I've been trying to come up with this song that I have to do and that's been really messing with me. Hey, hey, hey, you know what? You know why I didn't get the map done I was going to draw? Because I've already recorded a parody song that you have to listen to tonight. So fuck you, with your fucking eye on it, come up with a song, and it's fucking horrible, and when you hear it, it'll be the best thing I've fucking ever sung poorly in. Did I skip your jazz? Yeah, you started into the narration and I didn't want to interrupt you so I just let you keep going. No, no, no, you got to interrupt me, dude. You got to interrupt me like I'm fucking absent. Don't worry, we'll end it on a positive note. Ah, nah, I'll leave it at the troubled, I like the troubled note, the unresolved chord. Memory leak, out of range exception, like a buffer overflow. The kernel dump, which is so appropriate. Hey everybody, welcome to the Gimme Delude podcast. The TTRPG podcast desperately seeking a studio banjo player. My name's Turner. I'll be your dungeon master and host of pre, mid, and yes, post, show announcement, season four is in full swing, baby. Season four, episode two, where the goons continue their travel mountage. It's early in the season. What do you want? If you're a new listener, welcome. Thank you for joining us. And if you're a returning listener, welcome back. New or old, we sincerely appreciate you making time for us in your busy podcast listening schedule. And of course, a special thank you to our patrons, whose donations to the show help us bring you bigger and better content. To find out what they get, be chill and just let that podcast player keep running after the episode ends. Of course, Gimme Delude, not a family friendly show, due to a mix of crude humor, profanity, violence, gore, and mysteriously caught feelings. Any additional content warnings as necessary will be in the notes below. So on that note, let's start the show. Eldren, Eldren, so your mission, you stay along the same lines, right? So yeah, so the group, we came upon some people that had escaped a village and they had requested us to help save the rest of the people that were still living there because the villagers had found a crown that has the power to cast mind control on the entire village. And the person who had taken control of the relic had basically been enslaving the town to do his bidding. So we had actually arrived during a village celebration that this evil lord had been holding to celebrate his come into power and it included a fair and he was going to judge an equestrian competition, so I entered the competition with Fabio, did some dressage and some horse competition stuff, doing the jumps over the little hurdles and then while I was doing this, the rest of the crew was supposed to be trying to lift the crown from the distracted bad guy. And so yeah, while we were doing like the horse physique competition, the guy was inspecting the horse and Fabio was talking some seriously racist some shit and ended up kicking the judge in the mouth and knocking him over. So while that happened, the crown fell off and actually I fell off as well and I went to go grab the crown and it was a big pile of shit next to where the crown fell too. So kind of had to roll around in that a little bit and someone else was able to get on Fabio and that let's say it was fate, fate managed to get on Fabio. So I tossed him the crown and then he was able to take off and throw the crown into the sky and throw a flurry of fireballs at it to destroy it, to release the town from their spell. So you guys basically pick up some hitchhikers get invited to an Oktoberfest, Eldren's horse goostips around in a questrion field under the guise of it being dressage, Eldren falls in some horse poop and then fate somehow manages to save the day through fictional fireballs. So very nice, very well done. All right. Yeah, so I figured at least on our trip where we were going, we had to stop for food a few times, stopping a couple of little side towns, whatever. So on one of our trips out in the day, we pull over into another little small village to go do our general shopping. We kind of hit the center market and square, whatever, and we're all split up, gathering our food and alcohol supplies and whatnot. And then a performing crew, like a traveling band, a performers come through and start entertaining the crowd there in the plaza and we all kind of take a second to relax and enjoy the show, get distracted and actually manage to get pickpocketed for a lot of our provisions, our rations, and oh, Baba loses all of his alcohol, like it's all gone, his all of his madcat 2020 gone. So by the time the show's over, we all realize like, oh shit, we've got we've been jacked and urban bounty hunter Todd is pissed