Golan-Globus Theater
Bloodfight (Bolo Yeung!)
(upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat music) (crowd cheering) (crowd cheering) - I have to lose my plug then. Is it working? - Yeah, it's working. - Okay. - Is that how you're opening this episode? - No. - Welcome back. Just when you think Christmas in July is over, we pull you back in for one more episode. - Merry Commander coming through there. - Merry Commander? - Like Cobra Commander? You kind of got into a gargly voice there. - No, I'm sorry about that. That's a rough week. - It's been a while, I brought you some cake, just in case, you smashed-- - I love grabbing those cakes. - Well, I know how you feel about cake, man. - Griff, we have nothing to talk about. You know what I have to talk about? - There's lots to talk about. - You know what I have to talk about. - There's a new Joker movie that's coming out. - It's gonna be one of the greatest psychological movies ever. - We gotta talk about the Joker movie. I am very saddened that we live in a world where there's so many young men that relate to the Joaquin Phoenix Joker, to the Heath Ledger Joker, to all this like nihilism. I understand the appeal of nihilism and your life sucks because my life sucks too. But I say, if there's any Joker, you need to emulate Griff. It's the Caesar Romero Joker, that's my Joker. He enjoys life, he's laughing constantly, he's challenging Batman to a surf competition. That is a Joker you need to embrace young, in-cell men. - That's the one that happens. - Caesar Romero. - That's the one I got me, still got my cough. I like that 'cause, yeah, it is fucked up to be looking at a just like complete, massive a character and be like, that's my Joker right there. - Yeah, I relate to that. I'm saddened for people who relate to Joker. It's not a good place to be. - It's not the point of the movie. Like, no, you're supposed to go, I don't wanna be that guy. - I wanna do the things to not be that person. - You wanna be Bane. You don't wanna be Joker. Bane is all about punishing the rich fat cats. - Exactly. - Enjoying life. - Breaking a spine. - Having a handicap, but not letting it hold you back. Just wear your breathalyzer mask for eternity and getting on with your fucking life. - Growing up in a prison and still seeing the bright side of life going, I don't need to hurt my fellow man. I need to hurt the people in power who deserve it. - The people that actually do hurt people. - Vote Bane, 2024 people. - I'm writing it in. - I'm writing it in. I already wrote it in. I already got my mail in ballot. - Yes. - I made 2024. - I made my own custom ticket. So it's Kamala. God damn it already did it. - Kamala. - Kamala. - Kamala. - Harris. - It's the Indian name I believe Kamala. - What's up? - She's half Indian. It's an Indian name I believe. - Yes, she's like half Jamaican, half Indian. - Yes, she is. - That's intense. - She's a melting pot in herself. - All right, have you ever had a Jamaican pie? - No, I haven't had a lot of, I don't think you even had jerk, whatever. - Jerk and all that. - Jerk and all that. - I don't know how far taken of the Jamaican. - Yeah, far taken of the Jamaican. See, guys, if we planned out our opening, we'd never would have gotten through it. - We had absolutely taken in the Jamaican. - We had nothing when he pushed plays. - Yes. - And look at us. - Look at us fly. - Flying it from the heavens. Gold. - I do have to do it. - Wumpelstiltskin, making gold from that straw. - I do have to throw out a couple things. - Okay, that's good. - 'Cause the great sociologist, the greatest professor of all time in space, you know, a couple weeks ago. - I only subscribed to one sociologist, Matt Sos. - Yes, of course, it's that sociologist. - Okay, good. - Yeah. - Yeah. - A couple weeks ago, I came to this podcast and great, what was I, harm? I was harmed. - Stress? - Distressed, yes, there we go. And one of my issues was that I tried to get down to the DIA. There was some kind of bullshit happening, and I just wanted to see Les Amorai. Some kind of French film, that's all I knew about it. I was driving down there to see it, and Matt took up the sale. He was just like, he took up the signal. Like Batman in the '60s and said, "I gotta help Griff out." He set me a copy of Les Amorai. - That's very nice of you, Matt. Why don't you don't deserve friends like Matt Sos. - We really don't. - You don't deserve, you listening, you don't deserve Matt Sos. - I had a tear. - Well, you're gonna get him anyway. - Had a tear in my eye. - We're gonna get more of the old gang back on. - Yeah, we really don't. - We were listening, old gang. I talked to our buddy Stuart, recently with Stuart. We gotta get you back on. Miami Vice, maybe. - Right. - He's like, Murray, anything. - Anything? - And that's what I like to hear. - Chuck Norris. - No, you hate it. I hate it. - Yeah, I know. - I know. - We've really put him in. - Oh, I want to get our weapons master back on. It's coming, but we got so much good shit planned. Schlachtober is just around the corner. And last time. - Do you hate that summer's almost already over? - No, well, yes and not. I hate it because I'm making a lot of money right now. And that's where I make the majority of my money, but at the same time I, there's nothing else about summer. Like, I don't like heat. You know what I think we don't talk about that really fucking hate about summer? - Bugs. - Oh, I hate bugs so much. - Fucking hate bugs. I feel bad for anyone who lives in the southern region where it's 30, 165 days a year you get bugs. 'Cause at least they leave us in the winter time, but I hate them flying around your face. I hate them biting me. I hate them crawling on me. - Oh my God. - I fucking hate bugs. - I agree with that so hard. It's like, I want to go hang out in my hammock. We've actually had a couple days here that were really nice, but it got just like steamy enough where all the mosquitoes are out right now. - The worst of all bugs. - And so I was out there for like a second eatin' my popsicle. That's how you eat popsicles people. Jack Bannerler definitely eats his popsicles this way. You put on your short shorts, no shirt, you get outside with your bomb pop and you have fucking counts. - You seductively slurp and suck upon the-- - I hang out on this-- - Sickle of pop. - I hang out on this fence right here looking out towards the street. - So, you know-- - Get your Lolita shades, the heart shave you borrow from Joe Coleman. - That's right. I always just lick on the old lalala pop. That's right. That's how you eat a popsicle people. - That's what I've done. - But bugs, you're right. We have like two to three, maybe like two, 30, 40 days of the year in Michigan where it's just perfect. Where we're going out, you know, our fall and then like our-- - Well, it wasn't like that always, but when I was a child, we had four seasons. - But thanks to something called climate change, it's just either hot or it's cold. - Wow. - We get no warm days. - It's fucking chilly. - I just, if 70 degrees, partly cloudy, like so you're not just getting beaten with the sun, perfect. - I hate getting beaten with the sun. See, I like the, I, no, I don't like, I love the ocean, but you know the bad part about the ocean? - Sharks. - 1000% exposed to the sun. - Yeah. - I hate-- - That's why I don't like the beach. - Yeah, so I don't like-- - I don't like, it's weird how our wetness quotients kind of wicks, I don't like getting wet. I like moisture in general, like wetness. But you're the opposite. You like it dry to the taste, but you wanna get wet. I don't like being wet. - Yeah, I don't like dead sensation. - I don't know, there's probably like anti-lubricant out there, but that's what I use. - Yes, it's called sandpaper. - Sandpaper, yes, of course, sandpaper. My evening of intimacy, it's just-- - Get lava soap that has like the grid over there. - Oh yeah, it's just pretty soap. It's just a fucking lingerie made-- - I repeat, we had nothing planned for the opener and you're getting comedy gold. - Your wood is being fucking sand into perfection here. - You're doing something to your wood, that's up to you. - I hope you're not doing something to your wood at this point. - I've heard many people pleasure themselves to my, at least my voice. - I don't know about yours, but yeah. - Well, that's probably true. - You're welcome. - Griff, do you have anything else to say? Should we start getting into this movie? There's not a lot to talk. This is an enjoyable movie of colorful character. We were just talking last week about how the henches suck in movies today. We get great henches. We get throwaway henches that are amazing. - Yeah. - We get a guy gnawing on a chicken foot. That's his character development. - It was a chicken foot. - It was a chicken foot. - Oh, thank you. There's one thing I got to put out there. I want all points bulletin out there for everybody. I tasked Murray with this and he has failed me 1,000%. - That's what I do. - Jeep people. What is going on with Jeep people? What is going on with the dash flare? Apparently it's always ducks. I'm hearing from a reliable resource, it's always ducks. - It must be in Northville things, I've never seen that. - I'm seeing it everywhere I go. - Then again, I'm looking in the mirror looking at myself constantly, I don't know what's going on in the world. - I don't know how you don't get an accident. - I get lost in my own case in the rear view. - Murray has never driven, you drove me to get my car and maybe one else killed us three times 'cause they kept. - Murray. - Murray. - Well, I want you to-- - I get in my own car x-mog, I can't help it. - Ew. - How does that happen? - Well, I'm emitting it naturally. So 'cause I'm in the midst of it. How does it not happen? - But still, it's just like, that's your own supply. - You wouldn't notice it. You notice it? - I just tap open, I don't know, yeah. - Jesus Christ. - Yeah, I can. - Yeah. - Well, you've seen motorcyclists pass each other and do like a little hand signal, like wood up, motorcyclists. - I've never seen that either. - What the-- - What's going on? - You're paying attention to it. - Oh, what's going on out here? I mean, this is a weird place for Griff Lips. Here's a guy. Can we talk about this guy, the fucking Magga guy? - Oh, I just saw him. He was yelling out, he was driving his fucking parade float. He has a parade float, he draws it by a truck. It is, are they all, I don't remember what they look like. Do they look like Donald Trump? - Oh, I don't know if there's any facials that Donald Trump on. - But there's like four or five mannequins? - I don't remember mannequins. I even got a good look at it recently. - I'll remember, it's blasting M-A-G-A to the tune of Y-M-C-A. - M-A-C-A. - This guy just goes up and down the street. - You imagine how empty your life is. I can't imagine being gay for any politician, first of all, let alone Trump. - No, it's a very sad place to be. - Yeah. - Like, get ostracized by my family 'cause of my love for some fucking guy who would never, would even piss on me if I was on fire. - Yeah. - I'm like, I'll take a bullet for you. - Right. - I don't get that mentality. - I think I recently learned that he actually has disabled people in his family and he basically told them, yeah, you should be dead. We said, why not just let them die? - Oh, why not just let them die? - A little more, you know, tender. - A little more political about it, you know? He's got that political flair now. Why not just be not alive? He used on alive. He's so, he's woke. - He's working, he's learning. - I saw him. - He changed him. As an agent, they have changed him. - Yeah, that's gotta be it. - He's a kinder generaler. - He's kinder and generaler. But I was driving down the street and he's got a megaphone now that he's just talking into now. ♪ God is good, Trump loves you ♪ ♪ Trump is God ♪ That's what I heard. Not all of that might be accurate, but that is what I heard. I'm ready now. - What? - Oh, G people. - G people. - I saw the G people extend their hand out and wave to each other. The G people are getting into a weird territory. Keep an eye on them, everybody. That's all I want to say. - What do you mean, macophilia? Is that involved with it? - Murray. - I think it's fucking G. - I think it's macophilia. - I'm still reeling from the number, the massive number of white women that want to fuck dogs. Now you're telling me, I'm assuming this is white people too, fucking G. White people, what's wrong with you? Why are white people so fucking creepy? - We're so weird. And you know, when we brought up the macophilia thing, what was that, two or three years ago? - It's a lot of black dudes in a foot five dishes. - Yeah? - I think that's a 50/50 thing. - Yeah, okay. - I do want to say, when we brought up the macophilia years ago on the show, people just started setting us hot wheels. Stop it, we're not into it. You're not going to convince us. - What do you want us to do with it? - Is that where it starts with hot wheels? I don't want to know. - Will you ever end a hot wheels? I never cared. - There was one hot wheel that came out when I was like 11 and I wanted the track, but there was a computer in the hot wheel. And so I would tell you how many times it went around the track. - Wow, that's where I took. - I played with it once and then I was like, I don't like hot wheels. - Yeah, I guess it's weird being from the Motor City to say that I don't give a fuck about cars. In fact, I'm dreading in like two weeks from now, is that when the dream cruise happened? - Oh, the dream cruise is about to happen. Right in between us. - Shuts down the fucking road, the main road that I have to actually cross to get here. So you should be grateful. - We got busy weeks coming up too. - We do. - We're going to be slammed. - Yeah, but we're still going to come out. That's the thing about us. We still deliver, whether you want to hear it or not. - You're going to see Jeep people when you get, you know, you're going to see them. - I hope not, you're going to see them. - Blood fight, which by the way, is totally not a rip off of blood sport. Not that it has Bolo playing a character named Chongli in it. - Yep. - That's purely coincidental. - Purely. - Came out a year after blood sport, people. - The year after 1989. - Correct. - Could I add to Jack? 