This week Jane and I start our book club discussion about Troy Love's workbook, "Finding Peace". I hope you'll join us in this learning!
Emotionally Unavailable
Episode 39: Betrayal (Anonymously Unavailable with Jane Doe - Finding Peace Book Club Week 1)
Yeah, your hyper independent ass can just sit down and let my fucker do some stuff like well, that's it Burn it all because I cannot deal with this. Why did we do this long? You know, I'm just a chaotic ass. I want you to not fucking touch the things I organize I Welcome to emotionally unavailable the podcast where we dive deep into the world of emotional Reliability and intimacy. I'm your host Melissa Hepner, and I can't tell you how excited I am to have you join me on this journey of self-discovery and connection whether you're navigating the complexities of relationships or exploring your own emotional landscape this podcast is here to inspire Empower and entertain so get cozy and let's explore the depths of human emotions together Hi guys this week on anonymously unavailable We we started on the first week of our finding piece book club and if you want to actually complete this with us, you'll just buy the finding piece book off of Amazon by Troy Love and We have only read up to like we read the first chapter and you'll just go through each of your wounds to understand those first and We discussed on the show today loss like last week. I really discussed Betrayal and so I kind of wanted to talk about the checkbox Because Troy has this each wound is listed and gives you a lot of different examples of things that happen in that Category that hurt you that hit that wound and on the betrayal wound These are the boxes that they provided a person in my life made but did not keep promises a person who my trusted Behaved in a way that lost my trust. I have repeatedly been lied to I have discovered that a person that I trusted was living a double life And wasn't being honest with me the company for which I was working made promises that were not kept Someone took credit for work that I had done Someone stole something that was important or valuable to me. My private information was shared with others without my consent My partner or spouse cheated on me. Someone failed to follow through with a commitment that affected me painfully. So Betrayal is really big for me along with abandonment rejection and loss so That is why if we create a plan together and then you completely disregard the plan I feel betrayed if you say you're gonna do something and you don't do it I feel betrayed and it just is a wound that has never closed because I've Surrounded myself with inconsistent people So it's a very big deal to me that you just say I'll try like I always told my kids like okay even even the school kids they'd be like can I eat lunch with you today and You just kind of never knew what was gonna happen in the next few hours So I'd always be like probably but I don't want to make a promise. I can't keep so like if I asked somebody to promise I'm being very childlike, but I mean it like I'm asking you to please promise And then there's you know the neglect wound the abuse wound Neglect was one that I had already discovered was pretty comprehensive for me as well You know, I really do encourage you to get this book and So what will happen is next week? We will discuss chapter two and I'm just hoping that if you have some meaningful feedback that maybe One-on-one or you know us with Jane or whatever you can Join in on one of the recordings But you know everybody's schedule is really crazy right now So I'm not going to stress out really bad about trying to coordinate a bunch of people so However, that works out will work out, but we are going to be discussing this book group on our Friday episodes for probably six weeks I don't know anyway, I cannot think of anything else and I am very excited for the episodes that will be coming out next week. I had wonderful Recordings I've got more wonderful recordings coming like oh my spirits are just really high with with those amazing conversations and Again, I'm just so grateful for all of the support and really grateful for where I'm at in life right now Yes, things happen and yes things can get overwhelming and blah blah, but I feel like at this stage I'm able to roll with the punches Logan Walker's funeral Saturday. My books were delivered to me today So that is exciting so for anyone who doesn't know when my friend Logan died I quickly wrote a book about The school kids returning to school to learn that like I don't work there anymore. He's passed away Several of their favorite teachers left, you know things like that And I wanted to help them cope with loss and the book is called the school is say goodbye and It is on Amazon Barnes and Noble pretty much anywhere you can buy a book online and I'm also going to start offering a customization offer like you have a child or a student or a class that you would like me to customize a book for like to you know deal with type 1 diabetes or an amputation or some sort of disability like whatever you want if you would like me to I would be happy to Write that and we could do a pre-order for class copies And then I could come and do a whole like lesson with the kids about that topic or any other topic I really do want to stay involved with kids as much as I can because I've learned so much from them and from my time with them and I want to really balance out kind of who my audience is and Getting to work with kids gets to feed my inner child too. So anyway guys, I don't really appreciate you I hope you have a wonderful weekend and enjoy this episode with Jane Day. Thank you Where are you? I'm in my living room. I I bought this bed and I bought these like Nightstands, but they're a little bit too tall. So I bought a bigger