[music] Welcome to Radio 5G, where we sort fact from fiction, conspiracy from falsehood, reality from the unknown. And by doing so, we change the collective consciousness of humanity. Pay production of cosmicreality.com. [music] Welcome to a cosmic soup, Radio 5G's cosmic soup. My name is Nancy Hopkins, and I have with me Walt Silva. Walt's not normally on this show, he is on three other shows. But the reason I brought him over here is because Nell's Bush is with us. And Bush has felt like the beer with B-U-S-C-H, not the, you know, politician family. The reason I'm doing a live one, because the people that are out there, normally this show, what we do is we put in an hour, the first hour, is somebody else talking. And then we talk about what we just heard. But because I've had Nell's on now, let's see, two other shows, I know that he can talk for two hours, and he's fascinating, and he's one of us. And so I said, "No, let's just do a live show." And because Walt and he got into a really good discussion about human design in the, say, what show. If you haven't heard that, you probably should, because I think we need to know more about human design. I do think it gives us a real insight into who we are and how we are and what we're doing. So I'm going to just say thank you all for being here, and those people that are listening after the fact, you know you're here with us right now. Time does not exist. Okay. Walter, you want to say... Hi. Oh, hello, everyone. Welcome into the show, a different day of the week for me. This is Wednesday for me. But I know we're going to have fun, because Nell is a very special person, so we're going to enjoy his birthday. Nell, do you want to say hi to everybody? Yes, hello, everyone. I am so glad to be here. And I know I'm a new face, new voice in the community, and I am happy to, so happy to have Nancy, Walt, Derek, and Mark as these new friends, although just in a way kind of as a brief history, my knowledge of Shungai and Shungai beehives goes back to like 17, 2017, and at that time in learning about it and making contact, having Facebook conversations with specifically, well, starting with Derek, and then Walt also in answering some key questions I had way back then, but I was peripheral, but just so respected and admired. And like back in 2017, Derek actually talked to me, I talked to him on the phone, he said, "Oh, he's talking to me," and he was making a road trip going down to Southern California, and I was in Joshua Tree at the time, and like he didn't work out for a meeting, but he was so warm, and so this is proof, is with the bees. And just by coincidence, and I love word play and stuff like that, and like he's about bees, well, my middle name is Edward, my first name is Nelson, my initials are N.E.B, like N.E.B.'s. And so like N.E.B. has been kind of my tag, my thinking of myself, N.E.B.'s buzzer is the name of my rubble channel, and so this coincidental play speaks right to, connects right with what Derek made his breakthrough shunkite proof of concept with, you know, and then there was Walt at that time, and so I had this concept and knowledge of these energy devices from the stuff I had learned in like 2015, started 2014, and I was putting those pieces together about the energies in materials and the shapes of them. And now cathedrals are energy devices, and there's all these other kinds, and shunkite is one too. And so what drew me to Walt was his expertise, and he had been talking about, and I said, and he had talked about, posted how he was doing, protecting his entire property by placing shunkite around the perimeter, and he is like, I forget what size chunk it was, but I mean it's a property. And so like, I, you know, in my conversations, I'm picking Walt's brain, well, how do you know where to put it, Walt? And he says, well, I can douse it, and the dousing tells me where I need those to shield this large area. I said, oh, that's what I want to do, but I wasn't thinking of a property, I was just thinking of building a home, a structure, and like inside that structure, you are shielded from these EMS and all this other bad stuff, and Walt knows how to do that. Oh, like, I'll be talking to him, I'll be finding out how this or like, because I want to know, and so that, you know, got me started with those two brilliant gentlemen who have learned by doing, and then it was you, Nancy, kind of the matriarch of all of us, it was Mark Joseph. Oh, was it? Yeah, because he's the one that contacted you and got you on the radio. Well, like, he's your scout, yeah, I love that guy too, because he said, now I like your information, exchange it, and he evaluated me, and so he brought me in. So again, I see you for it, or these four that I've interacted with, I just love all you guys. You bring out the best in me, I've been dying to meet someone who understands this stuff and doesn't look like at me like I'm from Mars or Venus or something. Yeah, one thing that's very good about Mark is that it's always open to everything. He rejects nothing, and he evaluates before saying, oh, yeah, this is true, or before saying, oh, no, I don't believe this, no, no, no, no, he's open, and he evaluates what is the data that he's been given. So he makes a clear choice, if he does this, does this make any sense? No, this doesn't make sense, or, but he's always open to he doesn't begin a statement with, oh, yes, I believe that now he begins by evaluating, and he's always paying attention and always evaluating something is this true, is this false. So that makes him even minded. So he's a is a great person, but because of that, he's always open to everything that's coming is his way. Only when he evaluates it, and he's, oh, this doesn't work six ways from Sunday, that's the only time when he rejects something, when he puts it to the test, and it doesn't pass to the test. Oh, I understand, and I find that same thing. I'm sorry, Nancy, please. Let me let me let me just jump in here for a second, because Mark is the guy that kept this show going. We were doing live since 2019 on this show, and then Michael Dunn had to leave, and it just wasn't working out, and I said, I'm just going to cancel the show. But then I said to Mark, you want to go over that show? Well, he's the one that's kept it going, but I love the way that he, just like what Walt say, he looks at things. Now I've been on for a long time, a lot of hours with him, right? And he never says, you know, I don't think that that's true. What he does is he says, well, let's look at this. And then he gives another, he explains why he doesn't think that's true, but he doesn't say it. He doesn't say this is not true for these reasons. He just starts up talking about something that is really carefully presenting the other perception of reality. And you know, it's like he's the easiest guy to work with, because of exactly what Walt was talking about. He just looks at life and observes it, makes some notes, makes a lot of notes. Oh my God, somebody will ask you a question about a subject before I know it. He's giving the radio program that we covered it, and it could be five years in the past. I don't know how he does this, he's amazing, but no, I deeply appreciate him, and I appreciate the fact that, you know, he brought you to us because it's so necessary to try to stay relevant and to try to give people, you know, a new version of reality, but it's also just as important to have somebody else who has the same view of reality as we do give their opinion. It's a different voice, that's why when we're doing the, when I don't have a co-host and I'm playing, you know, just clips and nobody's talking about the clips, I call it other voices, because some of the, there's so many, when I started out back in 2019, on the 5G question, virtually I was the world's expert talking on the radio, nobody else knew what it was about, but, and that's why people came to me and said, you know, you wanna do this show. And I've said this before, at the time, there did not seem to be any kind of other people out there that understood the 5G, and we're fighting against it. And then, boom, within, I didn't think we had a shot and held me honest with you, making it change, but then, within three months, I'm seeing all these websites, all these people that have been talking for years, and I didn't hear about them, you know, it's like all of a sudden, reality had shifted, and this is something that I think that is kind of like one of those subjects that we don't pay enough attention to, because time doesn't exist. It's an association that human beings have put on place and space. Now, your space, each one of us has our own space, and the universe is moving at unbelievable speed, not only are we revolving around the sun, the sun's revolving around the galaxy, the galaxy, the galaxy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, I mean, it keeps going, and we're moving very fast, well, that's your place, and that continually shifts, continually shifts, and depending on where you are in regards to everything else is all moving at the same time, that's when you have the opportunity to make major, major leaps in advancing yourself, not just as a human being, but as a spiritual being. So what I really want to do is I really want to look at what happened to you in your life, because inevitably when I'm interviewing somebody, they tell you the situation they were in, but then something, sometimes it's a near death, sometimes it could be an accidental, you meet somebody and all of a sudden they've changed everything, everything changes, but it's a visceral feeling of a change, because it is. Not only have you changed your place, but you now have changed your space, you're looking at things a little differently. So all of us that are out there and that are talking, that are listening, we've had these things happen that have made those changes. And a lot of time it takes negativity in the state, in the sense of it's not really a good place to be, you're not full of joy and love, you're full of trepidation. And those situations are, I mean, thank God I never went through that. But virtually every other person I've ever talked to has had that phase in their life, and then something happens. And I think it's a, I think it's yes, the place, but I think it's a space. At some point the space makes a major decision, whether to go to the right or to go to the left. And so when we share these stories about our early life and the things that made us tick and the things that made us trip, okay, somebody out there is having this, a similar story. And we give them the knowledge that a look at other people are going through this, relax, let's talk about how this one got through it, maybe this will help you. So what I'd like to do is turn it over to you, Nells, but I would like you to start by telling me, for instance, like, where did you grow up? I grew up, well, I was born in Ohio because my dad, post-war in 1954, after the war he came back from the war, and dad's post, dad's war experience, his post-traumatic stress disorder got into me as a very young child. That's another part of my story that I ended up taking on my dad's, I got his recurring nightmares that would come to me. And so it was out of these nightmares that I made this invention, this discovery, but that's kind of much later in my, kind of in the timeline of what I have to share. But as far as