Prepare yourself for: Cannibal puppeteers, the AsimOff's results, lab breeches, pirate gore, and Sofia Esperon.
Read the full text, as well as the show notes, at http://flashpulp.com
The Skinner Co. Network
FC67 - Candy Shanks
[music] Hello, and welcome to Flashcast 67, a Skinner Co presentation. Skinner Co, because genetic monstrosities aren't going to breed themselves. This episode is also brought to you by generous donations from Colorado Joe and Gigantor. Prepare yourself for... Cannibal puppeteers... The Asimov's results... Lab breaches... Pirate gore... and Sophia Esperon. [music] Hi, I'm Opoponix. And joining me in this moon-based rebellion are Jessica May. Hey, hey, hey! I was a racist. Hello. No. Only against moon people. Yeah, that's what moon people sound like. Maybe you're the racist. Maybe I'm incredibly accurate. Yeah. She knows her moon people. It's part Zina, warrior princess. She went there one time. Sponderous. It wasn't actually Zina, it was Lucy Lawless. She does everything. Before we get into the show properly, I wanted to bring up a true crime tale, as I want to do. And we heard it's going to be really creepy. Yeah, this one was really rather disturbing. We said that we may end the show on it. So, good night. So, have you guys heard about this fellow Robert Brown from Florida? No. Are you reading a head in the notes? No. You shouldn't. I'm tempering my breath. So, I can take this with dignity. Alright. This fellow, Robert Brown, I'll say up front. Not a very nice fellow. Okay. Was busted for being a known internet correspondent with a fellow named Michael Arnett from Kansas. Okay. Now, Michael Arnett, also a very mean-spirited fellow, was caught with a few photos, which could loosely be, well, I believe he was charged under child pornography laws, but it did appear to be a small child cut up and eaten. But if it was eaten. Cooked. Like the cooking process. Now, this fellow- So, okay, yeah, keep going. I'll have questions later. No, that's not even, that's a side story. What ends up happening is that this Robert Brown guy hangs out with him in a Yahoo group, which is specifically dedicated to people who want to essentially molest and then eat children. And does it have recipes and stuff? Well, they discuss a lot of, that's not the angle that they focus on. They're not exactly looking for the best flavor to the meat or whatever. Okay. It's a lot of discussion about process is my impression. Mm-hmm. So, this guy claims that he would, he got arrested for it. He's, he hasn't done anything other than participate in this internet form. Although he has been, again, I believe charged with essentially child pornography laws because- They don't have any laws for this yet. Yes. But the heavy Yahoo groups. Maybe Yahoo groups for everything. Actually, as a quote from, well not a quote from Robert Brown, but I believe from the police officer who talked to him. His interest is not in child pornography, it is morgue pictures, or at least that's what he claims. Although that bit, as the article states, is mentioned right before, they part about how he buys children pizza every Wednesday and gives them a ride to church. Now, apparently he was discussing very specifically eating a very specific child. And this is a boy he regularly went to church with. Yeah. And although I don't know that they've informed this child, I assume not. I don't, he's probably entirely unaware of the whole situation. Although maybe he's like, "I used to get a ride with old Mr. Brown back in the day." Yeah. But to close it up and to bring it back into the sort of worst of all mob possible worlds. Okay. One of the things that he did as a community outreach sort of occupation was go around to schools as a puppeteer to teach children about things. Nutrition? Oh. So, I pictured some sort of terrifying vintriloquist dummy. Mm-hmm. No doubt that we'll eat your arm or something. Oh God. That's so horrible. Well, thanks for that. Yeah, that was quite bothersome. Yeah. Top that, Jeff. Oh, actually, wait. One last detail. As if this all wasn't bothersome enough. He actually used the puppetry thing as an excuse at one point for when he had been pulled over and caught with a pair of boys underpants on his front seat of his car. And he claimed that the underpants were for a puppet of his. Wow. Yeah, because the puppets need underpants. You can just move the underpants. Goodness me. Well, you need an excuse when you're that kind of guy. I have to admit there were a few choice or less than choice quotes that I had that I think I'm just going to put aside because this is already farther far into bothersome territory. But I'll put the link up in the notes for anybody who has this don't get it down further. Yeah. It has the stomach to take a bite out of this one. Nice. Good. Okay. So I know that you will be much more pleased with the fact and we totally mind cleansed by the idea that Taken 2 is coming to theaters pretty soon. No way. Okay. Do we know who's coming back? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me complete this tale to you. Actually, no. Better yet, Jessica May. Run the line. Listen to me carefully, Kim. Your mother is going to be taken. People are going to come for you too. What are you going to do? I do best. I can't even believe that they had the same sort of conversation between Liam Neeson and his daughter. Your mother will be taken. No, no, no. Your mother is taken. You will be taken. Otherwise, we wouldn't have a film. Yeah. What about the boyfriend? I did like the sort of, well, yeah, I assume that she was so caught up in Liam Neeson's Neesonness that his particular set of skills. That she left the rich guy to be with the guys who shoots everybody else. I'm sure. In Istanbul. Yeah. Well, we kind of knew that this was going to be in this vein. How else were they going to handle it? It's pretty much the same movie. But he just was, they explained a little less because they didn't have to because we know the character. So he could be just a little bit more over the top. Yeah. It's too much. I mean, I'll watch it, but yeah. I continue to wish I could pitch a taken television show in which each week it was just him working. It was like him working with his friends and every now and then he'd encounter his wife and they'd have like a, you know, a little sit down, drink a rue or whatever and talk about how she failed to test or whatever the daughter failed to test. But at the same time, each week would be him like saving some celebrity or whatever. And that's how you know he's have like guest walk-ons like, "Oh, this week he saved a exhibit." And he put a, you know, he put a rescue in his rescue. Like VIP. Yeah, except but with actual. But with real. Yeah. Yeah. With real famous people. Kind of like the Muppet show, but with gunplay. Oh, that'd be awesome. Mm-hmm. And excellent mix. But you know what? I think I've had enough of puppets already for the