Butts in the Seats Podcast
Goldberg Returns... Again... (6/5/2000 Nitro)
(upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) - Welcome to the Butts the Seats podcast, episode number 111. - Nice. I don't know what to say. I lose track of what to say about these numbers. - Well, Emily, 'cause it's the only time we're gonna have the same digit three times. You know what that means. - I think Nick just had a bad day. - It needs to take a shot. That's valid and we love Nick and this is the same space for him. - With a squeak. - What was it? - Oh, that's just the chocolate peanut butter whiskey. - Oh, your trash. - But my bad day aside, we're here today to talk about the June 5th, 2000. That means that'll be Monday night show. - Yeah, 'cause in 2000, nobody ever had a bad day. Definitely not in 2001. - That said, Emily, we are, our intros are getting shorter and shorter 'cause we are not saying what we're doing here. So Emily, what is it we do here? - What is it we do here? - We watch Hulk Hogan on-- - We mostly just talk about Hulk Hogan. The tagline you want me to say is that, well, Nick, we take a week by week look at the slow but inevitable downfall of WCW late 90s and early 2000s. But reality is, we watch episodes of Nitro. We talk about how this is a shit show. Not just a shit show, it's a shit show. And how it leads up to pay per views and why it inevitably fell apart. - In, hold on. We did watch his thunder recently. - Ah, sorry, see, you know? You're right. - Luckily, like I said, on a thunder episode, we're pretty much done with thunders until the very last one. So there would be no more confusion. - We will do ECW shows, but Hulk Hogan is showing up there. - What if he did? What if you just like didn't know the whole lore? You learn things as we're watching too. So maybe he does show. Maybe he's in like a backstage segment. - Is he also pulling a Kurt Angle where it's like, you cannot show me? I will sue you if you show me. - Maybe? You never know. Crazy things have happened. - So Emily, before we talk about this show and all that jazz, anything going on in the world, the wrestling of interest in 2024? - Mommy's back. Rhea just made her reappearance. And we have... - Her reappearance? (laughing) - Oh my god. - Don't throw you off too much. - Don't do Rhea over me. - We're going to Raw next week, so that'll be fun. - Yeah, we'll be at the one in Baltimore. - Yeah, well, obviously. - Well, we had the chance to go to Smackdown in DC and we went, "It's too far." - That's the fun thing about people from Baltimore is like, we went to Hershey and he woke up at DC. - We will go to Pennsylvania before we go to DC. DC is technically a 45 minute drive, but I will be caught dead going to DC. - Yeah, it's just not a 45 minute drive. - Fuck that. Catch me in York PA before I'm in DC. - We gotta figure out what to do for the Great American Bash. That's in Baltimore. We gotta do something fun. - Oh yeah, we gotta do something. We'll think about something. - Sneak into the arena, do it from there. - What was it called in that time? 'Cause that's our next pay per beat, right? - It's the Baltimore arena. - Was it the Baltimore arena? - Lame boring. I miss the Royal Farms arena. CFG sucks. Sorry, I'm a CFG hater. - Certainly, let's actually get into the wrestling and all that. - Ugh, do we have to? - Or at least, yes, we do. - I would much rather-- - What's your alternate course action? - Let's just talk about this week's RAW, last week's Smackdown, anything else. - We went to bed before the end of RAW. You didn't even see Braunbreaker. I didn't care about-- Oh, Braunbreaker came out in the main event? - Yeah. - Oh, I didn't care about the match. - It was a good match. - I'm sure it was. You told me to turn the TV off. - I was sleepy. We get a very, look, our lives are a lot more complicated now with the dog and we kind of opted to do, what if we increased the Patreon schedule right around the time we get a dog? - Yeah, we're fucking stupid. - And do acapella groups and softball in? - Yeah, we are busy. So we're sleepy at 10 o'clock. So that third hour of RAW really fucking hits, okay? - Yeah, I think we can quietly admit to the world here the last RAW we went to, we left before the main event. Granted, we didn't-- - We went to Hershey Park during the day and both of us were the pass out during dinner. - And that was before the show had even started. We weren't even in line yet. - And then we met somebody who kept wanting to spoil all the WWE shit and I'm like, "Dude, shut the fuck up." - Yeah, he was really excited. - How many times do they tell you, "Hey, she doesn't know what's gonna happen?" - Oh, what about this thing that happens in 2001? I don't know. Oh my God, yeah, listen, we are more SmackDown people than we are RAW people. Unfortunately, I like the programming of RAW better than SmackDown, but that last hour, man, SmackDown being a two hour show is nice. On a Friday night, dude, we got nothing going on on a Friday nights. Anyway. - Stop Dilly Dolly. - This episode was also a two hour show but it didn't feel like that. - Yeah, it felt so quick, it felt great. It was easy breezy cover, girl. - It definitely didn't make me hate being a woman in this industry. I love wrestling after this episode. - Yeah, Emily has a lot of thoughts on this. - Oh my God. - Emily has concerns that often the podcast just me describing moves. Something tells me this show isn't gonna be one of those. - No. On the other end, sometimes it's mostly just me bitching and I feel like it's gonna be a lot of that tonight. - So tonight, "Stubby, Stubby Monday Night Show" is live from Atlanta, Georgia on June 5th, 2000. - It's very important to note that it's in Atlanta because that's the headquarters of WCW, right? - Yeah, I'll just turn her in general. - Okay, I have turn her. And I would like to note prior to us getting into the actual show of this. - Yes. - On our last episode, Nick said, next week we're in Turner Land. So they're gonna pull out all the stops and it's gonna be a good show. So we have that to look forward to. Just like remember that. - Look, on paper, they did that. In execution, they did not do that. - You're telling me. - They hyped up a lot of gimmick matches and it's gonna be a wild show, it's gonna be fun. - You're telling me that hardcore match was on paper good? We'll get there, but I want you to defend that. - So on the topic of being in Atlanta, it should be noted we are not in the Georgia Dome. - Why are we not in the Georgia Dome? - 'Cause they can't sell out the Georgia Dome. - Did they sell out the Serena? - No. - Oh no. - There were 13,000 in attendance though. So like a lot better than they've been doing. However, only 6,000 paid. - Of course. - How do we get these free tickets? What shows do we have to go to to get free tickets? - The problem is you're setting me up for a great AEW joke, but I don't want to be part of that discourse. - And I don't know enough about AEW. - They're not doing great right now. Like, monetarily, from all accounts, the show quality is still fine. - Oh, okay. I guess that's good. - It's still full of very talented wrestlers. It's just-- - So they have the ECW problem. - Yeah. - Okay. Not the WCW problem. - No, I did say there's 13,000 in attendance. I think the Serena holds 19,000, so. - Okay. - Yeah. That said, I didn't visually see anything like, oof. - Yeah, I didn't notice any bald spots. - Oh, ratings-wise, and this will come up a little bit later in the show as well. But the big, advertised return of Goldberg took the show down from a three to a 2.8. - Really? - We'll talk about it in this segment. - Interesting. - There is something to be said for it, but Raw was also down a little bit to a 5.9. Apparently some people in WWE were like, we're gonna do a four. I feel it, it's like, guys. - Buddy. - You don't, you're barely, I don't think you've even hit a three, five the rest of the year. I do have some backstage notes. I know you always like these and you missed them a little bit. So a company called SFX, wants to buy WSW. - Mm, okay. - Nah, it's not for sale. It was 64 million dollars this year, but you know, company's not for sale. - What is SFX? Can you tell me more about that company at all? - They fade in out of the story so quick that I didn't bother doing any additional. - How bold do you have to be to look at this product and say, no, it's not for sale. - We've mentioned this before, but this is the week of Paul Heyman's famous. I dare you to throw me off the air promo. - Oh. - So with the next note, I thought it was a reason why she wasn't here tonight, but she's not a thunder. Apparently Daphne has tonsillitis. - I had tonsillitis. We were so similar. - And in a prophecy I predicted, she does lose the Cruiserweight title on thunder, therefore does not make it to the Great American Bash's champion. - Damn it. - She listed it to Lieutenant Loco. - Does she lose it because she has tonsillitis? - No, I don't. - Okay. - Are you saying in K-Fayburn's shoot? - Shoot. - Who would have thought that? - Did they take it off her 'cause she's sick? - I don't think so. - I was down for the count for two weeks with tonsillitis, so she might, they might be like, you need to go home and rest and not be able to be here. - Well, they had to wrestle the match, so. They didn't go, you were vacating the title. - Toclanus is a bitch. - More of a clerical note. Meng has been released from his full-time contract. He is now on a by-appearance kind of, you know, deal. - An ad hoc contract. - This is not important at this point. However, come