'Cause which came first? There's so many similarities. - Yeah. - But usually it's the round eyes. It's still the fucking engineers. - The guy, James. - Yeah, the Gualo, as they say in China. - Oh. - Could you just take place in Hong Kong? - Thank you. - Which I think, isn't that where the blood sport takes place? The comatai, didn't take place in Hong Kong? - Yeah, believe it did. - Didn't they make people say Matei in kickboxer? Do you remember that? - I was watching something, and people were fighting, and he was saying say Matei, and I was like, I think that's kickboxer. - And why? - I'm so sorry. We didn't prepare this. - We're not even, the people are shocked. They're thinking we're reading a script. It's like, it just flows. But blood flight, it's got both a great Bolo. I'm glad to see Bolo. I can't remember the last time we had him on this show. I think it was our Paul London shoot fighter. - Shoot fighter. - Shoot's our baby face, Bolo. - Yeah, he's learning how to shoot. - Back to being a villain. - We got basketball in this movie too though. - You do too. - Yeah, but I wanted, I told you guys the story at the end of last week's episode, how we ended up with this movie, and I woke up and I said, I need Bolo in my life. Or no, I was driving home. And I said, I need Bolo in my life. That was what it was. - Suck some in a jeep and said I need Bolo in my life. - I need Bolo. - 'Cause they had probably Bolo's hanging from there. - Yeah, it was a cow, it was a cow. That might be the new code. The ducks on the fucking jeeps might be the new code. - What color were the ducks? - Oh, they're always like me on. - Is that? - My sister claims that Old Gigi still do the bandana. I don't buy that, there's Grindr now. You don't need to do bandanas. Or maybe it's like a retro thing. - I did see at the RNC a lot of Republicans had bandanas hanging out their back pockets. - That tells you all you need to know. - Yeah, they crashed the Grindr servers, man. - That's what they say, when those conventions come into town, all the prostitute shit and all the Grindr shit. - It's just Antifa, Larry. Antifa shows up and fucks that up. - That's just Antifa. Just blame it all Antifa. Blood fight. - Antifa did it. - We get it nice, I will say there were some surprises. - I was surprised by this movie too. - So it's not a waste of time, it's on YouTube. - Yeah. - Watch this for free. - Right, 90 minute, well. - Everyone who bitches at us on YouTube, you can watch this one for free. - Jesus Christ. - When we put our review up and you bitch about it, guess what? Look at the one underneath us. - It's the real blood fight. The one had a read. - The one with 100,000 views on it. That's the real movie. - The one with six is ours. - Yeah. - Fucking Christ. - It's six views, you get 20 down votes. I don't know how that works out. - Why? - That's YouTube for it. - Algorithms. - Algorithms. - Algorithms. - Algorithms. - We get some fucking fantastic henches, not even important to the plot. - No. - But your eyes are just, you're either having an orgasm looking at these people. - Yeah. - They all look different. - They did a better job of this movie on a one thirty second the budget of beekeeper. They did more with the bee story in this movie than the bee movie did. - Yeah. - Which apparently you guys people. You guys people. - You guys who are people. - Who are these people? - One is to do more modern. People love negativity. That's the thing. - I've been telling you, we needed to sprinkle one in there every like four or fifth week. - Okay, well there is, I got, I told Griffith about it. You guys aren't going to hear about till September. I got an idea and there will be a recent movie in that month. Came out within the past five or six years. - Yeah. - Okay. It's going to be very interesting. We're into a first. It's like, what first can we do? We've reinvented the podcast. Yeah, I come up with another first. - Where the Frank's app is a podcast thing. - It's like when you think that you can. - We are the mothers of invention. - Exactly. - The mother fuckers of invention. - They're just like, you can't fucking change your scale right now in the middle of this song. That bam, we do it. And you know what, the lead guitar, we broke it. Now it's a lead zu's a phone. - Sick. - That's what we do. That's my voice. - Sue Manchu singing, you damn right, she's singing. - Oh my God. We, oh my God. We gotta get her in studio one day. - If we, she said we need to get at least 25 million lessons. There aren't bots, 'cause you already are there with the bots, 'cause the bots have been loving griffness in Jesus Christ. - Jesus Christ. - You got hammered, Stuart, tell me, Rossendale, town in England who loves us or it's just bots. - Since they use this word, I will use it. Are they just a bunch of cunts over there? That's a big. - Wankers. - A bunch of wankers. - Wankers? - Yeah. - I thought they just love the flicker out too. - They love seeing cunts too, wow. - They love seeing wankers as well. - All right, all right. - Yeah. - It's not really in the vocabulary around here. You don't just hear people throw the cunts word around. - We need people to say cunts. - We need to break it. - Right about that. Maybe that's another thing Trump will do for us. He'll bring cunts to the national-- - Okay, I will say it right now. - That his c'mola is a cunts. - His cunty c'mola. - His only chance of getting the presidency at this moment. I'm feeling confident in c'mola. - Trump's only chance. - Shaking in my boots. - Yeah. - I don't know. - Yeah. - I hope we didn't lose some right-wing listeners with all this political talk. We usually stay away from it. But I like democracy. I don't know. Call me crazy. - Call you crazy. - I'd rather four years of some mediocre person than a lifetime. - Yeah. - I'm just saying. Griff, let's get to this fucking movie. My fucking week is sucked. I need to end it on a good note. Let's do this. I'm throwing to you. 'Cause you gotta throw the trailer. - Everybody, we're coming in this movie. We're getting some blood sport-like action. We're getting heroes with names that might be confused with other people. So we're gonna try to, you know, give them some unique names to identify them. Hot gangs, sexy ladies. Sexy lady, I should say. - Negative, girlfriends. There's Adrian like characters. Adrian from the Rocky series. - There's two Adrian women in this movie. - Yeah. Well, you're not a champion 'til your woman doesn't believe in you. - Exactly. So, this is a movie for the men. The men with nagging women. - No, this is a movie for everyone. - It's a movie for everyone. - We have at least two women listeners. So, it's for you two ladies. - Okay. I'm doing the worst job of throwing to the trailer. - Well, this is why I do it. This is why we have the dynamic. You're the opener, I'm the closer. - You see, you've always told me off, Mike. If you're the bad guy, some days people will realize it. And I have just said, women, this is not the movie for you. You suck, walk. We need to start using cunt more in this. I have just completely. - I've been saying it for years. - I've just, I don't know what it is about. Deep voice, people think I'm a villain. No, I'm the hero. I love everybody. - The hero. - All right, everybody. Blood fight, we're getting our knuckles dipped in glass and we're coming out of this trailer, bloodied and ready. - Put on those sleeveless gloves. - Don't even do that. I'm throwing to the trailer. Don't fucking interrupt. I got nothing, trailer. - Is there a trailer to this? - Stop it! - You cut that out. - In the martial arts, there is only one word for the ultimate test. Kumate. The illegal fight. The secret fight. The blind fight. There are many ways to fight. Any style is allowed. There are many ways to qualify. Just possess the potential to win. There are many ways to survive. There are no rules. There is only one way to win. Be the last fighter standing. The blood fight will be held in the Orient. The island city of Hong Kong. As city as mysterious. As the force that draws the fighters together. Those who are chosen must possess the power. The discipline. The desire to win. The will to win. To endure. Each fighter goes to this arena for his own reason. (siren blaring) At this level of competition, it's no longer a sport. It's a blood fight. (siren blaring) From enter the dragon. And blood sport. The ultimate fighting machine. Bolo Young. And the fighters of the Kumate. (siren blaring) Blood fight. 1989, I remember that year. Well, Hong Kong. Is that the year you had the rat tail? No, I've never had a rat tail. You didn't tell us you had long hair at one point. No, I've never had long hair. I, for a brief moment, it might have been 89, I think it was 90 or 91. I did try to grow out a misfit style devil's lock. It was more reminiscent of Danzig on the cover of the Sam Hain Initiative album. It was like full ball, full bangs. I didn't have the skinny. You didn't, yeah. I came to my senses and I cut my hair. But no, I've always hated long hair. Where are you? I don't like the feeling of hair. I don't like the feeling of hair. See, I guess it's good 'cause I'm losing my hair. So, are you into like a bald woman then? No, that's different. It's all, like I said, Griff Life is all about double standards. Yeah. But no, I like hair in a woman. (laughing) Okay. I'm the head. I just like how you clear from that. I'm the head. Bush is good too. I like a little bush. (laughing) Aside from that. Hey, we've officially chased all the ladies off. No, maybe we brought some in. Oh, maybe we did. I think with you saying it, it might have brought a man. If I said that, I like women with bushes. I think that's Rob, what's his name? Gilbert Godfrey. Oh, well, Trim Bush, by the way. (laughing) I'm just saying. You want it, it's like Topiary. You want it, well, it, well, Trimmed. That's a fun word, Topiary, yeah. Well, this movie's fun, Griff. 'Cause we're in 1989, we're back in 1989. Young, 15 year old Tim Murray. Oh, you two? You were still shitting yourself in diapers. I was still, no, actually I learned how to use the bathroom at two. I mean, this is beautiful, 'cause we're getting credits. We're getting the street shots of Hong Kong. We're seeing very much like some of our other John Claude movies have done. You're seeing the fires come into Hong Kong and how they stick out in a crowd. You noticed that. This is reminiscent of "Inner the Dragons" beginning. I don't know if it was the beginning, but remember there's that scene in "Inner the Dragon" where Jim Kelly shows up and they're all in those boats. You're right, you're right. I feel like that's the start of a lot of these kind of kung kung kung. Well, 'cause yeah, every one of these movies is a rip off of "Inner the Dragon." Yeah. Featuring, Bolo. Bolo. Oh, so we're seeing like a sumo guy. Of course, he's got the kimono, rickshug. Rickshug. We see a giant Indian man with a turban. According to his pants, he was Raja. IMGB could not identify him. We see Asian Mr. Clean, the bald guy with a hoop earring. Yeah, he's supposed to be like an old-school pro wrestler. And they're coming in town for the great big world championship of free fighting. This is above ground. This isn't, this isn't televised. Yeah, but look at that audience too. And we see that audience. Did you notice what kind of client's out? I didn't see Frank Dux because he only shows up for the underground fight. That's right. Frank Dux is completely underground. Dux, I guess. 'Cause he's a libertarian fighter. He's like, I don't want the government getting, you know, getting any kind of tax money out of me. So he's always on his own. We get a nice opening display of power of Denmark. Yep. 'Cause this is another throwback to blood sport where we see the brick on the bottom getting shattered. We see multiple feats of strength. Is this Kai doing this? Our hero Kai. I didn't even notice because they have a blinding light above the fighters and they're shooting from underneath to get the shot of like the bricks breaking. There's ice blocks at one point. One guy's bobbing for charcoal and molten lava with his face. It blows up a hot water bottle with his lungs. There's just like-- Do you ever see that? Remember those crit, we can't have any Christians listening to this show. If you are a shame on you. Do you remember there was these Jesus-free, like weight lifter guys? I don't know what they were called. Oh shit. I actually saw them. They were, we had an assembly at my school. Yes, that show, that show Workaholics did a bit about that. I didn't know it was real. Yes, I saw it in person. When they would break like, they would bend the fucking bars. Oh rip a, rip a phone book in half. Blow up a hot water bottle with, you know, and think if I don't do it right, the all the air will go back to my lungs and my lungs will explode. Oh my God. It all filled up. Amazing. And they were breaking ice blocks. But they know how to explain the danger of the situation. 'Cause Jesus more protected. 'Cause Jesus more protected. It was total fucking propaganda. Yeah, Christian propaganda. Wow. One Christian girl in our class loved it. She was a fucking proprietor for his orgasm, watching this. Oh my God, she's only in the buff guys for that reason. They're all treating her like shit, getting her high on, you got like Elizabeth, poor Elizabeth and Lex Luger. Then wait a minute, Elizabeth. That's Elizabeth's story. Okay. Anyway. I'm talking about Macho Man's wife Elizabeth. Ooh yeah. So we're at the World Championship, free fighting, the 1980s. I, this is very confusing for me. Bob Lee will explain. It's, they go for some unique, well not really unique, but they go for some challenging storytelling for a movie where most people's English is second. They already reminisce, I think this inspired Tarantino. His way of, you know. His storytelling, we're in the future, we're in the present, now we're in the past, now we're caught up to the present again. That's what we're gonna do here. So we see a close up of our man Bolo, the pecs, a glistening with pecs jelly. This director knows what people want to see. So like I alluded to in the opening, if you could get through that mess. His character's name is Chong. You know IMDB's is Chang Lee, it is Chong Lee, which, gee, I wonder where that came from? Yes, it's the same Chong Lee from Bloodsport. Obviously he's in hiding, he's just been shamed by getting his ass kicked by Jean-Claude. - In the kombra. - Frank Dukes. - Yeah, that's right. - So now he changes his look up. - Right. - How do you do that? - I don't know. What draws the eye away from the face? A skull tattoo. - Forehead tattoo of a snake, a cobra. - Hey guys. - With a matching bicep cobra tattoo, the exact same. You got two for one deal. - This is his fucking logo. - He's got the snake gym down the street. That's the low one. - It is power branding, dude. - Yeah. - Now I've always said, if someone has a face tattoo, they're obviously mentally ill. Now I'm changing my tune. I think like a bulldog, well I still think everyone besides Bolo. But is it Bolo? Is he the guy who brought this to the world? - He must have been. - The forehead tattoo. - It's either him or Marilyn Manson. Wait, no Manson, Charles Manson, Charles Manson. - Oh yeah, he did have the swastikas first. Well, Brian could kick off YouTube now from me saying that. - Just saying. - But yeah, so it's a whole new chung lace reinvented himself. I'm a face tattoo guy. - Right. Guys, guess what we just did? We got through 10 minutes of this movie and like three. We're making great plays. All right, we're starting up the job matches. We're already in a tournament play 'cause this is back in 1987, remember? - Movie? - 1989, this is 1989. See, it gets confusing. This is the '89. - Oh, this is still '89. - Right. - Okay. - I'm gonna get a flashback to 1987. - Okay. - I'm coming off. - So we're still in '89. We're in the present day. We're watching some job matches. We got yellow pants, I know. Interesting name, but I will tell you. - Was there a character named Black Panther that was a black guy where-- - I did not know where they called him Black Panther. - I did not. - All he did was take hip tosses. That's all he did. - Oh, he was the guy Kieffaut? - Yeah. - In the like, the Judo. - I'm sorry. I'm assuming 'cause he was the only black character that he is Black Panther. - Yeah. - Don't know for sure. He did do the Wakanda fucking salute. - Yeah. Was that it? It was like you were turning butter. - I got my hands full with like a-- - You got your-- Isn't it just that? Isn't it hands tied? - Yeah, it's that. - Wait, how did that become the Black Panther? Anyways, yellow pants is getting slapped in the face by some guy with blue striped pants. This is all this movies giving us. We're not giving names here. Loses is cool, starts beating the shit, just tossing the guy around and yellow pants, finishes it with a straight kick to the guy's face. I don't remember, is yellow? No, he's not. Yellow pants is not Kai. Is that remember what Kai was wearing? - No, it is. - No, I'll get to it at the end. - Kai for the first few rounds is a pretty bad ass. He's wearing leather pants and a leather jacket with no shirt. I'm lying. - So why are we watching yellow pants at all? What is he-- - Just the purpose. - It's just because it's an action movie. It's been 10 minutes. We've seen people walk in the streets. Rick Shaw's, we've seen more Rick Shaw's than fighting. - Well, I think we're building up 'cause we gotta show off our colorful characters. We saw in the beginning. So we gotta see, yellow pants is pretty bad ass, but not as bad as it's sumo pants. So he's fighting the sumo guy and he gets fucking smothers. He literally smothers him with his dick. - Yeah, so you see-- - Well, he can't see his dick 'cause he's so fat, but we're just in a dick area. - Well, what's it called? The sumo and family, Rickishi and everything from wrestling. They all got this move, but Vince said, we can't do that. I'm an ass man after all. Flip it around. - Exactly, that's where that song comes from. All right, so we see that sumo is the better man here. - Right, smothers guy with his dick. - Yeah. - And he does the bonsai drop. That's what it's called. - That's what it's called, yeah. All right, so now-- - Now we see our hero Kai. - Yeah. - I was like, hey, you know, I'm a round guy. I haven't been around, I was confused. I actually had to go, Griff, who's the star of this movie? 