Steve and Captain Evil are taking full advantage of summer, and are trying to build as many memories with the kids as they can. Find out what life lessons they are learning with their Dad.
Steve & Captain Evil: The Podcast
Life Lessons with Dad
(upbeat music) - All right. Do you look extra hot there? - Do you look delicious? - Thank you. You know what? I'm having a really good hair day today. - Well, you're gonna get it tonight. - And I feel it. I'm having a good hair day. - You're pretty sure you're gonna get it. You're gonna get it. And if you don't get it, I'm a good person. (laughing) We'll report next week if I got it, if she got it or not. - Yeah, we wrote. - We'll report. - No, if Renee was willing percipotent, percipotent. I don't know what I'm saying. - Percipotent? - Percipotent? I don't think that, is that the word? - Percipotent. - I think you're just call me impotent. Impatent. Steve is impotent. - Impatent, impotent, impotent together. - But welcome to the show. I am very unprepared today. - Oh well, I was gonna say, I feel like I gotta be honest. Usually I'm like excited for us to sit down. And not that I'm not excited for us to sit down today. But I just feel like I've had a lot of you lately. We've had a lot of each other lately. So what are we gonna talk about? - I never say that. I want more of Renee. And Renee's like, when are you leaving? Ugh. I want my life back to get back on the road. (laughing) No, we actually went to, we have a little home. A humble abode, if you will, in Rockport, Texas. And I don't even know if I wanna talk about it. - It's a little beach cottage. - Because Rockport is such a little secret right now. - Yeah. - And everybody's trying to get into Port Aransas. And we're just gonna shut up. Rockport sucks. It's terrible. 'Cause it's still very sleepy. They have amazing market days. It's like a little fishing village. - Yeah. - You know, and what I really like about Rockport, if I'm speaking frankly, and gonna let all these people know, and they're gonna ruin our lives. 'Cause they're all coming. I used to talk about, at the Comedy Store, how great Texas, and I'm a Texan, and Texas is the best, and I used to run my mouth, and all these fucking comedians, came over here and followed me. I'm like, shit, I should've shut up. I should've told them how shitty it was. (laughing) I was the only Texan out there preaching, you know? But no, Rockport, what I really like about Rockport, is it's very quaint still. - It's not overcrowded. - And it's not overcrowded. And when you fish out there, or when you get in the bay, you don't see any of the industry. Porter-Ranzas, and O'Ranzas Pass, and the Island, there's a lot of industry out there. - What do you mean you mean like oil raise, though? - The refineries, and the smoke, and the exhaust flames, and when you go out of Rockport, and fish like St. Joe's Island, it feels very secluded, it feels very peaceful, serene, very beachy. You know, when you fish in and around O'Ranzas Pass, in O'Ranzas Bay, where most people fish, you know, there's literally cranes and freaking old pipes in the water. And I mean, it's just, you know, it's not the same, right? So we did go to Rockport. We actually bought that house right after Harvey. - We actually started the podcast in that house. We started-- - Yes, because we spent COVID there. - Yes. - And I, it's, oh, by the way, 'cause it's on my mind. A lot of people agreed with me last episode. - I don't know, I had a lot of people on my page who commented Team Captain Evil. They was said, "Cue the violence." - No, you know, what they said was, I will always back you up, Renee. Basically, ride or die, even if you're a dick, we're back in you up. We will not, we will not vary for that. But a lot of people were like, hey, you know, Steve's right. And even some women were like, hey, I like to let my husband rest. And I like to be aware. But I just wanna say, for the first time, or second, maybe third time, I actually won an argument with the family outfit. - Do you think so? You think that was a win? I don't know. I think we need to do like an Instagram. - I think people, I honestly think people are starting to sympathize with me. I think people are starting to watch the podcast and they're going, oh, I'm figuring this out. I get it. I get it. - One comment was brutal and I'm not gonna read it. - Oh, I guess I have to go read the comments. - One comment was Ayyayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay Babyface. Basically, one guy was like, hey, he had the courage or she had the courage to go, Renee's abusive. - Just be up on your behalf. - Yes, I'm not gonna read the comment, but I'm just telling you. - It's gonna make me cry? - You're gonna have to call me Mr. Freud. - You're not gonna like it, but here we go. - It's okay, I go to my therapist tomorrow. - Oh, thank God. - I'm working out. (laughing) - Let's see here. So was it on here? It might have been on, it was it on... - All I know is my sister said she's on my team. - Okay, here we go. I love it 'cause it's also Latino. Renee's chiflada, manipulator, manipulator. She's complained about taking care of the kids for less before. Steve had to force himself after three days of work if it was the other way around, Renee would have changed the schedule so she can rest and we would have heard. I had to take care of the kids and I was up and down so many days. I care and hope the best for you, Steve. (laughing) You have a happy family, Steve, great job. (laughing) - It was not three days of work. - Look, I did a joke, I did a joke in Relatable where I said Renee makes the rules but does not have to follow them. And that is so true. You are right when it's on the other side, then things are different. But when it's on my side, things are different. So, you want me to read it? - Wasn't the comments that were on my page were like, Renee gave you an out. Renee said she's got the kids covered. - Did we not travel home for two days with the kids by myself? - Oh my god, that's true. - My bad, present was it, did I tell you while you were gonna, while I was doing it by myself, it's okay, the kids are good. - Were your tickets first class? Were you in first