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There's even a feature that detects car crashes and will connect your young drivers to 9-1-1 dispatch and alerts emergency contacts if needed. With a chores feature that lets you reward kids for honoring their responsibilities around the house, you can help kids get into their fall routine more easily than ever. I just did it. I let my child buy the new EA College Sports 25 and he crushes me in it, so maybe that wasn't a good idea for me. No matter which features make the most sense for your household, Greenlight is easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and for families to navigate life together. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to greenlight.com/drinkinbros to try Greenlight for free, greenlight.com/drinkinbros. Welcome to Drinkinbros, presented by GoSped.com. Sit back, relax, and grab a fucking Drinkin. Yeah, welcome to Drinkinbros, kids! Tuesday show here in the old studio. You never know who's going to pop by. Sometimes your friends will suggest somebody and say, "This guy's fucking cool." We'll find out. We'll find out today. Tell everybody your name. Adam Von Rothfelder. So I wasn't going to attempt that. I wasn't going to attempt that last time because he doesn't like Jews. Oh shit. Yeah, I hate him. We actually got you here. Hey, get him. Grab the Palestinian flag, guys. I've got all the fucking Palestinian flags back there. Bring those up here. I've been wiping my ass with them. I'll have you, okay. Well, I mean, it's not a real country. So why the fuck would I? I'll give it a sniff. Say that last time one more time. Rothfelder. Is it Von Rothfelder? Oh my gosh. At no point where you're like, "I want to change this." So my shit idea. Yeah, you were in LA for a while. Usually they just go to something else. Or they'll change it because it's too fucking boring. You know, my first fucking manager tried to change my name to Ross Vegas. Oh, wow. Yeah, because he was a gambler. Because Patterson just seems so boring. Okay. And he goes, "Ross Vegas is awesome." And I was like, and I go, "What about your name? Is it different?" He just kind of being a dick. And he goes, "Oh yeah, I changed my name." You know what his name was? And you'll know exactly who he changed it after. His name was Rod Seagull. Oh. And I go, "Oh, did you change it because of Stephen?" And he goes, "You're goddamn right I did." And he goes, "So I go to people think you're the brother, or like a cousin, or something like that." And he goes, "Yeah." And I never say anything. It just really fucking helps. Who am I? You should consider rebranding. Who am I thinking of? Somebody changed their name to something. But the original name was way better. I can't remember who it is. We've talked along with the show. It's not Tom Cruise. He was-- He was-- Cally Culkin? Because he just named himself twice. He's now McCully Culkin something. Like he-- Is there two? Is there two Colkins? Like McCully Culkin, McCully Culkin. Is there a double Colkin stitch? Bob, look that up. Fact check that. I've never heard it. He literally just did that. If it's McCulkin's squared, I'd be okay with that. No, I think it's-- I think if McCully Culkin is in quotation to the middle. Yes. So his middle names are McCully and Culkin. Yes. Be great if it's true. Is it true, Bob? What do we got? Looking for-- I'm looking at celebrities who changed their name to try and find the one that was better beforehand. Well, check the one I'm asking for, McCully Culkin Culkin. Because that's the big deal, Bob. That's all I Instagram. It does a lot. If you're giving yourself two last names and jamming them in there, I think that should be talked about and maybe celebrated. John Legend. His original name is? Le John. No, it's Intolerable Faggot. Oh, that's right. That's right. It is. You know he's doing the D&C? Do you feel him wins? Yeah, we just got started here today. Sure did. We just got started here today. Hey, I have my own ideas about John Legend and Chrissy Teigen and their pieces of the situation. Oh, God. I fucking hate them. What's your pedophile, man? I mean, I don't know about that. I don't know. You know, there's no, again, no facts about that kind of stuff. However, the inappropriate humor that I have seen from Teigen in on Twitter would suggest that-- She blocks me. There's just like a weird line that she has crossed about children verbally, that she has said about like naked babies or like naked kids and like weird shit like that where it, you know, really, I mean, let's put it this way. John Legend is not anywhere on my Spotify list for his association to her. I can't hold me. I can't hold-- I can't take him seriously because he looks like that cartoon character. Arthur. That's identical. Oh, that's funny. Can you pull up a side-by-side of John Legend and Arthur really quickly? He's singing at the DNC, by the way. Of course, yeah. Yeah. If you listen really carefully, you can hear him gargling cum right before it starts. Do you think they're going to use the slave song? Oh, I think I was singing technique. No, it's just cum. It's just cum. Oh, God. Yeah, see me. Are they going to use the slave song, you think? Glory. Glory. The one he won the Oscar for. Oh, somebody else has also thought this. Oh, yeah. This is-- Oh, yeah. So, yes. And then it's like the clenched fist one as well. I mean, he doesn't look like a real-- and he hasn't even been the sexiest man alive for like our two or three separate years? Not sure. In People magazine? Not sure. I don't know. That dad bodice. But my buddy from high school used to fuck her. So, she was in my office. John Legend? No, Chrissy Teigen. Is it true that she's got two-- Used to fuck John Legend? I mean, look at him. Well-- He's had a man inside it. It's thinking of my own buddy. I'm like, maybe. Maybe it didn't fucking miss us. He had two assholes. Is that rumor true? Here's the-- I don't know if I've ever seen her assholes. But she was just their normal fitness model, and that was it. Like-- She was. She wasn't all rigged up. She didn't have, you know, all the shit or anything else. Can we find a before picture? She was just a normal Asian. She was probably quite a bit hotter back then. She was-- Look, I think she's still attractive now. She was hot back then. It's getting a little puffy, but yeah, it's that-- Well, that can go away with time. Yeah, she's way prettier here than she is now. That's exactly what she looks like. Like, that's way better than whatever the fuck's going on now. Yeah, you know, if she's hot on the outside, she's definitely still dead on the inside. Oh, epic time. Like that girl from the boys that got all the plastic surgery. Starlight, yeah. Starlight fucked her face up. Did she really? I mean, I've seen it. Have you seen any of the episodes? No. Everybody keeps tagging me. Show it side by side of her. I know I should. This one actually makes me-- Morey arty. Morey arty. Yeah, this one makes me feel bad because-- Sure, that's the status epic. No, no. It's a bad plastic surgery, you can see. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. That looks like a spadily different person. Maybe it'll settle at some point. Maybe she waited too long to-- Oh, is that really her? Yeah. Damn, that's sad. And the reason the left is a little more pronounced than it is, but it's still-- Yeah, it's settled a little bit, but it's still bad. That's a Michael Jackson that's taken out. And the Michael Jackson knows. Yeah, she got cheek fat taken out. Like, why would you do that? Women, collagen in your face, don't fuck with it. As a matter of fact, you should be supplementing collagen as early in your life as possible. Totally. Yeah, that's why we put a bunch of collagen in our coffee. Yeah. Oh, fucking. You see how he wedges today? I was just saying. I was just saying. She's speaking of coffee. Speaking of coffee, I own a coffee company. No, no, no, no. In our coffee, I wasn't saying in our coffee company. Tell everybody the name of your coffee. Strong coffee company. Is there any left? Fucking name. No, we sold out of everything. Okay, good. So go to strongcoffeewith.com. Yeah. Strongcoffeecompany.com. And then buy all the stuffs just so he can see all the sales he doesn't. Go to contact us and send them a complaint that they don't have anything. And then it's sold out. Sold out. Oof. That is my worst fear, by the way. I'm almost positive that's what put me in the fucking hospitals. Worrying about if we would have enough cans. You were in the hospital. Yeah. AIDS. AIDS. Oh shit. HIV, yeah. So what happened was you started company. Yeah. Then you started having gay sex unprotected with dudes. And then you get AIDS. Is that how that works? Yeah, that's exactly how that works. Science. It's in the Bible. You can see how magic Johnson got it. Oh yeah, well true. But then he had like enough money to like buy himself out. Oh yeah, if you're rich enough, you can buy your way out. Yeah. What is it? Yeah, yeah. What is it? 185,000 cash, Bob? You just injected directly into your veins? Yes. Yeah, you got to liquefy it. But yeah. Well, that's why they got rid of Dr. Giuseppe, right? It was like, it was like, it was like, well, I think it was because he was Italian. And he was curious, he was curing all that stuff. You know that African doctor? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He was great. Yeah. How do you respect me? I don't know. We had that problem in black rifle too, though. Almost. When that meme. Almost. So getting AIDS at black rifle? Yeah. I mean, that was, that's, that's still a problem. That's still a rampet somewhere there. And February. Even more recently to buy from the start copy. February of 2017, Evan made a meme. And it was Starbucks said they were going to hire 10,000 immigrants. And Evan, you can probably look it up, Bob. It's a black rifle immigrant meme. Just look that up. So before they went public? Yeah. This is where we exist. We did it with the show. Yeah, it went viral because they just photoshopped a bunch of fucking ISIS dudes. No, that's not it. It'll be ISIS people. You'll know what it is. They just photoshopped a bunch of ISIS dudes. It says Starbucks is going to blah, blah, blah. And then there it is. Yeah. Yup, throw that up. And then this went viral on social media. It's all over Fox and shit. And everything got sold out immediately. And it was a scramble. And we launched that off the podcast. Like we shut down Mark here. Cause all the founders are. I mean, that is a great, that is a great marketing. Our co-hosts and our, and our best friends. So it got to a certain point where they were like, you can't be on this disgusting show anymore. Rightfully so, what Dan said, faggot in the first, what? 90 seconds? That wasn't, that wasn't me. Oh, it wasn't? Okay. No. See, a couple of things you need to know. One, I didn't say that. To Kamala Harris was never the borders are. This is how we're doing it. I'm going to, I'm going to issue next week. I'll issue a correction on this episode. You should. Just like Axios did, right? Yeah. And we can just wipe our whole social media. And, and then go from there. We'll leave it up there. All the stuff about her being borders are, the stuff about her saying that paper ballots are the only secure way to do elections. That's all still the one, the one where she donated to the Minnesota fucking Freedom Fund. Yeah. It's all literally still on her Twitter. No, I know that. So we can leave it all up. All we have to do is say that we didn't do it. Just say we didn't do it. That's the standard now. And for you, all you have to do is say you're not sold out of coffee. Yeah. People. Like hey, just send them empty cups in the mail. Yeah. And then say drink it. When they call it, get married. When they call it, you already drink it. No, when they, yes, you did. Yeah, just gas like the fuck out of it. Well, just yeah. You got your box. What are you talking about? I think we should start a company called Gaslight, where we just gaslight the customer always. We just send them light in a gas can, and it's nothing. It's nothing, and it's just that's the gaslight. There's one photon inside that can. It's not my problem. You can't fucking see it. Maybe this company's not for you, but we don't do refunds. Yeah. We also don't do retards. Yeah. So fuck off. Yeah. So you take your retard home, right? Pack your fucking retards back. All right. We don't do that here. Well, we'll send them a complimentary bag, and it just says retard on the side. Like you can carry all your stuff in this from now on. By the way, we're offering a fucking 20% discount on helmets. Yes, we are. Soft helmets. Yup. Coming all sizes and for kids. You know, if we threw a free mouth guard in, we could probably increase LTV or-- No matter how old your retard is, we got a helmet for him. No, yeah. And a bit. Chomp on down on this bit. But selling out of a store like this is pretty much a death knell for a company. You know that, right? I mean, it's definitely-- Sucks. You know it sucks. You lose your traction. That's the problem. You lose traction. That's 100% it, and traction is really hard to get. So-- Good book, by the way, traction. If you're in the marketing world, you should-- or if you have a small business, you should read the book, "Traction." How to properly put people in the right positions for success, and, yeah, it's a different way of organizing a company. It's a great book. Yeah, the other companies have been very successful with sold out, like, you know, like Nutanec. You know, it keeps like selling out-- Yeah, Chris. Saying about Chris Williams? Yeah. Yeah, Chris Wilkes or Wilkes. Yeah, Williams Williams. Oh, it's-- OK. Well, he's the buddy of ours. Got it. He's been on the show a few times. And then there's, you know, like, prime. When they first launched, they sold out. Or, you know, like, a lot of these companies-- that's happened to them. It'll be interesting to see how we can recover people, you know, who maybe didn't have, like, the best first experience with us. I think, like, the big thing is, is recognizing the fact that we're a small family company. We're not somebody who's gone out and raised, you know, millions to tens of millions of dollars. We don't have, you know, 15 employees. We were selling a certain amount of coffee per month. We had enough for three months worth, which, you know, our runtime on product is, like, eight weeks. And when we were mentioned on that podcast, our sales-- Which podcast was that, by the way? Um, which podcast was that? Uh, Huberman. OK. Yeah, what happens to your buddies here? What episode was that? Dr. Gabriel Lyon, I can't find it. Uh, Dr. O'Dogg, Dr. Gabriel Lyon was on there. She was on our show. Yeah, she's been on the show. She was, she was not happy that I said, your liver king was still doing steroids. Oh, yeah. She goes, no, he's not. No, he's definitely not. I was like, uh, yeah, no, he definitely is. He's still on steroids. He's definitely on something. He might be taking more right now as a matter of fact. Yeah, he probably was off long enough and realized that he had to choose between deadlifting and banging his wife and was like, Oh, God. Is that what it is? You know, like if-- I mean, he's a tiny man. He's like five, seven. Yeah, he's a little guy. He is. There's a tiny man inside of him. Um, what? So the, when you, when you, when you do, you know, take testosterone and things like that, you're obviously gonna shut down natural hormone production. And sadly, the hormone production never will get to where it was previously to doing that. No, there are like people who, you know, say you've had like massive head trauma or you've gotten like massively, you know, like, I don't think we ever should have accosted Lance Armstrong for taking, uh, a stairway. The guy only had one fucking testicle. Like, he was literally producing less testosterone and yet was just wanting to compete at the highest level. So I mean, like-- You know it took him down though, right? Yeah, it's fucking buddies. One, no, it was him. It was his own arrogance and it was one fucking picture. So like all they, they knew and everything was like, Hey dude, we respect the cancer and you're a uniballer and all that other shit, you know, like it's fine. Just don't go back. Like your dog live on this and whatever. And he was like, you know what, fuck you. Bob, if you can pull up that picture, it's him lying on a couch with all of his eight jerseys from, from any one, the yellow jersey at the Tour de France. And he said, fuck you, I'm coming back or fuck you to the, uh, the drug testing agency. This was it. And they were like, awesome man. That's the last fucking straw. Oh wow. We're coming after you. Yeah. And then he launched a comeback, which is shutting it done, got back into it. And, uh, and then they tore it all down. I think I was speaking of Atlas, the guy that got busted a couple of years after he got busted. The guy who shrugged. Yeah. You know, I thought his name was something Atlas. He, some, uh, one of his own teammates kind of ratted his ass out. Oh, all of them. There was, uh, remember Royd Landis, which is one of the funnest niggans he's forced? Landis, not at Landis. Floyd Landis. Yeah. Yeah, um, he got pissed off about it. There was a bunch of them. Yeah. And they were like, well, he was doing it. And it was like, yeah. Well, he claims there was like a tube he made in his backyard that he was laying in that was changing his oxygen levels, because he was sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber. One of the greatest docs of all time, because he was meeting people, and I, I respect his fucking steroid game, by the way. Uh, pop up that pick one more time. Oh, yeah. Respect his steroid game. This motherfucker, I don't know if you watched the doc or read the book or that stuff. Oh, dude. Yeah. He was meeting people in back alleys of fucking London, all these different cities all over Europe, injecting behind a dumpster, putting him in a, in a coat can, and then disposing of it later, like he would drive it on the bike somewhere else, so it didn't exist where it was. Yeah, when he had a fridge, and he had to store a certain amount of urine, like every couple of days to like, then, I mean, take the test. It was a crazy system. Imagine carrying your buddy's piss on you for like three days. Because you don't know when they're going to test you. That's a fucking homie right there. Carry this piss on you. I've got plenty. So I'm like, do you really? Like, on you? No. Oh, no, no. I think that's the most important thing in life. I really do. What's up? So when Mac Miller died, I told my wife the place was cleaned out. I'm dark as fuck, and I'll go and look at their last Instagram post or Twitter post. I just want to know what they were thinking. Totally. Mac Miller definitely wanted to die that night, looking at his stories. It was just four stories in a row of his own record, playing what I think was his best song off of that in particular album. Four stories in a row, late at night. It looked like a fucking drug down, and you were like, oh shit. This is definitely where somebody's going to die in, right? And when the police got there, wiped clean. So whoever his assistant was, or his best friend, knew, one, he's fucking dead, obviously. And then two, let's get rid of all the fucking drugs. Let's get rid of everything that's in there. So he doesn't look like a shit bag to the rest of the world. I mean, it didn't help with the criminal prosecution of the guy that sold an infetinal. Well, but Mac didn't do that. Luckily, three other people died in the same dealer, including a person we know. So they eventually got the guy. What, I'm tired of a Super Bowl party. Well, after. Well, an hour later, she was dead. My brother passed from a drug overdose. And what was it, what? No, it was before that. It was honestly, so he was, he was clean. He just got clean. And I don't know exactly what kind of cocktail he took, but he was on something from the hospital. And he was saying at my mom's house and. Like methadone or some shit or some awesome. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then my mom's friend brought pain pills into the house, lied to my mom, said that they weren't in her purse. But she didn't want to like go up to her car to go grab him. And my brother being the drug dog. He is sniffed him out, took him. And one of the hardest things, like I can't listen to Kid Rock anymore. Because like when I went to my CD player that he had, that he borrowed from me to like put in my parents basement. Because he was like going through a divorce and stuff. He was listening to that song. Everybody knows my name, like that. Yeah, yeah. All right. So are you, were you pissed about that or that it was Kid Rock? Both. I mean, it was like. That's what I want to get over. Like damn, like, you know, Kid Rock, like there's a lot of other great songs you could listen to. Like the doors or something, you know. Fucking Elvis or something. I saw it in Hendrix. But at the same time, it's interesting how people almost choose an ending, you know, like knowing it's an ending where previously before that, I thought it was an accident. But then when I saw that song I repeat, I'm like, maybe it wasn't an accident, you know, because like it seems like a song that you would totally fucking want to kill yourself to. Like when you're going through a divorce and like you're looking at a picture on the wall, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you have one? Do you have a death song? Oh, what, a death song? We'll get dark here, though. I have one. You know, let me hear yours. I, man, I've got, I've got several death songs and one of them is super obscure. It's called the intro by XX. And it's like, are we on fucking Patreon today? Play it, dude. Play it. I don't give a shit. Is the fucking word brat just pop up on screen? We're not doing this Kamala Harris shit. They take over Spotify too. No, it's just, we're playing fucking Vod Dutch. Oh, they try. You know, she's adopted that whole campaign now. Fucking A. Yeah, you made us play this last week. You were like, what's for that? I know it sucks. Like, and I actually like her. That, that album sucks. But, uh, yeah, got to play this. I think I'm going to listen to that. You'll know this as soon as it kicks in. I need some volume, though. Yeah, thought you a great death song. So right now I'm getting ready to strangle, babe. I'm, I'm boiling up, dude. I'm starting with my arms first. Because I've always had great biceps. And it's natural. God, give me. Everybody's got one God-given thing in this earth, dude. Mine was biceps, right? So I start there, and then I start tapping up, dude. Like an old school wrestle, right? Then the rest of my body, I start coding down. And I'm covered at toe, and I'm talking old school 1988. Panama, Jack, fucking dark oil. You know? What? Like Speedo. They weren't a Speedo. I'm wearing nothing. No, no, no. Because I'm about to get on top of a chair. That's not true. And then I tie the bells around my neck to strangle bass. You are wearing something. It's those little-- you know those things you put on your thumb to flip through stuff quicker? Oh, condoms? No, no, no. For your toes. At a post office. Yeah. You know the rubber thumbs? Oh, yeah, yeah. They get all of his toes. Yeah, all my toes. So I get a grip just enough of the action. Because the oil is going to get slick at some point. You don't want to slip too early. Yeah. Right. You want to decide. You want to get lots of broken arm. Yep. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And then you know the fucked up thing? And this is super true. God's dark today. M83, there's a song by M83 called The Intro as well. And I was like, man, I think I'm going to go intro back to back on two different songs. I mean, it kind of sounds like an outro. So there is The Outro. They have a song called The Outro. And I would die to that too. That's number three on my list. Is that like if you fail? Is that like you fail to die? Yeah, because I don't want to hear the same song on repeat. I think that would make me stop killing myself. I definitely want to death. So you don't want like a playlist? Yeah. I want a death playlist. Yeah. Where I'm just like, have you figured out your hands? Because this feels like I'm coming out of the womb for the first time. And now I'm seeing my whole life. I'm seeing my mom. I'm seeing my dad. I'm seeing me hit the game winning home run. All these tropes have you ever got behind me? Or is that just like a fantasy? What's up? The game of heading home on. Done that or something? Yeah. Done all these things, dude. I'm a perfect. I'm a great comedian. Yeah. I've done a lot of rad shit. Fucking rad shit. But for whatever reason, this song kind of just it spins back memories in like a movie or something. And I was like, all right. This can set the mood for me off and myself after a sweet, strangle-basin session. I think I'm going out to the Lion King soundtrack. No. Yeah. You know why? I feel like, I feel like, you know, just going out to like Timon and Pumbaa. Like, Akuna. Matata. Akuna. Akuna. Akuna. Don't worry. It'd be happy as a weird reason to kill yourself. That's that hearing that song would make me kill myself. Probably would. Yeah. But that's what I'm saying. I don't want to die to that though. I don't want to die to that. And I want I want people to have a nice death playlist that they could run to. Maybe jog to later on after I'm dead. I have some great memories of Lion King, you know, as a kid. So I mean, I'm just going to go with that one. There's like-- I don't like that at all. The whole like, the whole like Jafar and Mike. You're a fitness guy. The whole Jafar and thing when they-- What's on your playlist? Jafar. No, we'll never get behind anything you're saying right now. Fine. What's your fucking playlist? So, honestly, I mean, Mac Miller. Mike. Mike Stud. Who's Mike Stud? He was a pitcher for Duke. And-- It starts baseball pitcher? Yeah, really good. OK. And left the game to rap. And he's kind of gone from like frat rap to like this kind of vibe-ier thing he had the hot. This dude right here play-- what's his top song? Life got crazy. No, this is probably his biggest song though. He should recognize us. Yeah, you know him? Yeah, I mean, this was college. College for you. Oh, right. Yeah, I was fucking elementary. I was like, "I'll never get the day, but I'm gonna be OK." Missed my family on a piece, but fuck yeah. I can't leave the land. I've been needing nannies. All right, I know this is-- There's a bunch of these guys. My son's listening to NP right now. OK. So it's a bunch of white guys who are rabbit-slowed with a cadence here. I come on your face. Yeah. Yeah. It's just-- Yeah. There's a lot of-- It's fucking music. A lot of guys like that. It's a lot of fucking and smoking weed music, which are two things I love doing. Yeah. Yeah. So the Allen's one. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a whole genre of that white-- Yeah, I would say that Mike is-- That Kingston, here I go. Mike's about as white as I get. Everything else is, you know. African-American? Frank Ocean. Like, Ocean and all of that. He's gay. I know he looks gay, yeah. But he-- Frank Ocean will make you-- But he does-- He's got some hits, man. Givey-ons, he got some hits. Like, I like-- I like chiller music. I got to-- you know, I'm a fast-paced dude. I don't need fast-paced shit. Like, I'm the guy who-- I'm the guy who, like, listened to a chill song while I'm working out. Really? Yeah, over, like, a high beat song. I think, like, the whole thing was, for me, was, like, learning how to control my heart rate a little bit. Because when I got into fighting, I would, like, blow my load too fast. So I, like, kind of pace myself down, where it was always, like, DMX. You know, I was, like, I don't just love when the dick will pick a hole. Yeah. And, like, it also helps, it helps with your body's process of burning cortisol more quickly, right? So the calmer, like, in high-stress situations with your cortisol spikes, if your heart rate stays low, then you burn cortisol faster, right? Yeah, you can offload quickly. So for me, it's about not getting the heart rate higher or even, like, changing the mental, kind of, like, frequency. Because I don't believe that intensity gets us there. It's intention. And that was, like, the reason that people like Jo Kim Noah and other people would hire me after injuries. Because they intensity got them there. And then it was, like, I need a person who's super intention-based. And I was the guy who would show them some, like, a little ballet mixed with, like, bodybuilding, mixed with, like, pilates and, like, all these different modalities that I, you know, sought tutelage, you know, for, so that I could get it to a certain level of my own expertise instead of just prescribing to squat, deadlift, weight lift, diet, you know, and, like, these, like, basics that every other person is saying, which is, like, why NBC put me on a TV show? They're, like, we never met a dude like this. I was at auditions at NBC. And-- And the show is called Strong? It's called Strong. And-- Was that what the coffee was named after? No. Actually, I owned a coffee company before. And within three months of launching the company, my dad died and my daughter was born. And I owned a gym at the time. And I was, like, something's got to give. I just got casted by Versace to, like, model these two campaigns. And this TV show, I'm, like, I can't do all this. And I shut down the coffee company initially that I started in 2013. And I relaunched it at the end of 2018. And the-- There's me in, like, Gigi Hadid right there. I'm holding the ice bag on my face because she actually punched me in the face of it in the scene. Pop that upon screen there. Did you get to fuck her? We got to kiss, which I called my wife. And I was, like, just so you know me. Oh, you married the time? Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. But, like, she-- We legitimately-- Sorry about asking that. We legitimately had to put an ice bag on my face because they wanted the scene to look so real when she punched me that I actually let her throw a left hook at my face at my temple. And I just, like, moved my head with it as quick as I could. Just, like, Trump. Yeah. Exactly. I was, like, dodging bullets up here. Um, but, yeah, the, uh, he is the one. Neil, the maintenance. Yeah, sure is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, intention, being intentional, uh, and having, like, a goal, no matter what you're doing, whether it's physical fitness or mental health or whatever is really important. Like, when I work out, I watch, uh, combat footage, right? Because the thing that drives me is fucking shit up. You know what I mean? Like, seriously, I see dudes in gun fights and I'm like, I need to be there in that gun fight. Because I just imagine that's my friend that needs my help. And I fucking lose my shit during the workout. That's like your pump music? Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I got so into intention that, like, I started doing, you know, like, like, uh, tightrope walking and a lot of balanced stuff. Because I feel like it's the one thing that we actually all lack is balance. So it's like the one thing that I always try to preach is that, like, the physical act of it actually can create, like, the mental act of it, which is why I, in some way, don't listen to music. That's too far to one side in the sense of, like, you know, it's just too much going on. I want, like, a beat, a little pick me up. You know, and a melody that I can find in the middle that, like, I'm walking on. You know, and that's, like, kind of how I do my life. You know, like, that's how I am, like, my kid's greatest dad. You know, in the sense of, like, they fucking love me. Like, they, you know, I'm their nutrition coach for their dance team. I go to all the recitals. You know, like, I, like, I love being around them. And, but I also have to work a lot. You know, and I have to, like, build this thing. And, you know, keeping that balance, I think, is, like, the one thing that, you know, I, I aim for all the time. And, and it shows within, like, our physical practice, my physical practice, you know, of what it is. Bob, Bob, who, what would you kill yourself to? Do I get it back to the dance? Yeah, I'm very curious about this question. This is a really interesting question. It is. I'm curious about it. And, and I've, I've already shared, Bob. Um, um, probably, oh, gosh. Let me look at the name of the song because I can hear the lyrics in my head. Um, probably Glee's rendition. Jesus fucking Christ, God damn it, dude. God fucking damn it. Is this worse than Lion King? Uh, yeah, it's very worse, yeah. Damn. Damn it, man. I was going for the worse. I was going for the cringe one, but he beat me, I guess. No, he did. Oh, don't rain on my parade. Yeah. Now, the barber's Streisand version is the most popular one. But I kind of grew up with it on Glee. So, you know, don't tell me not to stop. I simply gotta. And then I blow my brains out. I hope you, I hope you die in a car crash on the way home. Yeah, I've never heard that song sung aloud by a man. Just burn alive, Paul Walker. Holy shit, dude. That's terrible. Delco. Yeah, Delco. You got a death mix? Yeah, sure. Uh, tattoo running through my head. Okay. What's that? Oh, yeah. Go play it. Run into my head, run into my head, run into my head, run into my head. No, that's raindrops. Keep falling on my head. Excuse me. Play the song. This is the beauty of Patreon today. We were like, fuck it. Yeah, play the song. Because now I want it. Now I got to hear it. Take your time. We're going to live forever. We sure are. It's a goddamn ads on Spotify. I don't want to hear a Bob. Don't worry about it. We'll ask about Gigi Hadid's pussy. So you're Jewish, right? She's Pro-Palestine. Well, looking at that photo, isn't it weird now? So funny enough, we always thought we were. Hang on, this is Bob's. Don't rain on my parade. Yeah, that's what you want to hear, right? Just sitting put up. Life's candy and the sun's a ball. Oh, god. This does make you want to kill yourself. I'm so happy. Shut up, dude. Shut up, dude. Now I'm fully on the side of Palestine now. You know what's weird? Hang on, I'm sorry to interrupt you. No, no, it's okay. I just do it already. Back to what Dan said. Of driving out of here and getting killed. I hope this is wafting out the windows. A full blast. I can hear it from the front door. Your car's upside down. The wheels are still spinning, and that's the sound I hear as you burn alive. And we've got to pull you out of there to that, dude. I think Dan and I will die laughing. I would definitely laugh. Holy shit. Yeah, I'd be like, all right. He went out the way he wanted to do. Yeah, don't go play. Play your son. I'm going to hear don't go son. That's really fucking funny, man. Holy shit. What the fuck? Hey, the other thing? I haven't done that. If why you shock me? We'll get to it after this one. I got one. Um, but uh... Oh, tattoo the band. Oh shit. I remember this song. Goddamn. What a snooze. Now I like this. You should have just said that. I like this. I like that song. Yeah. A minute. This was on a playlist of mine back in the day for sure. For sure. I don't know if you're being serious, but it'd be a fun one to die too, for sure. Eh, why not? Well, it's a weird... It's a weird vowel. We would want to see it. Like, it's got to be a song that you like. But not one that's going to convince you not to kill yourself. Right? Adam, we've got some sponsors that put this shit wagging on the air. First and foremost, GoSped.com/drinkingbroze. It's still 50% off. God bless it. God bless America. GoSped is the only company giving you 50% off right now. It feels like half off. Every item in their entire store, all their products are made in the good old U.S. of a mattress, sheets, pillows, adjustable bases, weighted blankets, mattresses for RVs, massage toppers, the new Venus Williams collection. It's all 50% off. The economy sucks. Inflation's still high. Biden's still in office. GoSped has your back. Both figuratively and literally literally. I couldn't even say that last part out. It doesn't fucking stroked out like Biden on it. I can't believe they're giving these deals. Hop on it. 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Uh, I popped it open one night when we were in Vegas with my wife. And, uh, and it rocks, friend. Last but not least, hardafcellcer.com. New website, hiring a ton of new employees. Hitting these streets out there pretty hard. Uh, the store locator is not updated yet on the website. So we've added a ton of locations. So they're working on that now. Should be up and Adam here in the next couple days. Right now, I'll read you off the list. We're live in Texas. Uh, all the HEBs will be open next week. Every single HEB in the state of Texas will have hardafcellcer. Every single total one in the state. Is, uh, open as well. Got 40-plus Albertsons opening up. Uh, Main Street. We've got a ton of fucking grocery chains that are opening up in Texas, man. Really starting to move some weights out here. Pick up a 12-pack in Rage. Alabama. We're in all the pigly-wigglies out there. Those Kroger's. Out in Huntsville, Alabama. Buy those guys out. Trying to get into Kroger nationally. That really helps. Kroger's in Houston, Texas, too, man. Head on down there and help us out. Buy him out of Kroger. Tell him to get some more. It really helps. Total wines in Georgia. Uh, pigly-wigglies down there. All the total wines down in Florida. Total wine in Wilmington, North Carolina. All the brunches out there. The brew-throughs and the outer banks are stocked up as well. Tennessee's got you covered. Frugal, McDougall and Nashville. I'll be there on Friday for a little bit. The total wines there in Nashville and Knoxville. Smoky Mountain. Axe house. There's a bunch of places in Tennessee, Ohio. Columbus is rocking. Dublin's rocking out there. Urban Myers Pine House in Dublin, Ohio. It's got you covered. Pine House down in Short North. California is the best pizza in the biz, in my opinion, in Columbus. If you're lucky enough to get a reservation there, they're serving them down there. Johnny's Tavern's standard. All 14 and 0 liquors on campus. That Shell Station on 17th and Summit. I didn't forget about you. You know, I actually got arrested there back in the day. True story. Underage. Fucking guy came in with a goddamn flam on, with a food bar hat on. And arrested me that piece of shit. And now on August 29th, we will be served at the University of Illinois, the Fighting Align Eye. Stadium up there in Champaign, Illinois. Anthony, Holloway, and I will be there handing out some free merch, some free hats. And then the week after that will be University of Michigan at the Brown Jug. Separate flavors too for every school. So you've got the maize and blueberries up there at University of Michigan, and then you've got the orange. Tastes like Fanta down there. 16 ounce cans are serving in the stadium in Illinois. Let's fucking go. And the variety packs will be in stores as well. All of that opens in the next two weeks. And we got a new shipper as well. Shipping right to your house from a two bucks a can. It's now only $48 plus shipping, depending upon where you live. Pretty fucking cheap. We've been able to cut that down as well with some more employees. Thanks for all your help in investing in weafunder.com/hardafseltzer. Going through the next round of the SEC audits. Make sure everything's on the up and up. And then we'll open it up to you guys as well. They're taking reservations lightly now. Don't tell anybody. I said so, but that'll be up and at them as well. Support us and support the show by buying a 12 pack a hard AF seltzer today. And that depends on where you're at. That's why my first thoughts are, let's say, nut shell by Allison Chains, right? Kind of a classic sad song. Oh, pop that on. Um, but it's such a good song. I don't think I could kill myself if it was playing. You know what I mean? You want to hear it again, baby. Yeah, because I have listened to this song on repeat before it never made me want to die. I don't know this song. This is a great song. Yeah, it's one of the best songs I've ever written. Yeah, I think. You're allowed to put the headphones out if you want. Thank you. I looked like the cord was short. Oh, no. I don't know. I was on a shortcut. Oh, it's funny. The weight. Excellent. And then the other one. Well, this is a good one. Yeah, this is a good one. I wouldn't mind dying to this one. Yeah, but it's too good of a sigh. I don't want to die to this. And the next one that pops in my head immediately is Hurt, the Johnny Cash. Oh, yeah. That's a great one. That's a great song. I don't know that it's actually a sad song, though. I mean, it's pretty sad. He died very soon after he did that one. Sure, he did. But I think that convinced him to die. It was time. Well, he was a thousand years old. And what convinced him to die is that his wife had died. But have you seen the music video for that? Yes. So the construction. Oh, I'm black and white. The construction of it is incredible. So it starts with just solitary Johnny Cash sitting at a chair, right? And a rocking chair, I believe. Strum his guitar. And immediately turns to memories of his past, but it's actual footage, right? Yep. So it's our past. He's showing us our past. And because when we see Johnny, we remember good times and bad times and all the shit. We remember the struggles he went through, all that bullshit, but also the joy that the music brought you over time. And what I see is that a man at the end of his life, looking back on and appreciating all the shit that he got to experience. That's what I see when I see her. Yeah. And I also, to me, I saw, and I don't know if you felt the same way, it felt like he knew he was going to die? Oh, yeah, he definitely did. Because June Carter had died, right? Yes, she died before. Like, only when you're married that long, you die within a year of the person. So when I watch that music video, even today, when I watch that music video, I think it makes me ask myself, am I living a birth that's actually worth dying for? Am I going to be 85 years old or 90 at some point, sharpen my guitar in a rocket chair, thinking like, all right, I did it pretty well, right? So I don't think Hurt is an intrinsically negative or sad song. Something in the way by Nirvana, though, that's the one I'll probably kill myself to. Oh, boy, that one's-- Like the melody and the fact that Kurt Cobain killed himself as well. Yeah, wow. Hard to not listen to Kurt Cobain without thinking about suicide. Yeah, well, that's Nirvana. What about grunge rock? Party in the USA by Molly Cyrus. Nah, that kind of makes me want to-- Kick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes me-- I want that on Epstein Island. I want that on Epstein Island, you know. Hey, put that song on. I want to feel young and flirty. Biggie Smalls remix of Party in the USA. 30, flirty and mighty shit. No, no. I can't do it. It's funny at a concert or something like that, but I don't want to