Welcome to Big Blend Radio where we celebrate variety and how it adds spice to quality of life. Happy August everybody. It is August 4th, which is, oh my gosh, check it out. It is National Friendship Day, which happens the first Sunday of the month of August. August is considered friendship month and women's friendship day is on the third Sunday of the month. So it's all about friendship. And I think this is a good time because when the dog days of summer, when it gets hot and people get crabby, when they get too hot. So that's what swimming pools are for, maybe a margarita. I don't know. Ice cream, perhaps, which is our last topic with Johnny Shafer. He's on every first Sunday, as you know, an award-winning composer, singer, just an amazing human being. So keep up with him at Johnny.com. So welcome back, Johnny. How are you? I'm doing very well. Thanks, Lisa. So glad to be back with you. And I think it's great that we're talking about friendship. I still haven't met you in person, but I really feel like you've become a wonderful friend through all of our conversations. Yeah, Nance and I both think that of you. And I feel like that with Paco, Nancy has not had the fun time and pleasure to hang out with Paco like I did. But we need to have that. I think friendship, now I have friends that I made when Twitter first started, never met them in person. We've had video chats. We've had, you know, friendship is friendship. You do the best you can. And sometimes you meet someone once in, you know, in real life. And then you continue on as pen pals maybe and or emails or what all the technology we have to keep our friendship going. I think friendship is key to everything. It is. It really is. Yeah, you know, when we talk about before where I did the gratitude club and because you people post things that they're grateful for on Facebook in that club, are you really good to know people? And so I've become friends with numerous people through there. I've written songs with people that I met on that in that club. And, you know, I think anytime that you put yourself out there, you can, you know, really be authentic and show yourself you can connect with people. Yeah, no, I agree with you. And, you know, we can't do everything alone. How about that? No, it does not exist unless you want to be a hermit. But then you know that bird singing in the tree next to you is become your friend, right? So friends are animal friends, you know, we love that. And I, yeah, I totally agree. And just even in that communication, so Glenn Barrows, you know, from Norfolk tours in England is, you know, always on our show too. And I recorded, it was in early January, February, there was an international friendship day. And we recorded this, he was doing another interview and was like, you know, this friendship day thing. So he's like, no, I want to do a thing. And he, so I'm going to link it in the show notes, everyone, on the episode notes, this interview with him about friendship. And he talks about a pen pal that he had, you know, back in the day, we had pen pals, three computer internet things for us consumers, as they like to call us. And he's friends with him to this day, and he's in France. Well, to this day, they are like buddies, since he was a kid in school. I mean, this is amazing. Over the years gone from pen pal, they know each other's families, they see each other once a year, anything. So everyone take a listen to that podcast, because it just kind of real, you know, those things are what we're here on Earth for, I believe. It's not just, you know, make a living. It is about the friendships. It's those things that, you know, as we're getting ready to pass on, that we go, man, you know, friendship. I'm still best friends with my, my best friend from junior high school, Roger Guerrero, he's, you know, and he lives about a mile away from me in Texas. No, you're in portables. Drifted down. Look at the ice cream social, right? You know, Nancy, go to the Sequoias and in all of that area all the time. So we have a common friend, you know, Rob over there with the Ui bars of chafers, Staffords. Why did I say chafers, chocolate? You have chafers in chocolate now. Oh, I want it to be here. Yeah. Yeah. I like this. So I know this is good. So, but yeah, the world is small. When you think about, he was on the show, Cheryl was on the show and she lived in Tulare County. You know, Don Net is messaging from Tulare Chamber. She's like, you all know each other. This is crazy. Like, yes, in the wild. But, you know, so I think that's what friendship is about, these networking things. And then there's just true friends that, you know, sometimes you need a couch to lay on or, you know, someone to cheer you up when you're having like a really bad day and you call in wine, but you can't be one of those who call in wine all the time. That's not good friendship. Friendship, you know what I mean? Don't play wolf and don't abuse the friendship, but you'd need a friend when you really need a friend, you know. So that all that you've got a friend. That's your James Taylor pick for the playlist, the music playlist. I think that's that's a song that goes with that. But so yeah, there's a link for Glenn's interview on that, which was really cool. And then Shelly Wisen is a transformational lifecoach and an amazing chef and author. And she's just awesome. We do a show with her every first Sunday. So she's on right after you today. She did an article in interview a year ago, or just over a year, about how important it is to have healthy relationships. And she brought one of her friends on the show. And we had this whole conversation about that importance. And so she wrote a great article talking about what it does for us as humans, you know, how it helps your confidence, how it makes you feel that you're alive and how to have an important and healthy relationship, how to behave. So you're giving to each other and understanding. So that link is in there too. Isn't that cool though? It'd be important. That's very important information. So I'm glad that you, you know, that people can access that. Yeah, because we want to be good friends. It cannot be all take and it cannot be all give, right? So it's that balance. And friendship is just, you know, to me, and to be forgiving to your friends because we're not all perfect. She always talks about the opinions of being human. And realizing that that's really all we are. So, yeah, you know, a good friend is somebody who knows, you know, all your faults and loves you anyway. And, you know, helps you be the best version of yourself. And I'm really blessed to have a lot of people like that in my life and makes a huge difference. And interestingly, a lot of the people that I met in high school through Band and Choir, because we have so many really powerful experiences through music, we're still friends. Like if you look at my Facebook