Part 1 of 1
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Tonight, Ruby gets to know her new traveling companions as they move along a highway infested with the undead.
The Skinner Co. Network
138 - Ruby Departed: Loverboy, Part 1 of 1
(upbeat music) - Welcome to Flashpop episode 138. Tonight, we present Ruby Departed, Leather Boy, part one of one. This week's episodes are brought to you by Nandy Bytes. Wake up, go to work, work, come home, eat dinner, rot your brain out, go to bed, lather, rinse, repeat. Are you tired of an old, home drum life? Tired of things that just weigh you down and depress you? Aren't you rather just focused on things that are awesome? Tune in to Nuddy Bytes, find out what's awesome. Nuddy Bytes, nimlas.org/blog. (upbeat music) Flashpulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age. Three to 10 minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. Tonight, Ruby gets to know her new traveling companions as they move along a highway infested with the undead. Ruby Departed, Leather Boy, part one of one. Written by JRD Skinner, art and narration by Poponax, an audio produced by Jessica May. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - July 30th, The Parkers. Dalton is a ridiculously 50s-style dad, stricter than I like in all the areas that don't mean anything after the collapse of society. Kimberly, his wife, is an easily shaken proto-mom. I'm sure she was very handy at bake sales. Olivia, the daughter, may be the only one with anything close to a chance for survival. Also, she actually recognized me from the days when roller derby existed. How many months ago? Mikey's the son, I'll get back to him. It was easy to convince everyone to go south instead of north. I told them what I'd seen, and it was all the same to them as, and I quote, "They were only going as far as somewhere safe." You and me both, I replied. They had a bomb shelter, a bloody nuclear fallout bunker with enough supplies to last seven years, seven years. Dalton accidentally burnt out the interior trying to fix the dishwasher. Olivia told me the ancient shag carpet in the place went up like a fireworks box full of gasoline. My opinion on the situation would be inappropriate to record in a book they may read after I'm dead. Sorry, parkers, but seriously, wow. So they've been on the road a total of five days now. We're slowly getting to know each other, but things have been oddly tense. Mr. Parker, Dalton, keeps acting like I'm one of his children, including a request to warm some canned food for his breakfast. Ha, it doesn't help, I suppose, that I get asked to watch my language every time a dam slips through it. I need to remember to be patient. It won't last, either they'll change with the world, or the world will change them into tiny ground bits of rotting meat in the gullet of some beer belly dead trucker. We made decent time this morning, or really, we made terrible time, but it was a little faster than I expected with this bunch. Encountering Jerry again almost felt like passing a neighbor on the street, which was odd. He waved, and we waved, and everyone tried to pretend like he hadn't tried to purchase sexual favors just two days previous. At least, until he shouted, offer stands. Still, it was nice while he was keeping his mouth shut. He wasn't the most interesting weirdo of the day, however. Number 73 was a woman in bridal night wear. I don't know how else to describe it. White lace teddy, white stockings, white garter belt, the whole 1980s spiel. We'd been creeping along the blacktop, and we'd opted to skirt a towering RV that had stalled in the leftmost lane. I'd just come around the bumper and motioned for the all-clear when she came stumbling long from the far side. Her veil's still over her face. Overall, she actually looked relatively fresh. I mean, gray, moaning, and empty eyed, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear she'd poisoned herself somehow after everything fell down. I gave her a poke and she collapsed. I felt kind of bad afterward, but I was startled. She had a muzzle on. By the time Loverboy came around the corner, I'd collected myself. Luckily, or it would have been his turn to encounter the welcoming committee. For a long second, we just stared at each other. You can transfer a lot of information back and forth in a short time if you can manage a steady gaze like that. My raised brow told him I was confused. His look of embarrassment let me know that he wasn't entirely beyond humanity. He said, "She got out of her straps." It was not the first question I was looking to have answered. After a second, he tugged up his pants and belted them into place. By then, all he could do was stare at number 73. He started crying. I dropped my face into my palm. The parkers had joined us, and looking at the kids through splayed fingers, I honestly almost bit my tongue and just tried to move everyone along as quickly as possible. But you don't survive the zombie apocalypse with baby soft hands. What's going on here, demanded Dalton? He's a necrophiliac, I replied. Paul Parker thought twice after that before asking any further stupid questions. But weirdness threw the whole clan into a panic. It began to huddle close, with Dalton swinging his head constantly around like the dead folk were about to leap the vehicles surrounding us on motorbikes and ninja us to death. They squished themselves flat into the grill of the RV and right up behind me. That's when I realized that little Mikey wasn't only hovering close for comfort. He was taking the opportunity to put his hand on my ass. I gave him a shot of elbow to the ribs and stepped towards the lover boy. Huh? I asked. She was gonna be my wife. (footsteps) How? I'm very careful. Yuck. I meant was she going to be your wife before she died? Or no, she caught my eye in the crowd. What about bodily fluids and exchanging? I've looted my share of convenience stores. Not like we can kiss anyhow. Not with her always trying to eat my lips. I put a hand on Mikey's shoulder. Better start taking notes, kid, I said. It's a nice RV. It fits the five of us well. I hope lover boy finds a decent place to sleep. (upbeat music) Flashpulp is presented by http colon slash slash skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flashpulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)