Prepare yourself for: Coffin in Vienna, Russian munchies, DeathRay, the Sacred Band, and a box of candy.
Read the full notes at http://flashpulp.com
The Skinner Co. Network
FC56 - Lesbian Covers
[music] Hello, and welcome to Flashcast 56, a Skinner Co presentation. Skinner Co, not your grandfather's international mega corporation. Prepare yourself for Coffin Indiana, Russian Munchies, Death Ray, the Sacred Band, and a box of candy. [music] Hi, I'm Opopanex, and if I'm infected with some sort of airborne flesh-eating disease, I'm close enough that I've likely already spread it to Jessica May, my flash, and JRD. Hello. I hope you didn't like that skin. Total right turn, I wanted to discuss something up front before we get into the main body of the popular press. We had a... I like that you segued from the flesh-eating disease to the getting right into the body of... Getting right into the body. Yeah, that was great. The infected body. One of the mobsters who wishes to remain anonymous due to the content of the topic, sent along a link to RetroNot.co, I guess we call that. There's a gallery of lesbian pulp fiction from 1935 to 1958. Yes, I've actually seen this. This is one of those things that is going to end up posted in the show notes, so if you want to check it out. I thought lesbianism was a fad that's just like, come across us now. Well, actually, that's sort of what I wanted to discuss just really quickly. Really? I can see why. I've long made this argument, right, that pulp is reflective of sort of the back brain of pop culture, right? Of like mainstream culture. So my feeling is that a lot of the times things that get vetted through pulp or pop culture are things that eventually become mainstream. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, generational taboos. Let's... Yeah, that's how we address them, right? We address them by poking fun at them or... The L word? That show in each one. Yeah. Yeah, very, you know... I don't know. I can't help but think of that one. There's that music video, I can't remember what the girl's name was, but she was like this British school girl and the entire video was just her making out with some other chick in the room. Oh, the Russian ladies. Were they Russian? I think they were British. Maybe. Tattoo? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's it. Tattoo. T-A-T-U. Yeah, something like that. Oh, geez. Yeah. I remember what a stink there was. I'd rather there would be lesbians than no lesbians. That's true. Yeah. But it would be nice to have a proper representation of a real lesbian. But yeah. Yeah, they cast the waters though. They cast the waters though. Yeah, they cast the waters though. They cast the waters. Exactly. Exactly, yeah. Without something like, say, The Lion House, which is a book, cover is also in that article. Without something like that, they wouldn't have music videos and HBO shows. Now, I could be wrong, but am I right in remembering that The Lion House was actually written by Marion Zimmer Bradley, but under a pseudonym? That does ring a bell, although I'm not 100% sure. I've actually tried to get a copy of that book. It sounds pretty fun. I think it's available for Kobo. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. That's on my list to read. So while I was thinking about this item that was sent along, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but recently while putting out the submission calls in the mob on Facebook, I've been accompanying it with a World War I or World War II era. Yes. And Lisbon poster. We want you. Yeah. General propaganda poster. Yeah. Oh, remember that one that you came out with that I told you was too racist? Oh, yeah. And you put out a warning. Yeah. Well, but the thing is they look like giant monsters. You're like, what? Hitler's there, too. Well, that was my point, though, is that so many of those posters take pulp elements, and that's how they present something that is a very serious, literally life and death topic. And we're presenting it like that poster is Hitler melded to Hirohito, and then they're attacking, like, New York, and they're the size of King Kong or something. Yeah, they're giants. Yeah. It's obviously like a reference to King Kong. Not King Kong, Godzilla. Well, no, Godzilla wasn't out at that point. Really? Oh, I guess, hey? So, but yeah, and there was another poster I posted up. It was a Canadian enlistment poster. And it was a fellow for the motorcycle, some sort of motorcycle corps. Really? And he-- Yeah, motorcycle corps? Mm-hmm, absolutely. And he's sort of jumping, you know, he's got his front end up. He's kind of popping a wheelie or whatever. He's around, like, easy ride or time or something? No, this is World War II. Oh, sorry, sorry. But, yeah, he's doing acid. Yeah. No, he's kind of doing this jump, and then behind him is an image of a knight riding a horse. Kind of in the same position. Oh, wow! That's cute. But it's very kind of of that pulp, and it's drawn in that sort of painted style that all the pulp covers are done into. And it's just interesting that it kind of covers both ends. It leads people into topics, and it also sort of helps clear our mental junk drawer. Yeah, you should post some of those on the mob. It also shows, like, what was really galliant and, yeah, at the time. True. Yeah, it does kind of reflect our ideals. People strive to be, like, knights back then, where people now, you know? Yeah, I think there was definitely an influence there, because I always came across the term knight to the air in relation to World War I era pilots, specifically. And I don't know if it was because they were sort of in these rickety lone craft and, you know, kind of flying their mounts or whatever, often with pretty measly defense or weapons. So I don't know. I've never come across that term, but it certainly got the romanticism that I link with World War II. With a very, well, that was World War I. Sorry, yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it's also easier to look at the air battles in World War I or lack of air battles, really, because generally, it was just pilots flying past each other and waving. But you can look at that and feel a little better than maybe the death in the trenches, which was pretty unpleasant and not without a lot of glory to it. Yeah. He's very moist. Very trench footy. Very. No one wants to die with a sore on their foot. Like, that's just, anyway, or die from a sore on their foot, where every step is just like outer terror, but you're also having to, like, battle life and death. Yeah. I want it to end this with a bit of another turn before we get into the popular dress. I hope it's a more positive turn. Absolutely it is. Okay. Because I thought it'd bring us back up to a happier note. I wanted to ask our American, and I mean, further out friends, if you'd like to chime in. International. There is a childhood theme, a childhood jingle, that a certain segment of the population is immediately going to recognize once Jessica starts flying it. But at the same time, I wonder, I'm just wondering really how far out in the world this song made it, because this is a staple of all of our youth, I know. Why do you think your mommy or daddy are always telling you, don't put that in your mouth? Let's find out. Hi, kid. Why are we on television anyway? We're here to tell a little story about why you shouldn't put things into your mouth when you don't know what they are, and why you should never take anything a stranger tries to give you. Why? Because if you ate somebody else's medicine, some bad food, or some poison, you could get very sick. Yeah. I want to be sick. And that's why before you eat anything, you should always ask someone you love if it's okay. Okay. I love you. Can I eat the guitar? No. But you can help me sing a song about eating things that don't belong inside you. Okay. I wasn't really hungry anyway. Well, wait. Maybe a little bit. Okay. Everybody. Hey, before you do anything, remember this song. Don't you put it in your mouth? Don't you put it in your mouth? Don't you stop it in your face? Don't stop it in your face? So it might look good to eat. Don't it might look good to eat? And it might look good to taste? And it might look good to taste? It might look good to taste? It might look good to taste. You could get sick. Yeah. Real quick. Yeah. Real sick. Real. Yeah. Don't you put it in your mouth? Uh-uh. Okay. Don't you put it in your mouth? I'll put my breath. We'll be wrapping up the Hunger Games book club at the end of the show. Indeed. That's what I hear. Or so I have been told. We're so ready for that, yes. But I wanted to mention something that basically up front disturbs me. I have to admit. Uh-oh. Disturbing you is quite difficult, actually. Especially when you disturb who went front. Not to my attention by our own apope. Really? Apparently they're making a new thin man film? Oh, yes. With Johnny Depp? Yes. That is so insane. And end. Kristen Wiig. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Holy crap. That is so great. It could be, but listen, I'm looking at the new Dark Shadows trailer. They're also going to be Kerri Mulligan. What does that even have to do with a thin man and Kristen Wiig and Johnny Depp? We're going to be cold. Possibly Kerri Mulligan. That would also be good. I just don't know why Johnny Depp's been hanging out with the Olsen twin. What, really? Yeah. Yeah. Like, hanging out in her apartment for like 24 hours trying to stay away from the property. I depend on you for all my celebrity news. Which Olsen twin? You're like my own tabloid. What? She's never going to act again. Really? Why? Because she's into so many other things. Because she has so much money, she never has to be thinking, I guess. She wants to do what she wants to do, which is exactly what I would do. Yeah. That's true. But it would be like artistic and much both be. Yeah. That's a thing. What you would want to do. A lot. Is what you're doing. Exactly. Yeah. But Ashley Olsen, unfortunately for years and years, was forced into child labor. So it's now free to do what she wants. Which is what? Humour me. A huge difference between the two is like Mary Kate, the business headed one, and Ashley is the artist. That'd be weird, eh? Are they like essentially the same person? I actually think that they're not the same person. So they might have individual characteristics. No, no. But I mean, is there some smack? Are we eventually going to get the Citizen Kane where it's, you know, Ashley and Mary Kate and... Yeah, right. It'll be like... One of them always just wanted to get a farm and raise lamb. Wait. I think they did that movie. Then they have that brand new sister who's doing the acting now, so they don't need to do the acting. There's another sister? Yeah. A triplet? Yeah, they just burst her outside. They