[MUSIC PLAYING] Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I've been watching you guys for a while, and I got a quick question. I'm just looking for a little bit of affirmation here. OK. I have a girlfriend of about a year and a half, and we do live together. And she asked me, actually, last night, if I could loan her money to pay off a debt that she has on a credit card. So about $12,000. About $12,000 in debt. It's not a little bit. That's not a little bit. That's a lot. Well, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's not a little bit. But yeah, she had asked me that, and I gave her-- I told her I would call you guys. I kind of know the answer. I'll get back to you on that, babe. But let's put it on, Jade and Kenneth-- Sure, sure. OK, so it's $12,000. Did you say it's for a credit card? Yeah, yeah, for a credit card. Yeah. And just to clarify, this is a loan. So when you say the word loan, that makes me sound-- that makes it sound like somebody's got to pay it back. You got to pay it back, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. She had gotten to a-- yeah, she had gotten to a little situation, I guess, with her last partner. He ended up using it without her permission. And yeah, that's how she ended up being in that situation. Can I ask you this? How do you feel-- how would you feel being in a position where your girlfriend owes you $12,000? That's the thing, too. Because I've been looking to you guys for a while. And I remember one thing Ramsey said is, you know, dinner tastes a little different when you're sitting across with somebody that owes you. And I know I wouldn't be the one owing any one. But just the fact that, you know, that that kind of tension would be there, I wouldn't necessarily feel too comfortable. Yeah, Joe, how's that going to feel when she starts missing payments that she owes you? That's got to be weird. Hey, we're going to Red Lobster tonight. How's that payment plan coming along? But she still got her nails done and still got her hair done. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Joe. Yeah, I knew exactly what he did. So can I-- Joe, listen, I appreciate that you told your girlfriend you were going to call us. But what was your gut reaction when she hit you with this idea? My gut reaction was, I was like, OK, like, am I in a position to do so? Yeah, like, yes. Like, yes, can I-- can I help her like that? Yes, but I just think, like, just like character-wise, I really feel like, you know, you know, talking that is, you know, a character-builder too. And I, you know, I definitely want us to grow. And that regard, I want her to take her finance in series too as well. Joe, Joe, Joe, listen to me. Joe, Jade and I are on Team Joe, OK? Why don't you stop spinning and just tell us how did you feel when she hit you with that? Did you want to do it? Yes or no? I got you. I got the-- no, no, I can go. All right, there we go. There we go. I'm with you, Joe. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, you're not a bad guy. She, you know, I do have more questions just because I want to know, and I want the people to also get a clear picture of this. You know, first off, we're not big on loaning money here. You know, to a friend, to a family member, somebody loaning money to you, debt in general is just-- we're anti-debt here. So now, if you called and said, hey, she's asking me, if I can give her this money, that might be a different conversation. And you were like, I have it to give. And if I don't ever receive it back, it's no big deal. Like, that might be a totally different conversation. But the aspect of loaning it, you're right. It does put a different taste in your mouth. And it's going to make the whole relationship-- the power shifts, right? You become the lender, and she becomes not the lender. I got to ask a question, Joe, because Jade's here, and I love getting the female perspective on this. Are you worried about her reaction, if you tell her? Because I think you called us to get us to go, well, this guy and this gal said this. Are you worried about what her reaction is going to be, if you tell her no? Be honest. She can be-- yeah, no, no. She can be definitely emotional, you know, when it comes down to things like that. Emotional, like crying, or emotional, like, I'm going to hit you with this cast iron pan. [LAUGHTER] Maybe a sandal, I don't know about the cast iron, but she'd probably do something like that. A sandal, I love it. Yeah, but-- I think that's important. Yeah, yeah, no, it definitely is. I know, like, she's not the type to, like, flare up if you tell her no. But I just wanted to-- yeah, I just wanted to get, like, affirmation on that, just to say, like, hey, you know, I mean, me being the position I'm in is because I've listened to these people, and, you know, I really want to, you know, I'll call them, and maybe they can give you some more clarity, too, on my standpoint. Are you going to marry her? That's my question. Yeah, that's definitely the plan, for sure. OK. Does she know that? Yeah. Does she know that? I wouldn't say that, well, we've talked about it, but as far as, like, a time frame on when we're going to get married, that hasn't been. All right, so here's the deal. So since you called us, and I know where this is going, you need to give her a legitimate explanation as to why we think what we think, and if you agree with us. So the reason that we want to keep separate is you two are not married. Now, if you go to Elva Courthouse tonight, and I'm not trying to get you to do that, but all of a sudden, this debt becomes your debt. But right now, it's her debt, and the relationship needs boundaries, and this is because you believe in a healthy relationship, and so you need to explain to her that that is your debt, not my debt, and the minute that I give you money, it changes our relationship. And I don't want that, because I'm looking long-term. I miss anything on that. I agree exactly with Ken. There's a protection for both of you, legal speaking, when you become married. And so if nothing else, this is a great time to start that conversation of what the define the relationship. Now is the great time to start talking about that. And I think it will reassure her to say, if the time comes, and you agree that we should be married, as I believe that we should be married, then I am happy to take on your debt. It would never be alone. It would be us working together. And I look forward to that day, but unfortunately, we're not there today. - I have a question for you, Jade, and this is for you, Joe, but it's too Jade. I overthink everything. So the giant asterisk here is I overanalyze everything. My brain right now is going, if he says that, which you and I are on the same page, does she put pressure on him to get married? And does this fast forward a marriage proposal? I'm a little nervous about that. - I hope not. - Do you see, what would you say he needs to guard himself with us? - I hope not. If you sense that, if you sense that now, all of a sudden, she's trying to, you know, rush you, then I think that could be a bit of a red flag. - That's good. - 'Cause that's what I'm wanting looking out for. - Now, let me then ask you this question, how long have you been dating? 'Cause if you've been taking her for a ride for five years, then she might... It's been a year and a half. - Okay. I mean, in my mind, now's a good time to start talking about it. If she does say, well, you know, Joe, I've been trying to get married for the past, you know, six months and you're the one stalling. Like, if she starts saying so like that, then you have to be open to the things that she's saying as well. At the end of the day, if you both want to be in a married relationship, make steps towards that. And then, to Ken's point, that's when things become one. - Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
