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[MUSIC PLAYING] Brought to you by the Every Dollar App, start budgeting for free today. What's happening is I'm getting married in May 17, 2025. And I've been talking to people about joining bank accounts with my fiance. Uh-huh. And it hit a miss with everybody. It brings, like, a joint bank account, and then have your separate bank accounts. And-- Let me ask you a quick question. I had a big thing in for a while, so-- Yeah, let me ask a question on that. Are you saying that you're asking, should we join bank accounts now as in we're engaged or-- Oh, OK. So this is not-- you're not asking people what they think about joining a bank account after you get married. No, I was thinking about-- I mean, we're getting married. We might as well before everything comes out on the table. So I would tell you-- I wouldn't have a job if everyone who got engaged ended up getting married. OK. And I wouldn't have a job if everyone who got married stayed married. And so I would tell you, your impulse is right to absolutely join checking accounts. And the best-- I can give you the data that says it's going to be better for your marriage, long term, and it forces you to come to the table and join-- Join bank accounts while they're engaged. Oh, no, no, no, that's what he's asking. That's what he's asking. But I'm going to tell him, don't do it until you get married. Agree. OK, good. I didn't know where you were going with it. So I get what you're saying, like, we're going to get married, so we might as well do all the stuff up front. I would wait until you have that legal protection before you start joining the stuff up. OK. Yeah, she doesn't know the extent. I've been listening to you guys for the past year now, so I paid everything off except my house. I'm like, I don't want to know how much is in retirement yet, but what else were I supposed to do about it? Don't start-- don't start keeping secrets. Well, I sold off my company about six years ago, and I made a lot of money and then put it in investment towards my retirement. So I was talking to her the other day, and I was telling her-- that was the other thing. I was like, I want us to be retired by 55. And she just started laughing at me. And I forgot what she said. She said, you work too much, and you like to work too much. And you're never going to retire. Yeah, but let's go back. Let's go back. Because we didn't give you a chance to answer the real-- why do you not want her to know how much money you got stacked away? I mean, I've just been kind of weird about it. When I talked to other people about it, some of my predecessor's when I started my own company before I sold it, they were just kind of, you know, don't let her know until it's done and over. You know, they were married. That's a cop out. Yeah, that's not-- I'll tell you what you just said to me. You just said-- Yeah. You said, I said, why? And you said, well, because some other guys that sold their company, they said not to. So it's all their fault, Ken. And whatever, bro, all they did was validate-- no, they validated your own fear. So what is the reason for not telling her? I think last relationship-- because we have kids from separate parents. So the last relationship didn't go too well. And I wasn't married, so there was an illegal obligation except my son there. So you think going into a new marriage with a bunch of money and a bunch of secrets is going to be the better path? No, you're right on that. That's like me and my last diet didn't work out. So this time, I'm just going to put pizza in the back seat all the time. It doesn't make any sense, what you're saying. The only path forward is to be completely honest. And I also get this. When you're first dating, how much money is in the bank? Let's just go there. In funds, am I bank account? Since I paid everything on-- How much you were? Just total, bro. 1.3. OK. And she has no clue of that. She knows a little bit. She just doesn't know how much I have in neutral funds investment. How old are you? 36. OK, that's a good chunk of money. It's not. It's not a bajillion dollars. And she already said yes without knowing how much money you got, Stax. So I don't know what your fear is. I mean, she's not a gold digger. Yeah. All right. Are you scared that she actually likes you? That might be the issue, too. Bro, why don't you just let her love you? Yeah, that's true, too. I think that's it. And that's the issue. I tell you right now, if you think you're better than her because you sold a company and made $1.3 million, you might as well just break this engagement off now before it cost you half of that because you're going to lose it. Because this relationship won't make that sort of ego, arrogant approach to love and connection and vulnerability. It won't make it. I just-- well, I know I love her. I would never propose to her because I've never posed to anybody. I mean, I do know that. And I definitely know I'm not a better-- or she's way better person than being but-- Well, we knew that without even meeting her. So hey, here's what love looks like. Love looks like this is all of me. Do you still love me? And you hope that they say that back. And you'll take that risk for the rest of your marriage. I would love for you to sit down and say, hey, I've got a surprise for you. I've kept this from you, but here's a surprise. I got $1.3 million in the bank. And she's probably going to go, oh, yay. You want to go get some pizza? You're exactly probably right on that. Or stay inside me. That's the way she did that. So let's circle back to the initial question. Is she on board? I know you've been out polling people. And John and I are the latest people to poll-- You quit polling people. Stop polling. That's a good point. But by the way, we're honored to be polled. John and I love few things more than our own opinions. So that's fine. But where is she at on joining finances? Is she there? And you guys were just getting other people's takes? Or are you guys on different sides of the page? We both are there. OK, good. And she thinks it's a great idea. The only thing she brought up to me-- and we were going to talk about paying it off this week-- she had some medical debt, like seven grand. So she was scared that someone would put her freeze on the bank. She was straight up on something about that. OK, does she have any money to pay that off? We had been working together. I definitely make the more money part. So I've been trying to let her do her own thing. But I was more and willing to pay it off. And she doesn't feel right with me paying it off. Neither do I. Yeah. If she's behind you and it's about to go to collections and it's going to collapse from things and you've got $50,000 in a checking account right now, I can see you helping out your fiance. But if she's paying bills-- Yeah, well, every time I asked her about it, she was, no, I want to pay it off myself. OK, didn't honor that. Yeah. And here's the deal. If for some reason, Joe, she doesn't get it paid off, but she's trying, and you guys get married, then it's a wee thing, and then you can do what John's saying. You paid off that day. You stroke the check. Yeah. All right. So get out of your head. I think the theme of this call is get out of your head and just kind of live inside your heart here on this deal. And you've somehow convinced a woman who is a great woman with poor judgment to say yes to you. And-- You're probably right. I know I'm right. That's my situation. Let me tell you this. There's some research on this. It's called choice psychology. Yes. Essentially, our brains cannot process-- Go to the supermarket next time and go by the salad dressing aisle. Your brain cannot process 119 versions of ranch. So whichever one you buy, you will have buyer's remorse. I should have got the other one. I should have got the other one. And we can absorb that many choices. Why am I telling you that? You are a guy who is smart. You're driven. You do well in business. You've done well in love with this woman. And you don't trust you. So you ask everyone's opinion on everything from a cup of coffee to a business deal to a marriage, right? Yeah, I do. And you ask so many opinions that no matter what you do, your brain is like, oh, you should have done the other one. You should have done the other one. Are you right? Is this good? I don't think it's good. You don't sleep. I want you to have one or two mentors that you trust deeply. And I want you to begin to trust yourself, man. You've done well up to this point. He's one of those old cloth bracelets that were hot several years ago, WWJD. We just changed it to Joe. Yeah, what would you trust? What would Joe do? Right. Joe, you got a brain. I love the Docs laying down, man. You feeling good? You're ready to rock? Thank you, yeah. Good. Don't join bank accounts until you're married. And that day, join it all up, take care of your debts, and you'll move on into the future. And tell her how much money you have, Joe. She'll be fine. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.