platform box springs And I thought I'm gonna work from home this morning because of this and I had a call So do you see that black thing on the floor? Yeah, I'm still putting it together turns out Took me a little longer. This is literally exactly what I he shall not be named told me it was gonna happen And I was like, no, I'm gonna get everything done. It's fine And he's like, why don't you just wait to the office wait, and I'm like, yeah, it doesn't run it done right now Because I don't like it when things are messed up. Yeah, I live like this No, and you'll be at work thinking about it right and I'm just like having so much anxiety about it So I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. This is the thing This is why I'm wanting to talk to Jenny Kimpton about expectations, which will happen on Friday I'm excited But like to be honest, it's been kind of a crazy week So I only when I couldn't sleep at 4 a.m Looked at the book again, but betrayal is more the wound that and neglect that This feeling hits for me. I I'm really tired of dealing with shit on my own and it isn't his fault that a lot of stuff pops up when he's at work, but it is his fault that I Can't calm down in that moment because I know nothing's gone change when he gets home from work You know what I mean? It doesn't actually make it different. Yeah, I thought about this the other day I had like a really weird triggering thing and it was like oh Uh, everybody was flustered. It was hot. Whatever. We waited a really long time to get food everybody was really hungry. I was really hungry and So I get my food And we left and we had taken it to go and it was cold or like we waited like 20 minutes and this is like cold and Like kind of said nothing and I was like seriously like feel this am I being crazy and he I Get everything he thinks, you know cuz he's the one that went and ordered the food So now he has taken this on, you know, and he's like basically feels like I'm attacking him He doesn't met your need right and so then he's like, well, just don't eat it then and I said, oh, okay And I literally was like it's so crazy if I hadn't been reading this book I wouldn't even I'm just be like you're a dick. I was like, okay That really hurts my feelings why does that hurt my feelings because That is like goes back to just like I can't care about you, you know, like, oh Childhood and so then I'm thinking like, okay, what would I want somebody to say? What would I say like oh man that sucks? Do you want to eat some of mine or? Oh, do you want to stop somewhere else like I know you were hungry too God, I felt so bad about that or you know what I mean like literally anything other than like I guess you don't eat it then Yeah, so why do you have something else to be a bitch about right like? Okay, so that I didn't say anything. Oh, he's trying to be nice and rough my hair like feeling Like what I'm just like but I think it really does go back to that and we've talked about this before Like we've never been able to feel safe like somebody it's their job to take care of us Right, and maybe I put too much into that because I'm you know doing that same thing where it's like sure I'm trying to get him to heal like, okay. Well, you're not gonna you're not gonna fix all that But but anytime like I get and most the time He is so sweet and he's such a caretaker that it catches me on guard When I get something like that and I'm why exactly why you get that they can't handle it and as a person who's discovering this in myself with Kids in particular like my when they have the most minor of complaint when I'm not in a good place It can go straight to that. I knew I was a fuck up like I can't even fucking get them food That's warm, you know, and it's not a conscious thought but I started to analyze why there were certain things I pushed away really mean Very quickly with Brian with the kids everything and I was like, you know because you know, it's kind of like I've talked about Josh You know, I'm becoming more compassionate as I realized that my royal was just being really mean to him Because I somehow some way felt responsible for him I feel like I failed him and I didn't fix him and I didn't I truly truly I think the thing that makes me emotional is I just had another realization about this Talking to you is I'm okay that I wasn't able to rescue him as a child But I think where I carry the most shame is that I haven't become wealthy enough to be able to just make sure he's taken care of and That his kids are taking care of and I wasn't able to do that for willy yet Either and his kids are all grown and having kids that I'm sure are having struggles, you know what I mean? And I do feel responsible for that because I am the survivor of this family and I think somewhere along the way I've promised myself when I get to this place, you know, it's not like I plan to hand them money all the time but if I can like Buy a trailer and land outright or whatever just somewhere that I know you're never gonna be homeless Like this is you know what I mean? And then Everything else is kind of whatever because they're all kind of used to live in poverty anyway, but at least like you're not homeless You're not living in a car wash Josh your family is safe your kids. I don't have to worry about the clothes They're showing up in on the first day of school I feel shame or that I haven't been able to rescue both of those boys and all of their children So I have with willies kids. I have always had a barrier between me and them I could not get close now some of that was because in my family when people had babies like the men in my family had babies The women always utilized those babies against the family There was always leverage there and I just was like, you know you can't get to me if I don't give