friends list, there are probably 50 people or more that I met in high school and Band and Choir, and we're still, we talk all the time. And, you know, because we have that foundation, you know, those experiences that brought us together. Yeah, like the nerves, right? You're going to go on stage for the first time. And you're like, Oh, how do we get through this together? We giggle. And you remember, you remember doing the inferences that we remember doing the pranks, you know, the naughty things, you know, you remember that because you have to mastermind them, you know. So I think, I think that's the thing. High school and childhood friendships are so important if you can keep them through your life, because they remind you of who you were at your purest, I think, you know, where you haven't been shaped and molded by society and withered and, you know, kind of like bruised by how life can treat you, you know what I mean? You've batted around and the more as we age we get, we take less risk at times, you know, I'm generalizing, obviously, because everyone's different, but, you know, we become more cautious and start judging. We start to judge more, I think, as we get older. What do you think? Yeah, I, to both of those points, I think, interestingly, for me, I definitely got more cautious for a while, but then it all got turned upside down on four or five years ago when I got laid off suddenly, and then my parents both became terminally ill, and it was just, my whole world turned upside down, and I was like, you know what? Like, why am I, why am I not just going for it? And so I finally put my, my whole heart and soul into the music that I wanted to do since I was four years old, and, and it, it totally worked. Like, you know, I, I got to singing with Melissa Manchester and I'm in the recording academy, and, and, you know, people like Joey Specky, I got to meet, well, through you, but then we connected to the Grammys as well, and it's like, yeah, so I, I think for me, I, I definitely got to the point where I was very cautious, but then it sort of all blew up, and now I'm, I'm much more of a, I mean, I guess it's more calculated risks, right? You know, like I, I'm, I'm not, I'm not just really nearly, you know, just throwing caution to the wind, but I do feel like I, I'm taking a lot more chances now, but properly, and, and then in terms of judgment, yeah, you know, it's like, you know, we've been talking a lot lately about authenticity, and I just don't have rumor time for people that, that are, are not, you know, presenting there to yourself. But that's where the childhood friend comes in. They know you. Yes. From who you were, you know, before you grew up, right? So, like all the decision making and, you know, risk taking all of that. Yeah, we grew up, you know, and so now we make decisions, not from like, do we eat dessert for breakfast every day? Sometimes we do, but not every day, right? So eventually we start becoming adults of ourselves and don't need parents. So that hopefully helps for a lot, you know, goes for all of us, but, you know, or your life the way you want, man, honestly, but your childhood friends know who your dreams are, who you were in your soul. And sometimes in life we lose our way. Things happen, traumatic things can happen, loss happens. Just things can really, you know, sometimes when it rains, it pours in negativity, and the same way in positivity. And I think your friends remind you of, hey, you had this resilience for your kid, or this is what you've always been strong on, keep with it. And, you know, I'm obviously living in different countries, growing up, lost a lot of my friends. And we lose contact. It's not like we have, you know, it just was the way it was. But my high school friends that I graduated with and went to boarding school with and everything, thankfully through Facebook, all reconnected. And it just, it is, I mean, it brings tears to my Israeli and I got to see my best friend last year, or the year before. Wow, that's great. Here, and it, everything, like she starts crying, then I'm all like, no, you can't cry. And then the next thing, you know, because it's, it's, you go through things together as kids, you know, and so I think in real life, when problems arise, you go back to that center, who you are, you know, and you know each other that way. I'm adding another thing to our list of links. And this is an interview with author, Christine Oshu. She talks about her novel Campfire Confessions. And it's all about three childhood friends. And they went on a camping trip and stuff went down. It's, it, yeah, stuff went down. And it's a, it's based on how women or, you know, kids know each other really well. But when things happen, anyway, I'm not going to tell you much about it. Otherwise check out the book. It's very good Campfire Confessions because they go on an adventure together. And then somebody's going through something really something crazy happened. It was death dying, defying adventures. There is soul searching. Yeah, there's stuff that's going on shenanigans. You know, I've only catches up on the marriage stuff that's going on, you know, it's dangerous. It's hilarious. It's enlightening. So it's in there. So that link is there. So music, you sent some awesome suggestions for, you know, what we're, what we're going to put together as the music playlist. We love to do it. We put on Spotify and YouTube. And of course, I want to go right to Melissa Manchester because you got her in there a couple times. And one of them you were the associate producer for. And that's whenever I call you friend. Tell us that story. Well, if I have quite a history with that song, you know, she, Melissa and Kenny logins wrote that together back in the 80s. And when they wrote it, Clive Davis was her, you know, the head of a record company at the time. And he didn't like to talk. And so he didn't get to record it with Kenny. So Kenny was touring with me, would knock at the time and and be next to thing it with them. So they have that massive hit with it. And over the years, Melissa finally did record it a couple of decades ago. And then it was, she kind of did a very mellow. And so when she, she just released an album, it's her 50th year in show business. And so she did an album called the review and we recorded a lot of her hits because of course, many artists, particularly from her age, did not, don't own their masters. And so they don't get money when their songs are used in movies and TV shows and things like that. So a lot of them, even Taylor Swift, I think we recorded a lot of their hits so that they can actually, you know, get some money for it. And it's a chance to revisit them and reimagine them too. So she rerecorded one of our call you friend and the fans have wanted her to sing it with Kenny logins for decades. And, you know, people always, I hope someday that they sing it