day. Yeah, for the point made. Speaking of stretching a franchise. Have you guys heard the news about the Hobbit? No. Yeah. Everyone's in a uproar. Trilogy. Trilogy. Apparently now the Hobbit is three films. Huh. Although I'm not sure if, cause obviously they've been shooting with scripts in place. So is the third film going to be just sort of the ongoing adventures of Bilbo Baggins? They've been working towards a pacing obviously, in what they've been shooting. So what is this new thing they've suddenly decided maybe we're gonna, uh, okay, yeah we are. Maybe they were all just overly long chapters of the story. Have you read the Hobbit? Yes. I'm not like, I love the book. I'm just not sure that there's three films there. But on the other hand, I'm kind of behind the idea of just giving Peter Jackson a camera and letting him run around a middle Earth for a while. Like I'm not entirely against that either. I'm just saying that we may need to accept that whatever Part 3 is, it's not the Hobbit. It's going to be, you know, the Hobbit Knights or something. Actually speaking of the Lord of the Rings universe while we're in that direction. I was reading just a quick little article that Lords of the Rings and Hunger Games have sort of combined to reignite the sport of archery. Apparently there's a lot more enthusiasm for archery these days than there has been in decades. Huh. Yeah, apparently it's a mix of elves and... And Katniss. Katniss, yeah. Awesome. That's cool. They should have like, uh, themed events, Lord of the Hunger Games, and I'll dress up and archery, playing games and jazz. That would be awesome. While we're entering a bit into book territory, I just wanted to bring up briefly. Have you guys heard about the, uh, "Damps and Dean Hotel" in England? Yes. No, what is it? They're replacing the Bible in the hotel rooms. Oh, really? Yeah, for something a little more popular. What? Fifty Shades of Grey? Mm-hmm. Either taking all the Gideon Bibles out, replacing them. Apparently the owner bought the establishment from Methodists, and I don't know if he has something against them or something, but he decided he wanted something a little more spicy in there. Yeah. He thought that maybe people would be a little less and like, may not want the stigma of purchasing a copy themselves, but to be able to enjoy what, you know, all the kids are reading these days basically. That's funny. That's awesome. Yeah, that's super sweet. Good for him. Mm-hmm. Let's keep this up, people. To make it bother somehow, however. If I were a fellow, uh, a Norman Bates type, running a hotel in which I would say, recording my guest's sexual exploits, I would certainly... Here's some pretty porno. Here's a little. Anyhow. Well, if wishes were vicious. Yeah. No, really, 'cause he don't want me to wish to. Here's a transition for you. Speaking of hotels, have you guys heard that there's two interesting pieces of the shining news? Yes. I don't know about now. No. Okay, what have you heard about? I've heard that they're thinking about doing a sequel only better than a original sequel. Well, there's two things going on there, right? Here's a possible, well, there is a sequel book being written by Stephen King, or possibly already, completed by Stephen King, called "Doctor Sleep." Yep. But Warner... Which does that not make you think of insomnia? Yeah, it does. Totally. It's interesting how everything ends up weaving together there. Oh, oh, it's interesting, isn't it? But at the same time, Warner Brothers, maybe to capitalize on the fact that "Doctor Sleep is coming out," is considering putting out a prequel film to Kubrick's "The Shining." Which is sort of weird because, as we've mentioned previously, Stephen King hated Kubrick's "The Shining." He hated his take on it. And I don't know if, like, it seems very odd that they still have the rights. I suppose if they originally produced the film, they have the rights to produce a sequel to their film. Hmm. That's a big deal. Stephen King...I don't know from this article if Stephen King has signed off on it or not. I don't know if he has any thoughts on it. So we'll have to keep our eyes open for that. Yeah, and then that further complicates the idea, or maybe they're setting up for the idea that they may put out a "Doctor Sleep" film once they've, although, from what I've read about that book, it's entirely not of the...you know, it's not like people go back to the overlook. Yeah. We do have another literary-related item in the Asimov to bring up further on. But before that, I have one more delicious piece of news. Hmm. Patrick Stewart, David Tennant, Kim Catrol, Dominic West, who, frankly, I don't know who that is. Yeah. No, oh, wait. He was one of the, uh, one of the hobbits. Brilliant. Yeah. They will all be working, well, probably not together, but they will all be speaking into mics, which will then be recorded and then combined into the sonnets, a, uh, mobile app. That's awesome. In which they will read Shakespeare's sonnets to you. Very difficult. Good. They should. Yeah. He just bust out a little Jean-Luc Picard reading Shakespeare to you and I read it. Thank you. When do I not need that? Actually, I believe Stephen Fry is also involved. I don't know why he doesn't get billing on that list as well. He's easily as respectable. Yeah, and that is more so. Oh, he does. Say actor Stephen Fry. Oh yes, but are joined by fellow Shakespearean actors, Stephen Fry, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, that's just as good being joined. I'm sure Stephen Fry would be all for that. Someone that comes out, you're going to buy it for me. Stamped it. Uh, absolutely. That is, if I have any money left after buying candy for Strasbourg, should he win. Mm. So the Azimoth. It is here. It is upon us. It has been decided. We just don't know. Yes, there was a surprise twist before the conclusion in which I reached out to Mr. Tom Merritt, the laser of Sword and Laser, and he was so kind as to get back to us and judge the competition. Although, frankly, picking Jessica May, although it was very trusting of Strasbourg, I don't trust you that much, so. Well, thanks. Yeah. We need someone impartial. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Jay may tends to be biased. Yeah. Let's go for Strasbourg. So instead, yes, we have the Tom Merritt. First of all, I want to say that I'm very honored to be chosen to judge this Azimoth. I don't consider myself an expert in Isaac Azimoth, but I will try to serve to the best of my ability. First of all, I'm looking at the photos of Grindspook, which I believe that is the flicker handle of Strasbourg. I find these photos to be of a younger Azimoth. They definitely seem to evoke the early struggling rider, the typewriter poised in the foreground, emphasizes that. In fact, one of these photos taken July 25 at 120142 seems to be an alternate Azimov who went to work at IBM. The other flicker collection from Flashpulp is a more classic Azimov, a later Azimov, an Azimov who's pondering the future, a future that he has helped create, and the pondering is emphasized by the rubbing of the chin in the photo entitled Preparing to Write a Physics Book for Children. It's a very difficult choice to make between these two. I have to say they're both very Azimovian, but since only one can be the winner, I will have to grant the title to J.R.D. Congratulations, and good Azimov to both of you. Oh my god. I kind of wasn't expecting it because Strasbourg did such a good job. Yeah, I actually would have handed it to Strasbourg, but no aspirations on those last-minute judge I brought in. Man, that is so great, and Tom did such a great job. Yeah, thank you so much, Mr. Merritt. I love the analysis. That was great. Yeah. He broke it down, you know, he took some time. But yeah, so you're the winner. Oh, we didn't, we're winning. Oh, the victory prize. Yes, the prize. What's the prize, Jamie? We are going to get local candies. Regional candies. Regional candies. I don't really know what that consists of, but other than I know kind of what Strasbourg was hoping for if he won. So I told him that we would send it to him anyway. Perhaps it will be a consolation box. We need some kinder mail. Some kinder mail. We know. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of different kind of kinder deliciousness, so maybe we can send him a variety pack. Oh, is kinder like something that they don't get very much? Yeah, he's run out, and he wanted some, so I said, even if you lose. We're sending him. Yeah, we'll send him. Absolutely. We'll hook you up. But yeah, excellent job. It was a good, good effort, both of you, gentlemen. I have to. We should make it an annual asthma. Oh. Yeah, I think if we do so, we would open it up, perhaps, to more participants. Yeah. Maybe some sort of charity aspect involved sort of, well, that would be nice. But as the, the Burns hair sprayer and photo taker, I feel partially responsible for your body. Awesome. Yeah, I totally, this is all because of me. My first move afterwards was to just trim down the bushiness. Yeah. That was really, I think, the key to victory. Well, yeah. Yeah. And I remember how fast you could jump in the shower after all that hair spray. Yeah, get it off of me. Yeah. And the book that was on your lap. Oh, Vincent Price, Vincent and Mary Price's Treasury of Recipes. Yeah. Got it off the eBay a few years ago. Yeah. Vincent Price's cookbook. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Great. Immediately, Mr. Nine immediately was like, "What Vincent Price's cookbook?" And as a nine-year-old, you know, I really, I appreciated, like, as he is a nine-year-old that he knew who Vincent Price was and it was a strange context. But if he understood the way Vincent lived, it was, you know, very appropriate. He knew what he was talking about. Yeah. Absolutely. Or at least a lover of gourmet and also an art fan. Overall badass. Yeah. Yeah. Generally pretty interesting color. So yeah. Awesome contest. Yes. Many thanks. Strasburg and many thanks, Mr. Merritt. That's right. Yeah. That was such a huge deal. When you're like, "Hey, guess, guess what, by the way?" I asked Tom and he said, "Yes." You're like, "What the..." And the... Oh my God. So on that note of victory, let's immediately drag the show back down to Earth. With a, uh, bothersome spot. [Music] Spotter bother. While diligently scouring the newsfeeds for this week's bit of bothersome flotsam, I stumbled upon a story that hits a bit close to home. Today, I'd like to offer up a dire warning to the staff back there at HQ. And no, it doesn't have anything to do with the loose kit car prowling around the employee parking lot. This is a bit more disturbing than a simple piece of rogue technology. My concern today, corporate espionage. Now, I'm not going to suggest that our very own rich-the-time traveler is by any means inflicting harm at SkinnerCo, but rather that he may, just may, have inadvertently participated in the type of domestic terrorism usually only discussed at Halloween. My warning today is to be very, very careful when sampling that innocent-looking box of candy. As one woman recently discovered, danger sometimes looms large in a pretty plastic wrapper. Here's the story from the mail online. After opening and eating from a new bag of candy, a young mother says she was left screaming after finding a rusty knife tucked inside. Amy Hu says she bought the bag of crunch and chew Jolly Rancher candy at a Santa Clara, California Safeway. And after eating a couple of pieces discovered the dull 3-inch blade that's partially wrapped in white tape, I was all excited to try them. Opened it up, ate two pieces first, went back in for my third piece and pulled this right out of the bag and was just in disbelief, she told KGO. After screaming for her husband, Mrs. Hu said she next contacted both the Santa Clara Police Department and the Hershey Candy Maker who has not issued a recall. The company issued a statement saying Hershey believes it was an isolated case in accidental. Accidental or not, Mrs. Hu said she's nervous about what else may have been in that bag after eating from it. I'm breastfeeding so eating something that was touching this dirty knife, I don't know what I just put into my body. It could have had hepatitis, I really don't know. The package was completely sealed and the wrapper indicates it was manufactured in Brazil. Hershey did not immediately return a phone message and email seeking details on Friday. In compensation, Mrs. Hu says she was offered three replacement bags of candy. As the mother of three small children won an infant, she says she is not seeking compensation but rather assurance that the candy is safe. That's just clearly my point of getting this across. I just want to make sure they're taking it seriously so children don't grab this and find a shank knife inside of it, she said. Take it from me, folks. This was a professional job. I've been trying for years to reseal candy wrappers and that's tough work. So be careful when opening the rest of that candy and if you find a shank, save it for me, would you? I'd love to add it to my collection. I'm Jeffrey Lynch and that's this week's Spot of Bother. Man, I love those shank candies. Shanko bars. Yeah, they have a really sharp flavor, they have earthy flavor. Keep this peace in mind when we get to the mailbag because I have something interesting to bring up at that point. A shank. That's something fascinating from the unknown package that even the unknown package didn't know it contained. What? A shank. You're pretty good. We're just fine and shank and everything here. Before we get there, however, I believe we have a tale of the sea from our own Captain Pigard. If you love a good tale and the splash of the salty brine on your face, then prepare yourself for the adventurous expulsion of