off because, you know, he doesn't have his pockets picked real often. But for some reason, they just happen to take one of his knives. They didn't take what's the damn name, sword echo? Yeah, they didn't get echo. No, they're not getting echo, brother. You know, echo would have made noise, but plus Todd was, you know, hands on the hilts type. Yeah, so but he got his pocket picked for a couple of daggers or whatever. So he's pissed off about it. So urban bounty hunter Todd's like, we're getting our back. So Todd leads us through the town we do actually managed to track the the thieves down to a little abandoned hut slash warehouse outside of town. And then in that situation, you know, we're like, you know, we don't really know who all we're dealing with here, let's try and play this smart for once. And through a little bit of intimidation and whatnot, Baba convinces Todd and more to cooperate. And they go in and they leave me and Elgin outside to provide coverage, just in case shake gets weird. So they go in, me and Elgin outside just kind of watching the perimeter or whatever, we hear a loud bang inside. And then right as we go to like go inside to try and help them, all the bandits appear outside and me and Elgin are now jumped and we've been stuck up on. And now we're in close quarters combat. And you know, neither one of us is built for that or at least, you know, less so than the rest of the group. It's because Todd, although he agreed to go inside, like, you know, stick to the plan, Todd doesn't sneak and you know, he's not the greatest of rogues. So he didn't stop to check for any traps and y'all all fell into a pit trap together. So while y'all are in there dealing with that, me and Elgin now have to fight our way out of this uh, 2v8. And so the story was supposed to go where like Elgin sucks and an I cast my new spell, Tensor's transformation and beats everybody's ass. And that was going to be how, you know, I'm great. Elgin sucks. And then we all keep pushing. But I guess we're flipping that. So that means Elgin gets to be there by his ass. I get to, I get to, uh, cower in fear as normal. Todd, what was your event slash side quest? Oh, okay. So my event is, uh, you guys pick up a flyer for this at the Oktoberfest and it's begun to, uh, gather your attention, I think. Yeah, I remember the, the beating I took at the, um, to, it, it, when I was getting my monk abilities and I, and I got to prove to myself that I'm still that guy, I got to prove it to myself. And I saw a flyer for the regional iron golem competition with, you don't know about the iron golem. It's like an iron man competition. Uh, there are three events that I have to do. There are, there is, uh, a swim through giant crocodile and fester waters. There is a marathon run where being chased by a, what is it, a pack of Trexigores. I think they're called Trexigores. And the last one is a, instead of a bike, we have a mount race where we have to take our mounts and race. And that's the winner of this. And I decided it'd be funny if I entered fate in this competition, knowing how physically fit fate is. It'd be great if me and him both entered into this, uh, this iron golem contest. So, uh, yeah, we are going to have competitive friends because I've learned when any time being chased by an animal, you don't have to be the fastest. You just don't have to be the slowest. And that is why fate is with me because I know fate will be the slowest in these competitions. So to the roll off, we begin fate. And I think because you having learned your lesson with the oops, we left Morrie behind thing, uh, the entire cast is going to have to participate in this because that deposit was non-refundable and was a lot of the cash reserves. So this will be a roll off for everybody. Uh, we're gonna, we're gonna do an athletics check per event. Uh, and this will tell us really who's the most fit of the party of five in a lot of different contexts. So athletics check. Can I for this, uh, can I sneakily cast enhance ability on fate, a bull's strength to give him advantage on his strength checks? Well, you're here too. So you want to cast it on fate? Yeah, no, I want, I want, I want fate to be taught. You won't, won't have to. Uh, in that case, I'll allow it because Harlan said something. So yes, no, there's no sneakily about it, but that's, that's all the shenanigans in this, uh, in this round. I'm gonna say, say good game to everybody, give everyone a handshake. I'm just bobbing and we've been looking at fate, just jumping around because I'm ready. I'm ready to get it. Let's get physical, physical. Can I cast a water bubble first? Okay, spit out the water bubble. Yes. Aldrin, is there anything that you want to do to, to give you, uh, an opportunity to do better? You just rolled a