Prepare yourself for: Han Soto, joint dispensing gentleman robbers, Dr Pete, 200, and Ruby.
Read the full show notes at http://flashpulp.com
The Skinner Co. Network
FC59 - A Case of the 200s
[Music] Hello, and welcome to Flashcast 59, a Skinner Co presentation. Skinner Co. The tingling means it's working. This episode is also brought to you by generous donations from Scott Roche and Colorado Joe. Prepare yourself for Han Soto, Joint Dispensing Gentlemen Robbers, Dr. Pete, 200 and Ruby. [Music] Hi, I'm Opopenex, and with me, under Carwicks' eternally unblinking gaze, are Jessica May? Hello. And Jaredie? Hello. Hello. Hello. I actually, everyone was waiting for me to start the show, but I had to watch the new Rebecca Black video. Oh, I see. Oh, there's a new one? Yes, I was actually, I asked a Pope, I'm like, "Where has Rebecca Black gone?" But here, she doesn't like the answer. Yeah, well, I just did. Anyways, she's a little better, lyrics were horrific, but whatever. She's still partying in the front seat and partying in the back seat. Whoa, whoa, sing it, sing it, whoa, sing it, sing it. Yeah, good for her. I kind of want to see her stick around and get better. Can't be worse than what else is out there. I remember a few episodes ago, we were discussing that German DJ who got trapped. Yes, just sex slaves. Yes, got stuck for something like eight hours in an apartment with a crazy lady. Well, guess what? Oh, no. He married her. He found another crazy lady. A man? Okay, I'm going to start this off and you can tell me when it stops sounding familiar. A man was found sobbing in the street by police after his one night stand demanded too much sex. The African man broke down into tears outside the woman's apartment after the 36 hour ordeal in Munich, Germany. Oh my god. Police confirmed that the exhausted man told them I met her on a bus. She invited me back here. Oh god, it was hell. I can't walk. What? Please help me. Oh my god. That's a story I want to hear. Same lady? Wow. And she just destroyed this man. Unless she has a medical problem, someone needs to fix her. Someone needs to give her assistance. And unfortunately she's going to be more of a media friendly than anyone. Like imagine how terrible that must be for her. Like I know obviously, but like. Well, because yeah, I mean like the poor dude, but what kind of condition is she in too? For someone to go that far. Anyhow. For an insatiable appetite. You think after the first time they would have done something about that. But I guess. If the guy didn't press charges maybe. Maybe the first guy didn't, you know. I think there's kind of a tendency to try to maybe be macho through it. Perhaps once the DJ, the first fellow. If it off as it were. Yeah. And you know, it's unfortunate because no one would be laughing if it was. Reverseed. Yeah, reversed. But at the same time. Yeah, that's pretty horrible. Man, and he just like he got out of there and he just sat in front of a apartment building and cried. Oh, I would, you know, it sounds yucky that I say I want to hear a story because it makes me sound kind of yucky. But 36 hours of that, that's got to be crazy. Like how he would have to. There is a bizarre lifetime movie. I would actually watch that lifetime movie. Yeah, she's got to be given him a biagra or something. Oh, horrific. Hororific. Ouch. Ouch. Yeah. Power wire brand. So, yeah. Anyway, I thought that would be interesting for a little lead in. But from here on down, it's mostly movie news actually. Very nice. They're putting out this movie on lifetime. Yeah. Well, speaking of r-rated films, did you guys hear that the new Judge Dred Flick is going to be r-rated? Isn't he a Judge Dred? Yeah. Oh, maybe this is... Oh, no. No, no. It's not like a sequel. Oh, okay. It's a remake then. Well, I suppose it's not... Are you familiar with the Judge Dred character? There's Judge Dred Comics, isn't there? Judge Dred is actually a British character. I believe he originally started in 2008, which is a comic. Back when that was futuristic to say you were in 2018. And he was just a brutal fellow. He was basically a fascist in the future. But they're good stories. It's hard to explain. They're good stories. And the thing is that they never really translated to American comics. So, DC did come out with a line of them in the '90s that I enjoyed, frankly. But they didn't have the quality of anarchy that the original pieces have. 'Cause a lot of the... And, I mean, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong any of our UK listeners. But a lot of those 2000 AD comics had a lot more punk influence, I would say, than American comics did. It was a little more mature. It wasn't, you know, intended for nine-year-olds, necessarily. Anyway, anyway, so they are making a film and they're going to stick more to the original intention. And the reason I hesitated about you saying it was a remake, I love the character. I'm a big fan from all the way back, but... The movie. The movie was horrible. Yeah. So, who's going to be in it? Well, the guy playing Dread is the fellow, let's see, who played Bones in the new Star Trek film. Carl Urban. I don't really know what to cite him from otherwise. Anyway, I'm interested to see. I'm actually very happy to hear it's got in our rating. I think it's worth keeping an eye on. While we're talking dystopian futures, sort of. Dylan Ryan on Twitter was responding to our conversation about Ender's Game last episode. We were discussing it during the Hunger Games review. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, there's an Ender's Game film coming out, which he mentioned, and it looks really good. I'm surprised, I haven't even heard about it, but... No, I've only, frankly, I've only seen the IMDB page, but even from the IMDB page, I'm impressed. Let me get excited. Harrison Ford's in it. Wow, wow. Ben Kingsley's in it. Hmm. These are the folks that I really want to see, and the guy playing Ender is... The guy playing Ender, the kid playing Ender, is Hugo from the movie Hugo. Oh, okay. Not his actual name. Yeah. It worked out so well. They found a hugo. They found an actual hugo. Yeah. So, I'm excited. We'll see if it's good. Although there is one weird thing, there's a fellow, and this is really just one of those dumb coincidences. You notice when you're looking at the IMDB page, but there's a fellow in the film called Hans Soto, who you'd probably actually recognize. He looks like Harrison Ford. Hans Soto. Yeah. That's awesome. Harrison Ford's also in the movie with a guy named Hans Soto. That's very weird. That's great. You know what movie I'd love to see remade? Blade Runner. They are, I believe, making a new Blade Runner film. I don't know. I was just thinking Harrison Ford and dystopian futures. I think Blade Runner automatically. I have to admit, it's been a few years since I sat down to watch Blade Runner in its entirety, but I have to say... I've never seen Blade Runner. It's one of those movies that never stays with me. I've seen it like several times, but it's always new to me. I never remember what's going on. It really holds up. But I remember that. You knew to stop thinking while you're watching. Yeah. I really feel like it holds up extremely well. I don't know that it needs to be remade, although I could be corrected. Now, I will say for those geeks out there who are raging against Jessica has never seen a comment. I do prefer the narration list version. Not a big fan. There's two versions. There's a lot of hubbub about Harrison Ford's original narration. You literally did see this a long time ago, and you're like, "I really wish we had a narrated version." Yeah. Yeah, because it was really like thick, and it had to explain things that you couldn't really tell otherwise. No? Yeah. Or so they thought... Well, yeah. That's when maybe my dad... The movie really carries well without it, and I much prefer the director's good. Yeah. Well, you gotta, you know, hope that the audience pulls some things together. Yeah. Speaking of remakes, though, one that I'm kind of on the fence about, the remaking Carrie again. Mm-hmm. But, in an interesting sort of twist, it's going to be like a found footage film? And I don't know. We're kind of at our break limit for a found footage. Well, you know, she burns down the town. It couldn't be good. And they come footage from the prom... Yeah, I can see how they were carried. Camera, phone, video, and everyone's friends and stuff. Oh, look at what we're doing to the... CJ, you're a lame girl, you know. True, true. I'm thinking of that first scene in which she's in the locker room. And she's having a... Oh, yeah. Administration for the first time. Yep. And I'm wondering, are they just going to whip out a camera phone? And the locker room is out of thing, girls would believe we do. Yeah. Well, and she put my... Post it on my Facebook. Yeah, and be like, she doesn't even know. Yeah. You know what? It might actually work. You've convinced me, kids. Go out and make your little film. I actually picked that piece of news up in a much larger story in which Sam Raimi is supposedly going to produce the Poultry Guys remake. I didn't know. This is something that has been talked about for, I don't know, online for a little while now, it seems, but I don't think it's going to happen. So don't get your hopes up. I don't. I really like the original. You know what? Oh, man. I'm kind of on the fence about this one because Poultry Guys terrifies me so much. So much that I... You're on the fence because you don't have to be scared? Well, I like can't watch that without being so terrified. Yeah. So if it were to be redone and done well, then maybe I could get over it. If it would be original. If it weren't the original one, then I could still enjoy the second one. We'll scare the crap out of you. And then you won't be afraid of the first one anymore. Yeah. The first one will seem to lay back in person. Maybe. It's that creepy old guy. That's not Poultry Guys. That's one of my favorites from the Poultry Guys. That's Poultry Guys 2. Poultry Guys 1 is the Indian graveyard, right? Yeah. They built their house in the Indian graveyard. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, it sort of just continues that story in the second one, but Elder Kane is in the second film. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the tequila worm. I always think of that when I drink tequila. And coach. He's terrifying. No. Don't they smoke a dupe in the first one? Yeah. Yeah. I think they do. I did want to mention one less Hollywood piece of news that Strasburg passed along. It's just a short film available on DailyMotion.com and I'll link it up from the site. But you can find it. I'll do the annoying. Dailymotion.com/video/XQEYT8_Apocalypse dash pizza, underscore, short films. And I realize it's an annoying thing, but it is worth it. And that's why there's a pause function. Yeah. It is a short cartoon zombie apocalypse story that really, in my mind, hits a lot of old-school anime notes and a lot of the French animation that I kind of grew up on in love. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a fun little piece and it's really worth watching. So, thanks a lot, Strasburg for passing that along. Yeah. And it will be in the notes for those of you who don't want to go back and listen to that six times trying to get there. Apocalypse. Apocalypse. Dash. Score. Under pizza. Oh, Jessica May. I believe you wanted to mention a little piece of- I did, um, in regards to Benedict Cumberbatch. Did I say that right? Yes. Our friend from the Sherlock. True off. I am true off. Yeah. I was just reading on the internet about Star Trek II and how, uh, yeah, he's going to be con, right? Oh, totally con. God. Which you called it. Anyways, um, I think he was joking, though. Wasn't he already called it? No. No. You believed that. Anyways, um, I did have a link to it, but I think I veered off to Rebecca Black. But what I can tell you is J.J. Abrams, uh, called him up. I don't know why he initially went for him, but called him up. Um, Benedict was, uh, in the UK at the time and J.J. wanted him to audition. So he Benedict got his friend, Benny, to record it on his iPhone and apparently like he was really rough. I don't know if he had been drinking, but like he had been really, you know, kind of hard hit. I wonder if they'll include that somewhere then. Oh, I wish they would. Yeah. They're going to leak it like this. I hope so. Please. Yeah. I, that sounds really intriguing. Mm-hmm. So if anyone could call it up, it'll be a Cumberbatch is this fun. It'll be a Cumberbatch is this fun. Uh, yeah. Yeah. It's going to be an idea, isn't it? Yeah, it's going to be an idea. I hope so. Please. Yeah. I, that sounds really intriguing. Mm-hmm. So if anyone could call it up. It'll be a Cumberbatch is this fun. Yeah. She was just waiting. Yeah. This whole, this whole thing. Are you done? Are you done? Cumberbatch is a fun. I got it in. Yeah. Our man, our heron. Yes. Was mentioning the run for your lives. Marathon. Have you guys heard about this? His half marathon that you did the other day. Oh, no. Oh, that man is a running machine, but no. No, it's not what I'm discussing. Uh. In September, September 22, specifically for the Toronto area, although there's a number of locations. Colorado Joe. Get on it for 714. Anyway, it is a marathon setup so that you run it and there are zombies on the course. Yes. You're running away from zombies. You're giving us, yes. And you're giving a certain number of, um. Flags. It's essentially like. If the zombies catch you, they take a flag. Yeah. They take a flag and then there are obstacles. Wait, are they like running zombies? Oh, there's a thing. Oh, my God. That would make me. Oh, okay. My understanding is that there are a lot of slow zombies, but that there are occasionally fast zombies. I knew you don't know. And they probably burst out of the woods or whatever. Oh, my God. Remember me at Canada's Wonderland during Halloween? Yes. Running around and the people chasing you? Because you kept screaming. I don't want to act like a little child. You should totally do that. I am seriously considering it. You should. That would be like, how often does that come? Come on. I would love to be a zombie. That's something else entirely. Oh, you can do that as well. And there's some extra items they'll give you. I was a zombie t-shirt. Oh. But you still have to pay to be a zombie. How much is that? And what's the charity? I see them as a charity. They're just making money. Well, get the bam. Well, they're putting on a marathon. Who's the day? Who's putting it on? Run for your lives.com. To be a zombie costs 25 bucks. Okay. You get a few extra items out of it. You get snacks and beverages and... Wait, brain snacks? I don't know. And you also, if you want to, you can take a free race out of it. Which is kind of nice because the actual race costs, especially as it gets closer, can get pretty expensive. I think it's a $70 registration fee. There's a number of races that they run during the day. The event takes place one day, but they've run like three or four races. Okay. All right. So if you sign up to be a zombie, you can be a zombie in one race and you can run a race for free? I think you're essentially a zombie in the other two or three. And you're... Oh, no, you know what? I think that's right. I think you're a zombie for one race and then you run one race. Oh, that's cool. Mm-hmm. That would totally do that. The zombie discount. That would be so much fun. As a zombie, you will have some responsibilities. Arrive two hours before your shift. Sign in when you arrive. Act like a brain hungry zombie while you're on the course and scare runners into actually running for their lives. Two hours a year. Are they doing makeup? Is that why? Maiming. Yes, that's exactly it. They'll turn you into a zombie. It's a fun part. I would actually just do it to have pictures of. In September, we could swing it, guys. We must do this. We should totally do that. Imagine the photos we could get together. If there's any mobsters, we'll do this together. Stamped it. Act like a brain hungry zombie. I can't do that. Please do not hit, bite, tackle, slap, trip, or push runners. Oh, I can't bite people. Only attempt to grab their tasty flags. Mm-hmm. Tasty flags. Oh, flags. Oh, my God, you're so good. Oh, interesting. If you're interested in chasing the living with some zombie friends or family, then you must create a group name. All members of your group must register with this group name. Oh, my God. Well, it's probably just to keep you in the same area on the course, right? Yes. But that would be... mobsters. Yeah, if we intend on going anyway, then we could... Give me the mob. That's so great, guys. Who's in? Who's coming with us? Who's coming to the brainwalk? The run for your lives. Brains. Brains. And if we find our heron, everyone has to read him. That sounds so great. I know. I'm so excited. I'm going to put it in my calendar. We watched a couple of pulpy films since last time. We did. Oh, yes, we did. Rise of the Planet of the Apes, finally. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Not what I expected. Not to say I had much anticipated that... Yeah, well, I had a lot of faith in Fish's review, and I think he really delivered well. Mm-hmm. I have no problem following an ape as sort of my sympathetic protagonist, so... Absolutely. That was fine with me. Um, I really enjoyed it. Mm-hmm. Like, there was so much facial movement and stuff, variation that you really felt for it. Yeah, there was a lot of emotion. They did us face really well. I wasn't sure if it would be, like, a two-computer-y. Yeah. But they managed to keep him looking like an ape. Mm-hmm. But still passing on human emotion, you know? Yeah. I don't like how well they handled shout-outs to the previous films. Mm-hmm. I find it interesting that they're talking about this as a reboot of the series after the recent Tim Burton business. Mm-hmm. Or not that recent now, I suppose. Or is it like they're ignoring that one? They're totally discussing just doing another film and keep it, and I assume at some point... Really? Charlton Heston's analog is going to show up and... Damn dirty ape. 38, yep. Yeah. It's funny because this film, the name rise of the planet of the apes, is so long and it makes me realize that we're running out of film names. And then a few days after watching this, we watched Jule Robbery. Oh, jeez. Which, you could not name a film Jule Robbery these days. Yeah. That was the first ten names for movies they came out with. For real. Anyway. I can't believe we'd never even heard of that movie before. Yeah, it was pretty hilarious. William Powell film. Is that a Jule Robbery? Gentlemen Robbery. But yeah, he does it in such a nice way. Such a nice way. Sit down. Who'd you like some tea? Well... Let's chat. When I found extremely interesting, I believe this film, I don't have the IMDB page in front of me, but I think it's 33. Yeah, it is, yeah. And he has these bankers that he's rotting sit down. Oh, we actually had to... And he has this. To stop the film and rewind it and be like, are we really seeing that? He sits them down and then he starts handing them joints. And then they all start giggling and like... He gets them all stoned. And then William Powell, throughout this whole thing, keeps discussing how, oh, there's no harmful effects. They'll just get hungry and in the morning they'll be fine. Yeah. Tries to get the lady to smoke a couple of joints with him. Yeah, yeah. And then he ends up... Because he's well-versed. He hands off his cigarette case to one of the security guards who eventually ends up distributing the contents around the police station later in the film in a moment. The police chief. So everyone in the police station gets stoned. Because William Powell doesn't want to get caught and he doesn't want to, you know, be shooting people dead or whatever. He just wants to send them on their way, kind of, you know, out of it. And so they'll just kind of flip it up. I've got some eye and walks out the door. Yeah. Like he's doing them a favor. I thought that was pretty funny. Also, I found it... It was hilarious. I found it interesting even though it was in 1933, the first scene they're discussing an invisible beam alarm system. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember you being like, "It's like the first laser alarm!" Yeah, the laser alarm trope. But like, 1933, we've been kicking that beast around. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Jewel robbery. That's what we need a remake of. I love William Powell. Yeah. No one should ever remake that. No. Don't touch William Powell. All right, before we get into something a little more bothersome. Fan Expo. Ah, it's coming up, isn't it? And every week we have someone else to come to the hotel and see that. Tell us they're coming along. Mm-hmm. So exciting, guys. I'm so excited. I know. Of course, we'll be releasing an agenda closer to the day. Mm-hmm. We're trying to do some offsite stuff because I know some people aren't... It's interesting. Some people want to come see us, but they don't necessarily want to go to the exit. We want to go to the convention, yeah. Mm-hmm. Which is very nice. Yeah, it's nice. We'll have a little bit in, a little bit out. Mm-hmm. Yeah. One evening, guys, all we're going to do is just play board games and have some beer and snacks. Damped it. Yes. It's going to be so great. It just makes a lot of use. It makes a lot of use. And we're just as much fun in person as we are on the show. And... Feel free to have coffee if you're not in the mood for beer. Oh, yeah, yeah. You don't have to do that sort of thing. We're not going to get all sloppy and ridiculous, but we have a nice little list of people going. I didn't say that I wasn't getting sloppy and ridiculous. I'm just saying other people. You don't have everybody come up and see JRD gets sloppy and ridiculous. Well, you're going to realize, guys, like, we haven't...the three of us, we have not been away from the children ever. Dislong, no. Well, together would be three days away from the children. So that's... We've never done that before. You know, that's crazy. So we might have a wobbly pop or two, but we'll still keep it real and awesome for y'all. That's so funny. And then we'll cry when we miss our babies. So let's talk about who's coming briefly. There's Ray. Yeah. He will be coming from the north. Yeah. He will be driving. Yes. He will be having a room in the mobster hotel. I believe he's bringing some, uh, a friend or two. Oh, that would be nice. I believe so. That would be so great. Um, and, uh, Juju Click, one of our lovely supporters from so long ago from... Very interesting. Yeah. She's not interested in the con, but she wants to come hang out with us. So we're going to... Yeah. Um, and who else? Who's after... Rich. Rich the time traveler. That is so exciting. He's flying non-refundable ticket, so there ain't nothing he can do about it. Our man, Mr. Lynch. Yes, Mr. Jeffery Lynch. He was the first register. And, uh, who else? Anybody else? We have a couple other meetings. On the sides. But they're not... Cool. And a few, uh, mobsters who live in Toronto, but we're, you know, nothing's confirmed. I don't really want to be telling you. Yeah, exactly. Straight out. But those are confirmed confirmed. And those are, like, contributors, man. That's a cream of a crop, man. That's like the best we get. I'm so excited. That'd be good. I know. If we could get them all out here, but... I know. We should see if Barry could take a trick off your turn. Well, yeah. You just... You don't want to poke people individually. They know that it's coming. And, like, you know, if they could. I'm sure they could. Yeah, yeah, I know. Barry is so overwhelmed with his job at the agency at the moment. The agency. That sounds so sinister. Speaking of sinister, time for a little spot of bother. Spot of bother. One of my earliest childhood memories is of my love for lifesaver candies and how they almost almost killed me. I know. A bit ironic, right? I was small, maybe four or five years old, happily sucking away on my favorite candy when I somehow managed to partially inhale the thing. I ran to my mom, who was both talking on the phone and doing laundry at the same time. I pointed to my throat, all the while gagging and wheezing in a near state of panic. Without missing a beat, my mom said, "Hang on, Merle. I'll be right back." She then laid the receiver down on the wet laundry and plunged her finger down my throat, using her long nail to hook into the demonic ring and yank it from my windpipe. "I told you to be careful when you eat those things," she said to me, then picked up the phone and resumed her conversation with Merle. Other than the occasional gnat or errant bit of outdoor flotsam, that was the only instance I remember inhaling anything and how my mom knew just what it was and what to do has always been a mystery to me. I suppose if the lifesaver had gone all the way into my lungs, it would have eventually dissolved all the while giving my breath a sick, sweet, cherry odor. This disturbing old memory came to mind this week as I read a similar story. Only the roles were reversed and it was the mom who sucked something down the wrong pipe. Here's more from www.wtsp.com in, of course, Florida. A Seminole Heights woman who moved to the United States from Cuba in 1994 got a pit in her stomach this past December when doctors showed her a dark spot on her lung. But it turns out the pit may have been the problem. For 28 years, Blanca Rivera suffered from a debilitating nagging cough. She treated her countless times for asthma and pneumonia. "It was horrible. My life had just been horrible," said Rivera. Five months ago, Blanca coughed up blood, frightened. Her daughter, Deanna, brought the 62-year-old to the doctors again and this time they found a mass in Blanca's lung. The dark spot, they suspected, was cancer. We have to do surgery and we have to start searching to find out what can be done. Blanca says she was advised. In tears, Blanca called another daughter, Melody, who still lives in Cuba. She told her about the sad diagnosis. But then, Melody reminded her mother of a story from three decades earlier when Blanca was eating a piece of fruit called a nispero. Blanca had all but forgotten the story of the time she yelled at her children and accidentally inhaled a nispero seed. "I told my daughter no, it can't be, it's been 28 years, I mean it can't be." It was just too ridiculous, though, Blanca, that a pit could be the culprit after three decades, but a few weeks later, after a second endoscopy, Blanca was sitting at a traffic light, started coughing violently and it came out. The seed that had set in her lungs since 1984, her coughing practically gone now. "She's even been able to blow up a balloon for my son. She had never been able to do that," said daughter Deanna, note up. In two weeks, Blanca will go back to the doctor to check her lungs again. But she's already breathing so much easier that she believes in her heart. It was the pit all along, not cancer. The family calls it a gift from God, a second chance, a miracle. "I can breathe, I can sleep, my life has changed completely," says Blanca. Blanca's breathing may still be compromised somewhat because part of her lung is damaged from the seed having been lodged in there for so long, but the coughing she says is all begun now, and she feels like a new person. You know, I suppose the very act of eating is always a bit of a danger, and many of you also probably have choking stories. As for me, I still have my hard candy fetish, but these days I stick to altoids. After all, they are quite tasty and so small that they couldn't possibly pose a choking hazard. I'm Jeffrey Lynch, and that's the day he's spotted. "No, Jeff, no! I love the endings for his show." "I know." "I know." "Nicely done." "You're so very nicely done." "I have to admit my hard candy of choice, job breakers if I can get them, but gobstoppers in a pinch. I choose to believe that all of my candy is made by Gene Wilder." "Yeah. Yeah, you actually have a preference of style of job breaker." "Oh, absolutely." "I prefer I absolutely avoid the gum interior job breakers, waste of my time, might as well just be a gumball." "Yeah, a powdered center, or I like the ones that are hard all the way through, but there's a certain reward to having the powdered center where you still feel like-" "Cuckrunch. Cuckrunch. Cuckrunch. You get that solid." "I'll finish the line." "Yeah, but it's been hard for us to find them, actually, the ones you like. They're like, 'cause he likes to stick in his cheek, right, so it can't be big. It's like white with little speckles on it. Sometimes we can find him in the mall." "I don't mind the multicolored ones." "Oh yeah." "Anyways, we can generally only find the ones that you super dooper like. What did they even call? They had a name. They were like creamy ice cream, something. Do you remember the name of them?" "Oh, not off the top of my head now." "But we would always change our, you know, loonies and tunies into quarters so we could get them for it. We'd have pockets of jawbreakers on the way home from North Bay." "Mm-hmm. Oh yeah." "Yeah." "Good times." "We should just write to the company. Just find out if we can buy them from our warehouse." "Well, when we lived in the woods--" "We'll do a sponsorship. They can pay us in trouble." "Yeah. That's right." "When we lived in the woods, we had the hardest time finding jawbreakers forever, and we even had a guy at a convenience store ordering different types of them, but they were never in bed." "To see which way." "Well, he was terrible at listening and he would constantly--" "Yeah, they would be giant or not the right thing at all." "We'd be very clear." "But it was super cool having a guy at a convenience store ordering things especially." "Yes, but it was ultra frustrating by the end of it. And then he died. No, I'm just kidding. It's fine." "I thought he was accused of being a child muster, is that not-- why am I remembering that?" "Mr. Muster?" "I don't think so." "No." "Thank you, Jeff." "That was so good." "An excellent piece as always." "Plus, I like the interesting tidbits from his youth." "Yeah, I always enjoy how he manages to bring together the personal experience." "And his mom." "I totally want to be his mom." "And cool. Hang on, Murrow." "Yeah, she already knew. It was like she was expecting him to come. Like in the morning, she had a Jedi moment and she saw what was going to happen." "Yeah." "Mother's. We just know." "It's interesting how those experiences can burn themselves into your memory though. I've never had a choking experience, but I've definitely had one of those very brief, very intense moments of danger where things could have really went wrong and, well, my brother almost drowning in our youth. Not all that deep water, but he was a short kid, like he was just little. And I just waited in and, waited in and pulled him out. "If you hadn't have." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Scary, fortunately, we're still alive. And without a fruit pit in our lungs, it's so crazy." "I know." "Anyways, thanks, dude. Awesome story." "You can find all of Jeff's bothersome business over at bothersomethings.com." "Alright, now bring me the fish." "Fresh fish, a new batch of cinematic pulp with the always-listening, 3-day fish." "A flashcast, 3-day fish here, and it is 2-10 AM Eastern Standard Time. I'm gonna do this review, I'm gonna man out and do it." So here it goes. This week is the Avengers, obviously, and I kind of feel like I did when I did the Harry Potter review. Everyone who wants to see this movie has seen it and probably saw it with me at midnight. In fact, most of the world saw it before America did, so, and we've all heard the buzz. It's been breaking bank, it's been getting great reviews, and it's not without reason. It is a good movie. It definitely made up for Thor, but to be honest, like Thor was good, but like, uh, of all the Marvel movies, it was kinda like borderline, but Thor was definitely much more of a player, much more. I care much more about Thor in this one, and they made the excellent, excellent choice. They avoided the Natalie Port. They just referenced, that's it. Awesome. Thank you Marvel. Now, I remember watching like adventure cartoons when I was younger, and so it was a bit formulaic. There's like the team being assembled, and there's the team meeting and kind of having friction. The whole team being in one room and having a whole lot of friction, but then somehow this big event happens, they all have team 9 to solve this mini crisis, so now they're much more of a team, but not quite yet, and then there's that one unifying moment, where they're all just in sync, boom, where the Avengers no foe. Now the unifying moment, where they're all a unit, was pretty good, I enjoyed it, I thought they did it well. To anyone who's worried, aren't brofalo, certainly does a good Hulk slash Bruce Banner, I'm not sure how much Hulk he actually did, but he was as good as Bruce Banner. Oh, I noticed there was a lot more comedy in this one than there were in previous Marvel movies. I mean, there was like comedy in like the Spider-Man movies, but that was the same rating. You definitely get the sense that Joss, if you're familiar with Joss, you definitely get that, these jokes are coming from Joss, and I can see how someone might think that the jokes were over much, I felt they did not distract from the movie, so I believe that's everything I wanted to touch on them, and the verdict is of course a green line, it was there any doubt, but yeah, that's all for this week folks, always listening. I think a lot of what made Spider-Man work was the whimsy factor, I think we've discussed that before, and that sort of light-hearted humor that Joss Whedon can do to kind of keep that thread of comedy going through a relatively tense situation, I'm thinking about Buffy and Firefly. To my mind, fits perfectly with the comic ideal, you know what I mean, these are all a bunch of swaggerists right down to the Black Widow, they're super-powered or kung fu fighting or whatever, and they should be delivering comedic lines and having exchanges and all sorts of business, that's very much up the comic alley, that's the whimsy, if we wanted a realistic gritty punchy-punch fight, I'd hire Christopher Nolan. Yeah, exactly, I was never a really big fan of the Avengers comics, but I'm really excited to see this movie, just based on the, it's like a combination of all the other Avengers movies, not to Avengers movies, but Marvel movies that came before it, so it's like a final step. Well, it's not the final step, it's the first step, because they've already announced that they're going to be continuing this universe situation well into the future. Yeah, I had been reading that it was a little hard to make or to get the amount of money, but because of Robert Downey Jr. and of his success with Iron Man, that assisted with the franchise. Mm-hmm, y'all, I believe it. And now that it's been so successful, like even the furnace guy today came in and he asked me if I saw it and we were talking about it for a while, so it's big news. Everyone's just so pleased that it came off well, because it's both well for the future. I actually have to admit, I'm kind of excited to see Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk, he is my favorite of the Avengers assembled. Mm-hmm. I think I've discussed that previously. Mark Ruffalo? Yeah. That's cool. But Ed Norton left me a little cold and let's not even talk about the Ang Lee monstrosity. But I'm glad to hear that it's getting good reviews and I'm glad to hear our very own fish gives it a stamp of fishiness. Yeah, I like it when he goes to the movies for us and he enjoys it. Yeah. Yes, and big props for calling it in well after your bedtime. So thanks a lot, fish. What do we have next? I think we've got a little New York minute. Hollywood Russell and the Case of the Virtuous Vixen, part five. Last week, Hollywood Russell revealed some startling medical details. The woman currently in his embrace once stole his kidney as she returned for the other. Will Hollywood Russell spend the rest of his life hooked up to a dialysis machine? Is this an appropriate subject to be joking about? The answer to those questions and probably many others in your life is no, so let's move on. Hollywood Russell broke the embrace and took a step back. The light streaming through the office window, cast by the flickering red vacancy sign on the cheap motel across the alley, fell across the woman's face. Frankly, it looked like an old boot. Clearly, the last few years had not been nice to her. "Don't look at me that way," she pleaded. "You don't know what I've been through." Hollywood took off his hat and laid it on his desk. "Why don't you tell me about it?" The woman shook her head. "Nah, it's not important." Hi, I'm Barry, and this is your New York minute. I want to change things up a bit tonight, and I'm going to relate a story that actually happened to me. Fellow mobster Mark was there, and he can verify every sentence of it. Everything here is true. I only met this man once. It was a long time ago, maybe 20 years back. My friend Mark and I had been invited to someone's birthday party. We didn't know the guy, but we were invited via a mutual friend, a guy named Marvin, and that's not his real name. If you knew Marvin, you'd already know that this was not going to be a ordinary party. Marvin was unusual, let's leave it at that. When the three of us arrived, the first thing we noticed was that the house was very quiet. We stood on the door step and rang the bell, and there was no sound other than the echoing of the bell. Remember, this is a party we're going to. Soon, the door was opened by the birthday boy's father, who looked back into the house and yelled, "Alex, your party is here." Now, let me make this clear. Aside from the birthday boy, and I'm going to keep on calling him the birthday boy, despite the fact that he was around 18 or 19, the party consisted of his father, his friend, Marvin, and a pair of strangers, which, of course, were me and Mark. I'd seen the recall bringing a present, but for the life of me, I have no idea what it could have been. So after being introduced, we sat in the living room, and the father mentioned that they were moving to Hawaii that Sunday. Interesting, I thought, as this was, as I recall, Wednesday or Thursday, and the cluttered house showed zero signs of packing. The father muttered something nasty about his ex-wife, and showed Mark and I around the house, while Marvin and Alex, the birthday boy, went off somewhere else. Mark and I were brought into a room that, at one time, was a dining room. It had a dining room table, and had dining room chairs around it, but that's where the resemblance ends. All four walls, floor to ceiling, were shelved, and on those shelves, videotapes. Literally, and no exaggeration, thousands and thousands of videotapes, with hundreds more stacked up around the room. And I can only imagine, 20 years later, what happened when the world shifted to DVD. Out of the thousands of tapes, not a single one of them was store bought. Every tape was something he had recorded from television. So who was this guy? A videotape wholesaler with extra stock on hand? A huge television fan? Or was he the man who wrote it all? Yes, he was the man who wrote it all, Art Lieberman. Come on, you know Art Lieberman, right? You must. Look, even if you've never heard of him, you must know his most famous TV show. I know you've seen it. It's called The Twilight Zone. He wrote about a third of them. I thought Rod Serling wrote The Twilight Zone. I said to him, no, he had old team of writers, and he just stuck his name on them. Rod Serling never wrote a thing, Art informed us. Interesting news. As a budding writer, I was impressed. So which ones did Art Lieberman write? Turns out that, coincidentally, he happened to write every episode I named. The one where the airplane goes back in time when they see the dinosaurs? Yep. The one where the earth was moving closer to the sun, but it was really moving away from the sun? Uh-huh. The one where the aliens say they come in peace, but they brought a cookbook? That's mine too. The one where Starbuck crash lands on the old west planet, and he finds the cowboy's run? Yeah, Rod put his name on that one too. Hmm. He next brought us into the laundry room so he could show off his computer. This was around 1989, but the computer was obsolete even by then. It looked like it would crash if you tried to play Pong. He sat us around the computer and asked us if we wanted to play a trivia game. I was starting to feel a little guilty. I mean, after all, we were supposed to be there for his son's party, weren't we? And stranger or not, we should at least see him for a couple of minutes. But the trivia began. Art had booted up the computer, and I swear I think he used a crank on the side, and some orange words flicker on the old monochrome display, Art M. Seed. Who wrote the hit song, "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to." We didn't know. I wrote that back in the 50s, he educated us. I wrote tons of songs, but we didn't get any money for them. You know the answer song, "It's Judy's turn to cry?" I wrote that too. Hmmm. And so the trivia went on, "Who wrote Casablanca?" Mark answered, "Rod Serling?" I responded, "No, it was Art Lieberman, only Rod put his name on it." And Art said, "With some bizarre pride in his voice," right? I wrote it, "Somewhere in the house is a film reel with the original ending I wrote." Yes, I know what you're thinking. That gag turns up in a lot of places, including The Simpsons, but he actually said that, "He probably wrote it for The Simpsons." It was an absurdly easy trivia game once you realize that every answer was Art Lieberman, and he had a BS story to go with every one of them. Some of the stories included more nasty remarks about his ex-wife. He brought us back into the living room to show us one of his most prized videotapes, a really bad copy of 1982's All Star Gala Night of A Hundred Stars. This was a truly awful, and I'm laughing because it was so funny. This is a truly awful TV special, which promised to bring you the viewing public 100 stars, and damn, they didn't deliver it. The stars didn't do anything, but they were there, all right? I'm sure they stretched it a little, was Ed Koch ever considered a star, but by the end of the show, 100 stars had paraded across the stage. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Tony Orlando, the announcer screamed, while Tony Orlando walked through the glittery curtain at Radio City Music Hall. A large 27 graphic filled the screen, and the applause had barely died down before the announcer called, "Joy Still Wit, Everyone, Joy Still Wit!" And the curtains parted, and Joy Still Wit waved, and a large number 28 filled the screen. Dually marched around the stage were A-list celebrities like Liz Taylor and the ancient Lillian Gish. B-level stars like Linda Gray and Charles Groden, and others like Lucy Arnez, Danielle Bresbault, and the aforementioned Ed Koch, who made you wonder when they ran out of stars. And we sat there and we watched, but we didn't watch the show. We were watching Art Lieberman, who was counting the stars. Yes, he was keeping count. Ladies and gentlemen, here is Nell Carter. That's 56, art screamed. Art tried to get us into a debate about whether or not Dick Clark and Ed McMahon should be counted as one or two since they were introduced together when the birthday boy made a reappearance and asked if we were going to have cake. Art jumped up to go to the kitchen, and we ran out of the room into Alex's bedroom, where he showed us, and this is in quotes you should see me air quoting, "An actual Star Wars movie prop. This is a present that Marvin gave him." It was a lumpy piece of pipe. It had threads on one end like it came from under a sink. It had a dent, a lump soldered onto the other end, and some paint flecks. What is it, Mark asked? That's a lightsaber, Alex said. No it isn't, I opined. Marvin went on to explain that he got it straight from a guy who got it from the set from some other guy, yada yada yada, and it looks better on camera. And anyway, it was his present to Alex, so say something nice. Nice old pipe, I said. Marvin was just as bad as Art Lieberman. Finally, ice cream cake time, in which Alex said it was nice to have all of his friends there. Again, it was one friend, his father, and two strangers, who weren't even with him all night. And he blew out the candles on the cake, which had pink frosted flowers, and the words "good luck" written on it. As we ate the cake, the night of 100 stars was still playing in the background, and Art was still counting. Look, that's Daniel J. Gervonti, 63. Take over, the night was through, and Art said that he'd love to have us over again, but they're moving to Hawaii in a few days. At this point, Mark and I would not have believed them if he told us that it was gravity that kept us on the ground. And he must have seen the look on our faces and quickly added, "Well, we're packing tomorrow." And that was it, I never saw the man again. This has been your New York Minute. That guy was crazy. Yeah. I was like, "Oh my God, it's so impressive, Barry. That's great. That's just really famous. Yeah. Well, for one part. I feel for that kid, honestly. Yeah. Like, you couldn't have friends consistently. You couldn't have them over at the house. There's a reason why that guy had one friend. One terrible, terrible friend. Well, it turned out to be a fantastic story, so I appreciate you doing that for us. Yeah. Good luck. Now you have a terrible friend and a pipe. Yeah, it looks much better on camera. Yeah. A lightsaber. That's so terrible. I thought it was from a friend and a guy, and he said, "It was really awesome." Man. He was just here. You totally just missed him. Yeah. Interestingly, well, I should say up front that you can find all of Barry's fantastic tales over at BMJ2K.com. Sometimes New York related sometimes. I was drinking from his mug today. Yes. I actually drink from his mug quite regularly. Mm-hmm. That's a good mug. Yeah. Many thanks for those. But did we ever tell him that we each have an individual mug and we never vary from that mug? Which mugs we specifically have. Yeah. I have the one that has the road sign, the highway sign, the green sign that says for New York. I've got the Saturday morning cartoon one. I have the movie Marquis. Of course. Yeah. It seems so perfect for all of us. I'm the only driver in the family. I should mention, though, as well, he mentions Mobster Mark. Yeah. Not too out-mark. But you can find he does music and some other items over at markbarnhill.com. Mm. You'll find that in the notes. It's Mark with a C. Very interesting. I should go look. Well, thanks for sharing that slice of your childhood with us. Absolutely. I guess not really. You're a teenage. You're a teen. Teen years. Yeah. Your formative years. Yeah. Yeah. Your party going days. Hey, guys. You know, something that's really horrible. What? Horrible history. Come from beyond to save us from our own past. Gibraltar has found only one solution to protect us. Here, now, is your horrible histories. Oh, no. You get back in there, and clean. No. I don't care. That smells like burnt-up or more for sonification. It's your fault to be in with. Yeah. It's our existence. I fell in monsters and I wasn't going to get into your horrible histories. Histoscope on. The Battle of Cape Santa Maria was a naval action that took place on the son and Portuguese coast in which a British squadron under the command of a Grand Morn attacked a Spanish squadron commanded by Brigadier Don Jose de Bautiste de Valvera in a time of peace without a declaration of war between the U.K. and Spain. Under the terms of a secret convention, Spain had to pay 72 million francs annually to France until it took place forward to Britain. The British, upon learning the treaty, knew it was likely that Spain would soon declare war after the arrival of their treasure ships. Since the British also knew that the Battle of the Fleet can only land its surtees in southern Spain, as well as its place and approximate time of departure from South America. It was not difficult to position the squad to intercept. Last Mante had set sail from the Moldaverte Uruguay on 9th August 1804, with four frigates that loaded this silver and gold, and was as well as the other guy in the cargo. In the 22nd of September, Vice-Emro Lord Collins would offer the Captain Graham Morn commanding the 44-gun Brigitte HMS Indefagable to intercept and detain the Spanish ships peacefully if possible, or ship arrived off Saturdays on 29th of September, and was joined on October 2nd by HMS Lively, HMS Medusa, and HMS Aparyon, the day out. In line of rest, they've patrolled the approaches to Saturdays. At dawn, on October 5th, French Frigates sailed off the coast of Portugal, 7 a.m., they sailed the four British frigates in Bustamante, ordered his ships on into the line of battle, and within the hour of the British on, came up in line with the word of the Spaniards and within business shop, Morn set in 10 a.m., asked God for the Spanish flagship Medilla to explain his orders. Mothane actually refused to surrender, and impatient with the ways at 10 a.m., Morn ordered a ship shot to be fired for the bounds of the Medilla. Almost immediately, a general exchange fire broke out, with in 10 minutes, magazines, as a Mercedes exploded destroying the capital ship, and killing all the 40 over 240 crores. Within half an hour of the Santa Carla and the Medilla had surrendered, as the Fama broke away at trying to flee. Medusa quickly followed, however, Morn ordered the faster Lively to pursue, capturing the Fama within the hour. Three frigates were taken to Gibraltar, then to Glassport, England. The section was considered an act of piracy, a tag at a time of peace, and a spatially carrying goods and civilian personnel. Spain declared war on Great Britain, on the 14th of December, 1804. In March 2007, at Florida-based company, Odyssey Marine Expreditions recovered 17 tons of coal and silver from the Mercedes, insisting it had been found on found in international waters, and therefore beyond legal jurisdiction to any one country. Spanish government branded the Odyssey team 21st Century pilot, and in May 2007, one of the legal proceedings arguing that the threat was protected by the suffered immunity, which prohibits the unauthorized disturbance and commercial exploitation of site-on naval vessels. In June 2009, federal court in Tampa found against Odyssey and/or the treasury returned to Spain, as it had to be done by February 25th, 2012. Histroscope grows dark and get my friends, and yes, I'm gay, male, it's not a box of it. Oh, it's a letter, from the Society of Chrono Engineers. It's a Cistloader order immediately on the Histroscope. Apparently they're sending men. Well, I can't look like we're about to start another madcap adventure. Yes, I know, then you took an elephant. Wow, that was a lot of treasure to bring up 17 tons of gold and silver. Yes, please. That would be so hard. That must be frustrating. I can see Spain's point, but they could have brought it up, couldn't they? Yeah, and you know, I'm sure this thing has happened before, and because it is in international waters, you are allowed to have it. Yeah, that's... I don't know. Anyways. On the other hand, Spain's probably looking for any change they can get at this point, considering they're coming. Well, Spain should have picked it up. It's... Yeah. Anyway, whatever. If I draw up a 20, and Spain feels like everyone's pain, but it's been there a long time, and they've done nothing about it. It would be very much like the Israeli government showing up at the end of the last crusade and being like, "Yeah, nice cup. Sorry." Yeah, exactly. And that's not fair to indie, okay? Well, I suppose... Yeah, exactly. I suppose the lesson here is be a treasure hunter, but be careful of that big score. Be a treasure hunter up to a point. Yeah, or don't publicize it. Be a treasure hunter, but be independently wealthy. But remember to pay the people who make the decisions. No wait, that's bribery. Yeah. Man, 17... Moving on. I understand their desire to want to maintain the sort of historical integrity because it's probably worth a lot more like that. But if they had just pulled up 17 tons of gold and melted it down and told no one, and just been like, "Okay, I need to sell a pound of gold every now and then to keep things going." Spain hadn't heard about it. Yeah. I don't know, dude, what else. But interesting story. Thank you. Yeah, we'll definitely send the legal team in. I believe that despite possible licensing issues, I think that he is operating under proper, more or less. It's within Skinnakos bylaws. Yeah. So I think that, you know, we'll get the legal team down there, don't panic. You may want to go and hide in briefly, because those guys can be a little slow. How do you hide the histoscope? Because I was informed when we build the big mobster house in the future, you know, where people will come and visit and stuff, he told me that I had to alter the plans because he needs to have a large entrance and exit for the histoscope, because it goes where he goes. I just don't know how that thing moves. It's interesting. I wonder if there's like a cloaking device, like the TARDIS or something? I don't know. I think we need diagrams. Yeah, I think, yeah, he needs to delve into this further for us. There's so many questions. I got to be honest, I believe I signed off on something at some point, but I got a lot in front of me these days, so. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff he signed, a lot of checks, prints. It may have a mobile capability, I can't quite recall. I think that's a trade secret anyways. Yeah, we got to actually start making some money on these time traveling to it. Anyway. Yeah. I love that pirate. Yeah. Speaking of naval incidents. I love that pirate. Mm-hmm. You know, if he took down the head ship, he wouldn't leave anybody. Yeah. In that last story, they left like 40 out of 200. Yeah. The captain, he'd suck all the life out of that ship. Frankly, if the captain had taken out that ship, he wouldn't have left 17 tons of gold on the bottom of the infantry. Yeah, he would have gotten them drunk, like William Powell got them stoned, and he would have taken the loot along before it hit the bottom. That's right. Why would you, why do you attack something that floats in the water when you want to have the heavy stuff in the boat? Anyways, that's another question for another time. Mm-hmm. Well, I think most pirates aren't, this was a naval warfare sort of situation, right? This wasn't just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Funny though, J.R.D. You know what is funny though, Jessica May? The captain. If you love a good tail and the splash of a salty brine on your face, then prepare yourself for the adventurous expulsions of Captain Ignatius Pecat. Gah. Me britches are stained with a love juice of an impudent mermaid. To us but four moons ago. We were sailing north beyond the dire straits, escaped from the British and their monkey-long reach. Ah. To his night and the waves were murky, slapping the ship like an idle seaman. There was but me and no hands make upon the deck, swinging the last of Admiral Nihorn's finest malt whisky. We were about to toss the bottle overboard when we heard a sound. A chilling sound, and the sort she never wants to hear, the sort so terrifying it makes your blood freeze and your eyes pop out on icicles. Gah. Old Mick knew it right away. Twas the call of a young and fertile mermaid. We peered over the side, and there, stranded on a tiny reef, was a buxom merwench, wailing for gentlemanly assistance. Being gentle as what we are, we let to our aid. I jumped from the boughs and missed the blessed reef. It is good that I did, for Mick did not, and he broke both his legs, for the deck was high up and the rock's down low. Haha. Twas my lucky night. The young merla seemed surprised by Mick's wailing, so I swam to her, and began a soft croon into soother, like so. Ah. Now this she liked, I tell ya, and she turned her beauty upon me. Meet Blackheart, Nilly broke through me ribs to reach her first. Glad I was of the padlock upon me ribcage, firmly a fixer, not nine years before by the King of Tarsus, a fine but somewhat jealous fellow with his daughters and wives. But that be a tale for another time. Ah, she was radiant fair. Her long hair, silver by the moonlight, her arms drape shyly over her bounteous bosoms. Ah, and the most splendidly scaled tale I ever did lay eyes upon, me own aura and others. Her tales swish seductive like, splash in poor Mick with salty water. Twas love it for a sight. She flocked towards me, her fishy nether's dragging across the reef, an eye to her, me arms in welcome, and me britches at half mast. Ah, and she was an enthusiast for the old sea dogs, I tell ya, she was fine and fishy. We lay together in the pale moonlight until twas nearly dawn, an old Mick had finally passed out from the pain. I saw that she meant to leave me, and I knew I could not but let her go, but that's the way of the ocean. Me heart sank as she dived beneath the waves, her saucy tale flapping away. I followed her with me eyes, well, me eye, and at the very edge of me sight, she turned and tossed herself out with the water, and the rising sun caught her all up the scales, and she glowed like a big golden fish, and then she was gone. I dragged no hands Mick back upon the ship, and we went on our way. On a quiet moony night, I fancy I can catch a whiff of that fine, mackereline sentin' me nostrils, and can almost feel her cold, slippery fins about me thighs. It is hard to bring me self to wash these britches, 'tis all I have left. She was half fish, but all woman. I love that, oh, that was so good, is that where that fishy smell is coming from? Oh, good, that is so good. We finally had a chance to watch the first of the second season of Shrewlock, and I'm quite tempted to somehow integrate his crooning into my texting scenario. I love that he just spent all night with the mermaid, well, no hands Mick was like wailing and paying until he finally passed out of the wreath, I don't know. That's great. Yeah, not the gentlest of sea folk, but gentle is what they be, yes apparently. Thank you Captain. Seriously though, go wash your pants, and seriously don't ever stop sending us stories so good. Well, we just had a mere taste of the captain, but if you'd like to read some more of his stories in text, you can go to captainpaycart.com. Thanks Captain, guess what? I believe Nuddy went on a little bit of a flashpulp flashcast binge recently. That's right, actually, she wrote in, she said, "I just binged on flashpulp content again, and a few things. I loved the story by a three day fish, that was really cool." I agree. Flashcast, the New York minute, I feel like New York radio culture is different than other places, where it's not just the hosts that become local celebrities, but the frequent callers too. I think that's why I like podcasts so much, especially a podcast like flashpulp, thank you! The listeners can become as known as the hosts, that's right Nuddy! Also, New York has a lot more talk radio than anywhere else, though Canada is blessed with the CBC, other than that, perhaps some community radio, sorry, other than that and perhaps some community radio, there isn't that much talk radio, that's true, but we get people like little greens. I have to tell you about, I grew up in a very small town, as I've mentioned previously. During my earlier high school years, grade eight, career day, did you guys do one of those, follow somebody around for a day, see what their job is? Well, no, we went to like a jobs fair thing. That's crazy, see, we had this very small town, right, so that wasn't, basically, it was almost like following your parent to work day, except you could reach out to somebody in the community if you wanted to, and followed them to work essentially. So, I followed a lady from the local newspaper. Oh, that's super cool. It was up my alley, it was what I was interested in doing at the time. Right, it's going to be a journalist, and what interestingly kind of ended up happening is, well, she had me write a quote unquote, write a story for her, but it was essentially about what the other grade eights did for their individual career days, so it was, most of it was pretty mundane, you know, people just working in shops or whatnot, but we went to the local radio station because one of my friends was following around the local DJ, and I had never met this guy, but his voice had filled every morning of my life up until that point, like he was the local radio guy, you know what I mean? And we went into his little booth. I knew where the station was, I'd always seen it, we'd, we often drove past it, but I had never kind of considered what the interior of it would look like, and it's really the only professional radio station I've ever been in. It was a nice enough place, but the man, I don't even know really how to begin to describe it, he was kind of a mutant, he was just sort of, I don't, oh yes, he had a perfect radio voice in my opinion, but the body of a mutant, yeah, it's hard, I don't want to make fun of a man with physical deformities, but no, yeah, no, he wasn't Nightcrawler, he, I'm just saying that he would have made out well playing the "assistant to Frankenstein" in any film. Wow. That sort of... Maybe that's why he's in radio. Well, yeah, he absolutely had a face with radio as the old gag goes. Anyhow, sorry, you were saying? So she goes on to say that "baconase sounds so icky to me." Yeah, okay, wait, on his pole, Jessica May, since the baconase incident have you had any more baconase? I never even tried the baconase. Yeah. Okay. I had it once more, and it was actually not bad, but the thought of it really kind of grossed me out. I think it is at a level of, and I look at the ingredients, and I don't see anything extremely chemical, but it, in my mind... Bacon should not be in a spread. I'm sure if this is something that like we started the kids on, like I did with ketchup, then it wouldn't be a staple. I just can't help but think that crude oil goes into the creation process at some point. I mean, there's some sort of velveeta-y chemical action going on there. Yeah, well, you'll eat velveeta, but I was introduced to it as a child, and I'm okay. We should talk about the velveeta debate in our family that's gone for lots 12 years. Velveeta is the rich man's craft dinner. Which is bullshit because craft dinner is so good and is on such a higher grander scale than the velveeta. Velveeta is like oil in a bag. At least you have milk and butter with the craft dinner. Who has oil? Rich people. Texas Tea. Anyway, she goes on to say that it's a cool story about the guys who invented bacon maize, and also as someone trying to avoid processed foods where she can. Yeah, yeah, we're in that same... She can't think she will go for a simulated flavor in anything but her soda. Mmm. Oh, more great. I think Tibi got a soda stream. Yes. On the soda stream topic, she says "Dr. Pete equals Dr. Pepper." So just add a shot of cherry juice and you have cherry Dr. Pepper. Sounds really good. I'm still trying to convince J.M.A. to buy the soda stream. I've been drinking just water or trying to do that. Sometimes I have some chocolate milk in the evenings. I've just stopped drinking. I'm slowly shriveling up. Yeah. Like your daughter. You're both made of sand. That's right. Switching gender and sexual orientation randomly. I have witnessed this, though it was with an intersected consumer from a group home I worked in. I totally took that as a conversational introduction, like just switching things randomly. Okay, sorry. She says it was odd for a lot of the staff when they first started, but it seemed natural after two days of working with him. I could definitely see how that would be a confusing experience. Mm-hmm. Colorado Joe, thank you for the name of that story. I never would have guessed that. Still need to re-listen to the cast to get the name right again. You know, that's one of those things where it's just tantalizing enough. I don't quite know what she's talking about, but I really want to know. Okay, back to the last flash clip. Yeah, I'm sure you could probably listen to the last flash clip. She has a newbo hobo setting up shop in front of her BMO, too. I wonder if it's a thing, she says. Just like our newbo hobo. Yeah. And that's that term. Thank you. It's great. Perhaps it's a people who've been turned out of their homes, so sort of passive. Occupied. Her destiny. BMO. Yeah. She loves a Captain Pickhart segment, and she says that I should have read it in his accent. I could not do his accent justice. Yeah, I think we've all shy away from pirate accents due to quality. Of course. How could we possibly ever compare? And lastly, how much do we all love labcat? Oh yeah, there's been purring now. So thanks for sending in your comment, Nettie. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you can leave comments on the mob, on Facebook, or leave them at comments@flashball.com. Or you can leave us an audio comment. We really like it when we can hear those MP3s. Yeah, absolutely. Although, we totally understand that sometimes, you know, you're in a meeting and you're thumb typing, you're listening on a Bluetooth earbud. Yeah. Yeah. No doubt. No doubt. However you want to communicate, we'd much prefer that you do it. Mm-hmm. But if you want to make me really happy, semaphore, we really like semaphore. So I think we have a call from Rich, our favorite time traveler in front of all. Mm-hmm. We don't play favorites. Hello, Flashpope crew and fellow mobsters. Rich the time traveler here. In the last flashcast, J.R.D. was saying he didn't watch the Simpsons anymore. I still do, and it's odd to think that something I started watching as vignettes on the Tracy Oldman show as a freshman in college is still going strong as his own show. Though deep down inside, I wonder if Matt Groening is just laughing at us all, laughing at us all the way to the bank. You'll also compare Ruby's diary with Diary of a Empy Kid, which is worth a chuckle since the kids are both reading those, along with the big nate books, which are a similar style. I seriously think releasing a Ruby diary like that would be awesome. I also think the Bacon A's tasting warranted a video podcast. We really need to see reaction shots of the tastings. And since this is the culinary section of my comments, on Peanut Butter, all natural, smooth texture please. Colorado Joe talked about how homogenized our accents are in the States compared to the UK. Accent Stasis would be highly related to mobility, and mobility is something we prize in this country. Sure there are places where people do not really come and go a lot, but I guess in the macro scale we have a lot more population movement, especially back in the early stages of our country's existence. But differences are still there. I'll point you to the Dialect map I posted quite a while back in the mob, along the YouTube clips of the Coastal Dialect from North Carolina. I don't think I just think that the Dialect differences just aren't celebrated in the media these days. And the actors and news personalities tend to cultivate a neutral Dialect as well. On the fiction front, I just finished off the novel "Alice in Dead then" by Manac Dar, hopefully I'm pronouncing his name correctly there. It's a self-published title that is available on Amazon for Kindle for 99 cents right now. It is another zombie novel in case that wasn't clear from the title. I really liked this one. It took some interesting new partials from the zombie genre and took a few chances. Some paid off and others didn't. It's the story of a young survivor named Alice, who one day on sniper duty, ends up falling down a hole into the underground world of the zombies that he calls "biters". Now I said this one isn't without his problems. The author is prone to some repetitive phrasing, and some places the prose is a bit stiff. Those are forgivable. Still forgivable but a little more glaring is how he handles action. In a few of the combat or fight scenes, it feels like he wasn't sure how to choreograph it, or bring it to an end, so he has something happen and skips to the end and describes the results. There are also some places where he could have fleshed out some more of the backstory details, or introduces a new character very suddenly and doesn't seem to work as smoothly as it could. What does work is the vibe he sets. It actually reminds me a lot of the original Dune, at least enough since we were talking about that last time. It also evokes a bit of a World War Z feel, even though this isn't a memoir type tale. All in all, if you like zombie stories, I say this is a 4 out of 5 brainer. It turns things around and shows a lot of promise. I'll definitely check out the sequel, through the killing glass at some point. To return to things flashpulp, I just finished the Ruby Arc. Nice work, well-placed, placed, and good cliffhangers. I was left with a question of whether the wanderers were the remains of Occupy Wall Street protesters after describing their hierarchy and decision-making. I think I may go back and re-listen to the whole arc again shortly. I'm looking forward to Bryant Johnson's guest episode coming up. So that makes the third contributor from North Carolina, huh? This turns someone calling me, I got to go. Captain Ahab seems to have spotted the Great White Episode 200 on the horizon and they're calling me in to work the harpoon. Tukhara crisis, this is rich. Are you sure implying that I'm interjecting politics into my tales? I would hope so. Yeah. Thank you for the kind words. I really feel lately like getting back into the Simpsons. I think I may throw it on the PVA or start sampling. I think you should. I think part of it really is that there was a time when it was on at a very convenient part of my day. Yeah. And now there's no convenient part of your day. So you need it on the PVR and you need to watch it at some obscure time. Yeah. You're like, "I'm doing this and this, but I can put 2% of my brain into this." Yeah, that's okay. Anyways, I don't mean to complain. Our life is awesome. Yeah. Great points about dialect. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'd be interested in seeing that dialect map. Can I put trout? Yeah. It was up in the mob. Anyway. No, I must not have seen that. He touches on the videos he posted about backwater dialect. I'm trying to remember the exact North Carolina Cajun-y thing. I'm sorry. It slips my mind a little bit. But... See, what I do remember is his map or discussions of variants of barbecue sauces. See, when we talk about dialect, it completely goes in my ear and out the other. When he mentioned that, it reminded me, well, he was mentioning how more mobility has led to a homogenized accent, to a certain extent, at least. But the thing is that people, obviously people of lesser means, are the people with less mobility. And I think that's exactly why, quote-unquote, "backwaters" maintain their accents. Mm-hmm. And how, you know, not... You may not be going to school. You may... The people who you come in contact with all have that same sort of style of speech. Mm-hmm. So you've got these... You're not necessarily traveling to the city. These pools of heavily accented folk who probably don't range terribly far from their homestead through the entirety of their lives. Mm-hmm. And it's the same in Canada. It's kind of cool because it's like a snapshot into history. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Living history. I really enjoy the brain reading system. I think I've mentioned that before. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Especially for zombie books. That's great. Mm-hmm. Yes. 200 in Ruby. Well, first, let's move into... Backroom plots. So I've had a lot of positive feedback about this Ruby 6-parter. Mm-hmm. I think a lot of people waited till everything was out or most of the other day was out. I know, and I like instant gratification, so... I had to wait many days for you to tell me how good I did. I really enjoy, actually, those who do go through the cliffhangers as they're released often get really frantic about it, and I really find that satisfying. That is so much fun. I'm glad that there's a variety. I'm like that, totally. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She'll basically... I'm like one of those rats in the trap that would just keep pushing the button for the food. Yeah. You know they're getting shocked? Yeah. Yeah. That's me. No. We'll be ready to watch a new episode of something, and she'll know everything about all the way up to costume design before about to watch it. She must soak in everything without actually, you know, watching. She'll listen to reviews, but not like, recaps. Mm-hmm. There's lines with her where she thinks it's okay. Yeah. If I could flip to the end of like a TV series and watch that, I probably would, in most cases. Like the end of the book? Yeah. I always read the ends of books first. Well... I'm such a bad person. It's interesting that you say that, because you know 200 is coming out on Friday. And I know what happens in it, too. Yeah. Yeah. Well, in that sense, you know that in a weird way it is flipping to the end of the book. Do you think people are going to like hunt us down and try to hurt us? No. Because I think this is the earliest I've ever had one of your scripts ever. Yeah. Well, people have never had to wait for an episode this long either. No, but... So that's not really a badged away. I mean, it's having this much time building up to... To ruminate it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I know it's going to happen, but I can't talk about it. And I'm just holding it in. I'm holding it in. There are things to get arranged still, but it should be out on Friday, Saturday at the very latest. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's a lot of post-MFers and you need to give us some time. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're talking... We're pulling a Johnson here for the frog pants fans. I don't know what I'm talking about. Let's shuffle along, but 200 is coming. Yes. Like winter. Yeah. But to get back to the Ruby 6 better, we just finished. I'm really pleased that people liked it. I'm going to say, I think it's kind of obvious from this 6-biter that Ruby's moving in a more... I mean, political necessarily in that it's reflecting current politics, but that there are going to be a clash of... She is becoming influence in her world. Mm-hmm. So how are the two groups, or really, if you think about it, sort of the three groups, come together? Mm-hmm. The parkers are oddly all weirdly in play at the moment with their own little problems and issues. Anyway. I'm going to say, and I was telling this to J.R.D., I was like, "No, you can't kill Olivia! No, I don't live here!" 