Captain Ignatius Picard. Ah, this be me blood-soaked adventure. Blood spurted up into the air and rained down upon me freshly caught deck. It was to be that kind of day. The sort of day where Cutlass is flat in the sun, in cannon's boom in years. For too long we'd been playfully raiding the ships that left the port of Scupp and Thorp on sea and had grown negligent of our security. As we lay in wait for yet another boat full of jewellery and fancy bread, Admiral Nihorn's fleet snuck upon us from behind a used whale. They quite spoiled me morning with their aggressive pre-coffee behaviour. Nihorn was still smarting from their last slap and we gave him when we'd come across his flagship in dry dock for a barnacle shaven. We'd been quick to bear our rears and wagglem fiercely. We followed that up with a volley of grape-shot. Lil Harm was done but the affronted festered in his breast. Three ships was all it sent for us, calling them a fleet pushing the term somewhat, but a gaggle of boats does sound less impressive. We were outnumbered and we'd lost a few moments debating the odds. Not bad, we reckoned. On our side was wit, skill and underhandedness. I never sure went on in such a word. We punted ourselves past them and into a convenient fog bank as the gilded helmet, Nihorn's second favourite ship opened fire with our port cannons. They shredded the fog and smashed through the banises that young finger Pickle had spent hours painting. I'm sure it was the disappointment rather than the footlong spinters that brought tears to his eyes. Our surprising manoeuvre bore us precious seconds to wrap ourselves in the ocean's claggy mirk. If he lacked the experience of battle in fog, he would likely prang the vessel on some rocky spit on the fangs of a terrifying sea beastie. To us precisely those dangers we sought, for we were outnumbered, hung over and underhanded. Nihorn's balls dogged us through the metwists of mist. Gouts of fire ignited the wisps and the odd crewmen as they struck home. It looked like me infamous ill luck was failing me. It is a sad day when you cannot count on a spiny sea badger to rise up and devastate your dreams. The gilded helmet and her sister ship, her lady's loins, were growing painfully close. Each deft bob over the waves narrow the gap twisters. At last we could weave no longer, and the loins drove into the sea's groove and slapped smartly against the grim bastards flank. The rattling thunk of grappling hooks came next. Curse their cannon. They were too neighborly to fire upon, for the chefron cannon blows and shakers to pieces. I bellowed three men to draw arms. Pistled and sorted, we had but seconds before we were boarded. Me hook was in constant use deflecting blades and gouging eyes. The soldiers piled into a man barricade, a sword, daggers and woodwood nails in it, shots punching men off their feet. Metal hacked into flesh like a Madden butcher, but there were no pies for sharks are happy to eat as raw. Mind you, the flames that burst from careless gunplay and powder caches toasted more than one crewman. It is not known if the sharks disdain their meal or if they merely enjoyed it less. To us Mick who rolled out of our special cannon, Mr. Boom, from his hidden nest. He was always packed with incendiary joy, and he did not disappoint, lay in a sway of explosive pitch across her lady's loins. The conflagration cut off knee horns men from a treat, and we cut them down as they choked in her nether some smoke. We hacked loose the blazing vessel, so she could swing out into the path of knee horns remaining in buckly brace. With the smoke enhancing the foggy blur, we rammed almost intentionally into the gilded helmet, causing her to tip wildly oceanwards. It seemed for a moment as if she might recover a balance, but then I heard a cry from above. The sound of a Scotsman with wind in his kilt, ah, to us Hamish McMuffin, lending his unenviable bulk to the Boeing craft. He swung across on a straining rope, his rolls a flat billowing like sails. His momentum flung him into the main mast, which accepted him like a reed taking an elephant in the face. The gilded helmet sank beneath the waves. We reeled in Hamish, a task for three men in an ox. Sadly, we lacked the beats, so it took half a dozen of us. All men who should have been in the rigging to spin us windwards and away from our final foe, the cutty mutt. Ah, she was looking reluctant to engage us, having watched her sister ships succumb to our superior wit, swordsmanship and obesity. And yet she could hardly return to knee horn with a mass betwixt her legs. And nervously, she veered away from the bubbles that marked the helmet's passing. We snarred and snapped at a safe on the deck of the grim bastard, taunting them with our words and manly revelations. It was clear we'd raised their ire, for the ship turned sharply, as if she'd pulled a hard anchor to trick us. The mutt curved towards us, and yet continued her turn. Perhaps they'd pinned themselves into an anchored spiral, towards as she sped by that we noted the soldiers screaming, and then we saw. The vast, pulsating tentacles, with non-commonly feathery grip on the mast, that stretched across the deck in the crushed figures and down, muscular into the sea, which froth about the comb and beaky face of a beast most hideous. The ship roared by us, and the monster cocktroopers rex, hauled its screeching and crunching beneath the waves. I've long feared the climerical brute, whose origins I've heard spilled from the lips of mutilated story spinners into their ninth mug of ale. I, the mutant spawn of a cocker all swept out to sea, and consumed by a pregnant octopus, whose egg lane was violated by a deviant sea lizard. The result was cocktroopers rex, feared for its hideousness, rage and hunger. We offered our gratitude to the creature for its timely meal, but we were keen to remain off his dessert menu. We hauled at rope and sail to swiftly capture what wind we could. We drifted, at a disappointed and nail gnaw in pace from the foaming waters. Just before we re-entered the fog, it raised its brightly combed head from the red stained sea, and cried its terrible cock-a-doodle-doo, a victory. Which was disappointed then to emerge from the cloud banks and be faced with a vengeful armada of knee-horned ships. Ah, I feared we'd exhausted our reserves of bravery and fortune, yet we fled into the fog in us nonetheless. Yes, well done, and turning into the goryest episode we've ever put out. All of Nick, Captain Pighart, Taylor's work over at captainpigart.com, and plenty more spots of bother at bothersomethings.com Jeff puts a few out a week, and they are fantastic. Very bothersome. Guess what, other than that cat-burning. Oh, we got a surprise guest visitor. He's making a mess. Actually, speaking of Mr. Taylor, he sent in a little something extra to the email box at comments@vushball.com Yes, it says, "Hello, folks! I am, as usual, at