The Trev and Ben Podcast
238: The Trev And Ben Podcast Episode 238
(upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to another Travin' Bend podcast. Hello, Ben. - Hello, Trav. - How are you? - I've had a bit of an up and down start to the week. - Have you? - Yeah, basically I went out a couple of nights ago for a bit of a drink session with a mate. Oh, here we go, here we go. It's all self-inflicted, is it? - Well, yes, but not in the way I was expecting. I can survive a hangover, I've done that before. But the problem this time was we went through, you know, a nice little day out and we started off with a nice gentle moonly game of darts. We thought that'd be a bit of fun. - Yeah, how did you get on, by the way? - Well, thank you for asking, 'cause now it's not gonna look like I crowbar'd in. I won six-one. - Okay, you know what you say? It was six games to one, five-o-one down. - That's the one. - What was your biggest outshot? - Oh no, it wasn't a high, well I'm no good at that high clearance stuff, no, no, no. So it all went down to what, double one? - Yeah, the problem I had, we did a few times ago, so, you know, one double one required. My mate was much better at racking up big numbers. - Yeah. - But I was better at hitting the doubles to finish. So he was stalling at the end and I was catching up slowly. And then so I sort of edged it, but it was a close game even though the score was big. And then we went to a nice German pub, very traditional place with all the nice wooden benches that you sit on. Oh yeah, we were in there for a good few hours. The next day I got out of bed and felt like I'd been hit by a bus. - Okay. - My arse was killing me. I've been limping around today at work. They are quite uncomfortable. Those wooden benches in those German pubs though. If you're in there for a long time, you might have got effectively saddle saw. And my right arm, honestly, I can barely stretch my arm out. And so I've injured myself, playing about 90 minutes of darts and sitting on my backside. Is this what it comes to in life when you get to that age where you're just injured by existing? - Well, I think what's interesting is the times you've knocked darts players when I've talked to you about the darts, and you've got, that's not a sport. They're not athletes. And what have you done? Seven rounds and you're out. These guys are playing for hours on the hockey. And that's why they've got to be fit, Ben. That's why they've got to have the stamina to go on. And you've done a few throws and you're out of action. It's pathetic. - It gave me a newfound respect for darts players actually, because seeing how utterly hopeless I was, getting a dart vaguely where I wanted it to go, I thought actually there's a lot more to this. So I should probably start taking the stop, I should say, taking the piss out of them quite so much. It looks as though it should be so easy, doesn't it? I would have been satisfied and I did it a few times, not hitting the, you know, 180, but just landing three darts in the same segment, just hitting the number 23 times, doesn't sound too difficult. I managed it maybe twice all day. It was a very eye opening to how shit I was. So I've started the week injured, he goes a little bit bruised. - Yeah. - I've gone to work today and thankfully, because a year has now passed, I've been given my driver's license back by the lovely people at the DVLA. - Oh, how exciting. So you're back on the road, but where are the people of East Christian? - So I have been returned to the same thing I was supposed to be doing a year ago. I've been doing something else for a year without a driver's license, but now I'm back on my old patch. - Oh, but we all gang glad to see you back. Was it lots of, oh, welcome back, Benny boy. - Unbelievably. - Yes, I had, I'm not exaggerating. I had about five or six different interactions with people who said, oh, I didn't even recognise you. You're looking so well. - No. - You're looking all, have you been on holiday? I thought for a year. (laughing) I've been on holiday for a year. I didn't say that. I just said, oh no, no, I've been away. I'm back now, I'll be here for a while. And I said, oh, don't you look lovely and brown? Aren't you tan? Your hair's come back lovely. You're looking so well. I thought, how the shit did I look to begin with? This is an inflated response to me just sort of turning up to work. Yeah, I mean, if I saw a postman after, I might say hello, but I don't think I'd go on about his looks. The first time it happened, I thought I was, I was thinking, oh, that's a bit much, but I mean, bless him. By about the fifth or sixth time, I was strutting around East Quincy thinking I was the bollocks. Honestly, my ego was getting over inflated. I bet the pain in the arse and the pain in the arm were a little less, weren't they? The adrenaline of the ego boost kicking in. They were a distant memory until I'm doing handstands. So I'm swaggering around, you know, I'm almost sort of dancing around East Quincy at this point. That could be your thing. The dancing posting. The dancing posting. That could be the thing that elevates you above other posters, 'cause you don't see that sort of thing. I've never seen a postman dance. I think there was a post he got quite famous for viral for singing, wasn't there? The singing post he or something like that? Oh yeah, yeah, but I mean, that would go on your tits, wouldn't it? I mean, yeah. And when I say dance, I don't know who tap dance, I don't know if it's noisy. I was just annoyed people. Yeah, but if you were to, I don't know, a hop skip and a jump along the road. Yeah, go, there's a Johnny, there's a Johnny post. I mean, it would piss me off after a