Revering the Word
Deuteronomy 24 The challenging topic of divorce and remarriage.
Good morning everyone. This morning we are in Deuteronomy chapter 24 and it is a challenging teaching in some ways, something that I don't look for, recovering if I'm honest, just because it is challenging and there's, I believe, some good questions that remain. But with that backdrop, let's go ahead and take it in. When a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife. And if the latter husband turns against her and writes a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, is not allowed to take her again to be his wife since she has been defiled for this is an abomination before the Lord and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance. So this is dealing with divorce in this case, remarriage and then possibly even the woman going back to the first husband, we are not that kind of thing, has happened and does happen it's not completely foreign although for most of us that would sound very foreign. Okay, so first of all back in the beginning in Genesis chapter two a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. God's design for marriage was for a man and a woman to join together to become one and to be married for life that's that's the design that's God's design is that you'd have one wife you'd have one marriage and that marriage would be until death do you part and that you would become one flesh that's God's desire and that's what honors him. Now Moses is it allowed for a certificate of divorce we've read about this in the book of Deuteronomy and Jesus shares in the New Testament that because of your hardness of heart that that divorce was allowed that basically because people have hard hearts it's not that God desired it or designed it it seems like kind of like oh well if you want to if you want to live that way and if you want to get divorced I'm going to go ahead and let you get divorced but Jesus said from the beginning that's not how it was it was supposed to be a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and maybe she shall be one flesh that's the design that's what God is desiring now I want to take you to a couple of different passages in the New Testament the first one comes from Matthew it's Jesus speaking and it's in Matthew 531 and it's sad this it was sad whoever sends his wife away let him give her a certificate of divorce now this is quoting the Old Testament in fact quoting the very passage Jesus says that we're covering in Deuteronomy 24 Jesus just quoted it in the gospel of Matthew here but Jesus says but I say in you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery so Jesus is making you know in some cases the law there's a grace there's a change to the law but in some cases Jesus even makes it harder he's saying you know what Moses permitted you guys just to send someone away because of your hardness of heart and get divorced but you know he's he's not desiring that and the word there for the reason for divorce he says except for the reason of unchastity it's in the NASB 95 here is the word poynia you know the word that you know we would call you know porno and it means sexual intercourse with someone who's not married it means fornication it is a homosexuality lesbianism it's a word for illicit sexual you know in appropriateness so it it it it's it's kind of a larger word than just simply adultery it's sexual in appropriateness in an extreme way and what Jesus is allowing for although not desiring is that if one of the parties in a marriage or maybe both at times get involved in sexually illicit inappropriate maybe it's adultery maybe it's an affair but it's it's porno pornographic it's you know if there's an unloyalty to your spouse due to sexual immorality reasons that he permitted divorce in as a result of that doesn't mean that you have to get divorced but it does mean that it's permitted on that basis I think it's interesting you know that I've heard of in all the situations where there's marriages where someone's addicted to porn and they just can't conquer it and it's really killing the wife in this perspective you know that the man is having those kind of problems and so that's a question isn't it that's a that's porno that's sexually inappropriate addiction that someone's not you know being dishonorable to their wife because of that and at what point does that get so far of a problem that the woman just can't take it any more and you know what or vice versa by the way if it was a woman and is that something that fits under that porno I would say that it definitely could it'd be nice if we could interview Jesus and all of our questions but I think I think pornography is a huge problem in our culture today I wish it was banned I don't see any reason why we need any of it I'm gonna take you to another passage in Matthew chapter 19 and it says some Pharisees came to Jesus this is verse three testing him and asking is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all and the Pharisees are asking this because based on Jewish law you know Moses permitted because of the hardness of heart divorce and he answered have you not read this is how Jesus answered that you created them from the beginning made them male and female by the way that says a lot that you know you can't change your gender you are what God created you to be and he said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flash so Jesus is quoting that so they are no longer two but one what therefore God has joined together let no man separate so you can see that God's desire is that you'd be a husband or a wife of one man or one woman and it would be till death you apart then they said to him so the Jews are now questioning him saying why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away he's like hey Moses allowed this this was allowed in the Old Testament and he said to them because of your hardness of heart Jesus said Moses permitted you to divorce your wives but for the beginning it has not been this way see so God's original desire it was what I've talked about so far in this podcast but because of hardness of heart he allowed them to get divorced but Jesus is not desiring that and I say to you whoever divorces is what except for immorality now again it's kind of probably good that it says immorality there because it's the word poor nah again and it's a broad word for all kinds of sexually inappropriate