what I have to share, I'd like to backtrack in terms of, well, okay, starting with early childhood. So I don't know when I was about four, and there were three kids in the family, Irish triplets. My older brother, about 14 months older than me, my younger sister, about 16 months younger than me. They were triplets, baby boomers, just like that, popped them kids out. And my dad at the time was building the first supersonic aircraft that didn't crash, the F-100 super saver. And so he was a machinist and a wonderful builder. Building was in our bloodline, the bush clan from Prussia that came over and settled what is now, Algoma, Wisconsin, they built bridges. And my dad talked about it. There were the cousins from that area that came to this country, the bush clan that were the brewers, and the bush clan that were the planters, and they did bush gardens. And while on his or bush breweries, that was that clan, well, I was from the clan of bridge builders. And so building is in my bloodline in, like, for example, my dad said to his dad in high school, he said, Dad, I want to join the high school orchestra. And his dad says, Oh, Dick, what instruments do you want to play? My dad said violin. His dad says, well, gee, they're expensive. And I can't really afford to buy you one. So you know what, we're just going to have to build yours. And so my dad built the violin so he could play music in high school. He's like that kind of so like a craftsman, and that's in me. And so moved to the hometown and grew up in the house that my great grandfather had built himself. And it was well assembled. It was a Sears kid home. I don't know if you still can. I looked into him a few years ago. You can still buy this very same home. I would love to. Oh, and it was a brand new subdivision in my dad's hometown called River Park. They were putting in these new homes right across the street from the park, the Schboygen River wrapped around it and the little lagoon. And I was like heaven where I grew up in for a kid. I look out my window. I had the corner room. I look out. I could see 270 degrees of this park in the river. We skated on every day in the wintertime. And that led to my later health problems and my pain and wanting to not live anymore. But in the meantime, I realized this later, I was the luckiest kid alive. I looked out the window and said, what are we going to play? There's the baseball diamond right across the street from the house. I look out. Are there any kids over there playing? Oh, I'll go and join them. Oh, there's a tennis course for mom and dad. They call me to play tennis. Oh, there's a swing set and kitty toys. There's the sandbox. There's the willow trees. We used to climb and fishing and it was like. And so I was so lucky to be born of those parents and do that. And so that's one thing, something I want to kind of get off. Well, this ties into myself, but I want to talk about Mark a little bit. And you mentioned he's got this mind like a steel trap, like he can like organize. And he is so open-minded, you know, except but evaluate, you know. And so I want to talk with him directly about his background. But given my background, what I learned in college, where I went to college specifically for architecture, you stay in the family tradition. But I kind of got scared out of that or found like, no, I gravitated to psychology. Or as it were, I was, it was a school of experimental psychology, which is the science of psychology rather than clinical and Freud and all these things you can't see. You know, this school was like, oh, that's building environments, direct environments. I was interested in architecture for building environments that make us live well inside. And what kind of house makes you feel good, the energies of that home? Well, I found well, my real interest and abilities were more tailored to call it the educational environment around us. So I got on this track intending to become a school psychologist and help build educational environments and that kind of thing. But in my study of experimental psychology, and I always was gifted as a writer, as from an early child, it's because of my mom and how she raised me with books and articulation. And she was in the great books club, which I don't know if it's a thing anymore. I don't think so, but I know post-war years it was where it's like-minded people, adults got together and they read all the classics, all the classics. They were the top shelf of our bookshelf. I couldn't reach them. I didn't want them. There's no pictures in them. But they're all the greatest works and this group, Great Books Foundation, would pick one of the selected books, read it, and then meet together like monthly and have their nice chat. Kind of like what we're doing right now. Quite exactly like that, exchange ideas. But I want to go back to Mark just to put this in because it speaks about where my strength is. And what you're describing, Mark S, what you're describing is a true scientist using what is called the scientific method. It's a scientific method, which is not really used. They talk about it like we hear this, "Oh, you don't trust the science." Well, because at the cornerstone of the scientific method and all science is that number one, it is value-free, value-free. That means you don't go in there to prove something. You go in there to fairly accept information and use your critical analysis and your skills to evaluate this information. And you learn how to design experiments, to test hypotheses, and get data. And so it comes down to a statistical analysis of data that the proof is in the numbers. And it's in the experimental design, call it the robustness, the power of your design. So what is experimental design? It's this, you're looking for establishing cause and effect. So in order to prove that this one thing causes this one effect, you must do what are called experimental controls. That's the whole name of the game. You have to control all factors except for this one you vary. So then if you get a statistically significant difference, you can logically attribute cause and effect. But this stumbling point and the bane of all science are what are called spurious variables. Or they are factors that you didn't think to control for, and it could be those factors that are causing the effect rather than the one that caused your sighting. So you must remain completely open and value-free. Construct a good test, but you always wonder, is there something I didn't know to control for? And that's what's causing this effect. Or I say it's caused by this, no, it's really this other thing. That is part and parcel of the scientific method. You must always be aware that you could be wrong, but the numbers are statistically significant of what you did get, and there's different levels of significance. Some of the data is like overwhelmingly, but you never prove anything. What you do is validate a hypothesis. A hypothesis, not a theory, you have this theory that predicts, you use that theory to predict something that will happen in nature. So then from that theory, so theories, you can't prove or disprove a theory, you can be supported or failed to support. But there's no truth, there's validation or not. And so from this, you generate a hypothesis, a guess, an educated guess. And then that hypothesis, you generate an experimental design to test and get empirical data. So it's your hypothesis that is not either tune or false, it is either supported or not. And so then by the scientific method, being shared across the whole scientific community, anyone can replicate your test and should get similar results. Or if they don't, that's interesting too, because you say, what's going on here? We have a difference of opinion, well, let's tease this out, let's drill this down and see what's what. So it's that, and so I happen to excel at this process. And the reason I say that is I didn't say that, I'm just a schmoe in this class like all the other students just doing my best, like everyone else, and do your papers, do your experiment, conduct your tests, train a rat in a Skinner box, test a placebo effect on giving people a shot of something, and it's either vodka or water, and then giving them tests to see if they get drunk on water, because it'll show up in their little maze, pencil tests, you know, work your way out of this maze, and like, that's kind of what I did. But it was my teacher, it wasn't the professor for the class, it was his doctoral student that was a mother bear about details, details, and teaching us to be scientists and how scientists think and how they write about it, and did our final paper, which was training a rat in a Skinner box, and learned how to do that, applied the principles of behavior modification, which is Pavlov's dog, combined with BF Skinner, and as it turns out, David Primak, which I won't go into the details of that, but Primak is huge, Pavlov, Skinner, and Primak, but at any rate, submitted the final paper, and we got those back, and Chris Doykovich was her name, and she was fair, she was like Mark Joseph, fair, but she will speak to every flaw there, and you will address this and know, you got to, that's, you can't be that way, you got to improve this, you got to fix this, and so, and, and so you'd submit a paper to her, say it was like five pages long, sometimes you would get six pages of her red ink notes in return, she spent that much time on you, helping you hone your mind, and so I am, I had that experience, and send in the final paper, the big thing, months of study, training this rat, who they were going to euthanize afterwards, but I took him home, because like she said, if you want, if anybody want to keep the rat for a pet, so I did, yeah, yeah, his name was Whitey, like creative named White Lab rat, right, and I took him home until he ate my bicycle seat, and I threw him out in the backyard, I said, get out there with the street grass, like you're out of your buddy, but back to the paper, she hands him back out, and she says in front of the class, the papers were generally what I expected, you know, some pretty good, but the one that stands out is yours, Nelson, you wrote a brilliant paper, you are ready right now to publish in peer review journals, you can do this, this is the best undergraduate paper, and actually, I've seen graduate school papers, it's better than any of them that I have ever seen, and she had this scoreboard, just like here, check this box, it was very behavioral, and the only, I got 99 out of 100, this is, and the only box that she checked, and kept me from having a perfect paper, was one point deduction for typos, typos, but so that was, that was validation that hey, I was, I was learning the scientific method, so now I didn't go into hard science, but I know I was trained to think in that manner, like Mark Joseph is, I see this, so I'm curious to have a chat with him sometime about how he got like that, because I was trained to be that way, and I have that understanding, and like, and so you accept it's value free, until you get the proof in, and your own personal beliefs are secondary, but you have these evidence that you say, well, this is preponderance, this is, this is kind of true operationally, it's true, we'll, we'll do this, you know, we'll use Shengai, because like what these bees, what would happen to the bees, you know, is there any other spurious variable that, you know, God