while, 'cause I think everything pisses me off after a while. I'd be like, just fucking stop that. Put the fucking letter through the letter box and stop pirouretching around. So, the day then, postman pirouret, the day comes to an end. So, obviously my head, I'm thinking, I'm not gonna fit through the front door when I get home, 'cause my ego's going through the roof. And I see a lovely lady who often walks around a certain part of town with a little girl, and her little girl is another one of my big fans, it turns out. She said, "Oh, we've missed you, post teachers, "been asking after you, where have you been? "You're a favorite." I said, "Oh, isn't she lovely?" She doesn't really, but anyway, go on and do that. (laughing) And she told me all about how she's starting big school soon. I said, "Oh, that's exciting. "Get to meet lots of new friends." And then she says, "You look different." And I'm thinking, "Okay, there's room "for another passenger on this train of my ego, "which would have to add a new carriage at some point "to the back of his train on the compliment express." (laughing) So, me feeling like Cloud Knight at the moment, I said, "Oh, all for the better, I hope, all good, is it?" And she went, "Hmm, I said okay." She said, "Are you wearing lipstick?" And that was the pop to the balloon of my ego. Question, though, Ben, were you? No, this is a new part of your personality that's coming out. I tell you something else was quite unlucky that did happen to me in the last sort of 48 hours. And this is going to sound like I'm making this up, but I'm not. I woke up in quite a lot of pain that wasn't to do with the bicep or the arse. It was, I woke up to being to realizing that I'd been bitten on the lip by some sort of mosquito or insect. So my lip swelled up really quite badly. So it kind of looked like I had terrible collagen in one side of my lip. But Leslie Ash. Maybe I haven't gone down as much as I thought, but honestly me swagging around thinking, "I'm really big bollocks now. "Everyone's dead. "I can't move. "I can't go five minutes down the road without some sort "of compliment." But just in the end, everyone who's told you how brilliant you've looked all day has been just giving you the sympathy, gobbled up, because your lips are out like Mick Jagger on a bad day. Oh, bless you, look at it, oh, he's in a state. I'll tell him he looks great. So this child absolutely ruined my good day. What is it out of the mouth of babes or whatever they say? Honestly, it's ruined my day. Things with children, they always say, 'cause children do, they say things. It's the truth, they just say it. And you're supposed to not be offended when a child says something like that, but you can't help it. You almost want to give them a little kick. Just say, "Yeah, I was going to say, "Shut up, you're fucking tiny, look at you." Have we now outlawed smacking children in this country, is that? It's definitely frowned upon from parents. I think elsewhere, it's illegal. Yeah, okay. I'm not calling assaults, okay. But if you were just to knock 'em over, accidentally as we walk by. Make it like an accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that I'm condoning that. So, yeah, my week has been topsy-turvy, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions, so we'll see how the rest of it pans down. Anyway, enough about my ego, how's your week been? Oh, Jesus Christ. God, that good. I've had a nightmare, absolute nightmare. I think I might be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, I think from the sort of week I've had. Really? Why? As you may know, Ben, as you might remember, I've had issues with a computer in the last couple of weeks. Yes, and now I'm much more aware of this than most. I mean, the listeners will be aware of your tech issues, but I am very aware because you will not stop-- Whoa, banging on about it. Because it's a fucking nightmare. Dear listeners, let me tell you. Let me tell you, I bought a new computer a little while ago. I won't bore you for two and all of this, but it was very expensive. You bought me with it. It was a very expensive one. I needed it for work, it was a lot of money. I've had it five months, and in the middle of a really important bit of work the other week, it died on me, right in the middle. So, it was a very stressful afternoon, just getting over that. And, basically, it wouldn't turn back on. It would power up and then just give me a black screen, that black screen of death that computers give you. Now, I've come to the conclusion, two things. One, I think it's a very, obviously, modern day, first world problem, but I think the stress and the trauma that you get from having to deal with technology, and we all have to deal with it every day, no matter what you do, I think it's very much the same as like the Neanderthal man who would go out and have to fight a beast, take on a big predator, that sort of stress. The people tell you it's good. I don't believe it. People tell you it's good to have a bit of stress in your life. I don't want any stress in my life. I want a life that is stress free. - Really? - Thank you very much. And I also think that it's like our grandparents' generation who fought and lived through the Second World War, and generations before that who lived through the First World War, I think our war, Ben, our war is with technology, and we are battling every day against this fucking mighty machine that we all have to use. And not just the mighty machine that decides what it's gonna do on a whim. Let's go, "Oh, Trevor, you're in the middle "of a really important bit of work." 