seven. Oh, yeah. Can I cast haste? I'm gonna cast haste, haste, haste, cast haste. Uh, you can cast haste on yourself, but remember this is a one mini. It's a big event. There is something else you could do that would increase, greatly increase your speed. You want me to wild shape into an animal? Is that what you're trying to do? You don't know. Let's go. I mean, you could do that. I'm just saying that you could, this could be a good reveal for that. Nobody else seems to know about it yet. Uh, yeah, why, why not? Let me see you. Oh, the fuck I can. Uh, what is the CR three? I tell you what, I'll let you do that. I will let you just pick one of the three roles to have advantage on by wild shaping into an animal that's appropriate for that particular event. It's that cool. All right. So on that note, what's the first event, Todd? Uh, the first event is a swim through with, uh, giant crocodiles. Okay, roll for speed up. Everybody roll for whether or not a speedo is, is one or required. What, what do we roll? What is it? D 20? D 20. Yeah. Performance or? Yeah, we go. Is it better to be higher? Dealer's choice on that. Dealer's choice. I mean, I rolled the 17. I don't know. I rolled an 11. 13. I, I'm definitely rolling the speedo. It's more our dynamic and when dealing with shot. Yeah, I was going to say anybody, anybody who rolls below a 10 is wearing a speedo. So strangely enough, the only one who comes out in one, Maury. And, and you know, you all know, they didn't own them a speedo 15 minutes before. So, there is somebody unconscious in the bushes somewhere. Volka insisted, guys. Yeah. That's wing. Losers don't complain. Winners don't complain. I don't know. I'm supposed to just be a mouth. Why did I, if I could make this thing talk? All right. Uh, right. Uh, we do our first athletic shows. Give me the rundown. All right. I'm going to roll. I haven't rolled. Come on, big roll, big roll. Oh, 27 off the gate. What, what, what am I adding tomorrow? Just advantage. Oh, dear God. I need an eight for Maury. I think I'm the worst. I think I got a, no, that's acrobatics. I didn't even roll the right thing. Adrian had a seven. And it was a plus three too. So, oh, that was for the speedo. Did you do the athletics wrong? No, he rolled the 17 for speedo. I have a plus five to athletics. So, if I do that, it would be a do athletics. Yes, they're all athletics. Oh, jazz with the 24. Oh, damn. And what do you get, Baba? 22. No, it's about the same. It's eight. So Maury and a, and Elgin are like, the gunfire is off. Todd, the green slightly jumps into the water, just immediately starts stroking away the tail, the new tail, fucking acting like a propeller, fucking goddamn cartoon style. Surprisingly enough fate. Actually, you know what? They appeared to have a pool. Maybe he was on Corlone made to Academy swim team secretly. As he jumps in, you're like, wait a minute, that motherfucker can swim. And then Baba, 22, you know, your body immediately starts trying to reabsorb the water. So it creates a little bit of extra drag. So the, the other two fells get a little bit more of a jump on you. Maury, you just are not very good at swimming in Eldren. I think you feel bad for them and don't want them to drown. So it's more of a buddy swim situation. Like, guys, hey, I think Maury's struggling and the other three competitive fuckers are gone and you're like, God damn it. Okay, come on, put your arm around me and assist Maury. I don't know if Maury's ever tried to swim. I don't even know if Maury's poignant, quite frankly, but Eldren does the right thing because he's the hero of this arc and helps Maury across. What's up next? Oh, next is a run while being chased by a pack of tracksadors or tracksadors. I mean, what are, what are tracksadors? I thought they were like, uh, like lions or tigers. Oh, my, they have invisibility as well. That's what I thought they'd be pretty cool forgotten rooms, wiki, I think you got into that shit. I was just trying to look up some pretty quick some pretty quick, uh, beast tracks. How do you spell it? Tracksagor. Maybe I'm wrong. This is, this looks like it's a, it's a sea ot, which is not what I want. Oh, no, too bad. Too bad. I go to different websites and this is not the one I did. No, you are now being chased by a fucking swarm of fucking rabid ravenous land otters. Otters are hardcore. Those things will kill you. Can I get them all riled up by electrical shock? Yes. Maury, you have your hand up. If you Google D and D tracksagor, the first result isn't Reddit posts. It says, what the fuck is tracksagor? Why is there a CR 12 water? That's, that's what I did. I like the CR 12 chaotic beast. I was like, oh, this looks pretty cool. And the picture. You didn't look at the picture? No, wait, wait. I went to D and D beyond. Why is there