Part 3 of 3
Find the full text at http://skinner.fm
Tonight, Joe learns the terrible truth about Lol, planet of the cactus people.
The Skinner Co. Network
081 - Joe Monk, Emperor Of Space: Groupthink, Part 3 of 3
[ Music ] Welcome to Flashpop Episode 81. Tonight, we present Joe Monk Emperor of Space, Group Think, Part 3 of 3. [ Music ] [ Music ] Flashpop is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age. Three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. Tonight, Joe learns the terrible truth about Lowell, Planet of the Cactus People. Joe Monk Emperor of Space, Group Think, Part 3 of 3. Written by J.R.D. Skinner, Art and Narration by Opoponix, and Audio produced by Jessica May. [ Music ] Joe was on the roof by himself for quite a while. After the tower fell, his Scarlet Cloud companion had spent ten Earth minutes berating him in a variety of buzzes and hums. As the human did nothing in response but stared him with a slack jawed expression on his face, the elevator operator had eventually made a cross-limbed gesture, which Monk could only assume was rude, and then disappeared back into the box. Realizing there was no other exit, Joe had kicked the downed antenna, stubbing a toe in the process, then used the toppled rod as a seat. He still held out some small hope for a victory parade. After a time, he became convinced that the elevator operator was a spy for whatever evil puppet master was running the planet's zombies, and he was sure his best chance was that a resistance of newly freed cactus people would spontaneously rise up, rescue him from his perilous perch, and then praise him as their savior. While he savored the daydream, two round robotic drones topped the edge of the building and began to fly in slow circles, the shining lenses at the center of their metallic bodies focusing on his movements. An hour later the elevator reopened, depositing Macbeth onto the rooftop. His claws ground against each other as he approached. "I told you to stay in your room," he said. The severity of the situation was made obvious to Joe by the trilling notes in his friend's voice. When Macbeth was truly angry, his English accent became increasingly worse. In this case, it sounded as if he were speaking through a flute. "I was just trying to help. These people are all zombies. Some sort of evil hive mind has control of them." Joe stood, approaching one of the two cactus people in blue who accompanied Macbeth to the roof. Momming to the cacti that it should spin in place, he tugged at the collar of its overalls, revealing the metallic disc with its blinking green light. The light was now dark. "I saved these people!" The grinding of Macbeth's claws doubled, and the human could clearly see flakes of chitin falling from his pincers. "You saved nothing, you jerk! I told you before that these people are on a very long life cycle. They sleep ten of your years at a time. Fine if you're on a world with no other higher life forms, and you can just nap for a decade, save behind your spines. But these people have lives to lead, and they need cold, hard cash to do it. So why not work it off?" Monk's face cladded with confusion. "These folks are all slumber-leber," Macbeth continued. "They open the doors, they run the elevators, they even drive the cams, and they're all controlled by a central computer that you'd be shocked twenty times before you could even sneeze on. That's why the repair work is so good and cheap. It's all computer-controlled. You managed to wake up a five-block radius or so, and you're incredibly lucky that a runaway taxi, your startled nanny, didn't accidentally kill someone. "I...but I..." Joe attempted to interject. "No, no buts. You've not only lost these people some pay, but you've acted out the equivalent of running into someone's bedroom in the middle of the night, shouting "Ughabuga!" "You're going to need to apologize big time to these guys, and we can only hope that they don't sue you for their missing income. If they do, you may need to get a sleep job yourself." The eyes at the end of Macbeth's dual stalks shrank to a slit. I happen to know a place that pays well for exotic species dancers. ♪♪♪ FlashPulp is presented by http colon slash slash Skinner dot FM. The audio and text formats of FlashPulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ (upbeat music)