When your faith is shaken and you begin to question where God has you, what do you do? If you're thinking about throwing in the towel or struggling to keep going, you're not alone. We hope you're encouraged through this honest conversation with friend and author, Alexandra Hoover. This episode was recorded in November 2023 LIVE at Lifeway Women's Forum. To find out more about this amazing event, visit Lifeway.com/ForumResource
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Without Wavering Bible Study
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36. When You Want to Give Up with Alexandra Hoover
Send us a textWhen your faith is shaken and you begin to question where God has you, what do you do? If you're thinking about throwing in the towel or struggling to keep going, you're not alone. We hope you're encouraged through this honest conversation with friend and author, Alexandra Hoover. This episode was recorded in November 2023 LIVE at Lifeway Women's Forum. To find out more about this amazing event, visit Lifeway.com/ForumResource SHOW LINKS:Connect with AngieListen to more from His...
- Duration:
- 24m
- Broadcast on:
- 06 Aug 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
(upbeat music) - Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Let It Shine, it's August. We are in the heat and the thick of things here in Orlando. I'm sure you are everywhere else. School is about to start for those of you that are sending kids back. I only have two kids in school. I have one that's graduated from college. I've got two that are still in college. So they're in classes, getting ready to start that. I've got one who moved to Nashville to live his best life. Can you even wrap your brain around that? So August is just full of a lot of transition and change here in the Let It Shine family. I know a lot of you are listening as you are maybe running errands, buying school supplies today, whatever you're doing. I'm so glad that you have found us. This summer, as you know, I'm introducing you to my friends. Today, I'm airing an episode from His Glory, Her Good. You know, the hosts of that show are Amanda and Karen, and I love this episode. Their podcast is for women who are serving in student ministry, but you know what? This episode is called When You Don't Want to Give Up. And I picked this for you, not necessarily because you're serving in student ministry, but because you could use this no matter what is going on in your life. This conversation is something that all of us need. It's like a pep rally. You know, do you remember the pep rallies in high school? I was a cheerleader, so pep rallies were super fun, but they get everybody pumped up for what's coming. That's what you're gonna get today. This is a pep rally on When You Want to Give Up. So you might be feeling down in the dumps, you need a pep rally. You need your friends, you need me, you need Amanda, you need Karen, and you need Alexandra Hoover, who is the guest on this episode today to cheer you up, to pep you up, to get you excited, and to remind you, you don't need to give up on whatever God is calling you to do. So here is a great conversation with Alexandra Hoover, Amanda Mejias and Karen Allen, when you do want to give up. Here's what you do. ♪ Let it dry, let it dry, let it dry ♪ Welcome to the His Glory Her Good Podcast, a podcast for women in student ministry. We're your hosts, Amanda and Karen. We're here, not as experts, but to walk alongside you through the beautiful, messy, hard, but always holy parts of ministry. So with our eyes on Jesus, let's walk together and keep going for Her Good, but ultimately for His glory. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Okay friends, we have an episode where we are live and in person at Life Way Women's Forum coming to you at a later date, but we are so excited to be filming and we're really excited about this conversation with Alexandra Hoover. - Yeah, Alexandra, she's a Life Way Girls author and just someone that I've really been able to get to know and respect and hearing from somebody who is still younger in ministry, but has done a lot in the years that she's been and started out young in the ministry and I think a lot of our listeners will relate. I don't know about you, but my 2023 had a lot of moments where my faith was shaken. It wasn't always pretty, it was a lot of pain points, a lot of points of like, is this what life's gonna look like forever and like literally having to, Alexandra talks about this a lot, but like making the resolve to keep the faith and I don't know where you're at in your ministry journey or just right now even in your own walk with a Lord, but my hope is that this, you know, episode will just remind you like you can keep the faith. The Lord is gonna give you everything that you need and He truly is enough. And I think even just an authentic moment of this conversation was exactly what my heart needed even for today. Of course, like the Lord, the way He works knew that I needed this conversation and so I pray that it ministers to you, we are going to be confronted with