Lower The Tone Podcast

Episode 6 - EggCellent Content

Eggs become a subject of discussion from Mrs Jon (Kellie).

Mrs Pat puts her opinion on the podcast.

Jon thinks things are trying to hard to be chicken. But gives us his ultimate curry order!

Pat REALLY tries!

The lads start forfeits for next week!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 56m
Broadcast on:: 17 Jul 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

I still feel like I've got a little bit of organisation to do, John, but I've also done precious little preparation. So anything we can grab from this opening gambit might be quite useful there. Just in terms of padding out content with anything that accidentally happens. OK, got you. So you've done no preparation. You don't know what you've got less organisation than normal. So basically what we're saying is this is going to be a short two minute episode. Maybe, maybe. I mean, I wouldn't have done no preparation, but I've been very little. Have you lost weight? No. Thank you. Goodbye. Yes, but we want to know the degrees of failure to which I've managed to attend this this. Yeah, oh, yeah, I've been busy exercising and not eating. So yeah, I've been too busy out on runs and I'm giving food away. I'm obsessed with sound levels as well, by obsessed with sound levels. Just become upset. I know I can tell you have. I can tell. I keep moving to the microphone, then away from the microphone. Just and I've got a sound wave that I'm looking at right now all the time. It stressed me out a little bit this morning, looking at that. Yeah, I'm looking at mine and I've turned mine down as suggested by Shelly, the now producer of the podcast and also occasional loser of power cables. Yes, that's right. Yeah. No, regular loser of power cables. Regular loser power cables, occasional producer of the podcast. I mean, the times I've had the conversations where I shall say, Oh, no, I've left my, she works away quite a bit. Oh, no, I've left my charging cables in Brighton at the hotel again. Can I borrow yours? No, no, clearly you've not sold that. No, you're going to have to, you now need to drive to Brighton to go and get your power cables. You've not sold that very well to me. What you're saying is, can I lose your power cables next? Yeah. Well, what you're saying is I'm terrible at keeping power cables, can I now have yours? Yes. By the way, I hope you're not attached to them. So here we are, John, episode six, episode six, that's flown by, isn't it? I know who'd have thought that. Well, mainly we've only released three so far at the point that we're recording episode six. And he's number four, ready to go. Is that mine? Yeah. Yeah. You do realize that when I come back from holiday, we lose this buffer that we've built up. I know we've built up a two and a half week buffer. It doesn't mean that the podcast is slightly dated by the time it comes out. But it has been quite nice to be relaxed around it, but we lose that. And I mentioned it to Shell, and I she put it, no one's fucking listening anywhere. So that was nice bit of feedback from her. I don't know. The producer of the podcast, the producer of the podcast is just brutally telling us that we haven't got any listeners. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how accurate she is. But we do now have Facebook and Instagram. Yeah, that we're not contributing to our best. I've posted once. In fact, I'm going to take a picture now and post upon it that we're doing. It's recording day. Recording day. Yeah. I've got the flash on. Damn it. God damn it. Take the flash off, John. There we go. There we go. I'll post that. I'll post that now. Instant. Good. Good. So it's going to be a tough edit, this one, John, I think. Why? Just to boil it down from away from the drops of trying to think what the fuck happens next, usually on the podcast. Okay. So let's kick it off with how's this week been for you, Patrick? I've had a great week. I've had a great week. In spite of outward appearances, John, I like to think I'm a bit of an optimist. I know I look quite quite grumpy and sound quite grumpy and say a lot of quite grumpy things. But on the whole of it, I do enjoy life. And yeah, I've had a great week, mate. Great. What have you done? What's been occurring this week? I've been watching a bit of football. That's been nice. Oh, yeah. That's been big. Yeah. It's a big thing at the minute. Yeah. Basically. Let's move down to the shed. So we've got beers. I've got a telly in the shed. It's dead. Nice. That is just, yeah. Great. Life is good. Even when the national team are playing quite badly, I'll quite happily sit and drink beer and watch Georgia versus Portugal. Yeah. Well, this is, yeah, this is it. So you're much more into football than me. I'm not that bigger. You're not actually that into football, are you? You're Derby fan. Yeah, that's quite embarrassing. But that's only as embarrassing as embarrassing as being an England fan. I think both of them feel quite the same right now. But I was, I don't know why I get such a sort of a childish enjoyment from watching Christiana, Cristiano Ronaldo be upset on a pitch that not score. It's not so much not score. He was getting a little bit salty because someone was pulling his shirt, didn't I? And it's not funny. Someone was, looks like they were cheating and sort of pulling him down. And he does well for a 38 year old, but I just can't explain why I enjoy watching him upset on a pitch. Was that, was that, was that the go? I caught a bit of one of the highlights of one of the games. I was flicking through the channels. Was that the one with the a very controversial VAR for a penalty that happened for Georgia? Where it looked like they kicked him, but didn't kick him. I don't know. Okay. Fair enough. That's not really any bells. Sorry. That would have been great to have had an anecdote for that. Like I said, he'll prepare. He'll prepared. It didn't even realise he was recording the podcast. I mean, if this actually makes it into the edit, it does underline exactly that, you know, it's not scripted. I mean, I am prepared a little bit for this podcast. Oh, yeah. Well, not so much prepared as in just I've got. So Kelly was listening to the podcast whilst, whilst working the other day, and she sent me some messages during her work whilst listening to podcasts that obviously of what we were talking about at the same time. What does Kelly do? Does she work in air traffic control? Is she a surgeon? Yeah, she works air traffic control. She's a brain surgeon. She just took the knife out. I'm on a minute. I'm just going to talk to John about this. She's still got multitasking. She can take her eye off that vital work she's doing to listen to and on a podcast. The conversation started just randomly. So at 10, 13, I got this message. She just said nothing else before this, by the way, other than the usual sort of morning messages. But I agree with you about the eggs being good for diets. Just sent us out of the blue message. I was like, OK, and how she cooking those eggs? Well, she says the egg white is supposed to cancel out the cholesterol of the yolk. That's that's fabulous stuff. That's the type of stuff. That's the first bit of content that we've had at episode six that would actually justify this issue under the bracket of health. Also, also, there you go. Also, there's a low calorie, and they contain like every vitamin we need. So he could eat just eggs. We've got protein as well. Yeah. Yeah, well, they're they're high in protein. Yeah, the high protein snacks. High protein snack. I wouldn't really class an egg as a high protein. I'm classing it as a snack. An egg's a snack, isn't it? Yeah, I class a snack as something enjoyable. If you go around, yeah, come around and watch the match. We've got some bears and snacks. And they brought out a tray of hard boiled eggs. Oh, I'd love that. I'll be all down with that. Apparently two eggs a day improves your heart health. I'm all over that. Thank you, Kelly. That's great. So we've got a producer under health expert. Yeah. As soon as she said that, I just put incredible. I'm now going to start eating two eggs a day. When did she send that? That was on Wednesday. How many eggs have you had since? It's no Friday. Less than two a day. Significant. Have you had any? No. I like the commitment to the relationship where you're willing just to lie, just to help. She didn't, she didn't qualify it with this would have to be fact checked. Can't remember where I heard it. So it's a really podcast. Yeah, she put, well, just for Patrick's knowledge, so he could be at ease with being able to eat eggs. That's what she said. It's just for Patrick's knowledge. I'm immediately going to eat eggs from this. Last week, I do need to do it last week because I was hoisted by losing some weight. I thought, well, I can have a cheat there. And that then stretched out into a cheat day and a half because it started immediately. I thought it recorded the podcast. Finished shortly after a Chinese on Saturday night. So yeah, it was like a big long cheat there. Not big long. Well, yeah, the Chinese that you tried to in that episode tell us, oh, well, there was this different one. I'm trying to think. Yeah, there's one of those separate Chinese. There's a Chinese when you claimed that you didn't hadn't had me until I questioned you a little bit further. I want to say a question a little bit further. I said, did you eat the Chinese? And he went, yes, it is. You buckled onto the first question. To save anyone flipping back, that was a leftover Chinese that I'd come out. Yeah, and this was a brand new one. This is a brand new Chinese just for you. Sorry, there are other people involved, but yes, I had my own Chinese food that I ate to myself and my own Chinese food. And if I'd have had bread in the house, I would have mopped up the plate afterwards as well, but there was not. Oh, absolutely. As a result of this podcast, I've stopped buying and eating bread. Well, yeah, you mentioned this. You would be a big seedy loaf, seedy loaf, man, weren't you? Nice loaf of bread, cut of the bakery. All that, all that is all stopped. Yeah, ridiculous. I've been a, I've tried to stop eating bread, but I'm sorry. I'd say what I did do this week though. I did cook myself a curry. I cooked myself a curry. That's a lie. I crumbled up here. I was questioning that. Yeah, just trying to keep up. Well, kind of. So I do know how I'm trying to do like the whole plant-based thing so many days a week and all that sort of stuff. I'm trying to eat more plant-based stuff rather than going for meat. Okay. So I bought, I bought some, this is not chicken. No, no, this isn't chicken pieces. This is not. Oh, okay. What is it? Yes, it's a, it's a, it's a protein of some type. I don't know, but they've, well, my first review of it, let's do, let's do a review of what it is. And I said this to Kel as well when I, at it, it's trying too hard to be chicken. Chicken is the most blandest product there is. You could like probably dress up. But it's trying too hard to be chicken. It's just that it's desperately trying to be chicken. Right. And it's just not quite chicken. Not quite chicken. It isn't chicken. What's it called? It isn't chicken. It's called this isn't chicken. And it's ended up being called, in your opinion, not quite chicken. Not quite chicken. Trying too hard to be chicken because it's just desperately trying to be everything that chicken is. So it's trying to be the texture, the flavour. Do you know, it's just, you don't need that, I don't think. I tend to agree. I also don't like this trend of calling things what they're not. Oh, what's that? Well, it's not chicken. Okay, what is it? What is it? What is it dog? What are we eating? I don't understand. How far down the list of foods have you got to get before you get to what's actually? Not to be, not to be cliche and slightly offensive to certain people. But you know, you've had two Chinese in the last two weeks. You probably haven't eaten chicken as well. I think if you're going to be a vegetarian, be a vegetarian, just have something that isn't, that's like, eat broccoli. That's all right. I don't mind like, broccoli's nice. Broccoli's good. I like a bit of broccoli. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Broccoli was the first one to come to mind. There are other vegetables. You can have carrots. Is it? Yeah, you can have carrots, please. Oh my God. I think it's stuff that tries to be meat. It doesn't really do it for me. That turns me off. Vegetarianism. Yeah, this, so this, this choreo did, I'll say I cooked it. I basically, I, you cook it the same way as chicken as well. So I fried it up with some garlic and onions. Yeah. And then I just poured in a tub of, uh, of, uh, Lloyd, no, Lloyd Grossman's Boona sauce. All right. Okay. When you say made your own chicken, so you made your curry, it come from a jar. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it came from a jar. And then, and then I did make the rice, though, I had coconut rice. I made some coconut rice with it as well. Lloyd Grossman's as well. I take it. Those invoices have been paired there. What, what? If you was in Lloyd Grossman's sauce, that's quite expensive, isn't it? That's like your high end. Oh, no, it's cheap. It's cheap on saying, in Saint Louis on the nectar card at the minute. Happy days. I'm going to become the biggest buyer of Lloyd's Grossman's sources in the East Midlands. Well, what's the, it's in the East Midlands? And then, they were through to the Nationals. I can't wait. Oh, I've done the counting. I've, I've been buying for county. I'm going to start playing. I'm going to start buying for the Nationals, they must have that information as well. That's what makes me like them. But they must know who is the top buyer of something in the UK. I wonder who that is. I know. I want to find out of every product. Yeah. What's the worst product that that could possibly be? Ain't it so? The biggest issue in the South. Imagine getting that email. You're the biggest buyer of Anasol in the UK. Congratulations. It'd be more a congratulate if you stopped buying it. It's like, oh, well done, mate. Whatever it was, that must have been pretty sore. Or just, or just, or just think you can email to say, are you okay? It's everything. All right. Do you need more? Do you need, we've seen a doctor for whatever it is. All right. Okay. So, so, so yeah, so I've got myself a curry, made myself some rice, coconut rice, used a low fat coconut milk in the rice, as well, to make it a nice coconut rice. It was amazing. Biggest thing, though, didn't add bread. Didn't have any naan bread. There we go. It's a sneeze from Patrick for that one. I do apologize. We'll come back to the number in a minute. This is peak here, fever season for me. I thought I was going to say is it peak here, fever season? Yeah. I've been having it as well. This is the end of June is when it gets fucking unbearable. Right. I realized. Yeah. I realized. We're at the end of June now, so. There's bigger problems in some people's lives than here, fever. But, for me, right now, it's a right pain. Hey, if he was. Yeah. It's here. I'm the, the, the current, well, I'm stapled for the biggest user of antihistamines right now. Popping them like Skittles. But I get them on prescription and they don't even touch the sides. I wasn't supposed to take one a day, but I do occasionally double up. Again, please don't get your health advice from this podcast unless it's about eggs, which is fact checked by John's girlfriend, Kelly. Well, no, it hasn't been fact checked by Kelly. She just said it because she heard it somewhere. Oh, it's, it's got another opinion, which does add some weight to it. Yeah, exactly. I think it's definitely adds a bit more in. Yeah. But no one's monitoring this podcast for its factual accuracy. Smoke facts, if you want, go on. Go off. Get 20 bennies. Have a great afternoon. Yeah, give 20 bennies in for the afternoon. Get some tins. Yeah, do what you want. Get some, do what you want. Do what you want, mate. Just get out there. Fuck the eggs. Leave them on the boil. They'll be fine. Yeah, you can have them in the morning. You know, they're right. Yeah. Good for a hangover. Apparently, I've had that. Yeah, I don't know if they are not going to say that. Look, as they'd sport, that was always good for a hangover. Was it? I find one of those, and these aren't, these aren't going to be one of those rock star things that you like that give you gout there. They're perfect for a hangover. Well, all they do is push it under the carpet till later. Yeah, it comes in about three o'clock, then. Anyway, John, you're regaling us with your, with your meal. Well, snide, rudely sneezed. And apologies for any of the sneezed sniffles that come up. It's been a constant. Yeah. Well, yeah, that was basically it. The, I didn't, the main thing is I didn't have any arm bread with it. Now, normally that'd be a two non bread meal. Of course it would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really? What two non breads? That's a lot of bread. Isn't it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm a two non bread man. Okay. What, do you sandwich the curry in between them and eat it like a massive non bread curry sandwich? Which does sound as if no one has to say it. In effect. Yeah. I'm a big fan of an arm bread. I will quite often, when I was having curry, I would get a chicken tikka masala. For instance, I would take the curry, I'd take the, the chicken out, put it into an arm bread, make it into a wrap, eat it like a wrap. Yeah. On behalf of the listeners, John, you go and Peshwami, um, keema or plaid. Normally, normally, oh, well, if it's from a, if it's from an Indian, if it's from an actual like, uh, shop, uh, restaurant, not a shop, if it's from a restaurant, Peshwari, from the shop that you're doing in the oven yourself, garlic. Yeah. Like it. Like, I'll give you, you've left yourself, you've left yourself some choices in there. Yeah. Always, always, always leave yourself as choices, always, never, never, never, never box yourself in with what you're going to have at every restaurant you go to. Yeah. That sounds like, do you know what that could almost be a quote for a t-shirt, couldn't it? Never box yourself in in any restaurant that you go to, John Pearson. Not, not, not quite as pithy as it could be. But, uh, the freedom, well, well, we'll work on it. Yeah. Could struggle to get it on a badge, but a large t-shirt. Oh, no, I do. I, I've realised I am quite a boxer in of myself at places. I will have the same thing everywhere I go. We've, I'm not a big changer. We've got regulars from the Chinese. I almost know what things are going to have before we order it. Yeah. And dominoes. Yeah. Well, yeah. That's, and subway, subway for me as well. Easy. Italian BMT, Italian BMT, I'm a heart Italian. I can't believe we have to have a pause in there before he told us what it was. You were desperate to look at the other smart on your face as well. It's like you're going to go straight out to there to subway. I would love a foot, I would love a foot long Italian BMT and heart Italian with, uh, uh, I don't normally have on it. Gherkins, lettuce, tomato, uh, and that's it, really normally on that point. And then, um, barbecue and Southwest sauce. I mean, subway for a couple of years now, the last time I went in, the Sandridge, the Sandridge artist did not do a good job. They did not love their job. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Things are just shoved in. I felt it wasn't made with love. And so I won't be back. It's not for me. Not for you. Done. It's the end. It's not going back anymore. For me and subway, we're finished. Yeah. Subway, subway, subway out of the loop now on the, uh, on the draper. They've been removed from the circle of trust. So, yeah. So, yeah. Don't box yourself in at restaurants, but do box yourself in at restaurants. When you know what you want, I always get worried that I'm going to be like, oh, really wish I'd add that now. Yeah. I like to order last, so I can see what everyone else is having. Clever, clever, classic. I don't know why. Did you think that's a bit, I found that a little bit of the, like, why can't I just pick what I want? I just will wait to see what everyone else is having. I don't like to have the same as what someone else has got. Yeah. I can't, I can't even explain why. I make that type of choice rather than what I want, or it's calorific or health value. The thing that I want the most that no one else is having. Oh, what can I combine with someone else to make a super meal? Like a power. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There is a, I mean, we have got a, we've got an ultimate curry order. Ultimate curry order, go. Yeah, ultimate. Well, this is just for me and Kel, so sometimes we'll sit and have this as a takeaway. So from, but it's from two different curry houses. I like it already. Two delivery costs, but it's that good a curry? No, it's a, it's a definite Jon Astor planet and tell them when he's going to pick it up from one to then get to the other one in time so that it's still hot when he gets back. So it's a, it's, we have boom. There's a bonus source from one of the curry houses in Mount Moby, which is incredible. Like it's so good. So, and that's it. It's an asset. So it's a bit of a drive out. It's a 10 minute drive. And they do an incredible bonus source. So we have the boomer from there. And then I'll drive to the other curry house, which is right by where I live, like literally 10 minutes, a three minute walk. And they have Bombay potatoes, which are the most incredible bomb potatoes I've ever had. They're red. They're like amazing. It's just incredible. But the bonus of the bomb paper potatoes and this is from two separate Indians. Yeah. And then push wiring arms from either one. Yeah, it doesn't matter with those. Yeah, but we've, we've tried that. We've tried, we've tried them for both. They're both the same. I like the idea that you could get three involved and like use as many local businesses as possible. Oh, I've always said my ultimate, my ultimate fast food takeaway would have been at one point, Burger King chips with KFC meat, and then a McDonald's milkshake. Have you ever, have you ever, you could do that? Couldn't you in a certain motorway service stations where they've got all three? Probably could. Yeah, you probably could actually, could probably, could, that could be the ultimate would be incredible. Well, I'm going to do that one day now, I think. What, what? Although Burger King chips have gone down ill, apparently. I'm not a big fan of them anymore. What, what, what a day trip, John, that maybe should be for you and I. Yeah. I know this is supposed to be our eating healthily and losing weight, but I don't know. I don't even know that that's the thing anymore for me. He asked because you've got a suit. I tried this week, John. How many suit wears it? How many suit wears have you had this week to start with? I've had none. It's been like, it's been really, really hot, hasn't it? It's been really hot this week. It's even in short. It should, it should quite, it should quite, quite a challenge. We're wearing the, it should have been wearing the suit just to try and sort of really, yeah, we should have both been, we should have both been wearing bin bags underneath everything we've been wearing this week. So we could just lose a bit more weight. John, I fucking shit you, not brother. I have tried this week. I say tried. I had that big cheat, cheat down a half. I say tried. I've tried for five and a half days. Right. And as you know, we are corneto season kicked off and that's moved on. It's corneto season still going. Is it still, I was still, I was driving back to the office of the day and I was driving past Iceland and I was like, well, I can, I will give Iceland a check because they do great ice creams at great prices. So I did go in there and buy four or five boxes of ice creams to take it back to the office. It was swelching. This is on Wednesday of this week. So whatever day that was, it was really, really hot. Took the ice creams on the office and I had a Mars bar ice cream. Oh, one of those for a long time. I've got a story about them though. They're an incredible, an incredible ice cream. It's just, I almost inhaled it. It didn't last long at all because it was quite warm. It was going to melt. So I had one of them. There was also slightly, also slightly better when they are a bit more melty. I think a Mars bar ice cream. Don't like a solid, don't like it solid. It has to be like, yeah, you're half eating it, you're half drinking it. I could almost feel the texture now. It was incredible. Really, really, really nice. So that was Wednesday when I broke it on that day, but on Thursday, right? So she has been working away this week. Yeah. It was warm on Thursday as well. No, no, this, or whatever day it was. My youngest said, I got home, there was a note. It said I've got out for some minutes for the barbecue because with minutes for a barbecue because it's warm. Fair enough. My mother-led, he was like, I'm already sorted for food. My girlfriend's coming around. We're going to sort something. So I was like, I was in the position of cooking for one. I thought I'm not doing that. Right. I had a salad for lunch. I had a salad for my dinner. I had a double salad on that day. Double salad. Not a free sausage day, double salad day. Double salad day. I mean, what an incredible and frankly, quite dull day of food rise that was other than the ice cream. I thought, well, I've made up for the ice cream. He's like, no, I'm void. There's been barely any calories in this other than the sauce. I've lathered it with just just just the 1000 calories in the Mars bar ice cream. That's all you heard. And I bet you only had one, didn't you? And quite. Yeah, I did only have one. I was very good. Oh, well, I was shocked. I was shocked at that. You know what? That's that's showing good restraint. It is difficult to just have one of those because they are nice. So then we've had magnums in the fridge all week. I've not touched them. I've piled through an awful lot of fruit, them little easy peeler, oranges or tangerines, whatever they are. I was hammering through them. Hammering through every time I'm packaged. I have one of them. So I've been I've been really good. And I I felt like this is building up to something amazing. It should be. I would when I got on those skills this morning, I was excited up until the point when the numbers came up. Oh my god. Okay. Well, let's save it because I've got a story about Mars. Well, it's not a story. Mars ice creams. Yeah. I was one of the first children possibly. This is only possible. This is not confirmed. This is not the same as the email confirmed. One of the first children possibly to ever eat one in the UK. What's the story, John? What's the story that you tell me more about it? Tell me why you think right? I want to know several things. Why you think you were the first child? One of the first children to eat an ice cream, a Mars ice cream? Why why you feel this is important to your life? Why is this such a life-shaping and affirming event for you? Because you talk about Mars ice cream, it just reminded me that so my dad my dad works for the Mars group. My dad worked for Mars. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And they and but back in the day when visitors actually looked after the the employees and their families and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. My dad worked my dad worked to shift. It was awful. Like it worked so many shifts. It was ridiculous. But we had family days and they gave you things and we all went to the cinema. So it got a family day to the cinema on a certain date. So it was just full of all the Mars employees and their kids and them and everyone like that. Perfect. And it was it was I think it was Oliver and Company or something like that. The film was that watch it was like 1989. Yeah. So it was six. I remember I was six. And that's when they had intermissions at cinemas. So they stopped intermission and they and then the big announcement came out. So right new thing coming out to the UK now is the Mars bar ice cream. And they just gave them out for free in the cinema to all the employees. That's lovely. And then and then you were part of this cinema Mars bar launch. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. Six years old. What an amazing memory. Yeah. You look so pretty. I'm so proud of it. Have you ever have you ever whilst single used that story to try and get someone into bed? No. No. She looks like I'm proud of it. It's trying to work out that I'm the Mars bar kid. Yeah. Tell you something about Mars bars. I'll tell you what though. Tell you what. Do you like a Mars bar ice cream? Do I like them? I like them a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well. I'll tell you what. Tell you what. Tell you about those Mars bar ice cream. I was one of the first children in the UK to try them. I would I would sleep with you right now just for that one. They wouldn't be. They won't be. They will be on the shelves now if I liked it back there in that cinema. So good job. It's good job. We're in separate sheds. I can barely keep my hand. They came around. They gave us a survey. I had to tick whether it was good or not. It wasn't just a free ice cream. We're actually part of the focus group. It was part of a survey. Did you like it? I was six. I was just like, yep. Yes. I liked it. Yeah. I don't care. You just gave me this Mars bar that's cold for free. Yeah. I loved it. So that was part of my down four this week at the Mars ice cream and Mars ice cream. Salads and then alternate amounts of Cornettos. Yeah, I bought Cornettos as part of the ice cream hall, but I didn't know. Cornettos was the gateway the other way now. The gateway to ice cream. They're all in there now. They're all there now. They're all there. Only branded ones. To be fair, I am a bit of an ice cream snob. I will get the branded ones. They had some Iceland don't brand in there type Cornett or a type. Not nice. Well, we had there was there was sports there was sports day like this week as well. All right. Did you do into the parents? No, I did not. No, I did not into the parents race. What's their parents race? There was a parents race. What was it? It was it was an 100 meters or whatever it is that it's not 100 meters. It's not 100 meters. It's not 100 meters. It was whatever it is 50 yards or whatever. It wasn't far, but I surveyed the rest of the parents and thought, no, that's not for me. Well, because you couldn't win or because they looked way too competitive. Yeah, they all look way too competitive. I knew a few of them from living around here, and I knew that they will still play sports. Some of them still play football. I was like, there's no way I'm not embarrassing myself on this. But the best thing about sports day is that there's an ice cream truck. This is why you don't do well at parents races in sports days. Yeah, there was a double triple trip to the ice cream truck. Once to get something for Poppy and then realized that she wasn't coming out of school yet. So I had to have that. I think I had a slush. And then once Poppy came out of school, after sports day finished, it was another trip to the ice cream truck. To get a hairless slush. And yourself to take a trip? No, she got a slush. No, she got a slush. She got an actual ice cream, so she actually had an ice cream. And Kel had a vegan ice cream. I think she got herself. And then the cheeky, the absolute Colin Bastards that is the ice cream man. Evil John. He's not from round here. He's getting more than reform all the time. First up, he didn't want you to see your Chinese food. It's not really buying from local British ice cream, man. He's not from round here. Mate, Mate, round here, there is Uncle Dave and there's Miguel's, and they used to run this town for their ice cream. It's like ice cream wars round here, mate, honestly. And this says Uncle Dave on the side of it, but anyway, go on. Uncle Dave Mate has had 50 years of service and not one child has ever said that he's been touched by him. Hardly any kids have gone missing. Anyway, yeah, mine that child, I'll written on the back of it because there is a kid coming out of the boot of his van. But Uncle Dave's, he's not from round here. What's wrong with that? He wasn't just happy. His name's Harrison. My name is now, we'll see what happens. He's from over Skagnesway. He's got a fleet of vans, and then he was seeing a girly melton for a bit. So he had one van in Melton for a while. I think that relationship's now finished from what he's told me. And it turns up, so he obviously had been booked for this ages ago, but he doesn't live in Melton. He lives out in Skagnes, so he's had to drive from Skagnes with his van to this booking he's got for the sports day. So two trips to the ice cream van at sports day, back home, sat there. What do you hear on the street? Bloody ice cream man's come round again. It's Harrison. He's tripping around again. He's back in the most of his trip from Skagnesway. Yeah, of course he is. Of course he is. But I mean, meant that I had to go and get into the ice cream. You had to. I don't know what you thought. Harrison's evil, but really, he's just tapped into the ice cream in her own greed. I had a 99 dipped in sherbet in a waffle cone. That does sound quite nice, actually. Yeah, it was great. It's incredible. A little bit too sugary for my test, but yeah, fair play. Oh, it was good. It was good. It was really good. Yeah. So that's a two ice cream and a slush that you had. Is that right? Yeah, one day. Yeah. I don't feel so bad. Because I felt quite bad that I'd even had one ice cream when you smashed through the equivalent of three. Yeah, exactly. For no reason. I'm not even, I don't even try. I'm not going to try and work out what I had for dinner that day because it was that long. It was too long ago now. It was given an opportunity to exercise with a parent's race. Now, I'm not doing that. I've got ice creams to get through. I don't want to support myself. It's three ice cubes over here, mate. I don't know if you see it. I don't know what it is with my numbers in three. Why is it always three? Three sausage day, three ice cream day. Yeah. Yeah. Did you feel better for it? Yeah. It's all right. It didn't fill me up though, does it? It's not like you don't call away from having an ice cream going, "Oh, God, I couldn't eat another thing." I mean, how have you done for weight loss this week? Well, this is what I was just working all out because I've only weighed myself literally two seconds before we came on the call. Okay. So I'm just going through my very complex calculation system. Okay. Do you have a spreadsheet? No, it's all done on an app. All right. Did it give you a graph? My fitness, pal. Yeah, it does give a graph, yeah. Going to give you a fucking package. Is it a minute and tick? When it says, "Do you do you log your food in there as well?" No, I don't log my food in there. I mean, I thought I was badly prepared, John. This isn't great radio. Luckily, through the medium of editing, we can remove a lot of this dross. That's fine. So what we're going on? Are we going on BMI or are we going on? What we're going on? Well, I've got, I've got pounds, I've got stones, I've got kilograms and I've got BMI. We can go with one more. Oh my God. Oh my God. I've got a gamut of disappointment across my spreadsheet here. My BMI. When was the last time we weighed? I don't know when it was. Last Friday. What day was that? The day that we weighed was the 21st of June. Oh, yeah. I maintained. That's why I was confused. I maintained and there was no weight loss for me. Yeah. So that's why I was like, why has nothing happened for two weeks? Because I maintained. So, yeah. So, here you go. I've got, I've lost a pound. I've lost a pound. Have you lost a pound or are you smashing through ice creams like that? Did you eat anything else? No, nothing else, obviously. I think I've just been very good. Did a lot of work. Did a lot of walking, a lot of exercise, but a lot of walking and stuff. So, I'm still smashing like at least 12,000 steps a day. Wow. That's okay. Okay. Fair enough. And that's each one of your strategies, quite long, isn't it? Probably not. Yeah. So that's a male per strike covering a lot. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It doesn't take me long to walk anywhere. So, so, so, so has that made any difference at all to your BMI? It has made a difference about BMI. And do you want to tell exactly what difference it's made? Because it's not made. I don't know where I'm going to have to go down to. How many decimal places have you got to get to? Exactly. Yeah. I think I'm going to have to go down to a massive amount of decimal places to get this. So, it was, I don't know. We're all right. It was 35.8. It is now 35.7. So, it's got down 0.1 of a BMI. Well done, John. Thanks. Yeah, that's good. I'm delighted for you. Thank you very much. Okay. Now we move on to you. All right. Yeah. Are we doing that this week? Yeah, we got time. I think we should do. Yeah. I think we should do. Sweater fucking God, John. This, this takes the piss. The whole, the whole thing. So I first weighed myself on the 13th of May. I'm looking back at the spreadsheet record. At BMI of 31.39. Yeah. And we've had, as we know, various ups and downs through that. And last week, I thought it was good because I'd lost. I was down at 101, excuse me, kilos exactly, which is 31.17. So, you know, lost two off that, off that sort of first decimal place. This week, I've gone to 101.6. I've put on since last week, 0.6 of it, more than half a kilogram, more than half a kilogram since last week. And I'm 0.1 of a kilogram off what I actually started at in May after trying, okay, we've had ice creams. I think, but I'm back, I'm back up to pretty much where our fucking started. The graph looks horrific. It's, it looks like the cross section of a ski result. It's not, it's not come down at all. I'm at the point of fucking it off. It's not even because of the suit, because I did, I did try this way. Admittedly, okay, exercise hasn't been great. So yeah, so not, not good from a weight loss point of view. In fact, the opposite of weight loss. Yeah, weight gain. Good in a weight gain, weight gain point of view, great. Weight loss, not so great. Other than when I started, this is the heaviest I've been through the process. With that, that's quite a depressing sort of way to look at it, isn't it? From one point of view, my actual loss in kilograms is not 0.1 or in pounds, not even a pound. Like, it's a quarter of a pound. It's a hamburger from Matt Donald's. He's lost a, I'll give us a quarter pounder. You've lost a quarter pounder of weight. Wow. He's probably less than that by the time we get to eat it anyway, so slightly more than that burger. But yeah, not, not a great showing, has to say. It makes my original desired graph. And I think this week, I'll publish, I'll start to publish the graphs on the, yeah, on the website, on the, no, not the website, what social media. Yeah, yeah, those things, presuming, presuming, I'm still on them at that point. Yeah, I will, I will start to post what I've done. Oh, I'm not done. Oh, I've not achieved. It is, yeah, that's where we are. So, as, as Wayne's go, John, it's not, it's not great. Unless the, unless the op, unless the op, the, the, the, the, the intention was to put weight on. Which case, yeah, if you were trying, if you were trying to put weight on, I can't remember what day the suit was. The suit was, it was about, yeah, so yeah, I'm not about another kilogram heavier than when I bought the suit. So the suit is getting tighter. It would be doing if I was to wear it again. I've got no plundwares for that. So yeah, so probably just to trim off a little bit. But there's always room for expansionism in the suit. It didn't, it wasn't properly on its limits when I bought it. There's, there's a, there's a sort of an area of, of weights, which I think I'll be all right in. Okay, good. Good. I'm glad I'm glad the suit's gonna last. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's the one positive we can take from this. I saw something yesterday on Pinterest, which was about, oh, do this dearly if you're going to, if you want to lose weight, and it was a ridiculous amount of exercise. I mean, how much? Just remember exactly what it was. So the first thing I saw was, what's a crunch? What's a crunch? Oh, that's the, that's where you do a sit-up and bring your legs up, I think. Yeah. At the same time, is that a crunch? Yeah, involved doing a hundred of those. Oh, a day. Yeah. Yeah, but people, that's for people that want to be like, is that not for people that want to be sort of like proper ripped abs and all that sort of stuff. You said, do this if you want to lose so many pounds in so many days. And that's... How many pounds in how many days? Yeah, I can't remember, because when it said 50, doing 50 of something that, yeah, I didn't know what it was, but yeah, I didn't like the sound of it. I didn't go any further. I didn't save it, but it was, yeah, you had to do an awful lot. There's a few of those that crop up on Pinterest, do this if you, and then you read it, you just think, I'm not, I'm not doing that. I won't do that. I'm my own worst enemy through this job. Yeah, but I said, the reason you're not losing weight is because there's things you won't do. And those things are things like eating healthfully and exercising. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, fair play. Yeah, I think you've no good. Yeah, this whole idea of you, I don't know why I'm not losing weight. I've really tried this week. And then, but then pointed out that you've had Chinese ice creams and done no exercise. Yeah. Oh shit, do you know when you boil it down and deconstruct it like that, it does sound quite obvious. Yeah, as we started out, this podcast saying there is one main way for losing weight, and that is to eat less and move more. Yeah, we did say that we have gone circular and it feels as though I've not, I've not listened to that. I blinked though, right? This is the thing, John, I blink. And before you know it, it's sort of, it's the week against the week's done Friday, again, I think shit, I've not done any of the things that I promised that I might do in the last podcast. The time has just gone. Well, you know, it's also not healthy to lose weight at an extortionate rate. So you're just lost. You're just even out the curve. I've lost a quarter of one pound in nine weeks. I'm sure that's a very healthy level of weight loss. By the end of the year, you would have lost about about a pound. He's barely a weight loss. Yeah. So here we go. I need, I feel like, do you know when you feel like you need some proper outside intervention to help? And I feel I wonder if the only thing that's going to do it, and I hit a joke about things like this, is a heart attack. Well, I'm forced, forced to think of my own mortality in order to sort of change lifestyle choices, because I do just seem to trundle along and do whatever. I'm not unhappy with that. It's only when you start to examine the sort of the weight and you feel your clothes get tighter and have to go out and buy new ones that you think, yeah, this isn't, this isn't really good exercise. Right. Well, I will point out, so I know you, and I've done this podcast with you for, well, six weeks, seven, if you count. We've been friends a long time. So I think we know each other relatively well. Yeah. Well, what I would say is, don't exercise and then go, well, I've exercised so I can eat what I want. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Right. Because I'm the same, I'm the same person. I've like, oh, I've smashed loads today. But John, over the last 20 minutes, 10 minutes, however long we've been talking, you've done hardly any exercise and you've eaten the loads, or you've been doing like steps and walking and that, and you've eaten like loads, but you've still lost a pound. But I think that's because I've got, I've got stuff to lose. All right. Like lots. I've got a lot to lose. And that is a thing, isn't it? Like when you're much bigger, it comes off quicker. Yeah. Okay. All right. So if I want to, if I want to lose weight fast, I'm going to pile a load on first. Yeah. Pile it all on. Pile it on the two stone on, and then come back to me with complaining about not losing weight quick enough. Fine. Okay. I thought, I thought that giving them sugar would help, but it doesn't seem to have done anything. I'd given them sugar in drinks. I mean, I say give it up sugar entirely, but you've had a Mars ice cream. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how I don't know how you'd give up sugar. It's in everything, isn't it? Yeah, you can't really get a sugar is a very difficult thing to give up, I would say. Other than, yeah, it's pretty much in, it's in some bread. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that. There's probably someone somewhere that does it. I don't know that I'm that person that's able to do it, because I think it would involve time, wouldn't it, just to cook everything from scratch. You wouldn't be getting your Lloyd Grossman jars, you wouldn't be going out to four different Indian restaurants or buying Chinese food. It probably involves a lot of fresh veg time and being extra irritating. The type of I've already become. So here's some of the, and I'm giving up sugar in drinks, I've already become a person that I don't like. So give up sugar in coffee. I enjoyed a coffee in the morning. When you give up sugar, you do realize their old foul coffee is. It's not, it's not a great tasting drink when you have instant. So I've been going out and buying like ground coffee to have an experience. I have like one nice cup of coffee it is. So now, I've made instant coffee and drink them all for myself. So if I was to come to your house, and you say, oh, hey, do you want a coffee? I'd say something like, what type or something. You'd become a coffee snob. You'd become a wanker, John. I don't like that at all, what I've become. So yeah, I've ruined things for myself. I was happy when I had sugar. Well, yeah. But that's because you're just tasting the sugar, they're not tasting the actual drink. Yeah. You're having milk in that coffee as well. Fuck me, don't take that away from me. Just start with that. I mean, I'm not going, fair play. I'm not having a pop of vegans. I couldn't go vegan because of dairy. I don't like dairy. And how am I going to eat eggs? You can eat, well, yeah, that's true. We've already said that there's been this podcast, how good eggs are for you. And I'm going straight into that too. Yeah. Can't be going vegan and just taking eggs out entirely. Yeah. Will you ask Kelly if I'll always have bread with eggs? So I need what, if I'm going to have eggs, what would I have with them that isn't bread? Okay. Yeah. I'll get on that. I'll get on that question. He's got a moist element to it, hasn't it, an egg? Right. So I'm going to send her a message now since she comes back in the time that the podcast has finished. Patrick's asking, so what do you want to say? I always have bread. Yeah. I mean, given the extensive editing schedule that we've got, I'm not going to get an answer for a good three or four weeks. But that's fine. Yeah. Okay. To have with eggs. I mean, clearly, I'm not in a rush to lose weight. But if the last nine weeks are anything to go by, I'm happy just to amble along. That's my plans for next week, John. I think I need to exercise a little bit more. I'll see you this all the time. I will come back next week with stories of exercise. Less eating. I'm going to try. I'm going to try and do two eggs. When right now, that's good. That's right. Pause the podcast. I'm going to go and boil some eggs. Got fucking egg, egg rush coming on. Yes. It's a two. It's a two egg days, Patrick. It's a two egg day today. But yeah, I might try it. I mean, I have seen so much stuff about just eating protein, like a high protein diet is what will bring the weight down because it fills you up. I can get there with eggs, can I? Yeah. It's a lot of eggs. I don't think you want to be around anyone. I don't think it'd be a horrible. Eggs has another side effect, doesn't it? If you eat too many eggs? Yeah. Yeah. It has a very bad side effect to life. Yeah. So we don't want that, do we? No, no, we're not wanting any of that. We're not wanting any of that whatsoever. Okay, so lacklustre week on the weight loss. I've gained, you've lost next to nothing. This is wake up call week. Yeah, it is. This is what we should call it, wake up call week. This is where we should be on it now. I mean, this is shit. We're laughing, but this is shit, isn't it? I've put on loads. I'm almost at the point where I started. I feel as though this is the point where, fuck me, if you're listening to this and you sell drugs that sort of keep us thin and the cheap, can you let us know? That'd be great. So we don't have to let us know. I mean, yeah, I mean, how's the hypnosis gone? How's that going? Board of him. These big fat hands, I can't do it. I can't do it. I've tried, and I have tried for it, but I just end up sat down, sorry, laying down for half an hour, listening to him consciously, saying what he's saying. There may be, there's a trick to being hypnotized that I don't know. Maybe you need to be a little bit more relaxed. I can't do it. I think I'd struggle to keep a straight face if I was to meet Paul McKenna now. Really? There must be something else to it that I'm not getting, but yeah, I'm not. It's not. I understand what he's saying. And I think I've stuck to the rules, eat slowly when you're hungry, but I've not, I've not been hypnotized once by, in spite of trying. I've got an answer from Kelly. All right. What about the bread? Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, we've got an answer. This is incredible. This is like, ultimate, like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Breaking news. Hang on, everyone. I just need to put the scalpel down. John's asked a question. So yeah, we've got the answer is, whatever kind of lean meat you're allowed on diets, I guess, although he could definitely have one piece of toast or something. Also, she's allowing you one piece of toast. Yeah, this is it. I've got no willpower. If I've got bread, unless, unless he really wants to cut out all breads. Yeah. So you want to cut out all breads. Well, what's the answer? Me. So yeah, me, that's as lean meats. Maybe some, this isn't chicken. Yeah. Okay. That is helpful. That is helpful. I won't be following it. It is helpful. Yeah. Not. If you want, once you've got a bit of egg on toast, and I've got to grill up some gammon in order to have incredible. Now I'm thinking about that. Now I'm thinking about gammon egg and chips is what I'm thinking about. For, um, for Friday brunch. Internally, the opposite is just going to, I'll, I'll go do the bike route today, John, and I'll put the GoPro on the bike so we can have a little bit of content. We can see how, how badly treated by car users as a fat, a fat block on a bike. Because I'm not, I don't look as stable. So I'll look a little bit unsteady. How's the, so that that was about the next question is also, how's the, uh, how's the dash cam gone in the car? Love it. Love it. It's amazing. Love it. It is amazing. I do. It's quite a faff to get the footage off. So I've got loads of footage on there that I need to just sit in the car and remove from it. Okay. I've got, I've got, I've, I don't miss to make this edit even more impossible, but I'm getting multiple messages now from Kelly while we're, while we're still on it about the, the egg situation. Go on. All right. So, um, I've told her that she's now our dietary advisor, basically. She's now our dietary advisor, which is great. I like the fact that this is what we're doing. Um, so what, whatever Lee meets, that's what she said. Um, I said, no, you want to try and cut bread out entirely. She put, I'd say the meat then, like bacon cooked in the oven or low fat sausages or something, lol. Right. Oh, only way to make it filling. Or just have an omelette with whatever you like in there, but no cheese, omelette, but no, no cheese though, no cheese. Okay. I do know, I've never made an omelette. Um, I'm going to, I'm going to have a go. I've got plenty of eggs in. Oh, there you go. Is it, is it just, yeah. Okay. I'm not going to sort of waste. I'll make a difficult edit by looking at omelette recipes. But, um, although, although I just told, well, I was told Kelly that she's our dietary advisor. She's put, yay. And then she put, although I am now currently eating probably my 23rd Mento of the day. Are they bad? They're little chewing mints. I quite like them little chewing mints. I've done quite a lot. Oh, she's, she's, she's a fruit one. She's a fruit, she's a fruit, she's a fruit Mento. Okay. But are they full of sugar? Are they, they surely have zero? I imagine if I imagine they're full of sugar. I have a packet of them a day. Yeah. Oh, easy. I could do it. Then sometimes we'll buy Mentos, four pack of Mentos, four pack of fruit teller. It does not even sort of nearly last a night sometimes. Yeah. Right. Sat down watching Telly watching TV or watching a film or whatever. Easily pile through two packets of fruit teller. Given everything else we've said, John, I can't look to you for any diet advice. Why not? No, no, it's like a solid diet advice. Come on. You have three ice creams in one day. You get your names. Mate, mate, don't start talking to me about dietary advice when I'm the only one that's losing weight on this podcast. Okay. You've got me there. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not going to take dietary advice from you, John. Like what's the, yeah, my proven, proven track record of losing weight. Yeah. No, that's not to use that. Yeah. Yeah. Fair play. You win this round, but not the what? You want to bet on this. You want some sort of what you're allowed to do, something to what a cheat day if you manage to win. That feels as though that gets in the way of everything else, doesn't it? If you don't, I say a domino. But while I'm saying, I'm going to get like, yeah, you get a cheat day. But also, if you don't, you've got to, you've got to take something else out of your diet that you don't want to take out. So if you, if I lose more weight than you next week, then I am going to suggest that we take milk out of your diet. You can't have milk in coffee. I have to find something new for breakfast as well. I have cereal with milk. You can have it with oat milk. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'll do it. I can't take milk out forever, but I'll take it out for a week. If I, if I, if I, and then you have to, I can't think of which aspect because you've switched from having loads of sausages one day to having loads of ice creams the next, but no sweets. No sweets for a week. And that includes ice creams. So chocolate, something like that, sugary snack. Oh, no, anything, anything. So yeah, take out all sugary snacks out of my diet for a week for a week. If I've no way of policing and you've no way of policing the milk thing. No, not at all. I know. But it's, it's a, but I feel like we're both that person. Yeah, we've got some trust here. It's fine. I've got honor and dignity. If anyone, if anyone's listening to this and doesn't, you know, I wants to contribute anything whatsoever, then please let us know at low the term podcast@gmail.com or get out, get a hold of us on these socials. We've got Facebook and Instagram now. Yeah. Yeah. Get on there. Give us your feedback. We'd love to hear from you. Also, if you, if you listen to the podcast, just give it a review, give it a five star review, whatever podcast system you're listening to this on, that'd be lovely because that helps us with all the algorithms and gets us into charts and all that sort of sugar. All that shit. Yeah. Oh, don't, you know, I like it. You know, there's, there's not going to be a pay well for this. I just like just hopefully you've got something from it. If not, an air of smugness, if you manage to sort of eat healthier and lose weight in a way that we can't. Maybe people are doing diet, diet along with John and Pat. And there's going to be a lot of people that are quite pleased in the fact that over the last six weeks, they might have lost some weight and you've only lost a quarter of a pound. That's right. Yeah. Well done you. If that is you, I'm genuinely pleased for you. Yeah. And also, there might be people that are doing diet line with Pat and they're quite happy in the fact that they've also lost a quarter of a pound. Because it's a loss, isn't it? It is coming down. Yeah, it's a loss. It's a loss. It's a loss coming down. You can't deny it. It's coming down. It's making a difference. John, I shall see you again in seven days time, brother. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Goodbye. Yeah, no problem. Thank you very much. Goodbye, everybody. Bye. [BLANK_AUDIO]