'Cause it's like the most important bit of work that you do. I think I'll die now. - No, come on. - Yeah, it might as well. It might as well you could do it right at this moment, right at this moment. I could have done it yesterday. We're giving you a bit of time to sort it out. I could have done it in an hours time when you'd finished the work. But no, I'll do it now. What the fuck are you doing to me? No, but then not only do you have to deal with that, you then have to deal with the fucking morons who run and deal with computers, right? We've all had a computer crash on us at one point or another. Now, surely, Trev, and I don't want to poke the bear surely by your age in life now, you should have learned to save your projects as you go along. - Everything, no. It was, everything was saved. It was all backed up, but then I had to find a way round. I've got an old computer eye to get that out, fire it up. But it could have been even more disastrous if things weren't backed up. So I have learned my lessons from the past on that front. But then you have to have this two and throw with the technical people. And you get two different types of technical support. You get those who are quite helpful. And then the other end of the spectrum is fucking idiots. - Right, I'm wondering who you managed to get hold of. - What to start with? Not too bad. You know, I got through to the technical team. We had a little chat. They got me to do lots of tests on the computer. They came to the conclusion that an engineer should come to the house. I'm thinking brilliant. And so last Thursday, the engineer arrived. John, the savior, knocked up my door. And I welcomed him in. And he was a really nice bloke. He read a nice chat and he sat down. And he said, now I'm gonna try this thing or a memory stick that I've bought. - What? So can I just say, I think it's very odd that they sent an engineer to your house rather than you take it to them. What sort of dodgy backdoor kiosk did you buy this computer from? I thought this is HP, mate. This is what they do. - Well, now I can't say anything live on a high HP and I wouldn't dream of it. But you sort of whoever put rebels in case in the joint. Is it really HP? It's not pH or some knocked off brand you bought. So he arrives, right? And I'm thinking, yes. And he says, I've brought this memory stick. And then he said, the thing is though, it doesn't always work. He said, oh, okay. - Oh, thanks for bringing in it. - So he pops that in. He says, it's not doing what it would normally do. We're not to worry because I've got this other memory stick with another thing on the bar. But that doesn't always work. So he pops that in. That doesn't work. And so the upshot of the day is, there's not really much more I can do now. What I have to do is get HP to send you a memory stick so you can reinstall the operating system. So, okay. How long is that going to take? He said, well, I don't know, but it will come as soon as they can send it. So anyway, the next day, the memory stick arrives. - Again, really helpful advice. It'll come as soon as they can send it. That's what's clear with that up there. - Now, at this moment in time, I was very stressed, very stressed, and I wasn't really considering my carbon footprint on fixing my computer. But I did think, did a memory stick with windows on it need to be shipped from the Czech Republic. - Wow. - Surely they could have somewhere in the UK where they could get in from. Think of the carbon footprint of within 24 hours getting a memory stick for the Czech Republic to me. Think of that. It's ridiculous. - Now, obviously, I don't know the ins and outs. I'm not a techy guy, but surely they could have, then with their lovely working computers, they could have sent that information from wherever it was in the Czech Republic, via the internet, to their computer in somewhere near Thornton Heath or Croydon away your base, then they could put it on a memory stick and save the whole shipping of the memory stick from the Czech Republic. - You just thought so, but that's not how the world works, is it? Because the world is not logical. So anyway, I think, oh, this is it, right? So I put the memory stick in, and first thing, it's not gonna load. - Of course. - So I got on the phone to them again. Very calm at this point. I'm calm. I said, I'll go receive that. Thank you for sending me the memory stick all the way from the Czech fucking Republic, but it's not working. Anyway, it talks me through the first bit. So it's like, yeah, it's good, right? So it's all loading up. And then I get to another pivotal point in the process where it says, now you need to get online, but the computer cannot find any networks. It cannot find anything, right? So I phone them up again, and I say to them, yeah, basically it leaves me to get online, but it's not seeing any networks. It's basically not finding any internet protocols at all. And she went, oh, what you need to do is you need to connect it directly to the router. And I said, but you can't, because there's not an ethernet port on the computer, she'll know there is. There's another, there isn't. I'm looking at it right now. There isn't an ethernet port. I'm beginning to get a little bit more stressed. No, there isn't. She went over, there is. I went wrong, I'm gonna have to phone you back then. I'm gonna have to go and find a fucking ethernet cable. Just try it. - And you didn't do that. - Well, I knew it wasn't. The thing was within two minutes of me going, I think I know it's not, so I phone them back. So you, hang on a minute, you knew your computer didn't have this socket on it. - Of course I did, but you still went to look for the redundant cable. - What, just to show it to your laptop? - Well, I didn't at this point, because I came back thinking, I know