so many reasons to want to quit and to want to be discouraged and to live into that defeat, but our God is a God who is in control and He is taking care of us and paying attention to us and He is good. And how can I align like what I know in my head and in my heart and like what I live out? And so I pray as encouraged about this conversation as I was and still am, but let's jump in. - Alex, you know, as we get started, will you just like give an overview? I think it's important for our audience to kind of just hear where you've been. - Okay. So hi you guys. I'm so glad to be here. I'm Alex, Andrew Hoover. All right. So I'm a mom. I've got three kids. I've been everywhere in my life. I.e. soccer games, football games. That's where recently been is my kitchen. I know, but all seriousness, I started vocational ministry when I was 19 years old, which is kind of crazy. I turned 34 this month in November, November 20th. Yay. And I am going to try to keep it as brief as possible. Started ministry when I was 19, worked in a local church for most of my early years of ministry without ever having vision for being able to write books for Bible studies. Like I didn't see that being something that God was going to call me to and served on just about every team at my church when I started. It was Gissimity Baptist Church in Davidson, North Carolina. - Okay. - Yeah. With Pastor Jeffries, who's just an angel. He was the first pastor ever to actually call up and out of me to get to teaching. And so he let me teach my first Bible study ever at Gissimity Baptist, a Wednesday in Bible city. And alongside him and with him, there were a few other folks who came with me and helped just spur me on and helped really refine a lot of what was a very sassy and spicy 19 year old who had just met Jesus. And from that, I worked in the youth ministry with my husband for years, then started working at a different church where we ended up being on just about every team there. And now I write books in Bible studies and I've been a part of the local church for 16 years and that's so crazy. Okay, so now I live in Charleston, South Carolina with my husband, Mario, and our kids. I'm on staff at Bright City Church. And I oversee my title as Director of Strategy, Implementation and Replication. So it's just really fancy for, I bring alignment to the church with the vision of what God's doing there and pretty much all sorts of different things. Also, I write, I write in I speak and travel to churches and women's conferences. - Yeah, that's really cool. - Yeah. - Okay, so we know with your new study without wavering and kind of what you encourage. - You did, and we get to share about that. - And I put that study out the same month that I moved. And so I just think the world to know that, that I did that. I moved to a whole new state, and I launched a Bible study and got all three kids in school. Thank you, God. - Yeah. - Thank you, God. - Just casual hard work. - Yeah, but I can imagine what you're teaching on comes from like personal experience. And so would you share with us like a time or two where you felt like your faith was shaken or maybe had the temptation to like let it waver? - Yeah, I really want to share 15 different times. But for the sake of time, only because you asked me, I'll keep it short. No, honestly, I think one of the tongue in cheek, I say this, but I'm sort of like the unbelief girl. Like I have the gift of unbelief. And for most of my life, as long as I've known Jesus, I've questioned, I've questioned, I didn't know that I was questioning the character of God, but I really was, I couldn't reconcile the very broken parts of the world and my pain to God that was brought to me as kind and compassionate and merciful. Like I just couldn't do it for a really long time. And so I set out with God and his mercy to find out what it meant to trust him. Like honestly, to trust him, to trust him. And so I guess I'll share two different times where my faith felt shaken. My brother passed away on May 22nd to 2023, no, 2024. No, 2022, I'm sorry, 22. And it was two days before my book, Eyes Up Came Out. And I had, I remember trying to bargain with God in the target parking lot. Like if you can just keep this week of my life from any type of pain and suffering, I would be so thankful. Like I remember saying that to God, like if you could just withhold any type of suffering, please. And I got a phone call, two days before my book came out, Eyes Up from a cousin of mine, who's essentially like a brother to me. He said, "Hey, levy passed away." Super chocking. We weren't, I mean, it's not something that we would have thought would ever happen the way that it did. And it shakes my faith in all the ways. And I had just written Eyes Up, which was a book about trusting God's heart. And so I have had to really live this out. I think another, another time I could say is, in vocational ministry, I've pretty much questioned my calling forever. I've questioned, like, "God, what do you, am I called to vocational ministry? Did I make this up on my head? What, am I gifted at this