(upbeat music) Brought to you by the Every Dollar App. Start budgeting for free today. - So I think I'm done with steps without even knowing I get the steps. And now I'm still in the mindset that I should not be spending money. Never, never, never, never spend money. - Uh-oh. - I'm 50 and I would like to start doing things that I get so nervous. - Tell us about your earliest memories or maybe the most dominant memory you have around money early on in life. - Um, like just being super poor and just, like when people say, what do you want to do when you're up? All I ever said was, I want to have a job like and pay my bills. - Yeah. - I have a job like and pay my bills. That was all I ever said. - And here's the reason I asked that question. That right there is the sole reason as to why you still feel the way you feel this is the key word about money. Even after paying off all your debt, you have a great retirement fund, you got all this. And that worry is coming from a deep place of fear. There's a lot of trauma around money. The way you grew up, is that sound about right to you? - Yes. - Yeah. - So, um, yes. What have you, what have you overcome? Tell us what you paid off. Tell us what you have now. Tell us about your current situation. - Okay, well, of course in my 20s, I was pretty stupid, bad marriage, blah, blah, blah. Got into super debt, had to file bankruptcy. And then, so essentially, and I just literally put my nose to the ground and just like, okay, that's never happening again. - Yeah. - I'm gonna make sure this happens. I got a decent job that has really good retirement. They have an ESOP program. It's employee owned. I've been there 30 years now. I have all over two million. - Wow. - And they have a carrier. - Wow. - Paddy, Paddy, that's pretty incredible. - We have two houses that are paid for it with my new husband. We have no debt, we have no car. We have 200,000 in savings. And I still worry daily. Like, he's already retired. I'm still working because I am worried. And like our 55, our company that I work for, says you can take 75 or 25% out at 55. - What are you worried about, Paddy? Right now, be specific. Try to give us something specific. - Okay, so like an example. So like, we were talking about like getting a different house and we would sell these ones. And my husband's like, I don't even think you can get a loan because we're like one income. And then like, I don't, how do you not be able to get a loan when we have 200,000 in the bank? - And I still work. - Yeah, but then he's wrong. - He's wrong, sorry. - Yeah, he's not right about that. So some of it here is just a lack, and I'm not being negative. It's just a lack of knowledge of what's possible and what's not. So that's thing number one. What else are you afraid of? - Well, it's okay, just, I mean, different, however, like they're like, oh, two million, isn't what it used to be. And then they've been like, okay, so like a 55, I get the quit working and they'll give me 25%, which is $750,000, basically, 'cause I'll gain more in the next five years. But if you think about it, that's why in like 10 years of my, of my team, or is that one even by a house? - What are your two-- - Let's stop. - Okay, hold on a second. - You need to stop, Patty. How much are the houses worth? - My house, or are two houses? - Both of 'em, yeah. - Probably about a million dollars together. - And you have two million in retirement, correct? - Correct. - Between you and your house. - You have $100,000 and savings, yes. - Here's where you're at. This is all, the fear and the worry that you're feeling is all for lack of knowledge. Because right now it's a bunch of numbers and that are floating around in your head. It's a bunch of what he said, and it doesn't seem like that's enough, or people are saying this, or my husband said, we can't even get alone. So let's let Ken and I tell you the facts, because we would say here, Dr. John Deloney would say, facts are your friends. So just looking at the two million, let's just look at a small piece of your world, which is the two million. We say all the time around here, the point is to be able to live off your return, right? The interest that you're gaining on your nest egg. So obviously you've got this in really great investments. Even if it was just in the S&P 500, it's probably having an annualized rate of return of around 10%. What's 10% of two million? 200,000. - 200,000. - Can you live off? And we're not getting technical, so for all of my technical people listening, I'm not getting technical, I'm just speaking in broad terms here. Do you think that if you lived off the interest of $200,000 a year, you'd be all right? - Yes. - Yes, okay, that's thing one. We're not even talking about the houses right now. - Okay. - Okay, so money-wise, you guys are doing very, very well. You're doing good. - You're not gonna run out of money. - You're not gonna run out of money. Okay, so that's, I just want you to don't contest it for, now just let, just sit on that. Like we've done well, we're not gonna run out of money. And one of the things, I'm gonna take a message out of the Sam Warshop playbook, that's my husband. You wanna know what he does? He'll write a truthful affirmation on a sticky note, whether it's a Bible verse, or something that he wants to believe and wants it to become first nature for his mind. He puts him on the window, on the mirror every morning, and he looks at him when he brushes his teeth in the morning at night and at night. And so I think for you, something that you need to tell yourself every single day, at least twice a day, is I make good decisions now, and I can trust the decisions that I make. Financially, we have peace. Like you need to come up with whatever that is, and tell yourself that because the truth is, and can touch on it earlier, you do have trauma that you carry around. I talked about it a couple of weeks ago. You know, when you come from a background where you're used to coming home and the water is cut off, or the electricity is cut off, or you know, you're cutting the mold off the cheese in order to make a mayonnaise and cheese sandwich. When you come from that, there is a part of you that wonders if you'll end up back there again, right? - I think you have to flip this, and I really think you need to sit with a therapist, and you have the money to spend on a therapist, Patti, don't you? - Yes, I probably-- - But I'm gonna give you a little hack at a friend of mine, Mike Foster, shared with me recently. When you have a voice that says, "I don't have enough," and I think that that's the voice in your head, or something similar, "I don't have enough," you have to flip that, and it's as simple as what Jay to say, and it's, "I have enough." Now, you called presenting with, "How do I get to a point where I spend some money 'cause I just don't spend any money?" So that tells me you're recovering, because it tells me that your head and heart are having a wrestling match, Patti. Your heart's saying, "I've done a really good job "of crawling out of the poverty-stricken environment "that I was raised in. "I've got a better husband than I am." The first guy was a bum, and now I've got a great husband, I've got a great life, all the things, and I'm still scared to spend, because, and that tells me you're recovering. You're really close, 'cause your heart's going, "Let's enjoy a little bit of this. "Let's enjoy the spice of life." Am I right, Patti? But your brain's going, "No, we can't, "because we'll never have enough." - Yes, and even saying that out loud, it sounds stupid to say it out loud, because I should know that that's enough, but it's not stupid. It's not stupid, Patti, you're just dealing with fear. I really want you, listen, we all endure, listen, go to BetterHelp, go find a local therapist and just talk to somebody about this. They'll give you the tools to overcome this fear. Jay and I aren't worried about you financially, nor are we worried about your spending habits, but to enjoy this money that you've worked so hard to accumulate, you're gonna have to get healthy and win the battle over fear. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