that this is gonna go to a phone again. And this is the thing when you get to a point where you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And you cannot, I don't wanna be really rude. That's not my persona, right? I don't wanna say to them, you're being fucking stupid. And you get to a point where you say, I cannot go any further with this conversation. So I phone back and I get through to somebody else. And I said, well, I've just spoken to someone. They said, you know, I've got to connect to the router in there and he's an ethernet cable. But I said, there was not anything at all on the computer, so it's not gonna work. And she said, different woman this time. It's not the same woman. She went, get an ethernet cable and put it in. - Oh my. - No, no, there's not anything at port. And she went, no, there is. And I was like, no, there isn't. She went, no, there is. So that point I went, okay, fair enough. And at this point I did go and get an ethernet cable. Just to prove to myself that I wasn't going completely mental. And I literally sat there and you're right. I did show the computer, the ethernet cable. I even put it into the hole that was the biggest hole in the side. Just in case, you know. - In case you've managed to be clicked into place. - I'm even trying to squeeze the fucking thing in. And then I basically wrote a really snottie email and I get a reply in there 'cause I just basically said, I'm not wasting my time speaking to anyone else on the phone. It's a waste of time. So I got a bit, I got a bit RC in the email. I did get a little bit RC and I don't like doing that, but I was at the end of my tether, right? And then the guy sends me an email back, he says, "Dear Mr. Smith, I appreciate the frustration "and disappointment 'cause they were the words "that I'd used a lot and understand the problems." Now this is when, again, the stupidity comes in. I've made it very clear on several occasions now. The main issue I have is I cannot get online. I cannot get online on the computer that I'm trying to mend. It's not possible. So what does he do? He says, "I think what you need is on this link." So I'll tell you, I can't, what, what? What are you sending me a link for? I'll get fucking online, you stupid dick. So there you are, I've got on an old computer download, put on memory stick, but it was like two days of my life getting the fucking thing working. It is unbelievable, but you have to fight and battle every step of the way to get technology to do anything. And I'm so done with it. I started looking this week for jobs without computers because it's like, I don't think I can do it anymore. I literally in the middle of a bit of a breakdown and I'm sure that I'm traumatized by the whole affair. Now it's traumatized me. I really, you're a dear friend of mine and I love you and I want the best for you and I want this situation to be resolved. However, there is a part of me that wants you to send this laptop off to be repaired and then to tell you that your warranty is invalidated because somebody has shoved a cable into it where it doesn't blow or shove it out their fucking arse next time, connect that, you (beep) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) That trip, not to pull back the curtain of our podcast too much because no one wants to see the man behind the curtain. But before we press record, we had a little con-flab and you told me that you were quite stressed out and wanted to talk about it. Yeah, I decided I'd start looking up some helpful suggestions on how maybe you could de-stress. Oh, now this is good 'cause I think I need this 'cause I do find that life is very stressful. I just, everything stresses me out and then I decided to abandon that when I saw that actually, rather than coming up with decent suggestions for de-stressing the AI overview feature. Oh, you're gonna use technology. The thing that's got me to this point to help with a response when I Google things now, like weird questions. The AI of Google now kicks in and it tries to answer it before it provides me with decent information. So I thought I'd share with you what I think are seven tips that you could use to de-stress suggestions by Google's AI overview. Oh, these will be great, weren't they? Jesus Christ, go on. Okay, well, we'll analyze them as we go. You know, you might find them very helpful. I'm likely at this. I'm coming into this with a negative attitude. I'm just gonna warn you. Okay, well, you know, try and be open-minded with a negative attitude at least. Standing on one leg helps you stay. Already, already, bullshit, standing on one leg. Still fucking flamingo. Standing on one leg helps you stay focused and present in the moment. Right. How? How does that make you focus? I suppose it makes you focus so you're not falling over. But all that makes you focus on is standing on one leg. Yeah, and like you say, not toppling. So for however long you can stand on one leg, you might not be thinking about the thing that's really stressing you out, but I'll be getting stressed out about not falling over. That would be because I've got a terrible sense of balance. I can't stand on one leg for long at all. It just, it wouldn't work. It's no good. I've heard a thing about to send to yourself, right? If you're really stressed, you should stand barefoot on a piece of paper or newspaper or something. And the sort of sensation of that on your feet helps to focus you. But I've tried it. And the problem is I cannot turn my mind away from the thing that's stressing me out. So for like 20 seconds, I'm like, oh, that's nice. You know, that's a nice field of paper on my fingers. I'm fucking people, HP. Fucking hell. I'm wrong with them. - You've got