thing? Or am I just pretending to be gifted at it?" And so my faith has been shaken when I've not seen things pin out the way that I've wanted to. And when I've not been able to make sense in my mind, the things that I thought would look a certain way. And so I know that's one sort of vague, thick, breaststroke answer, but that's applied to so much of my life. And I've had to choose to believe God. And faith, I want to say this for the friends who are listening. Faith isn't about how much we can will ourselves to believe. Like, it isn't about willing for more faith. Faith, what I'm saying is, every time my faith has been shaken, what I'm saying is, every time I have lost sight of God's kindness, every time I have lost sight of God's grace, every time I have chosen to lock eyes with whatever idol I've built up, that is when my faith is shaken because faith in and of itself isn't even my God. Like, it's in God. My faith in God is what shakes. You guys, like our faith in Christ is what moves and so, yeah, the needle of my faith has moved. Every time I've decided to worship something else other than God. - I think that's so relatable. I do think that we think as women in ministry, oftentimes like we are like the anomaly, like there's no way that like unshaking faith could like hit us or, you know, we have a lot of listeners that are probably like new word of ministry who are thinking like, oh, like I'm, this is great. And the reality is that we live in a fallen, broken world and like sin's gonna happen, hard things are gonna happen. And we ourselves are broken and sinful. Therefore, our faith will be shaken. - Yeah. - But how'd you keep going? Like, so like, the reality is is that like, it wasn't like, you know, you woke up one day and we're like, I'm just gonna keep going. - Yeah. - It was putting one foot in front of the other. - Yeah. - So much of my life has been this conversation of like resilience, which is what the subtitle of the study is, resilient faith built on the promises of God, right? And so I've always like, I've always had this like love and hate idea with resilience. I'm gonna try to articulate this the best way I can. I love resilience because it's, it's what God built up in us to keep going. It's strength, it's grit, it's, but it's him in us, right? And so there's this very real reality, the other end that I hate of it, that we have to be really weak to experience true resilience in God. Like we have to be so weak and so broken before the Lord that the resilience that we need to actually keep going is really only found when we get to the end of ourselves. And so the best way I get the answer that is, I keep going by getting to the end of myself by realizing that I can't, I cannot do it in and of myself. There's not enough gifting in me, there's not enough power in me, there's not enough strength in me and of grit. And you either, in any of us, to like, fulfill our way to keep going. It has to be with God or what we find ourselves more insecure, more disoriented, more tired, more beat up, more upset with God, because we think resilience is performance and grit when in reality resilience is a surrender. So to keep going, we have to surrender. - I can't really, I'm sure you can't too crit. - Oh my gosh, no, I think, I mean, I'm just like sitting here being ministered too, because I think there's something so woven into our DNA, and maybe for me it comes from like a good intention of like, we know 2nd Corinthians 12 is true that Christ power is made perfect in our weakness, but we have examples from our story where either our weakness caused people to be disappointed in us, or our weakness shocked people, let people down. And if they let the people of God down, there's a fear in us that if my weakness let them down, did it let God down? And when I say that out loud, that's not theological truth, but that's a lot of times how it can feel, that we say like, yes, your weakness is the best, and sometimes it feels like maybe the minute I've shown my weakness, I got in trouble, I suffered a consequence, or now people think differently of me. And so I think like, I'm listening to that going, oh gosh, yes, I even today need resilience built in me, and maybe even where I'm coming in with my own heart is exactly where God wants me, which is the end of myself. And he wants to build that in me, which is encouraging, but it's such a vulnerable place to be. Okay, next episode will tackle vulnerability with God. No, seriously, end vulnerability with people. Here's what I'll say, I think that's so brilliant, and so wise, I think that the enemy would love nothing more than to use our weakness as a point of contention, and almost invite us into hide because of it, and yet the gospel offers us this whole other perception of weakness, which is the weaker you are, the more vulnerable, the more broken before me, the more whole, the more power, the more resilient I can make you and will make you. And so there's this confidence, I talked about it earlier, there's this confidence in this boldness that comes in with because I know that I actually