a CR 12 otter casting spells in my D and D beyond? Be scary. Tracksagor was an 18th level spellcaster. I was like, oh, no. But when you go to, when you go to the wiki, there's no picture of it. So it's like a silhouette and the silhouette to me kind of look like. But it's just to be silhouette. I thought it was that silhouette for that. He's a wizard. He turned himself into an otter field, the wish spell. They're not as, they're not as tough as I thought. He's in hell. This is from descent into a furnace. He's a wizard in hell. Turn himself into an otter. This is what happens. You guys go, okay. All right, everybody. Are we ready to run from tracksagor? The dreaded tracksagor, everybody. They're one of the most terrible fiends you've ever seen. And these warlocks come out and there's this giant pentagram done drawn up and fucking mysterious blood is splashed across it. And there's this chant, these screaming demonic flames burst out of the pentagram and slowly raising out of the center of an arms crossed eyes glowing a deep hateful red is the evilest otter you have ever fucking seen. It is tracksagor. And he goes, I take metals, tremble, blah, tracksagor on your mark, get set, go. And he begins casting a spell. I'll take off knowing that that spell is going to hurt a role fucking athletics. They let tracksagor out of the shadow library once a year for this event. How did you mistake so good? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, Todd, that's a crit. That's a crit fail. That's a one. Oh, Todd, that's a 16. And for the advantage, let's go. I'm not going to I'm not going to worry about getting an at one on this one. Okay, I got I got an at one. This isn't good. I didn't need it. I'm not the worst. Oh, no. Oh, no. Bob did a swell with me. I got a 17. I got the net 20. You don't have to be the fastest. You just don't have to be the slowest. So here's the unfortunate thing I went because I have been doing because of the nature of this. I was like, I've been looking up kind of weird little curses and stuff that to be part of the Feywild arc. And when Todd rolled the net one, I was like, well, we're just going to go to the Feywild kind of hijinks chart that I had fucking on deck for for weird stuff. This arc. And then Bob rolled net one. I'm like, Oh, fuck. Sorry. I'm Anthony Todd stepped on his dick and cheers. That gun goes off. Fate looks over and fate's not a fucking fool. He's a wizard. He knows exactly who Traxigore is and with the power of coward is fueled beyond his means. There you go. He fucking bolts full of speed. Morey has heard the stories. Ogman used to be like, kids, if you're not good, I'll call Traxigore up to get you. So immediately goes into that fucking otter. I'm not going to clean my room when I get back to the window made Joe turns into just a ball. It goes rolling away. Eldren, she's kind of struggling to go. All right, cool. And take off at the side of Traxigore. I laugh because I can't there's no way this thing could be dead. Yeah. And in doing so, spin around to point left and fucking step on Bob's tail and throw him off his mark. Traxigore unleashes his curse on you. And let me pull this up a bit so I can have a little slightly minor curse. Did you fuck up so good? Who asked that question earlier? I'm going to let you know. I thought he was a tiger with some sort of the only thing that comes up when I search Traxigore as a bunch of art of otters. Fucking otter with a red cape, man. Wait, no. So I went through I went to D&D Beyond's monsters, right? Yeah. And they have that silhouette when they don't have a picture. I know exactly what you're talking about. Oh, I see it. Yes. But it's for all of them. I just because I started typing and I was like, okay, I want it's like a CR two. I didn't want anything big. I don't know how I got this. That's like, that's like you read the first line of an essay that you bought from a kid and you turn it in thinking that no, this is the D&D version of not reading below the fucking headline is exactly what this is. I thought a tiger with invisibility as a spell would be pretty cool to run from. That is what I thought I was getting. I didn't think I was getting a level 18 spellcaster. I could have just put displacer beasts in there or any other, you know, yep. Any other fucking thing? No, no. Welcome to our show, everybody. He doesn't really change. He walks really slowly and casts cursed on people. He walks slow and just casts. I didn't read any of this. It even says it was a polymorph into an otter years ago. It's a bottom of the description. I didn't even get that far. I was too busy at the top. I'm so all right. Beast, tiny, cat and good. That's awesome. Urban environment right up tiny, tiny, beast, tiny. Yeah. That's long enough timeline. Any creative endeavor for you all will produce one of these things like this fucking thousand monkeys typing in a thousand typewriters. I need one Harlan googling shit poorly. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. All right. You both have y'all roll a D8. Oh, suit you got a sense of Anthony. I did do this. Just a flat D8. Yeah, just a flat D8. I got a three. I got a one. Baba, your ears are magically replaced by a pair of soft fuzzy donkey ears. How cute. Todd, whenever you start to laugh, you bray like a donkey. Both of you got the donkey. Oh, now he finally sounds like the jack as he is. This will last until someone casts remove curse on you. What? I don't have that. What? It's crazy. It's stupid. I find it clear. So, yeah, not if y'all think I'm the trophy, the the iron gullible. Yeah, these encounters were spread out over the span of about the two-week trip. So you guys have gotten through the central part of Newark are finally getting to the edge of the winding way to start to run out. And you kind of trundle off that last little bit of winding way back on to the more traditional cart and track paths to where you're about three days out now from from the central community and ranger enclave where you spent your youth and most of your formative years out and where you technically call home, although you don't spend a ton of time there. It's really where your roots are. And you guys are camping down camping down for the night. So you pull the wind image off, you find a nice scenic little area that is decent enough away from the the road. Yeah, it's kind of a well-established camp area. You can see where other people have built up campfires in the past and cleared them out. You're able to park the winter major by a nice little small little pond like a small little freshwater spring that as night starts to set in again, it's that crisp fall evening where the pond is that slow little kind of silvery mist hanging above it. The quiet of the deck forest is different than any of the others that you encounter. I mean, look, this is a fantasy world. There's not a ton of light pollution, but there, you know, there are major cities. I mean, fucking Taliesin glows constantly. Like there's not a single aspect of it that doesn't glow. Noark fate absolutely does. Baba, I think you're probably been in this kind of environment before out in the jungles, but, you know, the top of she have a number of major urban centers as well. And certainly, there is the glow of the ancestor lights that carry through the different villages. But there is just something about this being out this deep into the woods and to this level of quiet that is completely peaceful and somewhat unnerving at the same time. You guys have to go to camp down for the night. Are you eating in the winter major or are you setting up a little camp outside? Walk me through how you guys would kind of just have a little chill out time together before you went into your guard rotation and then what's your guard rotation going to be? I mean, I mean, in the winter major. Yeah, we get into winter major. I'm not I'm not too concerned on where we cook. If you know me personally, I'm just going to make sure that I find some way to nag Harlan or not hard nag Todd about his cooking skills, which we should try and make him before going to trick him into showing off his cooking skills so that he cooks for everybody. That's not going to happen. It's okay. Todd doesn't know how to he can't cook for this amount of people and keep it like at a good temperature and have it come out right. Clearly, this is why he's not a caterer. Clearly, if he was capable of cooking for a large feast for this many people, he would be doing that like he started off. So ironically, here's what happens. As you start to try and nag Todd about his cooking, Todd, you can feel his intent. You're like, oh, he's trying to play on my ego because he really loves my food and wants me to cook. It's not that articulated, but you know the undercurring emotional intent behind his actions. You just understand it. And that's probably the first time that you've actively been able to separate the word from the feeling to it. Because a lot of times it's just the environment. It's just kind of the crowd noise of you guys being around each other. You've been around each other for an indeterminate amount of time, you wind me time, that a lot of the back and forth just kind of gets drowned out with the insanity that your lives have become. But in this quieter moment, you realize that psychic empathy that you have for each other has really advanced to the point where even random ballbusting is, there's a little bit lost to it because you can't get it in its purest form anymore. Now it's like knowing the punchline to a joke that you appreciate, but it