January, this will be very important. - Interesting. - Or very is over sitting, but. - Is anything very important in January? - He'd show ship in January, and there's a note that feels like it could be kind of a big deal for WSW. However, WWF doesn't even bother saying it on the earth. - Nice. - Our final note, Bret Hart's doctor sent WSW letters saying it's like, he's not gonna be cleared in the next six months. So we're in June, apparently his contract is up in November. So it's like, okay, well, we. - Race that's in November, I guess? - Well, technically, he won't be cleared until after his contract ends. - I guess, yeah. - However, he is fired in October. - Oh, fuck you. - Yeah, we'll talk about that when we actually get to that, but. - Fuck you. It was a fat expiring. - I think pretty much. If not in actuality, but in spirit. - A fair. - So with all that, we have Goldberg's big return show to get to. - Let's go. - Let's go. - Let's go. I'm sure it'll be great and totally not fall below expectations. - Well, we start with a tank avid versus Goldberg video package, like hyping it up. - Yeah, like this is gonna be a big thing. Big band had a car. Earlier today, Rick Steiner and tank avid arrived. Okay? - Okay, go off. - We didn't get the opening pyro and there's a big ass cage above the ring. It's the caged heat cage. - Did they advertise this match? - No. - Cool. - Well, not beforehand, but they announced it at the start here. - I meant that did they advertise this prior to the start of the show? - No. - Heard, chef. - Not any of the television that I've seen. - Okay. - We start with Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo coming out to the ring. Commentary notes that Eric Bischoff will have the biggest announcement ever on Sunday. - Something tells me it's not gonna be big at all. - Apparently in some promos, Eric Bischoff has done. It's like, no one, including Vince McMahon, can do anything about it. - About what? - Yeah. - Okay. Go off. - Bischoff does his, oh, I love this crowd. I know you've missed me. I don't get this. I really just don't get it as like a heel heat thing. - What, the, I know you've missed me? - The like, oh, I love you and you love me. It's like, I don't know. - He's just being a slimy prick, that's all. Don't read too much into it. - Bischoff notes the state of the millionaire's club, but then only mentions Lex and Liz. Like, yeah, Lex is at home and Liz won't even come out of her dressing room, which does imply for some reason Liz showed up to the arena and then won't leave her dressing room. - Well, she's a prisoner. She has to be there. Lex saved her. She finally got saved last week. - Did she not get re-kidnaps? - No. - Oh, shit. - Yeah, why the fuck are you here? I thought she got re-kidnaps. - No, we're done. She's gone. - I know she's gone. Like, this is their way of like writing her off or whatever. - No, this is their way of beating petty bitches. - Cool. So I think I've mentioned before that Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo's music that comes out is, it's a parody of not parody. It's carry on my wayward son. - It's just Bischoff. They technically have different themes. - Oh, okay. - The first song they come out to tonight is carry on my wayward son, but it's not. - Which I also guess that Russo's one was actually too close to Iron Man, the one we started our shows with because on the network it is not that. - Oh, interesting. But I came up with a name for the song that Bischoff comes out to. - Oh, okay. - Because it's not carry on my wayward son. It's stay put my stationary daughter. - I was ready for some hoe-giver there of some other- - Brother. Stay put my stationary brother. - This is your version of the Welcome to the Rainforest Cafe. - Yeah, exactly. - Bischoff books Scott Steiner versus Vampiro and Kevin Nash will be running the new Blood Gauntlet. And with that, I was like, oh no, is it this? - The gauntlet implies, to me, multiple one-on-one matches that take a long time. Correct? - Technically there's two ways to be a gauntlet, but you are correct. - It is either the winner regardless advances versus this one person has to be X about a people. - Yeah, okay. - For some reason, both are called a gauntlet match, and I'm like, I feel like there should be different name for one of the two of them. - Yeah, but it would be implied that you would need more than, say, like five minutes to run the gauntlet. - You'd think. - Okay, heard, heard, Chef. - If Nash loses or any members of the Millionaire's Club interfere, he loses the title shot. Eric Bischoff then books world champion, Jeff Jarrett against Sting. And then Russo grabs the mic. Says, eight months ago, I had to move to Atlanta from New York for work. - New York. - Been the worst eight months of my life that I'm like, "I know you mean living in Atlanta," but kind of sounds like you're just talking about working for WZW. - Yeah. - You did not distinguish enough. - No. And Lee was a fun enough place. You don't have to hate him. - He then-- - He then calls out John Rocker. - Okay, who the fuck is John Rocker? - He's a fucking pitcher for the Braves. - I knew you were gonna fucking be entirely lost on this. - He called out John Rocker for "Dogging New York" or something. - Yeah, so there was a rivalry at the time of the Yankees versus the Braves. They played a couple world series against Chiller. - Okay. - But as soon as you got to John Rocker, I'm like, "Eddley's gonna be so confused." - Sting, I can't complain, man. Stop talking about other sports. - Talk about wrestling. No one in that audience gives a fuck about the Braves right now. - Russo also notes the cage above him and says he and Flair are going to Space Mountain and then I'm like, "I don't." - Doesn't that mean fucking? - Yeah, we also had this when he invaded Flair's home, like, "Do you know what Space Mountain is?" - I don't think he understands the euphemism that Rick Flair is making. 'Cause it sounds like he wants to go to Space Mountain with Rick Flair, which would imply he wants to have sex with Rick Flair. But then there's also the, like, Rick Flair calls his dick Space Mountain. So going to Space Mountain feels weird, but like Rick says he's going to Space Mountain, but aren't you always at Space Mountain if you're dick at Space Mountain? Like, but then your bedroom is also Space Mountain 'cause you're taking ladies to Space Mountain. I'm like, "Can we leave Disney World out of this?" - I like the Tower of Terror, unrelated. Just, you know, that's the best ride. - I don't think anybody should be calling their-- - I'm not calling like dick the Tower of Terror. I don't think anybody should like an addicted Tower of Terror. - I wasn't doing that. I just said it like the ride. - The context of this conversation you were. - "Bish off, then, books himself versus Terry Funk for the hardcore title." - Why? - And then says, "Golberg, screw up his plans to take out Nash. He tells Goldberg to take care of his business tonight and then go home for the night." All right, he says, "Go home." And my brain had to actually process like, "Okay, you mean for the night, not like, have this match and then retire?" - Yeah, go home does not mean retire inherently. I mean, during Atlanta, a lot of people probably have houses in Atlanta, like go home. - Well, Steve Austin took his ball and went home. It's like-- - No one told Steve Austin to take his ball and go home. - "Bish off threatens to suspend Goldberg if he interferes in Nash's match. Russo then grabs the mic and just starts like going on an anti-Golberg tirade. And Bish off is like, "What the fuck are you doing?" - Yeah, and this felt kind of weirdly out of place to me. - Yeah, Russo says he has two words for Goldberg, does the crotch job and says, "Spear this, baby." - That's three words. - Goldberg then comes out to the ring, attacks for a R&B security, Spirit of Jackhammer, more security comes out and immediately backs down. Why the fuck did you have Goldberg come out here now? - Why the fuck do we even have to-- - Stop ruining his returns. - That's a good point. - The whole thing is, he's in a Face Tank Abbot. - And let him Face Tank Abbot, let that be his big return. - Yeah. - But also, can we talk about the state of R&B security? - You'd say that like, it haven't been a joke this entire time. - Stop trying. - We noted the discrepancy between actual security and R&B security. - What was the discrepancy? - That like, actual security, okay, we will actually put a stop to things versus being feeder for the faces. - Yeah. - You'd say R&B security stop Vampiro from lighting that fire that building would have burned down. - Oh, absolutely it would have. So we have a handful of matches for later. Notably, one inside of the cage, because we get multiple cage matches later and we were both very confused. - Yes, there were too many cage matches and it was very weird. Like they weren't, it didn't make any sense. But like you can say about the whole show. - Backstage, Eric Bischoff yells at Russo with the cat. Jeff Jarrett comes in and winches. Billy Kidman comes in and winches. - Lots of winching. Everybody's mad about everything that Russo has said. - Billy Kidman wants a match with both Hogan's. Why? - Doesn't matter. - He doesn't get it. - Doesn't happen. But Tori Wilson storms out. - I really didn't understand anything that was happening with that storyline at that moment. Like I guess I did understand, but it wasn't being told well. So like Tori's throwing out, like who side is she on? Who fucking knows? - Well speaking of who the fuck