'Cause there's Ryu, is that my pronouncing it right? - Ryu. - Ryu, is how it's usually about-- - Ryu and Kai, and I was like, which is which? Who is who? - Yeah. - But I got it about 45 minutes into the movie, I figured it out. - Yeah, I got it 45 minutes into the movie. - 'Cause no one is called by a name in this movie. In fact, half of the people-- - Millie. - Three corners of the field don't have names. - Millie gets a name. - She does get him, so does Susie. - Yeah, Susie. - But none of the bad guys can get names but Chong Lee. - Man, I shouldn't have scared off all the woman because this movie does have an emotional rollercoaster. And women are into that. - Come back, ladies. - Come back. Come back. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. - Come back to me. - I'm working on getting everybody tank tops. I mean, come on, that's cool, right? - All right, so now we see Kai our hero destroying. We see him as the ranks, he's sending the brackets. - Yeah. - Did you bet on this graph? - Of course I did, Murray. It doesn't matter that it happened, you know, 35 years ago, you could still bet on it. - You started licking your lips as you were watching those brackets. - Murray, I'm up 60 bucks this week. We see a shout of the crowd. We see, I didn't notice because I don't see color. There's a lot of white women apparently in this crowd drift, a lot of guallos. - Berry diver. Guallos, thank you. I was trying to ask you about that. - I had so much fun. - And then we see a very well put together Asian woman with Asian Tom Basley. It was Mr. C and I don't mean Chinese, I mean Cunningham. And he's much older than her. Shouldn't be with her at all. She should be with Kai if you think about it. - Mm, Murray, what are you saying here? - All right, next we see Raja with his name. - But again, we need to talk audience 'cause this is very important in a tournament movie is to talk about the audience because sometimes you see it's just business people. It's just women in short short dresses. - Fight tournaments have mascots. Is there a mascot for the fight? - Yes, we saw it in this movie. 'Cause remember when we had the fucking, guys, we're gonna have a great scene we're gonna talk about later. Bodybuilders everywhere. But there was one woman who stood out and she was kind of like a jester of the whole scene. She's like a young Jim Cornette. She was taking photographs but then she was awesome. - She was in the beginning too. - I didn't notice her. - Okay. - Actually, no, I did notice her. She was doing some gags on the side. - Okay, that's good. - Juggling and stuff, man. - So, do we need anything in love about the crowd? - Oh yeah, we just gotta talk about it because it's very diverse. It's not just suits. - It's not just like-- - One thing that brings people together is people getting pummeled. It brings unites people. Watching someone get this shit kicked out. - But think of what happened-- - We all love it. - But what happened to it today? Think about who's going to MMA shows today. What happened? - Brose. - Why did it, why did it, why? I don't know. - Everybody used to go to these fights. Now it's just-- - I don't even watch it anymore. - You don't even watch it anymore. You don't wanna be a part of that role. - You don't wanna be a part of that. - It's fucked up. - Yeah. - So now we see, he says his name is Raja. - Yeah. - His trunks were named Raja. - His pants were called Raja. I don't know his name. - And he, yeah, it's the Turbines. We're like, he's Indian, obviously. And he's fighting-- - He was there and basically scrubs. It looked like he just took his shirt off. - There were, yeah, he didn't have a good look. - He had an awful look. - Yeah. - He's fighting a guy, proficient in monkey style. - He is-- - He had an interesting look. He looked like he'd been up on a fucking crack bender for fucking, like, a week. - Yeah. - He slept in a week. - I will probably have to get you the shot of this guy when he rips a chunk of Raja. - Yeah, if there's so many gifts I need you to get me from this movie. - Well, we might actually have to sit down after we're gone here and get down because-- - Not that anyone's gonna pay attention. - I love when Murray is like, Griff, don't fight in the movie when this particular scene happened. Yeah, just search through the 90 minutes. - I know, fuck. - You do it sometimes. You're very good about it now. - You have not done that to me in a fair little time. - So, monkey style is holding his arm. He's evading because he's tall and slow. - Right. He gets in there real close, monkey man does, jumps up, gets caught like a baby, but then climbs around on the back of Raja's shoulders and then Raja thinks he got the better when he throws him away. - Well, he notices something. (growls) - Well, I don't know why he talked like that. That's not me, everybody, that's the movie. - I'm glad you brought up talking because most of these movies, these are Chinese movies, Hong Kong. - Chinese. - Chinese. - Chinese. - Are dubbed. And I'm like, maybe that's a good thing because this movie is not dubbed. And there are at least a couple of actors, English isn't their third speaking word. - Smoothies. Look at you. - Are you okay? - High. - They're obviously speaking phonetically. There's no way they know any English. They're just being told by the director, talk, like say this word, and they're just saying it. I mean, they're giving it their all. I'm not cheating on them. - Oh, yeah, no. - But it's very difficult when you're a gualo to understand what the fuck they're saying sometimes. - This is definitely gonna be one of the most rewarding movies that we have done, where if you watch the movie and then listen to us, you're gonna have such a fucking good time with it. But unfortunately, people are just gonna throw this movie away. - Raja is missing something. - And we get this beautiful cut down to Monkey Man. And he is like a drag queen now. He's got his eyes, like you said. They're like-- - He looked sunken. He looked like-- - He looked sick, like-- - He's like in a misfit cover band, oh shit. - There we go, better. I'm so sorry, drag queens. Yeah, he looked like he was in a misfit cover band. He had some interesting shit going on, and he's got a chunk, a furball of hair. - Yeah, like where pubes, where did that come from? They are curly. - And it looked like he ripped off Trump's head, you know. - I'm thinking, yeah, he just ripped off this guy's pubes, no, big little circle in the center of Raja's chest is missing. - Continuity though, that hair was gone the rest of the movie. - Yeah, I was great, I mean, they could've just shaved it, but why did they do prosthetics? It seemed like they could just shave a little horrible-- - I know, right. - He insisted, no, you did not cut Raja's hair. - All right, so-- - And he blows it at him like a kiss. - Exactly. - And that enrages Raja. - So Raja is tossing him around, tosses him out. He kicks, he's so tall, he kicks one of the low-haying lights and that gets the crowd into a fervor. - Yeah, that was like a real time filler scene there. - It was. - We see them slowly crank up, there's one light that's just dangling down, literally his head is hitting. - Right, they're freaking out, they're like, oh my God, we gotta get this light off. And next thing you know, monkey man's being like thrown around everywhere and Raja wins, guys. I don't remember how it ends. - He just throws him out of the ring and destroys him. All right, now we're introducing Bolo Young. He will be referred here on, you know, fourth as Snake, but he is called-- - No, he will be referred to as Snake, Chongli, and Bolo. I guarantee you, we're gonna-- - I'm gonna call him Bolo right throughout the movie. - Yeah, yeah, okay. But his name in this is supposed to be Changli. It is Changli, clearly by the audience. - Not a coincidence at all, it is a coincidence. - That it's maybe-- - Maybe they didn't like the crowd noise of Changli, and so they just took blood sport, Chongli chants. - I don't know, but he's taking on the sumo. - And they went full modern wrestling with this, 'cause all the modern wrestling women, this is a mate, this is these wrestling women. This is their thing. There's a competition to see how much of their bottom-ass cheek they can show off in modern wrestling of women. And the camera guys always, and they always get that undershot. And this camera guy's been training for that his whole life. - Why an underhanded shot, if you will? - 'Cause he gets under this sumo, so he's not seeing any sex here. He's just like-- - Is this a scene where they're basically in a sumo clench, and is-- - The sumo, like the right on the apron, the hardest part of the-- - Yeah, the hardest part. - Well, the sumo comes out, and he does the sumo stance, and the one leg, one leg-- - John Lee kind of like mocks him, but doing a mocking version of the stance. - Yeah, and we're gonna explore what the fuck's going on with Snake here in a little bit here, but he seems to be having a little too much fun with all of this. That's the hint I'm gonna give you. And so, yeah, he steps out, and-- Okay, guys, Bolo Young, as I talked about last week, is five foot two. He is 265 pounds. He's the perfect weight. - Perfect weight. - You might have to use some substances to get to the perfect weight at that height, but he's got this fucking Jack little body, and he's like-- - Very stout, very Danzig-esque. - Yeah, and he's just like, "I can sumo with sumo." And so, yeah, you're right. He starts getting pushed around and everything, 'cause he's playing the sumo's game. - So, they're like, he's like, 'cause I guess if you get thrown out of the ring, the fight's over with, because they're teasing that, 'cause they're right on the edge of the fucking ring. - Is that the fault of this movie? They never explain the rules. - No, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, he's right on the edge. - But then, he goes, "An idea, diaper." And he grabs the fucking diaper, unwinds it, and smothers the sumo guy with his own diaper. - Right? Is this a baby face move? - Well, no, he's the villain, he's ultimate villain. He's Bolo Young. - But the crowd is going wild for him. - People love a fucking heel, dude. - He's like-- - It's Moxley. - He's like Bugs Bunny. He's just like goofing on everybody. - He did safety pin the gay shoulders to the mat. That was kind of funny. - Thank you. - And he got in drag one moment. I'm gonna talk about that. And now I see it. All right, so he goes on next. He faces off against Rasha. - That's right. - And he gets the old game of, I was gonna say game of throws. Game of death, boot to the chest. - Oh, that's right. - Where we get the print. He gets a boot print, not a footprint. A boot print, red. - A boot print, yeah. - And he's, 'cause he's like, I'm fucking solo, or snake, or chungly. Take your choice. - Take your choice, yeah. - I'm gonna fuck you up now, big guy. - So we're seeing this, and then we cut to someone in between them, in the audience, watching them. It's our hero, Kai. And he's got this just for a long look, just like it's my destiny. - It's intense. - It's intense. - It's intense. - Two years ago, two years ago, that's 1987. You're keeping score. - That's the year your humble host, Griff, was born. - Yes. - Kai, watching a tape, an old VHS tape of his glory days, when he was the master of the Guma Tae. - That's right. He was the fucking guy. And look at how sophisticated those fans were back in the day. Suits, ties, fucking bowler hats. - Monocles, games. - Monocles, all right. - No, it was a Mr. Peanutfest therapy. - It really was. This explains why a character in her boyfriend, her husband, or whatever, were dressed the nines. Their old school fight. - It's when they allowed the guillos. That's when the T-shirts, and the fucking cargo shorts, and the flip-flops. - It's just like how it's happening over there. And I don't know where it's at in Spain, but apparently Spain is revolting against tourists. - Yeah, they're sick of the tourists. - Yeah, it's kind of like that. - So he's stuck in the glory days. He's like the guy who was the high school quarterback. He can't get over it. And his wife, Susie. Did you notice? I'm so sorry, Murray. There's this new look that young ladies are getting into right now, where they have the cloth overalls that they cinch up. That's what Kai was wearing here. White shirt with a cloth overall that he cinched in. - Well, overalls cloth. - I guess, but it's like, usually you see him in blue jeans. - Hot lugee. - You're talking about cotton? - Yeah, sure, it's hot. But yeah, usually you see it's like blue jeans, but this is like, yeah. - I did not notice that. - So Susie comes in, has to look at her fucking sick as boyfriend or husband. We don't know the relation. - It's a bad way to force you later on. - Yeah, spoiler alert. And she comes in. And this is, okay, I would never be emasculated about this. I don't mind a drink here and there, but if you're drinking this much, you're sick person. But she completely, yeah. Yeah, sick, I would say you're sick if you have that kind of alcohol addiction. Because it's not gonna affect me, but it is gonna affect somebody that I think feel likes. And this is, again, why we don't like feel around. Well, I