together. So when she was getting ready to record it, she said, she and I had done, you can't hide the light together. And she, we had a really good time in the studio. And she said, Hey, you know, you have really good ideas. Do you have any ideas for whenever I call you friend? And I said, well, actually, yeah, I think it should be more upbeat along the lines of like her appointed fire. And she said, love it. You want to come in the studio with me. So we went in and when we started working on it, I heard a really specific bass part. And so she and I pretty much wrote the bass part together. And then, you know, it's a really nice jamming track. So she sent it to Kenny and he loved it. He said, yes, I wanted things with you. So he ended up singing on it and then gave cars, played tax fun on it. And it's a really fun, but new take on this song. And you know, the song itself is just such a great tribute to friendship. And interestingly, about 10 years ago, well, from my 50th birthday, so it's more like 12 years ago now, Melissa came and sang whenever I call you friend at my birthday party. And at that time, we didn't know each other as well. But I just reached out and said, Hey, you know, I'm going to be 50. Would you come sing? And she did. And, and then I won her cover contest years later and got, and got to live perform live with her on stage. And we did whenever I call you friend. So it's just this continuous story with that song. And, and she is a friend now and an amazing friend. She's just a really loving giving person. And, you know, when you talk about our friends in high school, all my friends in high school knew how much I loved her way back then and how much her music meant to me. And so when, you know, we started doing stuff together, they're like, Oh my God, this is like, I know how like, what a great story this is for you, because you've always loved her. And so yeah, it's a, you know, to get associate producer credit or re-imagining one of her iconic songs, you know, along with Kimmy Loggins, it was pretty cool. So that is cool. That is cool. And you also added her, well, wait a minute, when you said this, when you were 50, any advice from me? I'm going there. I'm not quite there yet. Oh yeah. Any advice? You're my friend. You better give me some tips on the Big Five O. I would say that you're already doing like, perfectly well, what I would suggest. I mean, you just, you're taking everything that you've experienced over life. And you, you know, you've, have done your share of mistakes, but had your triumphs and you know, so now, yeah, yeah. And now you know, you have a really good idea of where to go from here. And so now it's just bringing it all together and going for it. And I can tell you like, I really feel like things started for me around that time. Like I, before that, I was, I was surviving in the corporate world, and not really particularly happy, but, you know, just kind of there. And then I ended up marrying Paco, and then I started doing all this stuff with my music. And, and so the time, since I turned 50, has been amazing. And so I think it's just, it's just taking everything and now saying, okay, I know what I'm doing. And the things, and ways that I don't know what I'm doing, I, I have wisdom. I have love in my life. I have friends and I can, I know the, I know how to figure out what to do. Like you, you've talked before about watching YouTube videos when you need to learn how to do something. So you have a lot of resources. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Six cars, washing machines, anything. Bring it. Yeah. Well, Paco learned how to do video production on YouTube later. See? Yeah. I mean, we've got so many tools, you know, and then also just ask friends, you know, don't, don't never be afraid to ask, you know, like, like I said, there's that balance, right? But it's funny. I was trying to, a friend that I work with. And, you know, because we'll be in New Orleans on this big, you know, day and, but taking care of two other cats. And I'm like, you know, the animals first, right? But she's like, okay, we'll see. And I said, you know, it's going to be this big one. You know, she goes, she's just a number. I said, I know. And this is it. I said, there's, but I believe there's wisdom and laughter behind every wrinkle. I do believe that. Oh, yeah. That's, that's my core belief. I remember 30 being really cool. Like when I turned 30, I don't know, and I lost a bunch of weight too. And something just changed in me. Like I just turned around and went. Enough of that. I think you learned that you can put boundaries. And it was like a screw society, what's what they want me to be and do. This is what I want to do. And that's that. And it felt good. Kind of, I kind of gave the finger to a lot of things. And it's a good thing to do. I mean, I'm not being rude or mean or anything. It just was, you think it's okay to know who you are. And that goes back to your friends. You cannot fake being who you are around your high school or childhood friends. You can't. And if you've become something that isn't you, because you're faking yourself, they're going to call you out. If they're good friends. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. No, no, no, no. Well, it's funny when you talk about that, because I was totally in the closet all through your high school. I didn't come out, actually go right after college. But now when I talk to people, they're, "Oh, Jeremy, we all know." Well, you should have said that, probably, because it was really traumatic for me. But there are a few people from high school who, they're either always were very conservative or they've become very conservative and they're not too thrilled with me being gay and whatever. Most of them though, I've always known that about you. And we love you and we're glad to see you thriving now and that you've come to a place where you love and accept yourself. That's awesome. That's awesome. Like I told you before, I mean, so many friends in high school, but I had no clue, but I always had an inkling, but I also didn't understand anything. I didn't get it. It's a big eyeshadow thing. And so that's the other part, is everybody learning about each other. And I think it's, we should be open-minded and listen and learn. And, you know, I just, I want to know people for who they are, not what society tells us. And that, you know, I know there's all these new protocols and everything, but sometimes can we just talk? Like, we just be human with each other and imperfect. Yeah, I like that. I'm going back to music with Melissa. You have come in from the rain. I think that is so perfect. That's a perfect choice for the music. It's probably my favorite song of hers. That song, it's just such a, on such a deep level, it's, you know, it's, you know, there's a line, you know, someone like you will always choose the long way