Feeling overwhelmed by the clutter in your home? Constantly chasing perfection and getting nowhere? This episode is for you!
Join me as I share five mindset shifts that have transformed my home and life. These easy-to-implement tips will help you create a more peaceful, organized, and joyful living space. Whether you're new to decluttering or have been at it for years, you'll find inspiration to make real, meaningful changes without stressing about perfection.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- Progress, Not Perfection: Ditch the unrealistic standards and embrace progress over perfection. Trust me, it’s liberating!
- Your Home Reflecting Your Values: How to make your home support and reflect your family’s values and lifestyle.
- Letting Go of Museum-Like Standards: Why a lived-in home is a happy home and how to enjoy a more relaxed, functional space.
- Protecting Your Time and Energy: Tips for valuing and safeguarding your time and energy to avoid burnout and increase happiness.
- Embracing Simplicity: Discover the joy of simplifying your life and why you deserve it.
I’ll also share some real-life stories, like how one of my clients transformed her pristine but unused living room into the heart of her home.
Don't forget to grab my free guide, "75 Things You Can Declutter Today" to kickstart your decluttering journey and see immediate results.
Tune in and start creating a home that truly supports your well-being and happiness. Ready, set, simplify!
What does it mean to live more with less? I'm Katie Wells, and welcome to the Maximized Minimalist Podcast. If you found yourself caught up in the hamster wheel of modern-day motherhood and want to rewrite the scripts, congratulations, you're in the right place. I'm here to be your guide and help you take back your motherhood and achieve a simpler, more joy-filled life. Cheers to being a Maximized Minimalist. Enjoy the show. You live in your home every day, so let's make it your favorite place to be. I want you to head to kdjoywells.com/declutter and get my brand-new free guide called 75 Things You Can Declutter Today. Those of you who have already gotten your hands on this are loving it, I'm loving what everyone's sharing, but it is packed with easy and I mean like easy, easy, easy things you can declutter to make immediate progress and feel an instant improvement in your home. I'm hearing people saying they feel less stressed even after just five minutes of using this guide and it's giving you some great ideas of simple things to let go so you can feel better in your home. Today, I am excited to share with you five mindset reframes that have really radically improved my home and I would also say my life in a lot of ways. And these shifts in thinking have not only helped me create a more peaceful physical and mental environment, but they've also brought to cis general sense of ease and joy into more of my daily routines and what many people would consider the mundane. And I hope they offer the same for you. Number one is progress, not perfection. It transformed it to decluttering many, many years ago, an organization and everything in life really. It's bled into parenting, fitness, like all these different categories. I'm like progress, not perfection, progress, not perfection. And one reason this is important for me is because for the longest time, I used to get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect or trying to appear perfect. And it's a journey I'm still working on, but Lord, it's so much better than it used to be. I went from like everything crazy cluttered in my house to thinking and I think this is part of what we're sold to as specifically women, but people in general, like the golden standard is this perfectly organized, beautiful house that always looks picture perfect. And I thought, Oh, well, that's the end goal. So I need to stress constantly, constantly shame myself, constantly criticize myself and my family and judge us because we're just not up to par. We're not doing good enough. We need to declutter more. We need to not make any mess. We need to not have any fun. We just need to live in a museum. And I know, you know, it sounds silly to hear that, but a lot of us think it because that's the solution and the standard we're being sold on an almost day to day basis, depending on where you spend your time online, who you follow and just what your general goals are. And so once I realized, first of all, I don't even want that. I don't want this idea I'm being sold. I don't want a picture perfect tone, nor is it even possible. So really we're being sold a lie, but maybe that's another episode for another day, right? I don't want to achieve that ideal. I don't think that ideal is even realistic. So progress, not perfection is what I went to this gray area or what felt like a gray area to me, which feels uncomfortable for most people with perfectionistic tendencies. One day I was trying to reorganize my pantry with this perfect pantry in mind. This is before I had this progress, not perfection mentality. Step one, what's it say, pull everything out. Step two. When I put back in what you're going to use, you know, obviously go through expired stuff, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Step three, go out and buy $800 worth of clear bins and a label maker. Okay. Did that. And then a week later, my pantry looks like a mess again. I thought what's the point of this? My rainbow has been turned into, I don't know, like just not a rainbow anymore. So so much for that, right? And it felt amazing to be able to go. I'm just going to do a little bit at a time, work it into my schedule and, you know, again, change the golden standard progress, not perfection. And I think embracing that has allowed me to move forward without the pressure of getting everything exactly right. Like we're going to mess up. We're going to do it how, you know, all the declutter gurus tell us not to do it. Do it all at once. Do it all at once. So you can have your beautiful before and after and you can feel satisfied. What about sustainability? You know, that approach really is about you changing your routine and your lifestyle to fit decluttering into it. I don't know about you, but I don't have four, six, eight, ten hours of time in my day to go through my closet. That system works all in one go system works. If you're in maintenance mode or if you have a strong declutter muscle or if you've decluttered a ton of your stuff already, but for the rest of us who especially back in the day, I had so much clutter, I think it