class? - No, because our flights got changed. - But were they in first class? - They were booked that way. - Chief Lada. - For those people that don't know what Chief Lada means, it means she is spoiled. - Yes I am. - She is spoiled, she is a spoiled. So, I didn't even wanna read you the comment. I didn't even wanna read you the comment. Yeah, let me hear it, let me see it. - I'm not that bothered by that comment. - I know you're not, you don't give a fuck, dude. I get bothered, like things bother me, I have a heart and a soul. Renee's like, nah, well dude, when we first got together, Renee goes, just so you know, you know who you're with. I am who I am, and deal with it. - No. - Dude, I would've been like, bitch, you know who I am? You know who you married? - You were, I didn't know who I married. - And you changed all of it. - No. - And you were like, that's not okay, that's not okay. You can't do that. I'm like, what about you, you're doing this, this, not. I am who I am. Fucking deal with it. Have you seen my ass? It's nice. Tatiana's laughing over there. - I'm laughing too. I'm laughing too. - You see my hair. Beautiful hair. (laughing) But, you know, I'll be honest, like, you know, going to Rockport for me, you know, I did it for my family. You guys love it. And for me, it was like, oh gosh, pack another bag. I just wanted to be home. I'm like, pack another bag, go down to Rockport. And then, dude, getting out of there is misery for me. Misery. But, we had a good time. I was able to take Garrett fishing, and it was hot as hell, but we fished. - Yeah. - And we caught some-- - It caught a big old fish. He had fun. He had a good time. He was it, man. And I just loved that he loves it. And for an eight-year-old, you know, I mean, it was hot. I mean, it was in the, it was '96, '97, '98 degree. - Wasn't it green? So it was, like, steamy. - Oh, steamy. And the whole time, I'm thinking, okay, at some point, he's gonna be like, oh, it's hot. And we weren't catching a lot of fish. - Yeah. - It was, we really had to work to catch our fish. And most times, when you go out with a guide, you know, they know where the fish are. But none of the guys were catching. Which is one of those days. - Yeah. - And we were hustling for him. And get it never once was like, hey, I wanna go home. Hey, it's too hot. I'm hungry. I'm miserable. - Yeah. - None of that. I mean, he was, every time we'd catch one. Okay, okay, let's stay. We're gonna catch more. And I just love it. And I think, I really do think I have an exceptional young man for a son. - Yeah. - And I'm also taking the same page out of my dad's book where my dad was like, you're always gonna be with me. You know, you're gonna be with me. And even if it's just you and men, you're gonna be with me. - Yeah. - And I take that philosophy with Garrett, where I'm like, dude, you're with me, right? You're gonna be with me. We're gonna do things, even when I have to run errands with my dad, I'm like, you're coming with me. - Yeah. - You're gonna be with the men. And I think that that has been a real success in my life with my dad, knowing how to be around your dad, knowing how to be around other men, learning those skills, I think it helped me out in life tremendously. However, it also made me way more mature and way older because of it. - Yeah. - But I'm trying to find that balance for Garrett of, - You get to be a kid. - Yeah, you get to be a kid and hang out with your friends, but I also want you with me. You know, Eric and Mason were, I don't know your dad in your life, Mason, was that kind of the case for you or? - What, involved? - Yeah, it's just with him all the time. - Yeah, a lot of, a lot, I didn't sometimes like dad, a lot, unless I was working with him. - Yeah. - So that was a lot. But then like every now and then we go right by, it's like EMX and stuff. - Cool, and do some cool stuff. How about you? Well, I know your dad, you know. - Everything, plumbing, fishing, horses, baseball. - Everything together. And it helps, I mean, because you have this relationship with your father and it takes a man to lead by example, not just to tell you. - Right. - What it is to me. - Well, and then it becomes, it just becomes, we're not, it's not about we're learning this today. It is just a way of life, right? They're learning things constantly. And you're, or you're teaching them things constantly without them feeling like, oh, I'm getting a lesson or oh, I'm being schooled, you know? - How about, how about you, Rick? Were you and your dad together all the time? - Well, my parents were divorced at such a young age. So I only saw them every other weekend and he lived on a farm and who wants to live on a farm other than you. - Yeah, just me, but it is, you know, for me, at least, I learned so much just being with my dad. - Yeah. - I learned so much from how to do things, how to communicate with other men, how to be respectful, how to shake hands, you know, I mean, just all those things. - Just by watching him. - Just by watching, you know? And, you know, men, you know, there's an art to shit talking. You know, there's an art to when men are together, giving each other a hard time and it's so funny 'cause Garrett at eight will swing one out there and you're like, oh, that was really good, but a little disrespectful, you're eight, but that was really good. - That's what's hard is I see him. He'll have moments where he slips and he's like, oh, wait, I'm not with the guys. - All right. - And you're like, catch himself, say something. - But teaching him that too. - Or he'll make a joke with me that I'm like, uh-uh, like that might fly over there, but that does not fly over here. - Which is something that is also something that is learned. - Yeah. - And you have to teach to go, hey, when you're with the guys, this level of tomfoolery and bullshit is allowed, but when we're with the ladies, you know, and it's hard because I'm his dad and I'm a comedian. I'm a well-known comedian and when people are around me, females included, I'm able to joke harder than most men. - You were, you get a pass. - You're able to get away with saying shit that the average male does not. - Right. - Yeah, yeah. - If you said