just didn't have to tell anybody about that one. Yeah, I don't remember her other name. Her name? The Jolson, but she was in Silent House, I believe it's called. It's a horror film. Sounds good. It's already come out recently, and it's very quiet, and I hear. It's very calm. It's very peaceful. Anyways, I don't know really what's going on with the Jolson, but Johnnie Depp was hanging out with him, and he's going to be doing this in man series. Is it the same Olsen that was hanging out with Heath Ledger? Oh, no. I really do think that was Mary Kate. It's the other Olsen. Yeah. Oh, so if Johnnie Depp dies, then we have a real-- They have friends that are different. --possible murder. Murder. Murder. Secret door. Secret. Murder. I really don't know how I feel about this, because now--okay, here's what's happened. We started off with this idea that we're going to remake everything out of nostalgia. If only they could resurrect William Powell. We went in, and for some reason we did all of these '60s and '70s movies over again. We even crept up into the '80s in some cases. But now, they're running out of properties that have made over X amount of money at the theater previously, so now we're getting three Stooges movies. Yeah. Well, this is the thing, though, is movies from back then really had some originality and some interesting stuff going on. If they're going to steal from anybody, that is really the time period to steal from. You know what's sad? I don't know that there's anybody, even Johnnie Depp, who I have a lot of respect for, although increasingly his decisions baffle me. I don't know that there is an actor alive today that can handle William Powell's dialogue from the thing. Yeah. And that's a weird thing to have to say, but-- You know, who else could possibly do it? Um, what the heck is that dude's name? Tony Stark. Oh! Yeah. Robert Dan is unique. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. That's a very, very-- That's an interesting idea. Yeah. And he could work the stash so good in that suit. Yeah. But do you feel like he's already done Sherlock, and that's a little too-- Well, I mean, he would have to draw the line between the same man and a couple. Yeah, you'd have to have a really good counterpart. I'm really interested to see how they're going to handle the relationship, because I love the relationship in the original-- like the original series. And I hope they don't make it some sort of catty thing or go with some weird-- Yeah, they take something so beloved. Like really, there are so many new and fresh ideas that could be original. Yeah. Like, why must they take old ideas? Yeah. Well, I was-- You don't do it. I'm sorry. I was just going to say, actually, we have an item coming up later. Yeah. And along this same thing where our man Stroudsburg was mentioning that they're making a twin sequel. Triplets. Oh, yeah. Triplets. And it's going to have Eddie Murphy as the third. That's the third. I think that's kind of funny, other than, like, I hate Eddie Murphy. Like, the person who he is in real life, in our own. What's interesting. You know, as soon as you mention Eddie Murphy and Eddie Crowd, you might get, like, a Golden Child? I love that movie. Yeah. You might get a positive reaction from that. That's it. No. And you might get something out of Beverly Hills Cop. But before that, the thing everyone always goes to are his first two stand up shows. And the thing is, he hasn't been funny like that since, you know, '87 or whatever. He just seems like he has a giant chip on his shoulder and he's a complete ass. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think he's just not challenged anymore. I think that's a lot of it. I don't know what he is. He's, like, personally. No. I think he's just bitter. He doesn't get the roles that he wants to. I feel like he just yells at his staff all the time. Like, I don't know that, but I feel that. Like my heart says, "I hate you Eddie Murphy for all the things that I don't actually know about you." Yeah. That's nice. But we don't judge at all. Unless you're Eddie Murphy. No, no. Yeah. Hey, come on. When you go against Scary Spice, you are dead to me. For real. He was against Scary Spice? They were dating. She got pregnant. And he's like, "Ah, that's not my bad way of screwing around." And she's like, "What the hell, Eddie Murphy? I thought you loved me." That's rough, Eddie Murphy. And then, yeah. He finally now recognizes the child, but it was like, "Yeah, rough." Yes. Hey, Eddie Murphy. Yeah. Do that to a Spice girl. No. No. You should see Jaime's face right now. She's given the eyes. Speaking of, let's just round up this reboot talk. You know what else is getting remade? God, don't tell me. I don't want to know. This one, I think you guys actually might not argue, is not a bad idea. Highlander. Really? Yeah. You know, it's funny you should say that, because the season premiere for Game of Thrones season 2. Oh, you're going to bring out Game of Thrones. What a surprise. Somehow there's going to be some Game of Thrones talk. I know. I mean, I can't avoid it. It's coming out tomorrow. But I was-- I was thinking there's been a real-- I mean, this isn't just something, well, I think, you know, this has actually been shown. There's been a really-- there's been a big upsurge in interest in fantasy and that sort of genre in TV and film lately. So I'm kind of wondering, are we going to see some kind of he-man, she-ro reboot sometimes soon? Well, I kind of wonder. I mean, I would love that. They did try one, right? Yeah, I remember they had that really terrible, terrible film. But I wonder if they're going to come out with something like that now that there has been sort of the intro-- the up spike in interest in fantasy. Okay. Well, here's my theory. And actually, it's interesting you bring this up because it got mentioned in the mob. Um, I believe it was Armand Gibraltar who was mentioning that he was hoping there would be-- and I'm going to-- I'm going to mess these names up because I have no-- well, actually, Faford. I've never known how to pronounce it. I've read it so many times, but I've never known how to pronounce it. I've never heard anybody say it. Faford in the gray mouser by Fritz Lieber, okay? Classic barbarian style, Conan, originator, Vary of that, whatever. But my feeling is that these things are cyclical, right? So right now, we are literally reliving the Tolkienian 70s. We are-- somehow, we got really into Lord of the Rings again. Everyone lit their patchouli. We're just in the middle of whatever. I think it's going to end at the end of the Hobbit releases. I think we're going to have kind of run our gambit through. We're doing this whole folklore thing over again. All of that return to fairy tales is, I believe, connected to the Lord of the Rings, kind of bringing this fantasy idea, this medieval fantasy, you know, castles and wizards. I think you underestimate Game of Thrones, sir. Well, no, no. And I'm not saying-- but here's the thing. Of course, something like Game of Thrones, which is really quality, but let's be honest, Game of Thrones is if you technically have been around from the mid '90s, right? We're talking about a book-- a series of books that's almost two decades old now. Yeah. And it's now that it's coming into its own. Now it's becoming huge, and it's not because it has an inequality from the start. You read that first book, and it's still amazing. Yeah. So it's because we're being-- we're now going back into the coffers, if you will, and we're picking out the good stuff, and we're going to bring it up to the front, and we're going to run through till we get to the bad stuff, and then we're going to move on. So my feeling is that what happens next, just like it was in the '70s, next we move into Conan again, and we do like the barbarian thing, and we get back into that whole-- Yeah. I just had a thought. Couldn't it be-- I think it would be both wonderful. You could argue even that we're already on our way there with the release of Conan, and John Carter, and stuff. Maybe they're just too far ahead of the career. Well, that's my thought, right? Wouldn't it be both wonderful and potentially terrible if they were to come out with a black company TV show? I could see something like that. Yeah, black company is another one of those series that's-- I couldn't see it as a movie, but as a TV show, but I'd be afraid they'd screw it up, though. I think it would be fantastic, but yeah, it would have to be like a TV show. If it was on HBO, yeah. Absolutely. Thank you, HBO. Yeah. While we're talking this sort of business, have you guys seen the WeylandIndustries.com website? No. It's kind of fun. Oh, wait. Is that the one? It's-- Guy Piers. Guy Piers, yes. Thank you. Yeah. The TED Talk we had discussed a little while ago. Yes, yes. Yeah, from the same movie from Prometheus, which, if you can't tell, I'm hugely excited about. Yeah. It's interesting because this is a corporation that was created way earlier in the franchise of the Alien franchise, and it's been building in a world building since over time, right? Like all of these things have been attributed to it. So if you go to WeylandIndustries.com/pound/timeline, you will be brought to a screen that-- and I'll link this in the show notes, obviously-- that demonstrates-- like, it's your standard corporate kind of website, but it shows you everything Weyland Industries has done. That's awesome. And obviously, this stretches way into the future because-- It's Weyland Industries. Yeah, exactly. We already knew what happens. So-- and it's interesting because some of them are-- Rich has been there. Yeah, Rich has been there. Some of the items are not mundane, but they've put some thought into it. You feel like, you know, they've considered what kind of points this sort of corporation would hit. We'd put on there. To get to a point where it's colonizing and terraforming worlds. Yeah. So. That's crazy cool. Yeah. I'm a big fan of that sort of background. Advertising. Yeah. So it's promotion when you think about it, really. But you see, something like that really is extended to a point where-- I mean, I used to read the Dark Horse Presents Marines versus Predator or Marines versus Alien or just the Colonial Marines comics. Yeah. And so that universe feels a lot larger to me than just-- and this, you know, I feel like I can have faith in Ridley Scott to not pooch this one. So anyway, I'm willing to buy into it a little more than I might be into some other items. Well, that sounds really cool. Now, something you see a lot these days, but you didn't so much back in the day. You guys seen those things where they have a camera trained on the crowd in a movie theater as they're watching the film? Yes. Yes, yes. I came across this gem. And this might be another one off of Strasburg, but I'm not sure. Which was a crowd watching Halloween. The original-- Wait. What? There's Halloween. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Was it an original crowd watching an original Halloween? Yeah. It's a first run Halloween crowd being-- Wow. Okay. Wow. Now, let's just put your mind into a late '70s, I believe it was '79. That's just out of the top of my head. It could be your own crowd going into-- this is pre, you know, all of the slasher films. This is-- This was one of the first, right? Mm-hmm. So let's just hear a little sample of what that would sound like to be in the day. I'll see you later. 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SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [TIRES SCREECHING] Hi, I'm Jeff, and this is your New York Minute. Last week, I told you about a New York radio legend, Dr. Bernard Meltzer. Today, I'm back with another. Love him or hate him, Bob Grant is a New York radio legend. One of the pioneers of political talk radio, he's been on the air since 1970, and he's been cranky since day one. He isn't genteel. Phone calls frequently end with him telling a caller to get off my phone, you jerk. Guests are often informed that you're a fake, a phony, and a fraud. Shows would end with somebody's got to say these things, it has to be me. However, it was his regular and slightly irregular callers who often stole the show. This is from Wikipedia, whose journalistic content exceeds the sewer but doesn't approach your car's owner's manual. One of Grant's most memorable regular call-in guests was Ms. Trivia, who aired her "Beef of the Week", a series of seemingly trivial complaints such as her objection to still gum in baseball card packets, the exaltation of the lowly mouse in popular cartoon culture, such as Mickey Mouse and Mighty Mouse, at the expense of portraying felines in a discriminatory manner. Felix the Trickster, Stylvester, the Lizzie Capitalist, etc. She later insisted that she be called "Mmm, Trivia" in support of doing away with titles that differentiated men from women, such as Miss, Misses, or Mr. Grant referred to "Mmm, Trivia" as the most popular personage on WMCA radio, who was not even on the payroll. Miss Trivia was Grant's guest at a Halloween festival dinner held at Laurie Tano's Restaurant in the Bronx, where a young Miss Trivia, not long out of her teens, revealed herself for the first time to a startled radio audience. Many who had expected and assumed, based upon her articulation and intonation that she would be an elderly, prudish woman, instead, a statuesque and fashionable Miss Trivia wearing an elaborate Victorian costume was the surprise guest seated next to Grant at the dais table along with several political figures from New York. The following day, the majority of calls to the show were for the purpose of obtaining information about the mysterious Mmm, Trivia, with Grant in his typical manner finally in exasperation hanging up on the caller shouting "This is not Mmm, Trivia's show!" I only wish I were as accomplished to crank as Mmm, Trivia. The caller I remember most, however, is simply known to me as the Flute Guy. Long before people would call a show just to shout "Baba boi!" This guy called Bob and, without ever saying a word, played a few notes on a flute until he was cut off. It wasn't much of a tune, sort of a simple yet haunting series of rising and falling tones. Sometimes he'd managed to call in several times each show, other times he'd go days without hearing from him. It got to the point that you wanted to hear him because Bob couldn't simply hang up and go to another caller. He'd go off on a ramp for the next two or three minutes on what the Flute Guy's problem was. If it was a mental problem or if he was a jerk. Eventually, his call screener got pretty good at keeping him off the air, but sometimes he'd managed to fool the screener and get through. The Flute Guy remains my favorite radio show caller ever, thanks to being so esoteric. Just ahead of the legitimately nuts and eventual subject of his own New York minute, Jerome from Manhattan, who calls W.F.A.N. and pretty much every other station in New York City. So, what is the appeal of the Flute Guy? This is the appeal of the Flute. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Another excellent submission from Jeff. Always nice to hear his thoughts out of New York. Yes, yes. Taking a trip today, I guess. There's a million tales in the Naked City and all of them are bothersome. And naked. Very nice, very nice. Solid work, Jeff. I really enjoyed that. Without, you can find all of Jeff's New York minutes at bothersomethings.com. [Music] The curious tales of Vienna. While there are many weird tales surrounding St. Stephen's Church, many forget the nearby movie theater. Many years ago, a man with half his face eaten away from a terrible cancer, went into the woods late in the evening. He was lamenting his troubles in a place where he had made so many memories in his youth. He lamented, "Oh, curse God, for giving me this cancer that has stolen my good looks." And it was true that he was once a handsome man. Now he was so ugly that he was fired from his job and dumped by his girlfriend. Even his dog ran away. It was then a cloaked figure stepped out of the shadows and said, "You would curse God. Who are you?" asked the ugly man. "I..." replied the stranger. "MBL's above." "Go away!" cried the man. "I am a good Christian." "Good Christians, do not curse their God," replied Beelzebub. "I will make you a deal that will make you rich." "No," said the ugly man. "I will not make a deal with you. You will take my soul." Beelzebub laughed. "No, no. I do not want your soul. I want to help you." "Will you not even hear my proposal?" The ugly man was suspicious, but said he would listen. "I will give you money, and you will open a theatre like you always dreamed." And it was true that the man wished to own his own movie theatre. "All that I ask." "Aha!" thought the ugly man. "Now he will try and trick me. All that I ask is that you have a bottled water and candy combo for $6.66." The ugly man thought on the proposal, and could not see how it could hurt him. So he agreed. A year passed, and the ugly man opened his theatre and became very rich and happy. He smiled so much that he seemed less ugly to everyone. However, any customer ordered a candy and a bottled water quickly grew afraid and canceled their order or added to their order to dispel the evil number. One day, while he was working in his office upstairs at the theatre, there was a knock at his door. He opened the door to find his old girlfriend. She apologized to the ugly man, saying he was wrong of her to leave him and asking if he would forgive her if he could. This man was moved by her words and forgave her. He then asked if she would like to go on a date with him tomorrow. She happily agreed, then said, "Please excuse me. I have travelled far to ask you for your forgiveness, and I am dehydrated, and my blood sugar is low." I require refreshments. So the girlfriend went downstairs to the concession stand. The ugly man watched her on his security camera. "Happy!" she had returned to him. He watched as she walked up to the cashier and placed her order. The cashier then retrieved a bottled water and a box of candy. Suddenly the ugly man felt uneasy. Then he remembered the devil's words. "No!" cried the ugly man, but it was too late. His girlfriend handed the cashier $6.66 for her order. Suddenly a column of fire erupted and bls above stood my lobby. He seized the girlfriend and dragged her to hell. The ugly man cried. He cried for his loss and cursed his arrogance. But he could fool himself into believing that he could make a deal with the devil and not get burned. Oh my god, I loved that. That was so hilarious. Your audio editing was perfect. I loved when the devil revealed what it was. And the deal he was trying to make. Oh, that was so perfect. Always nice to get a V&E as well as your Notifish. And a box of cats. Always so much gravitas to the tales. That was great. And his accent, the accent. Thank you. Now just a sort of a side before we get into the next segment. I just want to say, man, do we have fantastic contributors? Yes, thank you so much everybody. Thanks to the mob for always being there, but extra thanks to this contributors. We're taking it to the next level. Yeah, the icing on the cake. The sparkle is on the icing on the cake. The cherry on the sparkle on the icing on the cake. I'm hungry. The gold's plating on the icing on the cake. You forgot the sparkles. Speaking of sparkles, let's hear what Ingrid has to say. Fresh fish, a new batch of cinematic pulp with the always listening. 3-day fish. Hey, flesh cast. This week's review is brought to you by a legend teller and full fish of the day. And I'm very excited to present you a PowerPoint V&E special. I struggled through Vienna the other day seeking for some inspiration. Suddenly at St Stephen's Square I ran into a woman. Before I could apologize, I heard the woman saying, "What a beep!" I looked at her. And guess what? Yes, right. I met Bunny. I introduced myself and asked her what she was doing in Vienna. She just answered, "We are floating a beeping flat pulp movie here. Coffin is wizarding the catacombs currently. I'm watching out for a beeping flower or something." I showed her the way to the next whiskey bar. She on the other hand told me where I could find the film crew. I met very nice people there and they told me about that shop. So, to my pleasure, I'm allowed to present you. Coffin, the composer's last head. So, here we go. Well, Coffin's roommate Bunny wins a trip to Vienna with collecting and sending in labels of whiskey bottles. And the special thing is that the tour operator is rich to time-traveller. So, this guy brings the couple to post-war Vienna. We ride the year 1954. Most of the buildings are already rebuilt, including St. Stephen's Cathedral. Vienna is still occupied by the Eliot and divided into four zones. One doesn't have problems to pass the Sonal borders as long as one has a valid 3-de-fish or a dog-blue document. Anyway, Coffin and Bunny make a lot of sightseeing and they've also planned to visit all the cemeteries. There's just one left. It's the graveyard of the unknown, where the Viennese bear is the dead who has died in the Danube after an accident or after committing suicide in the river. The best way to reach this graveyard is by sailing. So, the couple is waiting for Captain Picard in one of Vienna's famous coffeehouses. And this is where the following cutscene takes place. [Music] It is almost a quarter after the New York minute. The really radio is playing. And Coffin and Bunny enjoy the well-deserved cup of chow and some nutty bites, when a headless man enters the room. He is dressed like a typical musician from the 18th century. In one hand, he holds a wig. In the other hand, he has a skull, and he is surrounded by sound cloud. [Music] Oh, bald peep! Bunny remarks, "Where is his peeping head?" Coffin puts his walkershaunals aside. He knows already that this man deserves a spot of bother. The headless moves closer. May I introduce myself? I am Josef Haydn, and I've followed you from one of the graveyards you've just visited. Coffin nods, asks the unfortunate to take a seat and to continue his story. I died May 31 in 1809 during the Napoleon's Wars. In the background, I could hear the gunfire of the ongoing battle. However, I had lived my life and I was already 77, so I decided to close my eyes forever. Anyway, I had wished for a first-class funeral, but under the circumstances of war, it was just a quick one. But that's not all. Three days after the burial, two men both were well-known to me, dug me up again and stole my head. These were Joseph Karl Rosenbaum, a secretary of the Easter house family, and Johann Nepomok Peter, governor of the provincial prison of Lower Austria. Their motivation was an interest in phrenology, a scientific movement that attempted to associate mental capacities with the aspects of cranial anatomy. 