don't- - You don't like feel. - I guess you like feel. - Maybe we'll get hit by next month. - Maybe we'll get hit by next month. - Maybe anything can happen. - We gotta settle some need. - We gotta, we gotta- - Maybe we'll have a guess on every week. - Griff is losing his mind right now and I'd throw that out there. - So Susie comes into this room, completely emasculates a certain ginty character from a certain fucking movie where he tries to fuck his sister. - Is this impossible to emasculate ginty? - Anybody already has been? I don't, I really don't know. - There ain't nothing hanging between those legs. - Somehow people fail upwards, Murray, and that is ginty in a nutshell. Susie comes in with Johnny Walker Red Label, tucked under- - Really? I thought it was G&B. - I wish it were, Murray. I wish it were. Tucked under her armpit with the fucking 16-ounce glass. She tips it with her, she lifts her shoulder to pour it. That's how just not she's- - She's holding on, yeah, she's holding the, well no, she just slams it into the glass. - Yes. - And this pulls it off, like 'cause it drains out. - She did that almost tucked under her armpit. - And she made that farting noise too with her up, but I still can't do. Almost broke our chair, I'm just- - Are you okay, do you need a backup chair? No, we're fine. - Oh, okay. - And she- - Yeah, so what can't do with that? Can you put the farted noise with your armpit? He did it! - Jealous, so jealous. Can't do that. - The day I learned how to do that, when I was like seven, was the greatest day of my life. But yeah, and then I think I got the still shot of this because it makes me laugh. I'm gonna get the shot of ginty with his thimble, his little bird feeder, his little goddamn hummingbird, feeder shot of whiskey, and I won't- - We're talking about white fire people. - Oh my god, what a sick motherfucker that ginty. So yeah, Susie's got- - Yo! I'm not being racist, this is exactly how it all- - Yeah, everybody. - Yo! - Knee to get a chop. - Maybe sell your dream and pay your way to fame. - I didn't get that. - And he just ignores her. He's enraptured with his old fight tapes. - Well, how do you- Everything is crumbling around him. He's not the fighter he used to be. It's a young man's game fighting is, of course. He can't get back in there. He's old, he's too old for this. She's going on and on about him getting a real job. We've all heard this before. You gotta get a real job. - I have a job, I teach fighters. That not real chop! All right, cut two, hooligans, energy. How many ducks do they have in a row in their Jeep? - 14. - I was enamored with a gang, I saw none of the Jeep. - You didn't take a fuck off on the back of it? - I did not. - I really did. - Yeah, they spray painted fuck off on the back. - Well, that's actually how, what- - 'Cause they had like a legit army Jeep. They didn't have one of our fashion Jeeps that we have now. And on the windows, the little windows they have, they painted a skull on the one. - Of course they did. - And the other was just like a circle with a cross through it. - Yeah, man. - All right, you know. - Colofro, let's fuck, let's break these gang members down. We get red suka. - Okay, and he's the chicken knot goblet. - He's constantly chewing on a chicken butt. - He's got anime eyebrows. - Yeah, like he has them stylized people. He had really thick eyebrows, and he has- - Rocho Marx level eyebrows. - Yeah, he's got them like trimmed, so they've got an abrupt end, and they kind of escalate upwards, outward. Oh man, he's got a little- - He has a red, it's not- - It's like Eddie Murray. - What? - Eddie Murray, the comedy set he did, where he wore the red leather suit. - Eddie Murphy, for his, well Eddie Murray, it was the lion's kicker for most of the 80s. - Damn it. I, no, it wasn't leather. I didn't think it was leather. I thought it was just a red suit. - Oh, maybe it was? I thought it was- - It was all red. No, he had a red, and not technically a mohawk, 'cause it just was on the top. - Yeah, it was just a- - It didn't go down the back, but it was a mohawk basically. Constantly gnawing on a chicken foot. That was his thing. - And giggling, he was the giggler. So he was kind of the jester of the group. - We have one guy, this is my favorite guy. - Mr. Clint. - I think so, 'cause he had no hair. His eyebrows were shaved off. He was the opposite. So he was complete, he had alopecia, I don't know what the folks going. Cosby sweater, athlete. - Isn't it a Cosby sweater out? - It wasn't totally full on Cosby, but it was a sweater. - I didn't even remember what the sweater saw. - He had a sweater, with a crew neck, and acid washed jeans, but this was the kicker. - That's correct. - This is why he was my favorite. We'll call him this. - I would say it's a little cheeky as a perfect kicker. - Oh, you'll get that joke in a moment. Because he had the back pocket cut out of his jeans and so his butt cheek was bared, all right, but it was literally like he just cut the pocket out. And he rode in Sharpie on his cheek, don't touch. So he is the ultimate cacti's because he's giving you, he's almost inviting you in and then he's don't touch. - Yeah, just look, you cannot touch. - That's all right. - Then we had a guy who just had multicolored hair. He had short hair, but he's like multicolored. - That's right, I would shine to remember the other ones, but they really don't shine like the other two. Those were clearly like we studied under Elleonk, we know how to be extras. The other guy was just like, I'll just have kooky hair and just be quiet. And then our finally, our gang leader. - That's right. And I'm sorry to a certain friend of our show. We don't actually have a name for this character, so we went with his acting, like the name is credited as. - He's credited, role is gang leader, but he deserves more, he deserves a name and his real life name is Stewart. - We're not throwing shade at our buddy Stewart. - No, not at all. - 'Cause we're not saying you're this guy, 'cause this guy's horrible. - As I thought about it more and more, I was like, Stewart has told us to tell of his youth. And he told us that he ended up just piecing out of his house at 13, traveling across to all of Europe, he said, "I've wound up in Asia for a while." And I liked to imagine-- - I didn't want martial arts in it. - I liked to imagine he ended up in a, you know, Hong Kong for a little while there, and he was really into denim and sleeveless gloves and black shades and slicked back hair. And I was like, "Yeah, you know what, this could be Stewart." - Yeah, okay. - And he dropped the accent, of course. - This character is a gualo, he's a white man. Gang leader, Stewart. Okay, if you're familiar with modern wrestling, AEW to be exact, he is the embodiment of a character by the name of Orange Cassidy. He's wearing the Canadian tuxedo, all denim, big white tennis shoes, sleeveless gloves, hair slicked back, blonde hair, slicked back, shades. Now, if you're a little older, I will say, and this is most of our audience, and you're not familiar with wrestling at all, he looks like Falco, German sensation, the first white guy rapper, doesn't get credit for that. - I've never heard that name. - And I know, Rocky Amadeus, you know Rocky Amadeus. - I think so. - You think so. - Murray, I just-- - By the way, I just wanna say-- - I just played Harry Nielsen for you. - He was torturing me with the widest music I've ever heard, Harry Nielsen, music for people without a personality. - Here's the corner, go buy yourself one. Falco, Durkomo Sar, not only was it rap, it was rap in German, you know how hard it is to rap in German? - I've been there, I've talked to Germans who rap-- - Technically he's Austrian, 'cause I don't wanna besmirch the good name of Falco by saying he's German. - Yeah, you gotta-- - Keep that fixed, man. - But he looks like Falco. - Okay. - Who, by the way, was on, we call back to a young Murray's youth. We used to have our own version of Soul Train here in Detroit called The Scene. - Oh, okay. - And it was on Channel 62. First channel to ever be owned by a black man, first T.L. of Instation to ever be owned by a black man. - So that wasn't a CBS affiliate episode? - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Okay. - That's what it is now. - Early 90s is when they became, it used to be Fox 2, used to be CBS. - Oh. - And everyone's like, who cares about this shit? But no, it was called The Scene. - Okay. - Sugar, sugar, salt, salt. If you didn't get off today, it's not my fault. That was their line. And they turned Detroit at six o'clock from six to seven Detroit became geek town 'cause that's when you got geeked up. And then after seven, it went back to Detroit. It was geek town for just that moment. - What the fuck is-- - I'm so sorry. - Look up the scene, everybody. Detroit The Scene. - I like that. - Hosted by Nat Morris. - Nat Morris. - All right, anyway. - So I don't want to say Falco appeared on that show. I think I left that out. - You left that out, you did, yeah. All right. - Our punks recklessly driving that Jeep with their little fucking neon ducts, waving at all the Jeep drivers that go amongst them. And they're just knocking over at full cars. - They're like in a market, like a wet market, if you will. - Is that what they call a wet market? - Well, no, wet markets where you get the livestock and all that stuff. - This is kind of like a bazaar. It's got all the fucking market. - It's a fruit market. - It's a fruit market. - You got Instagram models out there taking pictures. - I'm waiting, I'm like, oh my God. Fruit stands, they gotta get hit by this Jeep. - Gotta get hit by it. - No, they just stop, they abuse some fruit. - That's right, they steal an apple. - Of course, a guy does the international thing of pay me by putting his hand out and going, "Mani, Mani, Mani," and that's a callback he does it later on in there. - Was that the same guy? - Yeah, same guy. - Oh, okay. I was so, that got me so good because I was like, everybody in this time, "Mani." - Well, also, not only are they stealing, we get a little test of strength. We get to see how badass Stuart is. - And we get to see how badass this local teen is too, 'cause he just stares Stuart in the eyes. - I thought he was one of the gang. Was it just a local teen? I thought they were, I thought they were-- - Was it color hair? - I thought it was color hair. I thought they were demonstrating what Stuart could do. - Oh, maybe it was. - Because he puts a bag of beans and a shoulder, like boombock style. - Yeah. - And Stuart, wow, it kicks it and breaks the bag without messing up the fucking, the goon at all. - Yeah, explodes open. Fucking red jumps off the hood of the car onto the beans. - Well, that's your total, yeah. - So I'm like-- - Prett falling. - Kai's gonna kick this guy's ass. This guy's totally a villain. - We don't even know Kai's there until the camera zooms in on him, and he's got this just distraught, but yeah, he's just like-- (claps) - Hey, it's your fault if Millie starts barking. - That's a good call. - Mocking, clap, and his heads into his dojo. I thought it looked like a building under construction. Like, they were like in high-rise. - Yeah, look at-- - 'Cause his gym is like on the roof of a building. - Yeah, yeah, it was like a terrace, I think they called all of them. - He has one guy, one student who's just doing curls. - Just curls, the guys, you gotta work out more than just the curls. - Susie's back. She's, he's like, "I found a new job!" - No, job for you. - And he's just fucking staring off into space. - Yeah, he-- - I think he's reading the paper. - He's reading the New York Post, and he's like, "Did you hear that they're making the kids "over in America urinate in kitty litter boxes?" Joe Rogan's favorite. - Oh. - Okay, so she's just berating him, adoring it up on him, he's ignoring it, and they're clearly in a loveless marriage. And then-- - Was it just, wait, okay, we've always said you had to love, or you had to hate before you loved. - But when you hate and then love and then hate-- - It's bad. - It's the worst, yeah. - It's the bad, okay. So they've gone bad. - If you love someone at first and then you're gonna grow to hate them, that's what I'm trying to say. If you're in love with someone right now, it's not gonna last. I'm just saying. - Hold up, we gotta put that in context again. So if you got into a relationship based on love right off the bat, you're fucked. - Love it for a sight, you're over. - It does not exist in Murray's world. - No, it doesn't exist in the real world. - Lady in the tramp has bullshit to you. - Did you see how it ended? - No. - Tramp pushed her in front of a car. - Oh, really? - Yeah. Fuck. - So we see a guy, there's like a ladder on the side of the building and our man Stewart is climbing up him. Oh my God, he's gonna challenge Kai. This is fucked up shit. He's like, this place is like, is this guy a second language English? Cause he was so bad. - Yeah. - He was like speaking phonetically. He's like, this place is a dump. - He pushes the one guy doing curls over, goes over to the news, you know, Kai reading his newspaper. What do you want with me? - I wanna take you home. - I want to take you home. - I want to take you home. Cause he was always like straining with his wife. - Yeah, you're right. - Like you've taken a shit or something. - His neck was all like, you saw every vein in his neck anytime. - So we're like, oh my God, this guy is gonna learn from Kai. But Kai is a good guy. What the fuck's going on here? - It's the most. - How low he's sank that he's gonna teach a fucking gualo piece of shit. - This is the most bizarre transition I may have ever seen in a movie because we've already seen, we've already established that Kai's TV is in his living room. He has moved the TV and the tape player into the kitchen. He's sitting at the kitchen table, drinking. - Forcing Stewart to watch the same fucking bite tape. - I would say force, you know, you can say force, but Stewart was loving it. He's like, wow, are you gonna teach me all these moves? - If I learn these moves, I could kick anyone's ass. - And so we get a little cut over to Susie. - Slow zoom in of a dear Masahiko letter. We've all gotten a dear Masahiko letter from a woman in our life, Griffith happens. - It happens. - Susie left him and he's slowly, it's like out of bed, light, right beaming, right on the letter, zoom in. - You could say a moonbeam was lighting it up. That's a Harry Nielsen song for you piece of shit. - She wants a divorce. And he's gonna give it to her 'cause he's through with this woman. Next morning, Kai is training Stewart, they're jogging. They stop by the local noodle shop. I wouldn't feed this shit to my dog! It's like, come on, dude, when it like, show us some like respect to the culture here. - And the guy's just like, is this your new student? Why do the chef speak so clear English? Anthony Bourdain was here. Who the fuck is this? What is he doing? - There is some character named Mr. Hank, is he the guy that shows, is he, is Mr. Shaq? - That was Jack. - No, it was not Jack, it was Mr. Hank. - Yeah, no, I thought that's what you were gonna say. Was that Jack later? - No, I'm saying it's he Mr. C in the final flight. Not Mr. Chinese, Mr. Cunningham. Is that the same character? - Oh, just with, oh. - Because