kill myself to it. What was your new one? You said your new one? You know, if I would have given a little second longer thought, I would say almost anything by Ryan Bingham. Oh, fuck. That's weird. He's great. Were you here earlier for Russ Special Revolution? No. Oh, shit. We talked about Ryan Bingham for 10 minutes. I'm a huge fan. And I think-- Same. I do. Do you think South Side of Heaven or even the Wild Things are? Yeah. Put on the Wild Things. South Side of Heaven is fucking awesome. The Wild Things are, when you listen to the song, it's literally about him closing his eyes and then waking up and being part of, like, the spirits. And he's like the-- He's the wolf. Yeah, it's like a native thing. In the-- Ryan Bingham's the guy from Yellowstone. Yeah, I know. Yeah, he's great. He's a hassy. Yeah. He's got married to hassy. She's all right. She's hilarious. She's hilarious. She's hot. Yeah, of course she's-- Home hefty is so good. Of course, yeah. She's really funny. It's so funny. I watch that series twice in a row, because it's just so fucking funny. It's great. Yeah, we love Lemmy. It's great. We love her. He's great. Yeah, but she's on the serious side. The acting is OK. The comedy side, to Home hefty, she's fucking funny. She's great. Look, she's great all around, but Ryan Bingham is actually super fucking talented. Of course, amazing picker. I went-- A what? Picker? Like how he does the Travis. That's a real close friend to the N word. I don't do that. I don't fucking do that here, bro. P-I-C-K-E-R. I don't even risk it. Travis Picking? Yeah. Still don't risk that either. Got it. No, but with Ryan Bingham, this is a true story. We-- my wife and I had watched Yellowstone. She was like, oh, that guy's fucking hot or whatever. And when we went to see Chris Stapleton, he opened up for Chris Stapleton. Oh, cool. And I told her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Willie Nelson was on the bill, too. So it was rocked. Wow. It was like two years ago, a year and a half ago, whatever it was. But when we went, it was probably 118 degrees. Of course it was. And it's one of those outdoor places in Texas. Thanks again, Texas. Yeah, yeah. For your fucking bullshit. And if we were hot as fuck in the shade, as soon as Ryan Bingham came on the stage, Jesse's like, ready to go to the front row? Ready to go, my wife. Yeah, yeah. You know, I was just like, OK, all right. So I go up there, and I don't really know his music. And we get up there, and I got lost in his whole bullshit. And I would have fucked him, too. Yeah. Like, god damn, he's talented. But what you're saying is like, that song in particular seems like a good transition into the next life, whatever that happens to be. Yes. That's what-- so it-- Yes. That's what I liked about the song. I listen to it, and that's kind of like where I see it. You know, I started thinking about death kind of early, and I've kind of evolved into the idea of like, that death is not like the bad thing, you know, because I've dealt with it for so long. That when I hear-- when I heard that song, I was like, that's such a beautiful thought that when I die, I'll be this wild thing in nature, in like the world, and maybe come back as a wolf. How young were you, said you dealt with it young? Well, I mean shit, like, my grandpa died on my 21st birthday, and my brother died when I was 22 in my bedroom. OK. And my dad died when I was 29. You know what got me to start thinking about it was, I lost a friend of mine, a close friend in seventh grade. And back then, they would-- you could call into the radio station and announce the death and then request a song. Yeah. And so her mom had requested a song, and it was goodbye, Norma Jean, by Elton John. Oh, that's a good song. And so the next year, another friend died. The same thing, they called it in the radio station. So that one song always stuck with that one person over time, and that's all you think about. So going back to what you said about your brother with Kid Rock. Yeah, dude. And then you see him, you know, out shooting up butt, butt light cans and shit. And I'm like, ah, motherfucker. And I guess it's a better song. I guess it-- I guess it matters. I guess it also matters like what your intention from moving on is, right? Like, for example, if you were Muslim, maybe Ariana Grande. Yeah. Like a particular song? Or just any-- No, the reason. Oh, oh, yeah. To have the 72 virgins. No, no, no, no. Because-- But they didn't say they were all girls. Because they're suicide bombers. And somebody blew up her concert in Manchester. Well, that too. But don't-- That's what I was saying. Isn't Ariana the exact person you think of like, oh, that's the virgin I get when I go there? I get 72 of them. Not if you're smart. And by the way-- Have you ever seen Jeff Dunham? And he goes-- he's got that ac bar, the 10,000 terrorists. And he's like, oh, what about your 10,000 virgins? And he's like, yeah, they didn't say they were all girls. Oh, it's true. Oh, fuck. Yeah, they didn't say they were all human beings either. True. Which to be frank, based on the Afghans and Iraqis, I've met, that's not going to be a problem. Yeah, tons of goats up there there. Goats, sheep, anything with a hole. Yeah. I'm not making it up. Like, I know. I know you're not making it up. Donkeys, whatever. Donkeys, whatever. But on tracks, you get a loan. You get a loan there in those mountains. Sure do. Is that what happens? Yeah, I mean, how long were you in over there for? I was never in the mountains of Afghanistan. But in Iraq, about a year and a half. So-- but yeah, they-- and Afghanistan's a little bit different. If you're a-- if you're like an orphan boy in the village, you're getting fucked on Thursdays. That's just how that works. There's a name for it. I can't remember the name of the practice. Thirsty Thursdays. Oh, shit. [LAUGHTER] Not a Thirsty. Thirsty Thursdays last night. This is the episode, isn't it? My God, dude. Thirsty Thursdays. Holy shit. What's the name? Wait, do you remember? It's called Batchibazi, or Batchibazi. B-A-C-H-A-B-A-Z-I. Oh, this is a real thing. Oh, yeah. And it's-- it literally translate in Persian to boy play. What? Yeah, there are a bunch of fucking pedophiles. That's why we should have dropped a nuke on that place. God, damn it, dude. Just like, wake up the next day. You know how you wake up sometime in your team made a big trade? Yeah. Or something happening. You're like, oh, shit. This kind of changes. Hey, brave's got a Jorge Solaire. Yeah. Exactly. My whole day is going to be different now, because of this event. Yeah. You just flipped a switch and Afghanistan is gone. Fuck yeah, dude. It'd be great. Gone. A ran next. No one would miss it. No. Not one person to be fair. People would do hair one, Mike, because a lot of hair ones are growing there. It does carry the death penalty under Taliban law. Uh, yeah, that is true. OK, so-- That's the one thing that Taliban got right. Why an orphan because they have no parents to-- Yeah, but it's not always an orphan. Sometimes the warlords will buy the kids from the parents. Oh, yeah. And the parents sell the kids? Well, it's like you can-- if you've got six, seven kids, right? Because they still operate in the same way that we did back in the 17th century. You have eight kids, because four of them are going to die. Volume shooters. Yeah. All right. So if you have seven or eight kids, yeah, and you have to sell one of them to feed the rest, that's how they-- That I see. That's what I see. That's how they think. Yikes. Yeah. I mean, look at that. The little boy that they had doing all that running that-- Force gun. Yeah. I was running. They were running. That Indian boy that they basically sold to that-- Slumdog Millionaire. To that. I mean, kind of like the Slumdog Millionaire of running coaches. You know, like basically sold their son, who was like this prodigy runnery. It was like a-- Well, that happens everywhere, though. It was like an eight-year-old boy who could run like a sub six mile. Yeah. You know, and it was like this prodigy that they then-- You know, they sold him, and it was like the kid was just devastated. I mean, you're like-- How did he do? But how did he do? Well, you can't keep him-- I think he failed in the sense of like he-- I think the stress of being away and like not in the right situation. And you can't keep him around the other boys either, because if he keeps running away and he's going to be faster than you, he sets a bad example. Sure does. You don't want that happening. That's why they had to kill Spartacus. Yep. Boom. He can't-- There was-- That was the second serve, our third serve, I wore, right? They slaughtered him big time just to make sure there wasn't a slave rebellion again. Yeah. Because, god forbid, you're better than the rest. And then whoopsies, you know? Speaking of Spartacus, they're coming up with a gladiator, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me about it. Literally, they put water in the arena. Well, that's true. That did happen, which is fucking crazy. It's not very often, but it did happen. This gladiator is all true, though. And that's what Dan loves about it. No, not one fucking player. This is what Dan loves about it, because the authenticity of it is historically accurate. At no point in his life to come to step into a fucking gladiatorial ring, that never happened. He was, I believe, strangled to death by a wrestler. That sounds probably right, but it was probably a gay thing. Commodus. No, I think the Praetorian Guard would just, like, sent the wrestler into choke him out. Yeah, they eventually, the Praetorian Guard assassinated him, essentially. But yeah, he-- So I shouldn't watch gladiator, too. It's all fake? No, it'll be great. It's fucking Denzel. Watch him. Come on. It's all real, yeah. Denzel. It'll be a great-- Who cares if it's real? Ah, OK. The first one wasn't real. The first one wasn't real. Who cares? It was still a great movie. It's one of the best movies of all time. Denzel makes the best, sad, I'm drunk, sad lonely face. Oh, yeah. Man on fire is the best guy in the movie of all time. It's one of the best actors of all time. I mean, it's phenomenal. It's anytime I watch any movie with him. I'm like, how is this not the best movie ever made? You know, like, how is equal-- Even gladiator, the second that trailer pops up on screen, and it was him, I was like, oh, man. You got my money. That's awesome. I'll go watch a motherfucker in anything. Yeah. Have you seen Fences? No, I don't do plays that are made into movies. It's just not fun because it all takes place in like one house and that type of shit. Oh, really? I don't get down on that. I'm not going to go see Wicked. Like, Bob will be their opening night for Wicked, and I'm not going to go see him. He might be in it. I'll tell you what. He's going to do a movie. I'm going to-- I will defy gravity to get to Wicked opening night. I don't know what that means. Why would you have to defy gravity? Do you like fly somewhere? Bob, you can walk up to that box office and get them tickets opening night. No one-- no, they do. Deadpool just set the record this weekend, so-- Well, it's like number-- it's not the record, but like third, right? I think. Well, I'll rate it our film. Oh, rated our film. That's right. Another one of all time. But the number three biggest box office. Ever. Yeah, it's none. I'm still-- I'm still needing to clarify why you would need to defy gravity to go three miles down the road to Wicked. So, Wicked. Define gravity is like the main song of Wicked. Oh, see, I wouldn't say. Oh, he's smarter than us. I like women, so I wouldn't know that. He's smarter than us. No, Bob was a theater kid. He was a theater kid back in the day. I created the sets, because I was good with the tools. You were a set designer. I was a set designer. Like Harrison Ford. That means he smokes weed. Yeah, exactly. That's really what that means. And I had a brother who did carpentry, so they knew how to do all this stuff. You're James, man. So, you're Jesus and Harrison Ford. Hey, my brother did die at 30-- well, you hear that Jesus came back, 33. So, I mean, kind of close, you know? You know, Jesus came back. He had a nice hair to beard the whole time. Jesus reappeared at 30, and he died at 33. 