11 years later, my former employee and patron, Prince Esterhaus was reminded by chance that he had forgotten to carry through his plan of having my remains transferred to the family seat in Eisenstadt. They exhumed my remains and discovered that my skull was missed. The police searched for my head and pretty soon the two thieves were under suspicion. But the two were too clever. By using a trick, they kept my skull hidden. Finally, they delivered a head, but it was not mine. My cranium has passed down generations. Till today, in my sycrophagus, my body lies together with a foreign skull. There are now 145 years since I've passed away. It is time for me to rest in peace. I need your help, Mr. Coffin. Well, an entertaining adventure has begun based on a historical crime case. Coffin and Bunny meet many dark figures. The film shows many beautiful locations. Hmm. I shouldn't give too much away. But with Coffin's help, the composer's skull can finally be transferred to his tomb, which completes the 145-year-long burrow process. When Josef Haydn's skull was finally restored to the remainder of his skeleton, the substitute skull was not removed. Thus, Haydn's tomb now contains two skulls. Well, G.O.D. of OpenX and Jessica may outdo themselves in this spectacular flashpout movie and all in all, and I don't fool you now. Skinnaker productions of every shower, and I'm sure all the mobsters agree to serve a super green light. So, that's all for this week. From your full stayfish, always watching. Uh, listening. Aw, I giggled through most of that. I was so great. I literally have tears in my eyes at the moment. I can't wait for my on-set script consultations. I'm really looking forward to checking your piano. Yeah, it was so nice having all of those references, everyone. It was so clever, Ingrid. You're so clever. Very nice to get a movie review. You're so good. Yeah, green light. I've watched that movie. You will, you will. Fantasticly done. You can find all of Ingrid's movie-related items over at dancingla.blockspot.com or Vienneselegends.blockspot.com. Which I assume we'll soon have pictures from the movie set. I hope so. Great story. Great story. I love that. So, yeah. Thanks a lot, Ingrid. Uh, what have we got next? I believe. Yes, indeed. The Horrible Histories. [MUSIC] Sciaticians, my fellow monsters. Gibraltar here and I welcome you again to Horrible Histories. So, I've gotten the histoscope of working again. This time, I'm taking precautions. I'm letting the lab cat push the buttons while I stand here safely behind this ledge shield. Full-proof lab cat. Start the histoscope. What? Of course it's safe. Push the button. Yes, you're getting to enough of this, but you just hit the... No, don't flip the ball of yarn. Just hit the button. Fine, I'll do it. Here we go. The Sacred Band of Thieves was a group of soldiers consisting of 150 male couples, which formed to help lead force of the VPN army in the 4th century BC. It was organized by the Thebing Commander of the Chlorias and 378 BC. They were annihilated by Folt II of Macedon. And the battle of Cevidonia in 338 BC. Blue-dark records that the Sacred Band was made up of male couples were action now, being that lovers would fight more fiercely and gorgeously than strangers with no parampons. The Sacred Band was originally born to 300 hand-picked men who hurt couples. Each lover or beloved was selected from the ranks of the existing Thebing and Assassin army. The pair's rolled house and trains at Case's expense in order to fight his hop lights. After the Thebing General Chlorias recaptured the Acropolis of Thieves in 379 BC. He assumed command of the Sacred Band in which he followed alongside with his good friend Epralanias. It was Paladius who formed these couples and he was a distinct unit. He never separated or scattered them, but would stand in the brunt of battle using them as one body. They became, in effect, the special forces of the Greek soldiery. And in the 40 years of their known existence, 378 to 338 BC marked the preeminence of thieves as a military and political power in late classical Greeks. The Sacred Band was on the Spartans in Atresia in 375 BC, rotting an army at least three times its size. Although they eventually retreated before the Spartans, they were also responsible for the victory of the Coteus in 371 BC, which was called the most decisive battle ever fought by Greeks against Greeks. The battle of the Coteus also established the Thebing and Independence from Spartan rule and lay the groundwork for the expansion of Thebing power. Possibly also led to Philip II's eventual victory. Defeat ultimately came to the Battle of Cyrodonia, 338 BC, the decisive conflict in which Philip II and his son, Alexander, extinguished the Thebean homology. The traditional Hoplai infantry was no match for the long-speared Macedonian failings. The Thebing army and its allies broke in flight, but the Sacred Band, though surrounded and overwhelmed, refused to surrender. The Thebeans of the Sacred Band held their ground and nearly all 300 fell, where they stood beside their last commander, Tragarines. The Stark reports of Philip II on encountering the Corpses, heaped upon one another, and understanding who they were, exclaimed, "Perish any man who suspects that these men I neither did nor suffered anything on Thebean." In about the year 300, the town of Thebes erected a giant lion's statue of a upon a pedestal at the burial site of the Sacred Band. The statue was later fully restored in 1902 and still stands this day, a fitting tribute to the Lions and Thebes. The existence grows dark and can, everything seems to be okay. Nothing, no, nothing, nothing's wrong. Well, okay. See, that wasn't so bad, was it? Labcat. God, damn it. Well, till next time, people. Maybe. That was great. That was so good. That was so good, the Labcat. I totally was not expecting that yet. Yeah, yeah, very nice, very nice. Your editing is very good, too. We bring these guys into Skinner Co. under sort of a subcontracting, separate division, and sometimes they get a lot of freedom, so. Yeah, keep working on those systems. We certainly appreciate how it goes. And the danger that, like, you go through on a daily basis for us, it's just... And this is a bone-working hair. Yeah, this segment specifically is fantastic. Yeah. Very interesting. Very, very interesting. Your history is very interesting. Thanks a lot, Gibraltar. Mm-hmm. Appreciate it. Mm-hmm. Don't go anywhere. You know what I did here? Are you going to sing us a few bars? Of what? Did I vote something that I'm not aware of? Like a rock. Yeah. Solid. Solid is a rock. Solid is a rock. Solid is a rock. I think it's solid as a rock. Yeah, I knew if I just kept fumbling around for it long enough. You get it wrong on purpose just so I do it. Yeah. You know me, Mr. Skinner. Thanks again, Gibraltar. Yeah. Absolutely appreciated. Thank you. Thank you very much. Now I'm also very pleased to say that we have a piece by the captain. Ooh. I'll put on my eye patch. Yeah, it sounds better that way. Urgh. [dramatic music] [screaming] Gah. These be the words of my ship's cook. The ignoble Monty McBuble muttered in his sleep. Now he's no lettering of his own nor digits the fight of the task. A proud leper and gourmet of the rat infested weevil ridden ship stores, he revealed to me his hopes and fears while snoring around his necrotizing tongue. It was a night of summeritude, and the grim bastard lulled in a pieceable wake. I myself dozed in me hammock or rather a limnet. You see, the froin' and toin' of the ship can quite disassemble me once common figure, and the netting keeps it all close by for the ease of glue and stapling. I was awoke by a thin whale that pierced me our old tunnel. I did me limb count and left the galley, in which I sleeps, for the mates of a fear inhaling me leprosity whilst the yarns. On tiptoe, for that's what I've got, I crept to the store-room door. It is locked to keep the rogues without, within lice foodstuffs and grogg. The keyhole be sufficient to admit me I. She's been loose some months now, and with a teaspoon I can dislodge the orb, and so I popped her through the lock. The insides were as dark as an angel's arifice. For though shadowed, to a shot through with flashes of a violent green. The pulses was quite blinding to me, dislocated paper, so I jerked her back into me socket. With a bitter fiddling I got it right-ways, and only blinking had some drag still. Luckily me forefinger, I've only the left left, had recently whirled itself bony, and was an ideal skeleton key. Well I'd no choose in but leave the key in the lock, and the door swung gently into the slowly rotten fish, with which I'd be brunes and fine-brained brain-tenderizer in a half moon or so. The glow warned me further than the season had managed, and the shrill whistle was taunting me again. I followed the flying flautistry to a barrel underneath the cockle sack. Now though I does the chiffrin here, out, it is Barry who's the quartermaster and does our shopping when we're anchor. Of course he's got a weakness for the dresses, and has been known to expend the ration-pence, and return to the bastard-casting sequence with feathers in his hair. So the finding of mysteries and inedibles is no surprise, but rarely bars the making of soups. This cask had the look of luxuries, and the sparkle brought me to mind if one of Barry's finest deck-shows dressed as Sharon, twirling and twinkling to the siren's song. The exotic yellow surface was patterned with neat swirly sigils, and cracks, leaking with the emerald