💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app!
Did you miss the latest Ramsey Show episode? Don’t worry—we’ve got you covered! Get all the highlights you missed plus some of the best moments from the show. Watch entertaining calls, Dave Rants, guest interviews, and more!
Next Steps
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here!
Listen to more from Ramsey Network
🎙️ The Ramsey Show
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show
💰 George Kamel
💼 The Ken Coleman Show
📈 EntreLeadership
Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app, start budgeting for free today. I'm 19 and for all of my two years of college that I've gone to so far, my dad has controlled all of my savings money and he invests the big chunks of it and tries to make more money. He's been emotionally abusive in the past and he's decided in the last year that he does not want a relationship with me whatsoever. He wants to come me out but he doesn't want to give me access to my own savings and so I'm wondering as an adult, if that just doesn't feel right, if he chooses not to have a relationship with me, should he have control of my money and also he's legally obligated from the divorce to provide me with a car for work and he won't give me a straight answer if he's going to give me a car to take the school and then I can't get a job and I'm a baby step two. Okay, your money and your savings, I assume he and your mom saved this money or did you put the money into the job? No, actually it's my money, growing up I was, the rule of my house was you have to put half of whatever you make into saving, he's like a big fan of yours, so I've been putting half of my money into savings and I've worked really, really hard. Is your name on the account? I don't know, he says that it's my money but I've never actually seen the account. You just gave the money to him when you're a kid? It was in my, yeah, when I was a kid and then when I got a bank account I put it in my savings and then he would take out money whenever I got over a certain amount and he put it in the investment. Do you know what bank it's in? Well, the bank that I would put it in was the local credit union, but I don't know where he's got it. You think he's moved it out of there? I know, I can see the bank. I know that he's moved, like he's told me he has like 13 grand in the investment and I've asked him for access to it, but he just sends me pictures of statements and then he got mad at me for not thanking him for making money on my money. So if he took money out of an account with your name on it, I'm assuming his name was also on the account as a, if you were a minor and he took money out. Yes. Well, I guess it's going to be a joint account. It could be. He's the custodian of the account that's in your name. If you can find him, if you can figure out, wait a minute, he sent you a statement. Yeah. So you know where the money is? Well, I haven't looked at it yet. Okay. Well, you know where the money is. Contact that financial institution. If your name is on the statement and take the money out, okay, that's easy. If you open it up, it's got your name on it. No, I bet not. I bet he opened an account of his own and moved it over there, pulled it out of that credit union and stuck it over in his account because he's going to quote unquote, make a bunch of money on it. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure this guy's that smart. Yeah. The first thing you need to do is figure out if you can figure out where the money is and if it is your name on the account, it's a simple thing. Just walk up to the teller window and go, my name is Joe and here's my social security number. I want to close this account out and take the money out. And just take my money back in even though he's. It's your money. Take it. He's not helping you. He just said he's cutting you out. He just told me he wasn't helping you. I don't care what he supposedly is doing. I mean, the reality is you're telling me he's taking your money. That's what you're telling me. So all you're going to do is just not allow that to happen by moving it. And you need to pull all the money out of this joint account. You'll have an open your own account. Yeah. Anything you can find that has your name on it, you're one of the owners. You have access to the money. You're 19 legally. You can walk up and just cash out the account. Just cash it out and take the cash to somewhere else and open it exclusively in your name. And Joe, you want me to tell you something else kind of cool? Yeah. What college do you go to? I go to St. Louis University. Okay. You would be willing to bet almost every college these days has an office called Student Legal Services that helps students with things like traffic tickets and roommate disputes, but they're attorneys that serve students. I want you to go sit down with them and ask them about the divorce decree. Ask your mom to send you that until I need this. And hopefully here's what we're looking for. We're looking for one of those attorneys to write you a letter. Or write your data letter. Put your data letter on your behalf that I need my money back per this statement and I need access to the car per the divorce decree. And he's going to receive a letter from an attorney and you've already paid for this attorney with your student fees. Okay. And if you can't find the SLS office, the Student Legal Services office, go ask your dean of students office and they'll be able to direct you. Yeah. So you have a lawyer who's on staff to help you for free is what he's saying. Well, it's not for free, but he's not going to cost you any cash. That's right. That's right. First and foremost, open those statements and figure out where the money is. Go to that credit union and cash out anything that's in your name there and open that statement and see where he quote unquote invested this money, get in touch with that investment outfit. If it's got your name on the account, you're so security number on the account, you're one of the owners, simply cash it out. And then that puts you in where if you get all of that done, then you're just in the heartbreaking deal of dealing with an emotionally abusive dad who doesn't want a relationship with you. That's the horrible thing. I'd like to just put this out into the world to clarify something. That man is not a big fan of quote unquote Dave Ramsey because Dave, he wouldn't be if he called here. Well, that there's a financial goal for him, but you also honor your children and you also honor your spouse and you honor your word. And that man doesn't do any of those things. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, if he's a fan, it's at a distance because if he got up close, it wouldn't be pleasant. Yeah. Yeah. That's just wrong. It's, it's so, but, but you know, what we've got is a divorce and everybody's mad and everybody's hurt and everybody's throwing stones and, you know, kids hurt, moms hurt, dads hurt. Everybody's hurting and hurting people hurt other people and, you know, that's what's going on. So who knows exactly, but yeah, either way, um, you know, you've got it. You've got to play through on these things and you got it's not. You know, you need to make decisions, folks, in these situations that play well over a 10 year period of time, not a 10 minute period of time because these are bad. They're, they're, they feel good in 10 minutes. I don't want a relationship with you. I'm a toxic jerk. Those are all short term thinking. I mean, no one on their death bed is glad that they lost their relationship with their kid. Not over 13,000 bucks. Good gosh. Yeah, or the ego of having reinvested it for you and you're not grateful, give me a break. This whole call reeks of ego, ego, ego, ego. And you're ungrateful. I was trying to help you, uh, yeah, I could do without your help instead of sitting by his daughter and saying, Hey, I know you're in college, but your mom and I just got divorced and we just blew up your entire world. And it's going to be hard for everybody and I'm hurting instead of that, which is an emotionally mature response. It is. Oh, you didn't make me feel good about my, like what I did then fine screw you. I'm taking, I'm literally going to steal from you and I'm going to hold it because you can't do anything about it. Yeah. I can't wrap my head around me in for your own good though. I can't. That's the one I just, my daughter, Josephine will be here later on and we're going to spend a few days together, just us two and I can't ever wrap my head around making a choice that I'm going to, I'm going to break up this relationship. She's not a teenager yet. That's probably true. The thought will occur to you. No, trust me, the thought has occurred, but man, I just can't wrap my head around it. I told one of mine, you might talk to your mother that way, but no one talks to my wife that way and lives. But man, those are the teenage years. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