knows. Next up, we get our tag team title match. It's new champion, Sean Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo versus chronic. - I will never call him Perfection and neither will commentary, so. - So yeah, new WSU Tag Team Champions, the event in Perfection. On Thunder, it was announced if chronic gets de-cued, they'll lose the titles. - So they got de-cued and lost the titles. - Yeah, but it was like only mildly screwy. It just came off way more like Brian Adams as a fucking idiot. - Well. - Like the pain is literally being counted and he grabs the muscle flexor and goes, I'll hit him. Like literally, he's down for the count. Like, literally down for the count. - Everyone starts brawling. Adams and Stasiak go up the ramp. Adams hits a vaulting shoulder block. Brian Clark hits a meltdown and then just doesn't go for a pin. It's like, that's your old finisher, dude. - Oh, was it just finisher? - Yeah, he looked like Sam for the whole crowd. Like, watch this thing. Doesn't go for the pin. - Doesn't matter. - Then the cat comes out to the ring but stops on the ramp. Adams hits a full Nelson slam. Palumbo comes in the ring, hits a super kick. The ref stops Clark from getting the ring to like help his partner. It's like, both other guys are very clearly the ring in your line of sight. They're like, well, you can't help him. - Can't help him. Stasiak holds up Adams and Palumbo actually hits a diving shoulder block. It was like, oh, we were really ready for the one thing they didn't want to happen. - Yeah, it actually hit. It was very, it was kind of surreal. - Stasiak goes up top, hits a soft diving crossbody. Adams hits a spinning backbreaker and makes side of Clark who cleans house and everyone starts brawling on the outside of the ring. Then we get the cat going into the ring and like putting the referee in more or less a choke hold going, count the count out. - But he was, or he never gave an indication that he would not. - Yeah, like it's like, enforce the rules. The cat's not doing anything to be like, be screwy here. It's like, enforce the rule. - This felt very odd to be the thing that they're forcing 'cause like, the way I see it, this would just be Charles Robinson doing his job and he didn't indicate that he would, you know. - It wasn't Charles Robinson, I thought it was. - But like also, Clark and Palumbo fucking disappear into the crowd. Like, yes, that's a count out. - Yeah. Even if we're not standing in the middle of the ring going one, two, like it's a count out. - Like no one's making an effort to get back in the ring. It's not quick, count 'em right now. One, two, three, four, five. Like, no, it's-- - So did, are we supposed to believe that Eric Bischoff sent the cat out to do this? 'Cause this doesn't make sense for even Eric Bischoff to want to do it. - Emily, I have one annoying potential explanation for this. Oh, it's the new WCW. We're relaxing the rules. People don't wanna CG cues. - But this is the opposite of relaxing the rules though. - They're relaxing the count out rules. - But they're not. - Well, I'm saying normally they would be, yeah. - Oh, because the cat was there. - That wasn't everything though. That was never a thing. - By the way, I think what you're thinking of is Charles Robinson in the later match just counts normal. And guess what, it's fine. - True, okay. - They get back in the ring. - Whatever they were going for with this did not land. - Yeah, Adam's sort of Stasiak back in the ring and the cat's like, nope, that's 10, you lose, like, that's one thing. But the weird setup for that just didn't work. So Stasiak and Palumbo were attained by count out. Everyone brawls, chronic grabs a table, and we cut away. - Yeah, like as they're setting up the table, they're like, oh, backstage is more important. I'm like, 'cause he's like, oh, they're a fucking table. That could've been a cool spot. We'll never know. - You know when, you know Devastem is in trouble when you can't even get the screwy finishes, right? - Right? - So despite the fact they clearly don't want chronic to be tag team champions, chronic is booked for a number one contenders match on the pay-per-view. - Excellent. - So, yeah. - Fear not though, 'cause we do get to go backstage and check in with Tori and Billy and look into their relationship problems, 'cause I know you had questions. - Yes, 'cause Kim and his scolding Tori for embarrassing him. And then of all people, major guns comes in as like, don't talk to her like that. - Yeah. - Kim and his calls are a dumb bitch. It's like, oh. - This felt very random. But we also, it comes out later that Billy is still very much with the filthy animals, which is a warring faction with the MIA, so like, I guess it makes sense. - We'll get that like three minutes. Well, I think Billy Hidden was more like, why is anyone sticking the nose of my business? I don't think it was a MIA thing here. - I guess that's fair, but it didn't feel as random because of that, because of that. - But major judges runs off like crying. - Yeah, I thought she was a little bit tougher than that. She's more in camo. She is a major. - Pamela Paulshock interviews Kevin Nash, who's just arriving. - Pamela is becoming like my favorite character. So Emily, I need to ruin Pamela for you. - I'm waiting for Kevin Nash. - Kevin. - Kevin. - Do you remember how we have the ongoing argument about the N.W.O. men and the Steiner women all being the same people? - Yeah. - Pamela Paulshock was one of the N.W.O. women. - Okay, okay. - So, we actually seen her before. Hold on, wait. - She never had a name. - Wait, if she's part of the N.W.O. women, Kevin Nash really should've known who she was. - He wasn't paying attention. - He didn't care. They didn't have a name, they weren't real. - But yeah, she tells him about his match, and he's like, "Wait, is Goldberg here?" Yeah, then I'm the last one here. My gimmick's alive. - Well, gimmick. - I don't be in lazy. - Is that his gimmick? - That's his gizemic. I mean, they did note that with the gizemic of Nash not being here yet. However, it's not the last one here. Someone else shows up later. - Oh, your gimmick is dead, brother. - Well, yeah, I'm like, "Okay, why was this even remotely a thing?" - I think with all these women coming back into the company, like Ty Griss is all of a sudden come back, I think that something happened in accounting, and they realized that they still had all these random women on payroll. - Yeah, so they have the accounting. It's called we're on track to lose $62 billion. - Yes, and I think Russo and Bischoff were told you need to justify the employment of these women, and they can't just be for eye candy backstage. So they're like, "Well, shit." - I'm gonna hate to tell you, you did all of that on the back of, "I like Pamela Paul Shock." She's not just eye candy. - No, no, I'm saying like, not even on camera, just like a groupie, essentially. They can't just be traveling with them for funsies. So they gave her it on camera job. - Yeah, we still, on that front, we still haven't gotten to, I will never remember her name, but if she has one on screen appearance apparently, the woman who apparently almost ran WCW according to her, and they got a whole section of the Nitro book. - Kimberly Page? - No, somebody's like, who is like her kiss groupie? And all of a sudden, like, almost ran the company. I'm like, "What the fuck?" Her name was like, Lynita Erickson or something. - How did you just pull that name out of your ass? - I don't know, but yeah, it's the one section of that book that I'm like, I think you got worked, Guy Evans. - Maybe at the end of this podcast run, when we are like in between shows, maybe I'll do a little book report. I'll read Death at WCW, I'll read the rope opera, I'll read the Nitro book, like I'll read them all, and we'll talk about them. - You'll appreciate them. - I know, I did that, I've done my waiting, 12 years of it in Azkaban. I don't need to do it again. - But anyway, in the locker room, the Misfits in Action report for duty, major guns isn't here, but then turns up crying 'cause Billy Kidman yelled at her. - She's like sobbing. - Yeah, Jim Bro suddenly appears and it's like, our mission now is to kick Billy Kidman's ass. - Because she's crying, like, pull your shit together woman. - I do want to issue a correction. - Oh. - He is still captain, huge erection. - Oh, okay. - Booker T apparently promotes him at some point because somehow, GI Bro is one of the leaders of this group now. - You know, I don't. - It's not the leader. - I don't know what GI stands for. I should go military get, but I don't know what GI stands for. Green Inspector. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - It all comes full circle, brother. - I think he was in the crowd watching that show. - Oh shit, okay. He was there, he was inspired. - He was one of the guys drinking beer in the pack just like, fuck, I don't give a shit. - Great Inspector, great Inspector. Guys, I have a great idea for our gimmick. - Before we go to the ring, we see Scott Steiner and Kevin Ash hyping up Goldberg for his match. Then in the ring, we get GI Bro with the Misfits in Action coming out. And by that, I mean, it's GI Bro coming out and the Misfits happened to follow. - With a new song. - I think it was just Booker's song. - Oh, okay. - Booker calls out Kidman and I'm like, dude, doesn't Kidman have a match with Hulk Hogan later? What happened to that? - It doesn't happen, that's what happened. - That's what doesn't happen. - Yeah, he was told, yeah, fucking right. Figure something else out tonight. - No, he was told, do whatever he want. - No, I know on camera what he was told. - So yeah, Booker calls out Kidman after a little too long. The filthy animals come out too, but I'm pretty sure it's a new theme. - Ollie. - And then Kidman is with them. We're like, what the fuck? - Where there is Conan, there is new music. - Kidman agrees to match. So we get GI Bro versus Kidman. A match we've seen a lot before, at least not before, I really liked. - I have on paper, this is a good match. - We know not to be hopeful anymore. Despite my Goldberg comments last week, we know. We got a Harlem sidekick early, Kidman hits Kidman faction on a distracted Booker. Scissor kick in a spin of Rooney. GI Bro says Kidman up on the corner and tells major guns to get in the ring. Ref is fine with this. Tori Wilson then comes out to like casually stop her and then low blows Billy Kidman turning on him. - That was impressive, that was unexpected. - Yeah, it's kind of done shittily 'cause Kidman's like, oh, I was wearing a cup. Like, what? A Kidman no sells the turn and they're like, what the fuck? - Okay, good for you for wearing a cup. Like, come on now. - And then he turns into a bookend and loses. Like, what the fuck? - This could have been a best bit and it was ruined by the women's interference, which sucks because I am always champion for the women, especially in this kind of a, this company and whatever they can do that is done well. But like, this should have been my best bit. At least Billy Kidman didn't try to like, pull his dick out. - Thank God, yeah. - Yeah, they're ruining my boy from me last week from making Ray a horned dog. Like, let's not ruin everybody. - Post smash, everyone gets in the ring and brawls. Kidman hits everyone with a chair and the filthy animals are left standing. So, who's the real winner, brother? - Ollie. I really don't know why I expected more from that. - 'Cause it couldn't, it's just the fact they weren't given any sort of time, but-- - But we should know, we should know better, Nick. - Should he finish the side? It's like, okay, well, if you give them eight minutes and then do that, it's supposed to-- - Two minutes, give or take. - We should know better, though. - Let's go to our hardcore title match. It is Terry Funk versus Eric Bischoff with Ernest the Cat Miller. - I apologize in advance 'cause I'm gonna be incredibly negative for the next five to seven minutes. - They may be longer than that. So, I'm going to tell you the events as they happen. - Oh my God. - So, the cat hits a cartwheel kick into a chair to funk very early. The cat then breaks out Nunchucks, which he hands to Eric Bischoff. Funk hits a trash can shot on the cat and then uses the trash can as a shield for Eric Bischoff strikes. Funk hits a trash can shot on Eric Bischoff and the cat brings Eric Bischoff to the back. Terry Funk follows and the camera doesn't. There's like the one thing with every hardcore matches the camera will follow. - They go backstage as if to continue, as most Terry Funk matches have, like they don't stay in the ring entirely. They usually go backstage or at least on the ramp or wherever on the wings. This time what happens, Nick? - Miss Hancock comes out to the ring. - Sure. - Snoochie-boochie's Tony. - Sure. - Fuck you, Mark Madden. - Sure. - He says it later too, which it comes out again. - Fuck this, fuck the match, I guess. - She just dances until she's interrupted. - Okay, so, I'm sorry. The match went full fucking stop. Eric Bischoff and Terry Funk and the cat are just backstage brawling. Apparently, supposedly. Instead of following them backstage to get the action, they sent Stacy Keibler and her legs that are still going to this day to the ring to just wiggle, 'cause she wasn't dancing, let's be real, she was wiggling. For why? - So that Kimberly can interrupt with like awesome. - Oh, God, thank God Kimberly's here. - Ah! - Well, Kimberly says that Stacy's trying to steal her spotlight. - She wasn't part of this segment at all. - Emily, everyone here came here to see her. - Kimberly is stealing the wrestler spotlight, but I think 'cause it's not her fucking match. - Kimberly insults Stacy and hits it with a clipboard. - And shatters the clipboard. - Stacy fucking no-sews this. Like, open a second, I wanna match. - You wanna match? There is a match happening. Can we go back to that match? - Well, she doesn't tell us Kimberly to bring her fat ass back to the ring. She's gonna be fat, yes. Okay. - Both of these women are maybe a hundred pound soaking wet. Like, come back. - Kimberly says she's going to give Stacy a fat lip later. Apparently, this is gonna lead to a mixed tag match. I really read this as one on one. So, Kimberly and Mike Awesome go to leave. Terry Funk and Eric Bischoff then appear back on the stage. Notable new blood member, Mike Awesome, sees this and goes, eh, just lets it happen. - Yeah, no, I'm still so focused on the Kimberly and Stacy of it all because like, fuck this match. Fuck their match. Fuck that whole conversation that just happened. Calling each other fat asses, like, how juvenile? Like, come on. - Only one person's allowed to talk about fat asses and then it's Scott Steiner. - This is so shameful, this makes me want to die a little bit. This makes me embarrassed to be a woman in wrestling. - I keep telling you, we need to review evolution. You keep going, no, it's fine. - I think I just need to watch evolution on my own to remind myself that women can do great things. That's why I watch the current product of WWE because the women are doing good things. - Well, hey, five months from now on the Patreon, we're gonna do a little head-to-head fan vote. So, we'll see what each of us puts forward. - Some funk wheelbarrows Eric Bischoff into the ring and then takes out the cat. Funk DDT's Eric Bischoff and we cut away to back stage. - Sure. - It's Vince Russo telling the Mamaloox to go stop this. - How many times are we gonna cut away from this hardcore title match to do something else? - Terry Funk then grabs a mic and says he's gonna show Eric Bischoff his ass. - We are in the middle of a match, my dude. So he goes to stinkface him more or less. The Mamaloo's come out of the ring, be down funk. - Why are the, where the fuck are the Mamaloox bin? - Yeah, they've just kind of like disco left them and that's kind of in it like-- - They vanished. - Tony Marinera is like off an ECW fucking up in his neck. - I forgot about Tony Marinera. - Well, okay, so if you forget about Tony Marinera, I do feel they need to remind you. So the giant of the bowl goes on to Russell in TNA. - I'm like, I don't know if you're aware of these. The relic is killer smelling backwards? - I actually forgot. I actually forgot. - But I did write in my notes, make relic joke? - God damn it. - That's what's going next to Scott Norton. It's a photo of relic. I'm gonna have the photo backwards. - No, you just have to like put a mirror on the other side of the room to move two pictures. - It's like, no, it's a mirror next to Scott Norton. - So you can see him backwards. - He's killing someone. - God, I hate it here. - Big Vito hits a dive ago, though, onto a chair on Funk's face. And then they hit a trash can lid on top of Funk's crotch. And Payler DDT to Funk, and they pull Eric Bischoff on top of Terry Funk for the pins that your new hardcore champion is-- - Eric fucking Bischoff. - As Mark Madden fucking comes. - I was so taken by the stupidity and chaos of this match. I didn't even see the finish. Eric Bischoff came out later with a bell, and was like, oh, he won, I guess. - So on that front, Emily, can I make this even worse? - I don't think you can. - Unthunder, off-screen. - He loses the bell. - No, he just gives it to the Mamalooks. - Fucking sure. - So yeah, it's like all free bird rules. Either one can defend it. - Oh my God. - So Eric Bischoff doesn't even fucking lose this title. He just gives it away, again, off-screen. - So for those listening at home, this show has done two things. It has ruined Booker T and Billy Kidman, and it has now ruined a hardcore match. It has ruined women. - So yeah, women, the gender as a whole, women. - Why, who couldn't ruin the family? 'Cause outside, a limo arrives. It's Ric Flair, Reed Flair, and Beth Flair. - Are they gonna get kidnapped? - I actually know. - There was no kidnapping on this show. - It was even an attempt. - Good job, guys. - Our next match, it is Scott Steiner versus Vampiro. And you were already losing your mind, and I honestly, it was so unhinged. I couldn't even take notes. So for the first time in a while, here is one mister, Scott Steiner. ♪ Only my freaks came in town ♪ ♪ A little early 'cause we heard ♪ ♪ Hot men are love to party ♪ (crowd cheering) - Well, he's right. So we went down to this club called Tony Vue, and this street comes up to me. It says she's been looking for love in all the wrong places. - I can't even tell what all things say to me, so I'm looking at her eyes. And I say, I might not know how to love you, but I didn't know sure how to touch ya. - So while you couldn't lust in it, and let me bust it, so I took her back to my place, and I gave her this feeling that I knew she hit the ceiling, and she called me the Big Bad Booty Daddy. (crowd cheering) He is the greatest man alive. - For this goal, show all my freaks out there! Big pop a pump, he's a hook up! Power in the airbag! - Nick, I think we should cancel the podcast. - No, come on. - I think I'm done. - I think I need to be done. - It's gonna be great. Look, at the very least, once you're tapped out, we're just gonna swap to live commentary on the episodes. - Oh no, I was literally turned face to the wall at this point, just like, what is happening? What am I doing with my Sunday evening? 