just reinforced and perpetuated the idea that if I can't do it right, if I can't do it how this checklist says and all the experts are saying, what's the point of doing it at all? And then it would become a once a year purge and the other 364 days of the year, I would be overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated by the clutter. And it helps you focus progress over perfection, helps you move past that mindset and gives you freedom to make changes gradually and just appreciate the journey and the during rather than just the destination. And so where in your life can you shift your focus from perfection to progress and how might that change your approach? Okay, so think about that. Number two, my home should actively support and reflect our family's values and lifestyle. Clutter is counterintuitive to the statement, I cannot live in a home that supports me and reflects my values and lifestyle when I'm bogged down by all the junk that doesn't matter. That's weighing me down. That's literally distracting me and pulling me away from everything that's important to me in life. This was a game changer for me. I realized that my home wasn't just a place to store our stuff. It was a place that should work hard for us and support our daily lives. One of my favorite ideas, I think I heard this from Jennifer Mary maybe an episode I did many years ago, she's like a personal stylist and she goes, Katie, we all need to make our clothes work harder for us. And I was like, ooh, I love that. And then I thought, dang, that's exactly what I've been doing and working on in this journey of simplifying, but from a home level, just zoomed out a little bit more. Make your home work hard for you. A few years ago, one of my students moved into a new house and was so excited, I think like a lot of us to like have a fresh start and decorate and make your own and find new furniture. But she found herself copying trends she saw online rather than thinking about what truly fit her family's needs. Like me, she went out and paid, I don't know, a couple thousand dollars in all these organizing bins and all these kind of frou-frou in my opinion, unnecessary at times organizing elements. And after being in the house for several months, she realized that her living room, which looked beautiful, it looked like it was a pottery barn, you know, ad it really did. And she was so proud of it and she loved it. But she realized she's like, it wasn't, it wasn't being used at all. And it was so tidy that actually she didn't want anyone to go in there and mess it up. So this idea of the purpose of a living room, for her, she didn't really consider it the purpose of the living room she wanted to connect, to play games, to watch TV, to hang out, to laugh, to like sit with friends. But now it was like this museum like status where no one go in there or mom's gonna like flip out. So it wasn't able to fulfill its purpose, even though there wasn't clutter in there, right? So this doesn't, there's always two sides of the coin. And it hit her that the setup she created wasn't conducive to her family's activities, right? They love doing board games, they love doing puzzles and movie nights, but the layout and how she designed it wasn't supporting those activities. So what did she do? She rearranged the furniture to create a cozy game and movie area. She allowed the kids to go in there. She shifted some of the things that lived in there, right? The purpose of her room should drive the items that live in the room, right? So for her board games and puzzles got moved into the room in a little pretty, you know, cabinet. And suddenly the room became the heart of her home. And we worked on that together and I'm telling you what, every day she is so thankful, so thankful she feels the daily impact of just making a couple of different decisions and making her homework harder for her. This reframe can help us create spaces that are not only beautiful, it's not like your home has to like, oh, people are using it and now it's going to be a disaster again. No, it can still be beautiful, but it's also going to be functional and meaningful. Our home should feel like a true reflection of who we are now and what we value as a family. And guess what? That changes over time. You're not the same person you were five years ago. Are you? What about 10 years ago, 20 years ago, two decades? I can't believe I'm at an age where I can say two decades ago. I feel like that should be the 80s. It's actually the 2000s, 20 years ago. Your family isn't the same person they were five, 10, 20 years ago either. Just like we mature, we grow and our seasons change, so should our home to reflect that. So does your home reflect your family's values and lifestyle? Maybe there's a particular room or two you're thinking of as we talked about that. What changes can you make to the room and space to make a better align with your needs? Number three, my home doesn't need to look like a museum. As I mentioned for a long time, I felt pressured to maintain a pristine picture perfect home. And what's funny about this is I was never anywhere close like that, that client of mine I just shared, her pristine, perfect living room. I never even got that far. I just was constantly striving for it. I was constantly stressing out. I was chasing my kids around the house. I was telling them, no, we can't bake because you're going to make a big mess. And I don't want to clean it up. I was so fearful of mess, just regular mess, not even clutter. I used to stress out every time we had guests coming over, rushing around to make sure everything was as spotless and perfect as it could be, which still, again, it wasn't anywhere close. And one day, a close friend stopped by unexpectedly, it's like our worst nightmare, right? At least it used to be. Now I'm like, I welcome it. I didn't have time to tidy up. So I was like, oh, my gosh, what's she going to think of me? What's she going to think of my house? Oh, it was so mortified when she walked through the front door. And then later to my surprise, she said, oh, your home was so warm and inviting. I loved spending time with you guys there. And I was like, oh, that's not what people are paying attention to. They don't come into your home to like wipe their finger on your dustboard and judge you. And if they do, that's no friend of mine. And so that was a turning point for me to realize like, even if she did judge me and just didn't openly share it, that's one thing. It is what it is. But for her to go, wow, like I just love spending time with you. Like