never will have that same moment of surprise that it's been told anymore. And while it's still gratifying to Todd's ego to know that fate really does like his cooking, it's also a little bit disheartening to know that that piece of that dynamic is kind of gone. Yeah, you're a loser. See that didn't even feel, I bet you'd be calling you a loser, you didn't even feel it, did you? I meant it, but you know. Did he mean it? I don't know. Inside's trick. I don't know. I meant it anymore. This is weird. It's so weird. I don't know. It's meant to be weird. That's it exactly. Oh, I don't like what he just did to us. Oh, like what he just did. They're besties now. And it's hard to part when he calls you a loser fate. You know, he's like, man, this motherfucker can cast some damaging spells. Like that is the vibe that you get. I'm just not fair. You know that. Yep. Yep. It is awkward bro hugs all the way around every fucking time. And none of you like it. Morie. Except Morie. This is Morie's shit. Morie's got a student of hearts extended to two of them, slowly inching them together. No keys. No kids? A lot. Not the bike Tyson. No kids. Still dirty. From over on Morie's shoulder blade here. If the people that cooking is good, that fucking shit he made last time was God damn insane. Let's go. Let's go. Book a hungry hungry. Anything. Any other moments before I go into my shit, put yourself in the window, Major, where you would be at dinner time. Someone will attack us at dinner? No. But it is important to know where you're at. Where's I'm where I'm at. Is my token currently by the cooking? Are we are we all eating individually or together? My token is at the table where I'll leave it there. Todd, do you end up actually cooking the meal or what's the case? Yeah, I guess I'm with where I'm at. It's like, looks like that. Yeah, you're in the kitchen here. So just to rehash the the window, Major has a spacious front cab, a communal bedroom, the equipment bay in the back where the tight cycle and the nuclear engine revolves a communal area with a kind of a bookshelf that's secured in place where the books are magically kept on the shelf when no matter how fast the window, Major was going with a little card table in front of it for studying scrolls to kind of picnic-esque bench. They're not picnic tables with their tables with these benches that are secured to the floor that slide in and out on tracks and can be locked into place. And then a kitchenette that has a water source that perpetually produces water, an icebox that is perpetually cooled. All the trappings of a modern artificer's kitchen, as far as appliances and utensils on that north wall. So I'm over here helping and just as chopping and just feeding some to Boca. Every time you go down to reach for something to pick it up, Boca puts their mouth in the palm of your hand and fights whatever you're picking up. It is disconcerting, to say the least. So you guys have settled in for an evening and then there is a knock at the door. A solid metallic wrap of an armored fist, not forcibly pounding on the door, but it is unmistakably a armored fist clanging against the door to get your attention. The door is on the... It is on the southern side. If you're looking at the one of the major ones that's currently displayed, it would be this little kind of chainy looking pieces there. So the closest one to the door is fate. You have like a people, is there a people we can look through? There's a little curtain, you know, one of those RV curtains that's kind of held in place by a tight rod. Yeah, but Bob would get them and looks outside. Who is it? Standing about 10 feet back from the door flanked by two massive nights in plate armor is trietherion. Oh, that asshole. All right, so it's been a minute since we've done one of these. So bear with me if I micro machine the shit out of this because there are quite a bit of things for us to discuss. Number one, Monday Night's Twitch. We stream it, show up, 8 p.m. Central Standard Time, twitch.tv/gmdlcast in the show notes below. All kinds of variety content. We've been slacking on the APs a little bit for the last couple of months, but those will reboot after we go to JynCon. Hey, by the way, transitioning into we are doing our very first live show at JynCon. So if you have the opportunity to be in the Indianapolis area, area area, no, definitely area, although I don't know, it depends on how the trip goes. Then be sure to grab tickets to both our first live ever AP and our diversity seminar on how to make your tables more inclusive. That last one will include frequent show collaborators Wendell and, of course, Jeremy Cobb, famously known for playing Elias Tarari on the show. And apparently he has another podcast called Three Black Halflings and it's wildly more