send his angels to those bees, nah, it's a Shengai, you know, empirical results, so now that kind of moves forward, if you'd like to reset me and speak, yeah, with all that said, but to me that's important to say as a basis of who I am, and I appreciate that, I actually said, basically the same thing last night in about 20 seconds, you know, it's like, yeah, the people out there that are the science minded, which is a lot of this, this particular show's audience, they, they get into the science, but we also have people that just want the information, and I do appreciate what you just said, and the depth that you took it to, but I want to go back to where you actually said, you were talking about the formula, let's call it, and you said that sometimes you have the spurious events that happen, and you go, what the hell is that, okay, I want to tell you a story, when I was in the army, I interacted with NSA a lot, and one of their chief engineers, I was up there doing something with him, and it takes me to his office, and we're just sitting there chatting, having a cup of coffee, and he says to me, do you know what quantum science is, and I said, no, I've never heard it, and he said, it's a new science, and all of a sudden he got so excited, and it was the first vestiges, the quantum science, the thinking about it coming into play, and this guy did exactly what you did, he went off nonstop, we were so excited, just kept talking about this quantum thing, you know, and then he gets to basically where you got, and instead of saying spurly as he says, and then, and he got, you know, he started thinking about it, and he says, and then there's that X factor, so I said to him, what's the X factor, and he thinks a little more, and he goes, you know, I think it's God, and this is one of the highest credentialed in the US government science world, you know, and he's like, yeah, in the end there's God, and I just was, I've never forgotten that interaction with him, so when I see these things that, you know, we've got a situation now that something doesn't seem to be working out right, and it doesn't make any sense, so do you look at it and you say, ooh, I don't want anybody to know that we might have a problem, or do you look at it and go, interesting, let's find out what's it's, what's really happening here, and that's the difference between what I consider, you know, the advanced scientific mind, and those dumbasses that, well, I can't say that, because if I say that, I don't mind get these conclusions over all, I'm going to lose my, oh, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm talking. Reminding of Doug Edgerton, the guy who invented, what do you call it, the one who invented the flash, the photographic flash, and he invented also the, the under, the, what do you call it, the, for it, for submarines, the sonar, he, he, he invented this sonar for submarines, and he had a, a, a habit of whenever something, when they were doing something, and nothing was working, something was obviously wrong, everything was coming up wrong, instead of complaining about it, or instead of, or, or crying about it, he would say, wow, we're really going to learn something. He was actually, he was, he was, he was being quoted for that all the time, instead of complaining about it, he was, he was mystified, oh, wow, we're really going to learn something now. Yeah. Sorry. Oh, no, you're not interrupted, this is like a work, it's like a tennis volley with three people. You're trying to hit the ball, like, you know, hit, hit something, you know, out there to, to volley with ideas, but to what you're saying, Nancy, about this quantum physicist, that's speaks exactly to what my NDE opened up and led me on a path, not to making these quantum discoveries, but to the person that did. And it's like I had divine guidance, and his name is Dan Nelson, and his colleague Lloyd Mere, and both of them had NDEs, but they had the normal kind, or they were dying of something. They weren't trying to take their smells out of this life. They have pancreatic cancer, and they were dying of heart disease, and they made these breakthroughs in, in, in, in dealing with that, ending that, that's off the hook based on their call it Dan Nelson's finding intelligent design in the math of the universe. That's one thing he said, no, I, I'm not God. I found out how God's math works, it's the whole concept of God one step further away, but I know how the big bang for activated out to create everything. And here's the math. And so he applied this knowledge along with Lloyd Mere, who was a trained engineer, highway engineer, and he had dowsing abilities from an early time, and he used his dowsing abilities in his road construction to identify like where water was and whatnot, underground that you couldn't see for excavation, building bridges and whatnot. And plus he could dows other minerals that are underground, like gold. And so out of that, he stopped being a highway engineer, and he was hired by mining companies. Go tell us where the gold is, we'll, we'll mine that areas. And it was out of that task, well, he spent five years, they took him to the gold fields up in the Yukon, as he tells it, he spent five years, everyone believed that gold comes from a motherload big chunk somewhere upstream and little bits of it break off with it and flow downstream with each year's snow melt, and they go to the same spot in the river and they siphoned pan whipple through it, and they separate out pretty much the same amount of gold every year, and well, it's like, as well, it's the entire waiting for it to come downstream, go and find the motherload. That was his job five years, and he looked and looked and he could not find it. And one day he was with those mining guys, and they were down at the gold fields, you know, at the placer, placer, my placer water, you know, taken down there, and he says, hey, you see this, this river, this stream bed that's running down there, where we get all the gold? I say, yeah, he said, you see that kind of the hillside is coming down, you see that dark line in the rock cutting across, and this is other sedimentary rock, and that was a layer of igneous, harder volcanic rock layer kind of sandwiched up between them. He said, you see that, he called it a dike, see that black dike, you ever find any gold up above that in the water? And he said, no, never, not a speck. Boy, he says, ah-ha, varica, I believe I found it. I think I know what's happening. There is no motherload to be found. What is happening is that that layer of rock is a certain mineral, and he had this intuition that, and he later proved it, that gold is being formed in the water, when it's water course travels it over the right minerals, right rocks, water picks up the energy, not the chunks of rocks, the energy from those substances, energy transfer into the water, and when the right 13 mineral frequencies are in that water at the right amplitude, right volume, what will happen is a particle of gold, one nano, will materialize out of nothing. Well, not of nothing, out of waveforms, immaterial waveforms, manifest, sublimate into a speck of gold, and they start dropping it up to the bottom because they're heavy, and as long as those minerals are in that water, it will drop little pieces of gold, and they'll float down, and they're attracted to the other ones below them, and that's how gold nuggets are formed. You'll look at them, and they're all this polymorphous, like weird shape, well, that's why it's a speck at a time. It grows. Gold grows in water. Lloyd proceeded to grow gold, like in his lab at home, his bathtub, and what he also found is, I mentioned the right amplitude, he said, you vary the amplitude or the loudness, the energy level of those same frequencies, and you get a different metal that drops out. He said, that's how all the metals, metal ores are formed. It's different energy levels in water, and Dan Nelson said, yes, water is a stargate, a stargate, where this happens, and you know what, it's tougher to do, but this materialization from nothing into something, it works both ways. You can go from something into material waveforms, and that's like, okay, beam me up, Scotty, we're in Star Trek now, it's a basis for that, and so, that's, I mean, I kind of digress from my own story, but it was my own story. Now these two gentlemen, what, I mean, after my ND, I knew something biblical was going to, it was a biblical event, and again, I can go into detail about that more, but interesting coincidence in the School of Architecture, I had studied Buckminster Fuller, and I thought I knew a lot about him, and one thing about Bucky that I learned that back then is that he had this birth defect, he had this problem that led to his being able to envision structures, the structure of things, but you see, he was like blind as a kid, they didn't find it until a few years into school. He's not doing well in school, well, he can't see the blackboard, everything's on the blackboard, he can't see it, they find he'd do a vision test, well, Bucky needs classes, well, what he had learned to compensate for is he saw, you look at a tree, he can't see the leaves and the twigs and whatnot, but he could see the shape of that structure, so he was able to perceive everything in nature for its structural shape, and he copied nature, and that's how and coincidentally, he, I didn't find this out till later, I didn't learn the School of Architecture, I learned it after my NDE led me on this search, seek and find, try to explain why I'm still here and what I'm supposed to be doing, looking into Bucky's life, he had pretty much a carbon copy NDE of mine, that due to financial stress and feeling of failure and no one accepting his ideas, he had a wife and two children to care for and he was failing, they were broke and so he was ready, he was at Lake Michigan to drown himself in that water and make it look like an accident, so there was an insurance payoff to his family they'd be taken care of and he would be gone, and what happened, he was in the act and God came down and it was written and spoken of, swept him up in a bubble and it took him over the land and he could see everything and God spoke to him and he said, "You have all you need, do not doubt yourself, you move forward, you will do it, Bucky, do be who you are." And this exact same thing has been happening to me and coincidentally when I was studying architecture in Milwaukee, there's this magnificent Buckminster Fuller building in Milwaukee, it's called the Milwaukee County, not historical horticultural conservatory, the three domes, the three domes structures and within those structures are three different environments, desert, tropical rainforest and native Wisconsin, and I would go to these domes quite often just to sit, just be in there and marvel at them and be inspired and do reading there and actually another thing involved in that is not to get too much off in the weeds but I was a track star and so some days we didn't have practice, I was on the track team, cross country team, I made a living qualifying trials and like my second year, just before I was 19 and just after I turned 20, I injured my leg for the second time and I was done, I quit and kind of went and left architecture and went into this experiment of psychology, just kind of another detail in this book but as that architecture student, those first