disloyalty and illicit things and again he's permitting divorce based on that but myriad of you and I say to you whoever divorce is his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery so again it's brought up that marrying someone else commits adultery now here's what's challenging and this is kind of like why I didn't want to teach on it I mean it it's just a challenging topic and so what if someone has us uh porna and they get divorced based on sexually immorality you know is it covered is it talked about in the scripture then about remarriage you know it really doesn't um you know not much is said there other than Moses permitted you know because of your hardness of heart so you know they're today and even in the church you know we'll have like second marriages third marriages and is it great I mean is that what God's desiring is that we have multiple marriages no it's not what God's desiring God's desiring that we would marry one person and do it from the beginning but and stay together forever but now what what other questions are there like as an example some marriages weren't even bound in God they weren't christian they didn't even honor God they didn't honor the bible so then they get divorced in a unchristian marriage well now are they permitted to marry in a christian marriage later and say well our first marriage really wasn't based upon God I think that's an interesting case right um and people do it all the time and you know if if I admit it I have you know remarried people um who had been married before and it's challenging here's what I think uh I think that Jesus is wanting to set a standard that is holy that's a high standard and say listen stick with the person you're married with forever uh there was a permission or a allowance because of hardness of heart for divorce and also for sexual immorality you know we haven't even got into abuse what if a husband is beating a wife you know I mean I don't think that that's a appropriate thing and I have compassion and sympathetic for a life who's getting beaten to divorce her husband uh it may not be sexual immorality but it's a different form of of immorality in in my view um so but that's not covered do you see so like not everything that we would want to know is covered specifically what here's what I think I think that God's trying to design marriages to stay together forever I think mankind is a center and mankind sins and false sort of the glory of God and that goes for all of us whether you've been divorced or whether you've not been divorced it's something that we we none of us are perfect we've all fallen short of God's glory and all need is grace and his grace and his love covers a multitude of sins so I think that sadly we as humans because of our brokenness because of our waywardness sometimes we violate God's word sometimes we don't do exactly what God desires because if we did everything that God desires we'd have one marriage that would last forever and we would never get divorced and we would never get them married but just like in other areas where we sin and false sort of the glory of God I think because of hardness of heart we sin and false sort of the glory of God and marriage and sometimes people get remarried and what I would say is always know that it's a it is a it is a failure you know divorce is a failure um having a second marriage is not ideal having a third marriage is definitely not ideal and it in some ways what's happened in the past dishonors God and I would make sure that you pray and that you seek uh the Lord and say Lord I'm sorry for all that I've done wrong I'm sorry for falling short of your standard but I'm grateful God for your grace and I need your grace and forgiveness God I need your your mercy I'm sorry about the hardness of heart I'm sorry about what's happened in my past but God help bless me help me in my the marriage that I'm in to honor you to to to have a marriage that lasts forever um thank you for your grace and your forgiveness God and and I would just be humble before the Lord uh and I think that you know as Moses permitted divorce I think you know God God still loves you God still has grace for you um and although not ideal I believe God is allowing people to be remarried today and that does not mean that it's best it does not mean that it's his original design he had better plans for all of us but we've fallen his grace and try to do what's right and honor the Lord in the marriage you're in now you know that's like really the best I can say and there's part of me that you know is uncomfortable with that because I want to honor God's word and revere his word and I do um so I'm saying God's design is one marriage forever when that's broken um it's sad it's not what God desires but fall on his grace and mercy in whatever situation you find yourself in now um honor him with it and and and thank him for his grace and mercy I just want to say you know I've been married to one woman and I've never had another one and praise God for that for 28 years um I also am very fortunate to have parents and in-laws that have now been married for over 50 years each and I praise God for that example and you know that's the kind of example that I want to set and then I want to provide to my children and to my church and into the world um I have compassion and for those who have gone through difficult situations my my heart goes out to you I wish I could just make it all right um but honor God from this day forward and know and be thankful for his grace and fall on the grace and mercy of God for whatever shortcoming you may have had in life so with that I want to move forward verse five when a man takes a new wife he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any duty he shall be free at home one year and shall get happiness to his wife whom he has taken we've seen that before in Deuteronomy regarding military stuff and here we see it again you know God cares about marriages getting off to a good start and he doesn't want to send them out to war when they're really married it's really honorable that God wants to do that and help people establish a strong bond all right now various laws we'll try to move a little more quickly through this section no one shall take a hand mill or an upper millstone in pledge for he would be taking a life in pledge the millstones were used together to to you know hammer grain together and if you took