home. You know, it talks about, you know, you're out there wandering in the rain. And here's a safe space for you to come in, come in from the rain and just, you know, recharge and, and in your love. And it's, it musically is really beautiful, too. The day after we shot the music video for, you can't hide the light, we shot the video for the new version of coming from the rain. And Melissa had a, the soonest, her father was a, with the Metropolitan Opera. And so she had Bill Woodward, who is a marvelous, the soonest there. And then we had the very elegant set. And our friend David Joseph designed a beautiful dress from Melissa for that video that it has a watery look to it. And so it, it perfectly went coming from the rain. And so that, that video is one of my authentic videos of hers and Paco made it, you know, and it's a, it's just a little lovely. And you hear the wisdom in her voice, she's recorded that song three times, actually. And the newest version you hear, just like when Journey Mitchell be recorded, both sides narrow, you know, and with the orchestra that last time, it's a similar thing with coming from the rain, you hear Melissa's life wisdom in, in, in this new version of it coming. Also, don't cry out loud. She, on the new album review, she, she does don't cry out loud much more popularly, like it's not just, the funny story behind that song is that when, when they recorded it, she, Peter Allen, that played it for her and he'd sung it almost like a lullaby. And then when she went in the studio, they'd already laid down the instrumentals and they, it was this big, bombastic thing. So when you hear me singing it, it's actually anger. Like, I was so angry that they were having me do the song that way. But for some reason, it ended up working really well. And so, you know, it became a hit where they're kind of belting the song out. But on the new album, she, she does it very much more peacefully in like a, like a friend singing to someone. So if, you know, it's interesting how, when artists revisit their songs a lot of times, they bring new things to it. I agree. I agree. I like, I like, you know, any Lennox does a lot of that. Yeah. And not just for their own, but others. Like, she just takes, she can deconstruct a song and put it into a whole new thing, you know? Oh, yeah. You have queen in here. And you're my best friend, which is awesome. But then their friends will be friends. Yes. Right. So the friends will be friends. And that is actually just one of my favorite songs. I love queen. Come on. Like, it was like, the atrical opera rock, you know, was one of them, right? Don't you think they were one of the best on the planet? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wish I was pretty murder Jesus. There's nobody like him. Yeah, that is. Dionne Warwick, we have to bring in there. That's what friends are for. We don't bring that in. We're going to have a bunch of people at us. We can't we can't leave her out. Cannot leave her out. Absolutely. Of course, you've got Bette Midler, the wind beneath my wings. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got along with people associate that so much with the movie, you know, and just, you know, that song, what that movie was about friendship. And so, you know, I don't, you can't leave off on now. Well, she did in my life from the Beatles, John Lennon. Oh, right. Yeah. And I can't remember the movie. And it was like a military thing. And God, the way she did that, she take. Yes. That the way she was in, by the way. Oh, wow. Here it is. Another tie in, right? That's right. Yeah. That's right. You're right. You're right. Yeah. She was one of the back, the one of the fingers. Yeah. Yeah. That was such a good movie. I have to rewatch it now. But that, that movie, I mean, when she sang that in my life, I think she, I actually, I always thought was one of the most brilliant songs written. Like it's one of my list of songs because it just, it managed to take you on a journey. It was like reading a novel, like a flash novel kind of thing. And so I was like, that's a, but then when she took that, I was like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good thinking of it. What's some of your favorite movies about friendship? We've got to put stand by me, stand by me, the song has to be in here. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Now, did you watch the movie? Yes, I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a, an homage to childhood in general, you know, it's so well-done. And, you know, like, I, whenever, whenever I hear the song, I think about the movie, you know, even though the song was great before the movie, but it just kind of, you know, they're kind of tied together for me now. And that was such a good show. Oh, yeah. I'm about young, friendship. And, yeah. And other song about, I guess another movie that I, I guess it's kind of about romance, but love actually also has a lot of elements of friendship and, and, and, uh, that's always been a powerful movie for me that I haven't seen it. Are you having? Oh, my gosh. Maybe my favorite movie. Wow. I have not seen it. Okay. All right. Yeah. It's a great movie. Yeah. It might be my favorite movie. It's definitely my top three. So, yeah. Yeah. I think, and I know I brought this up on the road trip site because I like road trip movies so much because friendship is involved is breaking the rules. And it has just, have you seen that, right? With Justin Bateman or any parts. That movie, I mean, it was, it was just classic fun. I liked it. I liked the shenanigans on friendship doing something to help a friend get to his dream before he passes away. The wheel of wisdom, the wheel of fortune, the, um, oh gosh, what is it? Jeopardy. He wanted to be on Jeopardy. You know, but then what about friendship amongst siblings? You know, there's one thing about caring for a sibling, but isn't there friendship in that? Remember Rain Man? The movie? That's why I thought it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's hard because I, some of my friends that I knew in high school don't talk to their siblings. Yeah. And that always makes me sad. I just can't imagine that because, you know, when you talk about having a complete history, somebody who knows you inside and out, it's such a valuable, because you can, you can, it takes time when you're in a crisis or a situation. You don't have to explain a lot of things because the person already knows so much of your history that they can jump in and give you constructive feedback because they know so much about you, you know? And a lot of times that's with childhood friends, but with siblings, you've known each other since you were conscious, you know? And so the, the, I just find it really valuable. And my brothers and I are very different. You know, we've talked about how we actually had very different childhoods. My youngest