a fuck about you or that baby and I did that and I Only feel this super familia you'll buy with a few of like my nieces and nephews because they've been able to penetrate I think Patrick because he's Jake's age and so I've spent the most time with him Kyla cuz she was the first but I mean as I've watched all of them struggle I I feel pain because not mad at my brothers. I'm mad at myself That I didn't save them. You know what I mean? But also like that's not your job. Oh, I know that as the person sitting right here. Yeah Present time, but that's the thing is that like I'm having to learn how to rapidly Have something hit me in my heart and go. Oh Present presence presence you know cuz if I'm not wandering to the memory It doesn't hurt like that. I can analyze it. I can be outside of myself But if I'm not present and I'm letting the trigger take me Whether I'm in the memory in my brain or just in my body. I'm not present So it is not this version who understands all of the logic in Russia I mean, yeah, I'm not fucking responsible for either one of those men or their children but the person who was raised with them was very explicitly told I was responsible for both of them so and then of course there's that weird karmic debt You feel like you're the oldest so you don't know about this, but you know Willie was the oldest and Fucking cared for us, you know like had to help with the can openers and shit when we're home alone all these Days, you know like abandon so I can remember being down to the last few items in the cabinet and him Learning how to use the can opener and burning the last burrito and you know what I mean like shit like that So you know it is when you're raised with fucked up dynamics You just take this weird responsibility and then especially as the survivor. That's what you're told Oh, but for the grace of God go I my grandmother used to say that a lot and I'm like, you know I don't think it was the grace of God that got me here versus them, but I if if that helps you sleep I guess cuz you know, you then don't have any accountability either That really is what that is and I know that same thing and you know taking charity upon people But but that's not what that means The same way right inside Like you know, this is your fault because you allowed like I'm 13 months older than him What did you like I do very good? Gosh exactly I used to do with that like I also was a child and I was the kid at the can opener And I did the best I could but like yeah, probably wasn't raising him Yeah, and I built a lot of dope for a lot of years And I let him manipulate me and I paid for a bunch of stuff and I helped him until I did it Actually, I think you are the one who recommended that book Oh, dependent no more and as I read through that I was like, oh my goodness like This is literally us. Oh, no, and so I started like okay I'm gonna set a boundary and I had to set a boundary with my dad like stop telling me about him Like this is the same thing to my dad and my dad just like well, you know boys will be boys Well, it's just kind of how it is like you can't count on him like okay, and he I'm sorry I don't know a lot about how your stepdad treated him But I know that your mother did not treat him the way she treated you so a hundred percent No, I mean like that he was like her. She will literally say that he's the favorite. She still says that Like a boy. It's crazy. It's the most fucked up issues. They can't get along with their daughters They just can't because there's too much competition there. Yeah, my grandma was the same way the boys and her family Oh, she just ate them up, you know, this was the part that I was like this might be a little much for me today Identifying a texture of the feeling and color and all how what do you what do you think about that if they had What would the temperature be? I haven't done any of that stuff yet. Okay, good. I don't feel as bad then well I did on one and then I haven't done Assessment stuff. Yeah, that's all in chapter one right. Yes, we can touch briefly I hope to touch base with people who want to have more like in-depth conversation about that but I will say this like my loss wound was really easy to identify Where I experience it in my body and what the feeling is and I just want to pause and say The reason exercises like this are so important. We just haven't had the time to do it is because This is the type of shit some people have to go to this extreme to be able to learn to identify their feelings You know how like we're getting much better and quicker at it and even tracing it back to the core wound We're getting faster at that But you have to remember that there are people who are starting at square one when they read this book And so for me, I was like I don't feel like I have to do all of this at once to get what I need from this Particular exercise because I had already I had and I and I when I started to list some of the losses that I don't let myself think about I was like, okay this I'm gonna put on the table because I'm going to come back and I am gonna Write them all out. I feel like that's I wrote down like six and I was like, hey, yeah I don't really want to skip any of that in my heart, you know And I said for me the loss wound really hits me in my stomach and it's like a almost a nauseous feeling You know when your stomach drops and it becomes empty very quickly. It's like that for me I could not really give it a color except for that. It's a light color. It doesn't it doesn't Showed to me like if I were to like really think about it because it's such a it's a tender wound It causes me to really like Wilt, you know the loss Stuff, I guess probably that's my ultimate fears loss, you know, so like I Don't want to lose shit that I should want to lose And I was like I