two years and training, because I had Olympic dreams, I did, since I was a child, I thought it would be in skating because I skated every day, while I ended up training with Olympic speed skaters that I met at school, so I kind of had that in me, that was kind of the crowd I was like meant to be with and but on Sundays was optional workout coach said, you can just take a break, rest up or you can just do an easy distance run, well what I do is an easy distance run, I would run from the dorms to the Mitchell Park Conservatory, seven and one half miles away and I hang out there all sweaty and everything cool down, well I'd always take the bus home, I wasn't going to do 15 miles and run back, now I'd take the bus back home but kind of that was part of what I was doing at that time, kind of in coincidence was Buckminster Fuller and that impact on my life and to kind of draw this part to a logical end here, the shape of Shankar, they call it a full ring, so like I get that, I've got my soccer ball, well soccer plays is huge in my story too and it's a shape of soccer ball but that's another part of the rabbit hole, it's like so many branches they go everywhere with Buckminster, let me stop you here, because Dolly wants to know more about your NDE and the reason for it near-death experience, because she has had a number of them and we've interviewed other people that have too, so and I didn't know this about Bucky, very interesting, so could you please just, Dolly a little, what it was like or basically you know the other side looked like to you, or what happened, let me put it to you, here's what happened, I never got to the other side, I got stopped before I got there, okay, two angels stopped me, I'm sticking to it because that's what I saw, there's no other words for what I saw, what I experienced and it sounds crazy to some, my wife thought I was, you're local, you're making this up, you're BS'ing me, now I wouldn't lie about this, but here's what happened and it was a combination of things, starting with remember the bank bubble pop of '08 and how that wrecked the economy and a lot of people's way of life, well, I was in construction and it wrecked mine and I had reached the apex of my construction career, kind of starting with the carpenter to where I was running work and I was making the best money of my life, I was also working like 60 to 70 hours a week to, you know, the best money came from all that over time, but that all of a sudden vanished and I went from like 140k to like less than 10 on average because the whole construction economy was destroyed, okay, so that was one thing that happened, another thing is like I was, well, I'm 70 now, it was like I was 56 years old at that time, the year before age 55 went in, now I'm not real fond of doctors, but you got to go and go at 55 years, you go and you have your, oh, what do you call it, the scope that they check for polyps, you know, the name is, anyway, this is part of the deal and so I was fine there and but I see the family doctor and he does his assessment of me and that's when I finally tell him about these foot pain, I'm experiencing that, oh, I kind of been coming on for some number of years, but it started as an itch tickle and but now it hurt and he said, oh, else what you have is what diabetics get, it's called peripheral neuropathy, that means peripheral, your outline nerves are dying and that's why it hurts and so there's no cure and you're stuck with this for the rest of your life and it hurt, it was like my feet are on fire, it varied with other things in my body, you know, but also what happened, the pain's got worse and I didn't realize it at the time, but my body overall condition, I later learned in my search, one word the word for it is chronic latent acidosis, that means pH of the tissues is so low, it's an acidic state, these acidic state causes the body to deal with that inflammation and this is what pain is, is the body dealing with that, is that inflammation, the body responding to it, okay, so what had happened to me in this chronic state, every injury I had had was screaming at me not just my feet, I had had tennis elbow in my left hand, I'm a left handed carpenter twice and it kind of went away both times in the end and I kind of learned how to deal with it, but it came back, it's repetitive impact motion that got it from me not gripping over gripping that you get it from tennis, but that was happening to me, well that had gotten flared up and gotten so bad I couldn't really grip a hammer or squeeze a tool, I'm a carpenter, I can't pick up a tool home, I'm gonna make my living, so that's freaking me out, my body had quit on me, my back injury, that was tearing me up, suffered from doing drywall, like 20 years, well no, at that point it was like oh 10 years before that I had hurt my back, never missed a day of work, I couldn't miss work, I had two endipers, mom was at home, I had to suck it up, soldier, get back out there and life was miserable, I cried myself to sleep every night with that back pain for over a year until I finally subsided, so these things that I had put that behind me and like was back, kind of had that patched up but it wasn't gone, it would recur, I mean I keep stressing that thing, down at L3 and L4, that's where it hit me, well that's where stress manifests in the body too, with financial stress, so that's missing me out too, so I've got all these pains and little did I know they would only get worse, but here's what the doctor said to me, yeah we'll just monitor it, I'm going to send you to the neurologist from here and you report to her, I said well or him, it turns out to me it was a woman that he was referring me, well Doc if there's no treatment, no cure for me, what's she going to do, well she'll monitor your condition, prescribe you the pain medication and when the time comes that you get gangrene because you're going over to start cutting your feet off, chunk at a time, I go oh that's what I got to look forward to and there's no hope, there's no cure, okay I gotcha, she was, it looks pretty bleak in my future and so all these things came together and then here's the third one between my own two years, I don't know if you've ever experienced self-loathing, but I was in that, I hated myself, I felt I had wasted all these gifts, here I am, I can't get a job, I didn't way back when do something else, I didn't go to school if I were a school psychologist, I would be working, but you didn't do that, you didn't follow through, why? Well I stopped my education in my, between my undergraduate, just ready to go back and get into graduate school, my dad got an autorec, he couldn't work, I quit my job, I quit that, I got a job, I knew some things about construction, dad had given me lessons, my uncle ran the lumber yard was a home designer, I had built in my blood, there was like all this work in my home area an hour north of Milwaukee, I left the city that I loved, I went kind of back to my home turf and I became a concrete carpenter, in the union I bought my union card, I didn't earn it, like all the other guys did, they did their apprenticeship in schooling, now I paid my way in, they said well as long as you don't get fired, you in, you're in, and so for like about three years it was, I got my feet wet, in that, I learned how to do it, I stuck and I gave half of my paycheck every week to mom, but we couldn't tell that about it because dad would never have let me, he said no you're not going to do that for me, no I won't let you do that, so I don't lie to my dad, no dad I don't like school, I'm sick of school, I don't want to do that, I want to build like our family does, that's why I lie to my dad, from the time I was 25, I lived a lie, now it was a white lie, but you see I never did my, manifested my gifts, and I didn't take, do the extra thing over those things, I'm going to this school, be coming and do this other thing, become a professional, so I have to do this back working work, I took it back broken, now I'm screwed, now what do I do, I hated myself, it's a, it's a terrible feeling, I tell I had been wasted, all these wonderful things I've been given, and here I am in the spot, what am I going to do, how I support my family, my two kids, our beautiful three acre property and gold country California, it's like this former orchard, all these things growing on it, all this like it was a garden, grapes, pomegranates, boo you persimmons, almonds, apples, peaches, all these things, I wanted to die on that property, it was wonderful, I wanted it, and I could split it and build on it, and that was in my plans too, when all these dreams were crashed, because, what am I going to do, I can't support my family, well I did the fucking fuller support in your family this way, you can't leave no note, got to look like an accident, so I planned, I planned it, I planned my insurance fraud for months, because like, well the other thing was, I was in so much pain, it's like, I couldn't take the drugs, I couldn't take the hydrocodum, and the oxycodone and all that stuff, that would, I had taken some from my back injury, when I first got it, but it just kind of numbed, you didn't really take the pain away, and it doesn't do anything for you, it doesn't heal anything, besides that work I'm operating heavy equipment, and what not, if I have an accident someone gets hurt, they're doing a blood test on me, they're finding those drugs in my body, they're taking my home away from me, so I just had to suffer, like you know, I don't even take aspirin, I learned how bad that is for you, I've broken NSAIDs, well they work for the pain, but they mess you up too, they just mass the pain, all the conditions are still there, you're just preventing the body from fixing it by masking it, so I'm putting all these things together, I said there's no way out, and so on, now we're just going to details of how I would take up all this kind of part of the story, but I guess it's kind of a problem, I was going to crash my truck, die in a car wreck, fall asleep at the wheel, that's what it would look like, insurance would pay, and, but, oh, my truck got airbags, what do you do about that, because that'll save your story, but, well, to get overcoming the airbags, I devised an incendiary bomb that I carried around in the shells behind my, that I had tools and saw blades and nails and bottles of MEK, methyl ethyl ketone and acetone and paint thinner that I carried around and I used, well, I wrapped some coil nails, gun nails around those puppies, and on that moment of impact, they would, the airbags would save me, but those things from behind me would crash through me and they would incinerate and boom, I would be gone in a fireball, I'm out of here, so I practiced this, I practiced falling asleep, I picked, I picked the spot, the bridge abutment, that would be the deceleration that would give the momentum of this detonation of my ending, and so, you know, I practiced it over time, because I hated myself, I just, like, I just, no way out, here's what I got to do, one of these days, it's like, when the pain got bad enough, it was going to be that day, well, that day, I have my eyes closed, I'm going, freeway speed, rush hour traffic going on, 65 miles an hour, I-80, suburban Sacramento, here comes my bridge, I practiced this going off, tearing off the road, I've got, it was raining, slightly raining, window all the way