least a week behind, despite my desperate efforts to catch up." Well, no worries, it's the summer slump, we understand. So I haven't been able to catch up with the enticing, explosive erotic scenes yet. I am hopeful of that one. I'd like to mention how fantastic Skinner Inc has been, thank you very much. Prime numbers looked amazing, and due diligence hit a nerve. Yeah, the art has really been stepped up, it's been nicely done. Thank you. The best drawings I've done recently have been on Draw Something. Oh yes, a question to them all. Oh, we had our time with Draw Something. I actually just started a game with him just recently. Oh, yeah, you're back to it? I don't want to get involved. Yeah, I still love The Draw Something. I just don't play it very often, but that's like every game I play. I know, I'm waiting for ever for her turns for Carcassonne. You probably could go to Carcassonne and come back before I actually play a turn. If you at home would like to play an iOS game with us, feel free to jump into the mod. There's a document there with all the mobsters, gaming handles or whatever you want to call it. Yeah. And you can just find us on the game center. But I'll be you. Unless you're the time traveler. Carcassonne. Oh, but he can meet the time traveler. That's because he can go back and change what he's done already. He's teaching me to play a mean game with Carcassonne. He's also teaching him how to make a game. I don't mean that in the old time, a mean game with Carcassonne. I mean, a really vicious knife-wielding game of Carcassonne. That's very kept right. Yeah. Where was I? Yes. Oh, yes. A question to the mob, I guess. Any recommendations of a good drawing stylus for a tablet? I have a transformer prime. Charity. I've heard good things about the bamboo, and I've personally had a lot of luck, although I tend to use my stylus much more for just taking notes. The Adonut Jot Pro. Yes. I believe if you just Google Jot Pro, it'll come across it. I really like the sort of ball point technique that it has. I feel like I get a lot more control out of it. I suppose you don't have a tablet. You don't have a tablet, huh? No tablet, huh? No, I don't. Why you bite me, okay? To continue, he says, reading a summary, "Dwelling loved it. I too sympathized with the haunted house. But then I'm not renowned for my sympathy." If you follow Shankenalia, one of his personas, on Twitter, you will see that he's not much far sympathy, but... But yes, see, somebody else felt for the house, I'm not the only one. Model behavior was chilling and brilliant. It felt like a nice DIY version of House of Wax. Ah, thank you, sir. Classic film. Er, how far behind am I? Well, I also really enjoyed Rich's Bunny Tale. Good work, sir. A couple of pulpy notes. I went to the Doctor Who experience in Cardiff Wales. It was great. You would all love it. I'm trying to sort out my pictures, all of which are terrible and gradually being uploaded here. The link, which I will provide in the show notes, I have actually looked at some of the pictures he's uploaded. They're great. Yeah, they're amazing. I would love to go to this Doctor Who experience. He continues by saying, "But since cameras aren't allowed in the interactive adventure part, I may as well just thrill you with the prospect of being managed by Daleks and running through a room full of weeping angels lit with strobes and movie lights." Oh, it sounds fantastic. I was followed by a geek paradise of staring at costumes, props, and monsters from the show. Spider-Man was okay, Dark Knight Rises was okay, the Avengers kicked the weeping puss out of them both. That's right. That's right, Captain. But I need some more good films this year. Keep up the pulp. Thank you. Thank you. Interesting. I feel like Dark Knight Rises and the Avengers, Spider-Man feels like it's fallen by the way aside. Anybody else? But there does seem to be the two camps, either you're an Avengers person or you're a Dark Knight Rises person. Personally, I haven't seen either, so quite excited to see both. Yeah, I want to see a lot of superhero movies. I hate calling them superhero movies, even though that's really what they are, but it just seems like not the right trope to fit them into. It's so weird to see Christopher Nolan and Joss Whedon working on these two projects, two of arguably the most talented directors working in Hollywood right now, or at least interesting. Yeah. Two of the most interesting directors working in Hollywood. Oh, actually, we have something I found on the Skinko voicemail directory inbox. I don't really know what it is. I did get a little scrambled email from Strasburg saying that it wasn't related to the Azimov, so we shouldn't play it in relation to that, but I don't know what it is otherwise. But it's from Strasburg? Yeah, it's from Strasburg, and it was found in the deepest, never-checked voicemail inbox. Hello. Oh. voicemail. Okay. Two, whoever is listening to this message, it is for the Skinner-CO Board of Directors, so please pass it along. Okay. Greetings, Skinko. This is Jay Strasburg. A few of your principles may know me from different social media venues, and I tend to pass along non-classified intelligence from time to time. It's lunchtime here at the office, so I wanted to take this opportunity to touch base. I just finished two of your recent flashcasts, so I believe it was numbers 65 and 66. I mentioned a couple things I found interesting, and I wanted to respond to them. Oh, by the way, I want to say that I really enjoy these stories and flashcasts. I'm not sure how it fits into your corporate strategy. In fact, Skinner-CO has been a mystery to a lot of us here. You don't really even have a tax ID, which makes you similar to us, but no less strange. Anyway, the podcast. I think I can safely say that the writing, the narration, and the sound quality are all top shelf. It's been a great diversion to me, and I really enjoy it, so keep up the good work. That said, the flashcast, right, 65. Mr. Skinner, just a quick point, the first same sex marriage to be popularized in comics was actually Archie, so we're going to check that. And then, flashcast 66, it was, oh, putting a smirk in the classics. All right, I'm going to ignore the basic arguments that you're ruining literature. I mean, that's kind of silly. I just think that there's two things that we have to keep in mind here. Number one, it's really a cash grab. A lot of that stuff is public domain, so whatever editing you do, you don't really have to pay the officer. The other thing that I want to point is that it's kind of easy to do. I mean, they're choosing all the easy novels for this pride and prejudice, Jane Austen's stuff. I mean, why don't they do it in all the classics? I mean, where are the steamy scenes in the hunchback of Notre Dame? Well, actually, that sounds kind of dirty. Turn it to screw. Yeah, same thing. Oh, crime and punishment. Where are the