successful than ours. So, you know, thought that would be a funny bit. And now I'm sad. But you know what would make me happy? If you come over and hang out, not at my place, don't please don't do that. But in our Discord, where an incredible group of people get together, talk about the show and have formed an incredible little community that I am so proud of and that you are missing out by not being a part of if you're not already in there right now. And you know what else could cheer me up while you're really trying to, you know, lift my spirits? You know, a review, maybe one of those five star reviews or comments or a like or a follow or a subscribe or a retweet or a a zazzle. I don't know what things are called anymore. I'm old. And the only way that my poor, absent-minded, meandering old man heart can stand to go on as with your constant online praise and improvement. So please, please head over to whichever platform provide you with your podcast entertainment and rate reviews. Subscribe. Boost us on socials. Give us a shout out. We desperately need the attention. Oh, well, the show, the show desperately needs the attention. The show does. So, while I question my motivations, let's get back to the show. Guys, I believe the lawyer guard is outside. There's a guard outside. Cool. Do you think he wants dinner? I think you should get behind him. We're gonna take off. She probably opened the door. What? Why would you open the door? Yeah, he's not gonna let us leave. He's not going to kill us either. No. We've been, we've been. I say, y'all know I'm a DT. Do you really think I can't hear the shit y'all are saying in there? I'm being polite. It would do you-- Colonel? It would do you wise to-- Harlot? To come out and have a conversation with me, although that thing that just spoke should stay inside. All right. Hear about. So, yeah, Baba opens up and goes outside. He gives you a slight nod and then is waiting for everybody else. Yeah, the Eldren follows. Oh, I guess I go outside. Do I stay here guys? Yes, Maury, you should probably stay there. This is like a-- you guys were friends before we met. This is-- I don't want to feel left out, so I'm gonna stay in here. Fate. Can you mind link? If we mind link, we can only talk to each other. We can't hear what he's over here. Right? Nope, that's full sensory input right now from now on. Yep, so-- You see, feel, smell. It is full sensory input time, baby. Oh, no. Yeah, okay. Only if this is a little while I'm in the bathroom. Oh, that's gonna suck a roll in the same room. Yep, so roll safe, mind links on. It is a little overwhelming if you're all in the same room. So, yeah, all right. So, fate you're activating the mind link? Yes. Maury, give me a wisdom saving throw. Goddamn it. Okay, that's six. Okay, roll a D4. Hold my dice and hands. I remember. Roll a D4. One. A three. All right, you will wait approximately three rounds worth of time before getting so fucking curious. You sneak out of the back of the win-a-mejo and try and sneak around the side. Okay. So, when you deem appropriate, give me a stealth check to try and have crept out, because I appreciate that Maury did ask, but there is no way in the world that they can resist for too long before the, that's a god out there starts to kick in, especially the god that fate flirted with. Like, there's a lot going on there that is very difficult for Maury to resist. But I get to hear everything, right? Yes, yes, yes. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Galatasia? What? No. Wait, Galatasia? Nope. Okay, all right. So, you guys step out, put yourself outside the win-a-mejo where you would be. Fader, you're standing in the doorway? Okay. That tracks. Guys, I'll stand out, fate stands in the doorway silhouetted by the light of the win-a-mejo. He goes, "Well, now, I have to say, y'all, I was surprised by the most recent turn of events. Y'all don't need to be nervous. If I wanted to attack, y'all, I would have attacked y'all. Is it because of these fellas? Fellas, y'all go on back to the woods with your friends. I'll summon y'all if something, something doesn't go right." And the two nights, you know, silently turned. What's everybody's passive perception real quick? 17. 16. 15. 