down, I got my kind of elbow off the window, and I've got my head leaned over on my shoulder, like, anybody next to me looking over, dudes asleep at the wheel, look at that idiot, he's falling asleep, and look at his cars going off the road, I was on my way, you know how you make a panic stop in the freeway sometimes, you're just cruising along, kind of on autopilot, all of a sudden brake lights in front of it, you hit the binders, you lock them up, and you have these life flash in front of you, where these very few seconds seem like an eternity, you have this life review, it happens, well, I had one of those, I had one of those going on, and I see these two lights, my eyes are closed, I'm heading for the bridge, there's these two specks of light in my eyes, one in each eye, they're kind of circling, they're kind of circling, what is this, I get closer and closer, and then boom, those are two angels, one in each eye, that's what they were, I didn't hit the bow, I kind of hit the binders, you know, you ever drive along Country Road at night and you come around a curve, and like there's a family of deer, or like skunks in the road, and what do you do, you plow through them, or you just instinctively swerve, you make that swerve move, well that's what I did, I just instinctively, now my eyes are closed, but I hear out of that wheel, and I turn to miss those angels, and now I'm sliding sideways, and toward that bridge, and I slide ways, and I open my eyes like, whoa, and fishtail back and forth, and then I stop sliding, kind of part way up that steep part, you hit the bottom of it, like at the bottom of the bridge bottom, and I was going to hit the underside of there, I knew I wouldn't wreck the bridge, because I built bridges, there's a lot of concrete and steel there, at one hurt the bridge, I know that, and so that's what happened, and so there I am, I go like holy cats, I'm like shaking, I'm crying, I'm like what just happened, what did I, what did I, I was like incredulous, my holy cats like, but I was still broke, I still hated myself, I still hurt everywhere, now what am I going to do, well first of all, good thing I had on my tools tied down, because they didn't spill out, I was just like hey, dude before a cop comes around, starts giving a shake down the highway gymnastics test, get back on the road and get your butt home, and I did, and it was like whoa, whoa, whoa, what, and like I'm reliving this, I'm going to, that really happened, and I realized this, I saw what I saw, and they talked to me too, I know what they said, and this weird thing happened, I would hear their words, like a schizophrenic hallucinization, hallucinization, you know the word, and it was like every time I blinked, I saw those impressions on the dark side, the inside of my eyeliner, I just, they were there, I'm like blinking, I just, they're still there, just so crazy, have I gone insane, oh what can you, well here I am, and so what do you do, you know day after, I got sensitive to day after, so I just got, I'm kind of shook in it, and so the day ends, as they all do, and I wake up the next morning, and now I thought I had a day's work, again I was just scrambling for work, I was getting two or three days, little side things, maybe a week, or it's like I was making nothing, but I had to take everything possible, and I scheduled to be, have some work the next morning with this buddy of mine, but I knew enough to call him in advance, because sometimes things change at the last minute, and I live a half hour outside of town, and he's right in town in Sacramento, we go to jobs in town, so I called up Big Jim and said, well hey Jim, I'm on my way in, anything I should bring any special tools is on now, say, sorry the customer changed their mind, I don't have any work for you today, I need that 200 bucks, I got nothing, I got nothing, what do I do, in the same old smoke, but I knew I couldn't take my, I couldn't do that, again I had to toughen out, I go what do you do, I go out to my woodshed, where all my tools are, and I love top radio, and my two favorite guys, morning talk show guys six to ten are on Armstrong and Getty, and so I've cut them on in the background, like I always have them, and I go what do I do, what do I do, I've called everybody, I've been calling everybody, I know I've been giving me work, nobody's got anything, the economy's so dead, I got nothing, I just hate this, wait a minute, I kind of had this notion, you think you're such a smoke, but you're not, you are blessed, so you will count your blessings, you think you're bad, but you have been blessed, make a list of your blessings starting right now, right now, number one on my blessing list was my son, number two was my daughter, and so I got, I changed my headspace, I said okay I've got a lot to live for, I've got all this to live for, I am blessed by this, what else, is there anything good about me, well yes there is, I'm just like full of the pain and not looking at my bright side, I'm looking at all dark, the darkness owns me, my thinking, and so okay, so I start making this list and it wasn't kind of very easy for us to go, well what do you mean, what else is good, like everything's bad, well think of anything else, anything in your whole life, I started at least listing these things, well gee I made these nice cabinets, I did this nice thing, I did this good thing and I started and I got on a roll and I started my list, on the back of a Home Depot bill envelope that I could not pay, I didn't open it, I knew what was in there, I couldn't open, I used to pack that, well I got down the one side of it, it started coming easy, oh and like so I'm connecting to all these things, and I had that calf skeleton that we reassembled and in freshman year of high school, it made the skeleton of this dead calf, we got this science prize of war for me and my buddy, and like all this stuff, everything, and so I get into this good sound like oh I got all these, and so like I kind of got into this mode, this zone, and I filled that one side, flipped it over, got to the other side, I got to 40, 40 blessings, count your blessings, I got these 40, that's a biblical number, that's a coincidence, but I kind of go, and so out of that moment I kind of like, so in fact there's Armstrong and Getty they're talking about something, and they're kind of at the end of their show at 10 o'clock, and I knew the timing, and it's kind of a sit back and go whoa, nails, wow look at this, I flipped this list over, said these are all these good things about me, I shouldn't hate myself, no I'm in pain yeah, but you got all this to live for, do something else, nails, but what is it, I only know this one thing, this one thing, there's all these people just like me, they're in the same boat, similar boat, a lot of people are suicidal, they're jumping on it, they can't afford their end, yeah, I saw that, that was almost me, and so there I sat and I kind of took a deep breath, and I just listened to Armstrong and Getty, and I got my blessing list up on the face side, and I got my pen in my hand, my left hand, and it's just kind of resting there, I sit back in my chair, and I'm listening to what they're saying, and these are really smart guys, very bright, I love their dialogue, their conversations, like yours, Nancy, yours, and all, and at the end of the show, I know their show, they have their regular sign off, only this day, Jack Armstrong was the one, now they're both Midwestern guys, one's actually from Wisconsin like me, I just so relate to those guys, and Jack says at the closing, he said, "I just got to say this, I got to go off script kind of here and not do the regular closing, I got to tell you folks out there in listener land, I feel so good today, I feel so happy, I was so stressed out, I was so worried about this upcoming thing that was happening for me, and I feel inadequate, I don't feel I'm fit, but I'm compelled to do it, it's a labor of love, and what is it, it was coaching his son's youth soccer team, and he never played the game, and but he was the only dad that would volunteer and take the kids and good enough, he's like that, and like he said this happens every year, at this time of year, I am so worried about I'll be inadequate, but once I get out there, once that first day has passed, I get out there with the kids, I'm fine, I'm in my joy zone, I know I'm there, I'm there for the kids, I'm there for the kids, and he said that happened, and I said, I just feel wonderfully relieved, and I'm looking at, and I'm listening, and he's talking to me, because this is one of the things I look down, and my pen is resting on, it's called "Toxin 40 Gross", it's this patentable educational system for teaching youth soccer that I invented, and the soccer club said no you can't do that, you can't teach that way, if you do, we'll fire you, and we'll embarrass you, and we'll take your team away from you, and your son will have somebody else for a soccer coach, and they hated me, political correctness, because I sent them a anonymous letter about hey you guys are being manipulative, and you're not thinking about the kids, you're doing this for your own interest, well they knew, wrote that letter, and so they were after me, and they were persecuting me, and that's why it never happened, but that was on my list of failures, it took it away from me, I couldn't do it, that idea came to me in a dream of my recurring nightmare, where I was at war, it was my dad's war nightmare, it happens the same time, every time I see that bullet coming at me, and dad says something in the last second he stays my life, and I wake up screaming, been knowing that, well dad saved me, but the enemy is overrunning our bunker, same sandbag bunker, a bull every time, it's the same dream dad does something different, in this dream he had called out three numbers, it's a threat identification system, three points in space, you hear those three numbers called, you roll, you move, because that means that's where the enemy, that's where they're firing from, at somebody, you hear those numbers, everyone move, and you return fired to that point, and that's the data called out to me, three numbers, and I roll, in that bullet, I always see the same bullet, slow motion spiral coming right at my third eye, right at my forehead, I know I'm about to die, I am sweating, I am screaming, I'm waking up screaming, and so my wife is shaking me awake, all those nightmares are dressing, nails, nails, wake up, you're having a bad dream, I go, whoa, what just happened, dream, good dad, he saved me, but dad's still there, they've got dad, but I'm in and out, dad saved me, again, now he went for some stuff, I could talk about his war expenses, he went to a special kind of hell that he volunteered for, it was a duty that no one could be compelled to do, okay, so they're going on this blowout of his own, so yeah, moderate me, tell me where to go, where should I go with this stuff? Nails, I want you to stop talking, okay, for a second here, you're putting out so much emotion that you're actually affecting the signal, okay, the signals get get scarbled when you get into this human design, he's a, what do you call it, his solar plex, that's in your authority, so it's a whole thing of energy. Okay, just hold on to that, all right, because I want to stop right here, and I want to play a break, I've got to have a break here, and