ooze, which was soaking up in the sacks and parcels around it. A bit of gribble and merely softened the vittles, but I'd not want them to spoil, so I hauled the barrel out and over the side. With a loaf of bread I upped up the excess slime, for the mates are often put off by the sight of such squeamies. The loaf I returned to the bread bin, for we were down to our last few. The whistling had passed, so I returned to be bunk, licking the oddly tasty green sauce off of my odd-matched fingers. Now, it was some days later, when in me increasing desperation for something edible to pop in the suppery gruel, I was clambering about the star-room and came upon a startle. A throbbing heap of fresh peppers, raging with health. Surrounding them was a ring of muscular-looking muck-cockles, which bounced in a menacing way when I loomed upon them. Well, I takes no nonsense from me, grub, and twaddled them with a ladle into a pot for broiling. The peppers look right, juice them, and destined for the captain's table. All day I brag to the meal to me noble captain, and the light is fated experience before the night was out. Ah, how I love to overcome his innate skepticism. I must admit it is rare that I succeed, and that night far from buck the trend. Me galley fairly hummed with culinary froth, and the aromas of a dozen arguably gangrenous gradients. All most all of me did it to survive the dice in and escape the pot. All was traversing the cookery ocean smoothly until the first cockle exploded out the pot, punching a hole through the wall. I heard a cry and a distant splash. I turned back to my work. The rest of the ballistic bivalve soon left me a new colander and a gap in me menu. It was tricksy. I turned my favoured blade to the peppers. Ah, they're red flesh parted before the knife's virtue. It made me scruffulous skin itch, tis me art, and me craft to cook. And yet when I peered it it innards. The familiar glow fell upon me face, and that eerie well resumed for me night-time wander. You could but imagine me amazement. Except that I aim to describe it to you now. For within the crimson peach lay an amunculus pepper, singing its little bell heart out. Each one I penetrated with fruit sword held another to the veggie warblers. They were to light. Their chorus near made me fingernails regrow and me septum sees its wobbling. Enchanting. The magic was shattered by the bellow of my hungry captain. Full well-dye lemered, the cockles had cocked off and me sweet pepper and main dish was serenading me. Well the cockles I could swap with octopus eyeballs, or the cartilage in me knees, but the taste of a pepper had no compare. I served up to me captain them darling pepper mites. The grilling stopped their singing, and me one remaining teared out overflow to sultum just right. The meal was a success, but I could scare stop the tales that coursed down me right cheek. I hobbled off to bed, where I both celebrated and commiserated with myself with a tart of brain-brain tenderizer. Or I cannot now look a pepper in the eye for memory of their song. The cockles returned by the by, and the cupboard once they now dwellies forever denied me. That was great, I love the cockles. Yeah, always brilliant. I was really hoping that maybe the peppers, the same peppers survived. Yes, but the grilling stopped their singing. I choose to believe that much like the black freighter from the watchman, there's a subtext here, but it's more to the effect of something. It has something to do with hallucinogenics, I'm just not quite sure where we're going yet, but we'll figure it out with a few more entries. Indeed. Thank you very much captain. That was so good. Thank you, Nick. Captainpikheart.com. Plenty more to listen to, plenty more to read. Four. Show. Plenty of adventures with the Grimmbaster. It appears that we have a last-minute entry from Barry. Yes, he ran home to get it in on time, and indeed he has. We certainly appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for all the effort, dude. So, without further delay. ♪ SpongeBob there. Hi, I'm officers. Have you ever been at home, yucking it up with your friends, knocking back a few too many shots of your favorite libation, or perhaps smoking a bit too much of your favorite, um, tobacco, as the case may be, and developed a wicked case of the munchies? I keep a few frozen pizzas around for this very reason. Tombstones, of course. But what if there are no tombstones in your freezer? The cupboards are bare, and it's too late for a late night delivery. This sort of thing is exactly what happened to a Russian man recently, and he decided to try something new. Here's the story from the mail online. A Russian man killed a drinking partner after he and his friends ran out of snacks at a vodka party, then sold the leftovers as pork at a market. The 35-year-old admitted to stabbing his fellow drinker, 41, to death before slicing flesh off the corpse, which he cooked and ate, police said. The next day, the cannibal took more meat to a local market on Ruski Island, Vladivlovstock, saying it was pork. A local man bought the meat, but was sickened by the smells he cooked it. He purchased some pork, but noticed as he cooked it, the smell was strange, said investigative police spokesman of Roarotam Skya. Despite this, he ate the meat, and it tasted strange, too. The man then took the meat to the experts, who confirmed that it wasn't from an animal. Hearing this, the buyer immediately took it to the police. Officers went to his house, where the suspect confessed to both murder and cannibalism, she said. "We got short of snacks to eat with our vodka," he told the police. In his fridge, police found a human head. The remains of the rest of the body were in a garden shed. "The man is now in detention," said Rimskaya. She added that two other customers bought the human meat, but did not complain to the police. In a completely separate incident, also in Russia, a cannibal serial killer who ate his victim's livers has confessed to a string of murders while being interviewed by police as a robbery suspect. Twisted Alexander Bychkoff, 24, from Penza in Central Russia, had originally been detained over a hardware store holdup. But as police quizzed him, he confessed to at least six "grismy" murders, where he chopped his victims into small pieces and ate their livers before burying their remains near his home. "We can now confirm that cannibalism took place," one senior local police source told the media, and I bet he never expected to say that. Penza police investigation chief Maria Orlova added, "At this point, we have found six people buried, recovered their remains from the ground, and sent them for examination." In closing, might I make a suggestion? Next time you're invited to a drinking party, take along your own tombstone. After all, no matter how well you may think you know your friends, you may need it. I'm Barry, and that's this week's spot of bother. That's pretty terrifying. It is terrifying. I believe that's exactly how the donner party got started, right? Too much vodka. And several people ate the meat without complaining to authorities. Well, on the bright side, they didn't get to the house and discover that there were like five more heads from a longer period of time. Well, it's ridiculous. I understand that splitting up a body is easier to get rid of, but when you like house different parts of the body, in so many different areas, yeah, you get caught. I feel like this is just another adventure on the part of the Russian culinary detective. You know what? I feel like if I were drinking vodka, murdering people and eating them, I could have done a much better job, frankly. Well, yeah, why don't you go and try to do them? It is cannibalism. Anyway, thank you very much, Barry. Yeah, that was awesome. It was pretty bothersome. It was extremely bothersome. You can find all of Barry's work over at bmj2k.com. All of his bothersome work? All of his bothersome business. Alright, to sew things up, we have Doc Blue with the ongoing adventures of Doc Asriel, Angel of Death. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. [Music] In the last episode, Jimmy Keenan, importer and smuggler, was paid a visit by a mysterious new lawyer. The man informed Keenan that he would be handling his defense, and that they had a lot to talk about. And now, the latest chapter of Doc Asriel, Angel of Death. Officer Ronald Corley, awake to the sound of someone rapping on his car window. Ronnie, Ronnie, are you awake? He could just barely hear his wife's voice through the glass. Grogly, he looked around. His car was sitting outside of his house. Corley nodded slowly to his wife, Doris, and opened the door of his vehicle. Ronnie, what happened? He would lay it, and then I heard your horn and found you here. Ronald rose unsteadily. I'm sorry I'm late, I was investigating. I had to work late. He looked up and down the dark street. Can we talk about this inside? The young woman nodded and helped him into the house. As his wife made him a pot of coffee, she asked, was this about the vigilante again? Yes, he sighed heavily and related the story. After the taxi dropped off Sergeant Parr, I followed the cab out of the district. I hoped it would lead me to Doc Asriel. Turns out I was right. Doris let out a gasp. I followed the cab into the alley, but it disappeared. When I turned back out, there was a figure all dressed in black blocking my path. He approached the car and the engine died. Without thinking, I turned the key again and again. All I wanted to do was to get out of there. When he reached the driver's side door, he spoke. The window was rolled up, but I could hear his voice as if he was on the seat right next to me. Are you so eager to have your name added to my book, Officer Ronald Corley? His voice seemed to echo, only it wasn't really an echo. It was like a dozen voices all speaking at once, all saying the same thing, but a little out of sync. All I could do was shake my head. Why do you seek me so persistently? It's hard to remember the details. I couldn't make out his face. It was like the glass had gone funny, like in a mirror house at the carnival. And there was the smell. I remember trying to figure out where that was coming from. Metal naught in the affairs of Angels, Officer Corley. Lest Angels, Metal with you. Ronald shook his head. Everything went dark then. The next thing I remember, I was here. He sat up with the start. He must have driven my car home. Maybe he left a clue. The young officer tried to stand. Doris grabbed his arm. Please don't, Ronnie. I don't know what or who this vigilante is, but he gave you a chance to stay out of this. Please take it. Corley looked into her face. But it's my job. I guess you're right. I don't have any evidence that he's actually hurting people. And he seems to be helping you