11. Even Todd notices that you guys have encountered these paladins before. And previously, their full plate armor was very uniform and non-descript, but something has changed since the last time that you saw them. These two, they still carry the symbols of tratherion on their armor, but it is much, much more fancier and much more distinct. One has almost a flame pattern to him. Another one has the swirling, not necrotic, like you would attribute it the color of psychic energy if you were going to name like a color to that, with that purplish indigo energy that is expressed whenever psychic spells are cast, kind of swirling across his armor, this weird shoulder piece on each one of them is much bigger on one side than the other. And they pivot and silently drift back into the woods. You are used to these type of warriors and plate armors making nothing but more creeks and clangs and groans than a dad getting out of his chair at five in the afternoon. But how silent they move, they almost seem to skate across the floor of the forest. Tratherion waves his hand over towards the fire pit. It bursts into flames. He whips a hand forward. Three logs roll up. Now, Jennifer, come on. There's no reason for us to be at odds. In fact, if anything, we've been working at mutual purposes, it seems like recently, and I just think we should sit down and we should just hash things out and have a little chat before things get out of hand. I think there's been a real misunderstanding, and he goes and he sits down on a log and invites y'all to come on over. Imagine I had drawn a fire pit because I had time to make the map and not do something else. A little fire pit over here with some logs next to it, and he's sitting on the opposite side in front of just a homey sparkly looking fire. Again, nine feet tall, gleaming, gleaming white suit, razor-sharp goatee. It's got a little bit of elements of Todd's goatee to him, but yeah, it looks very much like a divine Colonel Sanders sitting now across from this log. Come on, y'all, come on, sit down. Let's chat. We got some ideas. There's some things I don't think y'all understand that if we talk through, we'll be a little bit more clear. That's not like y'all can win any more anyway. Thanks to fate and his decision. We have everything we need to be completely successful in our plans. Wait, what? Come on, just come on to sit down. Let's have a minute. What? Fate, what the fuck is he talking about? What decision was that? What? Fate. What did you do? I didn't, I didn't do anything. What is? He's... Bob will have to cut a bitch. Do not speak to fate that way, Bob, but that's completely unnecessary. Come on, sit down here. I won't hear you talk to him like that. This feels like somebody is not a part of the team, but let's hear out what he has to say. So I'll walk over. All right, I'll go over there. Yeah, I'm pretty curious right now. I'm here. Boom. That's a 14 on my stealth roll. Okay, we'll address that in just a moment. How far, how far away are we from? Not enough to trigger anything. Just be, yeah, you're good. Just pretty obvious. Come on down, fate. What are you doing back there? So look, y'all, and we'll address that in a moment there, Maury. Look. He's still in the doorway. Yeah, fight. Come on, just come on, fight. There ain't no need to be timid. I appreciate your demure nature, but there's no, there's nothing to be afraid of here. I know you've been through a lot. Come sit down. Fate gets close, but refuses to sit next to the rest of the team. Like a teen. Come and sit, fate, as the voice reverberates into your skull. Fate make a wisdom saving. So DC 25. Okay. Damn. Oh, it's a 24. Oh, man. Oh, my God. You try. Oh, so close. You guys recognize that command spell. You've actually seen Moyle cast it a few times. It is a very temporary thing. And when he did it, there was this spike of irritation that, out of everybody, you didn't come and sit down, Fate. And he looks abashed for a moment. You guys can see that he looks ashamed. I'm sorry. I did not mean to lose my temper. It's just, this has been a challenging number of, I don't even know how long it's been. How much do y'all really know about the gods? Enough. Other than our conversations with you and kind of the general law. Right. Right. Well, so let's, let's start, I guess, kind of at the beginning here. Now, y'all know that God's bias showed up around, I'll say 4,000-ish years ago and change things on this planet. Have y'all ever wondered why none of the gods in the pantheon that is widespread or any of the established religions, well, why none of them look like y'all. No. Well, because y'all are native species. Fate, you went to Corallon University, right? Yes, I did. Who is Corallon? The God of the Elves. Right. Does he have any churches? No, no, no. Corallon is more like a, like a King Arthur kind of style figure here. More of a legendary figure. Yeah. Very, too. Got you. But it's not worshiped. It's acknowledged as possibly a ancient elf, but doesn't have, doesn't grant the supposed to be there. So that's right. Bobby, you guys ended up worshiping ancestors. Todd, you are a whole other separate thing I don't particularly care to talk about, but at some point you are human. At least y'all, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, and Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand,