he's upset with Kai. He's like, Susie wants a divorce. What the fuck are you gonna do about that? - Oh, you might be right. So look at this, this piece of trash. How low you fall in time. - Is this your new student? Look at him. Sleeveless gloves, slicked back here, glasses, doesn't respect. - Doesn't sell for shit. The fuck, 185 pounds at best. - Ew, ew, I am so disappointed in you, Kai. You have sunk so low. - All right, now we're back. We're training, we're sparring. It's the one student versus Stewart. And Stewart is pummeling him. He's fucking taking liberties with him, kicking him in the balls. - That's right, and Kai is just, you see him kind of wincing, like, am I doing the right thing here? I want to win. Do I want to win this way? So he's kind of having the, you know, the karate kid effect here. It's like, do I want to win this way? - So while Stewart's training, what is his gang getting him to? Like hooliganism? - They don't have a leader. So it's just like, what the fuck would they be doing? - You just set loose, like a pack of dogs. - Well, they're going to look for the weakest of the weakest prey. A child, an elderly woman, and a teenage girl selling. - And bakers. - 'Cause he's selling buns. - And bred too. And they're gnawing on those buns. - Yeah, again, Baldy, Mr. Clean, he goes in there and just fucking grabs a handful of those buns and starts gnawing on them and chicken legs just picking his teeth as usual. Colored hair is just giggling. - Did you notice he actually painted the fingernails on that chicken foot? - I didn't notice that. It was interesting. - Yeah, you can see that on laser disc. You probably can't see that on YouTube. - I surprised you missed a few things there on laser disc, but hey, you caught that scene. That's important. - What's to me? And Mr. Clean rubbing his bald head on some chicks buttocks. - Oh, yeah, then a young girl pops up who will not have this nonsense. - Right. - Wearing that cliche, pajama outfit that you see. - Like martial arts, martial arts, wearing and everything. - And she, I was expecting her to be like a character in this movie, no, 'cause she handles these guys. - So what happens is red comes over and grabs this girl who will call Chung Lee by the shoulders and Chung Lee is just like fucking, you can see it's irritating the fuck out of her and she's, you're like, this girl's gonna bust out of this. What is Mr. Clean doing? Rubbing his bald head starts at her feet. Like a cat, rubbing his head, gets up to her ass, rubs his head all over her butt cheeks and shit. - What, what a hypocrite. He's all about don't touch my butt. It's Griff Vomits into a rag. And he's like, I'm gonna touch yours. I know, what's that, and the most intrusive way ever. I don't know, okay, okay. - Is that a thing? - We gotta leave this up. - Is that a thing, rubbing your bald head on someone's butt? - I know, right? According to, I know, I heard that somewhere. I think it might have been on an episode of, whose line is it anyway? I think I heard Kyle Macriere, that bald guy, say like, all the women love it when I rub my bald head on him. But, is that more intrusive than just getting like, touched on the butt? If some guy rubs his head on your butt. - Yeah, 'cause your face is there. - Your face is there, yeah, okay. So, he's rubbing his head all over her tush, and she's like, look, I know you want the tush, but you can't, what's our ZZ Top song? - Tush. - He's looking for some tush. - I'm looking for some tush. Okay, yeah, but she's not giving the tush. So, she fucking tosses them back and starts delivering fucking kicks. She's taking them down. - Until Stewart hears this. He hears his goons in peril. So, he walks down, you're not bad for a woman. - So, he's descending, she's us sending the stairs. Looks like they're gonna have like a real fight. You might get to see that Stewart isn't really that far along in his training or something. He just fucking haymakers, this girl. - Teeth go flying. - She goes flying. - Yeah. - Yeah. - All right, so, hey, after you've beaten a woman, what are you gonna do? You're gonna celebrate. You go to the local pub, you get some IPAs. - That's all right. - And they're just having a good old time. They see a lovely lady with her boyfriend just having a nice brunch, if you will. - Yep. - And they got a harassum. - Of course they do. - We see Red Suit picking his teeth with that chicken foot. - That's good heel work, man. - And then, the boyfriend's had enough. - He pushes Mr. Clean now. I think he pushes Red Suit down. - I had to put this in there because maybe you need to put it in because he goes, "Hey man, fuck you!" - Hey man, back here. - He stood out for me. So I had to write that in our notes. They've had it, and so they follow the young lady and her boyfriend into the back alley and they are going to fuck them up. And even Stewart's getting involved. Or no, Stewart's not, he's with Kai. 'Cause they just happen to be jogging by, right? - Yeah, this is where we get the second, 'cause they order drinks and everything. - No, no, no. - Stewart is with his goons. - Yeah, no, he's with his goons. We see that after this whole kerfuffle happens, he's like, "You think you're still fucking top "protecting your girlfriend?" So they let them run off, get a head start, and then it's like, are they gonna stay back to pay their bill? No, they're gonna walk off them slowly. Now, Michael Myers style. And then you get the second emergence of that, apparently, according to you, that guy had a full head of Hulk Hogan hair, so I didn't see the same vendor that you saw. ♪ Money! ♪ ♪ Money! ♪ It's so easy on that at the game, 'cause they've been doing it. - I didn't even remember him doing that scene, 'cause I don't later on, there's another money scene. - Yeah, this was a different guy. It was the bit throughout this movie, and you missed it. Man, for laser diss, you were. - You were in my world slot. - Hey, you went through a lot when you were watching this movie, so you're excused. - So Kai just happens to be walking by that alley, and he sees his student attacking a woman. - They are literally holding Ryu down and letting Stewart just pummel the shit out of this woman. I mean, he throws a couple punches. - And Mr. Clean's robbing his bald head on her. - Oh, right, he's getting a full frontal with her now, though. - But his poor boyfriend's had enough, and he's handling these guys. - Right. - He's kicking Stewart's ass, so much of the point where Stewart's going, "Master, sensei, help me!" And then Kai knows this guy, he's had enough of this guy. - Yeah, you see Kai, he's kind of like doing the algebra of the whole situation, he's looking down. He's got this woman who just had a bald head rubbed all over and everything. - Bald marks on her. - He looks up at Mr. Clean, you know what? I don't know if he was disgusted by Stewart's acting, 'cause he's vicious, he might win a fight or something. But when he sees that bald heady geek rubbing all over that woman, he's like, "No, I can't." This is Stewart's friend? - No, he slapped Stewart in disgust. - Shocking Stewart. - Shocking Stewart. - And he helps Millie up. This is the girl's name's Millie, and her boyfriend's name's Ryu, Ryu. And he apologizes, "Ah, sorry! "Hul marks to the top! "Fucking you! "Where did you learn those moves?" - And Ryu just walks away. He's like, "Hey, thank you, but I'm outta here." - Yeah, I don't actually practice, so I don't know what you're talking about, sir. And then we go to the next morning, and we're watching a man do a word you say these are some good technique layups? - No, I guess we're a Chinese guy. But it's an interesting shot, we're getting a down, which I hate. I always hated rims that didn't have a net. - Yeah. - You know, we talk about how people abuse public bathrooms. I also want to talk about people. You know, the city is nice enough to have outdoor baskets. Maybe this is a ghetto thing, I don't know. This is my experience. So they're nice enough to supply basketball courts for the young youth to play. And what do they do? They immediately rip the fucking rims down, hanging on 'em, rip the nets up, to the point where they gotta have those, you ever play basketball with a chain net? You ever seen those? They gotta put those fucking chain nets up, it's suck. - You don't like the chain net? - No, just get a net, I wanna hear that. Nothing but net. - The, I will say, they have those nets miked up for the NBA, and when you hear that, like, wrist, swish, it is so satisfying. - And he has no net, I don't like it, 'cause sometimes you can't tell if you scored or not, you gotta have the net, that's a whole point of the nets. - They could have like a bamboo net or something, man. - He's still on some pathetic finger rolls. He's just like, he can't, Asian man can't jump, we know that. - Well, we know that, but still, it's like, you weren't impressed by the ball. - No, apparently a college was, 'cause he gets a scholarship, apparently. - He did have a scholarship, yeah. - And so he's doing some layups, doing his fucking layup drills. - And then we get, you know, behind him as he's taking the basketball back, we see that Kai's there, just watching him, get the zoom in, Rio comes over to be like, I think he's a ball, knocked over to Rio, or he passed the ball to Rio, or Kai. - The ball goes to Kaya. - Yeah, and so, Kai's like, I'm going to train you, and Rio laughs at him, no, you're not. - And so, Kai does a super secret move into the ball. - It spirals toward him, like a cannonball. - Yeah, it's very interesting. - Not Rio off his feet. - Right. - And he's like, you need to be my (speaks in foreign language) - You must understand, I have a scholarship to school, university. I'm going to be basketball star. - No, you have no moves. I will eat you to be the best. I refuse to give up on you. - All right guys, you know who it was coming. I told you it was coming, rocky flares are happening now. - More like stocky, because we get a stocking montage where Kai is stocking Rio everywhere he goes, but there's a whimsical music playing, so it's fun stocking. We get a shot where he's in a restaurant, Kai pours his tea for him. - That was great, because he was looking away, and then he turns back over, and it's Kai pulling. - Rio's taking a pee, Kai's holding his dick for him, shakes it, puts it back in. - Dabs it, it's dab, it's not a shake, it's a dab. - And he's just like, nope, sorry, I'm not going to fucking train with you. - That's all right. - So, later that night, Rio and Millie are out on a date. - Rio, I'm sorry. - That's okay. - And he's like, don't worry baby, I know enough to protect you, you do not have to worry about that gang. - Okay, Murray, do you mind me doing this? - I don't mind you at all. - Oh, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. So they actually introduced another character in the movie, I didn't put it into the notes, but do you remember the manager? 'Cause apparently, Rio works at a bow into a bow. - Was he the man? I thought he was just a waiter. I thought Rio was a busboy. - At one point when I was watching it the second time, I heard him referred to as manager. - Okay. - He has no name, he's just manager. And Millie goes to manager later, and manager shows up to all of Rio's fights later. - So, Rio is a busboy at a restaurant, or a dishwasher, some shit like that. - Yeah, and so, Rio's like in the alley, like vomiting or smoking a cigarette or something. And manager comes out there and is like, hey, are you really good at fighting? He's the only one who speaks clear English. Are you really good at all? - No, Millie had, she probably was American, but she spoke perfect English. - She did speak good English, yeah. - You didn't, 'cause it's, good English, speaks well. - Oh, English well. - Ah, Marie, I tolerate you, Griff. But yeah, so, we learn here that, he's like, oh, are you actually gonna go learn? I'm like, fly with this man, you can be a badass. And he's like, look, I want to know enough to protect Millie, and I have that. That's all I need. And now we go over to the date where he's explaining it. And he's like-- - Learn a park. - This is-- - You know what happens in a park, besides guys fucking in the bushes, or he saw him cruising. - Yeah. - A lot of violence, like we see in every death wish movie. - Exactly. - So he's explained to Millie, I told manager, all I wanted to do with my art art is be able to protect you. I just want us to be safe so we can have a happy life together. And she's like, that's so romantic. - Just as they say that, we get a great little scene of our hoods popping up out of everyone. - We see a switchblade, I think. - Yeah, that's a-- - Stewart has a switchblade. - I thought Thriller was about to start up or something. - I thought Beat it was gonna start up. - Beat it, it'll beat it. Yeah, of course, beat it. - We see a chain get whipped across like a handrail from Redshoot, I think we're right. - He thinks he's about to get a blowjob in the park, but no, he's about to get assaulted in the park. - And they get assaulted, and he-- - Tell us Millie Ron. - We cut away, she gets away. - Yeah, Millie-- - And then we cut away. And we're like, obviously he kicked her ass in the fucking alley, this is, he's gonna do it again, right? Next shot, we see a bloody hands clawing at Kai's house. - Yeah, apartment. - So he's at the front door where the buzzers are and everything, and he's trying to get in there. - Kai opens up, oh my God! Brings him in, pouring fucking pure alcohol on his wounds. - Right, TCP, he's got all of it. He's pouring MSG on the wound, because that's something. And Kai just comes, the Ryu looks up at him. - Sensei, teach me everything. I have to be enough strong for my woman. - No, I don't think so. The shoe is on the other foot. I will not teach you. - He turned into fucking Ivan. - One stock deserves another, and we get a switcheroo, and now Ryu is fucking stalking Kai. - Sensei, Kai, yeah. - You want revenge? - I will not teach you. - I didn't write on all the fun bits. Was there any fun bits you remember to bring up here? - It was the exact same thing. Like, it was like, Kai, I didn't remember one, where Kai is like denim shopping, he's like feeling that acid wash jeans, and then he looks over, and we see a little coy look of Ryu. - Ryu is trying on the denim jeans, giving him the thumbs up. Like, you're gonna want these, boss. They're so fucking good. - So finally, he relents. He's jogging, and Ryu is chasing him. He's like, all right, come on. - Ryu was just waiting, and Kai comes by and waves at him. - Let's go. - 'Cause he's like, and then they're having a heart to heart at the table, and Ryu's like, I no longer want revenge. - Yeah, they're in like a mountaintop restaurant or something, and he's asking him, over to you, of course. - Why do you want me to train you? Do you want it for revenge? - I no longer want revenge. I want to learn. And then he's like, well, first thing, I have to show you my fucking tape that I make everyone watch, and he does. Now we cut back to Kai is like Ed is dojo cleaning up, and Ryu's girlfriend, Millie, shows up, and of course, she's Adrian and Op. She's a classic Susie. She's like, I hear you're gonna train, 'cause she's, we're doing her voice because she speaks perfect English. You're gonna train Ryu. I don't want that. I don't want