it, they'd be like, do that Mason guys a fucking dude. - And that's what makes it tricky and complicated for Garrett too, you know? - Well, that's what I mean, 'cause he sees his dad get away with things that normally, like, hey, dude, I normally, if I was a regular dad, I would not have said that in front of these guys. - Well, and the other thing that makes me nervous is that Garrett'll be like, that he'll go and do that with his friends. And he's like, oh, it's okay, I'm with the guys, right? When he's with his little friends, but then his little friends go back and tell their parents what Garrett Trevino said and I'm like, oh, I don't know if you guys are gonna be allowed to hang out anymore. - But I also tell people you have to mentally prepare your children as well. You have to teach them to be able to take it and give it. - Yeah, yeah. - And that lesson these days is not being taught, right? They're not teaching their kids like, hey, dude, you gotta talk shit too, bro. And they're gonna talk shit to you. And you better be able to verbally destroy them and pop, pop that out. - I don't think that's a lesson that's being taught in most families. - I should, Garrett, dude. You wanna talk about Garrett's defense? He's quick, he'll fuck you up, dude. And then I also, I love when I have Garrett and his little buddies in the back of my SUV and they're back there like just talking little kids shit. And they also do like your mama jokes. And it's so funny, dude, your mom, so I'm like, dude, I got some for you, right? I'm like, your mom's so fat she played pool with the planets and dude, you see all the kids? All the kids are like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I put that one in the memory bank for school. 'Cause we did that too. And did y'all do your mama jokes? Like when y'all were coming up? - They got mean, they got mean. - Oh, it gets mean. Yeah, it would, you know, your mom's so nasty that we had to cut the tampon string 'cause the crabs were bungee jumping. (laughing) (laughing) - Wait, yes you said that. (laughing) - Dude, we were ruthless, bro. You saved some shit. And then the best part is Garrett's like, like, your mom, dad, and I'm like, that's your grandma. You're talking about your grandma, dude. Like, I'm gonna tell grandma you said that. He's like, don't tell grandma I said that. Like, wait, well, that's my mom. So you're talking shit, right? But I also want Garrett to stay as sweet and as innocent as possible. And I am starting to notice at this age that there's a difference in his group, his friend group. There's some of the friends that are eight, like him, that are rougher, verbally. And they're talking about more mature things. - They're a little more advanced, yeah. - More advanced. And I'm trying to, I don't want Garrett to not be friends with those kids, but I'm also trying to encourage the other kids that I can tell are not quite there. - Yeah. - You know, they're not quite as advanced as some of his friends. - I feel like I-- - And that could be older brothers, you know. - Yes, older siblings for sure. - We were laughing because he was at golf camp and he goes, dad, one of the kids grabbed his coke. He popped the hole in the side and then opened it up and chugged it, dad. - I'm like, all right, I'm like, okay. And I'm like, okay. He either has an older brother or his dad's a still a maniac doing shotgun and beers. And I'm like, you're supposed to learn that in high school. At least that's when I learned it. But it was funny 'cause you see these kids that have older siblings, are their parents or something that they're a little more, or they get to see different movies or TV shows that we don't allow Garrett to see, different music, that we don't allow Garrett to listen to. So there is a little at this age, 'cause he's almost nine, there's that change in the friend groups. But I will say, and I don't mean to disrespect any of our friends, but a lot of the kids Garrett hangs out with are GT kids. And those tend to be the sweeter ones. And the ones that are still not quite in that little rougher space. - Yeah. - And they just tend to be, they're very similar kids. - Yeah. - You know what I'm talking about? - Oh, I see it with the girls. It's such a difference when a girl is sweet and naive and unaware of her body. And then you see the girls who are so aware of their appearance. You know? And I just like, oh, for girls especially, I feel like if you could-- - Even scarier the sexuality. - Yeah. - Right. A girl that doesn't know how to be sexy versus the girl that goes, oh, I know exactly what I'm doing. - Yeah. - Right, you know what I mean? Like, I've been to over like this on purpose, right? Renee would've been to over and I'm like, what are you doing? And she's like, oh yeah, I shouldn't have done that. And I'm like, Jesus, Renee, just give everybody a show. You know? But what hurts me when it comes to, I have now had the opportunity to watch several young girls in my life from my nieces to people that I love. - Yeah. - And make that transition from little girl to teenager. - Yeah. - And that's rough, dude. And our neighbor, who we absolutely adore, you want to talk about a, look at these bastards. How many are in my yard right now? Geez, Louise. - You have a nice little bucket there. - Look, there's five deer-- - Oh, they're at the gate open. - The gates open over there. - They're gonna eat the plants. - Mason, will you go run them off, please, sir? These damn deer in my backyard. God, that's a big one, too. I'm gonna kill him. - Yeah, I wanted to eat my plants. - But we have a neighbor who we absolutely adore and she's the sweetest little thing and she has become like family. She is that kid that walks in our door and she's comfortable here. You know, she'll walk into the pantry and grab snacks. I mean, she's like family. - Yeah. - And like, I'm already seeing that change in her from little goofy girl to tweenie, you know? And then when these girls get into high school, you're like, oh my God, like, I used to love all of you. - Yeah. - And now you just, you don't even talk to me. You sleep 'til noon, the amount of eye rolling coming from you kids. - Yeah. - You know, so that's