brother's 14 years younger than me, and he's actually a half brother, but we don't talk about, you know, we don't see it that way, we're just, to me, we're brothers, but you're from my father and my set mother. But my other brothers five years younger than me, and even he and I, my parents divorced, our parents divorced when I was 10, but he was only five. So I had five really good years with my mom and my dad together before, you know, things changed. And he didn't have that. And so we have a lot of shared background, but it's also helped me understand our relationship to realize that in many ways, our childhoods were very different too. So, you know, it's about balance, right? You know, the ways that we share things and in a way that we still have our unique experiences. I like that. Because I think that's, yeah, I mean, everybody's is different, right, with what happens. And every, I mean, Nancy, that's six, there's six kids. And then she found out she had a bunch more, but, yeah, yeah, it's kind of that thing. And I was like, oh, there's all these other kids related to me. You know, so it's a whole other family, a whole other mom and kids. Yeah, it's wild, but it's real for kids, you know, and that's where friends come in. You know, that's where friends come in, because friends can be there through the thick and the thin. Like, you know, you're talking about divorce. Divorce was like, I remember, you know, as a kid, and divorce was a dirty word back in the day, like in my, you know, you know, that was a no, no, and it was a no, no for Nancy to be a single mom doing what she did, taking her kid to Africa, trying to open bank account my God on her own. And after my God, that was illegal. You know, it's like that. But, you know, you were looked down on still as a single mom, you know, like you, what did you do? You know, dirty woman, kind of very much that way, still, of course, not today. But that's that, you know, it's, the kids do feel something somewhere along the way, and it just depends on their age and, you know, so many different things. But I think your friends help you, you know, if you're not, if you have to know that you still have value as a human being, no matter what your parents do, and it just depends on your age and all of that, you know. So, yeah, it's just, but that's what friends are for. And friends are also very much there to have a good time with, right? You know, just to laugh. That's what you need is laughing, isn't it? Well, my best friend, Roger, and I, you know, we're in our 60s now, every year for our birthdays, we give each other our birthday cards. And we send each other part reels on Instagram. You know, it's like we... Thank you, because you said that to me, yes. Because we had that shared, we were, that's when we became friends, is when we were, we were all about that stuff. And so, we never outgrew that with each other. And it's a... It's something that we just go right back to here. And so, I can be a total, you know, silly little part obsessed kid with my friend, Roger, you know. And, and, you know, it's weird because, too, we... Not weird, but we, you know, around college or so, we kind of drifted apart for a little while. But when we reconnected, it was like we were never apart. And with good friends, that's how it is. You could not talk for a long time. But when you do, you just pick right back up. You know, and we, it's funny because we were both gay, but, you know, didn't come after each other till our 20s. And, well, I guess I came out... Maybe I did actually, yeah, I think it was early 20s, and then he came out on his late 20s, to me. And so, we knew each other for a long time. But I think we both sort of bored in you about each other. And, like, some people are like, "Oh, well, you guys were such good friends, and you're both gay. Like, why don't you get together?" But it's like, to me, it's like a brother. Like, I, you know, I just would never have thought about him that way, because we were such good friends. Like, he, and, and for me, it's like a brother we love, you know. Well, that's, that's... That's wild. That, you know, that's, it's, yeah, I ended up dating a good friend, and that didn't work. Oh, none of them. Now, every time I did that, that didn't, no, not necessarily the best thing to do, you know, but, but yeah, no, no, but that's the thing. It's, it's, you know, the laughter. And, and laughing over the most ridiculous stuff is just so good. It's like when you have a pure belly laugh, or you have to run in the bathroom and pee, or maybe you already did it too bad. That is good stuff, man. Well, we need that juju, you know, we really do. And I also believe friendship and workplace and the world of career and business relationships is crucial too, because you get to know each other. You get to rely, you make good teams, you know. I think that is so, if you can bond with someone well in careers, and, you know, that's a thing. I think sometimes it's like, you never know who you're going to work with again in your life or what's going to happen. Don't burn bridges. Burning a bridge is not a good thing. If you don't want to be around somebody, you don't like them, fine, but, you know, there, do that when there's a real war or something, you know. It would totally, yeah. I, you know, a couple of times when I went to jobs, I ended up, when we got openings, that, that would fit friends of mine that I loved working with. I, I, you know, come, come apply here. And so there are a few people that I worked at multiple places with, you know, over the years. Yeah, you do. Yeah, and that continuity helped a lot. Yeah. Yeah, because you, you have to be able to know you can trust them, right? And you rely, you know, when you, when you, that can recommend someone, you just like, you better do me good, you know. Don't mess my recommendation, you know, profile, you know, what I do. So no, no, I think the whole thing friendship is, it's fun. It's fun. You know, you can get through so much together. Okay, so I have to bring up the VPs because I think you bring them up a lot. Tell us about the VPs because I started listening to them because of you and I like them. So tell everybody about the VPs if they don't know about the VPs. Well, they were a husband and wife team that, you know, is real contained together for over a decade. They, they, interestingly, they, they divorced. And then they stayed together for a while after they're divorced, but then they finally broke up the band as well. But they're both doing, you know, independent things now. But they just, they're, they're music, they're, for one thing, their guitar works just brilliant. Like, I love their, most of their songs are for a guitar bass. And they're, they both have very different waifs. Deb Townland has such a, it's all like a child-like quality turn of waste. And they, their songs are really brilliant. Like, just, there's