I'm going because I'm just kind of like my mind isn't like in chaos right now. I'm on the verge of wanting to divorce my husband, basically to try to keep it short. But for the whole last year and this year, he has been kept in the dark as our finances that I wasn't allowed to be to have access to the account or any of the accounts. And he would kind of occasionally give me money weekly. But anyways, I was like, hey, it's time to get a new house because you have a three-year-old that needs his own bedroom. So we pulled out money from the HELOC and he was very up to pulling that money out. Why would you pull money out of a HELOC to get a new house? Why don't you sell your house? Well, we were going to keep this house to rent it out and charge double because the rental market in my area is about 2,300 and our mortgage is only 1,000. Well, that's before you took out a HELOC and before you had expenses. But let's go ahead, okay. Yeah. And so we were going to take the HELOC, put money down on another home and live there. But between December to May, I didn't know that he actually gambled all of the HELOC. And I found out, too, that we have, like, $20,000 worth of credit card that were all cash advances. So now-- So he obviously has a gambling problem. Yes. What kind of gambling is he doing? He does slot machines. Mm-hmm, okay. And when you all talk about this, what does he say? He doesn't-- he-- well, when I found out, I was like, "Where did our HELOC go?" I was like, "Well, first, I found out about the $20,000 loan from, like, 7 different credit cards." And I was like, "Okay. You know what? I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. It's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. 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I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. I'm like, "Oh, it's $20,000. Okay? No one destroys their whole financial situation when they have a three-year-old at home that is logical. That's not logical. It's financial suicide. Only an addict commits financial suicide. And 100% of addicts eventually are broke. And most of them die from something associated with the addiction. And we've worked with addicts for 30 years. We are not addiction specialists, but I'm afraid I've watched them a long, long time. 100% of them are liars. 100% of them are manipulators. And 100% of them are eventually broke and stay broke. So the only answer, the only solution to that, is to not be an addict anymore. And that means get help and put the addiction in the rearview mirror. A gambler is anonymous, counseling, strong support systems, social systems around you, changing the picture, changing the look, changing everything, and the cocaine, the heroin, the alcohol, the gambling, the pornography is in the rearview mirror. It's the only chance that the family has and that the addict has. And this is not something you fix on your own, Bubba. That ain't how this works. It's got control of you. It owns you. And you have to have some help to get this demon off your back. You can't do it by yourself. And it's just, obviously, if you coulda, you woulda, 'cause you wouldn't have screwed your whole family over. No one does that on purpose. It's an out of control person that does that. So Jill, your position, if you were my daughter or my little sister, I'd put my arm around you and say, "Ah, he's already got two strikes. If he doesn't get in counseling and doesn't start taking some hard strides towards putting this in the rearview mirror." And that includes he doesn't touch money ever again for the next four years. You touch all the money. You handle every bit of it. He doesn't see any of it. You explain it to him. You show him where it went. You can be transparent with it where it happens. But he hands his paycheck over to you. He has no hidden accounts, no lies, no side credit cards, no side girlfriends, no book crap. And keep yourself protected too, Jill. Yeah. If he won't turn it over to you and go get in counseling, you're going to have nothing but hell on earth because he's just lying again. Sorry, but that's just the hard core. There is no middle ground with folk in these situations. Man or woman. Doesn't matter. In that case, you're protecting yourself, Jill, and your child. Yeah. And you got to start talking about what kind of career you're going to have to sustain your life as a single mom. Because a hundred percent of addicts are eventually broke. One hundred percent. That's a horrible stat. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