scary, too. - Oh, I don't know, people see me with Delilah and they're like multiple people, multiple times have told me, I'll just wait 'til she's a teenager. Like, oh, Renee, you're in for it when Delilah's a teenager. - Our friends, our friends that joined us in Rockport, you know, they're very, very dear friends and they're probably some of the sweetest people that we know, I admire both of them and their kids are wonderful kids, but they're going through that with their daughter where she's making that change from little kid to teenager, you know? And they're like-- - I'm so nervous about navigating it with Delilah. I don't really love-- - Delilah's gonna wreck your life. She, that little girl, are ready to. Last night, she's sitting there and we got in late 'cause we were in Rockport and then we met some friends in our backyard and kind of had an evening together and so it's already kind of late and Delilah's sitting there and she's like, "Dang, can I have one of those cupcakes?" And I said, "Baby, it's already nine o'clock." I go, "You can't have a cupcake." ♪ Pretty please ♪ And I'm like, "This little shit." ♪ Daddy, please, Daddy ♪ So then I go, "Stop doing that." She started cracking up because she knew, she knew that she was freaking playing it, dude. She knew what the fuck she was doing, right? But we had a great time in Rockport. We fished and had some family time. We do Airbnb it. - Yeah. - So we definitely had to do some clean out and some kind of little upgrades and little ins and outs that we needed to do for, 'cause it does get a little cluttered over time 'cause, and that was, geez, Renee changes out furniture and I go, "Renee, let's give it to Goodwill. "Let's give it away or let's sell it." No, put it in the garage. I might use it. Boom, six months goes by. We go back to Rockport. - We don't go that much. This is the first time we-- Renee, that furniture had been in the garage for two years. - Oh goodness, I don't know. - Two years. Eric's laughing. So I, again, I'm afraid of Renee. I'm afraid of Renee, so I won't tell her. Like, I'll go, "Hey, what do you want to do this furniture?" Leave it, I want it. I'm gonna decide on where that. I'm like, "Okay, she'll fucking yell at me." So then yesterday, she's like, "I'm like, look." I go, "This has all been here. "That's spider webs on it. "That's how long it's been there. "That's spider webs on it." I go, "What are we doing this stuff?" Oh, you can throw it away. And I'm like, "Why do we have to get to here "to throw it away? "It's painful." - Well, no, because I was holding it in case we got another Airbnb. It was still good and usable, but I don't think that's gonna happen. So, time to go. - Even if we get another Airbnb, you're gonna want to do something different anyway. - Probably, right. - Exactly. So I'm sitting there two years ago. I said, "Let's just get rid of it. "Let's give it away. "Let's sell it. "Whatever. "Facebook market play. "Now! "Now! "Two years later. "Get rid of it. "Can you just put it by the dumpster?" I'm like, "Okay." I did put it by the dumpster and literally within minutes. - I was gonna say, I know someone will come get it, a neighbor somehow. - Oh, within minutes, somebody wrote, 'cause it was good furniture. I mean, within minutes, somebody rolled up and that made me happy 'cause I didn't want to throw it away. - Yeah. - You know, I didn't want it to go. - Into a landfill. - Yeah, I mean, it was good furniture. And well, it was, one of the pieces was really good. The other piece was nice. Two of the stools were really good. And then one of them was one of those little double in tables with two drawers that you had painted real nice. - Yeah. - So it wasn't like an awesome piece of furniture, but it was nice. - Right, it was refurbished. - Is Mason, you can come back in. You don't have to stay out there. I knew it was like, so steady. - Oh, okay. - Hey, Dan, dude, we are the most in "Unformal Freaking" podcast out there. - Thank you for making sure the deer didn't eat my plant. (laughing) - But I love rock port for several reasons. - Yeah. - I love to fish. And we did fish off the pier and we caught a really nice trout. - Yeah. - Which, as a dad, I remember going fishing with my dad. - Yeah. - I would catch one and my dad would be like, look, we catch one, we're letting it go. You catch another one, we can keep it 'cause it'll feed the whole family. But one, I ain't dealing with one fucking fish. - Yeah. - And I'd be like, so bummed out 'cause I had caught that fish. And then my dad's like, I ain't dealing with this fish. I'm fucking curved. And I'm like, but I wanna eat the fish I got. And my dad would be like, yeah, we'll get over it. You know, and he fucking throwing the water. - Yeah. - So when he caught that, I really sympathized with my dad. - 'Cause there's a lot of work to fillet of fish. - Well, it's a pain in the ass, right? And I'm like, I got a little bounce. - I have to fillet this fish. But Garrett wanted to eat it so bad. So I will share my fish secret with the world. When I was single, very poor, living in Corpus Christi, me and my roommate would go fishing all the time. And whatever fish we got, we kept it 'cause it was good food for us to eat. And if you wanted to eat it fast, he showed me a trick that is phenomenal. - Yeah. - So what you do is you take your fish fillet, you put it on a plate, you put salt and pepper on it, and then you take lemon juice and you squeeze the lemon juice on top of it, two minutes in the microwave, delicious, healthy, flaky fish. - But like lots of lemon juice. - Well, 'cause I think that what the lemon juice does, kind of like ceviche, it helps cook it, right? - The acid. - This beautiful white flaky, healthy fish. And I learned to do that. I did it for Garrett 'cause I was like, all right, I ain't gonna go get cornmeal. We're not doing the whole fly in the thing. I'm not gonna grill the whole thing together. I don't have, you know, butter, garlic, the whole egg. I'm gonna show you guys, and they loved it. They absolutely loved it. Trae freaked out. He was like, holy shit. You made this in two minutes in the microwave? I'm like, that's my trick? - Yeah. - It works, man. I mean, it