16 and 33, right? No, we lose track of him after 12, and then he comes back at 30. Why do we lose track of him after 12? Well, all the children that are missing. You've got a lot of right stuff down there in Baca Bazzi. Oh, you're struck down. Oh, man. Catholic said that just to be clear. Yeah. Kind of like Chappelle making you lock up your phones and yonders when you go see him in concert. They were like, hey, put the stone tablet away. We're not keeping record any of this bull. Shit, touch the kid. Gross. That's, uh, that man. Did you guys get to see any of those, uh, kind of like hidden shows that Chappelle was doing out here? Oh, yeah, yeah. We, uh, we took the office for Christmas one year. Oh, that's good. So, um, stubs. It was, uh, COVID. Yeah. Hide of COVID, and, uh, it was Chappelle, Rogan, and Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah. I bet that was awesome to see with, uh, I've never seen Chappelle live. I've seen Rogan and Hinchcliffe, but never Chappelle live, so. Yeah, it depends on what night you catch him on. Oh, yeah. Every now and again, he'll take, like, four grams of mushrooms and just do a show. Oh, and you can co-hear it. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? He'll drink a bottle of Hennessy, and it's like, all right, what are we getting for the next? Oh, man. You know, man. That's incredible. And he used to do way back in the day, too. Like, before he was, like, really, really Chappelle, like, before the show came out, you would go, it was a place called the Laugh Factory, and, uh, him and Dean Cook back in the day would have these competitions, or who could do a longer set. And so I look it up, uh, I think Chappelle one night, it's six and a half hours, and. Was, like, the whoever. She's in a row. So whoever lost, like, how to get plastic surgery, and Dean Cook just kept losing. No, I just don't think they were friends. Um, have you seen Dean Cook's face? Yeah, it's not great. Yeah, well, it's not quite as bad as the age of his fucking longtime girlfriend. Yeah, wait, what? 'Cause that math don't add up, so. Sure doesn't. Sure doesn't. Boy, he has been, uh, people have said that about him for a while, the underage thing. Yeah, it's a little bit of a groom. I used to think that when she was 16, so. I used to travel with Paulie Shore. So I used to be his trainer. Oh boy. So, all right, then maybe you can answer it. Super straight, Paulie Shore. Yeah, well, big time. He was, uh, I mean, never seemed fruity, fruity to me. I think he did a show the other day, where he said he sucked a dude's dick, or somebody sucks his dick, or something like that. Hey, you know, I have had a buddy of mine. I was, I just took GHB. We were like hanging out. This was like 10 years ago. And he tells me as we're taking GHB, he's like, "Oh man, the last time I did GHB, I like sucked my roommate's dick." And I was like, I went for a walk. Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck is this? And you can't walk on GHB? No, well, you can't. I didn't take that much. It looks like a baby deer. But when you hear somebody just be like, "Oh, nonchalant about it," it reminds me of that whole like, uh, Chappelle thing about like fucking a monkey. He's like, "Yeah, no, you can't just like switch back and forth." Like, and be like, "Oh, no, man. I'm gonna hang out and chill with my monkey tonight." You know, it's just, uh, you can't just loosely throw that you just suck the dude's dick when you're, uh, on GHB last time. No, but with you, when you came in his mouth, where you were like, "Oh shit, I shouldn't know him for like, how does that work out?" You know, I, uh, I built a pillow fortress around me. And, uh, and I, like, he like fell asleep about 40 minutes after, and I was like, "Okay, good." You know, I was legitimately, I was nervous. Has a friend ever told you a story that you're like, "Holy shit, if I ever told this in real life," like, that person would be exiled forever? Um, you know, I didn't say his name or anything, so I mean, he's, he's gonna be all right. Um, and I'm sure his girlfriend knows. Like, he, he's an open book. I don't even think he had to be on drugs to tell me that. He just felt like telling me because he's like one of those TMI guys. Sure. You know, I'm like, dude, he's telling me that shit, you know, uh, as we're doing GHB right now, so. Yeah, we've had some people come up and tell us some fucked up shit. Me and Dan, I don't know what you're talking about. It was an episode we just couldn't air. I have, I don't hear it after he dies, but... I have certainly seen and heard some fucked up things with like the clientele I had in LA. Like there were arguably girls that looked on the cusp of maybe too young to be at that person's house, in which that point I would be like, you need to leave. And I'm cleaning this person up off the floor to like try to get them to even like go for a walk on the beach. Yeah. Because they're just so fucked up that I'm worried that they're going to fixate on their own vomit. Because they've already thrown up twice in their bed. You can't, there's a certain point where you're just like, it'll probably happen anyways. Let them know. Yeah, I mean, and some, you know, I would hate to trade somebody's life in a decision like that. But yeah, it's like, uh, you definitely, when he poked my finger, when he poked his finger into my chest, trying to tell me something one day, and I told him not to, and I almost fucking ripped his face off. When he poked my finger again, I realized that cleaning him up ever in the future was his own problem. Oh gosh, that's right. You were in what, strike force, you said? Yeah, well, I fought professionally, and then I got a contract to fight the strike force. And like two weeks later, the UFC bought him out, canceled all the contracts minus like Jake Shields and a couple of guys. I think it was like eight, nine guys, 10 guys, maybe that. And they all got their asses mopped, you know, in the UFC. So it just wasn't good enough. Yeah, yeah, and you know, I don't know if I was good enough. I was good, but I got into it. I got into martial arts, you know, sporadically throughout my life. And then I got into it very heavily right after my brother died. I mean, I literally signed up for one of those things that used to see on ESPN with the guys with the yellow gloves is beating the shit out of each other, the rumbles that no holds. That's what I did. And I won the top man, and I won a tournament. So I won that tournament. And this, this old cop that got like kicked off the force for excessive force, shot a guy in the face that was coming after with a knife, was this like local boxing legend, Horace, the real deal craft. He was, he fought like Dennis Alexio back in the day, like the guy from Bloodsport, the guy that was in the wheelchair. Yeah. That played. Yeah, I got it. Jean van Kline. Oh, oh, different guy. Okay, I'm thinking of our governor here. No. So he, so he, so he, so I took me under his wing and I started fighting and, you know, never, it just kind of like snowballed into it. It wasn't like the plan. You know, like, oh, I'm going to be a fighter. So I always wanted to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, cathartically, it helped me because I, after my brother died, I wasn't sad and I thought something was wrong with me. You know, so I was like, I need to feel something. And I noticed that beating somebody up and getting beat up kind of gave me like a feeling that I thought that I should be feeling with death, you know. And it's one, like, I lost a couple of friends in high school, like suicide and stuff like that. But like it wasn't until my brother died that like death seemed very real. Because like he had three kids and like all this other shit. So when I started fighting, I was like, yo, I said I was going to do this shit. Life is fucking short. Now I'm going to fucking do it because I could die tomorrow. You know, it was just kind of living in a different way. And, and honestly, I really haven't stopped living in that way. Like since, you know, then 20 years ago, 42. Holy shit. Do we have a picture of you fighting there? Oh, you could do like my name with MMA. And it'll pop up. I mean, what was your record? Uh, 13 and two. I got a video. Yep. Oh, we're on a picture on. Fuck it. Yeah, let's show it. So this was my first fight after a comeback after a shoulder separation. So I, my goal was to end it as fast as possible. Well, John, because I wasn't really trusting my shoulder yet. What year was this? Uh, this is 2000. I think 10 is what the video said. 11. Yeah, 2010. Yeah. It looks like you're in Thailand. Um, this is at a nightclub. There's about 4,200 people. You know, fucking way. Yeah. It was like this, like, it was this like nightclub event center in Minnesota that they held the events that. And this guy was a purple belt. Did you jiu-jitsu, Don Duscher? Uh, comes out with Duscher. Oh, and immediately throw a vicious leg kick. Duscher. Oh, really to be clung in. Yeah, he, he did not like what he felt when I hit his leg. And I just schoolboyed him until, you know, and he just taps when I start punching him in the back of the head. Cause he didn't want any. So that was a tune up fight. Okay. Um, which was part of a tournament, uh, a pre tournament tune up and, uh, that leg kick was the one that got him. Yeah, I mean, his