him in this world of violence that you're from. Stop, please, do not train my boyfriend. I cannot promise. Ryu enters, and he's like, hey, look at my new kicks, and he's showing off. - He does this amazing thing, 'cause we missed a bit of that opening training montage, or he's doing his sandal, weighted sandal squats up the stairs. - Yeah? - Yeah, we just-- - Was that not in the, I don't even see that in her notes. - Oh yeah, you skipped over it. - Oh, okay, yeah, no, that's important thing, because we get, he's got metal sandals. - Eight kilograms, apparently. - And they, yeah, they show it, because they show the bottom of the show, you see dog shit in there and everything, and he's doing squats made to jump hop up steps. - Like, like Rocky going up the fucking library. - Exactly, again, the shades of like, Adrian and Rocky and training a new youth. We get some sparring happening, of course. - He's gotta have some sparring. - He's made to like, just hold this foot up in place with the weighted stance. - One making a stance, yeah. That's very hard to do without a weight. - Breaking board, but we see he can't, we can't really break him. - Breaking his knuckles, breaking his knuckles on him. - So when Millie shows up to tell Kai, like, you gotta stop training him, he is not a fighter, he's a lover, I've had two inner courses with him in the last two years, and they were okay. - Is that what you call it, inner courses? - That's what Asians call it. - Okay, I didn't say that, you two. (laughing) So he's like, hey, he's an old man. - Kai, Murray, Kai does the respectful thing, it says nothing, Ryu shows up, high kicks a bag, and then picks up a weight and starts curling. - Go, let me tell you, I'm a man, I'm a learner, fight like a man. (laughing) - She runs off crying. - Yeah. - All right, speaking of a man, strongly is that his gym, the snake gym. - Right. - Branding people. - Our boys are in attendance here. - Giving a nice demonstration to all the media, 'cause they're excited for the next world championship of free fighting. - He's wearing a Kurt Henning singlet here. - He's got some new flair in his hair, I think. - He's got some beads in a little like side rat tail. It looks like the first Star Phantom Menace, those little battle ones. - Yeah, I can't remember the calm. - Yeah, I know what you're exactly what you're talking about. - And he's just destroying these jobbers. - They're sending one at him. He won't even allow the press to be in the same room. They're behind fucking bullet proof, sound proof glass. - Well, they're not allowed in the snake gym, they're allowed to look. - Yeah, they're allowed. He throws this jobber into it. His face gets all smashed up, blood smears all over it, cleans off his hands, send me more. Reynolds, Lopez, you're up. Two guys in fucking beach bumwares step up to fight him. Like, man, they are jobbers to a team. - Meanwhile, Kai and Ri are watching this. They're on the other side of that fucking window. - Yeah. - We hear a huge goop. - Yeah, Ri is getting rattled by it. - And he is terrified, which he should be. - Right. - This is fucking Chong Lee, dude. - So he takes off, Kai, you know, is behind him. We see, of course, that snake does just fucking handle those jobbers. And we just cut over to a new training area. - It's in the gym. - It is basically the beekeepers barn, except what it should look like. There's water dripping everywhere, it looks disgusting. He's still got a few sheets up, but they look like shit. And there's a punching bag. Ri is going to town on it, but then he just collapses. It starts crying. - He's holding a headband in his hand. What is that? Why are you crying? Are you afraid that snake is going to murder you? - I'm very afraid. - As he holds his headband, like, what's going on with that headband? - What's going on with that headband? - It was my father's. He was a great martial artist. He, I had my first, I was only six year old with my first fight. I had to fight a nine year old. - That's three year difference. - I was terrified, but my father gave me his headband. He put it on and I no longer afraid I was enough strong. And I won my first fight with a nine year old. - Kai realizes this is the power. This is the chief force. He takes the headband and brushes it off. Parts the hair for Ri because he's got beautiful bull cut, brushes it to the sides for him. - Dude, he just pulls his hair back. - And puts that headband on him, ties it tight. You are my Taya. And Kai turns, sorry, Murray. Ryu turns and looks up at Kai. Thank you. - Next morning, more training, right? Ryu has pep in his step. He is fucking slam dunking a basketball now. Pray snapping boards like they're nothing. - That's right. - He tries to do, he wants something to do a jump kick to break the boards. And Ryu shows that he can jump six feet with those weighted sandals on. And then Kai goes, no, not good enough. Oh, wow, what? Take 'em off. Take 'em off. - He's like, he almost flies away. He flies so high. - Yeah, you're doing a million dollar, billion dollar man sound effect there. 'Cause that's what he's doing. He is jumping so fucking high. This is-- - You hear fucking RKOs? ♪ I can dream, I can fly ♪ - Where the fuck this song is? - That's exactly what it is. It's on the Space Jam soundtrack. Space Jam soundtrack, which I, of course, own on vinyl, 'cause it is one of the greatest soundtracks ever made. I just love this. This is where this movie, I was like, this is better than I thought it was gonna be. He's teaching him secret arts of fist of the fucking North Star. - Where is he? - We did a live action movie, people go look. - Yeah, we did, and we did a brief review of the anime, too. We did, I think we did like a five minute thing. - Oh, okay. - I don't remember. We watched both, I remember that. - Oh, okay. - To compare and contrast. - Oh, gotcha, gotcha. - Yes, he is ready, people. He's ready for the world championship of free fighting. - Right, and they go up and pray, because, of course, you can't be a martial artist unless you're-- - It's about spirituality, right? - You're not about violence. - Yeah. - They're praying to the Buddha. - There's that one last shot. - I could do this move. This was like, who cares? There's a candle. And Ryu chops at it, and the wind from his hand not blow. I could fucking do that right now. Get a candle, I'm gonna do it. 'Cause I was like, that's what's he impressive? He just puts out the fucking, he blows out a candle with the force of his hand. - That's it, but he's that powerful. He's that enough strong now. - So, we get a moment where we cut over to manager, hanging out in that alley outside the restaurant, Millie comes up to him, begs him. Please, you've got to stop. - You're the only guy you listen to, manager. And he's like, I can't, he's a grown fucking man. What the fuck am I supposed to do? - Honestly, I'm excited to see the guy fly. I got money, I got money, I see you here. - Right on there. - Cut to the world championship of free fighting. - 1987. - Not 1989, we're in the past, we're in the past. - We're in the past though, we're in the past though. - Oh my God, this, we just had yesterday, yesterday, the opening ceremony for the Olympics. Take some notes people. - Gojira, really? - No. - This is how you open a competition. We have, I don't know what the fuck this woman was speaking. I don't think it was even Chinese. It was just some gibberish. We had like a white woman and Asian woman in jazzercise outfits, 80s jazzercise outfit. - I'm gonna get you a clip of this. - No, I don't, yeah. - And we get a female bodybuilder looking jacked his fuck with two male ones on the side. And we're like, how can, and then we haven't, we, your favorite, the fucking Asian clown, remember that, taking the photographs? - Yes sir. - I'm like, how can this get better? And then I hear this. ♪ She's in school waiting for suggestions ♪ ♪ He's so nervous about all the questions ♪ ♪ His lips are dry ♪ - There's not a problem. ♪ She's still the test ♪ ♪ No exactly what we think ♪ ♪ If you want a body ♪ ♪ I have to think of sex ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make sure ♪ - That's right people. - Suman, this is the birth of Suman Jew. She was still doing the underground fight scene. - I thought she was all the way back to the '70s. You're saying she's late, '87? - Yeah, no, she was, no. - The birth of Griffith is the person-- - No, were you getting confused? Because in missing an action, she actually was in the present. She wasn't in Vietnam. That scene was, 'cause remember, it's about Chuck Norris going back to Vietnam to rescue. - Oh, okay, okay. - No, she is a creature, she is a child of the '80s. And she is rocking it. I'm like, oh my God. I'm this like, we're watching the birth of a Titan, because this is her early days, this is '87. - Right. - I just love it. - The talented tie. - I like how you paired that together though. You got these jacked up women, the bodybuilders, the bodybuilding dudes. And then you got the Titan of vocal talent. - Right. - It's such a great pairing. - Right. - It doesn't seem like it would work because her voice is so strong. - It's hard and soft. - Yeah, contrast. - Oh my God. Billie Eilish's new album is actually a nod to Sue Manchu's vocal skills. - Well, you know what, Billie, you can't hang. All right, give it off. All right, so we're like, holy shit. This is amazing. This is a lot bigger than I thought. I thought there's just some underground bullshit. - I thought it was underground bullshit too. We saw the guys' ins, the gallows and the-- - All those, yeah. - All those in the audience, but they still put on a, down by the schoolyard. They still put on a good show. - Ryu, first match. He's a born 10-shiro. He's splitting skulls with his fucking axe kicks. - People, like, I'm just like, whoa, this is not Bloodsport. John Colvane damn's got more honor. Ryu is out here splitting skulls. Can Shiro style right off the fucking bat? Second match. Guy has got can Shiro on it. Can Shiro, I've already fucked his name up. He's got Ryu on his heels. And next thing you know, Kai, Ryu just jumps into the air and drops the fucking kick out of the game. - And Millie is getting wet as fuck. She is like, maybe I'm wrong. I love violence now. - Right, we've seen this happen so many times. We saw it happen in Lionheart. We saw it happen in Shoot Fighter. We saw it happen in the fucking Lou Ferrigno is, you know. - Cage fight. - Yeah, yeah. Cage fighter. - Women love violence. - Especially when it's about them. But they can even watch it. - You know, if you don't read faces like me and Marie, of course, read faces, eyes. - Reads eyes, fans, whatever. - All that. - Master's of the body language. - This movie is there for you because you see Kai look back at Millie, turn towards the camera and he finger in the mouth, licks it. - Wow. - That's what that gesture means, this bitch wet. That's what it means. I'm sorry. - And then speaking of what, he splits the skull so blood goes flying everywhere. Third match, he's fighting fucking fat old Mr. Clean from the beginning of this movie. - That's right. Now, I've been saying Mr. Clean for the bald ganger. This is like the bald wrestler dude. - This guy is literally Mr. Clean. - He does have the hoop earring like Mr. Clean. - Marie is doing it better, as always. - Ryu gets caught a little bit in the clinch. - Because, I mean, he's a grappler. So, of course, he's trying to draw him in close so he can absorb a few kicks and everything. - But he goes for that axe kick, flying axe kick, and he doesn't split the guy's skull, but he dents it. - Yeah. And this is where it gets really fissed in the North Star because you see the, suppose it heel connect with his forehead and then you cut to it and he's got this large gnarly makeup effect that they do, of course, practical. It's wonderful. He's got a crater in his skull and then it starts to, you know, swell up. - He's like out of a Popeye cartoon. - Yup, and then Ken, or Kai, you see? I'm still doing it. - Kai gets a little mallet. He thinks it'd go down. - Ryu is walking away and you see the guy's head explode in the background. You are already dead. - And we're like, wait, I'm looking at the time. It's like 45 minutes in the movie. I'm like, what the fuck? We're just gonna end this movie? It's like, nobody's gonna stop Ryu. - 90 minutes of the episode, 45 minutes of the movie. It's an hour and 30 minutes. - Or is somebody gonna stop him because Chongli is backstage hitting the J&B. He's just chugging it. - Dude, get fucked up. So I'm thinking, oh my God, drunken master? Are we gonna get some drunken master shit? No. - Everybody behind the scenes, a little behind the scenes here? This scene came up from Murray when he was doing his notes. He's like, "Griff, it's a blah, blah, drunken master." Is this a drunk master scene? No, he's just bored. - He's gotta make it interesting for himself. He's such a badass. He knows he's gonna win. He's like, "Maybe I'll do a drunk this time." So he's just getting hammered backstage. - So they step up to the ring. Camera guy does a fantastic job. He's doing his favorite shot where he's on the ground, pellining the camera up into the lights. We're getting this blaring light effect. We're looking into Snake's eyes and he can barely keep them open. - Well, before we get the fight, we do get the scene where Kai's like, "You're doing grades, giving him a massage." And he's just like, "You're gonna win this, man." And then fuck, but Millie, she's just like, "I don't know, she saw a fucking chung Lee." - Yeah, she was thinking about saying a word to Ryu, but then she's like, "I can't do it. I just can't do it." And anyways. Now we get to the fight. Ryu versus fucking chung Lee. - Yeah. And so like I was saying, Snake, he's drunk. You were saying that? - You cannot walk a straight line. You cannot see the alphabet backwards. - It's very much like how when he blinded John Claude in Bloodsport, how he was like, you know, kind of, chung Lee, Snake's kind of doing that thing. - So Ryu is like, "I got this." - They do a great, again, they do a fucking great job here because Ryu is reading Snake's feet. So he sees him make him maneuvers and Ryu is like, "That's my move." - Right, but yeah, because we forgot to mention one of the trainings techniques. A Kai was teaching him, when someone strikes it, you do not go backwards. Go with sides. - Side. - Use your angles. - Use your angles. Always angles. And he sees that Snake is staggering backwards. So he's like, "That's my move." And you see, that's why drunken masters are so dangerous. - And then, Chung Lee goes full matrix. He's like, blah, he's like evading every single fucking punch or kick. - I don't know if we ever say this was actually a cool fucking action sequence. This was a fucking cool sequence. - He's clowning Ryu. He's just dodging every single strike. - It doesn't help that Ryu is just like, you know, a five foot seven man against a five foot two man. So it looks like he's towering over him. - It's like a six year old versus a nine year old. - Yeah. Oh my god, great, great analogy. - But what Ryu's got the headband on. - So I'm like, "Ugh." - That headband really does give him a lot of weight in this match. - He gives him power, it's strength. - But then you just look at Bo and that fucking just massive strength and energy. - The core. - The core. As always dodging, matrix style. Ha, ha, qua, qua. Just knocking him back. Just fucking teasing poor little Ryu. And then he gets Ryu a little taste of what he's got and slaps Ryu down and Ryu's like, "Holy fuck." 