to be very careful with that because it might be okay advice on a carpeted floor, but a piece of paper on a hardwood floor with your foot on it. That is a recipe. That is a slipping hazard if ever I've heard one. - Well, that's true. Yeah, I hadn't thought of the dangers of it 'cause I always thought that would be, it would almost be better on a hard floor because there's more of a sensation beneath your feet with the paper being forced into your feet almost by the hard surface. - No, you'll go ass over tick and then you'll have an injured backside. And I'll be two of us with an injured backside. Okay, so maybe with a bang on that one, this next one has a caveat that I think is questionable. I'll let you see if you can spot what I think is the floor with this. Last thing at a joke that isn't funny, this can release endorphins and reduce stress hormones. Now, do you see what I think might be the problem with that? Well, laughing at a joke that isn't funny is it's gonna be a forced laugh. I mean, I don't know whether making yourself laugh forcibly has the same effect as naturally laughing because when you naturally laugh, there's, it is a really good feeling, is it? I mean, I miss the days. I think it's partly a thing of getting older. I don't laugh as much as I used to. I mean, in my 20s and teens laughing all the time, that couldn't stop me laughing. I think since about mid 30s, I think the laughter starts to drop off. Then you get into your 40s and now I'm in the late 40s. And laughter's a rarity. Most of the time, you're just bitter, twisted, angry. Even things that are funny are they go fucking shut up. I'm slightly troubled that you're the sort of downward arc of your happiness. Is it round the time you met me, that never mind? Yeah, I think that's when he started. I think I stopped laughing when I met you. I think that was when the laughter stopped. So why not laugh at a joke you find funny? Why not pick some comedy that you do enjoy and have a genuine laugh? I think there is such a thing as laughing therapy. Yes, there is a thing as a lot as laughter therapy. But I think you have to sort of start by going (laughing) and you have to sort of make yourself go (laughing) that's just, it makes me self-conscious. I don't know doing that. I certainly couldn't do it in a group. You know, when people meet together and do that sort of thing, couldn't do that. Okay, so standing on one leg, that's got to work, laughing at funny jokes. I'm sorry, I'm funny jokes. Give me an unfunny joke. Let's try it. Give me an unfunny joke. Okay, let me just, I'll see what I'll do. I'll go back to my good friend Google AI. Go to AI. Jesus, I'm quickly AI to give you an unfunny joke. All right, an unfunny joke. If it comes back to the Trev and Ben podcast, I'm going to be fucking fuming. (laughing) Tell me an unfunny joke. A man walks into a bar, ouch. It's very, see, I'm not going to laugh with that, because I knew the answer to that. So I knew what was coming. So it wasn't even an element of surprise there. Like sometimes a bad joke, there's an element of surprise, oh, but there wasn't even that. So in fact, this may be more stressed now. Knock, knock. Yeah. No, the Trev, that's not how that goes, mate. I've been fucked. Oh yeah, you say. (laughing) That's how little I care. Knock, knock. Yeah. What, where's my arms if you knock on my fucking door? You don't get all hello who's there, you get what? What the fuck do you want? Who the fuck are you? All right, try this one. 'Cause I don't think you'll know this one. It's not quite. No, I want to know who's at the fucking door. I don't know if we're going to go back to it. Okay. But just try it, 'cause I don't think you'll see this one coming. The bank goes into a bar, ouch. It's all that coming. Fair enough. Let's try this one. I love the mouse. See in the bar, I didn't see that coming, did it? Twat. Now, calm, remember the format of how this joke usually pans out and it helped me out a little bit. All right, yeah, go on. Knock, knock. Yeah, who the fuck is there? Two. No, if this is a fucking L joke, to who? No, to whom? Yeah, but I mean, that just annoys me, 'cause that's, that's, you know, this. That actually made me laugh. That's fucking grammar nazis that would pick you up on that sort of shit. I think it made me laugh at how much it annoys you. So it is, I mean, it's de-stressing me. Okay, well, that's good for you, all right? Okay, well, abandon the jokes. So that's, so laughing at bad jokes isn't helping either. Shall we move on? Yeah, go on, okay. Feeling the grass between your toes can ground you and remind you of care three times. Yeah, well, it's very much like the newspaper in a way in that you're being grounded. I mean, it is nice, isn't it, the feeling of grass beneath your toes on a warm day. If you go out in the garden, you go out barefoot and you walk on the grass. But then you often step on something that is gonna sting you or you stand on a stone. So very quickly, that becomes a stressful thing. But I will grant you that there is some joy to be had with getting your feet on grass. I'll tell you that, yes. You can always try and double up the stress relief by standing on the grass with the bare feet on one leg. Well, we've already gone through the one leg thing. That's not happening, but it, two feet on grass may have some calming effect. I will, I will guess I'll grant that. There's a nice thing, you know, when you've been, I don't know how often you've been camping in your life, Ben. Once or twice, didn't, not a fan. Not a fan. Well, when you go camping, I'm past it now, not doing it now, but in my younger days I did it. And there was something nice about, you know, if it was a really nice day, just sitting out, side to tent with just bare feet on the grass, especially if you're by a river, that's lovely. That is a calming thing. So there was definitely something to be said for feet on grass, I'll give you that. Okay, so we were on to something, but this hasn't been a complete waste of time for a change, we've got something out of this. Yeah. Okay, walking around your office backwards can refocus your mind and ground you back into your surroundings. Again, not sure that, 'cause I think part of the stress is getting out of the office. If you're in the environment where the fucking computer is, then you've got to get away from that because you're constantly seeing it, constantly there, even if you're walking backwards, it's still there. In fact, if you're walking backwards, it's more in your eye, right? 'Cause you're not turning your back to it. So no, I don't see that. And if you're walking backwards, you're going to walk into things, you're going to knock things over. No, I don't see that being a calming thing at all. Again, that's the second tripping hazard we've had from this list of things, supposedly to de-stress you. Okay, a lot of these sound like the start of an episode of a casualty. Caring for a bonsai tree can be relaxing and add some decoration to your workspace. Well, I, again, I would agree for some people, for some people, that would be incredibly relaxing. But I have to say, I find gardening not relaxing at all. Caring for plants, plant life is not stress-free. 'Cause they're a fucking nightmare, temperament only all beings, aren't they? I mean, I can't keep anything alive for too long. So any plant I own has to be pretty self-sufficient most of the time. It will get to the water. Well, I've managed to kill them. You know, I've had cacti that have died 'cause you go, well, they can live with that water for a long time. Yes, but not seven years. So I've got an air plant. I'm looking at an air plant. Right, do you know what an air plant is? Air plants, no. This is one of those things I kind of got strong-armed into buying at my local little shop once. He often sees me coming, right? And he goes, "Oh, why didn't you have one of these?" Well, I'm there. I often come back with shit, I don't know what. And I'm waiting one day when, I don't want to travel. He doesn't know my name. He went, "Oh, you might want to, "oh, we're about an air plant, three quid." I was like, "Yeah, well, 'cause again, "I don't want to get into that thing." I'm like, "No." Sometimes I say to him, "No, well, "he's trying to sell me a lot of stuff." So I know, not today, but I came back with this air plant. Basically, an air plant, I was told, needs no looking after at all. It just sits there, it doesn't need water, 'cause it's an air plant, it just survives on air. But I have to say, is this what you bought the laptop? (laughing) I have to say, I'm not sure whether this air plant is actually alive or dead. It doesn't look healthy to me, considering they always told it needs no looking after. I remember having some bamboo once. I always liked the idea of having some bamboo. This is how bad I am looking after things, right? And so I had this bamboo and it had gone from green into like a, you know, when you buy a bamboo rod, a sort of woody look. And I thought that was a good thing. So I said to someone, I said, "Oh, look at it in the bamboo, "doing well." And they went, "Well, no, 'cause that, it's dead." It goes like that when it's dead. (laughing) - Isn't healthy bamboo supposed to be like green? - Yeah, but I didn't know that. I thought it was healthy when it turned into like, what you would buy, Bambi thought, that's us. That's like it's reached maturity. You've seen it through its young life, its teenage years. And now it's a nice bit of bamboo, the strongest material, almost, no to man. And I thought-- - When it's at the age when you can make furniture out. - Yeah, you know, perfect health. - Oh, I could make a screen, the bamboo screen, and this, it was dead. So that's how, and I find looking after the garden, I mean, I get very stressed, very quickly doing the garden, the stuff just doesn't stop fucking growing. I just wish you'd cut this down once already. Didn't stop growing, that's why it did. And thorns, who the fuck came up with the idea of fucking thorns? Oh, isn't there a rose lovely? Yeah, the rose is lovely. Those are fucking lethal things. We did, I'd tell you what God was having a bad day, that day, wouldn't he? It's like I'm gonna make these lovely fowls. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna put these fucking lethal things on. Let's see where they can rip Trev's arms to shreds. When he's older, they'll be good. We'll make sure that happens. So gardening, not for me. And a bonsai tree, I'd imagine, I don't know, I've never owned one. I'd imagine they're a pain in the arse. I bet they, I bet they're like a tropical fish, which I've had, they're difficult. You know, everything's got to be, like, everything's got to be in the Goldilocks zone for a tropical fish. And I bet it's to say with a bonsai, like if it's a bit too hot, it'll die, bit too cold, it'll die. If the soil's not quite right, it'll die. Not for me, it's stressing me out, just thinking about it. Fair enough. Well, that leaves us with our last piece of advice from Google's AI overview assistant thing. And to be honest, I think it gave up at this point. It's all phoned this one in a bit. It just says, "Screaming can help blow off steam." Well, I mean, it is true, there is, like on Friday, when I was, I think after the second ethernet phone call, there was some primal screaming that took place. And I was stomping around the house. I won't use the words. I've