Get ready for going viral Get ready for going viral Hello everyone and welcome back to another installment of the viral podcast. I'm your host Chelsea Lynn and I'm your host Paige Jin. We have Maggie over there and I know you guys hate when I say this but we got a big surprise. We got a big surprise. And there's actually a surprise this time. We have a very special guest, a entrepreneur, a comedian, a riser, a regular on Kill Tony and along with him he brought his dad Kenny. Yes. Kenny is here and can I just say Kenny is already just a daddy and one of the coolest dudes ever. Thank you so much. We're already calling him shrimp daddy. She's a shrimp daddy. Little dicky and we also have Maggie here but her and Kenny are sharing a mic so yeah so so oh yeah you have it. It's almost so thank y'all. Maggie thanks I need to say something just scream okay we'll hear. I got so much to say right now. Dude look at Kenny's glasses already fogging up. He's just happy to be here. I love it. Well thank you guys for being here and if you're listening or watching and you don't know who Cam Patterson is what you doing? Yeah you should know. I think most people do but for anyone that doesn't you know like let's just for a minute talk about talk about you how long you're gonna stand up. It's about three years. Me too. Three hell yeah. Do you feel like you're still brand new or do you feel like you're a veteran? Still brand new. Same. Well baby. Same. Yeah say say so long and get good at this. I'm a I'm like an itty bitty grater rice. That's how I feel. I'm trying to figure it out. Yeah hey but you know those little pieces of grains of rice can get little words written on them. Get put in an necklace. Yeah yeah. They can be powerful. Yeah they can be powerful getting their rice you know. Maybe like a little bitty. Maybe like a maybe like a tree like a seed of a tree. I like it. Like a seed plant like a like a like a seed. Yeah I feel like a little bit of seed. Or a little viney sausage. Mm-hmm. This is a little viney sausage. Yeah. Small itty bitty viney sausage. Right. Right. That can grow into a bit. A big club. A big club boss. A big one goisa. Like his dick. You the one that swept that in brother. I'm sorry. If I got a little dick I got it from somewhere. Yeah. Father. Shrimp daddy. Uncle on your mama's side. Oh. On your mama's side. I mean I was messed up. Oh. He said that. Uh-oh. We told him about the timer before he started. Nobody. Nobody. No I didn't because. Nobody heard that. We were all talking. I was freaked up. Nobody. It's okay. We just lost a couple hundred dollars from that. No. She's lying. I'm just lying. I didn't have my radio one time. I didn't have my radio. Yeah. I feel so bad. But I thought myself like y'all just get a podcast. This is crazy. Yeah. Having rules. Like what is it? Is it still the FCC won't let me be? Oh. Morning radio. They are every time I do an interview. I mean they like laid down the law before. Like don't say that they're so scared that I'm gonna say something. They be terrified of me. Yeah. I bet. Oh they be terrified. And then it's like I don't. Yeah. I get it. I get it. I get it. Don't invite people on your show that say the F word. Don't invite trailer trash tanning on the show. Thinking I'm gonna give a positive sermon. Yeah. What are they thinking? I'm gonna be smashing my boobs or whatever. Um so you guys are from Florida? Yeah. What are they? You still live there? He do. I live in Texas now. Yeah you live in Austin. Good old Texas boy. How you liking it? I like it a lot. It's a lot of white people but it's cool. Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite barbecue? Barbecue? Yeah I say tell you like Terry. It's the best one. I ain't been nowhere else really. To me you don't need to go anywhere else. Yeah. Whatever their places are their hutchons or that's in Dallas. Oh. Um they have there's one that is like super super famous that like the line is around the Franklin Franklin's. Yeah I ain't been there. Yeah every time I try to go and sit like they sit out through. Listen it's good. Is it better than Terry Black? Terry Black's is crazy. You got all the turkey breasts from Terry Black's? Yeah. Yes. I haven't I haven't recently. I was so I don't like turkey breasts. Not a big turkey fan but one down my grandma in my grand can of town. I want to get them everything. So I got a turkey breast from my grandma because she like turkey breast and I'm gonna try a little bit. It changed my life. It's unreal. Bro. Turkey. A turkey breast changing lines. It's not like the turkey at Thanksgiving. No. That's what we said. What's so different about it. I don't know what they do. It's smoked with me baby. Put a little crack in it. It's something delicious about it. I mean it's just like wherever they cook it it's like my grandma don't do that. Soft, empty, melt in your mouth. I mean it is unbelievable. You wouldn't think getting turkey at a barbecue place would be or be delicious but it's it's one of my number one things I get. It's I I would only get that from home. I like the I like the real the real five. The bricks are cool. Everybody love brisket. I'm not even brisket. I'm not that big with brisket fan. I love brisket. It's cool. It's a beef. It's like a lot of fat. A little bit of meat. You know what I'm saying? But that turkey don't work. Oh gosh it's so good. What's your favorite sides? Sides. Oh they got the corn they got the corn and green beans. Oh I love green beans. Green beans five. Green beans bananas hands. Your name it. We got to go to Austin and get us some barbecue. Oh gosh we just got to go back. I've only been once. Oh gosh I love Austin. Can you can you tell us about the first time you were on Kill Tony? Like how often did you apply to be on it before you got on? Man I'll sign up for like like ten weeks. Wow. Ten weeks and when he won't meet the first couple time he was there with me in the I'll tell you the funniest thing right. So we we sitting there we sitting in the back alleyway. He said we waiting to wait for me to get pulled and a wrong white is walking into the mothership and I go oh dad that's I see you know what that is. He said of course I know who that is. I said who was there? He goes that's Joe Broken. Oh shit. They were so serious. That's Joe Broken. So you think all white people look exactly exactly. Whoa okay. That's funny. Yeah I can I mean that's funny. It had me dying. He was so super serious. Like now that's Joe Broken. Joe Broken is ball. Raw white has hair. Raw white hair. Completely different. That's Joe 100% he had a wheel he's trying to be in disguise right now. He walked through the back way. I know what's going on. I'm like Kenny because I don't know who anybody looks like. So I'd be thinking like that. Oh I keep swearing. Y'all are the same. We got three more minutes. No we don't. We're doing good though. We're doing pretty good. We are doing good. I thought I was going to be deep into it. That Tony thing was serious. Like 400 people for five slots and like oh my goodness. I mean yeah. Were you there the first night he did Kill Tony? No he wasn't there. No. So the first two times I think I signed up he with me and then maybe one another time when he came back and then the the temp time when I signed up I signed up but I would I just was like that was doing that was like a short street. I'm gonna do a short street and I was like I'm just not getting pulled. Yeah. It's much weird those needs all the way. Like it was just like it was just strange. So I'm kind of I'm kind of just done. So I probably signed up every once in a while after this but I ain't gonna do too much no move and then I went to do the show and then uh uh I wasn't even gonna come back. I wasn't coming back I was like man I'm just chill here network talk to people stuff like I was still doing the scene and stuff and then um I had got some good news about something and so I decided to uh my roommate my dog white cam he stayed he was acting he was at the sign up. I went back to go tell him about the good news and right when I went back they pulled my name. Oh my. So what happened? Someone came out and just said cam Patterson. Yeah. What are you? As soon as I got there. Did you see that or what? Now it was it was weird. It was crazy because like it felt like it felt like something it felt insane because I was it was raining like it was raining like crazy. It wasn't an alley with no more. It moved to like a bar next door. Oh my. So I had to run through. I got slides on my feet. It was wet. I ran through the run through a deep putter. Went inside and was just now just I ain't know what I was. I ain't no joke off and do until I took the microphone. Now. Wow. I could oh my gosh. Yeah I know I did. How much time did you have from the time your name was called until you're on stage? Well they had it. So I think David Lucas was on right before me and then when he was on he talked a little bit. He talked a lot and then so I had time to really like gather my thoughts up like that. And so I might probably have like six, seven minutes. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's what you work for though. Yeah. That's what that's what that's what's so great about the show. If you putting up time and work and you got a pool and you but you should be ready. You know what I'm saying? Some people aren't. I think you're 100% and that's also that's also a great part so it's like okay that's what happened when you're not ready. Exactly. So you know what I'm saying? When you when you saw that for that bucket it could be your day. Are you to the point now where you're past the bucket you they just have you on when you want to. I'm on every I'm on every I'm a regular. So every certain every Monday I got to have a new minute ready to go. That's awesome. That'd be so hard to come up with a new minute every week I would be. I'm kind of getting it down. I'm kind of figuring it out but it's a it's like everything. They got us ups and downs and stuff. Yeah. That's crazy though when you least expect to be pulled you get pulled. Yeah. I'm with that side of the book. Hey fuck you man. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Let's say one more time. Fuck you. Fuck you. Look at all my all my basketball coach that didn't put me on the court. Fuck you. Fuck you. Look at it now. Fuck you. You are pretty good. Fuck niggas. Do I'm pretty good. Look at him now. Hold on. My dad hated all my basketball coaches. That was all for you. It was all for people. Oh fuck you. You bitch ass. Yes. Coach Sars bitch ass dude. Yes. That's his name. Coach Sars. He a good guy now. He pretty cool. Oh yeah. He's up all the time. I was about to say. And then he's reached out. Yeah he hit me up. He be a real proud of you man. He do a good day. I appreciate that. Yeah. He always told me I was gonna be a comedian. So that's cool. That's good. Sometimes those people tell you that you know you need that in life and then you they stick in your head forever. 100% he's all like no you're not a bachelor player. You are a comedian. Yeah. He knew that's why I didn't play you. No he didn't. I just wasn't he just I just wasn't that great. No that's not true. What's the coach? What's the coach. Oh I had one coach that believed in me. I had one coach that believed me. He was an NBA. He also smoked crack. So we can't really trace his beliefs. Yeah. Yeah. He can't really trust. He believes but he also was a real crack kid. Yeah. He smoked a lot of crack. He tried to fight kids. He was I was my favorite to us. Isn't that coach Wally West? He was uh I told you what he about. Six eleven. Six eleven. Six eleven. Skin in here ball dude. And one day he uh we were at a practice. A new kid came to the team. He didn't know Coach Wally West was a crazy person. So he messing up the play and stuff like that. And Coach Wally West was like, "Hey man what the fuck are you doing? You fucking up." And then the kid said something back to him and he said, "Hey man, fuck you suck my dick." Right. We like 15, 14 years old. We kids. Right. The kid goes outside his dad. He tells the dad like, "Hey, Wally, the coach told me to suck his dick." Right. He come back inside his dad like my high. He's five, he's five, he's eight. He's short. Right. Coach Wally is six eleven. So he told, he told my son to suck your dick without hesitation. Coach Wally just goes, "Why would I tell your son to suck my dick? I got a wife home that could suck my dick. Fuck you." And then he went, "Did I tell that man to suck my dick?" And we all went, "Nope." Didn't I say that at all? Dang, I need that Coach Riley West mentality. That is wild. Yeah, he was a, he was a wild. He told one kid, one of my teammates he told, he said, "Hey man, fuck you." He said, "I fucking hate you." And Coach Wally went, "Fuck me? No, fuck you." And he went, "I probably wouldn't even fuck you. You probably have age." Oh my, this guy was out of control. Yeah, he was a team, he was a wild person, he was crazy. He told Cameron one day, I was calling him and I said, "Cameron, you can do your homework. Cameron, Cameron." He wasn't asking my question. He wasn't asking me. He said, "Oh, my name is Kobe. Coach told me, my name is Kobe." He believed in me. He believed in me. He really, my favorite story to tell, one day he told me, I'm the last time I ever seen, he told me, he said, "Kam, if I had you for all four years, you'd have been all American." And I saw I couldn't be it for that man. You would have been all I remember had you for all four years. And that made me feel like we walked off, maybe I was, I feel so good about it. And then another coach came up to me like, "Hey, you know he actually smokes crack." Dang, just shot it down immediately. Like to this day, you can't listen to him. He's a crack head. Oh man. Sometimes crack heads give good advice. Absolutely. And sometimes they just tell the truth. There's nothing stopping him from saying anything. Not at all. So he probably meant it and all that shit. Yeah, I love why he was a good dude, man. Shout out to why. Funnest guy in the world. Yes. Shout out. Funnest guy in the world. Thank you still smoking crack. Probably. Yeah. Oh, but he got his life together. That's up now. That's up now. Maybe he's going to call and say he's doing good. Right. Yeah. Let's help he calls him to the pod. What were you? A point guard or outside? A point guard. He was never a point guard. That's the problem. He's short, but he's always been a shooter. I'm also a five, eight. So what can we do? Well, you can get up in there and be one of those little. Yeah. It also didn't have a right hand either. You could jam around him. Yeah. Everything goes to the left. Man, did you have hopes and aspirations to do basketball, or was it just a high school thing? No, I wasn't playing basketball. That's what I was going like. Yeah, who played basketball? You could have just pulled up and shot from the logo. Man, I shot the ball in the game. Every time I shot the ball in the game, I think I'm I think we'll do I think we're in it. Right. But I got pulled out immediately. For sure. That would knock my job. Yeah. Wow. Damn. You're supposed to be there passing in a system. Fuck you. Cause I was so bad. It was losing the game and he put Cameron in for two seconds. Oh, that pissed me off. No, no, you don't even let him. Hold on. Here it goes. Let me tell you this story. It's the real story. Oh, shit, he's setting up. This is real. I like this story like Joe, no, this story. He went off there, Joe's here. Okay. This is what happened, right? So we were playing the team, the winning man, this brand new school was just open. It's brand new gym, right? This is their first home game ever. So the gym sold out and I knew could have a good team. I was like, I'm not from the plate. That's fine. But in the layup lines, it's sold out gym. I've been dream about this my whole life. Right? It's my senior. It's a sold out gym. I'm just happy to be here, right? So the game, it's a good game. I know for a fact, I'm not from the plate. I'm excited. Right? I'm just like, this is great. I got a good ticket to a good game. Just watch it. My shoes untied, right? I know I'm not getting there. Having a good time watching the game is close. We are for the beat of 10. We shouldn't be beating right now, right? We go down by two seconds left. They call the huddle, right? I'm sitting here. Let's look at that, the huddle. Coast go cam, get in the game. And you hadn't played the whole game. The Hulk, my shoe untied. I don't even know if my jersey is under my warmer. Oh, sorry. I'm like, maybe I'm not even dressed for the game. I was having a good time watching the game. I'm tying my shoes. He go, listen, look at me. Look at me. They finna inbound the ball. When they inbound the ball, I need you to steal the