can't do this on my own, I will walk in with my head held high in the name of Jesus because his power has made perfect in my weakness. And so I'm no longer boasting in myself, I'm boasting in Christ, and that does give us a different, a different oomph in the reality of our weakness. Are we gonna be weepy and broken and tired? Absolutely, we're human, but at the end of the day, when we go to bed, we know the truth is, and we know that in our weakness, in our vulnerability before the Lord and others, and I'll say this for our friends who are listening, especially women, our vulnerability in our weakness is often threatening because it means that we have allowed ourselves to be free before God and often people don't know how to deal with that. And so if you're walking through a season where God's asking you to be more vulnerable and more intimate with him and more weak, let it be, be more broken before the Lord and allow yourself to be exposed because at the end of the day, you've got nothing to hide. Like you've got, what is it that's nothing? There's nothing that you're hiding. There isn't any, God's seen it all. And so if you walk before people and you show them, these are my cards, I've got no cards behind me. There's nothing hidden. Yeah, I'm weak, absolutely, yeah, I'm broken, but in Christ, I'm made whole, and what a gift that is. This whole paradigm shift, and then I'll stop talking of glamorizing our brokenness. I wanna get really loud about the wholeness we have in Jesus. I wanna get even louder about the fact that in Christ, I'm made whole, that I'm actually not into, I don't live from defeat, I'm more than a conquer. Am I gonna feel defeated, yes, I have this saying, and it's oftentimes we're going to have to walk out our victory before we feel victorious. Like we're just gonna have to walk it out, our wholeness before we feel whole, we're gonna have to walk out our victory before we feel victorious, and it's same with weakness. We get to walk out our strength before we feel strong. - I love that, I love that faith is not performance, faith is not a feeling, it's surrender and obedience. So what would you say to our listeners who are feeling really weary? I mean, you have been, there's again, more stories than you can tell about walking in ministry and feeling like you're ready to like throw on the towel, you're ready to turn your back on, everything that you thought you were for, you were talking about questioning your calling, I think there's a lot of girls that are listening that are probably right there. - Yep, I think that for all the three of us, for the friends who are listening, when we realize that the calling isn't ours to quit, like we didn't make up, like it's not God, God is the one that calls, God is the one that gives the gift, and this conviction that you're feeling in your bones to serve the body will be in you forever. So whether you try to pretend like it doesn't exist or not, the assignment over your life and the calling over your life is something that we get to live out in every area. And so I would say this, please be encouraged to know that for such a time as this, where God has you as your assignment, that the calling never changes, but the assignment may, and that as assignments change, you get to still be secure who God's called you to be in your calling, which is to love God and love his people. And we can't quit that, why can't we quit that? Because that's how you end up loving and worshiping God. So to quit our calling is to quit the worship of God. Imagine that. - Imagine that. - Imagine that, yeah, that's so good. What would be, so maybe let's get practical for a second. What are things that have helped you keep the faith and maybe as women are like, yes, I'm on board, I want my faith to be unwavering. I want to live without wavering, but then what are some of the things I can actually check in on and go from just like, I intend to do this to now I have things in place that maybe before I feel like my faith is unshakeable. I'm gonna walk in these things and practical rhythms that help me kind of combat that temptation to waver. So I'll say this, building up a faith that's resilient has little to do with feelings. It just can't be about our feelings. It has to be about resolve, and resolve and take, I think two things, taking the temperature of what we're thinking, like taking inventory of our thoughts and taking the temperature of our souls. So are we reading the scriptures? Are we in covenant community? Are we being honest? Oh my God, honest with like where we are with God. I think that growing in our faith takes it such an awareness of where we actually are and what we're believing about God and ourselves with him. And so practically every day it looks like, God, how are we doing? God, how am I feeling? Lord, what am I believing about you, about me, about your people? Am I reading the scriptures? And I'll say this to my friends who are like, I don't even have the will to read the scriptures right now, I'm tired. What I did for an entire year straight is I just read the Psalms because I was