is. - Oh my gosh, speaking of, didn't we come back with frozen fish? Should it get left in the car? - Sarah stole it. Stepmom, Sarah. - Oh, thank goodness. We came home last night, we were so tired. - No, stepmom, so I screwed up because I told Sarah, my stepmom, I said, 'cause they came to visit us before we left, they go, all this food you're taking home. Well, when she opened the freezer, she grabbed the fish and put it in the bag with all the other food. - She also took two bottles of champagne. - And I didn't have the heart to be like, oh, the fish is actually ours. - See, but how about evening had fresh fish in the glass of champagne? - Oh, macados, all kinds of shit. She had all kinds of stuff ready to go. But I didn't want to then go woo, woo, woo, that's-- - Not that. - Because my dad, he loves fresh, out of the bay, cooked fish. - Well, especially when someone already did the work and filleted for you. - Well, he loves that shit, right? But yeah, so she ended up stealing it. And I know Garrett's gonna ask, so I might have to go to H.E.B. and buy 10 fillets and be like, hey, there's a fish you got, yeah. Let's eat that, right? But I love Rockport and I love being there with a family. And I will say that it definitely slows us down as a family. - That's what I was gonna say. I just love-- - We have our Captain Evil golf cart. - It's a slower pace, yes. I have a Captain Evil golf cart in Rockport that I love. We take the golf cart to go get coffee or snow cones, and that's like a big activity. - I had, so you and Garrett yesterday went to Walmart? - Yeah. - Or like we like to call it Wally Martinez. - To get some supplies that we needed for the house. - And some supplies and I asked Delilah, I said, do you want to go with mom? You want to stay with me? She's gonna stay with you, daddy. - Well, this was after you and Garrett had spent the whole day fishing. - I was so emotional. She sat right next to me on the golf cart. And I had my arm around her and she would just look up at me like-- - Aw. - And I couldn't take it. Dude, I looked down at her and she'd be like, and I'm just like, I'm gonna, you're gonna fucking make me cry. - Yeah. - I wish your mom looked at me like that. (laughing) - It's a different relationship. - I mean, she was just like, my daddy, you know, and my song to her is "Cross My Heart" by George Strait. - Yeah. - You know, a lot of people think that that's a husband wife song. It's not. - It's a daddy daughter song. - It's 1,000% a daddy. - That's 1,000%. - Someone showed me that. - When someone tells you it's a daddy daughter song, you're like, oh my God, it's obviously a daddy daughter song. - It's a daddy daughter song. - Yeah, for sure. - You know, so we're cruising down to get the radio on the Captain Evil Golf cart and we're going down the road and she goes, daddy, can you play "Cross My Heart?" And she grabbed her chest and I'm like, yeah. - Oh no, so when he's when she'll ask you to play songs about her. 'Cause it's a lilus. - She wants a whole set. - She wants a whole set. - She wants a whole set about her. - Play a song about me. - Yeah, she's like, dad, can we play songs about me? And Garrett's like, ugh, in the back, he's like, are you serious right now? (groaning) And I'm like, shut up. We're playing songs about the line up. We're doing it. But I really got very emotional and again, gave me the opportunity to do that with her. Slowed things down, took the golf cart, sat with my daughter. We went to, I go, you want, yeah, I go, you want. 'Cause the duck blind down there has snow cones. I said, do you want a snow cone? Are you on ice cream? She said, dad, I want ice cream. I go, okay. So we go to the convenience store of Valero right there and then she says, I want dip in dots. I go, okay, so they had the dip in dots freezer. I go, which one do you want? It's rainbow, okay, that other rainbow. And then I go, daddy's gonna get his ice cream, right? I like those strawberry short cakes. You know what I'm talking about? I go, oh, I'm gonna get that. So she's on my shoulder. She goes, push-ups! There's a push-up! And I go, okay, well, let's put the dip in dots back. She's, no, both. I go, okay, fuck it, both. So I do, we had both. She was double fizzed in ice creams, dude. - I can't even have lunch yet. You can go to ice creams before the lunch. - Right, ice cream. Then we went to the, we went to the little park there and ice, you know, would swing her or whatever. And we played and she wanted to do the seesaw, which is very unbalanced for her. - Yeah. - Good thing you have those calf muscles, baby. - But it was just, it does definitely swell family time. - Yeah, and I think we need that, especially 'cause you're such a busy body. I think that's part of why you don't like it is you get anxious, like, you want more to do or you wanna go out, you don't just wanna like chill. And for someone who doesn't like the beach, it's a perfect scenario for you because we have a small little sliver of sand in our community and that's enough beach for our children and in the piers right there. - I'm fishing off the pier and they're on the beach. I'm like, perfect. We're still together and then Delilah comes over and oh, by the way, fucking Garrett. So when Garrett was her age, I would throw the cast net and I'd bring up all these mullet and shrimp and perch. - And he loves that. - Well, he loved it, but when he was her age, he would not touch a fish. And he'd be, he was scared to death and, oh, I don't wanna, and I'd be like, put it in your hand. Now dad, you know, freaking out. And Delilah, so then Garrett's now, now Garrett grabs the fish, no problem, right? So then he's grabbing all the fish and Delilah's like, "I wanna help." And Delilah's like touching it and poking it and putting her hand on it, but she's not picking it up. And then Garrett's like, "Oh, Delilah, you're being ridiculous." I'm like, "Listen, bitch, I knew you when you were three and you were way worse than Delilah is right now." So you need to chill out with your, with your, oh, Delilah, you know, pick it up pussy. You know, I'm like, dude, you were crying like a little bitch during COVID, you wouldn't even touch anything. But it