ball, score the ball, win the game. That's a lot. Okay? It's two seconds left. If you do not steal the ball, I need you to fail as hard as you can. Oh my God. I say no problem. I can do that. I get in the game. I don't get to steal. I fail. Hulk didn't they go, right? Time run out game over. We'll lose the game. The dude throw the ball in there. They win. They run it all. They're so excited when they first own game. It's great, right? The crowd come in. I'm sitting out sad. And, uh, Coastline, walk up to me. He just go, we lost this game because of you. No! Two seconds left. No. And I'm gonna dance. Dang. I plotted murder. I, I would have two. I was gonna kill that man. Yeah. That's what I got. I was gonna kill that man. You're like, my shoes weren't even tied. I wasn't even ready. What? I ain't play the whole game. I ain't been you. They ain't been doing all type of shit. The whole game. I've been watching. That pisses me off. I was gonna murder him. I'm telling you something. I was gonna, I was in the bathroom. I was crying a little bit. I was crying a little bit. It wasn't like, it wasn't like sad. It was like, I'm gonna kill him to you. Yeah. I'm on the bus and I had a plan. The plan, I was gonna, I was gonna kill him. We had like, you know the little things you put air into the bars with. Uh-huh. A little stab, the fuck out of that man. Oh, I was gonna stab the shit out of that. Oh, kill him with that little needle? Yeah, I was gonna be a little bit. That's gonna slow death. You could even put the needle in his ass and blow him up. Now I was gonna put it in his neck and just stop popping that motherfucking like this. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was gonna fuck him up. I was gonna fuck him up. Did you end up killing him with kindness? Oh, no. I was gonna hit him a little bit today. He cool, bro. He cool. He cool, now. But like, he did that like full-time death season. We talk about that though. We talk about just how somebody can get in a game last minute and be so crucial to a game and have fucked up. It is that like, well Chelsea missed a grounder at first base and what the championship game. We lost state championship because of my, oh yeah, we talk about, so he plays ball too. I played basketball and softball. I picked softball in college. Yeah. She played basketball. She was like all state basketball. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, we know the stories. Oh yeah. Oh, the stories. Man, that's just, it hurts. Oh yeah. Man, sports hurt, man. Sports hurt. So you dedicate your life. My sister, he had a good story. My little sister won't talk about a lot of my dope. She, she, she was the athlete. She like, she like, five, she like six ones. She like, she tall in. Yeah. She always been really good at sports. Me, I was, I was smaller. So I had to work a little harder. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? They tell the thing. He got a good story. Go ahead. Adam training together. Yeah, and he ended early. So he came and sit by me and she was still practicing and the people will come by and say, man, she's good, man. She's going to be very good. She's awesome. He kept telling that to me and he was sitting back to listening to that. So we got in the car. He sat in the back seat. She sat in the front seat and he said, you're sorry. You don't even train. You don't even care. People are talking about how good you are. And you don't even know how good you are. You don't, you don't even work out. Oh, holy moly. Look at you. Good. Yeah. She had no, she had no heart. Really nobody. She doesn't even do anything. She's just good. No. One time, my freshman year of college, I was playing softball and I was in the basketball area. The guys were having a basketball game that night. And one of the senior basketball guys, like the starter, the guy who like was the team type of guy. You know what I'm talking about? He came up to me one time and he goes, he literally, I was wearing shorts and he looked at my legs. He goes, God, I wish I had your big calves. And I was like, cool. Hey, that's a man. I mean, you know. Complimenting a girl's calves saying you wish I had. My big line back. My big linebacker calves, you know. Hey, do y'all want to do a little segment here? Yes. Do y'all want to play trivia, y'all? Yeah. Okay. Hey, listen. Hopefully you're smarter than us. Kenny and Maggie are going to navigate the questions and all that. So we'll see how this goes. Yeah, he can't read good. So it's going to be, it's going to be interesting. Hit it. Hit it. Get, Trevie. Get, Trevie y'all. Get, Trevie. Get, Trevie y'all. Fuck me. Get, Trevie. Get, Trevie y'all. Oh, who's going to fuck me in the ass? Kenny, have you ever been on a podcast where you heard that? I have to grab him a minute. Stop. Your dad's getting hard. He's got the rolling. Just wait to hear some of these calls. Save the boner for later. Yeah, you're going to have a stiff one over there. Is everybody ready? Let's do it. Okay, first one. Oh, get your buzz, rise your buzzers. Oh, yeah. Buzz Aldrin, you know who that is? Do you know who Buzz Aldrin is? That's the other nigga that played, uh, uh, tour store. All right. That took me a minute. I mean, you're not wrong. Buzz, right here. Yes. Same guy. Yeah. Are you ready? What is it? I think it was the first dude on the moon, right? Oh, yeah. Buzz like you. Yeah, same shit. Here we go. I mean, if that even happened, languages white, languages white. You got it, Kenny. You got it. Here, here he goes. Look at him. Already? Yeah. I think you're eating less of the read. I can't see. What? What? What? Don't really can hear me. I'm ready. Here we go. You can also lift up the iPad if you need. Okay, let's do that. Got it. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Zoom. Okay, language is white. Okay, name four out of the six official languages of the United Nations. Huh? Oh, shit. English. Yeah, it's Spanish. Oh, shit. Let's do it. Yeah, Portuguese. Fuck no. I mean, no, no. You got two? Damn. I don't know. That's a hard one. Okay. Oh, krill. No. Fritch. Yeah. Keep going. One more. One more. German? Oh, Russian. Yeah. Hey, good job. Come on now. Got brains for going. I'll be thinking this shit sometime. Friends. Mount Spinney, baby. Okay. Animals. Mm hmm. Yellow. Here we go. Animals. Okay. All right. Here we go. It's a true or false. 88% of cattle cats. Calico cats are female. True. I'm gonna false. Are you about to answer? Oh, I get false. Yeah. It's false. It's false. Damn. Yeah, buddy. I knew it was one day. There's a lot, dude. That's a lot of percentage. Yeah. Yeah. Why is it? I don't know who. I don't know. The answer is 99%. 99%. What? Really? Yes. Calico cats are female. 94. Whoa. That's odd. Maybe they're having sex in a weird position. 'Cause don't they say if you do doggy style, you're most likely having a boy? I don't know. Really? That's what I'm hearing about. How is I going to see you, Pops? Yeah. Do you remember what position he was conceived in? Oh, yeah. I know how many day and everything happen. I can tell him. I tell him all the time. What position? She was on time. Oh, riding. On a sofa, on a Sunday. On a Sunday. What time? What time? Morning night. And even about 3 o'clock, 3.30? Oh, little afternoon delight. Okay. Wow. When I finish, I say, I just put a boy up in you. That's my baby boy. That's my little basketball player. That is so hard. I just put a boy up in you. Oh, my gosh. Those are askable. Oh, man. I just put a boy up in you. She didn't want to find out. It already knew. She only told her mother what it was. That's what it was, boy. Wow, man. You knew. Oh, yeah. Wow. That little seed. All right. Let's do a couple more. Here we go. Earth. Green. Earth. Green. Here we go. Okay. Earth. Oh, my gosh. Another true or false? Okay. There are five oceans on planet Earth. Oh, true. Wait, he might finish. Oh, I'm finished. Oh, I think. Oh, true. I'm going to sit. Oh, I'm going to say false. You have to wait there. Everybody else. Yeah. I thought there was six. False. Who said true? You're absolutely correct. Oh, it's the modern trucker. Because these are different. The seas. Oh, oh, the red sea in the. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be known to Pacific. Atlantic. Yeah, go. Antarctic. Yes. In arctic. Yeah. What is it about? We've got the Mediterranean sea. We've got the Pacific. Indian. But yeah. All right. All right. Let's do one more trivia, y'all. Seas get degrees. Here we go. Okay. Here we go. Oh, here we go. Math. Well, I might want to put this one. Math why we are not going to move that history. Do that. Yeah. We'll ask three times nine and we're like, see that 21 and we can we can do one history after. Okay. Here we go. Maggie, Kenny are over there team working. Yeah. Getting the. Oh, and Kenny had an alarm go off. I'm sorry. Which is so good for this podcast because Maggie has one that goes off every Maggie always has a long throw off. So yeah, look at this. Look at her. That got it. Yeah. Possible leaving me. Okay, math. 210. Mount is 55. Wait, wait, wait. 210. 210. Yeah, Mount is 55 equals. 165. No. 160. No. One standing. One 75. One. Two 10 minus one. Two 10 minus 55. Seven or three. Two 10. Mount 55. Two 10. I think a clock. Two 10. Two 10. Two 10. Two hundred and ten. Mount is 55. Oh my God. Why can we not think right now? You know what it is? What do they do? Can I call a friend? No, you're not. Two 72. Two 55. Two 65. One 53. What is it? One 55. One 55. I will close. Why did I not say that? Did I say two 55? You said two. I met 155. I mean the same thing. I feel like an idiot. That's what I was trying to say the whole time. I came up. I let me let it go. You know what it was, Joe? We heard you. Usually I'm good at those. Oh, he wanted one history. Let's do history. I know history. We'll do one history. I think the Holocaust care when I was in high school. Let's do it. Oh, here we go. History. I'm a community college dropout. For me too. Hell yeah, let's go. I love that we can relate on that. I think we'll need fun for you. I didn't get to the good part. Oh dude, it's just all about who you know. Yeah, you're who you'll blow. You're ready. What was the first American state? Texas. Wow, was that it? No. I feel like I had never. Massachusetts. Massachusetts? I feel five. I feel good. Florida. Can I give you a hint? Utah. Yeah, California. That Bergen man was over there. Does it start with an M? Nebraska. I was gonna tell him what to start with. Go ahead. Say like Northeast. Yeah, Northeast goes down New Jersey. Rhode Island. It's very small. Chicago. It is small. But just start up Columbia. Maine. Let's just name off every state until we get it right. The Delaware. Oh, nice. I'm a genius. I'm smart as hell, dog. That was fun. Wait, before we move on, we need to talk about the rocks and the rock fuckers page. I was just about to bring that up for real. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay, then you say it. Well, I know that you guys love rocks. Yes. And something that you may not know about this podcast is we call all of our loyal listeners rock fuckers. Oh shit. And we do that. Hold on Kenny. We do that because, well, number one, the first time the first night we met y'all, we were hanging out with Kenny all night and you had a little briefcase, an orange briefcase. And you carried around everywhere and I finally go, what's in there? And you said rocks. And I was like, I love this guy. He went to the bathroom and he's like, can you watch my my suitcase? And that's it. Y'all really love rocks. Yeah, I love rocks. So he loves the texture. Yes. I like how they feel. People like to give me shiny rocks and shit. And I don't like shiny rocks. I like my rocks for you. I just like text this shit. I'm a text to do. Yeah. Well, let me know if you like this texture. One of the one of our very early episodes, we had a girl call in dead serious and said that I wish we had the call to play, but we don't. She said that she lost her, her and her boyfriend lost their virginity together out in the woods. And she was laying down and he started humping and she didn't feel anything. Well, she looked over and realized he was humping in between her outer thigh and a rock. And he thought he was inner and he nutted. So and then Paige goes, so he's a rock fucker. And then all of our followers listeners. So now there's a Facebook group with over like 20,000 people of the rock fuckers. And yeah. So do you think that you would know that you weren't in a vagina and that you were fucking a rock? That was was he was he high? He had to be I don't feel you. He had a condom on and she said the condom was shredded. Yeah. How could it not be shredded? Shredder, shredder. Maybe if you got a hold of the right textured rock, maybe if you smooth it, smooth rock, but still like she didn't she didn't feel like a rock. She and she didn't want to embarrass him so she never said anything. So still to this day, she didn't lose her virginity, but he thinks he did to a rock. He's still a virgin. That's just sad. Yeah. No, once he got a hold of a real pussy, he was probably like, damn, she sucked. And it's like, how do you not know what you're fucking? Oh, got to look down. It's so why she needs her to help me. I know she should have navigated. Oh, I've been like, uh, you're fucking a rock. Yeah, you're not even from hole near my hole. Yeah. So we just had to share that. Yeah. Do you guys like rocks that? Would you ever give that a try? Yeah. I like how they feel, too, but not like that. Not on my dick, on my hand. Do you rub things like do you rub your pillow? Yeah. My brother holds in his pillow. You know, the hotel pillow and shit, they got like the little corner. That's like, that like little pointed little bit, but not like, not like the hard one. That's all display. Like the soft. It's like, but it's like, pump a little bit. Yeah. Yes. Okay. That's where you rub. That little corner right up. That's my shit. You'll just rub it. It's just going to sleep. Yeah. I never thought about doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Put me to sleep and I'll be second on my, my, my tongue. Oh, yeah. Okay. Hey, oh, yeah. On your tongue. Yeah. Yeah. So, Kenny, when did your love of rock start? Well, you started making money off on me. He ain't like rock. Oh, shit. He's like, I love rock, but I like to rock. So you're not a texture. You're more of a collector. You're not like rocks at all. He's more of a businessman. Yeah. Yeah. He's so my son like rocks. We love rocks. We love rocks. Gotcha. So it started for you young. You started just loving it. I'd like it with the feel. I would, I would, what I'd do when I was a kid is I would chew up like a lollipop, a lollipop sticks, and then I'd chew them up real good. And I put them all like my, my window seal, let the sun drown, right? Then I'd play with that. And then look at the attention. Oh, how the Tootsie pop un-holes or what? Like the lollipop stick, like, yeah, like the, like the, like the whatever that's still made of plastic, but it's like paper. Yeah. I chew that. Okay. Yeah. I was, I was always special to Nick. I was always. Well, sure. Yeah, I beat people. I was a different type of guy. Well, walking down our driveway with all that gravel. Did you perk up a little bit? I think I grabbed some rocks. Maybe I did. She's like, now goes back. No. That's awesome. Wow. You found one you liked. It's cool. I pick, I pick them up. And if I don't fuck with it, by the end of the day, I'll let it go back to the world. So you'll just put your hand in your pocket and just touch them basically. Not do this. Yeah. It's, it's like a comfort thing. Yeah. A little fidget. Yeah. I like, it just fits on like a fidget with. Yeah. But with those. So do you, would you ever sell like those types of rocks? I give my big rock, I hold like all day, I give them to people. Yeah. I said, I really like, because the ones we said, like, you know what I'm saying, I just, they sell them, but I fell right through it. So I, the ones I have all day, like somebody hit me a rock, as long as I don't like it too much. Yeah. I'll give it to somebody else. Have you ever had a rock that you just loved so much you couldn't get rid of? Yeah, but I lose them anyway. So that's my point. I lose them. I lose them like shit. Yeah. Like. I love looking at rocks. I'm looking for rocks like just getting so close to the dirt looking. Yeah. It's so beautiful. That shit crazy. Yeah. I think that's interesting because there's so much more that people love for comfort or touch that's weirder. I've never heard of anybody loving rocks, but I think that's actually very interesting and cool. Hello. And welcome to the MooMoo commercials. It's important to me that the supplements I take are the highest quality and that's why, for the last two