so tired and so weary and in ministry and in my faith and in motherhood that all I had the will to do was to open up the Psalms and just read from the Psalms, the Lord is my shepherd. Like I, God, I've got nothing for you. And I truly believe that God will take the very little that we have to offer our loaves and fishes and he will bless the heck out of it because there's a willingness to, if you're like, I don't even know what to give God, give him your yes. The most practical thing we can do is just give God our yes every day to do something new in us. We always love asking our guests to turn back the clock. Like, you know, so if you could go back to 19-year-old Alexandra, fresh in ministry who has no idea the stuff she'd face, what would you say to her? - Oh my gosh. I am. I think one of the hardest things for me in ministry has been feeling like I somehow stepped into this on my own and it has felt very alone and I have felt very confused and especially because of the gifting that I have, it was always, well, either she really just wants the stage or she's not called to teach. There's so much, it was so nuanced for me. I would love nothing more than to look at her and to say. The calling over your life has already been settled. You will be given spaces where you will be able to walk out everything God's called you to and it starts in your church, it starts with your family and I would tell her that it's a process. I would tell her that she is safe in it. I would tell her that she's not in the middle of a sprint race. It's a marathon with God and that it's gonna change but I would give her so much grace and I would look at her and say I'm so proud of you. You're doing such a great job. I'm here for you, I'm gonna walk with you and I believe in you because I think that's what I needed to hear was and I believe in you. I believe God's called you to this and I would love to tell her that. - So good, so you can't see us but we're all just kind of having that moment and I have so much compassion for everyone listening and for this conversation to go the enemy would love for nothing more than for us to be distracted and for us to throw in the towel. And I think about, we walk by faith, not by sight and in a world where we're wanting clarity and we're wanting to make sense of things, that's great but let us not seek clarity and what we're really saying is God, I seek control. I actually don't want faith, I want the control side and so I'm just praying that we kind of leave this conversation. It's probably one that you're like, oh, this is a little tender topic to talk about but Alexandra, thank you for coming and having this conversation, I really appreciate it. - Oh my gosh, it's been a gift. When you said that about clarity, I'll add this one thing and I'll be done. It's, I used to see clarity a whole lot, especially in vocational ministry with God, in general, if you're not a vocational ministry, we all want clarity, which at the end is control. So God gave me God in my prayer, what he refrained it into was, Lord, give me the courage before the clarity. Give me the courage to give you my yes before I know what's next and that level of surrender continuously is changing my life. Just this unresolved, or this resolved yes with God, with reckless abandon to just go with courage before clarity. - So good, thanks for being here. This won't be the last time we have yet, that's for sure. - So good, I'll see you soon. Alexandra mentioned two of her resources that we just wanna highlight. One, her Bible study without wavering. It is for women, but it's also for your teen girls. And the teen girl version just came out this past December. So if you're still looking for a Bible study to jump into the year, I really, I mean, I don't feel like we're like, man, teen girls, you know, like learn about faith. But the amount of things that our girls are wrestling with of like, how do I keep going? Or like, you know, just not just having the camp faith during the summer, but like all year long. I really think it's a great resource for girls who are walking through grief. Well, then that's maybe grief of what's going on in her life or a loss. So we will put that in below, as well as Alexandra's book, Eyes Up. - His glory here good is production of the Life Way Podcast Network. - We're your host, Karin Allen. - And Amanda Mejias. - We are so grateful that you joined us. And we'll see you next time. - Let it shine is a production of the Life Way Podcast, executive produced by me, Angie Elkins, produced by Nicki Ogden. It's recorded at the Life Way Podcast studios and engineered by Donnie Gordon, edited by Robert Elkins. An original theme song arranged by Robert Elkins, the Maestro himself, performed by Tiffany Casey, Abby Pierce, Ryan Walker, Jarian Felton, and Shauna Felton, art by Grace Morgan. And I'm your host, Angie Elkins, meet me back here next week. (upbeat music) I'm gonna let it shine, it's still a lot of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, it's still a lot of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine! [BLANK_AUDIO]