'Cause this was a weekend for us. We watched this on a weekend. - This Steiner promo, he's not known for being the most, like, clear, but this is one of the most unintelligible. - I'm a genetic freak here, my bad! - But keep in mind, the promo you just heard was for all of the Turner higher ups in Atlanta. - Yeah, bear in mind, also remember what I said about picking note on what Nick said last episode? - So, Vampira comes out with the gas cannon of low torch. - Thank God Vampira's here, 'cause I don't make things better. Maybe he will light the whole building on fire, and we can be cleansed of our sins. - Jesus Christ. Steiner beats Vampira down in the corner, dodges a spin kick, hits a belly to belly and a press slam. Vampira takes that press slam on, like, his fucking feet. Like, now, I'm not taking that bump. - Not at all. - Vampira gets his foot up on a charge and hits a kicking combination. They go bra on ringside until Steiner hits three chair shots. Do I even? - No. - Do I throw a tire DQ? - I think you do. - The fact that they constantly, like, ah, they're relaxed rules. - And we'll do lenient, I don't know. - Steiner awkwardly slams Vampira through the announce table, but Vampira gets up pretty quick. His chair shots have his own. Charles Robinson here, doing like a little bit of a countdown, or at least pretending. - He's pretending. - Yeah, but like, hey, get back in the ring. One. Like, do the banter. Do the-- - Yeah. - The banter we make fun of the-- - I was gonna say, yeah. - I was gonna say, yeah. - Well, to be fair, we criticize that when it's, like, hand on the ropes. - Oh, true. - The count for the outside, that's a lot looser. - I guess that's true. - I think it's in Mexico. It's a 20 count. - Jesus. - Yeah, it's something ridiculous. - Like, outside the ring? - Yeah. - They kind of encouraged it at that point, I guess. - But I think they do closer to what actual count is the thing. I think their 20 count might be faster than the American 10 count. - Jesus. - It's, you know, it's the metric system. - Ah, it doesn't make any sense. We're Americans, it doesn't make sense in our brains. Steiner goes for a Brett's rope, belly to belly, but Vampiro pushes him off and hits a sloppy spin kick. Vampiro tries for a blowtorch shot. It gets countered, but then he hits one immediately afterwards. So, Mideja gets up on the top rope and, like, mostly hits a diving crossbody. - Atta girl, Mideja. - Yeah, fucking Vampiro knows sells it, though, and he's like, "I'm gonna set her on fire." Like, yeah. - Yeah, we didn't, we didn't say all that. - Yeah, he, like, lumbers over her, like, up the ramp, and, like, actually steps on her at one point. What the fuck? - So, Vampiro's getting a little too hot here, so we need to call the horny police. 'Cause-- - Set him straight to horny jail with those bonks. - Yeah, Sting comes out and just, like, bonk with the fucking baseball bat. - Yeah, Sting, just, like, "Hey, what the fuck you doing?" - Throws him back in the ring, Steiner hits a belly to belly, Steiner recliner, and Scott Steiner wins. - This one goes out to all the genetic freaks. - I feel like you could have this for the US title, you know, that really losing anything. - Probably. - For some reason, R&B security then come down to the ring, so Steiner and Sting can beat them up for a pop. - Sure. - Sure, why not? - The actual match of this, I guess, in hindsight thinking about it, wasn't that bad? - I guess not. It was, I guess, it was passable, it was fine, yeah. - Yeah, it's just forgotten because-- - It's not a best bet. - Yeah, no, but, well, ooh, let's see. The Sting Vampiro feud has been really been spinning its wheels for a little bit. Again, one of them is going to set the other one on fucking fire on Sunday. This did not feel like a big go-home angle for that. - No, not at all. - In fact, we'll see Sting later. No relation to any of this. - Why does he show up in later? - He's not, he has a match. He's facing Jeff and Jeff later. - Oh my God, I forgot it's a match. - Yeah. - Yeah, this is not a good go-home show. - Yeah, but-- - All things considered. - I mean, the thing about it, Billy Kidman, in his segment earlier, doesn't interact with Hulk Hogan at all. - No. - Hulk Hogan doesn't face who they're gonna fucking face on Sunday. - Right. - There's just a lot of interaction of people you're not feuding with for people on the show. - Yeah. - That said, Noah David Flair with Miss Hancock earlier. - True. - Daphne, Daphne does call him out on Thunder a little bit though. - Oh, really? - Oh, with Miss Peacock. - Miss Peacock, Peacacken. - So, it is now the advertised top of the hour. It's time for the big return of Bill Goldberg. - Yeah, you definitely didn't see him earlier. - Facing tank habit. - Here it goes, it's happening. - Goldberg does get his full actual entrance. Tank bales as soon as the bell rings, but it's also like still mid Goldberg entrance lighting, so I don't even know if he knows the bell ring. - I don't know, I don't think about that. - Goldberg hits a thrust kick, big punches, hip toss slam. Rick Steiner comes out, hits Goldberg with a chair a few times, including busting open the back of Goldberg's head. - Yeah, you can't blade the back of your head. - No, but I don't relax rules. Other guy just comes in with a weapon, not a DQ. - You gotta let it go, man. - Tank and Rick beat down Goldberg. Kevin Nash's music hits. He tries to come in from the crowd, but it just does not a clear path so he keeps having to push people out of the way. He trips up Rick Steiner. Goldberg hits his spear. Jack Hammer's tank habit. One, two, three. Goldberg wins his big return match. - Honestly, this is exactly what it ended to be. - Yeah. - Quick, clean, Goldberg lays out Tank, done. - I will actually say, I think they made it more complicated than it needed to be. - Yeah, probably Rick Steiner, yeah. - Rick and Kevin did not need to be there. - Yeah, he was a Rick Steiner. I guess we said, you know, I'll hit the chair shot, should have been a DQ. He's actively in the ring stomping Goldberg. Like, what's the line? - No, this could have been, they could have shaved 30 seconds off this match and it still would have been effective. - So for that, I'm not mad at this match. This is the first time I will say that I am not mad at a Tank habit match. - Yes, 'cause Tank habit just got destroyed and I loved it. If this was anything other than what it was, I would have been pissed. - I think the Tank habit Sid match wasn't the worst, but it was stupid because they were building him to fight Goldberg so well. - Yeah, it's like, what was the point of doing this? - Yeah. - Has Sid coming back soon? - No. - Damn. - Yeah, we're about to get a lot of people vanishing. - Excellent. - Within the next week or so. - 'Cause our undercard is so strong. - Back from commercial, Goldberg tells the doctor to stitch him up. - Okay. - Then get Pamela Paul shock interviewing Kimberly. Kimberly is generally bitchy to Pamela and tells Ms. Hancock to find another gangly teenager to back her up. - She never had a teenager. - Kimberly's calling Stacy a teenager. - Oh, she clung her a child. Okay, I guess I get it. - I thought that was setting up David Flair. - True. - All the gangly teenagers on the fucking shell. - True. - I think Reid came out. - We know he's here. - I'd buy like 13 year old simping over Ms. Hancock. - Oh, obviously, yeah, I would too. I'd believe that. - Let's go to our world champion. It's Jeff Jarrett versus Sting. Yeah, he is just a random match, middle of the card. It's going great for him. - It's a weird man. Honestly though, Jeff Jarrett versus Sting, another one on paper, probably good. - Sting drops Jarrett on the ropes and then misses a stinger splash but immediately recovers, close lines Jarrett. Sting catches Jeff Jarrett on a leap frog and power bombs him. Jarrett pushes Sting off a scorpion death lock and starts working over Sting with a steel chair on the ramp. And dear God, this man has one move for the entire middle of this match. It is edge of the chair to the ribs. - Yes. - That is all he fucking does for probably wasn't that long but it just feels like the entire middle of this match. - Yeah. - I would be that. - But you know what, if that's the only gripe we have, not bad. - Well, that's most of the match because back in the ring, Sting tries for a sunset flip. The referee. - You gotta let it go, brother. - No, the referee just tries to kick Jeff Jarrett's hands off the ropes, fails the first time and then has to do it a second time. And I'm like, he's not doing anything bad. He was just using a steel chair. That's fine. Hold the ropes on a sunset flip. That doesn't work for me, brother. That doesn't actually pin Jarrett but then Sting actually gets him down and the sunset flip finally pays off. Sting gets his shoulders down for the pin. For some reason, Sting has been given the world title belt. - Sure. - Eric Bischoff comes out and is like, I literally never fucking said this is a world title match. I went back to watch, see it in the promo, see the start of this match. They never advertise it as that. They never say it's that. - Okay. - They never pulled up the title at the start. This is just at the end. - Okay. - Oh yeah, you didn't even the title. Which of all people, Sting should be fucking fine with 'cause Sting has had the reverse head of this happen