years, I've been drinking AG-1. Unlike many supplement brands, AG-1 is researched and developed by an in-house team of scientists, doctors, and nutritionists with decades of experience in their respective fields. I know I can trust what's in every scoop of AG-1 because it's tested for 950 contaminants and band substances while the industry standard typically only tests for 10. Wow. Quality. Okay. For AG-1, it's not just a buzzword. It's a commitment backed by expert led scientific research, high quality ingredients, industry leading manufacturing and rigorous testing at each step of the process. AG-1 goes above and beyond industry standards. Taking care of my health shouldn't be complicated. AG-1 simplifies this by making it easy by just adding one scoop to a cup of water and chugging that sucker down. Hey, that's convenient. You know, just water and a scoop. You're done. AG-1's ingredients are heavily researched for efficiency and quality and I love that every scoop also has prebiotics, probiotics and digestive enzymes for gut support. So if you want to replace your multivitamin and more, start with AG-1. Try AG-1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3 plus K2 and five free AG-1 travel packs with your first subscription at drinkag1.com/viral. That's drinkag1.com/viral. Check it out. Yeah, I mean, anything with the side of my finger, see, I just throw it here. Since he said it, you're so nervous, fancy. Oh, I love rocks and it's a big thing now. Wow. Dude. Well, don't exclude fucking rock one day. You never know. I might, who knows? Do you like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? My dog. Put me in the movie. No, please. Oh, you'll get there. Oh, you will. No doubt. You're going to suppress. Yeah, you'll suppress. You got it, brother. You will. I want to play a little game. I don't know what it's called, but you know, when people, I'll give you words really fast and you give me your first thought. Okay. Let's do it. Okay. I'm calling this first that comes to mind with Cam Patterson. So it's got to be quick. I'm going to say a word first and it comes to mind. Boom. And I'll move on to the next word. Yeah. Are you ready? Here we go. Mean. My sister. Carpet. Pussy. Breakfast. Bacon. Marriage. No. Nipples. Yes. Sleep. Need that. Green. Money. Love. I'm mama. Florida. That's that, please. Children. Fuck them kids. So she has. Refund. I don't want it. Salad dressing. Beauty. Elephant. I don't know. Brad Pitt. That ain't a gay. Apples. It's pretty cool. Pussy. I love it. Money. Money's great. Weed. I don't need a small like that. Oh my gosh. You freaking killed though. Now I wish I had more words, man. Man. Speed. That was quick. That was nice. Speed. He made one mistake, but when you told him love, he said mama. He went to say daddy. Yeah. I noticed that. Let him do it. Let him do it. No, you did good. I think we should do it with Kenny. No, he did an awesome job. I wouldn't come close to that. Okay. He's going to let you shine. I love that. Yes. What a cool dad. What a cool dad. Well, do you guys smell that? Yeah. What do you smell, Kenny? Money. I smell beans. Do you smell beans? Maybe like a, Maggie, did you open a can of beans? We're all that beautiful bean footage. We're getting our first call. Get ready. Please commando here. I can cleave on command. So I'm just going to keep calling in and queuing for you guys up until I get on the show, because I love you guys so much. So here goes nothing. Love you guys. Y'all are killing it. Oh, yeah. Cam, rate that queef. That's how she did it with her mouth. I think that was straight vadulous. Sometimes we get people and I can clearly hear its mouth. And then sometimes I'm like, that was a hole. If it was a hole, I'd give it a eight. I was a good little, but I was a decent. Do you guys like when people queef after you're done with them? It's cool when I like you. That's kind of fine. Because you're like, oh, I'm in there so, I'm moving around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I did that. I made those noises. Yeah, I like that. Cool. Might be created that. Kenny, what about you? Do you like queefs? I refuse to answer that course because my daughter's sitting over there. That's solid. That's solid. That's legit. Yeah, that's legit. You just call him what? Cop out. But I will take that as a yes. Absolutely. Big queef guys. That was a good queef. Thank you for calling in with the queef. Keep on coming. Yeah, keep the queefs. We like this. All right, like a call. Hey, honey. Can't be here. So I just wanted to ask you guys if you trim or shave your man's pubes or they do it themselves. Like me and my boyfriend, we like to trim each other's pubes. Like we have like a little session together and we just get on down there and I trim up his ball hair and he trims up my flat hair. And yeah, we enjoy doing that together. And I also wanted to ask if you've heard of a manpawn, which is like a tampon, but a manpawn. I recently just heard about this from my boyfriend and you roll up the toilet paper. So it looks like a tampon shape and you put it between your butt cheeks and it protects your ham flower from squirting all over your underwear. Apparently, I don't know. So this is a whole new thing for me. Can you tell me what you think? Thanks, honey. Love you. Bye. Love you, honey. Thank you for calling in. Wow, what's a ham flower? Yeah, what it is. That's like an unpack there. That's a lot to unpack. Yeah. Okay, so start off with the pubes. Do we like to help our partners shave their pubes or trim them? Take it away. I'm scaring on that. Do your thing, so do we? Well, to me, that's just one more chore. I don't even want to shave myself. Well, we'll do it for you. They do each other's. But then I got to do his. I'm not about to stretch that sack and try to get it all clean and stuff. That's tough too. I be saving my balls. That'd be Bjork. So all she might not know what to do around my balls. My balls get cut off. Yeah, you know your own hair. I know what's going on down there. You know how to stretch it. The angles. Kind of cut my balls a lot. A lot of times. Yeah. A lot of times. Oh, I don't even shave. My pubes are like four or five inches. She's been growing her pubes out for years. Let me see. I'll show you. There's probably blood plots that I'm right now though. So can I send you a pic? She's got pictures of it that she sends people. We got to get this man off the air. That was too fast. That was too quick. Let me see. No, this isn't even a sexual thing. So she'll meet people and say you want to see my pubes? Really? Yeah, because it's more of an art than sexual to me. And you never shave? No, I've shaved just me and my sister. She's like, let's have a competition to see who can grow their pubes out in August. So I won. She shaved hers. And now I'm like, I need to make a bush calendar before I shave them off. Yeah. I need a profit from it, you know. Yeah, you got a profit from pubes. Yeah, because I'm out pubes. Then maybe I could send them to the locks of love or something. What they did with lots of love you. Oh, it's when you donate your hair to cancer patients. That'll be fucking hilarious. Yeah. I think it could be 12 inches long though. But it's, I thought, I believe you. But they probably can use your pube for like hair, but they can get like a goatee or something. Yeah. Get a little, get a little beard. Yeah. Yeah. You just go out and wash it real good with some Don dish soap. Yeah, you get to a nice little, you know what I'm saying? I prefer Harry though. You do? Oh, it's from the 70s. Okay. Well, right here. Well, that's, that's the old school. The old school guys do. Yeah. Y'all, y'all were raised with the. Yeah. Yeah. Because some men think, you know, it fits too. Harry. It's too non-Harry. It's like, yeah, like, yeah. Everybody's got their preference. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I do feel like the bush is coming back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I say, if you can fuck me, Barry, you can fuck me with hair. Good saying. That's a great saying. I like that. That's a great saying. Yeah. That's a good saying. But yeah, I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to chat because I feel like that would be a, that would be another chore for me to shave. And it wouldn't be a good bonding because I'd be yelling at him. I'd be on pissed. I'd be like, pull the lip tight. You know, I'd be like, grab your cheek. Come on. Don't piece of shit. You miss the spot. Yeah. Yeah. It's not good. Yeah. That's start fights. Yeah. Yeah. I have a herd of a man pawn. So that they roll up toilet paper and put it between the butt cheeks. I'm assuming to keep, like when you fart, to keep particles getting on your underwear. Have you done that? I just shit myself. If I do all the other shit. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You don't want to roll. Yeah. I ain't putting no, I ain't putting no guy there of toilet people to my ass. That's crazy. Yeah. What's work? Yeah. I'd have it. I'd just have shit stains a little bit. Yeah. Everybody has shit stains sometimes. Right. Shit things are normal. Yeah. They are. If you're not out of your ass. Yeah. Supposed to be there for the underwear for. Yeah. Uh-huh. Faucet's leak. Other things leak. Why can't our ass hold some? Yeah. Ain't no problem. Yeah. Stop pretending that it's not okay to have everybody does it. Yeah. Everybody has it. Everybody does it. I'm doing what I like. I still got shit stains sometimes. Yeah. Yep. Everybody gets shit stains sometimes. I love that. I love shit stains. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I just shows you're alive. Come on. You living life. You all know shit stains you did. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're full on shit and your pants. Literally. Is that real? When you die, doesn't just shit come out of you? Oh, that's that. Body of your ass. All your body fluids come out. Yeah. How far after? I think pretty soon. For real? I think it's within minutes. What do they do? Go crop them up on the toilet or what? I don't know. I don't know. I know when my grandma passed, I was with her and they laid down like they were in the hospital. They laid a bunch of stuff down. And when she passed, they go, you might want to leave now. I was like, okay. Grandma's got shit. Yeah. So I think it's quick. Whoa. Good to know. But it's not just shit. I think it's just everything. I don't know. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, I ain't know that they give you a haircut when you die. So I just thought everybody, I thought everybody just had first hair. Just got a haircut and then you die. So every time I got a haircut, I was like, am I for the die? Yeah, I'm like, am I, this one, I never knew that you, they get, they lines up when you die. Oh, like for the caskets, you look nice. You look nice. I never knew that. So I just thought, Oh, nigga, when I get a haircut, yeah, be looking out. Yeah. Oh, shit. That's how niggas just that. Yeah. That scared me my whole year for a long time. I was like 17. That's 17. Yeah. It was like that haircut. I was like, hey, nigga. Yeah. Drops might be the time. Yeah. Be able to look out. That's I never knew. That's hilarious. Yeah, it is. Very funny. I wouldn't ever want a haircut. All right. Hit that next call. Is that a glass doo doo? Oh, yeah. Do people play that again? Do people eat ass if Emily during Bob? Hmm. Do people eat ass if Emily during Bob? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Do people eat ass if hemorrhoids are involved? Hey, cuz you said no. So you're out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Tim wrote that little shit that little ball. Yeah. You're out. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. I'm gone. You're gone. But sometimes you might not know there's a hemorrhoid unless you're already involved, you know, you're not an ass eater. Not really. Not really built in that. Well, I'm thinking if you are an avid ass eater and you like it and let's say you get bored, if she's got a hemorrhoid, that's something different you can play with down there. Yeah, sucking a little ball. Yeah, I guess that do make sense, dude. It makes sense to be like, oh, there's a extra little accessory down here that I get to play with. A fidget. Right. Yeah, I like fidget. Yeah. Maybe you need a grasp on. Why do you get hemorrhoids? It's a pass. Sitting on the toilet too long? For real. Sitting on the toilet too long, walking around too long, you can get a bolt hole, chafe. How do you get hemorrhoids? But people say if you pour sugar on them that they disappear. Sugar on your ass? Yeah. It tastes it all for the person to eat ass. Mm hmm. It says when pressure increases on the anus, so straining during bowel movement, sitting on a toilet for long periods of time, chronic constipation, a low fiber diet, weakening of tissues, pregnancy, heavy lifting, or family history. Can you imagine, like, setting your kid down back, listen, we got a long family history of hemorrhoids. So buckle up. Got a long wife ahead of you. Listen, we, we, yeah, it runs in our family, hemorrhoids. If you have hemorrhoids so bad that it runs in your family, I've never had a hemorrhoid, and I don't know how I know that one, because I'd be sitting on a toilet for an hour. I'd be there for a minute. What? I be rolling. I've been, I've been done shitting for a minute, shitting, crusted in my ass, and I'm still just, just, just swiping the weed. I kind of just wove doing that. Yeah. Just sitting in your legs numb. Just sitting on all that leg numbers, I don't like that. Well, I don't really like that. That's what happens. You got to get up and sit. Yeah. Just think about it. You go and you, and you take a shit, and if you're sitting there chilling for 30 minutes, and then you shit again, you basically knocked out two birds with one stone. You didn't have to get up. You didn't have to do another wife. You didn't wipe waste toilet paper. You're getting it. You know what I mean? And the best part for me is I hate when people hover over me, and I know there's not going to be any hovers when I'm on the toilet. Yeah, while I'm scrolling. Yeah. You either have to try the privacy screen? Yeah. You know, I don't, I've got that. That privacy screen, I bet it would work. No, but I'm an avid cheater. So that privacy screen. Oh my God. I've been saved live. I'll be chilling, talking to others, and she don't got related, but I'll be saying. I was meant to say, do you have a girlfriend? No. No. No. Well, I do get a new and new. I go cheat. Yeah. There's no one I go cheat. Good for you. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you my way. Yeah, I think that's good. I'm gonna go cheat no more. I've decided. I think that's good. I think I'm done. Good for you. Done cheating. Done. It's been, it's not fun no more. You're a retired cheater. Yeah, I brought my jersey. That being a raptor. Yeah, hey, hang the jersey up. Hang it up in your room. I don't go to it. It's time. I'll run the best when it came to it. When it came through it. Yeah. Really? Oh, great. Wow. Back on my prom. So it was like a game to you. It's fun. And now you're retired from the game. Done. I've too many good women. I was about to say, I think you'll enjoy it. I think you'll enjoy, you know, the retired life. Yeah. Yeah. For real. Maybe five years. Then he gets a DM. He's like, wait a second. He'll stop cheating when he's 30. Okay. I think I'm done. Maybe don't, maybe just until you're, until you're positive. Don't take it, you know, don't like, don't be sad. You're the only one if she's not, you know, be real with her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe just don't even hold yourself to any expectations. No, but I like the game. No, I'm so serious. Yeah. Interesting. All right. Hit me. Hit me. Hey, honey, daughter, would you rather hear? So I'm a big horror movie guy. So I'd like to know if you guys would rather be in a zombie apocalypse or robot apocalypse. Let me know. Oh, yeah. Zombie apocalypse or robot apocalypse? You guys want to go? Kenny, hit this one. I'm lost on what, I don't know what that is. Okay. So let the world ends. Let's say the world ends. And people are like, you know, starving and not just trying to get the last bit of food from the grocery stores. Would you rather that people turn into zombies? You know what a zombie is? Yes. Or a robot. Here's my thing. I'll say a robot. Okay. I'm going to disagree on that. Yeah, I'm disagreeing on heavy. Yeah. Because I think a rope, that's too high tech for me. Let's take it old school. Yeah. I don't want a robot. I'm not going to be scared of a robot. A zombie comes up. I'm going to want to, I'd rather fight a zombie than a robot. Just board the windows. Yeah. Yeah. Like, call of