'Cause this has been easy. He's been a cakewalk so far. - So not bloodied up or anything. Ryu gets back up. - 'Cause I don't think Ryu had never seen Chung Lee fight. So he doesn't know what he's getting. - He saw him do the train against the jobbers and that's it. As far as we know, that's all he saw. So he gets the second flurry of moves and easily defended and Ryu has slapped down. - 'Cause Ryu's bloody as fuck. - Yeah, and then Ryu steps back up and this is the first time he actually gets a blow on Snake. - And that offends him. So much for the, so much for the, he gets a sidekick right in his fucking ribs and he gets picked up and slammed on his neck. - So it's interesting how Bolo decided to do this because he takes Ryu up from behind. - He's like a little oppressism, yeah. - It's a reverse Gorilla press though. I thought Gorilla press when you have the chest, he's got his back up there. - Okay. - And what's interesting about this is that he just like kind of tosses him to a side. Bolo tosses Ryu to a side, grabs his foot and Ryu slams the back of his neck on the mat. - The apron, the hardest part. - The apron, the edge of the apron, yes. - So he's on a stomach, dazed as fuck. - Audience going nuts for Snake by the way. - Chong Lee, Chong Lee. - Chong Lee, he knows how to work a crowd. He didn't forget, this gets his band and beat him. Doesn't mean he forgot how to work a crowd. - That's right. - So he stands over Ryu, grabs the headband, pulls it off. - Throws it, dramatic cut of the headband. We get Millie's reaction, we get Kai's reaction. Grabs Ryu by the chin, the back of the head, snap. And I'm like, "Holy fuck, I did not see this coming." - Very rocky, you get Kai throwing the white towel. - No! Millie of course, stun. Fucking Ryu's face is dropped in a pool of blood. There was so much blood. - Yeah people, Ryu dies. We go to the hospital, dead body, just hit fucking sheet over him, Quincy comes in, that guy's fucking dead. - You notice which side of the sheet that Millie picked up? - The feet. That was what she loved about him. - She loved his feet. - And she blames Kai. What has happened if you hadn't forced him into fighting? So Kai, one drunken master deserves another and he gets fucking shit. - He hits the bottle hard, he's going back home and we know from the Stewart scenes earlier, that he's got that fucking food stand. - A little bit of shit. - And the guy's like, "No, man, you're too drunk to be in noodles. I'm cutting you off." - He's like, "Good, 'cause I just want your booze." And he starts fucking going hard on it. Ooh, whoa, whoa, whoa. If it ain't my own master. - I guess I'm lucky. I didn't stick with you, Mr. Death. And-- - The gang start chicken for it's getting in there. - He's picking Kai's nose with a chicken butt. - One guy's grabbing all the bonds and eating them, of course. And so we're gonna see that despite being drunk as fuck, Kai is ready to fuck. - Right. - And he just easily destroys the entire gang. Stewart included. And he just stumbles back home. - Shouting out everywhere as he's stumbling up the stairs. What's up, please! - What, Tom! Please! - So sorry, guys. We're just doing an accurate depiction. - Watching the movie. - Yeah, we all know how Griff do, when I try to do anything, I'm terrible. He is actually doing a better job. - I'm destroying my throat for your entertainment, so yeah. - It's not even Cobra Kai. - Next Cobra Commander. - Cobra Commander. - Next AM, he's still drunk. He's a stumbling the streets, drunk as fuck. What he does here is fantastic. He's stumbling the streets, car pulls up. - A Rolls-Royce pulls up, Griff. - People, Rolls-Royce, which means something to Murray. I can see it in his eyes. - It means something to everybody. It's like a $100,000 car. - Oh, is it? - Yeah. - Back then. - It's right, like Ford? - Ford ornament? - It does have a hood ornament. - Beautiful. - Yeah. - Does it have fucking cheap little ducks on those? - You know, Griff, God in the apple comes to us in a Rolls-Royce. - Murray! - You, 'til relating to something I care about. - God would drive a Rolls-Royce. That's how important these cars are. - Fuck. How sexy is your soul, Murray? - Very sexy. So, Susie, it's Susie. She's a rich bitch now. She's wearing some fine threads. - She's got the fucking-- - She ain't wearing Gucci, Robox. - No, no. - It's your Gucci. - No, straight Gucci. - She's got the Gucci on the Gucci. - She's got Gucci, Gucci. She's got the fucking little fucking Jackie O'NASA's hat with the fucking, like-- - Now, this is where time gets weird, because there's two years happens between Rio dying and the final fight. - Yeah. - Is this a year later? - Who knows? - Is he been drunk for a year? - As far as I know, this is the next morning. - I don't know. - It's been three days since Susie left him. - I don't know. - I mean, it shows up. - I mean, it shows up. - It shows you how bad as Chung Lee is, he takes two years to train for their fucking fault. - Dude, it's a fine line between a guy's-- - Or is it every two years, like the Olympics, like every two years, like every four years? - All it could be. - You just shed it? - All it is. I like to tell you, it's a fine line between a guy standing on the edge of a river, looking like a piece of shit and a guy fishing. - Yeah. - So, Kai pistains on his fucking pants, looking like shit. - He's gonna rub it in. - Yeah, he tells a magic trick, where he's got his hand to his mouth. He pulls away, he's got a cigarette in his mouth. What did the fucking cigarette come from? - Ah, so glad I divorced you. Now I reach. Look at my clothes, look at my car. My man's got a dick that won't quit. - Won't work 'cause he's an old man. - Well, she's reflaring it. - But, Kai no sells it. He couldn't care less. He just, good for you, stumbles off. - I mean, I don't even know if he's no sell yet. He is just fucking obliterated out of his mind. He's just like, yeah, paper? - Kai? Okay. And she's like, he don't fight like you do. And he's just walking away. I'm gonna divorce you. - Oh, she's, I'm glad I divorced you. - Oh man. - So, as he turns a corner, Stu and the Jeep boys. - It was, I don't know, Stu was there, but for some reason Mr. Clean was driving at this point. Not Mr. Clean, I'm so sorry. Bald had, Bald guy was driving. And they see him. He sees nothing because he's seeing double of everything. - Double vision. ♪ And double vision ♪ - Maybe a little bit more than that. - Is that better than Harry Nilsen? - I, yeah, no, barely. But yeah, I probably, I probably was the other that listen to Foreigner than Harry Nilsen. - I listen to that Foreigner album so many times. ♪ Jukebox hero with stars in his eyes ♪ - But can you guess why he got into Foreigner? - 'Cause he liked Foreigners. Because of Aquatic, the Foreigner album. - Oh, good, yeah, I remember it. - That was the start of that. - So, at insult to injury, they run into him barely. They barely graze him. - It's the goofiest fucking scene ever. - They don't want to kill him. - Yeah, they want to Nancy Kerrigan. - Yeah, Nancy Kerrigan. - They want to Nancy Kerrigan. - Happened in Detroit, the Joe Lewis arena. - That's right, it did. - No longer here anymore. - I love you, Joe Lewis. - And yeah, they fuck his knee up. So now he can't even fight. If he wants to get revenge, 'cause we don't even know anymore. - That's all right. - Got a giant gas, he's back at home. He's literally spitting booze on his knee. - To clean it out, everybody. - And then we get a character like we're supposed to know that it just pops up. - This had to be the most offensive character for you because he's a dad, he's bald, he's got awful glasses. - Danny Pack. - Hurry! - He's basically-- - He's obviously one of those like the sex tourists. It's coming to Asia, that's had sex with children. He had that vibe coming off. - No, you're right about that. He definitely was. Have you never done two asians at the same time, buddy? - You do two 10 year olds, it's technically a 20 year old. He's a sex tourist, he's a spilt girl. - Guys, he's spilt, that's all we're trying to say. We're not endorsing this. - It's like when Jim Cornett says you fucked two fives, it's back they fucking intense. He's like, you know, the 10 year olds in 20. - I wonder if we ever could interview somebody who has fucked two fives, he'd be like, is it like fucking one 10? - I don't think so. - I don't know. - Jack, apparently he gets history with Kaikou and Jack. (grunting) - Jack somehow ends up sending like Jack from him. - Apparently Jack, when he's not fucking underage children, he is representative of the World Championship three fighting associates. - He's Dana White's left hand ball grabber and so he's like, well, you know, this kid, Lee Tung Lee Snake, he did kill your little student there and you could still fight technically and we can thought about maybe putting a match in bringing him-- - It might just make Jim versus the Cobra Kai Jim. - Oh yeah, the two Jims, it'll make a fuck boat of money. Like, have you ever imagined a fuck boat full of 10 year olds? Combine all their ages and I'm fucking a, I'm a Gilf lover now. - Ah, I'm just fucking with you, you suck guy. - Spits on him, shit's on his floor, get out of here. No, I'm not gonna get you water. - Cut two, cemetery. We see Millie at Rio's grave. - Millie's all dressed up. She's coming there with the flowers, the brightest yellow flowers to give Rio. - Beautiful, but dazzled, denim jacket. - His flower. - She sees manager there. He's also there, she sees flowers, beautiful flowers and she's like, did you bring these? - She says, you brought him the most beautiful bouquet that they make mine look like donkey shit. - No. - No, I didn't bring those. - Kai brought these. He just here a moment ago. - You missed him. - You missed him. - He didn't even want me. - That piece of shit! They got my fucking boyfriend killed, him. And then, manager has to break it down for her. - Look, man, well, man. You may not understand it, but where you looked up to him, it was like his lost father reborn in his life. - See, this is where I got confused. I had to ask Griff. I was like, wait a minute. - Is he? - Wait, wait, wait. Is Kai his father? 'Cause he was, the broken English was fucking with me. - Yeah. - No, I think you're right. It's like he's a father figure. - It is very weird to go through your youth without a father figure, you know? You wanna ask? - I know for his end. - Yeah, I know, we both do. It's like, you wanna ask your dad about, you wanna like, with your dad about all these things. We're just so lucky that me and Murray, we were never fucking sheep. We were always just like, I'm doing my own fucking thing. I'm wearing a quarter of every goddamn day, you know? And Murray's just getting a goddamn mesh net up there. Like, we just never broke stride. We're lucky though, we're lucky. - We're in our own ways, let it insult us. But we really did it. - I'm not to say I'm into this whole fucking Christian fashionist version of like the nuclear family, but it is good to have a dad in your life. Fuck it. - It helps, unless, well, I mean, we know people who would write better if their father wasn't in their lives. So, you know, I'm not gonna say anything. - That's a good point too. - No, it depends. - Yeah, it does. But anyway, yes, he breaks it down. This guy, Kai, was like the father figure that he needed in his life. - Yeah. And so, we see the two of them actually having a nice calm prayer. - It comes down. - Yep. Kai's still drunk as fuck. - Stumbling around, it's nighttime. He sees a tall staircase and he's just like, oh god. - He's literally at the bottom of stairs. - Yeah, he's like, I'll climb Everest in a minute here. I gotta get my wits together. And then we see a silhouette forming at the top of the stairs, and it's Millie. And she shouts down to Kai. - Is this really you? Are you my man? - She actually spoke good English. - Oh, you're right. - Excuse me, she spoke English well. I scolded it all the way. - You did the grip, yeah, yeah. Our audience would have told me about that. But yeah, she shouts down to a man, she's telling him. Just like, look, man, get your shit together. You were my man's father figure. And he wouldn't want to see you this way. I don't give a shit. I still blame you. But I want to see you be better. Melania Trump said that, be better. - Yeah, and it worked. Because he crushes that beer bottle in his hand. Somehow, bloodies and knuckles crushing it in his hand. - Yeah, so it is pulling me, crushes it. His knuckles start bleeding, for some reason. - Next morning, back to training. He's doing it all. Fucking got the fucking metal sandals on. Jack is there helping him do the splits? - He's just like, yeah, I'm here to help. And he says, eating, I don't know where he got these Hokies from. They shipped them in. Maybe about a whole briefcase back. - Maybe that's why he's there. Besides him, second children, besides to Makai, he's there to open a Hogi restaurant. - That could be interesting. - First Hogi and Hong Kong Hogi's. - Hong Kong Hogi? - Like Hong Kong food. - Hong Kong Hogi's gonna fill your tummy up. - We already trademarked it by the time you're here he is. We have trademarked it. Merman Productions owns the rice in Hong Kong Hogi. - Because we'll add one more sandwich shop to the world. That's what we really need. One more sandwich shop. - Damn it, there's so many fucking sandwich shops. It's hard, even I'm food incompetent and I can make a sandwich for fuck's sake. It's two pieces of bread and some shit in the middle. - But it's like some kind of marinated meats and pickled peppers, you know, all that kind of shit. You've got the time, you've got the patience. - Pickled your pepper. So, Jack, yeah, he's eating that Hogi. And we see, but I'm like, I'm liking what I'm seeing. 'Cause I'm like, he's outside, nature. - This is exactly, we never get to see the reverse here. He is training himself this same way he trained Ryu. That is beautiful. That is something, I don't think we've ever seen in one of our fucking stupid movies. - Cut back, what is Chong Lee up to? Why, he's training all right. - Science, nerd! You're gonna fucking lose. - Treadmill, full fuck, he's got the fucking Chuck Norris. What's the Chuck Norris thing? - Oh, the, oh shit, I can't remember it either. - Leatherman, 2000. - Die master, it's all technology. - He's watching Denise Austin tapes. What the fuck? - So, I'm thrown off, because immediately go, he has no chance, 'cause he's not in nature. That's where you get your power. - This is why it's like, it's blood sport with a little bit of fucking Rocky 4 mixed in. You've got the spouses telling their man they can't do it. You've got the training montages, dueling in nature and science. - Go back to fourth, nature, science, nature. - This is the moment I was telling you about though. - I totally miss this scene. - You missed this part, one of Kai's training maneuvers, is Jack is over him with a butcher knife. They've got the chop block in front of him. He's putting his knife and pulling it back as Jack is trying to cut him apparently. I don't know what that teach is, but whatever. - Then, we get a super, super long scene of Kai in a steel mill. We're seeing molten metal, he's shit. He's gonna dip his hands in molten steel and bring them out and make metal gloves or something like that. - At the beginning of the movie, we saw the guy for the Kumate, you know, the trials. He bobbed for charcoal in molten lava. I thought he was gonna toughen his face by doing that. 