was, it definitely helps with that. I'll also say that, you know, we have a very big home here. And over there, you don't. And there's, and it goes back to when I say that we're together in a hotel room, it starts to confine your space so that you're forced to be together. - Yeah. - Right? We're here at the house. - To interact with one another. - We're at the house. We literally don't have to see each other. - Yeah. - Garrett can be in the play room or his room, we can be in the living room or in our bedroom or over here. You, we don't see each other. - Yeah. - Right? Delilah's over there in her little art studio. You know, we don't see each other, but there you're also forced to, you know, there's one TV, there's not a game room TV. So we're on the living room. - Yeah. - Kitchen tables right there. - Yeah. - And it's not a tiny home, but it's much smaller. - Yeah. - So you spend more time together as a family. - Yeah. - And that's why hotels work for us because we're all together, you know, relaxing. - Yeah. - Watching TV together, cuddling, hang it out. So it definitely is huge for. - Good family time. - For our family time. - Yeah. - I enjoyed it. And you know, I love, I love the Captain Evil golf cart. Even though it says Captain Evil on it, I still rock it. I don't care. I cruise down the road, you know, recruiting, they go, oh, there's Steve Trevignon is freaking Captain Evil. I think it's like a Tiffany. - There she is, forcing him to go to the beach again. - Yeah, it's a Tiffany aqua. - Yeah, it's like a light blue, yeah. - It has like decals, Captain Evil decals. I mean, it's pretty, pretty awesome. But we enjoy that little house and we love going there. I didn't get in the swim pool, did you guys? - No, we didn't get in the swimming pool. The kids wanted to do the beach and the pier when they were-- - Yeah, they love going to the pier. - Yeah. - And it's cool because, and Eric understands that he's a fisherman, you have a lagoon and a pier that goes over the lagoon. And then you have the beach, and then you have a pier that goes into the bay. So it's such a perfect scenario, 'cause I can get all my bait right there in the little lagoon. And then, and by the way, we caught a 19 inch trout in that lagoon. And there's no current, there's no waves, there's no, and we just fish right there, and the beach is right there and we just hang. So it was, it was, it's a really great scenario. - Yes. - But I will tell people like if you want that beach house, go buy it, because we have been very successful with Airbnb in it, and somebody else paying our mortgage, not only that, at the end of the year, we end up with some profit. So we're actually making money as it grows in value. - Yeah. - So anytime you buy a home, you're gonna make money 'cause the home grows in value, but we're also making money by renting it and paying the, I don't think we've ever had to pay our mortgage since we started renting it. I mean, not only do we not pay our mortgage, we make money. So initially, you're only out the down payment. - Yeah. - So if you're willing to do a down payment on a home on the beach, then after that, you're not paying for it. Somebody else is. - Yeah. - And we were also lucky enough, and it happens a lot in beach towns. They will sell you the house fully furnished. So you can, 'cause they're, it's our second home, they're not taking the shit out of there. - You don't want the headache of paying? - I mean, we got every fork, every spoon, every dish, fully furnished, and then we went in, and as time has gone by, Renee has started to take things out. - Upgrade. - Things in, upgrade, make things nicer. But I really, I really highly recommend that if you're, if you're thinking about, and then by the way, when we want it, we block it off and we go. So we have a house that we can go to that's making us money, paying for itself. And I highly recommend it, and I was, I've spoken to relatives where they asked me like, "Hey, how's it going?" I'm like, "Guys, it is, it's a move, man." - Yeah. - And it is really worth doing. You know, yes, you have to put that big chunk down, but that's the same chunk you would have put in an IRA. So why not have something that you can actually go visit, hang out, enjoy, we always invite other couples with kids to come and hang out with us, 'cause it sleeps six. It's a three bedroom, two and a half bath. And the one next door's for sale, and Renee and I are seriously considering-- - I think it might have sold yesterday. - No. - I think so. I'm not sure, but I think so. - Who told you that? - The realtor. - Janice? - Janice said, they said, "Were we serious "because someone came and saw it "and is interested in putting in an offer?" So how serious is working? - Are they selling it with the furniture? - Yes. - We can put an offer. - I just got rid of all the furniture for another house. - Oh, bullshit. - If you don't even start your shit, you aren't gonna put that furniture in there anyway. I just cannot believe you. - I would've kept those bar stoles. - I just can't, and I will tell you this, so we bought this house in 2016, right, '16? - I don't remember. - '16 or '17. It is absolutely insane how much the values of the homes have gone up. - Well, we bought it at, I like what, a year or two after Harvey. It was like two years after Harvey. So, I mean, Harvey did a number on Rockport, and it definitely took it a while to-- - It has, let me think of this way. It has doubled. Doubled. And that is, I mean, crazy. Literally doubled. I mean, from '16 in eight years, that house has doubled in price. I mean, maybe more, because that little, the one next to us is smaller. - Yeah. - And it's a one story, and there, they got what-- - I don't know, but I'm not selling it, but they got Steve Drewino. - But they got double what we got. - Yeah. - Double what we paid for. Yeah, it's in Rockport. - Rockport Airbnb for this one? - No, no, ours? I'll send it to you, I'll send you a link. But it's crazy. Have you ever thought about doing the beach house thing or a lake house? - Yeah, we're kind of looking right now. - Oh, I shouldn't let, I wish-- - Well, you wanna come be our neighbors? - Rick, be our neighbor in Rockport. Let's