one then you wouldn't have what you would need to do that process so it wouldn't make sense to take one because it could keep someone from doing their job if a man has caught kidnapping any of his country men were in sundry laws again this is the various laws so they're not going to always be connected if a man is caught kidnapping any of his country men of the sons of Israel and he deals with them violently or sells them then that excuse me then that they shall die so you shall purge the evil from among you again very harsh penalties obviously doing something wicked there and God's not wanting that in his community so he makes harsh penalties for doing something wrong like that verse eight be careful against an infection of leprosy that you diligently observe and do according to all that the Levitical priests teach you as I have commanded them so you shall be careful to do remember the lord your god did to Miriam on the way as you came out of Egypt now the main thing there that I want to comment on is just that god cares about diseases not spreading he cares about people and there's been a lot of destructive plagues in history and God's not you know when there's an infection of leprosy or some kind he wants them to be careful about separating people so that it's not spreading the community when you make your neighbor alone of any sort you shall not enter his house to take his pledge you shall remain outside and man to whom you make the loan shall bring the pledge to you if he is a poor man you shall not sleep with his pledge when the sun goes down you shall surely return the pledge to him that he may sleep in his cloak and bless you and it will be righteousness for you before the lord your god so sometimes you might give an item to someone as a pledge and they might give you money and return but you know typically it's the poor man that's that needed to put up that pledge and he's just guiding as we're going to see in chapter 24 very much cares about the poor and our treatment of the poor and he does not want them to be taken advantage of or neglected and he doesn't want their basic needs to be met even if they get behind in some kind of pledge or financial thing he doesn't he wants us to make sure that we're still caring for them and not letting them starve you shall not oppress a higher servant who is poor and needy whether he is one of your countrymen or one of your aliens who is in your land in your towns you shall give him his wages on his day before the sun sets for he is poor and sets his heart on it so that he will not cry out to the lord and it becomes sin in you they used to pay people saying they and uh we don't necessarily do that today but definitely does not want anyone to oppress the poor god cares very much about this father shall not be put to death for their sons nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers everyone shall be put to death for his own sin well thank goodness for that um sometimes our kids may not do what's right and they're going to have to pay for their own sin and uh it's sad we never want our kids to do wrong but the responsibility as we've grown up and become adults and young adults it's it's on you um and you know it's going to be on you in the end maybe you can't you can't save your kids they have to save themselves meaning they have to place their faith in Jesus now obviously we care very much and we do what we can to help our children to know and love the lord but ultimately as they grow up and become adults they're going to have to make their own decision to follow god and to trust him you shall not pervert the justice do an alien or an orphan or take a widow's garment and pledge but you shall remember that you are a slave in Egypt and that the lord your god redeemed you from there they're flying commanding you to do this thing he's commanding us to not pervert justice to the alien or the orphan or the widow um again caring very much about people who i need when you reap your harvest in your field and have forgotten a sheath in the field you shall not go back to get it it shall be for the alien for the orphan and for the widow in order that the lord your god may bless you in the work of your hands you're supposed to leave a little bit behind uh for the poor to pick it and be able to eat when you beat your olive tree you shall not go over the bows again it shall be for the alien for the orphan and for the widow and finally verse 21 and 22 when you gather the graves of your vineyard you shall not go over it again it shall be for the alien for the orphan and for the widow you should remember that you are a slave in the land of Egypt therefore i am commanding you to do this thing so you know most of us don't have this kind of a situation where we have fields or olive trees or things of that nature if we did we're supposed to leave some behind so that the poor alien and widow could have some left behind for them but what does that say about uh our priorities and that we should care about those who are in need a lot of times we want to make excuses well they're poor because they're in alcohol or they're poor because they're on drugs or they're poor because they're not working or whatever the case may be in a lot of times maybe they're sick there's a there's a lot of reasons that people are poor um yes i think there's wisdom that can be used in helping the poor but at the same time uh i don't think we should use all those things and just make them as excuses to not give to the poor god cares about the poor and i think he's honored when we remember the poor so just keep that in mind as you reflect on how god has blessed you how you can be a blessing to those who are in need around you and that's a good and healthy thing well there we are some some challenging teachings today in deuteronomy 24 and uh i hope that it provided you some guidance even in sometimes the ambiguity or the unclarity um on how to handle certain situations and in in some cases i think god didn't give us all the answers he knows he's shared with us what his ideal is what his ultimate desire is and um we should try to live to that ultimate desire but we all have sinned and foster a little glory of god and i do believe that god is rich in mercy but that's not an excuse to do long let's thank him for his grace and mercy and seek to do what's right on our hand God bless you all. 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