duty. Okay. Um. Zombies are scared. What kind of zombies did they do? That's what they look like. Yeah. Are they shot on the bed or what? They be blow up. They like, they, I don't know. Because robots, I feel like it's over. We're fighting robots. That's what I'm saying. You're done. Ain't no point, they even play with no robots. No. If the game is over, we're already lost. You're not living. You're not going to make it through that. I'm just trying to be their friend. I'm twitching immediately. I'm, I'm on the robot side first court. Soon robots come with, how can I help? Yeah. What can I suck? How can I help? Yeah. That's what you need me to do. We have freedom. So we can get out of here. Some business like, man, I'm just going to fuck niggas up until it's my time to go. That's how exactly how I feel. I agree. Somebody's vacuum upstairs. Sorry. Oh, what the hell? I was like, damn it. What's going on? It's very quick. Are we dying? It sounds like a train's going, y'all probably can't hear it. Sounds like a train's going over, over the, yeah, somebody's vacuuming. It's okay. It's okay. Yeah, yeah. Just a quick vacuum. Just ignore it. We're in my basement. I don't even hear anything. Okay. Yeah. Well, well, let's, let's see if the listeners can hear it though. Ready? If you can't hear that. That'd be a lot of hell. I guess we'll see how good these mics work. Yeah, yes. Yeah. Okay. Hey, where were you guys during 9/11? What the hell? I was two. Oh, you were two? Yeah, that was the two that were all right. Yeah, two of us. Oh my God. I was working at the time. He was at, he worked at a train. Where'd you work? No. I'm just gonna make up a lot of real quick. I was working when that happened. Yeah. And I was actually listening to the house turn. Oh. When that happened. Yeah. Wow, that was, yeah. You love house turn. You love house turn? Yeah. You tell me in the mornings here, he would listen to house turn when he took me to school. Yeah. Yeah. I, God, I think I was a freshman in high school. Yeah. I remember going into, I remember going into what? I was in sixth grade. Maggie was in sixth grade. I was in first grade. I was in first grade. Maggie, 2001, I was a freshman in high school. Yes. 2001. Yes. I graduated in 2005. I was a freshman. Yeah. It was my first year at Thackerville because 99, I was at Marietta. I don't know math. I'm not good at math. I remember walking in and somebody goes, did y'all hear about that plane that flew into the building? And we were like, what? No. And we just kind of thinking it was, you know, not a big deal. And then teacher comes rushing in screaming. We're like, what the hell? It was wild. My mom would fight a tenant. She would work in there too. Oh, man. But I don't think she didn't know she like that. Yeah. Yeah. What year were you born? 99. 99. A 90s baby. I made it. Yeah. I made it cut. Yes. I was 40 years old, but I had it. Really? So was it a slip of the nut or was this? Yeah. You wanted him. This was slip knot. This was or were you just slipping nuts left and right? I don't think. Yeah. I don't know. Well, I was told, I was told that my sperm was low and I couldn't have any more kids. Well, they lied like I'm walking there. They lied. Two more after me. So, that was a fucking lie. Doctors are always telling people they can't do anything or have the kids. They thought I told me I could never walk again and I do backflips every day. For real? No, I'm just saying I'm gonna be saying. Yeah, exactly. Well, I shouldn't have been able. Yeah. Kenny, you told us before you before we started the pot that you have six brothers and sisters? No, I have six sisters and six brothers. That's right. Six sisters and six brothers. 13 kids. 13 kids. I'm number seven, six on both sides. Lucky number seven. And can you name all your nieces and nephews? Yeah. How many nieces and nephews in total? He don't even know the total. He don't know the total. Oh. It's probably around 50 now. 45 or 50. Oh my gosh. Yeah. No. Yeah, I don't know what to do. I figured it was like seven though. I was gonna say, can you name all your nieces and uncles? I can name four of them. My sister, mighty son, my uncle Anthony, my uncle Bishop. That's the same person. That's the oldest son. Yeah. Uh, my kelbo. Yeah. Uh, mighty purely. Yeah. That's a big family. Yeah, that's it. That's all it is. If I miss you, I'm sorry I love you. Yeah. Man, you can't, you can't have your, your dad be squirting out that many kids and think you can't have a, you got a low sperm count. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You should have known that, man. Do you have family reunions? We used to, we need, we need, this is gonna have one this year, but we did, but we normally would try to have one every, maybe every, every other year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. Those are fun. Getting the family together. It's fun. Oh, the best times ever happen at the family. And you my cousin, you asked me for money and I don't know your name, nigga. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. All of Cam's cousin asking him for money. Fuck you. But it's gonna come. If I don't know your name, nigga, if I don't can't name your ass, nigga, stay out of my pockets. Have you been to a big family event since becoming a famous comic? I want to, I want to thank you to my mama's side. Here recently? Yeah, but I didn't, then give a fuck. The funny thing is, uh, I got a cousin, so one of my third cousins, somehow, uh, he in the NFL, right? And so at a fair reunion, they was like, well, Cam here, but he didn't come. So who gives a fuck? Oh, yeah. They like the, yeah, I just do comedy. So it's like, yeah, yeah. They like the athletes. It's his grandma came, though. Yeah. So that was cool. What do y'all do at family reunions? Hey, got eat. Yeah, fires. Yeah, yeah, yeah, big fires, like do, um, go camping or anything. Now we black, we don't do camping too much. Okay. We got like, we got like a cookout. Yep. Good luck, cookout. You know what I'm saying? Chill the cousin. She go to the pool a lot. I raise my, I think we race every year. It's not even like a big, it's not even like a schedule thing. It's like we get there and then one cousin will go faster than you, their shoes come off and we just, we going at it. Oh, I have a story. I have a story about a family reunion that I think you guys are either going to love or be like, holy hell, this is wild. And Maggie, you may not remember this. I think I've told it on the pod before. With a family reunion, I was probably five. Lots of people there. It was out at the lake at one of those pavilions, you know, like you can go and rent and like, you know, I have a picnic or whatever. We're having a picnic and everything's great. And all of a sudden, everybody gets in a circle and everybody's sitting down in lawn chairs because there's probably a hundred people there, maybe. And this lady who probably, she was a large lady. I'm talking probably 600 pounds. Wearing a string bikini comes and just start stripping for everybody. My family hired a large woman stripper and all the kids were just, we're sitting there watching her for our family reunion. That's, that's beautiful. Now, that's one thing that's ever happened. Nothing ever else has ever happened like that, but I'll never fucking forget that. I remember being five and being like, what is this right now? What is this? So 600 pound strip or darling? And so next family reunion we have, we need to recreate that. Why they didn't do it again? It was like, what are they like? Oh, this was too much. Oh God, why don't we do it the first time? I remember my aunt, everyone was like dumbfounded that it cost $500. Oh, still the money. And this was probably in 1993 or 4, and it cost $500. So I think that, and you know, that's a, it was a lot of money back then. Per family? No, for one lady to come. How long she days for? I don't remember being very long. That's delicious. And then bounce. That's fucked up. How wild is that? To be like, and for the kids, she didn't give up. Yes, kids. She was all drugs. Kids. Maybe she charged by weight and I don't know. And she was like, would pull a guy and set him in the middle and like, was like, glad dancing him. And I'm just sitting there watching it like, what are we doing? That's the most wild thing on the planet. Having kids walk like, and I'm like, why did you get a big one too? Like, it just was so