go. - I think we're gonna look at like, yeah maybe, I mean, I've never been there, so I don't know. - Well, are you, you're not a beach guy, we talked about it. - Yeah, I'm a, I sit in the house, watch your TV guy. - Yeah, and you're not a fisherman. - No, my kid's taking do it though. - Yeah, but I mean, for you, I think I would do lake. I think a lake house for Rick. - Yeah. - Where you could sit on the patio and watch people do things. (laughing) - That's my speed right there. - I love the fish, I love it, I have, I have fishing poles for the Airbnb people. - Oh, but Airbnb people don't know what to do with the fishing poles, so they always end up-- - They fuck 'em up. - A mess, or things are tangled, or-- - But I have the good shit in my master closet that I lock. They don't, yeah, they don't have, for daddy. Yeah, when daddy shows up, I got my fishing shirts in there, I got my little fishing shoes, I'm good to go. But I mean, it truly, I don't know if I would have made it through COVID. I mean, I would have made it, but mentally. - I don't know if we would have made it through COVID. - We did most of COVID in Rockport. - Back and forth. We did most of it bouncing from one place to the next, so you still felt like you were traveling. - There was no back and forth. We would come, we would come back to New Braunfels, and then two days later, I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here, because Rockport was so much more chill. Like, well, you'd walk into HGB and nobody really cared if you were-- - COVID didn't exist in Rockport. - Yeah, they didn't care if you were wearing a mask or not. You know, I mean, everybody was being cautious, but not, and we got here, and it was like, holy crap, like, people are locked down. Like, holy shit, I'm uncomfortable being here. - Yeah. - And then Rockport was like, yeah, whatever. - Hey, yeah, I know we're bi-- - This is all, this is all the air kelvin. - The bars were still opening in Rockport. People were having drinks and partying. I was like, shit, I was thinking in Rockport. Fuck this. And then at one point, they literally tried to shut the boat ramps down, and I'm like, okay, that's ridiculous. - Yeah. - You know, I'm gonna go fishing, 'cause I had my boat at the time, and Garrett and I, every evening would take the boat out every single evening. Like, that was my activity. And then at one point, they tried, and I looked at them, and I'm like, yeah, arrest me. And I just got in the water and left, 'cause I'm like, fuck me. - No, but I think they were doing that 'cause lots of people were flooding in from other places to use the boat ramps, 'cause they were shutting them down where they were. - Oh, did COVID got so old. - And so they were like, we don't want outside, like-- - You look back at COVID, and it's like, you suckers that fell for it. I didn't fall for it. I was not, I was like, guys, this is ridiculous. This is way overboard. I mean, they were, they got to the point where you weren't allowed to go to Porto-Ranzas if your driver's license did not say that you were a resident. So they were basically telling you that you could not even go to your own home that you owned in Rockport are in Port A, because you're not a rock. This is ridiculous. You're closing boat ramps. I can't go fishing with my son in the middle of a bay. You guys are outside. It's like those fucks dicks, you see it right now. It's 2024. COVID, it has proven that those masks didn't work and don't do anything. And there they are at the freaking casino wearing a mask. You know, I'm gonna quote Jimmy Schubert here. I go, some of them have the mask under-- - What did Jimmy say? - Jimmy goes, some of these idiots have the mask under their nose. He goes, that's like, is that's like putting a condom on your balls? (laughing) - Get out, Jimmy Schubert. - Oh, Schubert, oh man. - But I mean, it got ridiculous, you know, and you look back at it, you go, my God. I mean, come on. - Yeah. - You know, I will say Rick was smart. I think Rick only got it one time and it was way after the whole COVID thing. - Yeah. - Right, Rick, you only got it once? - That's correct. - That's crazy, 'cause I think our family, we got it like five times. - Yeah, we all got it, like, we're all. You never got it? - You never got it? - You got a four times step. - You're like a unicorn. - You'll get it. Yeah, you're gonna get it. (laughing) - Well, you hang out with the travinos long enough, you'll catch it for sure. - I will say that it was nice when I got it, 'cause Renee quarantined me in the bedroom and then I'd be like, "Food, I need food." - I do miss that. - Yeah, she'd bring me a little plate and I would throw it back out there. Done with this, and then she'd come and-- - Now, when I had to quarantine in the guest bedroom and I was like, "I have the control of the remote, "I can binge-wot to whatever I want." - Nobody's going in there. - You never have to come out of this room, it's amazing. - I just thought you'd know it or not, but being sick and having a wife or something, oh, that's the best. - It's better, yeah. - Best caretaking, you could ever get it. - Well, you have a good wife. (laughing) - Steve out of the side of the side of my house. - Renee does not get paid. Fuck. - Oh, yeah. - Renee's like, "Call your mom." - No, you don't. - She's like, "You wanna be treated like that? "Call your mom." - You are the mean patient. I try and take care of you and I'm like, "Here babe, take some day quill." Or like, "Here babe, take some night quill "so you can sleep tonight." You're like, "I don't want that. "I don't need that. "You are like the mean patient." - I don't do that. - That's you. - Yes, no, you are literally projecting you. That's you. Dude, Renee doesn't want to take it. I'm like, "Renee, you know what would really help you right now?" There's a Tylenol Advil combo. Have you taken anything? - I had to take anything. - I'm like, "Well, this will help "because it's for pain and it's for inflammation." I don't want it. I'm like, "Okay, fucking suffer bitch. "Fucking." - Not here. - Dude, I'm all about it. I'm all about medicines. I'm like, "Hey, give me the day quill. "Give me the night quill. "Give me that