okay, so we're going to take a three minute, three and a half minute break, and when we come back, I do want you to just pause for a second, and because it was such a, anyway, we'll be right back. You are listening, and welcome back to the cosmic soup show, it's July 3rd, 2024, and I've got Walt Silva and Nails Bush with me, mostly Nails, very interesting, I hope you guys are, are as interested in it as I have been, and I'm going to unmute you guys so that you can say you're back, are you back? Maybe not, yes, all right, excellent, excellent, yeah, I'm sorry to have cut you off, but I had to take a break. I'm glad you did, no, that was a point to reset, because I get real emotional, you know, when you go to your memories, you relive them, you know, and so these things, I relive these things, and so it's, and like, so I prefer to be kind of, this is in the background, the foreground, this is your inner authority, this is your solar plexus, you see, this is something important Nails for you, you live in a constant emotional, in a wave of emotional energy, it's not right, it's nothing wrong with it, it's just the way that it is for you, so you're constantly writing this wave of emotional energy, so it can go very high, like like manic, or you can go very low, like it's depressive, but it's natural, it's what, so that's why when you are going to make a decision for you, that is correct for you, you have to wait, you cannot decide anything on a split second decision, no, no, you have to let the energy flow from high to low, from low to high, that way you are going to get the clarity, which is the right decision for you, you can't decide thing on a split second, it's going to blow up in your face all the time, so you have to let yourself wait, wait, ride out this wave of energy, that's when you're going to have the right decision, never before it, I mean my mother, my mother hated the idea because she has such a defined, what do you call it, when people have the, what do you call it, the female intuition, she has, her intuition is so developed, she could always make decisions on a split second, but they were always failing, they were always blowing up in her face, and I said, well the problem is that you have to let yourself wait out the wave of emotional energy, that's the only way it's going to be correct for you, so once she learned to wait out that energy, that it was okay, no more mistakes after mistakes, no, no, no, no need, all she had to do was wait, and by waiting, she got the right energy at the right time, this is what she needs, so in your case, it's all about that emotional energy, it's not going to be for me, in my case, I don't have that wave, so I don't have to wait anything, I can just make a split second decision with that problem because I don't have that wave, but that's not your case, your case is unique, because you have a defined solar plexus, that's your inner authority. Okay, I want to jump in here for a second, because Dolly said in the chat, you know, you have to reprogram yourself not to keep going back to those places, and you said it, now that's when you said, you know, you get into an emotional state, okay, and that you're reliving those things, that's exactly what you're doing, because I believe that memory is not some place in your mind that, you know, your brain, that you have the files of all these memory things, there is a certain filing system, but the one we're talking about is the one of your voyage, your higher self's trip through the universe, let's call it, and what happens is that when you think about those things, you actually are remote viewing again, you're going back to a place in space, and you're living, you are reliving it over and over and over again, and when people get into this funky brain thing that they get into this, you know, just what you took us through, it's really a situation where they have to get rid of the link between who they are now, the space they're in now, and that space, and that really means that you have to kind of like, I would say discard certain experiences by doing it, your remote view, okay, so you go, oh my god, I just remoted, remote view went back to that place, brought all those emotions back into my own beingness, I need to stop that, and we have to make conscious efforts to not do that, not to go back, as soon as you're there, say out, and you're out, because you can break a remote view at any given time, so you need to separate yourself, not just in places, not just location, but in the space, because it goes back to energy, you get in there, your body is resonating at a very profoundly low frequency destructive energy, and so your space now begins to resonate with that energy, and there's no way of doing it that I know of, except to say, don't go there, it's about the only thing that we have control over, don't go there, and I know that people are like, you know, how do you do that, you just say no, I'm not going to relive it, I don't want to think about it, it's in the past, if I keep thinking about it, I'm destroying myself in the present, so you know, like I say, Dolly mentioned that, and I'm kind of like, I'm a great remote viewer, and I realize that a lot of times, you know, I'm struggling to connect with something, and all of a sudden I'm just spontaneously in the remote view, and I'm going like, is that where the memories are held, you know, the long-term memories, the ones that are aha moments, you know, it's called aha moment, you go, oh, aha, you know, I actually do believe that it's a concept of remote viewing, because in remote viewing, it's not like I leave my body and I go someplace, I bring the place to me, I stay in my space, but I bring it to me, and so that's what we, you know, the reverse can happen too, that's such a massive emotional point in your life, your existence, let's put it that way, that you keep being drawn to it, and you then you participate in it, you go, oh yes, oh yes, it was told terrible, oh my god, oh my god, you're reliving it, and not only are you reliving it and making changes in your space now, but you're actually adding to the emotion of the event itself, because you're feeding back into that body, it's all energy, think in terms of looping energies, so, you know, I'm glad we went through this with you, I really am, because I know there's other people out there that can feel it, know it, and for all of you guys out there, you know, somebody's going to control your mind, it might as well be you, and these are not necessary now, you're in a new space, they happened, they made changes to you, but who you are now is where you want to be, and you want to focus on being the best representation of your higher self, so that's just my observation on how this stuff works, Walt, did you want to say more about human design? I know, I think that's enough for him to understand how it works, that's why what I want him to understand is absolutely nothing wrong with him, that is the way that his body works, because he's a manifesting generator, so he's very fast, but he always has to wait for that energy, for the wave of energy that manifests, and a lot of people make a mistake, they think there's something wrong with them, that they have this, no, there's something wrong with you, it's stuff, the way your body is, just be glad that you have, my mom had to go through so many years or so many tests, like for example, let me give you a perfect example, you, we've had the opportunity, this first hour, to hear the manifestation of Mel's pain, how he ate, how he felt the pain of every single thing that was done to him and with him and everything, right? Now, take his face out and call him by my mother's name, your same case, same case, because you're always expressing all the negativity, because they never taught you a different way, so here, his case is just like my mom's, only he's a female, but that's the only difference, that she's female, he's Mel, but you have the same condition, you have this emotional energy that you'll never shut off, and you never have to shut it off, because it's you, it's who you are, is that no one ever taught you first, no one ever taught you to make decisions correct for you, no one ever taught you that there's nothing wrong with you, so that's why I said to him in human design, we have so much to unlearn, but that's why that's what they say, that human design is meant mostly for children, because they get the right start, that they're starting in life with the correct knowledge, not with the incorrect knowledge, but because they were in all of you, all of you children, you were taught incorrectly, so that's all I have to say. And just an ad for Walt, you can have him do a human design reading for you, just go to his website newparadimetools.net and you'll see a tab for human design, and you can actually order just a written one, or you can have a conversation with him, or you can do both, so I highly recommend you do, because it will give you insights into, you know, sometimes you go, well, why did I do that? Well, if you understand your own vehicle, your car, you know, yeah, you got to become sort of a mechanic here, you know, fix the car. Anyway, so what would you like to, where would you like to go now, Nells? Well, thank you for those comments, they are very insightful, I'm so very grateful to be able to speak of these very personal and important things in my life that I've never been able to express, like I just did. Oh, I need to interrupt you. Sure. I need to interrupt you before you continue. Number one, never, never, ever forget that there is absolutely nothing wrong Nells. Do not think for a minute that there's something wrong with you, nothing, there's nothing wrong with you. Get rid of that. You know how Nancy just told you how to get rid of, like for example, you're doing a shitmanic bullet. You're trying, you're putting yourself in that play place and therefore you're actually moving, moving your consciousness to a particular time. Okay, but you don't need to do that. There is nothing wrong with you, so therefore you should not subject yourself to, you know, hour after hour after hour after hour of replaying the same movies, these same movies that are so sickening and they always play the same movie and you don't have to, you really don't have to, so please don't. Well, thank you for that. You are preaching to the choir because what I said, sets the stage for everything that happened after that. Now, I don't mean to rebut what you're saying, I understand, but what came out of this kind of, I was articulating the darkness that culminated and the day after I got into this, you know, and it sent me on this reliving these things of stuff just all flowed out of me. Now, I had all this stuff written down. I had this, but it kind of goes back to the narrative that I can pick up from where I left off, kind of in a calm, settled way and not interrupt the signals with my energy going off the charts about these bad things because, but this was the, okay, I want to interrupt you for a second, okay, because I think there's something that we need to address. It's those nightmares. And while when he started explaining that he was having the post-traumatic stress that his dad had in combat, and that he was actually having dreams, I'm wondering, was there a soul detachment from his father to him? Oh, oh, I know what you mean. You're talking about like a