mentioned already. I was a little surprised Rejection, I I was surprised at a couple of the things that were put in that and I was like Oh, that it makes perfect sense, but I haven't thought of it that way like I was just talking to one of Gwen's partners last night Randy and I came right out and talked about an Ant of mine on my dad's side. Oh comments on your appearance and it makes sense that that would be Rejection, but that's I wasn't able to identify that until I saw it on a box. You know what I mean and Oh the not making the cheerleading squad in 8th grade, you know Like that was a really big deal and it kind of even well it was at the end of 8th grade It was gonna be for 9th grade, but it kind of even Changed some friendships because some of the people I was friends what did make it, you know Not to mention you had to try out like the whole school was able to watch that. Yeah I screamed, you know what I mean and and then one time while the day my dad died I didn't make varsity on soccer, you know, like I know I don't I just think I haven't given enough credence to those things because We're taught that none of that shit matters, you know Yeah, yeah, and uh, were you ever told directly get out of my sight? Oh all the time. Yeah, that's on the rejection thing But yeah, I was like oh damn that was like a common phrase like that was a phrase get out. Yes with the most anger, you know Okay, and then betray that's that's the one that really hit me today because That last one someone failed to follow through with a commitment that affected me painfully Well, any lack of follow through on a commitment is going to be painful for me because chances are it took a lot for me to ask You know what I mean, and I don't like to ask for help. I really don't I'm still struggling with it I'm doing it, but I'm still struggling and I thought it was interesting the betrayal for me After we kind of talked last time and you were talking about like loss doesn't have to be somebody you love died It can be you know that not having that presence whatever and I started really thinking about that I think one of the things that is like just the saddest for me and that I just struggle with the most is by the Like morning the loss like I don't ever get to have a family. I don't ever get that. I don't ever get to have a Husband and that I'm raising children with they don't get to have like I don't get to have those things I'm never going to have traditions a family tradition, and I didn't get to give them to the boys Right that sucks, right a lot of grief. Yeah, and I still struggle with that and I am so triggered by that So it's even more like the betrayal part. I think I'm kind of over like whatever It's fine. I all of these things I can control my surroundings now, and I'm not worried about that anymore But I do still like very much mourn the loss Like it just makes me actually mourned. That's what I'm saying Yeah, it's it because it those are the things that hurt us so much that it's been very hard for us to look at it That's why I said I want to write it all out. I wanted to get it. I agree I think that a hundred percent just want to like go through and just kind of feel all that stuff It's so sad though. It is sad, but see I promise it doesn't feel as heavy for as long If you just look at it and you go, okay, and do the exercise How does it feel where am I feeling this in my body when I feel sad? You know give it a texture give it all the things and then once you acknowledge you're gonna there's a convergence of that past you and this current you that says, okay, I can release this for now and and there will be a shift But we're always gonna have to come back to those moments and re-release I mean that this is a lifelong thing when when we're in our 40s and we're just now addressing it That means we've incurred even more loss that we've never even allowed ourselves to deal with loss Can take up a big space in your heart and especially if that's the hardest thing for you to look at with yourself That means that is a very core fear for you. You are still very afraid of losing and The more afraid we are the less we're gonna look at it, you know, but I do think that it's time for us to Sit with that But I think if you let yourself feel the sad You'll just cry and then you'll just move on honestly I mean I think we spend a lot of time trying to block ourselves from feeling sad because what good does it do and blah blah blah? Well, what good it does is you get it out and you get to say it and you get to feel it and then you get to let It go, but you can't let go of something that you never even addressed you're gonna find ways to like hang on to your DNA, you know, I Think a betrayal was a big one for me because I'm married to somebody who's very inconsistent and it hits that wound a lot You know, and I have a lot of emotionally unavailable people in my life. So I Always picked the least dependable one to ask for help so that they can confirm that I don't have anyone that will help me I don't I don't think I've ever done any of that consciously I picked the person I'm the least scared to ask or you know, maybe I convinced myself that they're less busy than these people or they won't be mad If I ask or whatever and then, you know, they fuck up. I mean, but like it's like I knew they would like this time When we went on a trip, you know, the trip But I was particularly worried about the dogs because of Kindle being just in kind of fragile condition when we left And it was really hard for me because I didn't want to leave him But he doesn't tolerate car rides so I knew 12 hours in the car like that was not gonna be good, you know, so I Asked my friend Shaq because she loves animals and because you give her a task and she gone She's a fucking Sagittarius like you, you