Part 1 of 3
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Tonight, our spear-wielding heroine, Ruby, finds herself bicycling through the undead-infested countryside.
The Skinner Co. Network
FP289 - Ruby Departed: Contact, Part 1 of 3
[music] Some days glue me my hours are slumbless Dearest the shadows I live with by nonetheless Little white flowers will never wake in you Not where the brach ultra-sol is taking you [music] Angels have no fire ever returning you Or they may angry if I so don't join in you [music] Welcome to Flash Pope Episode 289 This evening we present Ruby Departed Contact Part 1 of 3 This week's episodes are brought to you by the Ice and Fire Convention Winter is coming And so is the Ice and Fire Convention Find out more about the con running from April 26th to 28th 2013 in Ohio at iceandfireconvention.webs.com [music] Flash Pope is an experiment in broadcasting Fresh Pope stories in the modern age 3 to 10 minutes of fiction Brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings Tonight our spear-wielding heroine Ruby finds herself bicycling through the undead infested countryside Ruby Departed Contact Part 1 of 3 Written by J.R.D. Skinner Art and narration by Opoponax and audio produced by Jessica May [music] August 11th, 10.25 am I was clear from the start that the bikes were an experiment and I'm still not fully convinced but so far we're making good time though we often have to ride the shoulder to keep our distance from the racks that litter the back roads Every pile of twisted metal or hastily abandoned pickup feels like a zombie booby trap waiting to spring Frankly, the close trees are also making me paranoid There were some naysayers amongst the farmers and the wanderers at first but even in the middle of the apocalypse if you give people a shiny gift they complain less We put all the cycles to use After we left that store it looked like it had been assaulted by bicycle eating locusts There wasn't a repair kit, water bottle holder or kitty trailer left to be had In an odd way it kind of feels like being back on roller skates It's the speed I guess I'm tempted to try josting but I'm thinking it would be too easy to flip my cherry red velocipede Alright, they've shoved the burned out cattle like a side We're off 11.50 am Ugh, no more riding on the go At least, not if I want to avoid a nasty case of road rash but I've got a minute while we get our latest nightmare sorted We were gliding past what I'm guessing was a one-man lumber selling operation A bunch of stumps, stacked piles and rotting shavings all over the ground When five stumblers came literally out of the woodwork I was near the front of the pack when it happened but even then I was as screwed as everyone else We should have all just turned around, right? It didn't happen that way People panicked, tires slammed into pedals and overloaded trailers toppled The road canned goods and knickknacks helped add to confusion When I saw forward was blocked, I planted my feet and started to swing my cycle but the folks on either side of me didn't have room to maneuver so I was left trapped In the end, one of the farmers who were supposed to be on guard got her rifle around and ended the panic in ten well-aimed seconds It really only took us a few minutes to get righted but staying still after moving so quickly for so long was worrisome We didn't have time for an argument The chief stepped up, which is a rarity It's weird On foot, he seemed like a force to be reckoned with but now, on a bike, he just looks like an old man His wife has fallen over twice and she screams endlessly until someone helps her I don't even know where she's getting her liquor at this point Maybe she's buying it from a wanderer's stash Honestly, I was rattled by the weird sense of claustrophobia I wasn't even thinking when I said we ought to keep some scouts in front, out loud I was only stating the obvious That old bugger has some ears on him, though The chief nodded at me and culled me from the crowd with a wiggle of his finger The group was murmuring in approval, which I guess is as near as we're going to get to a vote on the thing When I was done, he leaned into my ear You know, this is what mounted cavalry are used to do when we rode beasts into battle Trying to be flip, I replied That must mean it's a good idea, then Don't get too smug The concept has always been to send a few suckers forward And hope that one of them survives long enough to bugger off when danger drops on their noggins Since then, we've been gathering volunteers Ten of us will ride ahead I'm actually relieved At least I'll be able to run away Well, pedal, if I need to 2.43 pm I think we found another survivor Big red brick house, wide veranda Ground floor windows are heavily boarded And there's nothing but cornfield around the place Sky behind it is so blue We stopped because the chimney has smoke coming out of it Almost seems peaceful Wait, I hear an engine starting 3.10 pm There's at least one guy in the country castle He's got loudspeakers strung on top of the porch They look like he scavenged them from a baseball field or something But they were crystal clear from our seats, maybe a hundred yards off His voice was almost sad, but serious sad Old yellow put down your rabid childhood dog sad Keep moving, there's nothing to see here As I told the other lurking assholes, come any closer and you'll get shot at We sort of paused for a second Mostly because we were confused about the apparent lurking assholes So he continued I could sing for ya, if that helps Shouldn't take long for the noise to put it in a crowded dead folks to dance with Is he alone? How much food does he have in there? How lonely is he? We moved on That's when we saw the assholes, 20 or so, and their horses They must have been sheltering in the trees at the far end of the cornfield They're staying back for the moment, just close enough to see us without easily getting shot We get no answer when we shout at them We race, they race We walk our bikes, like right now, and they slow to a canter Heading back to the rest of the group might be leading trouble to everyone else But not turning around might eventually mean getting jumped We're equipped to fight stumbling corpses Not a pack of John Wayne wannabes Maybe we should split up It always worked out well in horror flicks [Music] Flashpulp is presented by flashpulp.com and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skier@skinner.fm or the voicemail line at 206-338-2792 But be aware that they may appear in a future flashcast We'd also like to thank the Freesound Project, found at freesound.org For a full listing of effects used during the show, as well as credits for the users who provided them Please check this episode's notes at flashpulp.com And thanks to you for listening If you enjoyed the show, please tell your friends [Music]