shamanic journey. Yeah, that is quite possible. Explain that, please, to know, because I think he has to have some kind of an understanding of how and why and that sort of thing. Excuse me for jumping in here, but I can explain this. And if I could continue, you would see, I can describe to you how my dad's nightmare has got into me being awakened as a five-year-old child and going to, okay, because yeah, because dad has his and that's how that got into me. That's part of the story. And so I came to, so that's one part of it, but what is perhaps more poignant is that to go back to the point in time of this day after the angel saved me, I didn't know what to do. I made a blessing list. I wrote and I wrote my good side, like you're saying, change your thoughts. Well, think about good things. Just stop thinking. Well, how do you do that? Well, the psychological term is reciprocal inhibition. I learned that from Dr. Thomas Stanfel, who invented flood therapy for getting over acute paranoia. And I studied under him, brilliant man. And I don't have to go further in that, but I've had some really good coaching that, again, these are the things I didn't bring to bear what started with that blessing list. And then the guy on the radio, speaking about, he needed, he was me. He was that soccer coach. That's who exactly who I was. And I invented this thing for soccer coaches. And so what I did, that that moment in time, 10 o'clock in the morning, I marched straight into the house and went to the computer, which I really didn't know how to use, but I started writing out this letter to this man saying, I've got what you could use, sir, and explained it to him. I wrote, I relived the whole narrative of these other adults who had it in for me and were so hateful, and they wanted to take this thing from me. This was my gift to my child. This was my gift back to the community, that I was the only dad who would do this thing for the kids, go play with the kids. I made no other dad, and they were going to take that from me because I called them on their baloney about like putting their kids up in front of everybody. That's what was going on here. So that's what started it. Now, he never responded to that letter, but it's not long after, but what I'd like to, or part of my story is all the things that happened from that day forward, I became a writer. I returned. I said, and I said to myself, you're just getting old, you've lost your strength, build things with words that you can do that for the every day of the rest of your life. You can't do the steel concrete and all this heavy work, you break your back, you've got to learn how to bring this to bear so that you can sustain yourself. And right now, in speaking with you, you are my catalyst, you are my vessel for putting this stuff into and say, hey, I've got this stuff, does anybody relate? Does anybody, is there some usefulness for this to learn? And so this is all part of this process that began on that day. And so with that letter to this man, I said, I've got to develop this soccer system. I have to return to that. It had been years before I was forced to let it lie. I had to revive that brain style, that I had abandoned, and it was like, pose the beating heart under the floorboards. It never left me alone, especially every spring. Like that event, that was my last year of coaching soccer. I got ran out, I quit, I got other parents to do it. We moved to the very next town. They had coaches in place. I just watched and loved. My kids took them in and supported them. But I was no longer, they took it away from me. It was my give back. And it was through my father. My father did this. And that's what I had to give back. That's what I could. And so again, that's part of, in a way, the trauma. But what happened out of that is essentially, I like to think of it as I went back 30, 31 years in time. To before I dropped out of school and lied to my dad and lived that light, that white light, and went back, I was back in school. I was back being that person again. And that's what I have been doing for the last 14 years. This is 14 years of back to school. I call it my DIY doctoral program. Now, I never got my master's, but this is tantamount. Like how many hours, how much dedication? Well, I do this 24/7. This is in a way all I do. And it's not dwelling on the past. It's taking that dark and what you turn it into the light. And that's a process I have developed. And this system is not just for teaching soccer. It turned out because of the shape of this structure and the function of it, which is asking questions during the soccer, how do you teach a kid to go somewhere in space, in unison with some other kid, how to go over there and do that and then move on and keep going. And so this was a visual language that I developed for that. Well, as it turned out, I'm doing this as a three-dimensional. It's a map. And I'm doing this. I'm going, oh, back when I was teaching college kids, I was an undergraduate myself. But I was teaching teachers and this got this job teaching assistant course in measurement evaluation, how to break everything down and into tests and test what you taught, test what the kids learn. And there was a paradigm for this. And plus what I had learned in architecture about the dimensions of man, it's this triad, which completely are parallel analogous to the three dimensions of physical space and human beings, the triad. And it's the cornerstone of educational psychology that they teach on day one and in Ed Psych 425. And everybody promptly forgets it and moves on and they get lost in all these details and they forget this fundamental essential principle of imagine that child and every human being as a triad, three dimensions. What are they? Mind, body, and soul. And in education psychology, the day one, they say, if you want to optimize learning, you must speak to each of these aspects of the child in your lessons, you must present to that. Well, the mind and body are easy. Okay, here's a math problem. How do you count to 10? Okay, there you can count to 10. Well, how do you etch in your head? These are thoughts in your head. How do we measure them? Well, you take a test, you write things down largely. And so this is what's in your mind. We can't see in your mind, but we have you demonstrated with your body, there's mind, body. Well, in education psychology terms, they put all this jargon on it, you know, and they call that the cognitive domain, the brain cognition. The body, what's that? Well, they changed the name from what it was when I learned it, they called it psycho motor. Well, they end up dropping psycho because the connotations, the word psycho, but it is psycho motor. It's how your kinesthetics is how you actually move how you, your actions speak louder than words, your actions, your behaviors of several behaviors. What's the third domain for spirit? An ed psych, they call it the affective. It's your affect. Oh, you get a lobotomy, what do you end up with? It call it affect bland. Instead of manic schizophrenia, you got no feelings at all your bland affect. You're even, you're even killed, you're not wildly all over the place. So, but in terms of the kids, the affect you want, you want them to like being there affect, affect their affect. In other words, and how do you do that? You mix in some fun, you smile, you make them want to be there instead of want to look out the window and get out of that room and leave that classroom. And that is the key one because everyone knows the cognitive and the motor, but they forget to make it fun teacher. And now how does this happen? Well, the teacher has to be loving themselves and having fun themselves. So the teacher has to go to their joy zone, apply these principles, and that will get into the kids. And so that was the dualistic aspect of I invented this thing for communicating a visual language for communicating place and movement in space, unified movement, a pod to do the dance steps. There's five basic soccer forms. There's five basic foot positions in ballet. So many things, bodies of knowledge come down to fives, think about it. The five platonic, solid shapes at everything in the universe that crystallizes starts as one of those five shapes. The five is everywhere, everywhere you look for, you'll see it. And that's what I was picking out of this. So what on this original purpose was to teach kid soccer, like, oh, wow. And so I started feeling this thing in with these called teaching terms, this order of operations of how we learn things in those dimensions along this 12 point wheel. The clock, that's what my dad used to identify three dimensional space, 12 o'clock high. Remember that that TV show about bombers and stuff, they're 12 o'clock. It's a position system. It's been used for all time, but not used for a 12 fold system. The clock, what else is the zodiac, the 12 cranial nerves, the 12 systems in the body, all this stuff. So what I did is I arrayed this specialized information I did into a geometry into a shape that has been used for all time. It's exactly the diagnostic wheel used by Chinese medicine. It's a 12 point wheel. And that's how you assess is you ask these questions of the body and you proceed full circle. Now you have full information. That's what my teaching wheel does for use by the teacher in the classroom first for themselves to design their lesson plan, remind them what they learned, remind of all these good things when they're facing the stress of feeling inadequate. Said, no, forget, you trained, you're ready. It's show time. Teach, get your glows on on. Remember while you're here, because you love teaching, it's acting out of your love. It's a reminder, but it's something they use for themselves. But then they show it to the class and the class duplicates this system. It's a system for asking the same question on any topic. You ask the same questions, 12 different ways, and there's a sequence. You start at the bottom, you work up each side, one's questions about the mind, the cognitive side, the other is the body side, what you see in behaviors and actual behaviors. So you've got what you can't see in the mind working one side, equal balance coming up the other side of the wheel from six o'clock, think of the clock, starting at six o'clock, the fundamental communication. What is our topic? What do we want to learn here? You have two routes in mind and body. You work your way up the ladder, balance them both sides. You reach the top at 12 o'clock. That is perfection. That is culmination. That is completion. And so it's this system for doing that, of asking questions, the same question, what is it now? What is it now? Because it changes. Next time you, and so pick a subject, math. Okay. What is it now that we're trying to learn? The multiplication tables. Okay, check. We got it. Well, now what? You put your answers. Now this wheel is actually a notepad too. It's a way that you array your notes rather than down the page. It's in a big circle. That's all connected. Now you use the same circle for your next subject. You ask the same questions of the same domains. You get the answers pertaining to that subject. But now you have formatted all of your information the same way. And you can overlay these different bodies of knowledge and see where the common alleys are. And it builds out, think of each day, each layer, you add another ring around this. You put your