odd. I mean, when I tell that I was a kid, my family, my cousin, so all my, all my cousins a little bit older than me, and they all like fastest. So they that would have been like a year or two. I mean, we was playing like tag or something, and I wore water, and I couldn't catch, like I couldn't catch him at all. And so I got mad. I'm very competitive. So I got upset. So I had a bad idea. I was like, nah, I had a bad idea. I wasn't going to bathroom. I was going to piss in the water bottle. And so I pissed in the water bottle, put a hole in it. And I came out the bathroom, and I started chasing away at the piss. And it was, can we all have water bottles at first? So they thought it was like a regular game, right? And then one of my cousins was like, why is this bottle? Then they got real serious. And it's all warm and hot when you squirt them. And I was tagging niggas too. And they just gamed up and threw me in the pool, and I got to time out for a long time. I had to sit out for at least two hours. All I remember, we started playing, and it was cool. I pulled the piss out. They got really upset about that. Threw me in the pool, and I couldn't play again until like, it was time to go to sleep. I was playing the trouble. Oh, I was the problem. I was the issue. You were going to say they were all going to whip their dicks out and start pissing on you. No, no, no, they were really upset about it. Like everyone just starts pissing on you. Oh my gosh. They ain't like that at all. I was a pro. I was, I was a big everybody in my family. That's what I got to say. If I ain't bite you or you my cousin, we're not really cousins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I bit everybody. I bit the world. I was a bottle. Like the angles were exciting. No, everything. If I can get ahold of you, I'm a bite to wear. I met one of my cousins for the first time. We was like, we was like eight or nine, and we were playing outside. Same situation, I couldn't catch nobody in tag. I finally caught somebody and he was my new cousin, and I beat the shit out of him. He ain't nobody in here. He knew I was the buyer. And he punched me dead in my face, and I ran inside. And I told him, I told him like a motherfucker. I told him like shit. I said, Christian, Christian punched me in my face, and everybody came inside like, well, tell him what you did first. He didn't know I was the buyer. We missed the last time you bit someone. Probably like 14. You're due? Yeah. Who are you gonna bite? You're due for a nibble. Something happened. I think I'm gonna put me in the head lock or something. And I was like, this nigga on even though I retired recently. You're doing pretty bitch back to work. And I bit the fuck out somebody on. I'll buy a nigga today. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I get a fight. I'll buy somebody right now. If I'm losing, I'll bite the shit out somebody. That'll get you loose. He always told me to bite. He told me to bite when I was a kid. He said you're small. You're small. So if you were to fight with somebody, and you lose the fight, be a piranha. Bite the shit out on. That's great advice. I bet you that lets you go. Poke their eyes out. I ain't been biting ever since. I was gonna say that stayed with him ever since. He told me two things when I was a kid. He's small, so you got to bite. Somebody fuck with you, custom out. And I've been cussing ever since. I've been cussing since I was like seven. I'd love to hear it. So do you just love chewing? Or what makes you want to bite just the being smaller or whatever? That was small. I'll get you. My never had power punch. I never was a power punter. I never really picked you up like that. You got a strong jaw? That's how you mean. That's all you need. I bet Kyle Meantime. I bet Kyle Meantime. Is that my younger sister? Yeah, that's my younger sister that we gotta be fighting. That's right. I bet that be it's a Meantime. That's right. I bet. I bet. You're a bider. Well, can I say? You're a bider. Can I say we went to your show last night at Zaines. It was so good. All the openers were good. You crushed it. You killed it. You're so funny. You're energy on mine. I mean, like, we're fans. That's that means that means we're to me. Like I had to wear our camp had a shirt. I had never seen Kill Tony. And then she was is a new fan of Kill Tony. So she took me to the show at the rhyme and when I met you a couple months ago, never heard of you nothing. You came out crushed it so hard. I go, oh, I got to go say hi to him. Like it was I was like, this guy is awesome. And then we met your dad became best friends. You'd and then literally I saw you're coming to Zaines. I go, oh my god. I want to hang out with him so bad. So thank you for having us last night. Thank you. Your career. I mean, it's just up from here. It's going to red rock it and around the world. Big time. I will. Big time. And you deserve it. And thank you for being on our podcast. Shout out anything you want. Where can people find you? Where can they see you? Anything. I got it. Oh, what's your Instagram? It's got a camp. Cancel funny with a KK. S O O and then funny. That's me on IG. My TikTok cancel funny. Same thing. Cancel for the one. I got a Twitter. I got one Twitter for porn. Oh, that's go up the camera is only porn. If you just go to my father's only pastor. All right. And then I got another Twitter just cancel funny. Oh, that's just that's just when I be on just doing comedy shit. Hell yeah. And then my dad got the dates. Yeah, we're going to drop some dates. August we in Kansas City in Prague. And we in Zaines, Chicago in August 15th. And then we in the wise guys in West Jordan, Utah. Oh, I'm from Utah. Yeah. Yeah, that's hard. Yeah. I ain't never seen Valentine with the Utah. Oh, you all. That's pretty. That was pretty. Pretty. Yeah. If you guys ever need a place to stay. My aunt Jodie's watching. Hey, Black people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's Utah. Really nice. Where can they go for tickets? You have a website? Yeah, just go there. You can see the schedule on campsoffunny.com. Cam so funny. Oh, my geez. Yeah, I can lick my body. All of his shows has a ticket about a ticket. Basically, if you're listening, just a lot of do a lot of clicking and just find them. Use your finger and click. Make a couple clicks. Go. You gotta go see him. Yeah. And you'll probably see. He's gonna be there. You'll be there. Yeah. I'm gonna be there. He's gonna be there. I'm gonna miss in August because my baby going to college. And I'm gonna be there too. We're moving her. What's she going? She going to North Carolina and T. My little sister going North Carolina and T. And if you go there, you go around now and you see my little sister. Stay away from us. She 15. She wants my 50 years in the world. Don't touch us. She got in the college real early. That's all that is. And her brother's a fighter. Yeah. My brother's a fighter. I tell you, I got their power. Fuck the guy. Kill you by my little sister. I fuck your whole family by my little sister. Fuck the guy. Kill your mama. Fuck nigga. Brother's a fighter. Brother's a fighter. I shoot your face. Oh, dang. Oh, shit. Yeah. By my little sister. Just be nice to her. Just be nice to her. Just be nice to her. Real nice. Yes. Oh, it'll kill you. Just be nice to her. And I'm about to dead by that. Piss it. Whoa. I'm sorry to say that. Before the shit comes out. Yeah. Before the shit comes out. Fuck nigga. I'm sorry. I had to say that. I just got to let it be. I'm a little baby. I'm a little soldier, man. Oh, you got to look out for your family. Sure. Hell yeah. I kid. I will kill a nigga by a swear god. Shut up for the pattern. Sure. We freaking love you guys. You guys are family. You're welcome whenever. No, thanks so much. We love you. All right. Any last things you want to add? No. Anything you want to say? I just want to say thank you guys for having us on the podcast. It's beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you. This is dope. Thank you. And thanks for listening everyone. And don't forget to ring ring if you have some bling bling. And our phone number is 442-777-3331. And always remember you're doing great. You're looking good. And fuck what everybody else thinks. That was great. That was fun. Oh, it's a good time. We're going viral. Here we go. Oh, that was so much. Hey, that was nice. Thank you guys so much.