'Cause... Yeah, no spoilers. No spoilers. But yeah. It hurt me. It was the name. Yeah. Well, I have to be careful because, yes, we know in Olivia now, but I in no way intend to be in a lot. We have a contributor named Olivia. Okay. They're not the same. Yeah. That's right. We can't kill off Olivia. They're not the same Olivia. Yeah. I can't associate the two. Something I wanted to mention, yeah. Well, I'll try not to... Oh, man, guys. Anyway, something I wanted to discuss. I think one of the things I have to consider when we're doing a Ruby story is how the zombie killing works out over the pieces. And I don't... I think we've discussed sort of the Conan the Barbarian problem in the past, where when the Conan comics especially started, he would be like swordfighting one guy for everything was like a million dudes. Yeah, eventually because they ran for so long, it would be like two dudes and then to overcome what's cooler than two dudes fighting three dudes. Yeah. So... There's always that issue. It's ten. She killed five zombies. Yeah, exactly. You got to be careful if not laying on the action sequences. Yeah, and it can't just be like, and then she killed the zombie. And the next time. I like how you can kill the zombie. And then she killed the zombie. Some be a little personality. Yeah. You know, and what they're wearing. She takes the observations of, "Hey, that guy looked like he would've had a nice smile." You know? Yeah, well Ruby's, you know... She's able to keep her wits about her despite the situation. She's able to keep her humanity. Yeah. Yeah. It's not just like this monster coming out of her. She's aware that this was at one point. Was a person. Yeah. Yeah. But it put me in mind, actually, because the other thing we've been doing occasionally is watching a Star Trek episode from the past here and there. And do you remember back in the day, okay, I may get my terminology wrong and for you hardcore people, I apologize if I do. Do you guys remember, in next generation, I believe the ship was supposed to be capable of going warp nine, but only like an extreme? Yes. When it was highly necessary. When it was an emergency and it would always be like, "Shaking the ship apart." But then as time went on, they'd have to be, I seem to recall them getting maybe up to warp 11 at points. Really? Like, just always pushing it a little further, yeah, that seems. And then they... Bring it up to 11. I could be wrong and feel free somebody to write in and correct me, but then eventually they did, and I do know this part to be correct, bring in a cap, do you remember that? They became this little minor political situation where they couldn't go over warp three because it was destroying space. Oh! No. No idea. It was supposed to be, you know, every now and then they would, you know, pop the cherries and just gun it over to warp six or whatever, and that was supposed to be exciting again. The reason I mention it, I guess, is just because there are certain ticks that it's easy to fall into with Ruby that I really try to avoid as much as possible. Like the... Like warp 11. Yeah. The warp 11. Oh! Wait a minute. I have to stop because I hear something over there. Something extremely dangerous. Anyway, I'm glad to hear the people who've been enjoying it anyhow. Mm-hmm. Yes. As you hopefully have been hearing, uh... As I believe Jessica Maywell later underneath us, I've been listening to a lot of Tom Waits just get behind the mule while writing lately. You guys familiar with the- Yeah, you, uh, you sent that to me. You haven't showed it to me lack of love. Definitely put me in mind of a gritty sort of unpleasant viewpoint for Ruby. Mm-hmm. So it looks like someone just playing in the living room. It's nice. Mm-hmm. Uh, that was actually a tip from Amy, our own Amy. Oh, thank you. And a fantastic one, might I add. Mm-hmm. They always are. Mm-hmm. The R-O-N-R-A-S-O. So episode 200's coming up, so I guess I gotta finish my project. Mm-hmm. You've been getting it together a little bit, though? Yeah, I've been trying to work on it. Because, uh, you know, everything's always hard because we're always busy. Well, mind over matter. She's worried about messing it up, so she's having trouble staring. Yeah, you know, when I work in Photoshop, I can always hit the undo button. Can't do that with Project 200. Yeah, this is interesting in that sense. Yeah. And I know, uh, there have been some photos leaked out onto the intertubes of it. Oh, it's so minor. I don't know. Not just you. I've put some things out. Oh, okay. On my, uh... On your Instagram feed. Oh, wait. Let's take a quick roll call if people want to find you on Twitter. Uh, Opoponax with a zero? Yes. Yes. On Twitter, it is with a zero, but on Instagram, it's with a no. There you go. I'm, uh, changeable like that, I'll, I'll, I'll turn on you. On your... What? I'll come at you with a knife in the dark. I am the Jessica May on Twitter, if you want to come find me. Not Jessica May. The Jessica May. The Jessica May. There are other Jessica Mays, but she is the only the Jessica May. And I'm at, uh, Charity Skinner. Mm-hmm. Anyway, sorry. Continue. Oh, just, uh, there have been a couple photos here and there, little teasers out there. I think it's looking pretty amazing. Yeah. It's going along. I'm just... I'm curious. I'm curious. We're going to display it to the mob. Yes. That's what I want to know. Yeah. Because it is not... We'll have everyone come over. Yeah. We'll look at it. Yeah. We'll put it in the mob host. I think if we were to set up some sort of white-backed display, we might be able to get some very neat kind of pictures. Yeah. And maybe. It's very much in that sort of flat style, I don't want to say south part because it's obviously not south part, but it's in that cardboard motif. And I think if we did the photos in the right way, it would come across. With a decent camera that we do have access to, so... How old? Because it's not like a standard kind of... It's not like a computer file here. It's a... It's... It's a physical object. Yes. It's an object. It is a sculptor of sort. Oh, that reminds me, speaking of art. Not to step on your moment, but with some fantastic art from Jeremiah Elkins that I really need to get up for as a mob, I wanted to see. I want to see that... I've been bucking you forever to show me that black hole picture. Yeah, he did it. You like flashed it to me for like two seconds. I don't even know how long ago, and I've been begging you for another glimpse since. I once spent a night in the can for flashing the black hole. Yeah. That's sweet. [laughter] Are you a dassy off-home? 200. Well, I can assume that you would gather that it's some sort of melodic... Yeah, musical song. It's a musical that Demi has indeed. In fact, 200 is going to be a musical. I wrote a three-page essay and... Oh, man. A flashpult musical. You got to get on that, Jessica May. Oh, God. You should hear all the crap he wants me to do. You want me to write new song intros for each of the serials? What? He's insane. Anyways, episode 200. I did a lot of work on it a while ago, and I've done nothing since, but I'm really ready to go because I practice it a lot, so like, you know, professionals just, it's like riding a bike. Okay, guys. I think you're more prepared than either of us. Yeah, I totally am. Mind you, I should. What do you mean I'm nearly... I'm really done. I mean, I got to wrangle some, oh, I can't get way to stay tuned. Yeah, there's so many things you have to do. She is so much more ahead than either of us. So yes, I really should be recording it because there's lots of doohickey's I'd like to put on it, so I really should get to that. But then there's this other thing, see? Because a mobster actually asked me to play a song or two, like, in front of a live audience. So I've been trying to work on that, but now I'm really certain that I can't do it, and then I shouldn't even try, and I'm very afraid that it's just going to be Black Luster. You're going to be doing it, right? I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. You're still going to be doing it. Oh, I can't stand it. I want to not hate it. I mean, I love it. You're fantastic. It'll be fantastic. Okay. Okay. Anyways, if anybody wants some deets, come along with us. Okay, we know. June, some rather, six-ish. Feels like it. Let's just make it a June, six-ish. So, yeah. That's what's up with me. I do a lot of prep for the show. I could do a lot of things, but it's just not mentionables to you, you know? She works her butt off at an end. I do. Okay. I do. Okay. Well, thank you for your efforts, Jessica, man. Oh, you're welcome. I'm just glad to do it. I am. Really? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For hosting wiki.flashbop.com and flashbop.com. Enjoy the show. Tell a friend. Really enjoy the show. We've got to donate button on the site. A few comments, questions, or suggestions, you can find us at flashbop.com or email us text her in p3s to comments@flashbop.com or search for the flash mob on Facebook. Mm-hmm. It's so much fun. Jessica, may as vocal talents and musical stylers can be found at maytunes.com. Yeah. The entire run of flashbop can be found at flashbop.com or be at the search bar. On iTunes. Not quite true, actually. We need to put the RSS feed more prominently up because, unfortunately, iTunes is cutting us off now. Anyhow. Yeah, the backlog. It has 300 or two listed, but we've gone so far now. Oh, so people want to comment here in number one, they can't. We need to deal with that, but anyway, that's a side issue. They can go to the wiki. Yeah, well. They can go to the site, the RSS feed, skinner.liveson.com/rss. Okay, look at that too. Hi. Flashgast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution controversial 2.5 license. [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [SINGING] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] me boys I know they come looking for me got to keep behind me yeah and I'm on an implant and keep behind me and I'm on an implant get behind me and I'm on an implant big jack girl was eight foot one and he stood in the road and he cried he couldn't make a love him he couldn't make a stick tell the good lord that he tried to get behind me yeah and I'm on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant dust a tray of ashes and the flies are built on the rack of the weaverville stage beautified beauty for a lemonade I was stirring my brandy with a nail boys stirring my brandy with a nail got to get behind me you're on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant get behind him you're on an implant [Music] the rampages sons of the witter James Jack the cuddle and the black market they had to stand naked at the bottom of the cross tell the good lord what they did tell the good lord what they did you got to get behind him you're on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant get behind him you're on an implant you're on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant get behind him you're on an implant then you're here to the wisdom post in your eye to the line never let the weeds get higher than the garden always keep the sapphire in your mind always keep the diamond in your mind you got to get behind him you're on an implant got to get behind him you're on an implant you got to get behind him you're on an implant [Music] [Music] [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]