to him at Halloween Havoc when he said, "Hey, I'm gonna put on a match "because Hulk Hogan just laid down for me. "Let's do a match. "Goberg answers, Goldberg won." Got given the title and he's like, "Oh, what the fuck, this is bullshit." So Sting, you should fucking know better. And honestly, Sting was almost like God damn MVP. But the fact that he did this bullshit, no. - Okay, so this is not my best bit, nevermind. - I'm just gonna scratch that out. - This also's a match, wasn't great. - 'Cause this was obviously the best match on the card. Are you fucking kidding me? - Well, finally some good fucking food is my only note on this whole match. - Sting says that Jared will go to the great American fashion of body bag and then just beats the show to the world champion for a while. - Put some through the announce table, locks in a scorpion death block, hits him with a guitar, knocks him off the fucking ramp. Way to make your champion look strong going to the pay-per-view. And then during the break, he's fucking put into an ambulance. - This was the best match on the card tonight. - I don't even think it was. - Oh, I do. This is easily best bit. - We'll get to it. - This is another one of those matches that reminds me that Jeff Jarrett and Stinger good wrestlers. They're putting so many shitty storylines with stupid people that make them look lesser and then they get together and they show that they can fucking wrestle and they're good. Like I stand by, this is the best match, that's the best card on the card. - I'm going to disagree just with that whole middle bit and yeah. - I would love to hear what you think is the best bit. - We'll get that. - Is it fucking? It's fucking. - A little bit. - You did a fucking bet. - It's the actual match of our next match. - Oh, really? - Make a list. - The match, the real portion of the match. - Make a list. - Next up, we get Mike Awesome coming out to the ring to actually a new theme. - With a microphone though, they made him talk. - Well, his theme also has lyrics. - Oh God. - Yeah, Awesome says the clock is winding down on DDP's career. It says DDP will be lucky because something, something's sponged baths. I don't know, man. - This whole time, I'm just thinking, please don't bring Kimberly out again. Please don't bring Kimberly out again. - He introduces Kimberly. - Fuck. - Now, did you catch Kimberly's nickname for Mike Awesome? - No. - Muscle Man? - Mr. Muscles. - Mr. Muscles. I really hope DDP power bombs hurt through a table like soon. - You want him to be a young hit in her? - Yes, I do. - I literally wrote it by notes. Oh, it's Kimberly versus Miss Hancock. Nope. Miss Hancock says she'll fight Kimberly only if she signs her release to not sue her after she messes up her face. - Jesus. - And I'm like, what, you challenged her. So why are you now as the face going, well, you have to sign this or I'm not going to face you. Like, that's a heel move. - Yeah, that's true. - You challenged her to a fight and then went, well, you got to sign this thing first. I know you have a clipboard, but you don't need everybody to sign everything. So Kimberly laughs, signs the paperwork and Kimberly can't wait to see who the partner is. It's DDP. - Shocker. - Kimberly knows, per the restraining order, he came to you within 500 feet, but apparently the contract she signed nullifies that. - Ha ha, swerve. That was in the fine print and-- - That's how that works. - Yeah, legal, they lose. - So it's Miss Hancock in DDP versus Kimberly and Mr. Muscles. DDP slabs Kimberly's ass, so Kimberly does the Macarena. - Yeah, what? - Stacey dances, so Kimberly just shoves her over. - Cool. - Stacey and Kimberly wrestle in a lot of quotes. - Yeah, I don't think there's enough quotes in that. - Until the men tag in. DDP hits a diving clothesline on awesome. They turn to pin attempts until DDP tries for diamond cutter, but awesome Loblo's page and hits a German suplex. Kinda she does start a decent DDP shan here. - So the problem is the DDP and Mike Awesome of this is good. The fact that it's paired with Kimberly and Stacey is embarrassing. - Yeah, well that portion is mostly over now. - It's embarrassing though. - Awesome works DDP over in the corner. Paige tries for a comeback, but awesome cuts him off and hits a jumping splash. Mike Awesome sets up a table at ringside and then awesome slams DDP and hits a diving splash. I always love that move, that big fucker hitting a top rope splash. - Yeah, it always looks cool too. When he does it well. - Awesome tries to hit an awesome bomb through the table at ringside, but Stacey distracts him by standing on the table and showing him some leg. - She like rips the slit in her skirt higher. - I bet she just peeled it up. I think she ripped it. - Oh no, she definitely ripped it because when she was walking off later, she ripped it too much. Now the skirt's like falling off of her. - DDP slips out, hits a diamond cutter for the win. - Boom. Cool, I'm so over the Kimberly of it all. - Yeah, that said, to me, the DDP Mike Awesome portion of this match is the best wrestling I've gotten so far. - But like the context. - I don't care. - I do. - I'll just clip that out. - Sorry, no, you're wrong. You're telling me that that whole, that match as a whole is better than the match that we just watched? Wrong. - Wrong. - Look, I'm not saying this Hancock and DDP versus Mike Awesome and Kimberly is better than Sting versus Jarrett. I'm saying DDP versus Mike Awesome is better than Sting. - But that's not a match, that wasn't the match. And if you're gonna claim bit, claim bit, but you can't claim best match. - I will see if I can go with anything by the end. Backstage, Pamela Paulchock is outside Hulk Hogan's dressing room. - Haven't seen him tonight, so we don't even know if he's actually here. - Hulk is told Pamela he won't fight Horace, apparently the family feud is over. - That's it. - Yeah. - That's it. - With the benefit of hindsight, she needed very specific verbiage that she did not hit. - Correct. - Because this is meant to set up this whole angle of upcoming and it just, it might've been cool if they had done it properly. When they stumble over all the words in verbiage, it's like, oh, okay. - Yeah, I don't know if this is a slight on her as a performer or on the writers for not giving her the right things to say. - Yeah, I could, legitimately tough to say here. - Yeah. - So Horace Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out to the ring. Eric Bischoff says Hogan won't be here tonight as Horace sets up a table at ringside. - Yeah, why? If he's not here, what do we do? - I wanna put him through a table, Emily. - He's not here, he's not fighting ya. Put the table away. - So Bischoff's like, oh cool, we get the night off. - Yeah, like he's kinda right. He's like, yeah, I guess we get an early night, send everybody home early, like we're good, he's not here, he's not fighting. - But, Horace Hogan should come down to forfeit. And yeah, the big payoff of this is-- - Oh, Hogan's not here. - The fucking NWO music hits. I literally felt like a cold chill run through my body when the NWO music hit, I'm like, oh fuck. - Hulk's not here, Hollywood's here, brother. - That said, it is somehow the most Horace Hogan thing to be like, no, that's my music, that's not the NWO music, that's been my music the whole time. - Gaslight gay keep girl boss, the NWO theme. - I mean, he's basically Roman Reigns' shield music in it. So it's Hollywood, Hulk Hogan, and he's like, I said Hulk wouldn't fight Horace, I didn't say anything about Hollywood. - Hollywood. - Again, he will turn up one more time. Hollywood tells someone to lower the cage, and I'm like-- - This is the cage match? - Yes, which clearly the crew wasn't ready for, 'cause they are very suddenly having to move a little bit of the elevated ramp for the cage to lower. - Yeah, because it's like a stage, they have to actually take a piece of the ramp off, but fucking Hogan is show boating at the top of the ramp, so he's taking a sweet time to get into the ring, whereas the stage hands get the fuck in the ring, we gotta move shit. - So this match is gonna be in reality longer than the notes I have for it, but tell me if I missed anything. Hollywood beats down Horace, takes off his belt, whips and chokes Horace, Horace kicks the chair into Hollywood, hits a few chair shots, Hogan dodges the shot, grabs the chair, beats down Horace with it, including laying on Horace's face for a leg drop for the win. Yeah. - I guess, yeah, probably. That sounds about right. - He either went a little longer, but that's the essence of it. - Tell me why Billy Kidman couldn't be part of this. - Well, Billy Kidman suddenly runs in and is thrown through the table at ringside. - Yeah, cool, glad he was here. - He's looking great for his match against Hogan. - Seriously. - Hogan beat, beat and retire Hulk Hogan on Sunday. - Yeah, for sure. - Can't wait to see Hulk Hogan wrestle at, hold on, let me find out my notes. - The July paper? - The July paper, yes, that is, thank you. - At this point, I wanted to be noted that there is 20 minutes left in the file. This is what I do. I check the file and we're towards the end of the show. There are 20 minutes left. We have two matches, and one of those is a gauntlet match. - Yeah. - A gauntlet match. - Which I guess related to time. - I should go back slightly to the sting match and the Goldberg match. Because apparently the Goldberg match did not do the rating that they won. - Yeah, okay, tell me about this. - The little quarter thing they wanted. - Tell me