soil." You're projecting you. You're projecting you. I'm gonna win this argument too. I need all the comments to let people know. - Just because you're louder and you say it five times, Steve, does that make it true? - I'm not louder. It's pouring outside and I love it. We gotta wrap this up. I had a lot more fun than I thought I was gonna have. We did not get Rick in trouble. Normally we-- - Well, how do we get Rick in trouble? - Well, normally we bring up a topic that Rick's like, fuck that. - Keep you blushes, it becomes uncomfortable. - I'm not picking a team. - I don't know, I thought maybe you were going to when you told him, when you were talking about COVID. - No, well, Rick took it very serious. - Yes. And that maybe that's why he only got it once but there's a difference, but there's a difference in taking it serious and the whole like, I mean, I have no problem with somebody that said, we don't wanna get it. - You know what? - And we're gonna stay home. - But I think-- - But you have your family, you should've had your family's choice. - Yeah. - They should've said, here are the facts. - Yeah. - Right, here are the facts. This is what we know so far. - Yeah. - And if you wanna go out and risk that, you can. If you wanna stay home, you can. - We probably would've handled it very differently had my dad been sick during COVID. You know, like I think about that. How would I have handled COVID if dad had been sick then and was immune compromised? - Sure. - Or even my grandpa, like I just think, I always think when I think about COVID, I'm like, I'm so glad he passed before COVID because I would've hated for the last couple of years for his life to be during COVID and then us be afraid to visit him or whatever. Like all of that just seems so sad and miserable. - I will say my favorite joke that I wrote through COVID, I will say it now and I've said it before, I think, is and I will leave it at that. My favorite joke was kids are not affected by COVID. Right? I go, so I would go to Walmart and HGB and I would let my kid, I would say, touch everything, right? No mask, touch everything. I go that way when we got home, I could be like, "Hey, go hug grandma." - You would say, "No, you left the best part out." You would tell it, you said, "I would tell my kids to lick the handles on the shopping cart." - Lick the handle on the shopping cart and then go hug grandma. And I stopped doing it 'cause it wasn't true and I love my mother-in-law and she's absolutely amazing and I do not wish death upon her. And that's one of the reasons I didn't do the joke because I absolutely love my mother-in-law and I was like, "Ah, it's a really funny joke, maybe for a Jimmy Schubert or somebody else." - Yeah. - But, and I don't know if Jimmy wrote this joke just to give Jimmy some more love. That's another one of my favorite jokes he does. He goes, "Yeah, I went in for a piss test and the doctor came up to me and said, "Oh my God, sir, you're tested positive for marijuana." And he goes, "Well, I can explain. I had a bagel and I had poppy seed in it." And he goes, "Well, sir, can you explain the LSD, the heroin and the cocaine?" He goes, "Well, sir, it was an everything bagel." (laughing) I got such a good joke. Jimmy tells it sometimes and it's so, so funny. But if you're listening to the podcast, we are in Pittsburgh right now. Get your tickets for tomorrow in Pittsburgh. After that, we are gonna go to Cabo for Boots on the Beach and then I am doing a private fundraiser for our amazing, talented Texas Rangers, not the baseball team, but the actual Texas Rangers. And then the week after that, where am I? - Where are you after that? - You start as Rangers, and then you go to Oklahoma. - Oxnard and San Jose, you're doing a stretch in California. - Oh good, love Oxnard, love San Jose. No, Oxnard's before Oklahoma. - No. - Oxnard's before Oklahoma, and then Santa. - Oh yeah, there's that one in Oklahoma. Yes, we're also doing a quick one in Oklahoma. But we love you guys, please see us live, please see us on tour. Remember that the best medicine is a humor laughter. I know we live in a crazy world right now. Please consider going to your local comedy club, going to that theater, buying that ticket for that comedian, hopefully me, and enjoying it. And I got some real exciting news for the team to do something really special. And we have the dates for Vegas, so make your plans December 13th and 14th at the MGM Grand in the David Copperfield Theater. If you're thinking about joining me in Renee, if you've ever wanted to hang out with us and party with us, Vegas is the place to do it, December 13th and 14th. - You'll find Steve at the craps table. - No, me and you hang out first, and then I go to the craps table. - That's right, we do, that's right. - First I spend all my money on you, and then I gotta go make it back at the craps table. - We got a system. - I did learn these boys some craps. And dude, it was so funny, it didn't take long, especially Eric, it didn't take him long. He had a thing with the dikes, he had his own little, his own little throwing routine before it was all said and done. And he'd be like, "Uh, six and eight." I mean, he was like, "You owe me money over there." I got that one, I mean, we were-- - Oh, we gotta thank our sponsors. - Yes, go ahead. - Aztec Chevy, Aztec Ford, Goliad. They're all over the place. If you need a car, please call those guys. - And old salt coffee, Trivigno 10, for your discount code. It really is delicious, which we get every morning-- - Contractor. - When we don't have it. - Yup, contractor Gabe hit me up and said, "Dude, you're right, this coffee is the best-- - It's legit, yeah. - Trivigno 10, pick cherries, and our favorite shirts to wear. Raul, Western. Go to my website, or my Instagram. The guys took amazing pictures of our red, white and blue. Raul's shirt. Not to mention, my friend, Uncle Cracker, is now supporting the Raul Western wear. - Yeah. - Thank you, Uncle Cracker, for wearing our shirts. We love you guys, what a fun episode. You know, it went by fast. - Yup. - And you look delicious, and you're gonna get it. Thank you, good night. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]