know, she gonna do it. So and she's a sad rising So it was hard for me because she is very clean like you are too and My house is never the way I want it to be and you know how I am about people being in my house Thank God for the shadows of shame work that I've been doing because I just said hey your politician is the only reason you care So if if she cares about your house She she cares way too much about other people's lives because that doesn't do one to her, you know what? I mean so whatever she thinks about your house really doesn't fucking matter and Listen to be clear. She's the nicest person on earth She's never gonna say a fucking word to me about my house But that was never the part that mattered. It was the paranoia. I created within my own brain. I Don't even like people to be on my front porch I mean, I'm just fucking weird But like, you know, I am I'm able to work through it better Especially because I asked her not but I I knew I had to ask the most reliable person in my life because I needed to know that my dogs were okay And I even said like yeah, just a morning and evening thing and her house was every here three to four times a day just like I fucking knew she would be you know what I mean like it was like thank you because This is the first time in my life Because I paid a friend a hundred dollars to do it like a couple of years ago and they did they did they behaved the way my brother Behaved. Oh, yeah, I didn't even come over one day like in the morning time at all My dogs had pissed everywhere shit everywhere whatever and then tried to lie to me about it And I'm like I have a fucking ring There so, you know, I'm really used to being let down I don't think that any of my expectations in terms of action from people are super unreasonable because I Don't expect that much because I really expect you to let me down a lot so you know and I do think there's that unconscious bias of if I have spent so much time in my life alone and Feeling like I have to deal with everything alone. That's just the lens I'm looking at everything through so it doesn't even have to be true But it can confirm that feeling really easily because that's the lens. I'm looking through you know, and I don't think there's anything wrong with Letting people in my life know that I just think I just have to be aware that sometimes I'm wearing the wrong glasses You know, and I got to change classes and make sure I'm looking at this from this current point of view And I'm not holding stuff against this person that other people have done My problem is once you fuck me over a couple times. I'm never gonna trust you again So I don't even know what that's why I'm like Jenny come help me I don't know what I'm supposed to expect from people. I don't know how to respond when they don't meet my expectation That's the other thing. I'm kind of working on, you know, because it's difficult to meet my expectations I Get overwhelmed and then like this morning I have a little bit of a meltdown And I'm like I've got to redo everything like I got a square everything away It's probably not fair to spring that on somebody at 6 30 a.m. And expect them to do the course of their life You know what I mean in real life That's like not you know I'm in the middle of something and what do I want is one thing but also like what does that another person have the capacity to do And what's reasonable, you know like okay, you know all of those things So like I try to when I'm in the middle of stuff like okay like oh cuz then it makes him feel bad too He's like I wish I were you know wish I could help. I wish I could do these things whatever Okay, like I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm trying to make me feel good. So yeah, I'm just letting you know Where I'm at. I can only care about that right now. That's all I have capacity to Yeah, see that's when I'd be like calling a handyman and being like can you just come back and put this shit together, please? I cannot do this Often times I used to start projects like that, but I just learned that I fuck it all up with my impatience So I'm learning to self-suit through the chaos cuz I can't I would have fucked that up so bad. I Like doing things myself. I am Kind of a weird perfectionist and I don't think people do things as well as I would like for them to So Things I don't give a shit about you know what I'm like sure there's some things You know like I like Things to be cleaned a certain way. I'll get real regimented with things So if I have a regiment for something I would like you to follow it But in terms of putting things together, you know, I just don't have any patience for shit like that So I just assume Brian will do a better job He's proven to me over and over that he can do something in a quarter of the time than I can Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, so like I like, you know the time Without you know telling him I was gonna start a painting project and then I get in the middle of it And I'm overwhelmed and then he comes home and I'm like Can you just fix it? And he's like yes, and then in 30 minutes It's done whereas I've been crying about this shit for hours, you know So I just don't even play about it anymore I'm like, yeah, you're hyper independent ask and just sit down and let my fucker do some stuff because like yeah I might start the project at the time. I was wanting to start it Any faster just cuz I started it then because I'm gonna get overwhelmed in the middle of the project It's like cleaning out your cloth it every time I get all the shit out. I'm like, well, that's it Burn it all because I cannot deal with this. Why did we do this long, you know, like I cannot I get real overwhelmed real easily and middle of any project whether it's a writing assignment or whatever is