why Goldberg did not draw the ratings. - I mean, how long was that match? - Like two minutes. - Yeah, people two and anyway, all right. And when back, it's like, yeah, you build Goldberg for a second at the top of the hour. People knew exactly when to turn up. Turned up. - It was over. They could get back to Raw within the commercial break. - Yeah. - Damn, that's, yeah, yeah. - Even at the top of the hour, Raw has just turned it on. So you're getting the previously on Raw. The py rail, it's like, yeah, you get this first bit. - Oh, yeah, that's true. - The fucking, although God at this point, it's probably like a five minute triple H entrance. And then this business. - Are we in the era of Stephanie opening the show of like, my daddy, whatever. - A bit. - Yeah, I know for a while there, she was opening every show really annoyingly. - So, speaking of an Einley, backstage Pamela Paul shocks us tonight. - How dare you. - It's just tonight, Ric Flair, you can choke the life out of Vince Russo. - What? - I mean, I'm okay with that. - Ric does a Ric Flair promo. He speeds through it a little bit, but it's so pretty good. It's Ric Flair, he's not cut a bad promo. - Yeah, I mean, it was actually pretty good for, we haven't gotten a proper Ric Flair promo. We haven't, I don't think we're ever gonna get a mean gene ever again. - Pamela, whoa, by God, Paul Shaw. - Pumpkins. I can't remember her name, her name is Pamela Pumpkins. - Backstage, Russo's on the phone with David. Apparently he's caught in traffic. So, our next match in the, what do you call it? I'm just gonna rage the cage. It's cage heat. - Caged heat, which is still really stupid. - They don't even call it cage heat heat. - No. - They've given up on that. - They're not calling it hell on the cell, that's for sure. It is Ric Flair versus Vince Russo. Flair, still in his wrestling gear, but he's wearing red here and I'm like, oh fuck. - That's not a good sign. It's very Star Trek of him. - Russo hits his shoulder block and then a sneaky low blow. Russo chops Flair and does a terrible strut. Like, have you not watched wrestling? - No, he probably hasn't. - Ric gets up, ribs Russo's shirt, chops him. Hits a punting low blow. Back suplex knee drop and Russo bails to the floor. Flair throws Russo around the cage and chops him. David Flair suddenly appears from out of the ring, but like, not even like a, oh, sneak attack. It's like, oh shit, he's here. - I've been here the whole time. - Yeah, and he's like immediately begging off from Rick, I'm like, ah, you are his son. - He learned from the best. - So, Rick stomps him. David does a Flair turnbuckle spot as Russo tries to get out of the cage, but read Flair bites his fingers from going out of the door. - Yeah, very like, feral child energy. Honestly, the inclusion of the Flair children, David included, felt very unnecessary. David did not really add or take away anything to this match. He just, he did nothing. And Reed was just like, ha, ha, ha. Like, that's a weird thing for him to just be here to do. - Like, it's not like he's about to turn 18 and like, okay, we can sign him. - No, he's a foot 14? - They're about. - Yeah, no. He's got a softball game. - He's got a play with Sid. - Fuck, you beat me to the choke, I'm supposed to go, no, babe, that's Sid. - Sid's his coach. - Russo then sets up a ladder in the ring to escape through a trap door in the ceiling. And he like, he was kicking Rick off the ladder. Russo-- - What is his plan getting through this trap door? Is his plan to like, leave the cage and just kind of trick the system like, oh, I left the cage, I win. - I only think it's win. I think it's just like, well, the match is ended because I'm not here anymore. But you challenged, I don't know. Oh God, Rick and Russo both climb up, flare his chops, but Russo pokes him in the eyes and then tries to escape back down into the cage. - Not really escaping. - Somehow during this, the ladder has fallen over. So Russo has to like, drop down, but Rick stomps his hand, so Russo falls. And then referee Charles Robinson sets up the ladder for Rick Flair to casually walk down. - Yes, little nage, little nage is the hero we need. - In a spot we're gonna talk about a little bit in a second. Rick Flair locks in the figure four on Vince Russo. And he has this fucking thing in for ages. - Yes. - Now, the reason for this is they're about to do a blood drop. They're about to do a blood drop in the center of the ring. - Yes. - Vince Russo's in the center of the ring. He is not the one who's supposed to take this. - So they have to awkwardly shimmy Rick who's gonna be taking the blood into the center of the ring. - It's also like, he's reaching for David Flair, like, hey, Paul me. And David Flair's not doing this. - No, David does not understand social cues. - Because a big thing around this time is like, Vince Russo managed to last over a minute in the figure four. Like the NWA is dead. And I'm like, it's a botch, guys. They fucked up. Like really, like that's what I mean. - That's what we're taking away from this? - Yeah. - Fuck you. - Like, if the same people that are like, David Arquette is ruined all of wrestling. - Take a deep breath, go outside, touch some grass. It's gonna be okay. - Like, I did take note of like, it is kind of funny that it's like, he's just in this hole, doesn't tap out. - Yeah, he's so strong. - Yeah, I think he's very clearly trying to set up a spot. - Yeah. - And I'm amazed Rick needed to get in position for this. 'Cause eventually Rick gets pulled towards the middle of the ring and-- - This has got to be the most violent blood drop we have seen thus far. - I think it's just quantity. - They overcorrected. They were like, we're missing, we need to do more. - It's quantity and like, it looks like a different-- - Viscosity. - Yeah, like viscosity. Like it is something different here 'cause Charles Robinson also gets fucking got here. - Oh my God, yeah. And it comes down with like, power. I think it can't be comfy to take. That's not like going through, you know, the water park and getting sprinkled on. Like, this is, this is heavy and it's not water. So there's definitely some weight to it. But there's just so much and it goes for longer than you think it should. - It's about forms of puddle on a flat ring. - Yeah. - David locks in a figure four and Russo, they pins him somehow with some count. It doesn't fucking matter. - This was the wildest blood drop. - Yeah. I mean, props to him and hit. Oh, yeah, they'd be hard pressed to not hit. - That said, stop doing the blood drop. We're fucking like-- - It's not over three over four. It's like, you can't do the spot correctly. - Well, they did it eventually. They got there. - But when you have to stall for a full minute and a half-- - To get into position, yes. But like, at least they were aware that they weren't in position. And it wasn't like a Kevin Nash situation where it's like, oh, there it is next to me. At least they had the wherewithal to know, oh, I gotta get, I gotta move. There's at least that. Take it where you can get it. There was a point at the beginning of this match, though, that reminds me that the chops that Rick deals out, they are violent. - Well, I don't think they always are. - But this one was, they did a close up on Russo's chest and it was like blistering. - I think it's a mix of, Russo's not used to taking strikes like that. And I don't think Rick Footer likes him through so. - No, I think there was a little bit of shooting that. So yeah, so they're still set for the Great American Bash if Rick loses he'll retire. - Sure you will. - This does have the problem that almost every Vince Russo segment does where Russo's never really like fully beaten. It feels like he always ends the segment standing tall. - Well, yeah, I think that's part of his character. He's slimy. - But like, it's every time. Like there's, I'm trying to think of anything where it's like, oh no, like he's actually been beaten. We fucking noted last week, it's like how, you know, usually it's the magic, it's knocked off the apron. Oh, that's it. It took like seven times to get him back knocked out, but I could be mistaken. I think Vince Russo leaves the world arresting undefeated and that's counting DNA in the future. - Really? - Yeah. - Jesus. - He might lose one match. - He's so proud. I can't wait to read his book. - You already learned about Jesus? - I'm ready to learn what he thinks Jesus has in store for him. - And that's when I booked a first blood match and I put a crown of thorns on him. Oh, Jesus, you're gonna die. And they're not gonna think, you're gonna come back in a couple of days. - Jesus. - You're gonna make them think. - Hey, Jesus did pull the classic wrestler mover. He retired. - It's sealed in the swerve. - It's sealed in the swerve. - Jesus didn't retire, brother. - And there are swerves. And this gentleman, we've all been swerved. - I got some fucking mud right here. So yeah, that's the end of the show. - No, it's not. - Oh, wait, no, sorry. Yeah, our main event. - How was the fuck was that not the main event? - Yeah, 'cause I was like, I knew there was a Russo-Flare cage match where blood drops. Like, clearly it's this, that should end the show. 'Cause it's a lot of blood. - The ring's covered. - Definitely don't do a whole ass gauntlet after it. So yeah, commentary stalls as the crew has to like swap the apron. And they're also at like a noob, just like fold out table. 