whole body went sideways. Buckled after that. Yeah. Uh, the announcer actually talks about how like my teammates were talking to the announcer about how painful my leg kicks are. Um, now this is fun because I think everybody has this dream to actually go and do it, you know? Yeah. And at least you could say you did it. Yeah, it actually got in a real ring somewhere. And the, you know, it didn't have to be UFC. Let's face it. UFC is the, the best of the best. The best of the best. And this just looks like a good old fashioned good time here. Yeah. Just kicking the shit out of somebody, some doughy. Our whole team, our whole team came in here and just mopped floor. I was, that was a 45 second tap out. The next fight was a 15 second knockout. Next one, like it was a 15 second like knock knockout. Like Jake Clark at the time who was like number eighth ranked in Greco wrestling. And his brother was number two in the world. Grab this dude and fucking body slammed him on his head. So hard that the guy was unconscious in less than like 10 seconds. And we were all just like, I got the fight of the night. Then next one was like, I got the fight. It was just like, okay, we just thought it was an awesome night of fight. Is it called brutal? Is that the league was called brutal? That's where like, yeah, there was rocks. Yeah. This fuck. That's fun. Yeah, it was fun. There's actually a great photo of me and like Greg Nelson after that fight. I got like blood all over my face and um. Type in the one with Greg Nelson. Yeah, it would be. It might be a little challenging to see. Or to pop it up from back in the day. Yeah. Yeah, they're Google's too busy censoring Trump right now. So other shit will get caught in the mix. And uh. If you do Adam von Rothfeld or just MMA, it's probably the best one. But yeah, I mean, it was it was an awesome experience. And honestly, like it it allowed me to check that thing off my list. You know, it was when I was a kid, I actually my dream was to like be in WWF. Like and I, you know, I when I got out of you when I got out of MMA, I almost that was like the next move. And I got pretty big. I was like 230 pounds. No shit. And it was like, yo, I'm going to I'm going to do that. And who is your favorite guy? Uh, I honestly was like a big Rey Mysterio dude. Like I love flipping. And like you wanted to have you ever put on the mask? No, I couldn't do Luchador. I was going to say we had we we had it on the set for years. Joel used to wear it to work actually. Like driving down the street. Oh, yeah. Dude, Joel wore it a lot. That's hilarious. Um, yeah, it's that's funny, man. But yeah, so I thought wrestling was something. And then, uh, you know, I real life happened. And all of a sudden fighting was the next best thing. And it gave me an awesome platform because all these guys that I met that were, you know, when I when I moved to L.A. And I got away from like training house moms and like small business owners in Milwaukee. I instantly was snatched up by like the founder of Tom's, you know, shoes and like these like guys that worth a half a billion dollars or more. And they all needed this kind of like alpha male to really get them to snap out of what it was. So just the fact that they knew I could kill somebody. Well, the same way with like Zuckerberg, right? He's doing the exact same thing right now. Exactly. They all needed that from me. You know, where I would look at him like fucking do it. Yeah. And all of a sudden they'd be like, okay, you know, yeah, where like anybody else would have just been, okay, yeah, we could just go for a walk like you want to do. And like it's always what they want to do. So the only way that they're going to get to where they want to be is to do something different. You know, so I was usually that I was that ice pick. Yeah. I'm going away at the block. Our buddy, Ray Cash Care, who is a former Navy SEAL. He does these training courses with like CEOs and people like that who want to, you know, pretend to be a Navy SEAL for like three days and see what it's like and how hard it is to kind of snap out of the day to day monotony or whatever the fuck their life is and where they have to answer to somebody else. Well, and to think that this is hard. Yeah. Right. I think that's like the thing is like people, you know, I was a union electrician for six years. That was fucking hard work. I dug trenches, you know, three feet deep, 180 feet long across the Minnesota twin stadium by hand to put electrical circuits, you know, underneath things. And I hung every single field light, 360 field lights that weighed 60 pounds a piece. That was a seven month job of me sitting outside going through with, you know, Minnesota winners where you only could work outside for 20 minutes at a time. And then you'd have to go inside for 10 minutes and go back out. Like that was my job. So getting in a ring with somebody and punching them in the face, like I swung a hammer all day. This is nothing. You know, so it was when I got to like entrepreneurialism in the sense of selling coffee online. Yeah. It's like the same. This isn't work. Or can you fix this thing in our ceiling? Loy the latter. Yeah, you're way out of code with this one, guys. Don't worry about that. Loy the bird to do it. A shock wire. It's up there for a reason that. And then he was here and didn't fix it. That is a, to me, that's a fucking Darwin apparatus. That's what I call these things, right? You leave something out and if somebody fucking is dumb enough, then they get taken out by it. That's funny. So I was dumb enough to think I could do my own electricity in my house for the first time, not having touch electricity in almost 18 years. And I was swapping out a light switch. And I was like, I don't need to turn off the power. I've done this like a million times. Yeah. I'm just like, fuck on my pinky. Because whoever was the electrician before mismarked the wires. Oh, you thought it was a ground wire you were touching? I thought it was a ground wire and it was not a ground wire. Done that. I was like, holy shit. I was like, that was almost my life. At this age, though, I'm in my early 40s too. He's a 60, 70 years old. I don't know how old he is. That's better. Wait for your age. 33. And your early 40s, I think something switches where it's not an overnight switch either. It's not like when you're 27, you turn 28 and the next day after drinking, you're like, fuck, my body sucks now. Like all of a sudden and your early 40s is different. It's more of a protracted change. It's like you start to haggle with yourself over. Man, is it worth my energy to walk 30 feet over there and turn the power out at the breaker? Or should I just risk it and risk literally getting electrocuted? Yeah. Ah, fuck it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I didn't want to turn off the internet because then the Wi-Fi would go down and then my wife couldn't do customer service. I was like, I'll just fucking leave it on, you know? Like, not the deal. I'm one of those guys where it's like, we're in Texas and I'm just like, hey, does anybody know a Mexican that can do this? Hey, I got a great one. Do you really? Do it, he's great. Yeah, we don't need one. Like everybody needs the one. If we had one in North Carolina, I don't have one here. Amazing. Oh, is your wife? Yeah, my wife's 100% Mexican. No, shit. But I have a-- Like, are we talking clap and flautist or what are we doing here? I mean, she can make great Mexican food. We're actually just down in Mexico. It was awesome having somebody that's just 100% fluent because we were like, we got like the local approach. We were, we went from Cancun to Aila Mujeres, the little island out there. Sure. She met some dude that we now call Uncle George. She went to a jewelry shop there. We went and got some jewelry out at a great place, at a great price. And then he walked us to where we were going and made sure every shop person didn't bother us because they all knew him. And he was like, no, no, no, you know, like, and they just like all left us alone. And then he'd be like, this is the place though that you want to go for, you know, this. Which is rare. Yeah, usually you go to these places and you're a costume. Anybody that's listening, if you're going to Cancun and you think, Aila Mujeres, I'm going to go get these tacos on TripAdvisor. Tacos de Humo, don't. They fucking lie. They're awful tacos. I don't know how they have five stars and 3,000 ratings. Bullshit. Because it's on an island and people spend, it's, it's spent cost fallacy. People spend so much time and effort getting there that they have to say it's good. I was so disappointed. Otherwise they'd feel like an idiot, right? I was so disappointed. And then they tried making me pay cash. And I was like, uh, you're going to figure out a way to take this American Express card because there's no way I'm not getting points on this fucking bullshit. Here's what I'll say about one hundred and six dollars for four trays at tacos. If I call somebody awful, if I call somebody to come out to do like electrical or sheet rock or plumbing work, and it's just some white dudes strolls through the door, I look at him the same way that I would look at. I'm getting ready. The anesthesiologist is about to put me under and then I see like, uh, like a Nicaraguan woman walking to do the surgery. I'm like, no, man, I'm gonna bring me an Indian dude. An Indian dude, a jet like a Chinese or Japanese dude, no whites, no latinx. We separated all by race. Yeah. I had a guy. Everybody's good at different stuff. It's fine, dude. Yep. It's fine to admit that. It sure is the stereotype. He's real a lot of the times. Chinese people are really good at building railroads. Hey, very good. They're the best. Yeah. Yeah, it's an interesting statistic. I've gotten an argument about this with a buddy of mine back home who, you know, was like, no, it was not Chinese, you know, black people built. I was like, no, that's not actually the way it worked. Now historically, it was like 13 to 33 of them was like, it was like such a small number. It was Irish. It was my people. It was Irish and Chinese. Yeah, mostly Irish and Chinese, which, you know, our buddy Ben Bank is his Canadian comedian, very funny guy. He says, do you remember when everything used to work? He doesn't look like a school student. When everything used to work was when it was built by forced labor. Yeah. Kind of an argument for forced labor, isn't it? I mean, let's just have the conversation. I think we should. And present the data from both sides. That's all I'm saying. Dad, we got Pete Buttigieg out there. Yeah. And that's our fucking, the real ones. Maybe my product would be fucking finished if I had forced labor. I mean, you're making it. It's like, if I just grab those like factory workers, and I was