Probably like the crescendo for me But then like the last fourth of everything I do is like I think I gotta just quit for now Everything You know, I'm just a chaotic ass and his brain He can zone out and fucking focus on the task and so I'll just be like hey And it makes him happy because those are the things he excels at, you know, so I'm like I have a project that You can do and it will make me very happy. He's like, oh my god a direct need that I can mean. Yes I'm surprised that John does not more That's probably because well, he was a little more coddled by his mother than Brian was nothing Literally, he wants to do none of that. He's happy to pay for it and he will help But I also know that we both are like alpha and we don't do well together and that sort of stuff And I'm very we don't either. Yeah Give him the control cuz he's like I'm either in charge or I'm not so if I'm in charge I'm in charge. I'm gonna do it if you're in charge That's fine, but then I'm gonna be asking you how you want it done the whole time And I'm like Without or both in charge is like I'm getting better at relinquishing that type of control because like I said I realized those aren't my strengths anyway I want to fucking be those he's like actually you're better at this than me anyway. You just do it and like Whatever. Yeah, well, you have to remember too that you've spent a lot of time being all the roles for Everyone in your family, especially your children. So I could I did at one time in my life I was the one who fixed all the plumbing and everything, but now I'm like now I'm allowed to all in front I'm tired And like I said, I can't really overwhelmed like really overwhelmed and paralyzed Mm-hmm. I like having tangible things to finish. Mm-hmm Yeah, I do too, but it's more of like a to-do list or and plus I don't even know how to have this conversation right now honestly just because I am such a fucking different person and we Haven't come up against this type of thing and for Loading the car for vacation. That's kind of the only example I could even think of now because we just haven't had any projects like that lately, but where my capacity ends Has really helped so it's like just because I can do that doesn't mean I should Because if I do these are gonna be the consequences Now there are some things like cleaning my bedroom really well that I'll get in and you can't like do it right You know like I'm doing this thing and organizing something I like things to be organized a certain way. So I Understand that you feel like you're making my organization even better. I don't agree I want you to not fucking touch the things I organized so this doesn't mean shit to you means a lot to me Why are we arguing? You know what I mean like why'd you even touch my shit, bro? That's a that's a fight. We have a lot not really anymore because I haven't fucking organized in so long because Every drawer every cabinet everything I touch is like that - huh? You had to fuck that up - all right But I do think that you are hyper independent and I think that sometimes Yes, you are fiery and it starts and you're not gonna stop until it's finished. Yes, there's that But I also think Sometimes I guess I'm probably saying this because I know that I have caught myself doing this I do think sometimes you initiate something at a time that you know he can't help to confirm that you are always going to have to do Everything by yourself whether you're aware of that or not. I think that there's some of that there I have caught myself doing that before and I'm like, yeah, that probably isn't a fair thing to be pissed about I didn't really give him an opportunity right right But you know fair smears sometimes I want to be mad and I'm letting myself sometimes, you know Maybe that's my rebel telling me I deserve to be mad, but you know my rebel helps me a lot So sometimes I have to just listen to her and be like, yeah, you're right. I can shit. He is a bastard It's interesting. I Just like you were saying, you know I could hear like my different like voices and I'm like, yes I I would have reacted differently to that if I hadn't read just even that first chapter. Yeah Yeah, I fight with the little the tone for the summer. Oh Boys are the worst. They really are all right. Well, I'll keep you updated on everything that is my life right now All right, friend. Talk to you soon. I love you. Oh, I love you. Oh my god. Bye Hey, hey, hey, what do you say? Listen first and foremost, please make sure that you have provided this podcast with a five star rating on Whichever platform that you are listening if you want to support the show, please rate like and share Also, like comment and share on any social media posts that you see for me on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok Please follow the podcast Facebook Emotionally unavailable podcast you can shop my foot online store or schedule a one-on-one with me Emotionally unavailable podcast org. I'm offering what I'm calling non-traditional counseling astrology readings and tarot readings and Self-policing services and thank you so much for listening to the emotionally unavailable podcast Okay, I hope that you liked our first week of our finding peace book club again That is the finding peace book to work book on Amazon by Troy love. He is a social worker a licensed one and I Really hope that you guys will follow along I think this is gonna be some life-changing information and I also can't wait for you to hear next week's episode with Casey Taylor about their program called Silencing your inner shit talker So really gonna kind of go along with the stuff that we talked about today sort of anyways, okay Like I said have a wonderful weekend. I appreciate you so much and until next time. That's all just keeps winning I a i-n-d-e-p-e-n-cut