some of my favorite songwriters. They just, they write about interesting things in a, they have an interesting take on things. And, and they tend to write a lot about, about life and about love and, and many other songs are uplifting. And they offer, their music offering gets used in movies and TV shows because it's the kind of, kind of soundtrack thing that, you know, it, it, because it's such a great commentary on life, their songs naturally lend themselves to, you know, sort of making a musical commentary on a scene that's happening in the movie or TV show. Like, there's some, the world spins madly on. It's maybe their most popular song. And it's been made into so many beautiful music videos. One of them is, it's in bed with animation. And I highly recommend watching it. It's, it's, it's heartbreaking and beautiful. It, it, it, it, there's a line in the song that says I thought of you and that the, the person who did the animation video calls the video, I thought of you. But the song is, is um, the world spins madly on. But the song I picked for the, the list, to me it makes me think about, about friendship, even though it's not specifically about friendship, but it, um, but, you know, I'll be your sunflower. And it's just because when I think of my friends that I love, they're like sunflowers in my life. I talk when I pick sunflowers for our wedding when we got married. That was the flower we used. And it's, they're just bright and cheery and, but also, I think sunflowers is very strong in the flower world. They're not, they're not dainty flowers. And they can get really big too. And um, they just, I don't know, they're just, I love that they are. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. So I think it's, yeah, sunflowers are great analogy for friendship for me. And so I just, that song popped in my head. And even though it doesn't specifically say you're my friend or anything, it just, I just think of friendship with that fun. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. And then there's a whole thing about becoming friends after being lovers, right? Like let's just be friends. And, and some people can, and then there's friends with benefits. Um, hmm, then there, then that, then it didn't work out so well. You know, sometimes you just have to, you know, each to their own. Um, but yeah, friendship has many ways, isn't it? Yeah. Well, Paco and I went through that. I mean, we were together, and then there was about a three year period where we were not. And we stayed friends the whole time. And I, I, I can only speak for myself. I never stopped loving him, but it was just, you know, we broke up for, you know, different reasons. But um, I, I wanted him to be happy. So I learned a lot about loving a person and letting, if you love them, you know, that, that's things wrong, you know, when you love someone set them free, I, I really, to my core, I let him go. And I, I, I, I, because I wanted him to be happy and I pray to his happiness every day. And then eventually he found his way back to me. So our relationship has actually gone through different phases. And he is my, you know, I mean, Roger's my best friend in, in childhood ways, but then Paco's also my best friend in terms of, you know, we were just soul mates and we're just, yeah, yeah. And so, um, yeah. And so, yeah, that, right, when you, when you just mentioned that there, I thought of the toddler and grandson, um, can we still be friends, which is one of my ultimate favorite songs. And, you know, we can't play this game anymore, but can we still be friends? Yeah, I like that. I like that. Yeah. For sure. That, then there's, um, we've got that, can we still be friends? And that's, uh, you got Todd, you got Todd run, run, Grinn. And then why can't we be friends by war? We like that. Can't be friends by Frank Sinatra. See, you got a lot going on there. You know, but, yeah, there's so much. You've got the golden girls. I know you've got that. And then like theme songs, like song tracks. And you had to put in, oh, Ricky Lee Jones. See. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. And that went to, um, that songs not specifically about friendship, but it's just about, about, um, for people that, well, friends that share music, Sarah love music. And so, jukebox theory, it's just a really, it's such a cold song. And it just, it's just sort of dropping in on two friends who are connected through music. But that's how I see that far. And so I just, again, but I'm connected to so many people through music that I just thought that was a great time to include. I like it. I like it. We got some good songs on there. So the list is we've got it all listed in there because you've got so I'm going to be adding some in there. You can put Garth Brooks friends in low places. Got him in there. You come on. You got to have some of that, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Here's, you've got yours. You've got, um, here's what I want and waves. You've got those songs from you in there, which is good. And here's what I want is about telling somebody to be themselves, you know, giving them the permission to, you know, just be their authentic self. That is how I want to go. Yeah. And waves is about, uh, you know, um, two friends who they get their life by going and hanging out. And I used to live on the coast when I was in college. And I, I had a friend that, you know, we were just going to be two and we needed to get away. And that part of it just kind of came out of that. No, no, that's true. And that's a thing. Your friends know you, right? And it's like, you know, you've got some really good friends that, you know, they can see you at your worst. Yeah. And your best. Yeah. You know, the same person is. And they don't, and they don't judge. If you're, you're worse, they don't judge. They might, they might gently let you know, well, you know, this may not be hard play those. Yeah. Some, you know, come, some of those moments of, Hey, you know, I didn't mean this at all, like Holy cow. And that's the thing about having a relationship is communication. Now you do the communication and forgiveness and, you know, boundaries also, you know, it's like, yeah, that's, it's a big deal, but friendships are crucial in life. So that's, that's, I'm so glad we covered that on the show today. Because in music, the music, you know, keeps that at the forefront. Music and movies, books, I mean, it's always about friendships, you know. Well, I think the reason that people love the Golden Girls is it's just a very big personality, you know, and they, they love each other and they think and then and they fight and they laugh and they eat cheesecake. And, you know, it's just a, it's, it's sharing life. And so I think that's why I don't show. Yeah. Yeah. We always, a lot of times we'll watch it and we'll end up, let's get some cheesecake. I know. But they would have those chats. All right, let's get to the kitchen, kitchen table, you know, totally. Yeah. I mean, even if you look at cheers, that's about friends and a bar. You know, it is. Yeah. Obviously. And then sign friends. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Friends. Yeah. Yeah. Friends. Friends did some fun, fun stuff and friends. I love sign felt because it is about that. And the brokenness, you know, and laughing and being able to laugh at each other is the other part man, laughing. That's good. Laughter is good. That's what it's about. But yeah, I, the golden girls, I always crack up on. Oh, yeah. That's our good. See, when we need to pick me up, we just want to make the photos here of gold girls and. Well, they were strong about stuff and different issues, especially for when they came out, you know, they were very strong, especially mod. What? What's her? What's her real name? Be Arthur. Be Arthur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, she was in the military, right? No, I didn't know that, but that makes sense. Yeah. Don't mess with her. Don't. She was always so authoritative. And then you'd have Blanche, Deborah, you know. And then the mom, Rose is always like silly, but those had her strong moments too. Each one had a different strength. And that's something that's so fun. But there was just issues and things like they took on like you just were like, Oh, they're doing that. Oh, they're doing this. Oh, wow. You know, I don't know. I don't really watch those kinds of things anymore other than the older things. You know, I don't, I don't really want sitcoms or anything like that now. I don't know. Just doesn't. I don't know. Do you? Do you watch that kind of stuff? Well, I mean, I think, I think they've, they've changed. I mean, you know, yeah, I don't, the ones that I watch tend to be the ones, you know, like they're, go like I said, golden girls, we still watch golden girl all the time. And but for newer shows, I think a lot of them you know, nowadays they they're more superficial. I don't think I don't know. It's yeah, it's different now. You're right. It's it's not the same. It's not as doesn't have the meat and the grit to it. And I think everything is because it's so squeaky clean about stuff that it's like you're not allowed to fall. I don't know. It's just different. That's all I can say is that we we enjoy a resident alien. And if you've seen it, it's kind of a sci-fi. It's brilliant. And it in an odd way, it's it's very, very funny. So it's like a modern sitcom because it's it's a situation where this guy, this alien gets, he crashes on earth and he takes over the body of of a local in a small town. And then he tries to navigate, you know, life. And he's he's actually sent to destroy the earth. But then as he starts to meet people, he gets complicated because he starts to develop attachment to people. And and so it's I see it as definitely a situation comedy, but it's it is more realistic and modern and and part of the the brilliance and the comedy of it is it the way I mean, in the acting, I can't remember the guy's name, unfortunately, the star of the show, but he's fantastic. And just the way that, you know, he's looking at the world for the first time, you know, humanity for the first time. And so the the sort of innocence that he looked at things up, but it's also sort of a cynical innocence. And so it's just a brilliant show. We really love it. Okay, I'm all about aliens. Let's do it, man. One thing closing I want to say is sometimes people that started off not liking each other end up becoming really good friends. It's like, in opposite track, even just in romantic relationships, right? And isn't that funny? Because I think it goes back to even when we were in school, like, if we, you know, really mess with someone, there was like an attraction, whether it's romantic or like, right? Isn't it? Yeah, I think that's interesting in life because whatever is bugging you means you have a little bit of that in you, I think. I don't know how that works. Interesting that you say that because there there is somebody that I knew in high school who was always kind of mean to me and didn't like me. Just recently we ended up talking and he ended up being gay also. And he said at the time, I'm so sorry because I just, at the time, I couldn't, you were what I hated in myself and I couldn't be with it. And so I lost out of you. Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of, it's kind of coming full circle and kind of a healing venue that we were able to connect and, you know, and talk to you that. Well, so do you remember people in high school better than me probably because you have this community still around you? And, you know, I remember my close friends, you know, obviously, but then I remember some people and they have no clue who I am. And I'm like, but I remember you, we wrote this dirty song together. And then they thought I was next. I was like, no, remember, we wrote this. I remember this. We were really bad. And they're like, we know I never would anything like that and didn't know anybody by. I'm like, okay, this connected from Facebook. And I'm like, it wasn't that bad. Supposing was, but why didn't you think we were funny? They're like, I don't remember you. I'm like, are you lying right now? Are you? We did. We wrote it. We did it. It was funny. Nothing that I would repeat on the show, funny. But apparently they don't remember that about themselves. And I was quite proud of it, but they worked. So that is funny how that happens, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, gosh. But I wonder about kids now with social media, like it's a joy to reconnect and everything, but then it's can also turn into the negative. So it goes back to that authenticity that we're talking about instead of blindsided friends running over them, you know, really being there for each other for stuff is so crucial. You know, so good to your friends, be true to your school, man. Johnny, thank you as always so much fun and to talk about friends. I could talk about friends all day long, but then I'll start sharing stories. None of them want me to otherwise they'll disconnect me from Facebook. Anyway, everyone can keep up with Johnny and hear of johnny.com also go to Facebook. And that's is that under here, Johnny, too? That's Johnny Shafer YouTube. You're coming to you for with the blue check with the blue check mark. Yeah. Okay. Johnny Shafer musician. He's been verified. But people should follow you on YouTube now because you have a release coming down the road. So I did not want to let that go. So it's going to be roughly the middle of this month that a release will happen. Yes. And it's my most it's the song I spent the most time writing of any song I've ever done and produced it actually. We were very we really poured over every note and every lyric in this phone