like, fucking do this before I like work. You're not going to get them Utah. There's too many whites there. Too many hockey. Anyplace that there's too many. Is that the problem? Yes, dude. Why it's taking so long. They don't want to fucking work hard. And they don't want to do it. I got this guy, if you need a guy, though. You think you want people are going to work in a White House, separating beans and bags? No, bro. I put-- No. I built a tree house in between these two trees for my kids on these really advanced tree house system that I drilled these big pegs into the tree that made this angle thing. Civil war cannon popping out of the middle of the-- I got so far. And I was like, I can't do the rest. I'm not climbing up there like this and that. This guy came out quoting me like 4,500. I met this dude at a grocery store. This Mexican guy came out quoting me 800. I was like, what a deal. Yeah. Here's what I'll tell you about that. And here in central Texas, however, right? You see all the roaming yard crews, I'm sure, right? Of course. They stop by your house with a business card. Only-- here's the game, the gimmick for any of you that may run into this and if you're just so you know. Only one of the members of the crew will speak English. They all speak English, but only one will pretend to speak English, right? They'll quote you a price, they'll do all the work, and then he'll add like a thousand bucks on afterwards. Like, oh, sorry, translation. I thought you meant this. It happened to me three times down the last two years of my new place. Well, that happened in Cancun to us. They definitely played-- Oh, that's always down there. They definitely played that game with us between-- you know, the hotel to like the excursion things and how you can book the excursions at the hotels? But then you get to the excursion, then they charge you more. Oh, yeah. I was like, these motherfuckers. Yeah. I was like-- Because they don't think people will say no, but I will say no. Not only will I say no, but I'll slap-- Whatever the guy has in his hands at the time when I see him, I'll slap that out of his hand. You're already like 230 in here. Like, do I pay the other 100 in this two weeks? I'll burn the money in front of him. Whatever money I was going to pay him, I'll burn it right in front of him. Like, hey, this could have been yours, but you fucking lied. And then you piss on it. Put it out right in front of him. Like, I would have paid more for this. Like, I'm American, dude. Your money doesn't mean shit to me. Right. Like, you're a joke to us. You know that, right? We come down here and the reason we come down here is because it's nice. Obviously, it's beautiful weather and shit, but it's because your currency is bullshit. Your entire culture can't figure it out. That's why we're down here. You don't need to trick-- Well, their governments certainly can't figure it out. I would say they're people. No, they're people. Because their people work so fucking hard. Like, when you see, there's this tapestry that this dude made that I bought. They took this genote tree and it takes 15 days to make this one tapestry. It was him and his four family members, where it's like a 10-year-old kid banging on this bark with this stone. And they're like in stations. At least one of them does something different. And it was incredible seeing how hard they worked on this thing to sell for 189. And it's like, I know I could have haggled them, but I'm like, yo, man. That's what I'm saying. You took 15 days to make this thing that you're willing to sell for 189. Like, I'm going to pay you 180. Yeah, but you still ask them to put on your AMX so you can get points. Yeah, well, you want those travel points, right? I did. I didn't have any pesos. I refused because the currency exchange changes so much. When we landed there, it was one to 1723. But the day we left, it was one to 1883. Yeah. So I would have lost-- I would have lost $X just by doing any conversion. Well, that's what you do here in America. It's called time value of money. Every year, inflation goes up. Your money decreases in value. Yeah. So if you've got-- let's say for round number six, you've got $1,000 in the bank, right? And you just wait a year. And an average good economy year. At a minimum, you're going to see 2 and 1/2% inflation. Probably three. That's the average, is three. That means your money's now worth 3% less, 3%. So $970 now, instead of $1,000. Every year that happens. Every year? Yeah. Now, with a volatile currency, it's even worse. That's what I'm saying. You see, the currency is a fucking joke. You don't need to trick me into spending an extra $100. A $100 doesn't mean shit. Just fucking tell me the goddamn price and I'll show up and pay it. I don't know why they think that there's some kind of disconnect, right? People aren't going on vacation trying to save money. You're going on vacation act like a wild asshole, usually, unless you've got kids. Yeah. But even then, you're just trying to keep them entertained. Yeah. Yeah, my kids definitely wanted to buy weird shit. We did this whole thing about finish a couple books before we go, and I'll give you this much money. Yeah, I'll let you buy that pet lizard. Oh, yeah. That's going to die in two hours. Dude, there was a massive walking through our place. They actually had to get it out a big old-- Like a hula monster or some shit? One of the, like, a kimono dragon. A kimono, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just fucking massive. And people started screaming. And it was just like, you know, like fucking trying to-- They don't want to fucking you. I mean, it's a dinosaur, you know? Yeah, it is. That's what it is. It just doesn't have-- It doesn't live long enough to grow to full size anymore. Those things are amazing, though. Yeah. What's that movie with Marlon Brando back in the day when they're running a ring of eating exotic animals? Freaky Freddy? Yeah, that's what we're on, Dr. Murrow. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a weird one with Val Kilmer in it. I think it was the last movie. Not that one. It was like an '80s movie here. I think, like, I don't know if Matthew Broderick was in it, but I think he may have-- Oh, he was the caretaker? He, like, took-- yeah. He, like, had to get something from, like, somewhere to something else. Yeah. I think he was the caretaker, and then the guy died on him and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was a good movie. Now's the point of the show. We get to the drinking bro of the week, which is someone who has inspired you or helps you become the person you are today. Who'd you like to give the drinking bro of the week to? My wife. OK. She sees the best in me, you know, even when I don't see it in myself. It's, uh, when you're, you know, in the position that we're in to, you know, make the thing happen. Sometimes it can be easy to believe when you're banging your head against a rock that it's not going to move. So somebody just whisper in your ear that you can do it. You know, that's, uh-- Does she say it in Spanish? Yeah, when I tell her to. She's, she's supporting, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, she, uh-- [SINGING] Last night, I-- She's supporting me in just-- we can, right? Yeah, sure does. Yeah. That was the old Obama thing in 2008. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah. She's so pretty. With everything being out of stock last night, and having all-inclusive belly, because I just got back from that trip, I had like hot sweats at like two in the morning until like four, and I could not sleep. And she like woke up and started like, you know, put her hand on me and like started praying. And honestly, I fell back asleep because it just felt good to like hear that, you know, because I've struggled to, you know, I go to church and stuff, but I've struggled to pray. Spirituality's not for dudes, it's for women. It's, uh-- Like they're the conduit for us for all that shit, but that's their fucking thing. I don't know if I want to like say that's the fact, because, you know, like part of me is like, I can do anything, but it is hard for me. Well, you can't lactate, right? True. Like there's certainly some things that women are better at men, and that's one of them. I could try, but yeah, I definitely heard, I'm sure, like ringing it out or something. I've got nipples, Greg, you know what I mean? Actually, that it's not true. I know it's true that they can, but you're not, but if you're doing it, it's something's fucked up. Dude, just a pituitary tumor is totally natural. No, it's not. No, no, that's a problem. Is that what the boys are doing for five months? Boys lactate a little bit when they're younger, or going through puberty. That's why their nipples will get kind of puffy. I don't know if it's actually like milk lactation, as it is like an oil, but that was like-- Thanks for tuning in, kids. Go to iTunes, rate the show five star, and leave a quick review. Also, I don't know where to spot a five. It's just a five star and you can walk away. Tell everybody where they can find you on social media. Find me at Von Rothfelder. Good luck with that. Why a consonant? And check out Strong Coffee Company. If you love coffee and if you love health and milk. Do you guys at least have merch people can buy? We have some really dope merch. No, we have some really dope merch. Buy a shirt. We have some really dope merch. This is a comic. I just tried to buy a shirt. Like that was a stupid t-shirt. You should put that shirt on your site right now. I couldn't buy a coffee so I bought this stupid. We actually did a full clothing drop that has really shocked me how well it's done. And it's been exciting to see everybody go crazy over it. Like actually taking high level kind of like fashion and putting it into fitness. Which has been fun. So making shit over and overseas. Alibaba is crazy what you can do on that thing. Yeah, it sure is. Chinese is. All you have to do is exploit children. It's wild. There's so many children you're going to exploit all over the world. They're fingers. They just. They're tiny. Detailed. And you fit a lot in a closet and a lot in a bed. Said Wayfair. Yeah, sure did. Just check the weight on that shipping. Exactly. Oh, not bill of waiting. This shit. 2,000 pounds or 10 shirts. That doesn't seem right. Yeah, speaking of shirts go to drinking bros.com. We got our own merch up there. It's on fire. And those Trump Yemiss shirts are really taking up TMZ. They're on fucking TMZ the other day. Really? I think that's somebody ripped the design and put it on Etsy. It happens more than you think. But going by those shirts. Stringing bros.com is all stocked up. For Anthony, Anthony Holloway, I'm Ross Patterson. This is the Drinking Broze Podcast. Go. I don't know. [Music]