steamy scenes in that? Or something more modern, like an Elie Wiesel novel, what's just put smirk in everything? I think that that would be fair, and then, you know, it wouldn't be cherry-picking, which is what they're doing. Oh, also, you mentioned the as-a-moff, as-a-moff, as-a-moff, as-a-moff. All right, I just want to say good luck. You seem to be giving me ample opportunity to exercise that chip on my shoulders. So hopefully this won't end in catastrophic failure on the 26th, which, by the way, is my anniversary. So I think after that day, I'll be pretty clear and see you. Hey, boss. You got a minute? Oh, hey, Kevin. Kevin's my PA. Kevin, I'm on the phone. I'm sorry, it's really kind of urgent. Really? Uh, OK. OK. One of the labs just called. They said that there's a containment issue. A containment issue? Well, actually, they said there was a breach. Oh, breach. OK. Really? What lab? I think it's the Wainwright building. Wainwright. Hey, as in the Wainwright lab with the Solifer Growth Experiments, Kevin, wait, we weaponized those, didn't we? Yeah. OK. Kevin, I need you to get down there right now. OK. Oh, great. Attention. Attention. Attention. I think it's the Wainwright building. Wainwright. I got a lesson in meeting two with Kevin, so, again, you're enjoying the show. Oh, Mr. Skinner, if by some chance you happen to win by forfeit in the Azimoth, Azimoth. Right. I don't take it too hard, OK? Uh, right, I think I've got to go. That exceeded all expectations. Kevin. Kevin. That was great. That was great. Yes. Thank you. Ah. I stand corrected about the gay marriage in Archie, absolutely, although it wasn't part of the marriage. It was like two lesser-known characters. Yeah. I, like, barely didn't even happen to Strasburg. Well, I think we do need-- OK, he has a point about smutting up-- just smut up everything. If we're going to smut up free public domain novels, why not just smut up everything? But then, of course, what ends up happening, and I hate to say it, is that the great public domain book of them all becomes, uh, comes into question, and somebody's going to end up smutting up the Bible. No. It isn't already smutty enough. No? Actually, that brings up an interesting question, because there comes a point in any piece of literature's lifecycle in which it begins to seem outdated and a little bit quaint. Even the most scandalous novel of its time, you think of the things that were really putting people in an uproar in the '50s, and they seem sort of ridiculous now. Or even back in the Victorian period, right? So theoretically, it's going to come a day when shades of gray seems, perhaps, ridiculously tame. That would be so funny. I can't wait for those days. Anyway, I hope you dealt with that containment issue, Strasburg, be ashamed not to get my candy. Yeah. I hope that there's no rusty shibs in it. Yeah. Hopefully, hopefully. But many thanks, sir. Many thanks for the kind words. Indeed. That was wonderful. Speaking of candy, before we get to the next voicemail from Dylan and Ryan on the Twitter, I wanted to bring up a bit of comeuppance from a previous episode. Uh-oh. Unknown package on Twitter often whispers to me in the night. And the other evening it whispered to me that I should take a look deep in its bowels. And what did I come up with? A magical black and orange candy. And what was that candy titled? Peanut butter kisses. Let me see this. Wow. That's awesome. This is not the candy. That is the candy. It's not the same package as the one that I had, but I'm sure that it is the same product just packaged it differently. So as we go into Dylan and Ryan, let me taste sweet justice. Hello, flash pop crew. This is Dylan, aka Dylan and Ryan from Twitter. I am stuck here in my lab on this beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon here in Northern Illinois. So I thought I would call with my comments from, I guess it's this past week's broadcast. So, I'm going to start out, I'm starting to take this in chronological order as the broadcast put out. The Flashcast 65, North Stars, Game Marriage. I know that this stirred up all this controversy and latied up. But I believe this was actually done possibly last year in the Archie comics. And as we all know, the Archie comic universe is even more squeaky clean and less edgy than the Marvel universe, so when, I mean, for Marvel to come out, or maybe it was DC, who I'm not sure where North Stars from, for them to come out with a game marriage issue there, kind of seems relatively tame compared to Archie's game marriage issue. I also wanted to leave a note about the bit of honey that you guys were enjoying in that episode. I spent a fair amount of my childhood traveling across the country. And bit of honey were my dad's absolute favorite candy. And they were relatively hard to find if I recall, but that's because we didn't really know any, I guess, big candy distributors, warehouses, to find them. So I remember nearly every time we would stop at a truck stop or convenience store, we would always go looking in for a bit of honey for my dad. The Jailhouse Lover episode, absolutely, absolutely love it, fan, friggin' plastic. Yeah, just awesome, awesome work. The special episode, the another rescue episode, really dug it. I'm really digging this world that you're developing here. The one thing, I just, I don't know what it was about the story, but when the battle scene began to play out, I really saw it as a Warcraft battle. I don't know if maybe JRD used to play Warcraft, but that's just how I saw it playing out in my head. Not that that's a bad thing, but that's just how I saw it playing out in my head. So in your Flashcast 66, the discussion of the explosive erotic scene being added to classic works of literature, I kind of hold the same line that I hold when it was the same opinion that I had when the first, you know, pride and prejudice with zombies first came out. And that is that, you know, you've got your classic literature and then you've got kind of your slash fiction. And it's fine. I mean, slash fiction is obviously fine. I mean, 50 Shades of Grey is, I mean, that's a pretty clear example of how fine slash fan fiction is, but I feel that it should just be kept separate. So like the explosive erotic scenes in classic novels, you know, that's fine at all, but they could just be the erotic scenes on their own. They don't have to be, you know, it doesn't have to be pride and prejudice getting down edition or something. I feel like that would be fine to just kind of stand alone. So that's all I've got. Great work, you guys. It was certainly nice to hear from you. Thanks for calling in. Yeah. First call from you ever. I appreciate it. We're definitely going to need to be, well, he's submitted some items to the show before, but this is definitely the first call in. Yeah. I love it when people call in. That's so awesome. Yeah, send along your MP3s to comments@flashbulb.com. Just record them on your phone. Mm-hmm. Feel free to check them right at us. Yeah. Really care for our heads. If you mumble or stumble, Jessica May will be happy to clean it up a little for you. Don't worry about it. But brilliant call Dylan. And man, we are getting hammered. We need to do better research on our Archie comics. Yeah, I'm kidding. But thank you for pointing us out. We appreciate being kept. Yeah. We should have asked missing. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she would have known. Well, actually, the weird thing is that I've noticed an odd sort of-- She reads all our old Archie comics and not like the new ones. Yeah. Because some of the new ones are awkwardly sexual. I don't know if you noticed that picture I posted to Instagram a while ago in which basically Betty Veronica and two, I don't know, second string characters were having a semi-clad pillow fight and it was like the cover image. There was no joke on the cover. There was no nothing. It's that mad slumber party looking kind of, yeah. Very chiseled lady bodies. I find following Dylan's lab work on Twitter very interesting. Mm-hmm. And we're walking a weird sort of line here because that is actual lab work. Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, it's very interesting even though I don't really understand what he does. I would feel free to call back in and fill us in a little more. It sounds like you lead a fascinating life. What were you traveling across the country for? Fighting crime? I'm going to assume fighting crime. You can't tell us. Yeah, probably. You have to kill us. And his only reward, a little bit of honey. Ever since a young age. Mm-hmm. A great point actually, before we get off Archie, a great point about the fact that it was extremely, it is supposed to be an extremely squeaky clean story. They do, I think. They're getting to that point where they're slipping things in. I continue to think that the premise of the film's savages is actually just reversal of the Archie comics. Thank you kindly for your words on Jailhose Lover, and another rescue. I didn't have WoW specifically in mind when I wrote those scenes, but I have played WoW in the past. I think you had mentioned to me that Sophia Esperon is kind of your Conan the Barbarian. Yeah, she's probably as close as I'm going to get to being able to write that. There's still a possibility of a thread coming up in the future that'll cover some of that one that's not connected to the Flashpulp universe. Yeah. Well, it'll be weird. Sophia Esperon and her stories exist in the same sense as the urban myths and all of that business where it's something that, and Captain Picard as I've said, it's something that the youth of capital city might pick up at their local dime store, tales to entertain them. Excellent point regarding Fifty Shades of Grey, and it's origin as a fanfic for Twilight. Isn't nothing wrong with fanfic, okay? Yeah, yeah, but I do agree with Strasburg that it's just cherry picking, it's making easy money by writing an extra couple thousand words to staple into it. I suppose if you're making money on it, but you shouldn't be making money on fanfiction because it's somebody else's work. Yeah. Well, public domain. Yeah, exactly. It's a tough argument. Yeah. I'm gonna extrapolate this trend into the future. I wonder if we're going to get to a point where we can digitally insert explosive erotic scenes into Casablanca. Mm-hmm. All of the other... Oh no. Yeah, you don't know. Captain, right now. You don't necessarily feel it, but at the same time... How much money do you need, girl? Hide me, Rick. Ooh. What'll you give me? Ooh. Yeah. I don't know. I suspect that someday when the technology's good enough and people can basically do what they do now with Photoshop and just cut and paste. Even people without a whole lot of skills these days can gin up a pretty good fake image. So many things come to mind. So are we gonna talk about the candy? Oh yeah. How did you find the... It was totally the candy I thought of. It's just a different wrapper. I can see it. I can see it. Whatever. Once I'm wrong. Whatever. Whatever. There's always a first time. Never again. Just a slight bit nuttier than the ones that I recall, but otherwise exactly the same. One last thing, did anybody notice the Star Trek communicator sounds that chirped in the middle of that? No. I mean, Dylan Ryan is up to something interesting, I tell you. Anyway, halfway through that I swear I heard a... He is in the lab. That's right. Maybe that's an emergency call from Strasburg to get something locked down. Yeah, right. Get the containment locked down. Anyway. Hope you both survived the day. Thanks a lot for your messages. Yeah, call skin. One last thing, one last thing, and this should actually dovetail nicely in with. One more thing. There's no. This is not the Colombo of. Bryant Johnson is not the Colombo of the Flashcast. DB Johnson on Twitter/TheChardTree, which you can find over at TheChardTree.wordpress.com. Mobster and gentlemen. Just curious. Before the wiki, how did you keep characters' names and other writing info organized? Well, actually, as it stands, I can't keep everything in the wiki because there's so much ahead that we haven't touched on yet that I don't want to give away by just dumping straight into the wiki. Plus, I'm the one that does most of the wiki stuff, and so I don't like, I can't put in the stuff I don't know and he doesn't tell me ahead of time. Yeah. There are certain secrets you know, but you wouldn't be able to relate them to anything in the universe. Everything needs a link, so. Yeah. And if there is a link that's already known, then I put it in there. Yeah. To keep things organized, I have sort of multiple systems. I have an overview on the big board in my office of where the universe is heading. But at the same time, I don't really need it anymore. It's gotten to the point where I know what's going to happen, like the, you know, 12 points or whatever that are up there are not exactly an obvious at this point. But I do retain a lot of notes in a, just a simple notebook. I dump a lot of things into delicious with tags that help keep them organized, but those two items are mostly fodder for future episodes. I also have a large file of notes that I keep on hand via my iPhone and my iPad, actually just syncs with Dropbox, it's plain text, it syncs with Dropbox and I can open it with Notepad++. I'm not sure I really understand the concept behind delicious, but I think that's a good way to keep organized. Delicious is basically a bookmarking system for websites, but what it helps me with is that I can tag it with different, you don't necessarily notice them in the research post that go up on flashbop.com, but I can tag each post with the thread that I'm thinking about relating it to and a series of classifications that I've sort of made up on the fly like future science, retro science and