Get ready for an eye-opening episode as Agnieszka sits down with a CurlyGal Investor, who is a passionate day trader and experienced Social Worker. She has captivated an impressive number of Twitter followers as she's sharing the unfiltered truth about trading, documenting her real story from day one - the highs and lows.
Join us as we dive into the real world of trading, without sugar-coated illusions painted by social media. Listen and learn how to embrace failure as feedback, achieve long-term success and why a mentor & supportive trading community plays a vital role in every trader's journey.
About CurlyGal Investor
Curlygal Investor is an options & futures trader, mother of a daughter and Social Worker with a passion for the process. She brings 15 years experience as a Master's Degree Clinical Social Worker & Therapist in the Mental Health field. She's fascinated with the role that the psychology of trading plays in successful trading. She built a strong foundation on principles learned working 1 on 1 with a veteran trading mentor, and it's a big advocate of using this approach as a way to get ahead of the curve. She considers herself a constant student of the market and today she wants to dive into shedding light on the realities of trading that aren't spoken much about.
Contact Agnieszka Wood | Ahead Coach:
- Website: aheadcoach.com
- Twitter: @Ahead_Coach
- YouTube: @aheadcoach
- Facebook: Agnieszka Wood
- Instagram: ahead.coach
- LinkedIn: Agnieszka Wood
Contact CurlyGal Investor:
--
Transcript
[00:00:04.210] - Agnieszka
I am Agnieszka Wood. Welcome to the Confidence in Trading Podcast. Let me introduce my special guest that goes by her official Twitter name, CurlyGal Investor (@curlygalinvest). She considers herself a continuous student of trading the market. And today we want to dive into shedding some light into the realities of trading that aren't traditionally spoken about enough. Welcome to episode number nine, Reality versus Illusions in Trading. Hi, welcome to my show. I'm absolutely thrilled to have you here, especially knowing that how much you value your privacy. So thank you so much for coming onto my show.
[00:00:46.500] - CurlyGal
Thank you so much for having me, Agnieszka. It's a pleasure to be here with you today.
[00:00:52.310] - Agnieszka
And when we met on Twitter, what really struck me right away was the authenticity of your post. No BS, no puffed up reality stuff like, hey, look at me, how good I am. Which in general, it is the tendency of social media. But in trading, that approach can be taken to the extreme. Right. And today I would love to talk with you about exactly that. With all the advertising hype around. When you got into trading, did you know how emotional this journey is going to be?
[00:01:31.170] - CurlyGal
Oh, my goodness. Really? When I started my Twitter account, that was January of 2021, the purpose was I had a very specific intention set out there. I wanted to record my trace. So kind of like utilizing it as a journal. Not my trace, but my process. I wanted to kind of like record my process and be encouraging of others of bringing light to what the opportunities in the market were available and that this was also available for everybody. Right. Because like I mentioned to you before, it was very shocking to me that here I was, in my mid thirty s, and I had never ever come across with anything stock market related. Nobody had educated me about this. I went to school, to college, grad student. This has never been a theme amongst my peers or professionals. This is the thing that you can do. Right? So I wanted to be able to kind of open up space for others to know that this is the thing. This is something, whether it's investing or the various forms that one can participate in the stock market, that this is something that anyone can do. And whether about how emotional this journey can or cannot be, no, I definitely not expect that this could be.
[00:03:22.610] - CurlyGal
It really depends. It depends, right. When you start growing your discipline. This can become less emotional. Right. Because as you start building yourself as a trader, you start building more self control. And the more self control you have, I think that the less emotional of a ride.
[00:03:45.850] - Agnieszka
Right.
[00:03:46.540] - CurlyGal
But when you don't have those things, it can definitely be a roller coaster. And definitely I've been there, done that. I've been in both sides of that coin. I did not expect that it will be like that. I thought it will be way, especially trading. I thought that it would be easier. But it's a very interesting path.
[00:04:08.760] - Agnieszka
It's definitely interesting and very challenging. And what is really pretty amazing that you were documenting your intention was to document the process, which in general, not many traders really focus on. Everyone focuses on the money. How am I going to get the right ticker to make the money, but not on the process? So how did you know to do that? Where did you figure out, you know what, actually, I think the process is the most important part in that. Did you even think about it or did it just come up intuitively to you?
