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Tonight, the Collective Detective finds itself investigating the loss of an Internet icon.
The Skinner Co. Network
128 - The Absent Idol: a Collective Detective Chronicle, Part 1 of 1
[music] Welcome to FlashPulp episode 128. Tonight, we present The Absent Idle, a collective detective chronicle, part one of one. This week's episodes are brought to you by the FlashPulp Facebook page. Join now and get half off the cost of your next free FlashPulp episode. Find it at http colon slash slash bit.ly slash CBK YV2, or search for FlashPulp in Facebook. [music] Sunday is gloomy, my hours are stumbled. Give it the shadows I live with are stumbled. [music] FlashPulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age. Three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. Tonight, The Collective Detective finds itself investigating the loss of an internet icon. The Absent Idle, a collective detective chronicle, part one of one. Written by JRD Skinner, art and narration by Opoponax, and audio produced by Jessica May. [music] The 2nd of January, welcome bot, welcome to hashtag CD chat harassment. Frame scalpel, I'm not saying most of her fans were following her for the right reason, but honestly her ability to cut clips in a way that fit her music was fantastic. She was, like, a combination of the loneliest monks' sense of timing in Banksy's sense of humorous visuals with a message, Mitch Slapp. And there was also her overdeveloped rack, harassment. Stick it welcome bot, frame scalpel. Hey Harris, just explaining to Mitch Slapp why idle-chan was so great. Harrisment, I was kind of under the impression it was the amount of cleavage she showed in her video blogging. Frame scalpel, screw you guys. Harrisment, ha kidding kidding, lady like that wouldn't continue to have the following she does if she hadn't had some talent. Mitch Slapp, I'm sticking with my theory that she's actually a fake personality spike Jones used, but seriously, at this point, don't you think the only reason anyone remembers her is because of the mystique of her disappearance? Frame scalpel, no, Harrisment, I do think that's part of it, but scalps as a point. She is still a person I start throwing out links to when I find someone who's under the impression that the vidder community is all crappy dance music layered over badly edited anime clips, frame scalpel, w-t-f, Harrisment, ha, I don't mean you're badly edited anime clips, frame scalpel, Harrisment, joking, you know I'm a fan of your work, Mitch Slapp, whatever, how far into your search have you gotten, frame scalpel, well, I've been through all her email addresses, her twitter account, and her facebook communications, she had thousands of followers and chatted with nearly anyone who'd send her something, but everything was routed through an encrypted anonymizer service, which I have yet to break, and I can't find a single message that I can trace back to a meat space friend, I still have no leads as to who she really was, Harrisment, well, don't take it too hard, if you did know who she was, we wouldn't be having this conversation, I'm between tasks at the moment, I can land you hand if you like, frame scalpel, sure, I'd appreciate it, Mitch Slapp, well, a few ladies are gonna spin your wheels on this, I may as well crack the case for you, send me what you got, the 5th of January, 2 frame scalpel at the collectivedetective.com, from Harrisment at the collectivedetective.com, subject idlechan clue, hey, I think it may have found something, I was watching video number 23, the one in the park, and I finally caught a break, there's a moment where she's busy talking about how little respect she gets from idiots on YouTube, and a guy with a dog jogs by, she mentions how cute the mud is at 236, then she swings her phone around to record its passing, if you look closely, you can catch a glimpse of the city skyline over top of the trees, I know you were thinking she was from New York, because of her accent, but that's totally the trans-america pyramid, she's got to be from San Francisco. You weren't around in the channel, so I passed the info on to Mitch, he seemed to think he could make some use of it, although, of course, he wants to play king and keep his hunches to himself. Still, who knows, that tool might come up with the next piece. I'm gonna see if I can figure out which park she was recording in, the timestamp says it was around lunch on a Tuesday, maybe it's somewhere near where she was attending school. I feel like we're getting close. Harris. The 8th of January. Two, harassment at thecollectivedetective.com. Mitch Slapp at thecollectivedetective.com. From FrameScalple at thecollectivedetective.com. Subject, just got back. Hi, sorry about taking so long to reply. First, the Greyhound was late, getting into San Fran. Then, I had to figure out the stupid local transit. Five hours on a bus had me cranking, maybe a bit confused. And I accidentally got on the wrong trolley. After I finally got everything figured out, I had to walk another half hour to her house. It looks a lot like the street view, but it seemed bigger, and a little more run down in real life. I'd imagine a lot of possibilities before knocking on the door. I mean, it's been years since Idol Chan's last video, so she'd be in her late 20s now. But the old woman who answered wasn't what I expected. I knew the address was right. I'd been staring at it long enough to have it permanently burnt into my brain. But all I could come up with when the lady answered the door I was, "Hi, is Lara here?" And she says, "Speaking!" I nearly fell over. But the woman had Idol Chan's eyes, and it was then that I realized she must have been named after her mom. We talked, and I explained about the search, and how Mitch had plowed through reams of yearbooks to find her. That's when I started cluing in on how little Miss Dunning knew about the level of fame her daughter had, and has, online. Even after my story, I'm not sure that she really got it. Actually, at first she seemed pretty weirded out by my even being there. But once she realized I wasn't some crazy from the internet, she wanted to talk about things. Eventually she showed me around the house. The last room she brought me to was Lara's. It's a time capsule, really. It's got all these stuffed kittens on the bed. I met. We both ended up crying. The theories are wrong. She wasn't spiked Jones in disguise. She wasn't killed in a car accident. She wasn't kidnapped, and she wasn't hired away by MTV to do video production. Mrs. Dunning explained to me that she'd been sad for a long time after the move from Brooklyn. That she'd never really made any friends once they'd relocated. That she was lonely. On her 18th birthday, with her net down and leaving only a short soggy note for her mom, she grabbed a bus and jumped from the Golden Gate. After a while we both dried up, and I just kind of drifted out the door. As she said goodbye, Mrs. Dunning seemed to take a little comfort in the fact that online, her idle chance legend lives on. I'm going home now, but if it's all this in you guys, I'd like to leave this case open indefinitely. F.S. Flashpulp is presented by http colon slash slash Skinner dot FM. The audio and text formats of Flashpulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license. the the