notes around this circle. You add another ring. It's like the layers of an onion growing over that kernel of truth. Layers of an onion. Thin transparencies they've built up over time. And now you've got the whole onion. And so that's what the system is a visual metaphor for accomplishing. And so it's this dual purpose. Intentional purpose teach kids to play. Unintentional purpose teach teacher to love themselves and teach well and teach their children how to ask questions so that the kids don't need the teachers answers. They need to know how to ask questions. They do it themselves. They do it themselves. And so that's what I manifested out of this nightmare. And that's what I began dedicating my life to writing up and bringing forward. And so as you say, hey, when when think about it, just don't think about it. Well, no, what do you actually do? Okay, what do you do for reciprocal inhibition? What do you do that inhibits the opposite? You turn it upside down and you go there? Well, I would spend my time writing this thing up, developing this. I'm in my glow zone. And these bad things would happen to me. And they send me down in the pits, like arguments with my wife that were terrible and the horrible things that she'd say. And maybe feel terrible and frightened and shaking and back in that darkness. What did I do? I say, okay, I'd listen, accept, not retort. And then I'd go back out to my shed to my studio. And I would pull out this joy thing I was working on. And I would forget all about it. It's done and gone. You're working on what you were meant to do on this planet. This is why God put me on this planet. I know why I am here. And it's to be talking to you. It's to be developing this work. Do your homework that you never did all this extra work? Well, now I got to do it. I've been doing it for these years. I developed this teaching system and whatnot. And then it got better from there. It led to other things. It snowballed and led me to other people who Lloyd Mir and Dan Nelson and their NDS. I mean, I had these amazing coincidences that I can speak to that that they spoke of to describe theirs with Sai Baba. They refer to Sai Baba. Do you know that name Nancy? I do know the name, but I'm not recollecting to what it means. Well, at the right time, or is the group group. Yeah. And I had a direct connection with him in my youth through a friend and very obscure. And well, if you want to go into Sai Baba's metaphysical stuff going on, I can, but that might be a good topic just for a whole other show rather than, you know, so again, if I can like kind of backtrack too well. So, so here, here's what happened though. What I learned is that when I would face the darkness and it wasn't just from the one source, but from the world at large, I had just had to face up that darkness. I've got pain in my feet, do something about it. Well, I started doing something about that. I went to, I went to, well, looked around and said, okay, it's time for me to go to a raw food diet forage. I forage my own property. It's what I found on my property started healing my feet and taking the pain away, namely, I had 15 olive trees. I had an olive grove in the front of my property. And like, I didn't use them. Now, so you search, well, you can buy olive leaf extract at the health food store for, you know, a decent buck for a bottle of these pills. Well, I had the fresh leaves, but who knew they did anything? I didn't until one day, these coincidences. So, I guess the point I want to make these things started happening to me that clicked that one day my wife came home from work and said, oh my, the worst, she was so sad. Dear Ernie at work, I saw him, he, I saw him when he came back from the doctor. I was the first one to talk to him. He looked terrible. The doctor told him, yeah, you got stage four lung cancer or whatever. You got probably 30 days to live. And we were at his funeral 28 days later. He was right. And I go, oh, well, lung cancer, what I do, I just kind of figured out, I just got to start learning how to Google search, you know, web search, I go into the typewriter, natural cures for, okay, peripheral neuropathy. What do they say there? Natural cures for lung cancer, what pops up? Olive leaf. Olive leaf. And there was one study, one doctor in Greece who reported this traumatic turnaround from doing this olive leaf preparation that I copied. And her client, her patient, boom, beat it. Now, in her storyline, she went to whatever Rome to the doctor's convention, she presented that, she got like booed off the stage because they're all big pharma horse. We don't want to hear about that. They, they, they silenced her. They keep under her wraps. You know, this happens all the time. These natural cures. Look at the, look at the suicide rate of all these naturalists that come out and, and, and manifest their gift and have this great thing that are coming out. Well, suddenly they get horribly depressed and they take their lives, right? No, they've been killed. Okay. That's what's happened. I know the list. I don't want to end up on that list. And my men I studied under, they knew about that list. They didn't want to end up there too. So they had to keep on the download and just talk to small groups. And that's what they did. They couldn't go nationally. They couldn't go shouted from the mountaintop. They'll be taken out. They're a target. They disrupt very powerful stability, very powerful institutions, financial, and you go messing with them. They're going to come for it. You got a target and they knew it. So I'm aware of this too, but I can kind of leave that aside. But so I go to my olive trees and like, and I read up on it, I find what she was. They are bitter. What you do is this woman said, take mineral water and you put these olives, you pick them fresh, if you can, put them in the blender, it turns green, and like whatnot, then you strain it out with cheese cloth and you don't need to leave and you drink this stuff. And it is the most horrible, bitter tasting stuff you could ever imagine drinking. As you recommend, I found you put lemon juice in with it. It takes that bitter away, but and you get the burps, the early herbs, taste back, tasting that stuff for hours after you take it on an anti stomach. So it does its job. You don't take it after a meal. You have the stomach. And that's how she ended lung cancer and has this procedure. And so I follow that. I'll do that. And I began doing that. And along with looking at forage and finding out in my own yard, aside from the fruits, the grapes themselves, the grape leaves, aside from the pecans, got these pea countries incredible, juicy, tasty, the smaller pecans, the hard shell, not the soft ones down south. Okay. And those are wonderful, wonderful oils. I'm eating nose is a pomegranate. Yeah, obvious. Fuyu persimmons. It's like a sacramental Japanese ritual New Year's Eve feast for the power in these sweet persimmons, these sweet ones. Okay. So I'm doing all that. But here's what I'm finding. I'm finding by looking at natural cures, that the actual nutritional content of all of those things, there is more nutrition in their packaging than there is in the sweet meat fruit that we eat them for. And so you take off the peel, you throw that away, you're throwing the most nutritious part, pecan shells, pecan shells. Man, I burned through like three blenders, burned them up, grinding those things down, down, down, and into making a milk, straining out the little chunks that are left because they like sand in your teeth and putting those in my smoothies for that. Persimmons, same thing. Oh, that sweet pink, you know, seedy fruit that's inside, you have it at Christmas time. Well, heck, what's in the wrapper is even better. It's even better. Eggshells are the same thing. It's kind of, it's a rule. There's all this stuff. I learned to apply those principles, and essentially, I brought my feedback to health. I ended that. The doctor says that's irreversible baloney. I reversed that stuff. And when he was the key, like, especially because there's all of these, my feet began kind of, I call it waking up a little bit because I couldn't feel them. I couldn't like feel them to touch where I could just feel pain inside them burning, right? So I go, oh, wow, that olive leaf is starting to work. I can feel my feet again. And so here's what happened. Talk about the synchronicities that were started clicking in. Click, click, click. So I'm a, I'm a serendipity generator. I'm a synchronicity collector. They just come in and I'm ready for them. I'm expecting them. And I know them for what they are. And when they come in, I don't ignore them. I chase those coins is down. I find out what's there. Like Mark Joseph does. Okay, I evaluate, right? And so, so in California, I got to know this guy named Captain Carrot, Dr. Kerry Nozzler, who had a radio talk show called the Wild World of Health. And he'd have all these health experts kind of unmetricional health and breaking new information that's coming out. And I listened to him every Saturday. I never miss Kerry. And actually, I met him and involved with a supplement that changed my life. That's kind of another part of the story. I don't know which one to tell, but I'll just go back to you. So I'm listening to Captain Carrot, and I live kind of out in the country and driving through the country roads of Loomis to get into the Walmart to do my grocery shopping. And his guest for the day is talking about the amazing healing benefits of aloe vera. Okay, that's stuff, the jail, you know. And yeah, I go, yeah, my buddy Beanie years ago, he had a stress disorder from being a bus driver in Madison, Wisconsin. His gut was given him hell. And his Asian doctor said, here, drink this aloe vera juice, you can mix it with orange juice and bingo, fix them. So I go, oh, yeah, Beanie, yeah. And so, I'm driving, I'm listening to this. And like, what happens? I'm in the countryside, I turn a corner. There's a whole stand of them. Out, like, at the end of this driveway, the farmer or ranchers, places like way back in his house, there's an aloe vera bunches, they're all over us ornamental plants. What do I do? I make a u-turn, I drive past them, it clicks on, I make a u-turn, I pull up next to that thing. I've got a hand saw in my truck, in my trunk, because I'm a carpenter, and I got down on the ground, and I go real harvest it a couple of those leaves, the bottom ones, I went down with my hand saw, and I cut them off, I put them back to my truck, and I got my hands all bloody on those thorns. It's the next time I put welders gloves, next I'm going to gorilla harvest and steal my neighbors aloe vera leaves. Well, really, there's just the bottom ones, they don't take the top ones, I'm just like pruning. Okay, okay, we've got to stop you again. We're at the end of the show. Wow, it's fascinating, especially the things about what you can find in your own yard. Let me just say quickly, it was the aloe vera that brought my feet completely back, I put those in my smoothies, and like I kind of got that detail, the story, what happened like three weeks later, it's like, oh my. We don't have any more time, we have to hang up. Well, good afternoon everybody, have a super day. Okay, thank you very much for all being here, and we'll see you next time, be safe. You've been listening to Radio 5G, a production of cosmicreality.com. Thank you for listening.
