Part 1 of 1
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Tonight we once again present a tale of Mulligan Smith, as the PI gives a friend a lift home.
The Skinner Co. Network
070 - Mulligan Smith and The Homecoming, Part 1 of 1
[music] Welcome to Flashpulp Episode 70. Tonight, we present Mulligan Smith and the Homecoming, Part 1 of 1. [music] This weeks episodes are brought to you by the piratical talk of CaptainPikart.com. As the captain himself once said, "Within, ye may discover the valiant nature of myself and a select number of me crew, as we face the vilest foes upon the open waves. I brings ye tales or battle with giant terrapins, a colossal crab, the tender love of a mermaid, terror from the skies, fear from below, the dangers of poppy, the joys of rum, and much, much more." Find it all, and more, at CaptainPikart.com. [music] Flashpulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age. Three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. Tonight, we once again present a tale of Mulligan Smith, as the PI gives a friend a lift home. Mulligan Smith and the Homecoming, Part 1 of 1. Written by J.R.D. Skinner, Art and Narration by Poponax, an audio produced by Jessica May. [music] Billy Winnipeg stood, his back to the white curtain wall. His nose was leaking blood, and he could feel swelling beginning in his sprained left ankle. Popping his knuckles, he eyed the two approaching men. He knew he was lucky that the pair hadn't jumped him already. They would have been quicker about it if it wasn't for the wreckage strewn around the room, and the groans of the incapacitated on the floor. Running his forearm across his face, Billy was grateful that the place had at least emptied out quite a bit once he'd made his bellowing declaration of aggression. He hated pummeling family. Billy and Mulligan had driven the 500 miles of road from Montreal to Winnipeg's home in record time. At first the big man had asked to make every possible stop. Roadside eateries, bathroom breaks, coffee, scenic lookouts, anything with a sign. As they'd grown closer to their destination, however, the mountainous Canadian had insisted on speed. Smith's patience with the rambling hurricane had been growing short, but he'd had no interest in pushing the tricell to the limit, only to have some po-dunk connect officer pull him over and discover a wanted man in his car. Look, the PI had opened. I'm going to give you a lift home, and I'm probably going to end up having to wave all my fees, as your mom hasn't called me in days, but I'm about done breaking laws on your behalf. I've never broken a law that didn't deserve to be, Winnipeg had replied. What about clobbering your mom's boyfriend? All right, I did that, but he deserved it. And the car, he says you stole? I don't know nothing about that. I wouldn't want that friggin' clunker anyhow. That's why he deserved it. What about that cop bar you leveled back in capital city? Abortion is a woman's right to choose. Fellows, especially the officers of the law, ought to have a little more respect in the way they carry on in a public place. Mulligan had let the speedometer doing the talking from there on. Winnipeg knew it wasn't going to end well as far as he was concerned. He'd already had it out once with his mother's bow, Tony Bathus, who he refused to call anything but Mr. Bathus. In two years previous, he'd seen Uncle Mitch lift a full-grown cow from the ditch, where he'd broken its leg, using nothing but his massive arms and gumption. Billy eyed his mom in her white dress, and felt a moment of regret. Seeing his son-in-law's distraction, the groom rushed him. Mulligan stepped into the reception hall, a slippy in his hand. "You've ruined the most important day in your ma's life," Uncle Mitch said, approaching with arms extended to get a hold on his rogue nephew. "You said that the last time she got married," Winnipeg replied, busy in an awkward grapple with her new husband. "You can't go round stealing cars and beating folks up, Billy." "Hey," Mulligan said. There was a brief pause to the combat, and Uncle Mitch stopped short of his objective. "I just got off the phone with the police. We got the whole car thing cleared up." The Winnipeg family were brought to a halt, although Bathus continued to struggle in Billy's grip. "Clear it up?" Mitch asked. "Yeah, well, I guess that makes it sound a little easier than it was. See, after dropping off Billy here at the wedding, I headed over to the future residence of Mr. and Mrs. Bathus. You Canadian sure are trusting, folks. The door was unlocked and everything. I thought I'd just poke on in and see if I couldn't, you know, spread some flower petals around or whatever. As a welcome back for the honeymooners. Funny thing about your wedding day, it's the one time even an addict will leave their cell phone at home. I happened to see it out on the bedroom dresser, so I figured I'd give it a look through. Bathus, stop struggling." "Oh, I know it's not any of my business. I hope you pull like Canadian folk will forgive an American showing up and barging around like he owns the place, but I noticed a specific set of digits that Tony here dialed fairly regularly. I decided to see who was so interesting, and it happened to be a sweet voice lady on the other end." Ma Winnipeg, her makeup having been mostly washed away by tears, stopped crying. All eyes were on Mulligan. Mozzied on over after a reverse look up, and whammo, parked on the dead grass in the backyard was a 2003 sunfire GT with the plates off. Mulligan took a long draw at his coloured straw. Your girlfriend seemed pretty mad that she wasn't invited to the wedding, but the local police were happy to have a grand theft auto, or whatever you folks up north call it, off the books. There was a low growl from the head table, and the air was suddenly full of flower arrangements and half empty wine glasses. Mother Winnipeg had brought herself to her full height, and Mulligan realized where his travelling companion had gotten his jeans. As Ma rolled up the sleeves of her wedding gown, Billy dropped his arms to his side. He knew when to mind his own business. Flashpulp is presented by http colon slash slash Skinner dot FM. The audio and text formats of Flashpulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons attribution non-commercial 2.5 license. [Music] [Music] You