clean up the neighborhood. Just let it be. Ronald nodded. I'm going to try to get some sleep. You coming? In just a minute, let me clean this up. Corley shrugged and left the kitchen. His wife watched him leave. She then pulled the business car she'd removed from his windshield out of her pocket. On it was a single eye, superimposed and a pair of black wings. The calling card of Doc Asriel. Thanks very much, Doc Blue. Solid work once again. And the mystery deepens. Yes. It's quite interesting. The plot thickens. It's interesting. You can also find more work by Doc Blue over at thesecretlayer.com. He's one of a few fellows who posts over there. He is a two-fisted statistician, as he will tell you. What does that mean? He's into numbers, but in a pulpy kind of way. He does a lot of gaming related business. And some of his postings over at thesecretlayer are very interesting if you're into numbered juggling. And some of you are going, "Oh, my." And some of you are going, "Yes." Oh, my. Exactly. Wait, we were talking numbers and fractals on the mob the other day, weren't we? And poetry, in the same topic. That's right. Because that's how the mob rolls. We're awesome like that. And have we told you lately that we love you, mob? That's right. Have I told you lately? Okay, well, actually, speaking of the love fest, let's roll right into mailbag. Mailbag! So, we got another little note from the Captain in our mailbag. Nick, yeah? Yep. He's saying, "I'm also a brace of weeks behind times with ye flashpop world, and I'm barely into the Titan braid. I think I'm going to have to read it all at once. I did, however, love the endangered granny. It had me laughing out loud. That's always alarming for the folks I cycle past. Awesome. Oh, I can see that. That sounds so awesome. Yes. Wait. Especially like with his mustache and stuff. He's like, "I know you should see the mustache photo from the other day. It was so great. The pointy mustache." Anyway, I'm also loving Doc Blue's "Doc As Real" series, and I'm looking forward to more. All the new segments are awesome, and I love how you guys are gradually creating theme tunes. Damn. Singing instruments and now apocalyptic trance brilliant. Mm-hmm. Well, thanks, Nick. Yes, thank you very much. I'm definitely loving all of the segments we have. We've been very lucky. Mm-hmm. And our audio is brilliant. Oh, yeah. Well, thank you. But you're irreplaceable. Yes, that's correct. We stop a guard. Okay. Well, that concludes the written business, but I believe we have a little something from Gigantor. Indeed, we do. I can't wait because I love his theme music. ♪♪ That is good, Nick. All right. ♪♪ Flashcast. It's Gigantor. I have a story for you guys this week. Actually, to be honest, I've had the story for a little while, but I just haven't had a chance to record it and send it your way. So this would be back to my very first day of work on the job. I've done all my training. I'm actually with a mentor to start taking calls. My very first call comes in. My first 911 call comes in. And it's the lady's just screaming. She's panicked. She's frantic. Her boyfriend, her husband of a very modest... in his 40s, I believe, is what she believes dead on the couch. Well, she wasn't wrong. He was dead on the couch. So I go through the best I can to try and help this lady out and give us cheaper instructions and, you know, stuff like that. I'm not going to bore you with the details of the call. This isn't really the specific part. What it is is this is how I earned my nickname among the paramedics. So my very, very first call, as I just explained, was a dead person. Then I take a second call. It goes a bit smoother. My third call, another dead person. I believe there were at least four or five dead people later on that day. And they kept going. It was a trend like that for most of my training. At one point, this is actually maybe a year and a half later. Some of the other dispatchers are friends with some of the paramedics. And through, you know, my coworkers and the paramedics and so facto, I ended up finding out what my nickname was among the paramedics. Death ray. Yeah. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do much to disprove that nickname. It fits pretty good. At least I'm not known as the heart ranger of death. We already have one of those. Anyway, that's my story. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. We instantly cheered when we heard death ray. That's so great. Hilarious, but also not hilarious. Well, yeah. I'm glad that despite your training being so intense like that, that you're still in it and enjoying it. And I'm glad that you are. Well, you know, it's really-- You're helping people, but you're also running the risk of really being-- Oh, man. Your name is badass, though. I love that death ray. You know, it's so sweet, though. Like, we know him personally. And he is like the sweetest, most gentle guy. Yeah. Yeah. So a nickname like Death ray is so awesome. I know. Awesome. It's like having a giant fuzzy teddy bear with death ray on it, you know, and an eye patch. I thought it was pretty funny that he was not wanting to bore us with the details of the death. Yeah. Oh, which totally-- That's good. You should totally, totally bore us with those details because it's entirely not boring. Yeah, really, but he can also only, I know, tell us so much. Say so much. That's right. Yeah. Oh, that creeps me out. People in their 40s just dying on the couch. I hope he, like, lived a really unhealthy lifestyle or something. Oh, yeah. I hope it was terrible every moment of his life. God. I hope he lived a very fulfilling life. And then he just decided he was dead. I don't know. It's just-- I'm almost 30, guys. It's almost my birthday. It's 30. Oh. I don't know. I'm just putting that in there. Yeah. But besides that-- I'm almost 30, guys. Ah. People in 40 dying on the couch. That scares me. I got lots to do. Well, maybe we can be uplifted by a soothing word from Time Traveler Rich. ♪ Hello, Flashpult crew and fellow mobsters. Rich the Time Traveler here. I wanted to start out by saying that I just finished part 5 of the recent Blackhall 6-parter. Definitely interesting things going on there and lots of plot moving. I'm very curious exactly why Blackhall ventured from safety to retrieve what he did in that last part. Will that be in part 6, or do I correctly suspect that's something from the long game? In the previous Flashcast, you guys mentioned hairless rats. I must say I'm not a fan of rats of any kind. However, reminded me of the recent time when my daughter volunteered with a cat rescue group to help socialize the animals. One of the cats they had was a hairless cat with hair. Apparently, it's an uncommon mutation, and we were told the poor cat had to be shaved down regularly because the sporadic patches of hair irritated it. Would that make it a hairful cat? Sometime in the previous comments, I know I mentioned the BBC series Primeval. I'm burning through the last two discs from Netflix, and still enjoying it in a bubblegum way. I was looking to see if there will be a sixth series, and it seems that that is still up in the air, but apparently there is a spin-off coming. This one is called Primeval New World, as being filmed and produced in, and I presume set in, Canada. I believe the filming takes place in Vancouver and is supposed to start sometime this year. I've also been enjoying the BBC version of Being Human, or maybe I should say the original version. I'm halfway through the last season on streaming, and I have half of the next season on my DVR. It took something in the first series before I really got into it, but it's coming along nicely. Another TV-related topic, I've been watching The River. I'm not sure what to say about it so far. It's been a puzzle-a-week kind of show, and I have to say the found footage angle is starting to feel more than a little forced. And while I didn't watch The Lost, I understand it went quite off the rails. This being largely created by the same folks, I can see where that is likely to happen, so we'll wait and see on The River. Crossing back to my semi-regular section on Kid Fiction, I wanted to talk about two books this time. The first I haven't actually read, so I'm relaying this from the kids. It's called Zombie Winter by Jason Strange. The basic premise is the main character goes to school one winter's day, and only to end up the only non-zombie left in town. Both my 10 and 7 year old read this and enjoyed it. Amazon says the reading level is 9 and up, but my 7 year old did just fine, except for a couple places where he asked his sister for help. They said it was spooky, but not too scary, and they both tend to get easily frightened by books and movies, so I think that's probably a good sign that it's fit for most kids. Our next book we're going to start reading together, and yes, we'll get to Powerless eventually, is Zombie Kins by Kevin Bolger from The Cover. He's a little bit bunny, a little bit teddy, and a whole lot zombie. The town of Dementedeville is as boring as they come, but a mysterious stuffed animal is about to liven things up. Stanley Noodleman buys Zombie Kins at a yard sale, because it looks cuddly and creepy cute. But when Zombie Kins gets loose at school, Stanley finds himself in grave danger. Can Stanley and his best friend Miranda save their schoolmates from eternal zombification? Zombie Kins, this bunny's got bite. So hopefully in the next couple of flash casts, I'll be able to report on how it is. It sounds like it'll be a real fun read. Now if you'll forgive me, I have to go. There are some strange cracks in the space-time continuum I have to attend to. It's almost as if someone is operating in an unlicensed histoscope, but that's impossible, since those buggy things have been banned by the Society of Professional Chrono Engineers since 2564. Anyway, till Carwick Rises, this is rich. So why don't you like rats? Have you had some negative experience? Yeah, we've only heard good things about rats. Rich. As an aside, I just want to say that SkinnerCo takes no responsibility for anything any of our contractors are doing. There's a certain amount of distance, as I've mentioned before, that we maintained. Like whaling industries. Whaling industries and/or histoscope operation. I'm not responsible. We are not responsible. Zombie Winter sounds fantastic. Mr. Nine will definitely dig his teeth into that, I think. And Zombie Kins. I have a very soft -- we may have mentioned this before -- a very soft spot for Benicula. I love Benicula so much. There seem to be a little of that to me. Chest to the cat. It was like the first thing with fangs the kids ever read. It was, I think, the first thing with fangs that I ever read. Yeah. Totally. So yeah, both of those sound fantastic to me to do. And they do read goosebumps books, but that's about as creepy as they'll go. And even then, Mr. Nine can get a little... Yeah. He can bring himself out pretty easily. Or Miss Nine will come home and be like, "I read this story, this book, and it was about death. It was really scary, but I'm okay." And then he'll be dead bedtime, which will be like, "I'm thinking about that thing, and I'm really scared. Do you check on me?" Okay, I do need an opinion though. I probably don't have enough patience to go through both being human serieses. So I need maybe rich... Pick one people. Maybe rich or somebody to just tell me which is the one to watch. Yes. Do I watch the British version? Because a lot of the times I find that I do enjoy the original more than the remake. Although the remake tends to get better effects. And you have time to, like, look at the last finished product and see what worked and what didn't. Okay. But generally things that are original from Britain are better. Yeah. I put that out there. Somebody can educate me at least. Same piece without your pop filter, okay? Just keep driving me nuts, okay? Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. I do not envy the idea of having to regularly shave a cat. No. Yeah. I find the idea of... This is irritated by its own hair. That's awesome. You can't do not submit willingly very often. I love hairless things. I think it's so cute in the way. They remind me of old people. And I really like old people for different reasons. It's actually for the same reason that Russian guy does. Yeah, taste. The taste of them. The flavors. Ah. Selling it. It must have been something about the killing. And having it sold. And then, you know, that's got to be part of it. I think maybe the guy just, like, killed the dude, made him. And then was like, "Oh my God, what am I going to do with this body?" So he sold it. Yeah, but for human consumption. Last year I was over again. I don't... This is just, I'm done. I've had it in the stew sandwiches. Yeah, you really went nuts that first day. Yeah. Yeah. Used up all his recipes. You know how sometimes when you're drinking, I don't know if it... Okay. Personal story. When I was, when I was a Ute, there was an occasion in which I over drank a certain beverage. A certain... Vodka, was it not? Oh, Crown Royal, yes. I was going to say, "Oh, well, you have that in common, then." Uh... Yeah. Which is rye? Crown Royal is whiskey, isn't it? No. It's a rye whiskey. Yeah. Oh, pardon me. And it's... And I've never been able to drink it since. Yeah. Even the smell is too interesting. Yeah, just everything. So I wonder if maybe he got really drunk that evening. And he really got, you know, he really tucked into that human and then... Yeah, he can. Maybe the next morning he was really a vomiting just from the drinking itself and now he can't go back. I'm so human. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I did wonder how the river was going to play out over time. It's really tough to maintain that found footage aspect for, you know, an entire season. Keeping that fresh. Yeah. Especially since it's been my experience and maybe I'm wrong on this, but there's only so many kind of scaries you can do with that kind of footage. Yeah. And once you start running through them over and over again. Well, that's why I like the idea of why not just show something for a season or two, but have a beginning and an ending and a point to it. Yeah. And that way you're not just cancelled after two seasons and there was no cohesive story and you didn't really say anything other than, you know, it had potential. Yeah. Imagine if lost had been a couple of seasons. Sure. Yeah. Well, there's an equation right where you need to supposedly you need to be on the air for, I don't know what it is, four seasons or something. First indication? Yeah, to start really making the money. Yes. And then so you take those extra two seasons as like you need a six season run to at least be really profitable. Yeah. And that's where you keep the main love interests apart from each other and draw everything out. No, I don't know if it's because of syndication or what that aspect is DVD sales. I have no idea why or that breakpoint is, but that's what I've always heard. Yeah. I feel like the show they can drag it as long as they like. No, I mean, not to keep harping on loss, but I think the problem with lost is that if that was the equation, they did not plan for it. They didn't know where they were going. Maybe two seasons in mind and they didn't realize it was going to have to go on six. Anyway, speaking of the long game, absolutely rich, definitely long game, probably. Very long. Yeah. Very observant though, and something that will come up. We were just mentioning a moment ago that you're always very quick to respond in the mob, but you're always like so freaking funny. So it's like, how does he do that? He's so quick and so funny. Maybe he's a robot. Maybe. A robot. Well, that's true. I said to him. I said benevolent. Yeah. Obviously he can just sort of step sideways in time for a moment, consider his response and then come back. I said he must Google the best responses to questions or, you know, I like J.R.D.'s idea that he just stops time when he thinks about it. Mm-hmm. And then it's like, bam. Yeah. Stellar works, sir. So, as we rummered around a little more in the meal bag, we come up with a little something from my favorite. Colorado Joe! Colorado Joe! Colorado Joe! Here's a cup of Joe for mobsters at home. It's Colorado Joe. Colorado Joe! Hello, Flashcast crew and fellow mobsters. Sorry for the absence. We'll check in whenever my schedule, which has gotten a bit crazy, will allow. March is the month we administer standardized tests at the school I work at. The stress in orchestrating these testing sessions is insane. And because it is spring, the kids are bouncing off the walls and pushing boundaries, which adds to the chaos. Basically, insanity rules. While I've been busy wrestling children into getting a better education, Linda expanded her geek cred by presenting a talk on accessing Cassandra data stores using Java. Admit it. You want to party with her, right? Also, her team at work released a key product to one of their most important customers. On time! 10.30pm on the Friday night of the deadline counts as on time. Really? So, we have not seen much of each other during all of this. Which sucks. JRD is still the master of the suspenseful cliffhanger, but the opening of Barry's new cereal had me laughing so hard I had to rewind a bit to re-listen to his New York minute. I am glad a pope is feeling better. Sorry you got the bug, JRD. Props to Jay May for her narrative debut. It sounded great. Also loved the latest Skinner Co. Inc. Linda and I recently watched Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. The Inc reminded me of how out of place they looked in all of their adventures in the past. Nicely done. I can't comment on the Android app as both Linda and I are iOS users. Translation? Apple fanboys. We owned the original 128K baby Mac and worked our way up from there. So we've got history with them. That said, if you want to try the app out, you can install the Android emulator on your computer. I'll send a link with the instructions along. My author spotlight this time is Karen Monning, focusing on her Highlander series. Set in the Scottish Highlands, this series focuses on a family of druidic origins, each member a finely sculpted warrior of almost demigod stature and their mission through the centuries to maintain the wall between our world and that of the Tuatha de Dennen, the Court of the Fay. Throughout their adventures, we encounter many women of beauty and intelligence who ground their warriors and keep them focused on their mission. And in keeping with great romance, the love scenes are steamy, erotic and reality-defying. I really wish I could get Linda to take time off from her shallow sci-fi to read these. In Hollywood, here's your next blockbuster so you can forget about triplets. Great work on the tightened braid. As I noted in the mobs Facebook page, the suspense is killing me, kind of like the suspense I continue to have about episode 200. Hope all is well with you and the mob and that everyone has a splendid April 1st. Take care. Your voice is ever so beautiful. Always nice to hear. That was fantastic. That was so great. That was so great. That was so great. Yes. We totally want to party with you Linda. Yeah. I hope you two yutes get to spend a little more time together. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. You deserve it. Yeah, absolutely. And to be fair, we haven't got to try...well, we're in exactly the same boat, right? Although we can't claim apple allegiance for so long. Yeah. Since we've joined. Yeah. We do not have any Android apps. Yes. But I will check out the link that you did send along and I appreciate that. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. I believe we released 200, right? Well, I don't understand this 200 talk. Anyway. Maybe he was good enough. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. Mm-hmm. I know that you guys are so super busy this year, but it is so nice to see you when we can. Thank you. We notice. Are you a dassy? Hope. Hope. This week, J.R.D. finally, finally got around to writing some words for the musical intros I've made for the new segments for horrible histories and Doc Azriel. Mm-hmm. And the outstanding figure. Who, frankly? He doesn't even know that we've done it yet. Oh, yeah. The other two gentlemen we've confirmed that they like their text. So, I think, honestly, what we should do is send it to them and get them to record it, and then we'll add it to their music. Oh, yeah. That would be best. That'd be good. We're a little time sensitive this week, so we need to probably release this before that'll be done, but I'm very happy to hear it. Yes. Yeah. It definitely is moving along. So, I'll get, well, yeah. Tomorrow, I will confirm with you all. Mm-hmm. We'll make magic. Oh. Oh. Never raised you. So, I've actually been doing a lot of stuff on Photoshop recently. Mm-hmm. Um, I've done a, I've recently done a background for Blackhall. Mm-hmm. That, uh, I guess we'll put on the mod or something. It's so epic and original and awesome. I think you guys are gonna love it. I just need to figure a way to put it on the site on flashball.com in a way that is easily navigated, but I would like to start a sort of propaganda section, so. Yeah, well, um, you know, we'll just have something free to download for anybody who cares to see it. Yeah, I think it looks really fantastic. Yes. Well, that actually started because I recently have gotten my Photoshop all set back up since my computer died, um, I just got a whole bunch of new brush sets and palettes for Photoshop, which I'm really, really excited about using. Mm-hmm. They're awesome. Yeah, I've been taking, um, each individual set and making a little sample of the brushes. I've been posting those samples on my website at, uh, www.opoponoxfeathers.wordpress.com. Mm-hmm. I think if you put the www upfront, you may actually cause problems. It's just a OpenX feather. Oh, is it? Okay, well, it's funny that you would know better than I do, but, um, it's also interesting that we're talking about that, because, um, I was actually discussing with GRD recently that we were thinking of maybe merging those two sites. Mm-hmm. So there would no longer be in a OpenXfeathers.wordpress.com, but there would be a separate OpenXfeathers area on the Flashpulp site, I suppose. Yeah. And, uh... A one-stop shop. Are you excited about the idea of... Yeah, well, I mean, I'm already getting a lot more numbers than I did ever since I started people actually updating my site. Yeah. There was a good year where I didn't do anything, so, um, I'm trying to keep that up. Backroom plots. Alright, well, first up front, uh, my music shared out for the week. I've been writing a lot of different stuff. Little mulligan, uh, little black haul, a little coffin, actually. We'll see more of that next week. Um, so my musical tastes have been all over the place, but... Something I'm particularly excited about. Uh, I don't even know exactly how to... Yaman Taka/SonicTitan? I'm sure it'll be in the show notes. Yeah, it'll absolutely be in the show notes. Uh, here's a little taste, I guess, just gonna... ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Ooh, I like it. So, obviously, that's maybe a little more coffin-y than black haul, but... Uh, we did complete this exporter. Before we get off the music, I wanted to, uh, just mention that I've noticed that... You don't just listen to, like, a particular kind of music for whoever's story you're listening to. When you get to, like, a certain point in the story, or, like, the end, where you're like, "Oh, crap, I need to see the deal." You'll go till, maybe, to, like, maybe a different genre entirely, but it will be of this certain vibe that'll just, like, you know, or it'll be, like, drums and... Yeah, yeah, that's true. It depends on what I'm trying to accomplish. Sometimes, if I'm sitting down at the start of the story, I need to just get in the headspace of whatever the tail is. But then, when I'm near the end of it, and I'm well settled, but I really need to, you know, convey action or epicness or whatever. There might be, like, a head nod, but there's never, like, hand drumming or air guitar. And generally, you know, when there's a lot of flow and you're into it, there's, like, there's sounds like... And then, like... And then your leg will be shaking, but just, like, vibrating. I have to say, more than any story that we've done, I felt physically tired after doing the Titan Brain for some reason. I don't even know. I just got really... A lot of what went into that had been stuff that had been kicking around the notebook for so long that it was kind of tense for me to feel like I pulled it all off, but... I remember, like, you were sick while you were writing that, and one of your worst days was one of the days that you wrote the episode with Mary. Not to give any spoilers or anything, but I remember the next day when it came to recording, you were just so disheartened because you were completely out of it. You were totally, like, knocked on your ass by the drugs. Yeah, well, the day I wrote it was that weird burst of energy you'll get right before you get really sick. Like, that last gasp your body seems to give to... And you were so concerned, and I thought it was hilarious because I loved that episode. Well, by the following day, when we were doing the last of the edits, I was so tired, I could not imagine having ever written anything good. So you just doubted... Yeah, everything beyond the edge of the bed, which was essentially my horizon of... And at that point, you couldn't even, like, re-read it and know that it was good because you were so far out of it that you were... Yeah, those edits were just trying to get through. That's one thing that kind of sucks about such a tight schedule with not having a lot of time. It's like, everything has to go smoothly in order for everything to fall in place. Like, there's not a whole lot of celebration. There might be a little bit of relief after, like, a six-parter and, like, "I've done it. It's done." But by the next day, you're like, "Oh, it's crap! Oh my God! And it's out of the world!" We spend most of our time just feeling like crap because we're trying to catch up with this timeline that we've made. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. Wanting to be ahead. Yeah, you're always threatening to be there. No, but I'm just saying, like, we don't really step back and just, like... Anyways, I wish that... I think that's something that we should do. Yeah, no, I'm not all that interested in basking in our own glory. I just want to get to the next door. Well, I think there should be some reflection. I think you're a little too tough on yourself. There's a part in Alice through the Looking Glass where she's running a race with the Red Queen, I believe. And they're just standing running on the spot the whole time. And Alice asks her why they're just running standing on the spot and she said, "Oh, well, you have to run like this just to keep up if you wanted to get ahead why you'd have to run twice as fast." While I see your point, I would go the other way with the less classy reference and say that it's more like Conan at the Gris Mill. And that, although many are at the bar pushing the wheel at the moment, we will hopefully be the one that ends up... Not dying. Persevering. And with a Schwarzenegger physique from the late '70s. Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that we should lessen it. I'm just saying that when it's not in perfect order because, like, your brain falls apart one night, I think you are definitely getting better at just being a little more relaxed. Like, it's okay, we'll just... we'll reschedule, we'll get this done. We also, as I mentioned, did a mulligan too. Mm-hmm. That was fun. It was fun. Actually, after doing the six-parter, especially with those last couple of pieces, except for the very end of part six, there wasn't a whole lot of dialogue for a bit of that black hole. Yeah. And it was nice to go into a piece that was essentially all dialogue. And I love me some mulligan too. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it was fun. I've never heard that. It was new information. We actually mentioned that on the mob a little while ago. Not that I loved mulligan, but the episode. Everybody else. The mob knows that I love mulligan. But I had posted something in the mob that said if anybody could figure out the link between the serials. Um, if anybody can message me on Facebook and tell me that they know... Or you know, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um, tell me if they can figure out the link between two of the serials. One is mulligan. And, um, one of our mobsters messaged me and said, "Oh, I think it's a throwback to the episode with the rhino killer, right?" And yes, that's a very good observation, but that is not the link between serials. Oh, yeah. For the rhinos. The rhino story was in the mulligan series. There's actually a link between the mulligan series and another series. So if anybody can tell me what they think it is... Yeah, that's Mulligan Smith and making the call. Yes. Um, and if anybody can send that to me, I told them I'd draw them a little something special. Mm-hmm. Finally, we also put out a, uh, a spectacular failure, which was a fun special episode to do. Oh, that was so much fun to do. Uh, a return to Flashcast 40. Yeah. And, uh, Sergeant Spectacular. From Nutty. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the character was inspired by Nutty. Yeah, we had, uh, the last installment was, um, I think, from the point of view of Sergeant Spectacular's girlfriend. Alexis. Alexis. Yeah. Being kidnapped by Dr. Monsterus. Dr. Monsterus is just great. Um, but this one was a lot of fun to do because I got to do so many extravagant voices. Mm-hmm. Uh, and I got to do sort of the same thing and going a little bit more over the top than I usually do. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I loved the clockwork apes. Yeah. Yeah. There's parts of that that I really visually enjoyed. Yeah. And Sal. Who you told me was essentially, uh, Will Mart Mike in a different life. In another dimension. Yeah. Um, that's great. Yeah, so a huge thanks to Nutty over at nimlast.org. Thanks, Nutty. Mm-hmm. We like playing with your dolls. Yeah, play with your toys. There were a few inspirations that go into Flashbulb, or that originally kind of came together to inspire Flashbulb. Mm-hmm. And, uh, Marvelous Bob. Have we ever discussed Marvelous Bob? I think we have. From, well, back in the day on the intertubes, uh, Michael Bornaro. Mm-hmm, wow. Put together this, yeah. Uh, it's been many years now, I guess. Uh, put together these pieces called these Marvelous Bob stories. Mm-hmm. And they're each sort of a look at a very realistic, but I don't know. Who would you, I almost watched many in a sense, but as if it was about Superman. Mm-hmm. There were quality pieces of work. And, uh, unfortunately Michael, uh, did himself under. That's okay. On his 20th birthday. But a lot of that worked. So it was hard in me. Yeah. It went to, he definitely inspired me in some ways to get the flashback ball rolling. Mm-hmm. So it was fun to do something that felt a little closer to that universe than... Anyway, on that up note, uh... Oh, I just, that totally reminded me of that part from Making the Call. She signs every note with a ending make, whoa. Yeah. That's so great. Uh, uh, okay, well, remember to stay tuned at the end for the book club. Mm-hmm. And, uh, let's give our big thanks to Lord Jim over at relicradio.com. Thank you, Jim. For hosting Wicked at flashbob.com and flashbob.com. Absolutely is. Enjoy the show? Tell a friend. Really enjoy the show. We've got a donate button on the site, and we certainly appreciate when you use it. Uh, if you have comments, questions, or suggestions, you can find us at flashbob.com. Or email us text me on p3s to comments@ flashbob.com. Jessica Mays of local talents and musical sounds can be found at maytunes.com. Opopes, art, and business can soon be found at flashbob.com. Mm-hmm. But in the meantime, it can be found at... Opop and ask feathers that work, best.com. Thank you. The entire run of flashbob can be found at flashbob.com or via the search bar in iTunes. Flashcast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution and commercial 2.5 lessons. [music]