because it's a really intense message. It's called when it's your kid. And it deals with very heavy heavy subject matter. And if you haven't subscribed to my YouTube channel, if you just type at here, Johnny and the YouTube search bar, it'll come right up and you can just subscribe and hit the notification bell and you'll get notifications when we're getting ready to release it. And my Instagram is also @HearJohnny and my TikTok @HearJohnny. So those are all places that you can get plugged in. So sign up for my newsletter. I always talk about the podcasts in my newsletters. And so it's a great way to also get all these links and everything. Whenever we release an idea of podcast together, I send out an email and then it has links to everything. So that's another way to connect with this too. I like your newsletters. You always tell stories. It's cool because so many people just are always promotion promotion promotion. And I'm like, I want to like an email like a letter, you know, like when we used to write and say something, yeah, something of value. So and you do that. And so that's a rare thing these days. So thanks for that. And for sharing what's happening on the podcast. So everyone, go call your friends. Like don't just text them, call them, call them and do a video chat. Who cares what you look like if you just woke up? Who cares? Call them. Yeah, get in touch with your friends. And if you've been thinking of a friend that you haven't talked to for years, maybe this is the day. It's a national friendship day. This is the day to do it. This is the month for sure. So let's do it friendship going, and especially during these crazy political times. Don't let politicians divide friendship. You don't know them. They all have who we're voting for and why and what what all that. But remember friendship is a bond that came from something positive that united you. So remember that part. And even if you have a problem with friends, think about why you connected in the first place. That's important. So don't let politics ruin actual care and love between two people. I love that one. That is real. I think that is I'm stealing that from my friend Cheryl, Ogle, who's been on the shows. I can't say it the same way she did. This was back on the last election. And she says, don't let two old men don't let two old men break up friendships and families when you've never met them. And so now I can't say two old men. But you know, we don't want anyway, people don't and I mean that on all politicians. So I really mean it that way. Politicians break up families, friendships, if possible. And you know, remember the good stuff. And maybe sometimes just either say we're going to have a discussion without being mean or cruel or argue. If you're going to have a political discussion or just don't have one for a while, just say, you know what, you do your thing. I'll do mine. But let's focus on other things we like, like dogs, chocolate, ice cream, pecan pie, wine, travel, music. I'm hungry. I want some pecan pie with ice cream. I can't think of pecans like that anymore, but I will once I will have some. But oh, yes. Oh, pecan pie with ice cream. Oh, with a bourbon sauce on top. Johnny, let's do it now. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's eat that pie. Speaking of that, I'm going to close with this fun story. So way back in the day, I thought it could be a vegan. Yeah, it really did help my body because I had so many allergies and things coming here and didn't know like my body went through hell. So I went vegan. And when I was eating pure whole foods, oh, I lost weight and I actually had like fit muscles and I was good. And then I processed stuff. So that sucked. But this was when, and then my hair came on, I was allergic to soy and I didn't know that and all these bad things happened. But if you just eat whole foods, you're fine. And you have to really work at it to be vegan. And it's very possible. And I was healthy and happy. But here's the thing. So, you know, cake was out because you don't know what's in the cake. And I was at the point of no hydrogenated oils, none of that. Like really, as a friend said, you can't eat anything that casts a shadow and it was getting to that ridiculous level. And so anyway, we were doing a gig. This was up when we lived in Julian in the mountains. I mean, it was like, and the gig was over and we were at this lodge, pine hills lodge. I remember there was a wedding at the lodge. And it was like one, two in the morning and a friend of I. And they had this carrot cake. And it was left. And him and I had been vegan. We, I think we both started together doing it, you know, and he's a Native American guy who's just like, no, I don't want to eat meat. We've killed so many animals. We've done all anyway. We both looked at this cake. And I don't, all I know is the two of us demolished an entire carrot cake right there. Because we hadn't had anything good for so long. Because none of us knew, I mean, baked goods way back when it's vegans, if you didn't make them yourself and know how to do it, really sucked. It's different now. Now it's better. But we, we're just like, the only thing that's in there is a little bit of milk and some eggs, we can do this. And anybody you wanted sound, we were just, we were like angry dogs, like leave us alone. This is ours. And we devoured that cake. I think there was some left a little bit, but we at icing on faces the whole nine yards crazy. And that's what friends do. You go in together and you know you're not going to feel good the next morning. We didn't, we did not feel good the next morning. But that moment was pure bliss, carrot cake bliss. A good, and it was good carrot cake. It was moist. You could taste a little slight, the grated carrot, like it was there. It was the perfect carrot cake. The right kind of. Was the teen pea barking? Yes, it was the perfect one. And even had the carrot on it, at the top. Oh my god. What's up? I want some carrot cake. We have a restaurant in Pasadena called shakers that have marvelous cheesecake, so you're not going to have to get them now. I know cheesecake, carrot cake, ice cream pecan pie. This is what friends are about. Well, there you go, everybody. Go split some good desserts with your best friend or something you're not supposed to, just for the fun of it. Whatever. You know, find something you can do if there's a health restriction. But if you're allowed to have something a little naughty, that's the time to do it with your best friend, be naughty. Go skinny dipping in summer. All right, which I've done quite a few times. Yep. Yep. And you get in the ocean, you wonder what that is by your leg. Yeah, not a good feeling. All right. Thanks so much, Johnny. You take care. Thank you. You too. Thanks everyone for joining us. Thank you for listening to Big Blend Radio. Keep up with our shows at bigblendradio.com.