already had to bleep one word out in this podcast. And those might know what that word was, but that was being used a lot. And I was, I did worry, I mean, I think I've talked about this before. Luckily, one side, the neighbor's quite deaf. So I'm hoping she wouldn't hear. But the other side, they would have known that some, I think, you know, when you hear a neighbor that you think, oh, almost a bit terrifying, I'd imagine it would have been. But it did feel good, you do need to release. The thing I remember being told once by someone who'd done a course on, I don't know what, it might have been a primal scream course. And they said, what you have to do is you have to, if you're gonna get your anger or your stress out through vocalization, you have to hit a resonance. So you have to really feel it through your body. And I think when you're shouting the C word at very loud volume whilst beating a box with a stick, 'cause that's what I was doing. Again, what was the box you laptop? No, it was just, it was a cardboard box, you know, and I found a bit of wood. And I was just beating this, living daylights out of a box while shouting the C word. Now, if anyone had walked in at that point, I probably would have been sectioned. But it did help a little bit. So I think there is something to be said for screaming. Sometimes, have you ever done that thing where you scream into a pillow? So, 'cause you can, you know, maps I should have done that on Friday, but I didn't think about that. So the neighbors won't hear you or if they did it, it's muffled, but you're gonna get quite a rock but into a pillow, that's probably quite good. So maybe there's something in that. Maybe I can stand in the garden barefoot screaming. That won't worry the neighbors at all. Do you want me to be a little bit careful? Because of the, I mean, I'm not gonna trash the, again, the area you live in, but it's not, you know, it's not the least dangerous of areas, let's put it that way. But if the police happen to be walking by your property, which is likely, they glanced into your living room and saw the silhouette of you beating something just out of their eyeline repeatedly with a big lump of wood, she repeatedly screaming the seaward. - Yeah. - You might have the sort of, the SAS are your doorstep. Fairly quickly. - To be honest mate, it's the Met police, you can get my own murder. (laughing) (upbeat music) - They've been talking of stressful things. We should really, before we wrap up, just mention the big new story of the week. And imagine the stress this man would have gone through making this call Joe Biden, saying he will not stand for reelection as the American president. - We try not to harp on too much about politics. I don't know, we fall foul of that rule sometimes, but there's been so much massive political news recently. It's been a bit hard to ignore and this is a biggie. - Yeah, I mean, we all knew that there was probably on the cards. The way last week was panning out. It looked like that it was probably more likely. But when I got the bit of breaking news, there was still a bit of like, oh, wow, that's massive. And then I heard Trump's reaction. And from having a sintilla of sympathy for the assassination attempt he had to face last week, my anger was reintroduced towards the man. It no class whatsoever, was it? I mean, he just waited. He broke crooked, but I didn't, you know, he just was just straight on the attack. And the more I thought about it, the more I think how sad the whole situation is because we don't know the facts with Joe Biden, but I would say it's very clear that there is some health issue going on. And I think whenever he's facing, it's a very sad thing, a very human thing that he's having to face in his old age, whether it's, well, let's not even speculate, it's not our job to do that. But there's something not quite right there, even if it's just old age, that he's just tired. He's just worn out. And it's a sadness about that, but it's just the whole sort of attack. It's like seeing the wounded animal and then just going in and spearing it, you know? And I guess that's politics, but my heart sank even further, just thinking, "Oh, this is what it's all about, and it's horrible." I saw something suggesting that he was hoping to get, I don't know if he's actually expecting to get his money back, but he was saying that he wants some of the money back, that he spent on all the sort of campaign material preparing for the sort of a battle with Joe Biden, because now that's all been money wasted. And I thought, "Hmm, I just think you're a bit terrifying "as to who you might face now." But who knows? - Who knows? I mean, it looks like she's gonna become an a Harris now, you know, who will stand and let's just hope, let's just hope that there's, I think the polls aren't suggesting anything other than a Trump win at the moment, but he just hope that maybe there's a chance we can have some sanity in the world. You know, the world is a dangerous place, and I don't think Trump is the answer, and it's scary. It's scary that he's just back with all this, and I think the really scary things, having survived an assassination attempt, and the crazy right-wing evangelical religious bunch who's saying that he was spared by God. They don't give him that complex, this is now a God-given thing that he's gonna become president, and there are people believing it. I mean, you know, I move in some religious circles sometimes in a mysterious way, it has to be said. But I see it sometimes, being talked about, you know, in those terms, oh, he's been saved by it, as he, 'cause I think if there's a God, if there was a God, he might save the man, but you'd sort of think he'd