'Cause-- - 'Cause they keep getting their tables smashed through. - There's blood on the camera. - I love when there's blood on the camera though. I think that's great. I think it's hilarious. - So our main event, it is Kevin Nash running the new blood gauntlet. - Ew. - I falsely predicted this would be automatically your worst bit. - I was not ready for the hardcore match in this show. - Yeah, you forgot about the fuckery, brother. - So this match is Kevin Nash versus Disco Inferno, John of the Bowl, Chris Candido, Vito, Ray, Hoovy, Conan, Stasiak, Polumbo, kind of like awesome and kind of vampiro. - Oh my god. This should take an hour. - Oh, I'm Shane Douglas, sorry, I didn't know him. - Oh yeah, Shane Douglas is here. This should be the whole show. How are we gonna do this in Chex Notes? 10 minutes. - I'm actually gonna ignore my notes here. - Oh no. - I am going to read the description of this match from an outside site of going through the match times to Vito. - Okay. - Kevin Nash defeated Disco Inferno in eight seconds. Kevin Nash defeated Chris Candido in 25 seconds. But look, this is for the total match, not 25 seconds from the eight seconds. - At the 25 second point. - Yes, Kevin Nash defeated John of the Bowl in 30 seconds. Kevin Nash defeated Big Vito in 47 seconds. Kevin Nash defeated Ray Mysterio Jr. in a minute and two seconds. Kevin Nash versus John Stasiak ended an old contest in 213. - Wow. - So, two minutes. - So what that really is, is disco starts, side slam, pin, actual pin, big boot and jackknife to Chris Candido, and then a jackknife to John of the Bowl. And referee Slick Johnson just sees these men down and is like, count them. - Yep. - Kevin Nash is not pinning them. - He does pin Ray, I believe. - Yeah, I, pin is very loose. - I don't know if Kevin Nash knows this is going to happen. Vito gets powerbombed, pin, big boots array, who's again, not cleared, pin. Everyone not eliminated comes in. So I think when I noted Conan has a match, I didn't realize he's just part of that. - Oh, okay. Goldberg makes the save and the new bled just kind of watches. Like, they do the very much movie. All right, like, one at a time, everyone take their turn. Yeah, it's bad looking. - Everyone's just waiting for their cue. - Nash and Goldberg clear the ring. Eric Bischoff comes out, all right, Goldberg, I warned you. Unthunder, I'm going to suspend you. - Unthunder? - You're literally here. - Do it right now. - Yeah. - You're got little, it took two minutes. We got eight more minutes to kill. - Goldberg says that a Bischoff suspends him. His ass will be next. And then why not? Pyro on the corners goes off when he says this. - Great. - Like, what the fuck? Oh God, I fucking hated this match. - And to actually even call it a match. - To actually, Scott Steiner does a lesser version to this. Unthunder. - Excellent. - But yeah, Kevin Nash is fucking, he's just so much better than everyone. - Of course he is. He's Kevin Nash. - In hindsight, one of the saving graces is you didn't have Billy Kidman lose in fucking six seconds. - I guess that's true. - He wasn't even out here, thank God. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Thank God, he got buried by Hulk Hogan. That way he couldn't get buried by Kevin Nash. - Yeah, at least if he gets buried by Hulk Hogan, he like, it still makes sense for him to have a match with Hulk Hogan, but like. - Yeah, I mean. - It's all going to be bad. - I mean, the new blood is already being presented as a joke, but holy shit, I don't think you could have, like they're dead. This is them. - RIP. - Yeah, you cannot make them look worse than this here. - Right. - Was it five or six guys who were notable, some of them are notable talents. - Yes, talents that you kind of been building up. Like Shane Douglas, Shane Douglas is not like nobody. - Well, he didn't get pinned here, but he came out in the brawl though. - Yes, but like, yeah, fucking, just goes one thing of like, whatever, you want to make him a joke, because like, Chris Canvino, which is the Christmas Champion, and like, jarred at the bowl and fucking Vito, you're like, oh yeah, hardcore champions now, and. - Nothing. - Yeah, I was kind of curious how far they would go with it, but in terms of just bearing everybody, but. - This is the best that WCW had to offer in front of their bosses. - Oh, and they do a swerve on Thunder. - Sure they do. - Or a double swerve of, oh, 'cause Jeff Jarrett got attacked so badly he can't defend the title. And then Kevin Nash comes down, hits Jarrett with a baseball bat, and turns like, no, I'm actually healed, but also I'm cowering away, 'cause he was a baseball bat. - Cool, what? - Why, yeah, I think one way. So we have a bunch of matches for the Great American Dash, but. - Are you excited? - I'm excited to get the pay-per-view. - I'm sad that this is the pay-per-view that we have to watch, and it's the one that's in Baltimore. - So I did go back and look, this is actually not the longest we've gone between WWE pay-per-views. - Okay. - The longest would have been when we did the three episode arc of episode 100, 101 and 102, but in terms of purely watching the in-time line shows, this is the longest we've ever-- - That doesn't count, this is the longest. - Yeah. 'Cause it was five nitros of Thunder and an ECW show. - Jesus, well, we get that to look forward to, I guess, if you could even say, looking forward to it. - We do have one more step before the Great American Dash Emily, and that is best bit, worst bit MVP. So I am curious what you come up with now for best bit and all that. - I had the Jeff Jarrett versus Sting match written down. I still think that's the best wrestling that we got on the show if we're gonna give it that. I think that the blood drop was really hilarious with everything around it, so that's like an honorable bit. - That's the problem is like, that is hilarious. - It's hilarious. - But for all the wrong versions. - Yeah, yeah. I think I'll still give it to Jarrett and Sting. I stand by that. - Yeah, and I'm gonna stand by mine. It's Mike Austin versus DDP. - Now, are you claiming that's a match? Are you claiming that's a bit? - I think that's a ball. It's a bit of a match. - That's fine, that I am allowing. If you are not claiming that to be an entire match on its own, fine. Who'd you choose for your worst bits? - I chose the main event. I chose Kevin Nash, fucking burying everybody. - Wrong. - Look, it was a poor version of it, but I've seen the hardcore match start at one point and finish at a later point. - I've never seen it that egregious. - Yeah, this was bad, but-- - No, but like to talk about the main event, like you're right, that shit sucked. It's a gauntlet. It should not have been over in two minutes and 16 seconds. That's ridiculous. - And to the point where I'm like, I don't even think it was because they're out of time. I think that's exactly what they wanted. - Yes, that was how that was booked. - I almost think if they had more time, more guys would have gotten buried. - Yeah. - And the fact that it's Kevin Nash, I always think his fingers somewhere in the fucking pie. - 100%. - And yours is the Arabic issue. - Oh, mine is absolutely the hardcore match segment, fiasco, whatever the fuck you wanna call that. I think that was an embarrassment to wrestling and embarrassment to women. It's something that I would never want to show anybody because it's shameful. - All right, then Emily, I struggled with this one. Who is your MVP? - Which is Goldberg, fuck it. - Yeah, I wrote Goldberg, I guess. Maybe Flair. - Oh no, there was no second. I just, it's Goldberg. - He's Flair for just getting fucking doused in the blood, but yeah, Goldberg, you know, this shows all about him. - Yeah, he made sense. He won, he beat Tank Abbot. - He brought, he did bring the most value. I know, our definition MVP varies per episode. - He did what he needed to do. He came back and he destroyed Tank in a short-ass match. He put to rest the ghostburg bullshit. Tank should never have to fucking speak again, and that to me makes him my all-time MVP. - Yeah, unfortunately Goldberg is suspended for 90 days without pay on a, on thunder. So, yeah man, we won't see him for a while, I guess. - Definitely not next episode. - Definitely nothing bad will happen with Goldberg at the next episode, which is the great American bash. That's up next. - Let's go. - But before you listen to the next great American bash, you can listen to the great American bash 99 and all of our back catalog ever podcast or fatties head for SoundCloud. You follow us on social media @buttsinthepod, almost everywhere besides Facebook, where we're the Butts the Seeds podcast. Over on Patreon, we recently reviewed Bash the Beach 94 Hulk Hogan's debut, and we're back to chugging along the new Monday Night Wars for TNA. - TNA. - If you guys have been missing out on Hogan on this podcast, head over to the Patreon, 'cause that's basically all we fucking talk about. - We did a little vote over there. We've shifted to two TNAs and then something else, then two TNAs, something else. But I believe the long build is finally over. With our next episode is the great American bash in Balmer, huh? - Balmer. - Any final thoughts how we get there? - It was funny at this show that they did a little shout out to like a Barnes and Noble in Baltimore on a street that I recognize. It's like, oh, I know where that is. - It's not even in Baltimore. - It's in Washington. - It's in Scarsdale. - Anyway. - Well, until you learn your proper Baltimore geography, I'm Nick, and thanks for listening to this educational episode of the Bust the Seeds podcast. - Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]