that's the purpose, isn't it, of a home is to help work hard for us and help us connect as a family, invite people over, do these things, have these hobbies, execute and practice these passions, read books, whatever we're interested in. It doesn't need to look like a museum. And I've come to understand that a lived in home is a happy home. Letting go of the need for perfection has made our home more relaxed and enjoyable. And also for me, I'm way more relaxed and enjoyable to be around. It's a space where we can live and make memories without this constant pressure to keep everything immaculate. So my question for you is, are you striving for a picture perfect tone and how might embracing a more lived in space bring more joy and relaxation into your life? Number four, my time and energy are valuable and deserve to be protected. This was a big one for me, especially as a busy mom who I think had the tendency to just say yes to a lot of things. I've never been a people pleaser by any means, but I said yes too much. Every request, every invitation, thinking I had to be everything to everyone. And this left me feeling exhausted and depleted. And one weekend I found myself so burnt out, honestly every weekend I felt burnt out from the week. I was unable to enjoy time with my family because I was so drained. And I thought, you know what, this was during my declutter process. And I think one of the amazing side effects of decluttering your physical possessions is it opens up actual time and space for reflection. And I thought I'm doing all these things. I'm spending all this time investing my time decluttering. And I also need to declutter some of this other stuff, these other commitments in my life because they're just draining me and they, just like the physical clutter, are taking me away from my friends and my family. And this reframe has been so liberating. It's allowed me to be more present and engaged in activities and relationships. The ones that really matter. And I've learned to protect, just like I protect my home, I've learned to protect my time and energy. And as a result, I'm 100% more happier and way more fulfilled. It's like you're putting the energy towards the few things that matter instead of putting your energy towards 8 billion that at the end of your life aren't going to make a difference. How can you start valuing and protecting your time and energy and what boundaries might you need to set to do so. And number five, and this one makes me tear up, I deserve simplicity. You deserve simplicity. This one is about giving ourselves permission to embrace a simpler, intentional way of living that is counterintuitive to what we were being sold on a daily basis. Because influencers, we just talked about influencers last week, right? I talked about all the positive things. All these people, we are constantly being sold a way of life that takes us away from what we know in our deepest core of course, our innate intelligence. We know simplicity is best, but sometimes we get so caught up in trying to keep up with the Jones, trying to keep up with our neighbors, trying to look a certain way or feel a certain feeling or buy our way into a happier life. All of that drives us away from what we really know deep down. You deserve simplicity. I used to believe that more was better because everyone believed that. What culture teaches us, more activities, more stuff, more commitments. But this mindset left me feeling so overwhelmed and one day I decided again, declutter, not just my physical space, my schedule and my mind and my belief. We have to declutter so many of these beliefs in order to shift the way we take action. I simplified our routines, possessions, focused on what brought us joy and peace from cleaning out clutter in our home to whatever, teaching my kids how to pick up after themselves and participate in running a home and so much more. And I want to say something here too because I know it can feel anything but simple to teach our kids how to clean their room or how to do laundry. A lot of us might feel, oh, it's just easier if I do it or it's going to take too much time. I'll be honest, that's a really short-sighted way of looking at things. I tend to do that too. Yes, it takes time and patience to teach and follow up with these habits and life skills, but it simplifies things in the long term. For instance, teaching my boys to pick up after themselves and to contribute to household chores not only lightened my load, but also empowered them with life skills. And I would equate that to, that's simplicity, right? That is simple, being able to pick up after yourself. I would put that under definition in term of simplicity, even though to get them to the point where they are now with their life skills sometimes feels like anything but we have to think more long term. And embracing simplicity in all its forms has brought a sense of peace and clarity to my life. Our home isn't perfect and I don't care. It feels more harmonious and balanced. We have more time and energy for the things that matter. If we want to go camping last minute, we load up the camper, we hit the grocery store, we're off. If we want to have friends over for charades or a board game, give me 10 minutes to clean off the counters. Or even if they show up with junk on the counters, I don't really care. More time together, connection, pursuing hobbies. Really enjoying the moment and simplifying possessions in routines has allowed me to focus on what brings us fulfillment rather than constantly being bogged down by all the extra. So what steps can you take to simplify your life and how might embracing simplicity improve your day to day or your overall well-being? You deserve simplicity, take a deep breath and say it with me, right? I deserve simplicity. Alright, let's recap. Progress not perfection, creating a home that supports our values, letting go of the museum like standards, protecting our time and energy, and embracing simplicity. I hope, friend, just like these have changed my life and my home, that these insights inspire you to make positive changes as well. Don't forget to grab my free guide, 75 Things You Can Declutter Today to make immediate progress and feel an instant improvement in your home. It is perfect if you want the results without spending all the time. It is a great jump starter, whether you've decluttered for years in the past or you're just getting started. Head to kdjoywells.com/declutter and I'll send it over to your inbox. You know what to do. Ready, set, simplify and I'll see you next week.