'Cause he does absorb a lot of blows later on. - Oh, there's like a little like cart that I can see, they carry the steel in. And he's just letting it pound his stomach, abs. - Which we did see him work on the abs with Ryu too. So, this is part of this. - And abs are bleeding, the fucking shirt shredded, but he's like, oh, he's taking 'em. Meanwhile, what's Chung Lee doing? He's doing a presser. - This was one of the greatest bolo scenes I've ever seen. - Bolo chilling in a tanked-up is his grace on it. - Oh my god. - Miraged shades. - I'm working on it. - To be a babe on each side. - He's got five babes lined up. - And they're asking him, what's gonna happen? Are you nervous about the next fight? What happened with that radio character? - I didn't kill a guy. I am a good man. I sent him a card. Back to Kai, running up a hill. He's playing that fucking Kate Bush song. You see snakes, just chilling in a pool, swimming. Babes are drying them off. Dude, he gets out of the water. - I gotta give it the bolo. 87. This chick that comes out to dry them off. - This is 89. - 89, excuse me, I'm so, thank you. - Or 88, I don't fucking know. - Yeah, either way. - I don't know how long Kai is training, how long he was drunk. - I don't know. - Let's get boy. - He's got a real flair about this training. Kamikaze is everywhere. This girl comes out, she's got that fucking huge head of curly hair. - Love it. - We're both loving this. But she also went ass hanging out of her little swimsuit. - Yeah, for an Asian woman, she had decent ass. - And that's where I think that bolo actually introduced the world to, you know, a thicker lady. - And this is the problem, Griff. I've felt it myself. Ass weakens you. - Yes. - It steals your chi. Just looking at a good ass will steal your chi. - It will. - Let alone getting up all up in it. - It absolutely will. - So I'm worried for fucking Chong Lee. - What are we doing with this movie? We're worried for Chong Lee. We're telling the people what we're telegraphing that Kai's gonna win already. - Right. For sure, 'cause this woman is dabbing him. A second woman comes over to help dab him. He puts on his aviators and there's multiple women. There's five women dabbing him now. There's a woman dropping grapes into his mouth from a high height. It's like, wow. - Kai, on the top of that mountain that he climbed, doing his katas. Why, there's like a rock that's a sweating water and he's like licking it. - Yeah, this is like a scene out of a fucking Jardarowski movie at this point. It's like, what the fuck is he doing? And that's why you know like, boy doesn't know what he's going up against at all. - And then we see the calendar. All the days checked off. The 11th is two days away. Yeah, they're gonna have the final fight on our birthday, Griff. - Three, 11, 89. - We're gonna get down, down. I don't know the rest of that song. - All right, we got, now we're at the beginning of this fucking story. We're back at the fucking, we're seeing the fight with fucking Raja fighting Chong Lee. - And of course, we saw that he got the boot print to the chest, so we're seeing Snake finish him off with nothing, just fucking leg drops and tosses him over, kicks him in the nuts, side kick, spits in his face, still missing that patch of hair. - All right. - Now we're doing the big build up for the big man. - Backstage, we see Chong Lee kneeling down over some bottles and he's got it sigh and he's just slowly breaking him off. - He's surrounded by people in the audience and he's just like, no, no, he's their backstage and they're doing that. - He's barely backstage. - Do you see Kai getting ready? - You see him through a leg, like a sea of legs. I'm serious, man. It's fucked up. - Crashing it up. All right, time for the fight. We're cutting to it, we're getting right to it. - Even though he's the champion, Snake's the first man out. - Yeah, well, sometimes you want that, you want to intimidate your opponent. - Oh, okay. 'Cause he comes out to a huge fanfare. - He does the fucking blood sport move, we're playing the air drums. - Yep. - And then he rips out a fucking, a scream that would make Howard Dean jetteteer. - Whoa! - And we're like, holy shit, maybe we were wrong. Maybe he is, he's just ready for this fucking fight. - That's right. - And then in the crowd, John Lee, John Lee, John Lee. And then he just stops them. And then Kai comes out. Did you notice Kai is wearing the hobo pants that Kyle Reese had on in Terminator? He's wearing, I mean, I guess he wanted to remember the past year where he came from. So he's wearing piss stained hobo pants. - Dude, I am glad you brought that up. There was so many details, guys. This is why we complain about modern movies. We just watch beekeeper, so we can say this very altruistically. - Even Stuart, our buddy Stuart, not the character Stuart, hates the beekeeper. And that guy can find something positive to say about almost everything. - Since he has an eye behind the scenes unlike us, you know, we've never directed anything, we've never written anything. Oh, well, commercials we've done. But Stuart obviously has a better eye for it. And he's like, this movie is so fucking bland and boring. And that is where we cut the difference. We look at this movie, and we're like, there's so much behind every outfit, every costume. The towel ladies that Bolo has, I'm like, there's stories behind that without saying much. He's wearing those fucking awful pants. And you're just like, he's remembering where he came from. - Right. And speaking of remembering where you came from, Chong Lee pulls out the magical headband. And he goes, he fakes that, goes to put it on his head and like, nope. Puts it around his waist. - Loosely. - Loosely. - Do you remember how we did it in Bloodsport? - I do not. - Thigh. - Almost. - He did, he concrete it. - Yeah. - A little dentist concrete move. - That's right, he did it right around the thigh. - 'Cause he loves his thick thighs. - Yeah, and that's where he's gonna kill you. He's gonna give you a thigh kick. - Yeah, he does like the knees, so. - So we're like, oh my God, the ultimate disrespect to Kai. - But this is old school, how Kai comes in too. Like old school wrestling. The fans are on him and they're shoving Kai around. They're like, go get fucked by Bolo, bitch. - We see the crowd, we see Susie. That woman at the beginning, it's Susie with Mr. Cunningham. - That's his ex wife, yeah. She's just there to see her man get the fuck beat out of him. - Her ex man. - Ex man. - Fuckin' Millie's there, she's watching as well. We see Kai walk out, everyone's a clown in on them, they don't believe in fuckin' Kai. You're old news, Kai, we're all about Chong Lee. And then fuckin' Millie sees the fuckin' Ryu's headband as a belt. - We went into a loop there. - And she is like that mother fucker. I hope Kai kills this guy. - Yup. - Now for the fight. - All right, Kai foaming at the mouth. He's so ready. - He does that later. - He does that later. - Oh, okay. - Literally. Chong Lee is moving in fast. He's laying a bunch of knee, he puts him in the Muay Thai clench, he's hitting knees, he's punching Kai. Kai is doing a rocky. He's eating everything that fuckin' Chong Lee has given him. And the audience loves it. They love that blood, they love that blood fight. - Yeah, and of course, we saw this in Bloodsport too. They love the safe bet. And as a gambler, this is, of course you do love the safe bet. So the audience is goin' crazy for Snake, cuts them off again, and he's like looking over at Kai, who's starting to pull himself up again. And I might've even gone too far with this. Is this something in between here? - It's just fighting. - It's just fighting. So he's standing over Kai. - Chong Lee's dominating. - Yeah, yeah. - So he's fiddling with that belt, standing over Kai, like come on, get up here. - But I will say, he's taking Kai seriously and then he's not drunk this time. - Oh no, he did not drink this time. That's a good point. - In fact, he, and he also was setting up something for later on 'cause in case he needed to use it, which he does. - Right, well we already talked about this. - 'Cause the audience points out Chong Lee is wearing sleeveless gloves. - Which he never runs. - Did he kill Stewart and take his sleeveless gloves for a trophy? - Oh my god, this movie has more depth to within. Anything I care about him to be keeping already. Oh my god, good question. And so where Kai manages to get back up, only get fucking silly again. He's foaming at the mouth. This is the part I jumped in. And just take him blow, after blow, after blow, and he's knocked down to the ground again. And that's when Kai's on the ground and he's going into a cause of daydreams and he sees Millie telling him, "Is this really how you want it to go?" She's got the normal voice, I'm so sorry. Oh man, it's so long. So long. - We're in the home stretch. - She gets the encouragement out there. And of course, that's what gets Kai fucking ready. And you know what, he stands up and he fights the fuck back. - Doesn't he look at Chong Lee and see like double like, isn't there some scene where like-- - I didn't know. - It was in some, one of the fights that happens. I don't know if it's this one. Yeah, he gets up and he knocks fucking Chong Lee down. Right near the edge, the edge he wanted to be knocked down. - That's right. So Kai's getting his comeuppance. He's going to the crowd and like, "Yeah, let's get it going from me." And he's thinking that, you know, Snake really needs a minute 'cause that blow was hard. But no, Snake's working his knuckles into that corner. He's got no honey. He's got no fucking glue as we saw again in Kickboxer. He just said it's a pair of sleeveless gloves. - Yep, dry ass gloves. - Maybe Stuart's greasiness got on those gloves. - Maybe. - Because he just grinds them into the glass, making them adhere. You think it's to adhere to be going into his skin, but maybe he's that much of a badass. - Right. So he gets back up and Kai starts just pummeling the shit out of Snake again, but we're like, wait, Snake's got to sneak up his sleeve. And so after he's take a blow out the blow, he finally blocks one pro wrestling style, and Kai's blown away by it. He's like, you stop that? And then the nut comes across his face and digs in. - So, I mean, so what? I mean, it would hurt. Yeah, it would make you bleed, but I don't think it would make a punch anymore devastating. I mean, I don't know. - So Kai gets fucked up by this, but he's got million in his head now. - Somehow all the glass must have went into Kai's face because he gets punched again, and he's not bleeding anywhere else on the side. - It turns into a Rocky movie. They are just exploding on each other back and forth round house to the fucking noggin, and they're still standing. Just-- - No selling like motherfuckers. - No selling like motherfuckers. And then finally Kai hits Snake with a double round house. Then tries to go for the movie taught Ryu, the fucking flying Conchiro skull crusher. And he's got Chung Lee down, but he remembered what he scolded Ryu about. He do not fight for revenge. - That's right. - And this is nothing like Bloodsport, which is the exact same thing happened, where he shows Chung Lee mercy. - That's right. - He was standing over his back, pulled his head back, could have snapped it. - And he's like, I'm gonna, you're gonna have to live with that choice you made of having a snake tattoo on your forehead. - That's right. - And so he walks out, he gets that respectful clap from the audience. - Reclaims the headband. - Grabs it. Susie is like dripping wet. - That's right. She's looking over like, oh my God. This woman had terrible English, you know, pronunciation and everything. We don't blame her. Second language. But her facials were perfect, 'cause she's looking over that man like, oh fuck. So we hear that classic, oh suck your dick! She's really trying to get back into bed with him. - And she's, and 'cause she said that, she's gonna be going working at Kroger again, because her husband ain't putting up with that shit. - No, he's not. - Even Jack after just sodomizing a 12 year old shed the tear. - That's right. - He has no mercy for this kid, he fucking destroyed their life, but he's like, yeah. - It would be in Jack's world to be like, I respect this man, it could easily kick my ass. But this defenseless girl that I just fuck, yeah. - We don't know if it was a girl, I don't know what Jack said, though. - Oh, okay, 12 year old. - Cut the credits, but we get much like the Marvel movies. I think this has inspired the Marvel movies. - Well, they did it during the credits. Marvel's like, here's 5,000 hours of credits, and then one second scene. - We just see Kai ready to leave Hong Kong? What the fuck? - Suzy wants him back, please, please, you hurt me. - I will suck your dick. - Millie, who's like working at her job at a boutique, sees him, he's got the fucking bag, he's got the little hobo bundle. - That's right. - Walks off into the sunset. - That's right, guys. That's how Griffiths in July ends. We're walking off in the sunset with our bindle. - You know, Griff, I teased you all month. I hate you for making me watch Super Mario Brothers. - Yeah, I know, I hated it too. - Everybody, I want you to give Griff his flowers. - Thank you, please. - Because he gave us variety. - Bro, right. - We didn't do the same old same old. We didn't do this martial arts movies. You know, now you know how hard it is. - It's so fucking hard. It's also, what's really hard is to keep your focus, because as I started looking for movies, I was like, this could be good, this could be good, this could be good, but at the same time, you want to be able to just tease it out a little bit. Like, is this actually something we'd have fun with? That was the hard part. - Right. So, round of applause for Griff. - Thank you. Give me the steering wheel back, I'm taking over. Back to daddy, where it belongs. Griff, we just did a kiss, a tournament movie, but we're gonna do, we did an underground tournament, we're gonna do a above ground tournament. - We're going above board. - In the spirit of the Olympics, you said this one was above board. - In the, no, it wasn't. In the spirit of international competition, we're going to do a movie where it's Korea, I'm still shady about which Korea it is. This is Korea in the nose. I'm guessing it's North Korea. - Oh, okay. - But it just says Korea in the summary I read. - Okay. - Versus America in a little Taekwondo competition. We're talking about the movie Best of the Best, Starring. We're actually gonna see Eric Roberts in a baby face role, Griff. Rocking the sweetest nang-chang ponytail you've ever seen this side of Seagal. So, tune in for Best of the Best next week 'cause you're gonna get the best of the best. That's me and Griff. And as you've all wanted to hear for the past month, keep it warm. [BLANK_AUDIO]
Great villains and Bolo Yeung, nuff said