a few others that I know, you know, maybe it's going to be black haul territory or maybe it's going to be coffin if it's something sort of a cult so I'll throw the occult tag on there, but I won't necessarily throw a black haul or coffin on. If I know it's something that I have, sometimes I encounter something that I know I can combine with another idea that I already had on my notebook and then I'll tag it with a specific thread like coffin. That's cool. And then there's always a Pope's brain, right? There's if things are, you know, she'll think, have we done something like this? Yes. Have we had a character like this before? Well, whenever I make up a new name, I do, because I keep all of my docs and Google Docs, I punch it in there and I see if I've used it before because all the scripts are on hand. As I mentioned, I keep in Dropbox, I have a series of plain text notes. And one of them is thread notes, which is future things that I need to cover, and it's all of the character points. Like every thread that we have is in there and they have sub points to each thread. So whenever I need to come back to, oh, you know, what have I been doing with murder plague for a while? When I add something new to the thread, I'll put it in there or something that needs to be addressed. And then when I've finally touched on that point, I'll either take it out or I'll change it so that it reflects the... Yeah, if it's something I need to continue discussing, you know, harm's daughter and sort of the state that they're in, I'll just update it to see what needs to be handled next. Again, a lot of those sometimes I don't even need to refer to because usually I'll just know what I was going to do next with that particular thing. It's really the far ahead items that I sometimes drop the ball on, and that's why I refer to those notes. I mean, I haven't done quite a while, but there was a time when I would get down to the last minute, look at the script just before we were about to post it, and then realize it would interfere somehow with some future story I wanted to tell. Actually, this brings up an interesting minor segue. Fish was asking if there was any significance to the fact that Coffin's "first ghost" was a cowboy. Maybe. Again, fish, you're very good. You're always listening. Perhaps you're on to something there. I can't give away too much. But if you may recall the berserkers, occasionally referring to Coffin as Sheriff, I think that's about all I'm going to say. Mm. A little blazer. A little blazer. Backroom plots. Another rescue, which we've already discussed briefly previously. Here's the thing. I kind of hate fantasy novels. I think we've discussed this a little bit before. And it's not that I hate fantasy novels in theory. A lot of them I have enjoyed in the past. But I hate the padding that is common to them. I hate the unnecessary side tracks, the five pages of terrain descriptions, and the facts. Let's be frank. Most modern fantasy franchises tend to get popular a couple books in and then realize that they've got a cash cow, and then they end up making like seven books instead of three, like they were originally intending. I'm not pointing any fingers unless they die before they can kill the cash cow. And then somebody else steps up like a zombie keyboard puncher. Anyway, so with the Sophie Esperon stories, part of that is me just wanting to write. Kind of poking fun at it. Yeah, a little bit. Like your references to what is Gwendoline or something? Gwendoline. Yeah, Gwendoline who once pulled straight the Crooked Tower. Oh, no, sorry. Guelmir, yeah. Oh, Guelmir, yeah. Yeah. Just a little... Once pulled straight the Crooked Tower of the Wizard Man, I'll meet. Those little bits, those little sort of nudges at the fantasy trope are great. Well, those are some of what I really loved about Tolkien, his work. Yeah. And then Thorin's grandfather who was with his cousin, Jermaine. Exactly. I love outrageous claims that have nothing to do with this story. But at the other hand, I'd much rather two sentences and then flip back to whatever else is going on and not, you know, a massive sidetrack into it. Yeah. Anyhow. We're not looking for side quests. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Antification. We just put it out. We've had some really positive feedback. This story I think comes from a really summery place for me, even though it takes place in the fall. It's just that Stephen King kind of feel that I'm sort of in the mood right now. You notice there's a lot of children and dogs all of a sudden. The boy without fear too, I mean... Yeah. Yeah. And not that I'm doing it on purpose, it's just sort of what happens during the summer I get a little soft-hearted, in a sense. I get all sentimental and... What's the word I'm looking for, nostalgic for summerhood days as a boy? Yeah. Anyhow, I believe it's time for... Are you a dassy, old hoe? So Jessica May. Hello. Anything you want to talk about? No. The R, O, never raised you. I recently asked a couple of people in the mob whether they'd be interested in seeing a Kickstarter project going out, thinking about... Oh yeah, your mad scheme of printing t-shirts. Yeah, I want to print some t-shirts. I think that'd be awesome. I think it'd be fun to see your designs on t-shirts. Mm-hmm. Although... Yeah, there are some hoops. Yeah. But it might be worth it, you know. That's what I'd really like to see to be able to... You just want to make your own t-shirts. Yeah, to be able to do it at like a level where it's cheap enough that we can give them to people easily, but it's not going to cost us too much to make in time or money, you know? We're not having to buy 500 of the same shirt in order to get a deal. Alright, well we better wrap up this humid Monday edition. You can follow SkinnerCo, all one word on Twitter, or you can actually look for SkinnerCo on Facebook. Or you can follow us individually at JRD Skinner, the Jessica Bay, and to Poponex with a zero. Big thanks to Jim for hosting wiki.flashbop.com. Thank you so much, Jim. And flashbop.com. Mm-hmm. Enjoy the show. Tell a friend. Really enjoy the show. We've got a Dony button on the site. Actually, we've been really lucky with donations lately, and we deeply appreciate it. Yeah. I'm not going back to day shops, it don't sound too exciting. Yeah, yeah, but no. But yeah, the love is definitely there. It definitely, as we keep mentioning the summer slumper, at least I do, and it definitely helps get me through that, anyway. A few of comments, questions, or suggestions, you can find us at flashbop.com or email us text or mp3s to comments@flashbop.com. Jessica mays, vocal talents, and musical stylists can be found at maketunes.com, and the entire run of flashbop can be found at flashbop.com or read the search bar on iTunes. Flashgast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license. [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC]