(upbeat music) Live from the Bifnet Studios World Headquarters in Spring, Texas, it's Barry on deck. Hosted by former ESPN Houston radio host and stand-up comedian Barry Laminat. Starring Oliver the Cat. Written by Barry Laminat. Produced by Barry Laminat. Directed by, you guessed it, Barry Laminat. Featuring sports, entertainment, special guests, film sessions, and some drinking. Okay, a lot of drinking. Viewer discretion is advised. And now, here's your host, Barry Laminat. Oh, what's up, you damn dirty dickheads. Welcome to Barry on deck. I am your host, Barry Laminat. Thank you guys for being here today is Tuesday, July 30th, 2004, and this is episode number 820. A Barry on deck. Welcome to the show, welcome to the program. Hey, hello, hi, how are ya? Holy shit, what a morning. What a morning. Jeez Louise, craziness abounds in the Laminac household. Try as I might, I'll be damned if I'm gonna be able to start this show on top. I don't know what it is. It seems like every day I'm like, all right, this is the morning when I'm going to stun everybody and get back on track. It's like the devil just is like, no, no, it's not. I've kinda just given up. I'm just like, you know what, the show starts when it starts. I don't give a fuck. Like, everybody just be prepared for two o'clock. It's just gonna start when it starts. Okay, I mean, this show used to be a two hour show. Hell, it used to be a three hour show. And now it's just a whatever hour show. It's just what, by the way, yeah. Look at that, bullshit. Well, ingrown hair going action there. Hell, ingrown, yeah, that's not good. No, it's not herpes, bitches. See, my other guy said, so can we say the window is closed now? Why would you, why would you lead with that? Why would you, why would you say that? Why are you saying, what does that mean? What is that, uh oh, I hate that stupid ass thing. Why are you saying, can we say the window is closed now? Why are you, why are you saying it like that? I'm not sure I follow the logic here. Stephen, the weather guy. Well, happy MLB trade day, trade deadline day. I should day, I should say, jeez, what a morning. And afternoon, happy MLB trade deadline day. I was hot and heavy on the phones this morning, trying to get you guys a guest. If you didn't hear the news for all the folks here in H town, baby, H town till I drown. Assows made a big trade over the evening and we're gonna get into it. I'll give you my thoughts on it, but mid trade with the Toronto Blue Jays. And so I tried to find someone from the Toronto area to join me on this fine program. To give us their thoughts on the, on the trade and kind of what their thoughts are on what the Astros are getting in Kukuchi, what they felt like the Astros gave up. Did they overpay this? That just their thoughts on it. And yeah, I couldn't get anybody on short notice such as this. So yeah, maybe I can get somebody to join tomorrow. But today was just not happening. So yeah, I reached out to a couple of people that I kind of had some contact information on. I even tried on Twitter. You may have seen me tweetin' somebody from the athletic. Some people had their DMs open, so I was able to not have to do it in public. The Kukuchi jokes are already old, F.J. We went, I had to put up with them yesterday. All right, you know what? Here's the deal. You guys, you guys have until it's 2.33. You have until 2.40. You have until 2.40. To get all of the Kukuchi jokes out of your system. And then I don't wanna hear any more of these lame ass Kukchi jokes, okay? Get them all out, get go. Chat, the Kukchi joke window is open. Get them all out. I want every, Donna, thank you for the 50 bit sweetie. Get every Kukchi joke you have in the chamber out now. Because it's two E's, go, get 'em out, go. F.J. got him one off. Stephen got his, what, Clarence was firing on. That's how you know your jokes suck. If Clarence is making the same joke as you, your jokes are lame. You should feel ashamed of yourself, F.J. You should feel ashamed of yourself, Stephen the weather guy. You're making the same jokes as Clarence. Now how do you feel? Now you might as well be making knock knock jokes. Jesus. Yeah, the Clarence joke index. And you're doing it a day later, no less. That's a great point, Clarence. Not only are you making the same jokes as Clarence, you're doing it a day later. Can it get any worse? My God. F.J. said, I'll go to my room now. Yeah, get 'em out. You got 'em until 240. Yeah, just go, just get it, just tear into it. Have fun, no repercussions. After that, start, start. What is that? What's the most? Crack his skulls. Yeah, what up, Key Sager? Good to see you, buddy. Good to see you, my friend. That's a good point too, Stephen. Total Dallas' dumb ass isn't even here. Imagine that. Imagine if the Rangers would have traded for his stupid ass. Could you imagine the suffering we would have to put up with then? God, thank God. Anyway, so we're gonna break down that trade. I'll give you my thoughts on it. I'm a little hesitant to do this, but I might get into it a little bit with some of the statistics. I might get a little nerdy on you, okay? Just get a little, not too nerdy, not too down in the weeds. I know some of you are like, yeah, you don't like it and that's fine. But I might get a little down in the weeds with you on some of the stats for Kikuchi and for also Joy Lo Perfito, Will Wagner, Anne Bloss, because I want you to kind of see what the realness of this trade is. What the numbers on the surface are versus what the numbers, what the underlying numbers are, at least from a statistical analysis is, right? You never know. These guys still have to go out and perform, but we'll get into that. I don't know that I'll go, you know, I'm not gonna spend hours on it, but I do wanna kind of give you an idea and maybe it'll help you kind of understand what the thinking might be within the organization and why they did the move. But we're gonna get into it. I will have a whole discussion. I want your thoughts on it. Do you like the move? Do you not like the move? Do you like what they gave up? Do you not like what they gave up? We're gonna get into all of that. So yeah, we'll dive into that. We'll talk about other trades as they go down. I'm gonna put a trade tracker up. Let's see. MLB trade deadline tracker. MLB had a good... Actually Fox had a good one too. CBS Sports, let's see. Oh, my stomach is making all kinds of gnarly noises. Let's see here, history. MacBook Pro. Oh, let's see. Open up the history page here. Tabs from other devices. Let's see if I could find. There was, there we go. Yeah, this was a good one. Okay, Astra's made another minor move since we've been on the R. I don't know that I can necessarily put this on screen, can I? Actually, you know what I could do? Let me see. I wonder if... I wonder if this auto refreshes. Let me see. Let's see, hold on. I'm going to take this. I am going to add an overlay here. Let's go add a browser overlay. Add this URL here. Yo, yo, yo. Ah, dude. Oh, my goodness, that looks crazy. Hmm, this is not quite what I expected. Yeah, not really what I expected at all. Hmm. Well, I guess it's not going to work out the way I wanted it to work out. I was hoping to get some sort of trade deadline tracker thing going. Here, you know what I might do? I'm going to switch to this. Maybe what I can do. Let's fix this. Let's see. Can you guys see that? Can you guys even see that? Can you guys see that? I don't know if it's worth it. Let me see. Oh, shit. Oh, come on. Is that hard to see? I feel like that might be too hard to see. Okay. Hmm. Um. Hmm. Yeah, that might be. Yeah, that might be too much to see. Okay. Well, that's not going to work. So, fuck it. I'll just have to keep an eye on it and tell you about it, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. In larger screen. Yeah. I was going to try to add it. I don't know how else to do this. Um. I don't know how else to add this in here. Oh, maybe that'll work. Yeah. Look at that. Okay. That will work. Hey, hey, hey. Daddy fixed it. All right. So, we'll do this. There we go. So, there's kind of a trade tracker. Down to the bottom right. There you go. I'll give you a bit of a trade tracker. Uh, and then I'll try to refresh that every now and then. Uh, just to give you an idea of what's going on. So, uh, latest one, by the way. I don't know if you can see that. Maybe I can, uh. Zoom in there a little bit. Does that help a little bit? Can you see that? Does that make it a little easier to read? Mm hmm. Um. Yeah. I'm trying to make it so where you guys don't miss anything from it. There you go. There you go. Cool. All right. There's the last couple of trades. Um. That should be good enough. All right. So, um, not really understanding the Astros trade. Ericerson does it. Yeah. We'll talk about it. I don't know why, but how's it been going with the Boner pills? I mean, weight loss meds. It's kind of slowed down. Um, I'll get to that in a second. Uh, Donna said Astros are going to Astros. If you've been a fan for a bit, you should know their moves. Don't seem to make sense, but for the most part, they come through. Pretty good point, Donna. Um. There's no more Koochie jokes because I didn't know we were getting old Koochie. For high dollars. Shame. Uh, Ian said trade alert who called my, who called my name out. I don't think anybody called you out Ian. Nobody calls you out Ian. Did they? They call you out. Stephen, the other guys at first, he said basically we waited too long. So we had to overpay. Then he said, I'm a draft guy, not a trade guy is what Dana Brown's comments were. I didn't hear that. I don't think he waited too long. So they had to overpay everybody waited too long. The fact of the matter is there was not a lot of opportunity. You were going to overpay regardless. That's just the options in this year's trade market were there was no Verlanders. Right. There was no Verlanders. There was no Garrett Coles. There was no, there was no great opportunities. So that meant you were probably going to overpay. And if no matter what you did, unless it was something like this, Astros acquired Caleb Ferguson from the Yankees for minor legal and international pool money. Key stats, Ferguson's 513 ERA, 1.5 whip, 41 strikeouts, 33 innings, 42 appearances. Alex Cobb going to the Cleveland Guardians. It's crazy. Let's see. Do they link? Where did they link off to? Oh, they link directly to their own stuff. Okay. What we need to do. I need to pull up baseball reference because we're going to be using that today as well. All right. So we're going to be getting in on some baseball reference. Like I said, we'll be using some stats. So I do have some headlines for you. We'll do some Olympic updates. No Olympic spoilers, by the way. If you've been watching the Olympics, I know Ian is our resident headline guy. Ian, no Olympic spoilers. That goes for everybody else. Please, no Olympic spoilers for those of us that watch it in the evening. I've already ruined one for myself. I got on ESPN to do headlines and sure as shit, there was a spoiler. I'm not going to ruin it for the rest of you, but I will warn you, don't go to ESPN's website. It will ruin it for you. Son of a bitch. But just don't do it. Don't do it. It'll ruin it for you. What's up? Randy Randy Ashford on YouTube said, "Pitchers are always a high commodity after sleeping on it. I don't see it as bad. I don't see it as bad after checking ages and stats of the players." We're going to get into it, like I said. Every team in the market, every team's in the market for a starting pitcher. Yup. Tilled out that I hate giving up prospects. Did you make them Bob said team did not win gold? Thank you for the update. Rudy Rob, what's up? Okay. Don't say the quiet part out loud. Stephen, the other guy said. But that's been Dana Brown the whole time. That's been Dana Brown the entire time. You know what I mean? He's always said, "Everything." You know what's funny is that we've always, who talks shit about me while I do this show, my nose always seems to itch when I start to shit. My nose never itches before I start doing this show. And then once I get here and start doing this show, my nose just goes crazy, it starts itching. I can't help it. I don't know why. You know who's talking shit about me. Yeah. So we'll Twitter. Twitter will definitely ruin the Olympics for you with spoiler updates. What's up heart throw up. We're going to get into it. We're going to dissect the trade, like I said, I've talked to the Olympics. I still got to tell you about the Tulsa trip. I still want to share with you my thoughts on I rode in a Tesla for the first time on the way to Tulsa. And I have many thoughts on it. If you've never ridden in a Tulsa, a Tesla, I think you'll find it interesting. If you have, you may be able to relate. If you drive one, you might be able to argue with me about it. How many, does anybody in here drive a Tesla? Does anybody, does any deckheads or anybody that listens to this program drive a Tesla? I don't think we have any deckheads that drive a Tesla. Heart Throb said the parents turning on their kids in Tulsa was hilarious. Oh my God. That was so great. That was so great. There were people coming up to me after the show telling me that if, if I created actually Amanda, the sound chick at the club was like, you should, because I jokingly said, I should have merch that said hashtag fuck them kids, or I should have merch that said fuck them kids. She goes, Oh my God, you would sell out. I was like, you think so? She goes, Oh yeah. And I think I probably would have sold a shit load of them at that show that night. Um, Steve is, I'm a goddamn American and I burn fossil fuels. Yeah, Donna said it, she knows me and someone is coming to visit. You've told me that before. And I always screw it up. I always remember it being in someone's talk of shit about me. Um, Chris, you said I've been in a couple of Teslas, but I went with the BMW electric car. Okay. Can you charge your BMW at a Tesla charging station? Or do you, it can only be charged like at a BMW charging station or at home? So I guess at home, how does that work, Chris? Uh, Alex Villanueva said, if Dana is a talent guy and not a trade guy, why is he a GM? Not question, it's a fair and valid question. If you're going to be a GM, you really need to be both. Because if you're, if your claim is, if you're Dana Brown and you go on the radio and say, Hey, if you didn't like the trade, well, you know what, I'm really a talent evaluator and not a trade guy. Okay. Well, you know what that means? Couldn't be a GM, you should be head of scouting. I mean, that's, that's, that's the, that's the truth. Your title should not be GM. It should be VP of scouting. So while I get it, maybe don't say that if you don't want to catch the, the, and I tend to think maybe he's, I don't know, I don't know why he's saying these things out loud, but yeah, I don't know. He's definitely, he's definitely catching a lot of flack for the trade. People are saying that he's overpaid, but again, we're going to get to it. I bet Tesla's like Apple make you use their charging dongle. Could be. Let's see, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. How many charge stops along the way? It was two charging stops. It was two stops between here and Tulsa 30 minutes per stop. So it wasn't too bad. Donna said I get Tesla Ubers now and again, oh, yeah, that's cool. My mom knew all the old wives tales, oh, yeah, oh, Chris said there are other charging stations and there's a lot of them that I can charge for free for three years. Oh, wow, well, that's pretty cool. So you can go, you could travel because like that's one of the things I worry about getting an electric car if I were to get one is I can't drive the Wichita. Is there enough charging stations and shit? You know what I mean? Does Caesarea, doesn't Caesario say this about himself? I don't know. I've never heard that. I mean, here's the thing about Dana Brown saying I'm a talent evaluator, not a trade guy or Caesario saying the same thing. We always say we want these guys to just be honest with us. And then when they are, we're shocked. What? You know, we can't have it both ways, right? Do you want them to tell us the truth and just be honest with us and answer the questions honestly when they're asked? Or do you want them to just lie to us and give us coach speak, general manager speak and everything else? Can't have it both ways. Let's see another guy. Oh, FJ said he's GM to be the fall guy when shit hits the fan. I don't know about that. I disagree. FJ in that Dana Brown is really highly regarded and very well respected for his ability to evaluate talent. I mean, he built the Atlanta Braves organization and farm system. And the reason that they have so much talent is Dana Brown. And so that's why he was given the Jaws as guys and gals progress through sports and really any walk of life, you know, they have certain skills they have, they excel in certain areas of their job, and that's how they rise above everybody else and doing what they do. So Dana Brown just happened to be a fantastic talent evaluator and rose above in the ranks in Atlanta, I guess. So it's not a knock. It's just what he's really, really good at and to say I'm Italian about a talent evaluator not a trade guy, I think is a bit misleading. It just means he's really, really good at that as opposed to being really, really good. It doesn't mean he's a bad trade guy. It just means he's better at evaluating talent. And I think too, what that could mean is, yeah, yeah, I gave up these guys, but I like what we got. I think Yusek Kukchi is a fantastic talent. And I don't think that the talent we gave up is fantastic talent. So you also have to take that into account. You know, when people say you overpaid, well, if I'm a talent evaluator, I look at talent and go, well, I didn't see a ton of talent in low profito, or I didn't see a ton of talent in Bloss, or I didn't see a ton of talent in Will Wagner, Will Wagner was what, 26? That's pretty old for AAA. So I mean, maybe that's, you know, and the opposite could be true too. Like Darrow Moray was a fantastic trade guy, oh, he could trade all day long. And the greatest talent evaluator either. And Darrow Moray had to draft, good luck. You know, so it's not a huge knock on Dana Brown. And is it terrible that you recognize what your strengths and weaknesses are? I don't necessarily think so. Yeah, what's up, treetop Fox? Good to see you, sweetie. How are you? Hope you're doing good. What up? Extend a toe now? Good to see you as well. Look at that. Jared Taylor rolling in, three o'clock hour. Everybody's getting off work, taking drinks and I guess, I don't know. At least they didn't trade blue ball. What? I don't even know what that means. Steven, the other guy said, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like, uh, Luna, you heard about the whole department making decisions. You don't hear that anymore. Yeah, extend a toe now. I just saw that guardians, uh, get Alex Cobb. Another there. Yep. Another raised prospect. Yeah. And the guardians got him like they needed any more help, she's best even baseball. Well, record wise at least got better. Um, all right, so let's get into it. Let's start with, let's start with our sports headlines because it's going to kind of lead us into trade deadline. And then I'm about to get nerdy. Hang on. Because I'm about to get nerdy into this trade for the Astros. So, but, but if you, even if you're not an Astros fan, stick around. Even if you're not a die hard, um, Houston Astros fan, I want you to hang around for a minute because you're actually going to learn something I think about modern day baseball and statistics that I think will help you when you look at trades that are made for your favorite team. So, extend a toe now when you see the Rays trading away all of their prospects and, um, its players or what you might perceive as their best players and getting prospects back or whatever. Um, some of the things I'm going to teach you about some of the statistics that you might not be paying attention to, uh, this might help change your perspective of some of these trades. And I, the reason I'm doing this is because I think in particular, um, this trade that the Astros have made and this, this trade that the Astros have pulled off with the blue J's going out and getting you say kukuchi, uh, from the blue J's on the surface. When you look at these numbers, for example, you go, Oh, damn, four nine four seventy five ERA a 1.34 whip. That's awful, but there's some other numbers that we can look at where you go. Oh, okay. Well, that's a little bit different, but you need to know what those numbers are and what those numbers mean and why kukuchi was one of the more sought after rental pieces on the trade market in major league baseball. So we're going to get into that a bit. But for now, so stick around because you're going to learn something even though it doesn't relate necessarily to your favorite team, it may not be the Houston Astros, but you will learn something about stats in general, um, and what some, you know, some key stats you might want to look for, uh, here in baseball. So yo, what up Vincent, there's gentleman Vincent Lucio in the building, that's family right there. Family, baby. Oh, shit. We got a truck driver. Pookie signing. Holy shit. Gang's all here, man. This is crazy. My tree top Fox rolling in extended toenails here yesterday. We had Captain Pope. We got my brother in law popping his head and this is crazy, man. All of you are going to learn something today I feel like I'm going to go through some things. In fact, in fact, I'll throw out some things that you're going to be like, Oh, shit, we're going to talk about fit. We're going to talk about X fit. We're going to talk about, uh, batting average on balls and play bad bit. Yeah. We're going to talk about weighted runs created, WRC plus, we're going to get into that kind of shit because those numbers matter way more than even, uh, OPS in fact, if you want to look at OPS, look at OPS plus. Don't look at OPS. Look at OPS. Plus, right? You want to don't look at average, don't look at a slash line. So we're going to get into all that in a minute, but for now, let's get to your sports headlines, Stephen, the weather guy said, do we get some exclusive laminac excel spreadsheet? No, there's no damn spreadsheet. I'm going to try to break it down for you. What is this? What is this? This was not, this is some bullshit. Hold up. My damn thing didn't download son of a bitch. All that talking and it didn't even download you. Raggedy bitch. Oh, let's try this again. Let's try this again. See if it works. It sure did not. I hate this. I hate you so much. You little raggedy bitch. Hold on, there she goes. Let's do this again. All right. Cut. All right. Places everyone reset, reset. Okay. Roll sound. Roll sound. Roll camera. All right. And action. All right. There's sports headlines for the day. Amos said, "All right. Just tell me to come back at four." Amos, you might learn something, bro. You don't want to learn something about baseball statistical analysis. You don't want to be educated, man. You don't want to learn when someone's like, "Oh, yeah." But, you know, if you look at Kakuchi's babib compared to his Fip and his X-Fip, he's really, and then you'd be like, "Yeah, fam." For a show, I mean, you know, all right. Amos said, "You lost me a bit." What? Boom back. Amos is like, "Yeah, I'm into that boom back. That's some old school hip hop, right?" But hit him with the boom back. Steve, like I said, I just want to hear Barry say, "X-wobu." Okay. Um... Oh, FJ, you raggedy bitch, you raggedy bitch. Stats will still better than a dimple Wolverine movie. I will slap the fire out of you. Art drops head somewhere in a far, far way land. Sean hates stuff as like, "Great baseball stats." Where is Sean? He's abandoned us. Sean has not returned to the show. He hates us, and it's okay. Vincent said, "Is that the same as Beebop?" Beebop the boom back. No, it's not the same. Babib. Batting average on balls in place. Son of a bitch. At less than a minute, 504 to the principal's office with you, sir. Damn! Damn! Damn! Well, tonal Dallas, you're safe for the day. Art drop just timed out, FJ. Look at that. He gone. So FJ just got a 10 minute timeout. We'll see you in 10 minutes, play. Babboo. [laughter] Checked out Boogie says, "Say hi to Sean for his FJ." I've just FJed so much. Oh, my God. Oh, why did it have to end like this? Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, where's Mark G at, too? He don't come around much. Look at Mark Dokes. I don't see Mark anymore. I don't see Sean hates stuff. I mean, you know, what you gonna do? Acronem's Vincent knows. D-I-A-F-B-I-D-E-A-N-S-A-S-I-S. That's true. Guys, don't fuck with Vincent in the chat. He will. He's a mercenary. Shelby is gone? Yeah, don't start making the list on it. It's gonna make me sad, okay? Don't make the list. It's gonna make me sad. Art drops it. I'll listen to a lot of bullshit, but Deadpool blasphemy isn't one of them. Good looking out. Clarence said breaking news. Astro's is traded orbit for Spencer, the cat, Oliver, the cat, the mini fridge by the bathroom and cash considerations. I don't want that big fat son of a bitch in this house. Keeping now, Barry has declined the trade. You think Nora would trade Spencer and Oliver for orbit? Hell no. Ain't no way she'd do that. All right, let me get to these headlines so we can get into this trade and then we can talk about Teslas and Tulsa and comedy and all those other sh- and the Olympics. I watched it last night. I ain't gonna lie. That might be the first time in my life I've ever been into Mins Gymnastics. That shit was bananas and I'm not talking about because their pants were tight. What? Okay. The Astro's have selected Pedro Leon's contract. What does that mean? Well, he's up now. Now that they said Joey Loprofito, he gone to the Toronto Blue Jays as part of the trade for you, say, Kakuchi. They had room on the 40-man roster, so because you had Bloss-up and you had Loprofito up, so you moved two men off your 40-man roster. You moved a pitcher and you moved an outfielder. Now Will Wagner was the third person in the Kakuchi trade, but he was not on the 40-man roster, so by making that trade, you freed up a spot on your 40-man roster. He had 39, so you needed to fill the spot, and in order to do that, they selected Pedro Leon's contract and put him on the 40-man roster. So we're gonna see, finally, the Rock has come back. Finally, Pedro Leon's gonna get his shot at the major leagues. He's gonna be up with the big boys about time. It's a long time coming for Pedro Leon. When he first got to the Astros, hey, what up, Joseph Prosef? How are you, my friend? We're gonna get to it. I'm about to get to this trade here in just a second. It's the burning question everybody wants to know about. But the move, this actually, the trade freed up the spot, so getting Pedro Leon up, here's the good news is we're finally gonna see what he has in his arsenal, so to speak, right? So a couple of notes for you that I have that are, well, it was from an article, but. He was, let's see, where did it go, where was the slash line? It was 24th among all Astros prospects, it's not good. That was according to MLB pipeline, baseball America had him 29th in the Astros farm system. So not great 24th or 29th struck out a lot, which is not great also. If you're striking out a lot in the minors in AAA, you're in trouble at the major league level because the ball gets a lot more bendy. The ball gets a lot faster when you're in AAA, and he was in the Pacific Coast League. So this is one thing I know I was doing the show last week at ESPN radio with Joel and Joel is a big Pedro Leon fan. I took it. That's kind of what I gathered. I mean, we didn't talk off air or anything there. I'm just saying that because I listened to him talk about Pedro Leon on air. And the one thing you kind of have to be concerned about power wise is playing in the Pacific Coast League, it would be like playing in Coors Field all the time. Pedro Leon's power numbers could be and won't really are a tad bit inflated because the Pacific Coast League is played at elevations. And so your power numbers are going to be your prospects power numbers tend to be inflated a bit. So take it with a grain of salt, right? He's fast, it says, plus speed, 86 deals and 121 attempts in Sugar Land. She's 26, no, he's not 30. Somebody said how old is he 30? He's 26. He is slash line. So his slash, it says he reached triple A for the end of 2021 and 1567 total triple A appearances 57 home runs, 249 average, 357 on base and a 445 slugging, which is decent slash line includes a marked market step up in production this season with a 297 average, 377 on base and a 519 slugging 19 home runs and 424 played appearances in 2024. Those numbers are great again, though you have to take into account it is triple A and it is the Pacific Coast League, but a 519 slugging is ridiculous. Basically what that means is the dudes hitting doubles every time he gets on base. That's crazy. That's crazy. So and a 377 on base percentage is really, really good. So and we'll get into like what's a good, what's a good on base? Remember, I told you we're going to talk some statistics. We'll get into that. What should a base percentage be? We'll get into a little bit of that here in just a second, but Pedro Leon coming up. I'll say this. I don't know that it's any, he's any better, but I don't think he's any worse than Joey Loperfito. And I'll make another point here. Let me pull up Joey Loperfito's baseball reference page and also Pedro Leon. Uh oh, too many spaces, too many spaces. There we go, um, yeah, so, you know, the big thing about, uh, Joey Loperfito coming up when he did was that, um, he was leading all of minor league baseball in home runs. And that was a thing that everyone, uh, look at the power. Look at the power. Look at the power. He's got crazy power, but once again, Pacific Coast League tends to change that. Uh, he had 13 home runs in 39 games, uh, 162 ABs in 2024. His, he was slugging 568, which is fantastical, right? Pedro Leon, uh, for example, um, he's slugging 519. He's got 19 home runs and 424 plate appearances. So kind of on par with it. What I suspect will happen is you might see something similar with Pedro Leon in that the power numbers might dip a little bit as he comes up to the majors. Now it also some guys see a dip and never get it back and it's just because they benefited from playing in the PCL, but some guys just struggle with Major League pitching at first. And then once they make the adjustment, their power numbers rebound. So that might be the case with Pedro Leon. I suspect though, with low profito, he was never really a power guy. He had in 2023, he had 25 home runs, 19 of those came at double a corpus, um, but looking back at his numbers in college, he was never a power guy. So it was kind of like came out of nowhere type thing. Um, you know, I don't know what Pedro Leon was before he got to the Astros. Um, he had 17 home runs at Sugar Land in 2022. He had, uh, 21 in 2023 and he's got 19 this year. So the power numbers have been there for the last couple of years. We'll just see how it translates to the big leagues and we'll see if his other numbers, um, go up or down. So there you go. All right. Uh, let's talk about this trade. Let's get to it. Hey, what up? Dr. Dre at two, nine. You good to see you brother? So let's break down the trade, shall we? Let's do it. Um, let me get there. I'm going to be using a bunch of stuff. So let me just get these, um, let me just get all these names up because you're going to be able to get them. Uh, shit. Word should go. Oh, there we go. I'm going to need that. Shake. Bloss. Uh, uh, oh, uh, oh, what the hell? What the hell? All right. Uh, a little Perfito going to need his and they should have Will Wagner on baseball reference. Hmm, there we go. Will Wagner. Yep. Okay. Okay. And then we want to say kukuchi, uh oh, what the hell is that? Well, it's a good thing I don't have to spell kukuchi all the time. I would definitely fail. I would definitely, definitely fail, but not be good, um, oh, there's a trade, another trade tracker. Look at that. There've been any other updates. I don't believe so. No. Okay. Cool. Uh, I'm just going to grab it from this other one. It's easier. Plus I'm going to use this anyways. Um, there we go. Cool. Grab that. All right. So let's talk about the trade. If you didn't hear, maybe you're living under a rock, whatever, Astros did finally get an arm, a much needed arm for their rotation, um, question is for everybody involved. Did the Astros pay too much? And if you didn't hear, uh, the Astros went out and made a trade with the Toronto Blue Jays. They went out and traded, uh, for, uh, you say kukuchi, a middle-tiered, um, starting pitcher who at one point in his career was an all-star. He's got a plus fast ball. He's got four pitches. When his stuff is good, it's great. But when it's bad, it's awful and that's probably the best way that you can describe kukuchi. Now, Tony just said in the chat, imagine if he gets hurt. That is one of the reasons that they went and got him. He has been very durable. He has 22 starts this year, um, which is tied for the most starts in baseball. Um, so he's durable and he has been durable throughout his career, um, games started throughout his career, 22 this year, 32 last year, 20 in 2022, 29 in 2021 and 32 in 2019. So he's, he's a durable guy, which is one thing they needed, you know, their, their mo was an innings eater. Now I will, let's just start with, let me give you my opinion on the trade. Number one, did the Astros pay too much for, you say, kukuchi? Yes. They did. Did they overpay? Yes. Did they have to? Yes. Were they desperate? Yes. Was there a ton of options? No. Did they have a lot of bargaining chips? No. This isn't the case of the Astros in 2017 with a loaded farm system and all of the options in the world. This is the case where the Astros have a very finite amount of resources. And so they're not dealing from a position of strength. So they basically have to go and find a team willing to negotiate with them. And they have to outbid another team to get an arm to just come in and fill a void. So let's, let's, let's back. Okay. A lot of Astros fans are on the ledge. I'm looking in the chat and Dre's like they overpaid. They mortgage the future. They did this. They did that. I get it. But let's, let's just take a step back for a second and let's say this. The Astros have a real and legitimate shot to go back to the World Series this year. They have a very, I mean, the American League is very winnable. It's very winnable. The Astros have a very legitimate shot of, if they get verlator back, which they will, I've said all along, I think he'll be back in under four weeks. And yesterday I read to you that he threw what 50 plus pitches in a bullpen and be thrown off the mound today at minute made. So great sign. I suspect he'll, I think he'll be back within three weeks. But you're, you're, you're not dealing from a position of strength, right? You're not, this wasn't a case of, hey, we've got tons of prospects to throw at getting a guy, right? And the, the, for all of the folks that are mad at the trade and this team not made a move and missed the playoffs. I suspect that a lot of those folks would have been even matter. So I'm not going to be mad at a team that's going for. I'm not going to be mad at a team that's trying to get back to another World Series. I'm not going to be mad at a team that's attempting to continue to bring another World Championship while this window, whether you want to believe in a window or not, while this window of greatness still exists when this organization. And oh, by the way, the Astros aren't in the greatest position to be out chasing the best players on the market. That's the problem because they've been so good for so long and all of the great players that were in their farm system are now major leaguers and obviously some of them are gone. But they can't go out and compete with the Baltimore's of the world and go after the best players in the free agent market or I mean, excuse me, in the trade market because they don't have the pieces to be, you know, in a bidding war with the Baltimore's of the world or the, you know, whoever else. So what the Astros have to do is find mid level or mid tier guys that maybe other teams go, yeah, we'll send somebody, but we're not sending our best players. And now the Astros have to send some of their better players to outbid other teams who would send some of their mid to upper mid players so that they can win that bidding war to get a player that would help them. Does that make sense? Because you can't, you can't sit there and bid, you know, against another team who has way more assets than than you for mid guys because you're going to lose out on them also. You're not going to get the crochets of the world because you don't have the farm system to do it. So you're already out of the top tier guys. So now we're in the mid tier guys and you're at a disadvantage because you don't have the assets to compete with those other teams. So if you're going to bid for mid level trade deadline arms, you're going to have to overpay for these mid level arms in order to outbid in order to win the arm. So I hope that makes sense. And you might say, yeah, they overpaid. This is a product of a dynasty. This is the product of having all of the great players in your farm system coming up to the majors and going to seven consecutive AL championships. You have no farm system because they're all up here winning. So when it comes time to need an asset because you're just riddled with injuries, you can only compete at the mid tier level and you're going to have to overpay in order to compete. So I hope that makes sense. I hope that makes sense. You have to overpay and then other teams look at that and go, well, we're not going to overpay for Kakuchi if we've got, if we're supposed to outbid Bloss, Loper Fido and Wagner, if you're expecting us to give you a better package than that, we're going to go up to the top tier and pay for an arm with that package. We're not going to spend it on Kakuchi for sure. So that's where the Astros are at. We're having to outbid in order to get some help. Dre, you've missed the memo. No more kuchi jokes. 240 was the cut off for these stupid ass kuchi jokes. No more lame ass kuchi jokes. 240. That was it. I know you missed it. No more. God, they're too easy. No more kuchi jokes. I need to put another thing above this that says no more stupid ass kuchi jokes. No Olympic spoilers and no more dumb ass kuchi jokes. And Dre, I'm only saying that because Clarence started it. You're better than Clarence. Be better than Clarence. No jokes are better than Clarence. No. CZ, you're so fun. I thought CZ you were trying to make the last kuchi joke and I was about to tell you no. No exceptions to this rule. Absolutely not. Sorry, I was late. I was waiting for the last kuchi joke to be told. CZ is so god damn funny, I swear to god. Oh my god. Oh, that's it. Clarence timed out. I told you, any more stupid at Clarence, you were here for the warning. Now you're getting timed out. Now you've got to get timed out, Clarence. Now you've got to get, oh, I almost hit the band though. I don't want to ban him. I love Clarence. But now he's got to get you made a dumb ass kuchi joke and now you've got to get timed out. Where'd it go? Where's my? I can't. I'm old now. I can't see. Everybody stop chatting, you're moving it. Oh shit, stop it. Nightbot. Oh god damn it. There we go, timed out. Okay. Get out of here. Clarence, you started all this mayhem. So does that make sense though, Chad? I mean, I hope that was one of the first points I wanted to make for everybody is that they're already bargaining and negotiating at a disadvantage because they don't have the assets. So they're having to overpay in the middle tier in order to beat teams that have the assets in order to push them up, hey, if I'm going to spend this much, I'm going to go up and spend it. So I hope that makes sense. So that's why you might look at this and go, well damn, they overpaid or boy, they sent a whole plethora of, they sent a whole plethora of prospects for a rental in Yusek Akushi. Well, they kind of don't have a choice at this point. How much matter would you be if they just said, well, we are not going to do shit. We're not going to send Jake Bloss and Joey Loperfito and Will Wagner to try to go win another pennant. We're not going to do it. I'd be pissed. I'll tell you that much. If the choice was, send those three for Kukuchi because it gives you the best opportunity to hang in and compete with the Mariners to win the division to make a run at another AL championship or to hang on to these three who, I mean, Loperfito, by the way, let's not, let's not get carried away. The dude is a platoon outfielder whose upside is occasional starter. And that's not me saying that. That's the people that scouted the dude saying that. That's the statistical nerds saying that. Now Jake Bloss might be a different story. He needs a lot more seasoning. He needs it. So you may have given away a decent middle of the rotation arm long term. Will Wagner, everybody was saying, uh, yeah, the dude has shown some promise. But damn, how come he hasn't moved yet? He's old as shit to be still that high up in the minors. He should have been further along too. So I mean, this is, it's not like you just traded away, you know, an Alex Bregman and a Carlos Correa and, and, and a Dallas Kykel for, you know, you say kukuchi, you, you, you may have traded away, I don't know, you may have traded away, I don't know, you may have traded away a solid three, a solid number three starter, which, okay, what, what they look to have that now, but he's not that now. So at the end of the day, we really don't know if they overpaid long term, right? We don't know that on paper, it may appear as such on paper. And I know Dre said, look, he, he was poised to maybe take over at third base will Wagner. You can also just go out on the free agent market and get a third basement. I mean, you, there's, there's, you know, you're going to free up some money is, if, if you don't bring back Bregman back, if there's, there's tons of opportunities to, to go out and, you know, you're not just relying on your farm system. So you can fill this void, especially a team that's as far along and as, as advanced as the Astros are in their, you know, winning, you don't necessarily have to rely strictly on the farm system to, to fill a void. Just as long as you don't go out and do another Jose Abreu. You just got to hit on, on the signing. You can't, you can't go out and whoever you replace Bregman with, if you don't bring him back, if he's not back, you just got to make sure it's not a another Jose Abreu debacle at third. I mean, you're still going to have to go find a first basement. So you still got that work to do. But the interesting thing was, I mean, even with Loper Fido, he was an outfielder, but he was also a first baseman that they never used there. So it shows you what they thought about the kid. It was as bad as first base was, they never even tried him there. What's up with that? I don't know. It's weird. I don't know, Stephen, like I said, didn't Dana Brown draft applause last year? Yeah, probably, probably and fast-tracked him because they had to, but that also tells you something. If Dana Brown is a savant when it comes to being a talent evaluator, it lets you know one thing to me. It tells me one thing for certain. He understands the value of a pendant now versus potential later because that's what we're talking about. We're talking about a pendant race now versus potential later. It's a bird in a hand, two in the bush. Like I'm in the heat of a pendant chase. I don't give a shit about, bloss is never going to be an ace, okay? You didn't just trade away the next Garrett Cole. You didn't just trade away the next Justin Verlander. Oh, by the way, you didn't even just trade away the next Hunter Brown necessarily. Most people that evaluate all the nerds that evaluate his pitch charts and the break on his ball and his fast, but they look at all this nerdy shit, they're like, yeah, his ceiling is solid three, and this is all prediction. I mean, nobody knows. I mean, sure, could he, there's like a 1%, 5% chance maybe, you know what I'm saying? But the likelihood of it is very slim. So that's, I mean, you didn't just trade away your next ace. Clarence, Clarence, you don't, oh, okay. That's hilarious. Clarence doesn't know that I can't time him out. Clarence doesn't know I can't time him out on YouTube too. He jumped on YouTube, made a coochy joke, and now he's timed out over there as well. And Clarence, since you want to be like that, since you tried to game the system, guess what? Your timeout over here on Twitch, it starts over. Yeah. So I'm going to undo the timeout. Let's see, undo, oh, I can't, no, I should just give you another timeout when you get back. How about that? How about that? How about you get timed out again when you come back? Oh, raggly ass. Yeah, Jopro said, what happened to the guys traded for Colin Greenkey? Oh, right. Nobody cares. That's the thing, man. If you look at the amount of arms and stuff that hit or the amount of guys that hit in a trade, it's, yeah, I mean, yes, there's, you know, there are the Tia, Tia Oscar Hernandez of the world where you're like, Oh, shit. But I'm not exactly concerned about low-perfido and will Wagner for sure. Jake Bloss has a ton of potential. But again, Jose Altuve is getting older. Breggman may not be here for much longer. Hell, Kyle Tucker may not be here for much longer. You have no idea what the future holds at first base. Your center field is a mess right now. You know, you're okay at catcher. You're fine at short. Your rotation is good, but you're about to lose for a Lander. So you really don't know as fromber your ace, as Hunter Brown, your ace. What's going to happen with McCollers long term? What's your, you know, haters, your closer, but what's the, I mean, like there's some question marks about this team over the next two years. So go for it. But it's not like you can go for it and go give me every best player on the trade market right now because you don't have the assets, which again, is why I go back to. They had to wedge themselves in the middle tier and overpay to get the help they needed and the help that they needed according to them, the help that they needed was an innings eater that they could rely on to be healthy and go out there and pitch every fifth day. And you say kukuchi checks every one of those boxes. Now, I'm a little scared because he gets susceptible to the home run, especially on righties and those Crawford boxes are enticing. So get ready. Get ready. In fact, I saw something that was written. I don't want to take credit for this. But somebody wrote in regards to you say kukuchi and comparisons. This is what they said as first and starts the season were phenomenal two 64 ERA 26% strike out rate, a miniscule 5.5% walk rate. Like I said, when he's good, he's great. When he's bad, he's terrible. That's what I said. He's been steadily improving in Toronto in this year to look like his breakout. He started a league leading 22 games this season. He got a 475 ERA entering play on Monday. He's got a 10.1 strikeout per nine innings, which ranks top 10 in the American league. You know, the Astros love their, their strikeouts. We're going to get into fit and all that batting average balls and play in just a second here. But this is what it says. Yo, Steve. Thank you for re-subscribing, buddy. I'm breaking down the Astros trade, so I'm heavy off in at homey. His pitches are more timing disruptive than pure bat missers. So pay attention to this. And it says, and that just doesn't work as well when you leave it middle, middle. For the Astros, that combination probably feels familiar. A Homer prone pitcher who looks dominant when the ball stays in the yard. Sounds like Hunter Brown or a late career Justin Verlander. Now they're not saying that you say Kakuchi has the same stuff or is as effective as Hunter Brown or Justin Verlander. But what you can expect is when he's on, he's damn near-unheadable. That's the, that's that 10.1 strikeouts per nine innings because he can get a lot of swings and misses because he's got four pitches. And his, his, his fastball, they've said is one of the best fastballs in baseball. That's what they said. Oh, here we go. The, everyone that misses the show is making kuchi references and I, Stevo, there's a moratorium on kuchi reference. I'm going to have to make a, a graphic. I'm going to have to make a graphic. I'm not allowing these easy kuchi references on this show. Everyone, you're not the first. You're not the first. You're not going to be the last, Stevo. You did it. Dray showed up and did it. Everybody's done it. I'm, I'm putting a, I'm, it's not you, buddy. I promise you that everybody's doing it, but I'm like, no more easy. Here we go. No more easy. How the hell did you spell his name? Let me see. Kuchi jokes. There we go. Boom. Look at that. Oh, I didn't really want that to be like that. Oh, well, I can just fix that here. Whew, there we go, put this over here. I want to have a whole damn, well, we have a whole damn thing. Um, yeah, Tony said be mature like me. Yeah, right. This chat needs to grow. Shut up, Tony. Uh oh. What the hell was that? So, so he's going to give up home runs, so get ready because you're going to get some whiplash from watching Kakuchi Pit. It's just going to happen. Okay. It's just going to happen, but he's also going to have those outings where you're like, holy shit, this guy could be great, but then he's going to have some of your life. Holy shit. We traded for this idiot. I'm just telling you, there's going to be a ton of moments of frustration. What I'm hoping, what I'm hoping is, no, it's not at all, Chris. That's not how that works at all. Chris said, isn't saying no more easy Kakuchi jokes, sort of a Kakuchi joke? No. How would that be a Kakuchi joke? No, I'm saying I don't do any more this. We have standards on this show. We have standards and everyone will be held to a high standard on this show. I expect greatness for all of us. All of us are capable of greatness. If I let you guys off easy, you'll continue to make the easy jokes, drags down the show. The chat can be great just like me. So no, it's not an easy, it's not. Oh, well, Wallace just got timed out. There he goes with this stupid ass kuchi joke. Good night, Wallace. Enjoy your 10 minutes because you're saying we need something hard for the kuchi, bah. The zero tolerance policy people I said at two 28, you had until 240 to get all of the goddamn kuchi jokes out of your system. And then after that, it's time out zero tolerance. You've been warned. You've been. Thank you, CC. I didn't even have to do it, CC got it. You've been warned. It's right there. You've been warned. Well, it's like, what the fuck? I'm not going, I'm not, I'm not doing it. Um, yes, even total Dallas can be great course, especially total Dallas, especially, Steve was a barrier. Are you okay? I mean, I just had an aneurysm, but other than that, I'm good. I'm okay. Jeff's and everyone's taken else. Yeah. All right. Let's go back to this trade. Time to have some serious sports talk moments. And you guys just refuse to let me have these. I don't know what it is. I don't know if you just hate them. You don't want them. You don't appreciate them. I don't know. Um, Eric said this show has a whole bunch of kids that don't know when to stop the jokes. They get lame after a while. So let's get into a little bit. So I kind of gave you my idea or thoughts on why the Astros had to overpay, um, had to quote unquote overpay for, uh, you say kakuchi to get a another arm for this stretch run. Because if they would have just stood pat, if they would have just sat back and watched the Mariners make all these moves for down the stretch, Astros fans would have lost their mind. Astros fans would have gone crazy. I know I would have. So they did something so, but now let's, before we look at what they gave up, before we look at what they gave up, let's look at what they got on in a little bit different light. Let's take a look at using kakuchi's numbers. Um, and let's see exactly, oh, is it bad? How bad is it? What? Who is he? What is he? Um, because there's a couple of numbers I want to go over with you. So this is, uh, use it kakuchi's, uh, baseball reference page. I'm a zoom in a little bit. So this is his numbers this year. He's got a point two pitching war, not great. He's four and nine. He's got a 475 ERA. He's a started in 22 games. He's got a 2.8 career pitching war. Oh my God, uh, Steve, oh, say my wife had a brain in your eyes, dude, I am so sorry, bro. God, that sucks. Uh, Randy, I'm going to get to that too. I have an answer for you for that and they did, it did. This move actually pushed Jim Crane and the Astros into the second threshold luxury tax. Remind me when I'm done breaking down his stats to bring that up again. Before I get into what they gave up statistically, okay? And I will get into that, um, but yeah, he's got a four and nine record. But Dre, um, that 475 ERA too, that can be a little deceiving. ERA isn't necessary indicative of what the guy is as a pitcher because what you really, and I, I have recently learned about this as a statistic because when I was, um, in fact, it was with him with, when this trade went down, I was like, man, what's up with this dude? What are we looking at? Why is this a thing? Um, I learned about what is fielding independent pitching. Let's talk about it. It's called FIP. He was an all star a couple of years ago, Steve Oh, fielding independent pitching. It is a measure of what a player's ERA would look like over a given period of time. If the pitcher were to have experienced league average results on balls in play and league average timing. What that means is it is, uh, here's a different way to put it. It's a measurement of a pitcher's performance that strips out the role of defense. Number one, luck number two and sequencing. So that makes it a more stable indicator of how a pitcher actually performed over a given period of time, um, versus runs allowed. So why would you use it? It says, ultimately we want to use stats that allow us to isolate the performance of the player when we're attempting to analyze, um, them versus ERA. Here's the thing. So when you look at a pitcher, right, you have to take into account things like, well, um, if it's a hard hit ball, that is booted where you give up a run or it's not, it's put in play, but maybe the defender is slow. Maybe the defender doesn't cover ground. So, um, what some people may think should have been an out is not an out or maybe they don't turn to, which leads to a run, but because maybe our two, our two, our two, for example, doesn't have the greatest arm in the world. So maybe they're supposed to turn two, but they don't. Maybe it was a bad decision instead of turning to you through home or there's so much that takes place once the pitcher lets go of the ball. Once he releases the pitch, it's out of his control. All the pitcher can control is throw in the pitch. So that's really a difference between ERA and FIP is FIP is fielding independent pitching and it is the, it's basically like ERA that is independent of what a fielder would do on any given pitch, if that makes sense. So it has everything to do with what the pitcher can control. So that number is usually different. That's a good point, Steven, unless it's from or fielding the ball. The number is usually different than ERA and it's usually a better indicator of what the pitcher is capable of because it actually tells you, well, maybe, and remember was it, it was last, no, it was two years ago, Philly had one of the absolute worst defenses in baseball and not even just from an errors standpoint, arms in the outfield were atrocious. They couldn't throw runners out, decision making, hitting cut off men and re on all of that effects run scored, it affects, you know, games, wins and losses. And so all of that can have a distinct effect on a pitcher's ERA, if that's all you look at. So what this does is you may have a pitcher that goes to Philly and you know, he may be, it may be an anomaly where like his ERA might be, he's got a three ERA, a three ERA, he gets traded to Philly all of a sudden he's got a four and a half ERA and you're like, this guy sucks since he got here. What you're not realizing is that the defense is so bad behind him is that's what's inflating the ERA. So that's what FIP does is you would look at his fielding independent pitching results and you would go, oh, well, his FIP before Philly and at Philly is pretty much the same. It might have been like a 2.95 before Philly and now it's a 2.97 in Philly. Even though his ERA went from three to 4.25 or whatever, 4.7, whatever I gave. So that's the difference is you take out any, any chance for a fielder to screw shit up or to even be involved and it gives you a better idea of what the pitcher is. It's kind of like true in hitting parlance, they call it three true outcomes. When a hitter goes to the plate, a hitter can be responsible for three basic true outcomes. Hitter can be responsible for a strikeout, a walk, or a home run. That's the only three things a hitter can actually control. After that, if you put the ball in play, the defense has a lot to say with your results on the base paths, but if you hit a home run, nobody can control that except the hitter. You strike out, that's all hitter control and the same thing for a walk, but you hit a ground ball, you might find a hole in it's kind of the same thing. So this is kind of like that for pitchers. And they even go so far, this is kind of like the de facto best stat to judge a pitcher by and on fan graphs, it says they even use fielding independent pitching to factor in war, which is wins above replacement, which is kind of like the overall value of a pitcher when they're factoring in war, instead of using ERA, they'll use FIP to come up with war because it's a better metric to figure out. So it says, ultimately, we want to use stats that allow us to isolate the performance of the player. We're attempting to analyze ERA or runs allowed per nine does a terrific job telling us how many runs were scored, but they do not necessarily tell us how well the pitcher performed because the number of runs a pitcher allowed is also dependent on the defense. It's dependent on luck. And the order in which events happened called sequencing. So FIP isolates the performance by the pitcher. So what this also does is it gives you what's a good fit, right? What's a good fit? What's a bad fit? What's an average fit? So the average FIP in baseball, if you have a pitcher who's fielding independent pitching is 4.2, he's average. If a pitcher has a 3.2 FIP, now think of it like ERA because that's kind of how it's judged, right? So a 4.2 ERA in today's terms is decent, you know, but a 4.2 FIP is dead ass league average. I even have it in my notes there. There's all of the FIPs. So fielding independent pitching, there's the ratings average is 4.2, excellent is 3.2 And awful is 5. Joe Rose, every time he says FIP, I think a Joel's impersonation is she in a shot. Listen, listen, FIP, FIP, listen, FIP. Stephen Weather guy said not to be a stickler, but shouldn't it be pitching independent of fielding? I don't know. Take it up with the saber metrics nerds, bro. I'm just going with what they told me, bro. So now that you know those three numbers, right? Now that you know what's an average FIP, an average FIP is 4.2. A excellent FIP is 3.2. An awful FIP is 5. Now that we know that, we can go and look at, you say Kakuchi's numbers in a little bit different light. That's a bit on the screen for most of the show clearance. Thanks for paying attention, everybody. Caleb Ferguson, yeah, that's been on screen for damn near all the show, it's right there. It's pretty much been a, we talked about it, he had a 5.13 ERA and a 150 whip and 41 strikeouts and I was actually even going to pull up his numbers and see. Yeah, he traded with the, Astros traded with the Yankees for minor league here and some pool money. Anyways, back to the actual topic at hand. So this is, you say Kakuchi's standard pitching numbers and lo and behold, here's this FIP. Well, look at that. His first year in the majors in Toronto, he had a 5.71. Well, we know that 5.0 is trash. It's awful. So there you go. We know that a 4.2 is average and 3.2 is excellent. So his next year in baseball, well, 2020 was that COVID years, that don't really count. 2021, he had a 4.6. That was the year he was an all-star, 4.6 is somewhere between below average and poor. Um, 2022, he had a 5.62. Uh oh, yeah, I should put that back. Uh oh, there we go, there we go, um, come back, 2022, he had a 5.62 FIP, which is terrible. Last year, he had a 4.12. Now remember, oh, now he's getting a little above average. But folks, look on the right. What is his fielding independent pitching stat this year? Despite that 4.75 ERA, he has a 3.65 fielding independent pitching. That is somewhere between above average and great. He's hovering somewhere in there between above average and great. And you might be like, well, is it that important? Yeah, it kind of is because if you go back and look at what this team has done with project pitchers on bad teams, right? Charlie Morton, when Garrett Cole went from the Pirates to the Astros, so many other names that you can think of that were good or okay. And then they come here and all of a sudden everybody's like, wow, they got so much better. Well they got better because of a couple of reasons. They got better because one, the Astros have a kind of different pitching philosophy, which by the way, you say Kukuchi actually really fits into. But two, yeah, Brinstrom would probably be the third, but also Brinstrom's philosophy is heavy off into this organization anyways. But two, Astros are a good defensive team. They're just a good baseball team. They're not giving away runs and they're not really giving away games. They were early, but they're not now. And so yeah, you could probably jump to a conclusion and say, huh, maybe there was a reason why Kukuchi's numbers are bad. And maybe that reason is because Toronto sucked. Now is it did Toronto suck because Kukuchi was bad? What does this say, Claire said I'm timed out again and twitch without a Kukuchi joke. Oh, it's because I said I was going to time you out again because you tried to game the system. So I guess they took me serious. But I won't tell you how to get on YouTube players. I was like, I'm going to time you out when you come back. And we could actually go look at the rest of the Bluejay staff and just see what is their fit. And I mean, we can get nerdy as fuck if y'all wanted to. But what I just, I mean, also did was do what I asked. But my, my, my point is this when you look at some of the numbers on the surface, you look at it and go, oh, yeah, that sucks. But then when you start to look at some of these other statistical numbers when in the logic behind them, which is, well, if you take away some of these nerdy stuff that, okay, yeah, if you're relying on defense and all that, it makes it worse. CC is a mod on YouTube, I forgot. Then it makes it a little bit different. Yes, we can actually look at where the, the Bluejay's are ranked on defense. Um, actually let me see something here, let's go, um, MLB team defense rankings, fan graph might have it, but it would be, it's just going to be like errors. It's not going to be. I would have to get like into what is like some, uh, fielding stats for teams. Here we go. Cause I don't know all the fielding stats, bro. That's not, I don't get into that at all. Um, what is this? Defense. Fielding team stats. Well, um, so I won't tell you that I know what the heck this is, but I am looking at a chart here, right? This is on YouTube. Oh, there's goes fight the power. Um, so I'm over here and it's advanced stats on fan graphs, which by the way, if you nerd out on numbers like this, fan graphs is a fantastic website to go do it on, but they've got like, this is all by the way, uh, major league leaders, it's fielding, it's team stats, uh, regular season from March till now. Um, oh no, we just want 2024 to 2024, there we go. So Toronto on this list is fourth, but I don't know what that number means. 18. I don't know if that's a good or bad. You know what I mean? I have no idea. Well, it's got to be good because the white socks are dead ass last at minus 32. But I don't know. Yeah. Um, that's a good point. Uh, like what is frombers fit? Yeah. Let's, uh, let's go look and what we can also do, all right, let's go Houston. We can pull up on a brown and, uh, um, so this is going to give you a good idea too of like, um, because, you know, under brown has his ERA down to four, right? And his fit is 3.94. So again, we know he was pitching his ass off and a 3.94 fit is, uh, between average and above average, from her this year has a 3.6 fielding independent pitching, which is between above average and great last year, he had a 3.5, which is great. The year before that he had a 3.06, which is above excellent. Uh, before that shit, 2020 had a 2.85, which is just, that's when he was 11th in Cy Young voting, but the year that he had a 3.06, but that was also the COVID year. So you really can't do, you know, take that into account. I don't think it's not enough because the one thing about fielding independent pitching is you can't base it off of a few starts or a few innings. You really do need a large sample size. You need a half a season, you need a season, you can't just be like three starts. What's his fit? Um, unfortunately, and I'll tell you that if you go look at the details on fan graph, it'll tell you you need a good chunk of information. So but getting a, getting a full season like 2021 or 2019 gives you a good example, but you can see his fromber got better. So did that fielding independent pitching. So a four was good in 2021, but a 3.06 is fifth in Cy Young. And there was a reason why, because that number was that good. And that was the year that Verlander, um, won it, right? We could actually go look at that too. We can look at Verlander's that year and I bet it was just absolutely ridiculous. This year, it's not going to be good because he's, he's been out. Um, yeah, this year is a 4.98 and his ERA is 3.95, I'll tell you something there. Ah, but the year that Verlander won the Cy Young, his fit was 2.49. If excellent is 3.20, that's insane. Um, yeah, so, I mean, I don't, I'm not prepared to make that statement Steven because, um, yeah, I just, I don't know. It says, so being a ground ball pitcher plays heavily into fit. Ah, it's a very small sample size because we also could look up, uh, when we look at Kakuchi, we could go to, um, here is his pitching ratios. So, um, and this other one is a really good stat that you want to look at along with, um, along with fielding independent pitching, another stat that they'll use a lot is batting average on balls in play. It's a measure of how effectively the defense turned balls into outs. Um, but they'll use that in conjunction with it. Hey, Donna, thank you for the 40-bit, sweetie, the best Cisco, thank you for the 100-bits. And Steve, oh, thank you for re-subscribing for 23 months, my friend. Um, let's see, where is the, let's see, ground, uh, where's the ground ball to fly ball, the ratio. Let's see. Should be on here. Uh, uh, uh, uh, there's a, I think you've got to go to advanced. Let me see, total analysis, thinking about the 41-bits, my friend. Uh-oh, let me pull this out of here real quick, uh, Kakuchi, advanced stats. Let me see if I can find it on the page first before I... Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ratio, pitch summary. Ah, here it is, I think. Oh, that saves. Uhh, base running cumulative. Don't want that. Just pitching, that's batting against, pitching ratios, batted balls. Oh, hard hit percent. Oh, there we go. Ground ball percent. So, uh, Kakuchi's ground ball percent is 39.7. Yeah. So, 39.7 percent, uh, ground ball percent. Compare that to, say, Fromber, whoo, let's see, what is he, what is his? What would you guess Fromber's ground ball percent would be? I wouldn't even know. I wouldn't even venture to guess. I wouldn't even know. Um, you had to guess, what would you think it would be? What would Fromber's ground ball percentage be? Ha? Jump round, think it would be the 303 bits and the 303 bits. Jump round said, in case I forgot to mention it, I missed some of you guys. I was going to time out total dollars, yeah, it's gone. Uh, Sisi said, for Claire Bear, bye. What happened? What happened? You leave us, Sisi? You leave me? Damn it. Oh, I love you. Uh, Alex have 55 percent. Stephen, the other guy said 69, and I like, uh, actually it's not that far off, Stephen. Um, oh shit, I lost his page. Let me put this back here. Chrome resize Fromber's ground ball percent 59.8. Oh, Sisi said, no, he said he had been timed out three times, and I said, no four. That's funny. Yeah, so almost 60% of the time Fromber is inducing a ground ball. Uh, Kakuchi, almost 40% of the time. So, so 30% fly ball, 40% ground ball, Fromber, 60% ground ball, 15% fly ball. Wow. Well, well, fly ball, ground ball to fly ball ratio of 1.54, Kakuchi's is 0.68. So yeah, again, I don't know that that necessarily translates. That's not, that's not really even that close. Not really even that close. Uh, and just to give you an idea, the guy that everyone's like, I can't believe, I can't believe they gave up, uh, Jake Bloss, that sucks. That sucks. Well, he had a 7.61 FIPS so far. You had a 7.61 FIPS, and that's not great, but it's only three starts. So it's not enough, it's not enough to really judge, right? I get that. So let's just take a gander at it in the minors in C because that, now that's a bit different. What was it through the minors and, uh, college? Maybe we can look at that a little bit different. So it'll have, if you go on, um, baseball reference, if you hover over the ERA, a lot of times it'll squeeze, they'll squeeze the FIPS in there, sometimes, let's see, close. Oh, they're not going to do it on this. Dirty bitches. Yeah, they're not going to do it on here. Okay, well, yeah, usually, uh, on this, if you hover over ERA, they'll give you the FIPS, but they're not doing it here. So, um, that would be interesting to see what it was, but we're not getting it. I can't imagine it would be great, but who knows, opera. So Seattle's out of the game. Did they do another trade? Let me pull up the, uh, here, let me hit refresh. Oh, Shole is. Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishish to say that dude's name. What the hell is that? From the Marlins for Will Schomburg. Oh damn. 1.62 ERA, 1.32 whip. Whip is a pretty decent stat. 12 strikeouts, 15 appearances. Let's go check this dude. Let's go see what they got here. He 0.6 war 1 and 0. Okay. And he's got a pretty decent amount. It looks like he's got a pretty decent amount with service time. Let's see. Okay. Let's get rid of that. Those are the Mariners just picked up so they grabbed an arm. Yeah. Okay. So he's pitched in 15 games this year. Pitched in 46 last year. I wonder if he's injured or was injured. Okay. Another trade that went down. Mm. That's acquired Paul Blackburn from the A's, 4k Morris. Royals acquired Paul DeYoung from the White Sox. It's a pretty good get for them. Rangers acquired Andrew Chafin from the Tigers. So they picked up an arm. The Royals acquired Lucas Ursig from the A's. The Angels acquired Mike Bauman from the Giants for cash. And there you go. That's catches you up since the Astros acquired Caleb Ferguson from the Yankees. So there you go. You're all caught up. So let's see. When you look at some of these basic stats, I mean, you can look at the area if you want, but on a pitcher, look at whip. It's a pretty good indication of nothing else. You want to stay at 1.2 is average. 1.1 is good. And below 1.1 is great. Above 1.2 is bad. So I give you an idea. So like the Astros guy. Terrible. So yeah, the guy that the Mariners got, it's about the same kind of move the Astros made. Steve was that was Caleb ever good or decent? Good question. Let's pull that name up. Caleb Ferguson. Let's go take a look. See. Let's see what his numbers look like. There you go. Caleb Ferguson. 2018 was his first major league season. He was with the Dodgers for 18 to 20 from 2018 to 2023. Looks like he missed 2021 with an injury. Yeah, I can't really see that, huh? It's like super. Doing my best, but it's hard to see on seven and two his first year and only started three games, pitched in 29, 46, 21, 37, 68, he's pitched in 42 games this year. Okay, so pitching 42 games for the Yankees this year had a 513 ERA. Last year he had a 343 ERA, but now we know what we're looking for, right? He had a whip of 1.5 last year. Yeah, 1.4 strikeouts per nine, which I also like to look at. 11. It's pretty good. 10 last year. His fit. Goddamn 4.2. By the way, like I said, if you're on baseball reference, you can just hover over the ERA and it'll show you. 4.27 fit this year, but last year had a 3.34, but that was with LA, not with the Yankees who I'm pretty sure have not great defense. So who knows? Maybe that'll improve a little bit, but if again, if you look at his ERA, his ERA, you look at it and go, God damn 5.13 is atrocious, but then you look at his pitching stats independent of fielding and you go, oh, okay. So what did we say was average again, 4.2 and he's got a 4.27. So he's hovering between just a below average. Just below average. Okay. The whip is not good. The whip, the whip tells you he's got control issues. Walks plus hits tells you he's got control issues. So. Yeah. And then when you see ERA plus, anytime you see like something plus, that tells you that's usually a stat where it is. Yeah. Yeah. What up, Mr. Mina? And I've just spent the last, oh, I don't know, hour and a half proving otherwise. Mina said, apparently the Astros made a trash ass trade. Oh, hang up and listen. Well, you might want to go back and watch the show because I feel like, I don't know, chat. Have I, have I proved otherwise statistically? I kind of feel like I might have proven otherwise statistically. Maybe not. Because I mean, we can look at, we looked at some of the other guys. We looked at Bloss. We don't really have the rest of his numbers. I can't find his fit on here. I wonder if Fangraph will have it. Let's see. Fangraphs. Bloss. Donna said, yep, I'm good. Okay. Do you feel better about the trade now, Donna? Do you maybe look at it a little bit differently than you did before? Because that was kind of what I was going for at least was just to give people a little bit different look at it. Okay, I found Jake Bloss's stats on Fangraph. Here's what it looks like. Here's his fib and his ex-fip. So ex-fip is just expected fib by the way. It's like, what are, what are based on, you know, what are, what are you expecting it to be going forward? But in the, in the minors, his fib was really good. 2.36. A AAA. That's good. What? Say it ain't so, Titan Hugo. Is you fucking with me? You're going to give me a boner, sir. You're going to give me a boner, sir. You're going to give me a boner. Isn't Jared well statistically sprinkling? I'll do it. I don't think I won't. Uh, but real quick, we can also look at, uh, Joey La Profito and his numbers. And I'll give you, I won't go into detail like I did for the pitching, but I'm going to give you two numbers to look at with the averages and I won't break them down. I'll just tell you what to look for and what average is for that number. And then we can judge based on that. Okay. And we're not going to be looking at batting average. We're not going to be looking at slugging. We're not going to be even looking at OPS. We don't give a shit about that. All right. We don't care about that. What we're looking at for hitters is we're looking at weighted on base average. And we're looking at weighted runs created plus. So you're looking for Woba W OBA and WRC plus. Okay. That's what you're looking for. So with, um, let's see, back. An average weighted on base average is 320. Anybody with a average of, with a weighted on base average of 320 is average. Okay. And these are like advanced stats. These are advanced, like more saber, saber metric style stats. Let's see. So we can look at Joey Loperfido. You can go to advanced stats. Yeah. I'm somebody find me that. Let's see. Astros. Yondi Diaz. I do. I mean, all I saw was the Astros are in the mix. Yeah. John Hamis says Astros big target now is Yondi Diaz. Still seems to be a gap in talks though. Mariners pirate Yankees also potential fit. Yondi Diaz is here at Trump and on the field with the raised teammates taking ground balls at first base. That was an hour ago, according to Mark Topkin and Francis Rome, something final race for Yondi Diaz and teams involved, according to sources, Yankees Mariners Astros are in pirates are out. That was three hours ago. So now it's down to Yankees Mariners Astros. Tell you what, man, Mariners are fucking going for it. But that's a, that's a big get for the Astros eight hours ago, I see on yard barker that the Astros are engaged in trade talks. But that's a, that's a big get if they get it. If it happens. If Cisco's on Twitter. Maybe Drake could try a bit chime in on Barry on back about the trade. I love you, Cisco. You the best. Um, yeah. No, people doves. They're not trading singles and straight up. So let me see here, Joey Loperfito. I wish that there was a way. We pull this over here. It's just easier for me to look at it on my big screen. Some of a bitch. I can't find the. Okay, I can't even find it now. Hmm. Oh, maybe he's under saber metric batting. Huh? Huh? I see OPS plus. There's war award dewar. I'll give shit about another that. Win probability. Padded balls, batting ratios, batting. There's bad bit. That's okay. Here we go. Let me see if I can find this on. Nope. Oh, I don't know where the fuck it is. So I guess I'm not going to be able to show you. So oh, well, guess we're not going to look at Joey Loperfito stats. So we move on. Um, yeah, I was going to tell you, um, thank you for the reminder, Jeff Bell, but we're going to talk a little bit about the money. So the salary implications of the trade for Kakuchi, uh, the Astros had a competitive balance tax estimate of $256 million before the deal. So it says, unless there are cash considerations involved, which I don't think there is, they'll take on another 3.3 million that is remaining on the $10 million salary. So that puts them beyond the $257 million threshold that is the second tier of the luxury tax. So in that threshold, they're taxed at 32% on spending up to $277 million. So that means they're taking on another 1 million in taxes on top of the money that they owe Kakuchi. So this move actually, whatever they owe him, uh, which is the remainder of the 10 million, which is about a third of the money, which is the 3.3 million. They actually owe him, or they actually owe now 4.3 million. So it costs them a million just to do the trade, essentially. It actually costs them a million to do the trade. So I'll say this. Think about it in terms of, did you really think an organization and a guy who didn't really want to go into the second threshold of the luxury tax? Do you think that Jim Crane would just be willing to do that and overpay if they really didn't do their due diligence on the deal, especially after the Jose at Bray U debacle? I would hope, and I might be wrong. I might be wrong. I very well could be wrong on this Astro fan, but I would hope that as the trade deadline was approaching, they knew, all right, if we take on these guys, this is what it's going to cost us. And this is what it's going to, no matter who we take on, unless we're sending money, we're going to hit the luxury tax threshold. So we're going to be, you know, spending more money. So player X is going to cost this, player Y is going to cost that. So they knew if they bring in Yusek Akuchi, for example, and trade for him that, hey, it's this much money plus an extra million. And they have those numbers. I guarantee you on a spreadsheet, on a whiteboard, something. So I would be stunned if they're just out here. Yeah, well overpay and go over the threshold and spend a million. If they really hadn't already done their due diligence and know what they were getting into, know what kind of picture he was, know what they were expecting, the pitching coaches, the scouts. I mean, there had to, I would hope to God there were several checks and balances along the way. Where it was like, all right, you know, yes, we think we can fix this control issues. Yes, we love the rise of his fastball. They're big on high fastballs. Astros love fastballs up in the zone from their pitchers. So, you know, it's just like, it's just like this team when they scout, they love patient hitters. They love guys that can, that they will not just swing freely. If you go and look, Astros are one of the best teams in baseball about not striking out. They might be the best team in baseball. And it's because that's how they scout. That's what they do. As far as team strikeouts, I think the Astros might strike out less than anybody in baseball. Let me see. Batting. strikeouts. The Mariners strike out more than anybody. Astros are third. The Orioles strike out as a team 723 times. They're diligence. You do due diligence. The Astros are third. 752 strikeouts. Padres 726 and the Royals 723. But they're top three. And they're always in the upper echelon of least strikeouts in baseball. That's what they they covet. And it's been that way with this team for the entirety of this dynasty. That's what they kind of modeled themselves after. So, um, and it's not even the fact that, oh, this team gets on base at a better clip than any other team. They are 10th and on base percent. They just don't strike out. They put the ball in play. You know what I mean? They, they, they, they put the ball in play. They get on base. They make contact. And then good shit happens. They just don't strike out. Son of a Clarence. I got you when you come back. I got you when you come back. You raggedy bitch. You raggedy bitch. Appreciate you hanging out, brother. Amos said what I learned today, baseball loves acronyms. So does the government, baseball and the government, an advanced stat nerd should be pushed down the steps no later than their freshman year of college? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man. Just because you don't get into it doesn't mean some other people don't. You know, the CC. CC's taking notes. Don't come back. Don't be ready. I mean, come back. I love you. Come back. But be ready. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's team stats. I got you. I got you, Pam. Can I see team stats? Come on player. What you're talking about? Will is a Clarence niche. Um, Jared Taylor said, can you see team stats? Like what team strikes out versus hits? Yeah, right here. Here you go. Um, the team with the most hits. San Diego is first. Houston is second. 971 to 952 team with the most walks. The Yankees are first. Uh, the Astros are 27th. But again, that's why I said it's not necessarily that they're taking a lot of pitches. They just, they put the ball and play. They make contact. They have 287 walks. And if you look at, um, at bats, oh, let's see. They're 7th and ABs. But, um, yeah, they put the ball and play. Not a, not a ton of power. 11th and home runs. Um, but on base percentage wise, even with so few walks, they're still 10th in on base and eighth in slugging, which is how many bases. So slugging is essentially how many bases you get every time you get a hit. So, yeah. Um, yeah, damn. Look at the strikeouts. The Mariners, 1100 Colorado, 1000. Yeah, but yeah. So there you go. The opposite. There's the Astros, 752 strikeouts, third. Um, those so third and strikeouts, least amount of strikeouts and second and most hits, but down towards the bottom in walks. So, um, what was they going to look up? I was going to look something up. Oh, yeah. I was going to look up. Where does the luxury tax money go on baseball? MLB and the players have always essentially split luxury tax proceeds with half of the money going to clubs in some form and the other half to players retirement funds. There you go. So it don't go to charity. That's for damn sure. Well, I mean, I'm sure it does, because you know, the owners and the players probably go to the strip club and give it to charity and Porsche, cinnamon, all of them. Now this was, yeah, this was written in, okay, 2024. Oh, this is the athletic has learned major league baseball and the players association of agreed to alter the collective bargaining agreement so that Lee can use its portion of competitive balance tax proceeds to give teams losing TV money up to 15 million each with an estimated limit of 75 million in those payments league wide. Okay. Saving the TV revenue stuff. Okay, I see you baseball trying to save the day. How were the dancing boobs yesterday? Do what? The dancing boobs. The dancing boobs. What? What? Oh, I don't know. I just, I didn't even stay. It was a raid and end. I'll stay for this shit. Yeah, I don't stay for that shit. Don't I just raid and leave. I'm like, whatever, I got shit to do usually by the time I raid like Norgon's home right at five. So, I mean, if it's one of my buddies, if it's um, bash or something like that, I'll raid and I'll hang out for a second and say hi. Um, but yay. I've seen titties. I'd rather go start dinner because I got, when I usually at five o'clock, the cats are sitting at the door screaming. So I gotta get out there and feed them hungry sons of bitches. That's, that's part of it. All right. Uh, I am not seeing shit about Yondi D as Titan Hugo. You lie and bastard. Oh, yeah. We still got Tulsa stories and the Tesla story. Um, let me just, sports don't talk back. Skiggity big. Uh, all right. Let me tell you, I wrote in a Tesla you guys. By the way, if you, you know, if you want to get more nerdy about the stats like weighted on base average, um, weighted runs created plus for hitters and all that shit, I'm here for it, but hit me up on discord and we can discuss further. But I do want to say, man, I rode in a Tesla from Houston to Tulsa. This is my first time ever being in a Tesla. Never been in one of my life. And my buddy's son, Tran, who was my feature for me when we, we were at the, uh, Tulsa comedy club, Tulsa Looney band comedy club this weekend, this past weekend. And so he was like, do you want me to drive? And I was like, yeah, he's like, well, I have a Tesla. So we'll have to stop twice to charge. I was like, Oh, yeah, it's fine. How long does that take? He's like 30 minutes per charge. I was like, well, that's fine. At least one of those we can eat lunch. He's like, yeah. So like, okay, no, no big deal. It doesn't add that much time at the end of the day. Um, but I got to say it was cool. It was different. And I'm on the fence if I would get one. If you've never ridden a Tesla, there is not shit on the dashboard. All it is is a big ass iPad. There's no buttons. There's no knobs. There ain't no, there's, there's, there's shit. There's nothing. There's no light. I couldn't even figure out how to get the damn vent on me. I'll sweat my ass off. And I couldn't get, I couldn't get the vent on me and you, it's all done on the screen. Like, you have to push the thing and then you have to move it and then it moves the vent inside. And I was like, well, this is kind of stupid. I don't like this part. I need just, I just want to push the damn vent on it. Like, I don't give me a couple of knobs. You know what I mean? I don't need it. I don't need all of it. Oh, you the best, Joe. I'm glad you appreciated that, my friend. Joe, Joe, thank you for the 303 bits. He said, best baseball dork dive in a long time. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir, for listening to it. People do have some analog controls. Just a few, just a few. I don't need a lot. And so that a good point. He goes, yeah, I don't mind it. But some of these things should be not on a screen. Like, if I want to turn my AC on or off, I shouldn't have to go three menus deep into a touch screen to do it while I'm driving. That's a good point. It's quiet. Somebody said that that they're so quiet. Donna did super quiet. Now, I will say this. If you have a Tesla or if a friend has a Tesla, you might want to tell us the fucking rules of a Tesla before we ride in your goddamn Tesla. Because apparently there's rules to ride in a Tesla that I didn't know before I rode in the fucking Tesla. Biggest rule? How you open the door? I didn't know there was a certain fuck away you had to open the door. I didn't know that. I'm just plowing that bitch open. Just dip. There's a manual door open. There's a manual, but there's also a push button. So what happens is when you open the door, the window drops and then the door opens. So when you're getting in, you push the little handle in and then you pull it open. And when you push the handle in, the window lowers just slightly and then you open the door. And I guess that creates like the seal, I guess. There's a little lip in the rubber and that creates a seal. And so when you open the window, open the door, the window drops just below that seal and then you open it and then you close it and it goes back up. Well, when you're in the car, there's a way to open the door manually in case the battery dies or there's no electricity and you need to manually get out of the God forsaken car. You just lift up on this little handle area and it manually, no electricity necessary, just click, click opens the door. But what that does is it forces the window to just through the rubber. You just plowing through that bit. Just get out of my way, rubber screw you, rubber lip. I'm out of here. Well, I didn't know that. So the first half of the trip, I'm just manual handle plowing through this bitch every time I'm in and out of that hole. And I see an alert that's like, hey, warning, manual handle has been used, potential damage to windows seal. And I drove, so he, at one point, he was getting sleepy, he goes, Hey, you drive for a while, I'm getting sleepy. I was like, okay. And so I read that, I go, what does that mean? He goes, what are you doing? I was like, what do you mean? What am I doing? He goes, how do you get out of the car? I said, I used the God damn handle. Here's what handle do you use? I said, I used the fucking handle down here. Here's, you're not supposed to use that handle. I was like, well, how the fuck do I know that? He goes, that's the manual release. I was like, well, is it labeled? Do not use manual release only for emergencies? No, it's a goddamn black handle that's right there, where a normal door handle wouldn't be. He goes, well, do you not see the button up top? I was like, what, that button? He goes, yeah, I was like, that doesn't look like a door open button. He goes, what do you think the rectangle with the thing flipped out is? I was like, I don't know, that looks like a statue on Easter Island. How the fuck was I supposed to know that's a door open button? He's just so stupid. I was like, why don't fucking know? You don't tell me this? I just looked out. I see a goddamn nut. Door handles aren't labeled in any other car in America. There's no way that I use this handle. There's nothing that says like, oh, you got to use this one. Don't use that one. Exit only. And if it's such a big goddamn deal, how about when you know one of your dumbass friends is getting in the car, you go, hey, stupid ass Barry, make sure when you get out, your big dumbass doesn't use the manual handle release, you push the fucking button. And it'll do boop boop and do the window bullshit. But no, you just assume that I know how to use this nerdy ass fucking electric toaster. Well, I don't. Well, then, it's quiet as shit. You don't even know Jopro's in a hieroglyphic instructions. Yeah, I got to read the Tesla guide for passengers. Yeah. Yeah, who do I got to go through a fucking safety video first? All right, we're going to sit down and watch this video before we write in my car. What the fuck we are? We're going to get in this goddamn car. We're going to go. It's getting big. Raccoons are trying to break into the cyber trucks because they look like big trash cans. So then, first of all, they're quiet as shit. You don't even know they're running. They're also holy fuck fast. They're so fast. Oh my God. And I didn't realize how fast they are. And then he says, because he wants me to drive because he's sleepy. So once again, of course, does he tell me how to use the car? No. And he, and by the way, he's very sudden about everything. He's driving, and I'm over here working while we're driving. And he just pulls off the road. You got to drive. What the fuck, man? I thought we were wreck. I thought we were going to crash. Like, it was just so sudden. It wasn't like a hey, I'm going to pull over to the side because I'm getting sleepy and maybe you could take off. It was just like, you got to drive. I was just like, what the fuck is happening right now? So sudden, so sudden. So he just yanks the car off the side of the road. Get out. Goes around. You got to drive. It's like, what the fuck, man? So no instructions on how to drive this thing. None. He gets in the car. And it's my job to go. I don't even know how to put it in drive. You know how in your car, in a normal last car, you got a blinker on one side on the left, and then on the right, it's usually like the windshield wipers. And it's usually like up to turn them on and down for like, you know, intermittent or vice versa down to turn them on up for intermittent. Yeah, not in a fucking Tesla. That's drive. Down is reverse. One more is neutral. All the way down is drive. What? Guess what park is? You push the button on the same handle to put it in park. How stupid is that? How dumb? Why wouldn't you push up like you pushed that? Park is pushed all the way up. There's stupid ass ideas there. So I'm like sitting there on the side of the road as he's falling asleep. And I'm like, hey, how do I put this motherfucker in drive? He goes, when you just pull down? Like, you don't talk condescending to me. I don't know how to fucking do this. So I pull it all the way down. And I take off and I know that when we were driving, he's got the autopilot shit. So I know it works because he was like, oh, look, I can just put it on autopilot. And then he would just put his hands in his lap and let the car drive. And that was it. He never had to touch the wheel. And it would just drive and every once in a while, you just got to kind of let it know you're there. You can move the knob on the wheel. You can hold it a little bit, but it'll auto. Which, by the way, it's so fucking stupid. If you're going to let it do autopilot, why do I have to touch it? Now it's just semi autopilot. It's not an autopilot. It's a semi because if I got it, it's not auto. It's stupid. So I mean, you still are having to pay attention. So I found out. Because he falls asleep. Now you'll know me and I warned son. I said, listen, I'll drive your little stupid ass Tesla. But I'm going to tell you right now, I'm not a good driver. Okay. I'm fast. I drive very fast. I stop at the last second. I stop very suddenly. I get very close both when I'm driving and when I stop, rarely do I use my blinker. I will change lanes at the last second. I will cut people off. I will be on my phone. I will not be paying attention. But I will get us there. We will get there quickly because I will drive fast. He was like, whatever, I'm sleepy. I was like, okay, 99 bitch. So it goes to sleep and we take off. Now, the first thing you need to know about driving a Tesla and an electric car is it's not like driving a gas car. See, he said, same berry, same girl. We need to do the Iditarod. Or is that the dogs? Is that like the Alaskan? What's the one where you in the 24 hours, whatever? I don't know. I think the Iditarod is a slant. But we should still do that one too, CZ. You should see me and CZ doing a sled race. I couldn't. Me and CZ would find a tree and we would open a bottle of whiskey and we would sit under that tree and drink that whiskey and just shoe the dogs off. And the sled would go away and we would stay there and get drunk until someone found us. How did the Iditarod go? We didn't Rod. CZ said I can't steer dogs on my phone. Do I end? Yeah, can you drive a sled with your knee? That's what I need to know because that's what I told him. I drive with my knee. I just need you to know this. I drive with my knee. He's like, why do you drive with your knee? So I can type, bitch because I need both hands to type. So here's the thing about electric vehicles, at least with the Tesla. Once you give it gas, it gets. They scoot. Okay, they get it. There's none of this lag like with gas where you're like, it's fucking instant. It's electricity. It's just zero hundred. So that part I loved, it's awesome. You're like getting it. Now, you know, once you're on top speed, you're whatever, but off the line, whoo, shit. Zero to 60 and a Tesla is fucking awesome. But 60 to zero is the same goddamn way. When you're driving in a Tesla and you take your foot off the gas, holy shit. It's like slamming on your brakes because you're just like, no more electricity. The fuck was that? Well, again, oh dumbass son doesn't tell me this. So I'm driving. I'm just going on along and you know, normally, normally, I'm used to just letting off the gas and then I'm going to coast my way down and I'll ease through and zoop, zoop, zoop. And then I'll, you know, give it here and I'll, you know, I don't need the brake. I'm just going to zoom, zoom, boom, and I'm going to feather the gas and do a fuck. I get up by something and I let it off and it's just like, fuck was that? So that took some getting used to for sure. Well, then, well, then I finally get used to the pedal and understanding like, okay, you got to kind of know that you don't really need the brake in a Tesla. You really don't. So I get used to the pedal after several long ass miles and then I'm like, oh, I got to get some work done. There's a long waste of time. I've finally figured out how to put it on autopilot. It's the drive button, but it's one more down. So cruise control is boop, but then autopilot is boop, boop. So it's like reverse neutral drive cruise autopilot. Is it dumb as shit, ever? But I, and again, he doesn't tell me any of this. His ass is asleep. So I'm over here just willy-nilly pushing shit, trying shit while we're driving. Lord knows I could have just shut the son of a bitch off doing an 85. I'd have had no idea. I'm just trying shit. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah, what up, whoa. So I'm like, do, do, do, do. And I finally, I finally get it on autopilot. And I'm like, oh, this is the titties right here. And it's like, do, do, do, and it locks in the lanes. And it's like, boop, and it's got the two blue lines. So it lets me know it's in between. And I was like, fuck, yes. I've been waiting on this my whole life. This car's about to drive us to Tulsa, and I ain't got to do it. He's asleep. I mean, I get my phone. I'm like, let's go, baby. Daddy's about to get all kind of worked on. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, it's like aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye a driving? Here's what the fuck did you do? It's like, what do you mean when I do? Because you put it on fucking autopilot didn't you? I was like, well, yeah, you put it on autopilot. Here's your stupid fuck. It's got a sensor. And then make sure you're fucking looking because you were on your phone, huh? And I was like, I mean, I might have looked at it for a moment. He goes, a moment my ass. He goes, it has a sensor. And so if you look away long enough, it knows. And then it'll shut that shit off. And I was like, well, there's a little goddamn sensitive because I wasn't looking away that long. I was totally fucking sending emails and shit. It was so bad that the fucking Tesla put me in autopilot timeout. It goes, you can't use the autopilot for the rest of this trip. I was like, bitch. Hey, fuck you, Tesla. If that was my car, I'd be like, Hey, man, fuck you. This is my car. You don't tell me I can't use my car. The autopilot, you don't have to boss up me. I own you, bitch. I bought you. I bought these features. You don't get to tell me that I can't use you. I own you. But it was like, no more autopilot for you. Bad driver. And he looks and it shows you a big fucking red thing on the screen or yell is like autopilot disabled for remainder and trip. I was like, don't don't look at that. He was like, fucking stupid ass. You know, I didn't you didn't say that. You didn't tell me. He goes, well, maybe you should just look at the goddamn road, Barry. Well, maybe don't give me autopilot, son. Maybe, you know, what you drive. Stupid. Yeah, exactly, Donna. Tesla is a snitch. That's exactly what the moral of that story is snitching ass car. He's not paying attention. Fuck you. Stupid ass car rear snitching. And it stopped too. It just started just not like a grinding halt, but it started beeping and shit and slowed the fuck down and not like a slow it was like a sudden like we're doing 85 we're doing 50. What the fuck? Dumb, dumb. Steve was an ad tesla of the bingo card. Yeah, put it on the list. Put it on the list. You know, it's funny is a wall said I got in a Tesla and the door closed automatically it almost took my leg off. I was done with Tesla that day. Yeah. Was funny as the sun and I came up with a second shirt. Because I sell my new merch at my shows is shirts that say love each other. I don't think I have one. One right here. This is my new merch. I should probably put them on the website. So, so carrying over the theme from Barry on deck. Love each other. I was like, you know, I don't mind doing the the joke on a shirt every once in a while. But if I get tired of doing the joke, I don't want to be married to having to do that to sell merch. So I always explain at the end of the show about being on ESPN and then starting my own show after getting laid off from COVID and how I ended the show one day by saying be safe, be kind, love each other. And I like to be able to travel the country and spread that message. So this is my this is my merch now that I sell at shows. And this is what I sell. And it says love each other on it. Yeah, this is my new merch. And then I even put a little signature on there. Yeah, so it's got the it's got my little seed on it, which is pretty dope. So yeah, so that's the new merch. But and always ended by saying, you know, now, you know, come by one if you want and you can always tell some people are like, we'll fuck that. We'll fuck a little people. You can always tell, especially in the South where there's a bunch of assholes. You know, there's some there's some hate and ask people. But I tell people like, you can't be an asshole and buy this shirt. You know what I mean? Like, you just can't be a bitch or an asshole. You can't be a Karen or a Ken being like, I want to speak to a goddamn manager with a shirt that says love each other, especially with my name on it now. Um, but then we were talking about, because I'll be like, you know me, I'm like super bitchy when it comes to people. And he was like, Barry, you're fucking crazy, bro. You'll be all like, Hey, man, fuck you. Hey, fuck you. Let each other. I'm like, Oh, shut up, son. He was like, you need a shirt that says love each other with an asterisk on it. And then on the back list, all the exceptions, like love each other, except for people that drive in the left hand lane and go too slow and get in your fucking way or love each other, except for people that use speakerphone. I was like, yes. Yes. fucking done. So I think I'm actually going to make that. I think I'm going to have this shirt. It's going to be the real, you know, the love each other shirt, but I'm also going to make it again. And it's going to have an asterisk like right here. And then on the back is going to be a list. And it's going to say accept four. And then it's just going to have a fucking list of all the different kinds of people that get on my goddamn nerves. People that chew with their mouth open. Urcott, center point, 10 crews. Wallace and Clarence. No, Wallace is a good people, Clarence is too. Um, but yeah, shit like that. People that chew with their mouth open. People that use their speakerphone in public. People that drive in the left hand lane. People that stop with a red light on the right hand lane, but don't turn right. People all that. I'm just gonna have that fucking list. Robert. What's up, Pimp? So yeah, the message will still be loving each other on the front, but there will be some motherfucking exceptions. And we also talked about believe it or not, uh, Joe Osteen. Yes. He'll be on that list, Harris. Of course he will. Fuck, you know this man. The Cisco said I forgot why they made the list, but they made it at one point. Uh, yeah. Except for anyone that shits on the electric room. Um, let's see. Who was it? Oh, yeah, Donna said fuck them kids. It's funny Donna because I did have somebody tell me that I should make that shirt, but we started making a list of all the different merch I should make for commenting, uh, just instead of just having love each other shirts, we came up with a whole bunch of shit. We came up with, um, he said something about hurry up cause I'm gonna die soon. I was like, yeah, that would be a good shirt. Hurry up. I'm gonna die soon. And then we started doing some shit like, I forget what it was, but I was like, making fun of, uh, people that are like, live, laugh, love. Live, laugh, love. And then it was like, live, laugh, shut the fuck up. And then I was, we just, so that just became like a running joke where it was like, I don't know, somebody's doing something. I was like, Oh, live, laugh, die, bitch. And then it was so became like live, laugh, get the fuck out of the way. Live, laugh, hurry up motherfucker. He was like, bro, you're gonna come out with a whole live, laugh line, aren't you? I was like, maybe live, laugh, get off your fucking phone. Live, laugh, drive motherfucker. So that was a thought. Um, and then it was love each other with all the exceptions on the back. Uh, and then it was gonna be just terrible quotes. Like, uh, you miss 100% of the thoughts you don't think. And then, uh, I was gonna have a terrible quote. I was gonna quote Helen Keller, and it was just gonna be like, but it's just gonna be like a bunch of letters that didn't make any sense, which is fucking horrible. It was just literally just gonna be a bunch of random fucking letters. I'm not putting total Dallas on there, Steve. Oh, you said that twice. He's a nice person. Leave him alone. You know, I'm so mean to him. Just because he's stupid and roots for Dallas teams. Leave him alone. I love you. Told her Dallas. I don't know why I'll pick one. He said as I walk into Kroger's on speaker. Oh, big mistake. Big mistake. This is if you are beginning to pray for you. Terrence is sponsored by the mute rapper. 97 five twitchers. Yeah, uh, your personal list would be great if I could do that, CZ. Can we personalize it? Um, that would be good, but God, that would get expensive and time consuming. Live laugh. Drive motherfucker is a bumper sticker. I would like to pre-order 100 please. It really would be right. It's called flirting Barry. Joe Pro, you're right. I should make that fucking bumper sticker right, bro. Those are cheap to make too. Hold on. Live laugh. Drive motherfucker. Bumper stickers. Yeah, that's fucking good. Steven live laugh using my 500th vacation date. Well, I know it was going on the back of CC shirt. Steven just got added to the list. Love each other except for that stupid fucking weather guy. Oh, oh, Cisco. God damn, I'm not even reading that. All right, we got to go. Jesus Christ is getting. Hey, man. Enjoy the Olympics tonight. Um, man, what are you talking about? The Astros getting their ass walked in the ninth inning. God, what an ugly loss. Trade deadlines over with. There might be a few that trickle in here and there, but it is done, kids. Anything happened at the end? Let's see. Um, Oh, what a miss Mariners got J. T. After that, it was the twins got Trevor Richards from the Blue Jays. Oh, look, uh, Padres got Tanner Scott. Yeah. And Brian. Oh, Hugh. I don't know how to say his name from the Marlins. It's a good get. Pirates got Brian De La Cruz from the Marlins. It's fucking Marlins in their fire. So easy. Pirates got, uh, Isaiah Kiner Falafa and that's it. So Yandy Diaz doesn't move. It looks like Astros. That's it. They go out and get two pitchers at the deadline. There you go. CC. I saw it. I ignored him. Yeah. Flips a good show B at 4 55. Robert, buddy. Sorry. I missed you this past weekend. Was the show fun, Robert? Was it a good show? Do you have a good time? You and the Misses? You're better half. Not by much though. I love you, Kase. Blue Jays and Rays were sellers. Oh, yeah. And Marlins. Blue Jays, Rays and Marlins were big-time sellers. I was kind of surprised the Pirates were buyers like they were. You know what I mean? Love you, Steve. Oh, I'm so glad. I'm always worried when I'm not there, but I'm glad. I tried to book a great show. You know that, buddy. Try to give you guys a good show every other month. So you liked Sam? Sam's a great comedy. I knew Will and Andy were going to kill. They've been there this year. I always worry about new headlines. Yeah, Sam Demarris is fantastic. Much love to you, Steve. Much love to everybody. I'll see you guys tomorrow. There were two annoying fucks at the bar. Don't be so hard on yourself. You and the Misses are good people, man. Just kidding. Yeah, and you know if I'd have been there to take care of them. I'm surprised they did. That kind of makes me mad. Was it Podge? All right. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Enjoy the Olympics. Enjoy, um, Astros if you watch it. Until then, do me three favors. Be safe. Be kind. And most importantly, love each other. See you guys tomorrow. Bye. And he's making a YouTube video. [BLANK_AUDIO]
