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I just need help. My husband and I are navigating the decision. My mother-in-law has approached us and his brother wanting monthly financial help so that she can live a little bit easier at 75. Okay, wanting or needing? I would say it's a want. What does she want? She's struggling just to make ends meet. She's making it meet but she's not able to, I would say, live comfortably and I think she wants to be able to maybe work a little bit less and just enjoy life at ease versus living paycheck to paycheck. How much money she wanted from you guys collectively? So her, her biggest wish in the world would be to have her mortgage paid off. Mine too. Okay, thank you. Same. Hi, say me too. So she's got a couple hundred thousand dollars balance and so anywhere from 1600 to 2000 a month between the two brothers. So we would be pitching in somewhere between 800 to 1000 a month towards her lifestyle. My oh, my oh my. So what if she sold her house and moved into an apartment? So that's where I'm kind of questioning. So we have asked her and she's completely against it. Because she won't be as comfortable? Well, there's that and then there's also, you know, that's where her and her husband moved to and about 15 plus years ago she lost her husband to cancer. My husband's dad. And so there's a lot of just sentimental and that's what's holding her there and her house is worth quite a nice chunk of change. Yeah. Change her life. Yeah. What's it worth, by the way? On the low end, I would say 1.5 now. Okay. So I just want to get full clarity. You said that there she's making ends meet, but she might not have the money to do extra special things. Right. So she can go out to a nice dinner or yeah, is a nice dinner like a steak dinner or she can't get Chick-fil-A? Oh, no, she can get Chick-fil-A. It's, you know, nice things and she's just getting tired. Oh, listen, I'm Michelle, talk to John for a minute because I got to sit over here and be quiet. Hey, listen, I want to honor family and I am taking steps right now to be able to take care of my mom and dad if and when that day comes. I totally get it. Okay. And there's also, I'm sitting in a 1.5 million dollar house. I make enough money to do whatever I want to do, but I kind of want to do more of what I want to do in less of living in reality. And so this isn't about taking care of mom. This is about mom having wanting her cake and wanting to eat it too. Right. And she approaches us as well, this is an investment for you. This is going to be your inheritance. And I'm over here like, well, I ain't guaranteed nothing. If you live for 20 years, then you might need medical help or care or assisted living in the future. That's right. That's where that's going to come from. And that's also hanging something over your head that you never asked for. You're like, I never asked for you to leave me anything in your will. Totally. Yeah. And by the way, it's not an investment paying for dinners and meals is not an investment. No. Yeah, this is this is a hard one. And here's it's going to be hard on two fronts. It's going to be hard one because one of your either your husband or his brother's going to cave. And so it's going to this kind of request from a parent is so selfish because it will split the family. It is not selfish if if parent can't eat. It is not selfish if parent doesn't have a place to live. I'm all about that. Right. Right. This is I'm sitting on my 1.5 million dollar house. And I can continue to say it sentimental even though a husband passed away 15 years ago. But this is more about I'm in 1.5 million. This is my lifestyle. Right. Hey, what's your husband wanted you? He's he's up in the air, but he's you know, he's understanding the reality of the situation of, you know, she's not, you know, up a creek. She's got a way through this. And she doesn't have a way through it. She's got a yacht through it. Right. It's not like she has like a like a canoe that she's trying to paddle up her. She can she could take a yacht. Do you have 1.3 million dollars? I mean, we we've done pretty well. I mean, I think our net worth is somewhere just just under 2 million. Okay. And we're new to this program. And to be honest with you, money has been the biggest stress in my part of the marriage because I held on to it. And until I found your show, I started opening up to my husband about what this burden and stress was. And you know, when we're making decent money and, you know, we don't have money one month, I'm just like, how is this happening? So we're both on board. We're brand new to this thing. We're trying to shuffle our life around to like fit into the baby steps so we can actually have a gold that retire and have something on the horizon. That's a candidate. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Santa, see your dreams. You have you said you have a net worth of 2 million dollars. But what's your net liability against that net worth? So how much debt do you have? Yeah. So I've got 290 on one of my mortgages and that we own outright the other property and then about 60 K in consumer. Okay. And then do you have you have money laying around, obviously, because you've got 2 million. So what's in what's liquid that you can get to? Like, what do you? Okay. So that's a little bit sticky because I just recently closed out my late moms estate. And so I got a modest inheritance that is not included in that 1.8. Okay. And that's just kind of fitting in a money market because I'm still emotional right now. Okay. About 260 is liquid. Okay. 260 is liquid. So you guys are really close to being able to really pay off your debt, all of your debt in this other mortgage and be completely scot-free, basically. Yeah. So with crunching numbers in the next handful of years, it'll be completely steamrolled. But consumer debt, yes. This year, 2024, we'll never touch consumer debt again. Yeah. I mean, you've got 260 sitting in a-- Yeah. Can you pay it off right now, like today? I know. Yeah. I can. Yeah. And then that leaves 200. And I know you've got money elsewhere, too, but not to get into all that. But then you only owe 290 on this other mortgage and it's your second home. So there's money to make this happen. You got to get with your husband and decide what you want to do, what you don't want to do. But here's the thing. You're not doing anything out of guilt. And you're also not going to do-- What is it? The guilt and resentment thing, George? Or-- Yeah. Choose guilt over resentment every time. Because if you start giving money, you're going to start getting frustrated and you're going to have a month where things are tight and she's going to be calling you from the steakhouse and you're going to start to resent her. And that's not fair to her. What's fair to her is you and your family and hopefully your brother's family have boundaries. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