do something to put him off. Yeah, I can't believe God's up there going, "Yeah, Trump's my man." Because if he is, you know, I think I'm voting against God. (laughing) This is the way it's going. - Well, I mean, again, I slightly wondered again this week, did I die at some point in the early 2020s, and have I woken up in some sort of fever dream simulation? - Yes. - Why am I actually watching Hulk Hogan standing as elected, screaming about Trump or maniacs, ripping his shirt off, endorsing Donald Trump for the president? I thought, what happened? And what point did I start glitching? - Well, this is, yeah, if we are a computer simulation, I would imagine it's the same people who've looked after my computer, they've been running it. (laughing) If we are a computer simulation, 'cause something's on drastically, those people, what are they called crowd strike? If they put somebody out, there's fucked everything up. Is that where this whole Trump thing started? I mean, it's scared. I heard that Hulk Hogan was there, but I didn't know he got up and did his whole, he ripped his shirt off and did all that bollocks, did he? - Not only that, you don't know the half of it. They played a big screen video with his entrance music playing. They showed clips of him from his golden years wrestling away. Then he endorsed Trump quite heavily. Then, at some point, he started hulking up and ripped his shirt off to reveal Trump of 2024. And he, oh man, he started talking about Trumpomania and all the Trumpites and what you gonna do, brother? He was fucking going for it. I thought, what am I watching? Can we not call him Trumpites? Can we just call him Trumpites? - I didn't think Trumpites was very good. Trumpomania, 'cause that's got a bit more of a ring to it, but Trumpites is a bit shit, isn't it? (laughing) - Yeah, there's calling Trumpites, they're the Trumpites. They sound like a 1960s backing group, Donald and the Trumpites. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Well, there we are. That's it for another Trevor Ben podcast before we go, as always. I've got some recommendations for you. - What have you got this week? - Across lots of genres this week. I'm gonna start off with a film, 'cause it's a film I love. It's a fairly old film now, but I watched it again the other day. I don't know if I've ever recommended this before, but I watched this film about every two years. Gran Torino, it's just one of my favorite films of all time. - I think I've seen it. - It's Clint Eastwood. - Yeah. - And he plays this sort of grumpy old man, I think I relate to his character, who's very stressed about life, and then he befriends his neighbors, but then he gets angry about things that are happening, and it's just a great film. I think it's definitely one of my favorite Clint Eastwood films that I think he's just brilliant in it. So, yeah, if you've never seen Gran Torino, it was on, I think it's on sky movers at the moment, it's well worth getting hold of it if you've never seen it. - This isn't one of my recommendations, but I think at the moment, your life seems to be representing the Michael Douglas film falling down. - Mm-hmm. - If you've ever seen it. - Yeah, I'm very close, if not, been there. I'm just, I'm staying away from any peers at the moment. (laughing) Just in case. (laughing) It's about Harry Brown's another great film, right? I think we've talked about this before, Michael Caine film. It's sort of the English version of Gran Torino in a way. - Right. - That's another terrific film, that's well worth a lot. - It's playing me in that one, have I seen that one? - Yeah, yeah, he is, that's right. That's another great film again about a man who's quite timid but then gets angry and takes his bloody revenge. (laughing) - What else have you got? - Talking of bloody revenge, a true crime thing. As you know, every week I tend to watch a true crime thing. There's a brilliant documentary, only three parts on Netflix called "I Just Killed My Dad". And it's the story of a young man who called 911 to say that he just killed his father, but there is so much more to the story. And I started watching, it was one of those I put on, for I, it's a true crime thing, but it's as I went to bed. I thought it doesn't, if I fall asleep, it's fine. It's probably not gonna be that good. And it had me gripped. I think I watched all three and stayed up to about half one in the morning 'cause it was just so gripping. - Wow, that sounds good. - And the final thing I'm gonna recommend is on Sky Comedy at the moment, so it'll be on catch-up. Stuart Lee, basically, it's his latest stand-up. It's about two hours with Adverts, but I don't know if you're a Stuart Lee fan, I love him. And he just sit to me, he's getting funnier and funnier as the years go by, and I thought this is his best work yet. - I do like Stuart Lee, but the slight trouble I have is that, and I think he'd hate me because I'm quite a big Ricky Gervais fan. So I do like Stuart Lee, I think he's very funny, but I also think he'd think I was aggressive, so that's fine. - I think you can like the two comedians, though, I think you could like them both, but whether, you know, you're not gonna meet Stuart Lee, and if you do, just don't tell him you like Ricky Gervais. You wanna have a meaningful friendship with him, so. But I do, it's fantastic, it made me laugh a lot, so it was good for me. Good therapy, actually, is what it was. - Good. - So there we are, that's it, thank you very much for listening, don't forget you can get in touch with us anytime, right, show 'em Ben on X, and we'll catch you again next week. Till then, stay safe, stay well, take it easy. - Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)