[00:04:46.890] - CurlyGal
I think that because of the previous experience when I first started in 2020 with the investing portion of everything, again, it was just so nice to be able to see a portfolio grow and doing certain things with it. And figuring it out. Okay, when am I taking profit the length of what I want this portfolio to be and not just allowing for the portfolio to grow and then not take any? Right. That was very interesting because we took profit off of that initial investing. It was a short term, medium term portfolio, and I knew to take profit. Yet when I transitioned into trading, I started having difficulties with taking profit versus hey, especially with options. Options can turn on you so quickly, right? And so it was a learning curve, moving into options. But part of what was extremely helpful was that later on, 2021, I started working with a mentor. So I connected with a person who had been in the market for 20 years, who's been doing this for a very long time, successfully. And I started learning other things that were extremely necessary for me to be able to even have a chance at trading options.
[00:06:32.570] - CurlyGal
I think that it was like partially intuitively thinking of the process. Again with me being a social worker, I think the process is something that I naturally work on all the time anyway, right? It's just part of my day to day, whether it's with clients or even in my personal life. I'm a process person. I like the journey, right? I'm not just there for the end goal. I love and enjoy the journey. So I do that on a day to day basis. So I think it intuitively transferred into what I was doing with trading, and then I added more along the way with my mentor and stuff like that, and my own experience too, because as I walked every day in trading, I was learning. I mean, I was learning things, I was doing good things, and then I was doing bad things. I was making mistakes, and I was learning from them.
[00:07:32.930] - Agnieszka
Yeah. I saw recently a note from you on Twitter from your journal, and it said, these are the things I did good, and these are the things that I did bad or I did wrong. I don't know exactly how you said it, but it was definitely what can you improve? Like evaluating those things is so important.
[00:07:54.230] - CurlyGal
Absolutely.
[00:07:55.210] - Agnieszka
I think it is fantastic that you already have that love for processes in your daily life. Because you know what they say, you trade how you live, so you could just automatically transfer that. Did you actually use technical analysis for your trading?
[00:08:12.350] - CurlyGal
Well, when I first started, I did not know much about technical analysis. So I think that when I very first like if I'm just recalling my very beginnings on my own, I will say that I will describe myself more as a momentum trader. At that time, no, I did not have knowledge of technical analysis. That did not come until after I started working with a mentor. So that's when now it's been three years since I've been in the market and two with working with mentorship. And now I can say I'm able to read a chart, I'm able to pattern recognition, I'm able to draw in a chart, I'm able to identify all these different things that are extremely helpful. It's like sometimes you look back and it's like how was I even traded?
[00:09:18.220] - Agnieszka
I just wanted to say because that's what I was wondering, how did you even knew where to get in and where to get out? Because we were talking about getting out, just thinking, okay, it went up, so now I'm getting out, basically.
[00:09:33.670] - CurlyGal
Well, it was more of whenever I saw strength, it was like I saw strength and direction. If there was a directional move and I saw strength, I will go in and out and quickly be able to collect profit. It was more like a momentum got you. I guess that's what I will say, momentum type of trading. But that was very early in my process and yes. So now I definitely think that technical analysis is an important aspect because I've come across with a lot of people who say how do you know? So this is Trigger, I come in, how do you know, where are you going to get out? So that's a great question. Right. It comes down to knowing, right? Knowing where are your trend lines, knowing where your support and resistance is, knowing what different patterns, the meaning of the event patterns. Right. If you see a double top or double bottom, what does that mean or what can potentially that be or take you to. Right, so that's definitely important aspect and all of that I started learning with mentorship.
[00:10:47.970] - Agnieszka
I think that also helps you to kind of prepare yourself what you can expect and then that helps you with emotions, right. If you know, okay, I can expect if I'm in a trade for let's say longer time, but there is a resistance in between. I know I can expect some kind of pullback. I don't have to panic when I see a red candle.
[00:11:10.000] - CurlyGal
Correct.
[00:11:11.910] - Agnieszka
So that really helps you with management of your emotions in that case, right?
[00:11:17.850] - CurlyGal
Absolutely, yes.
[00:11:19.070] - Agnieszka
At what point was there any point like that when you were working and maybe you were learning the technical analysis, which for many people is they get paralysis by analysis because you get all these candles and patterns and indicators and they throw all these things on the chart. Now they don't see the candles because there's so many lines. And at what point did you realize, okay, this is not going to be so easy as I saw in media or on Twitter. Like everyone says, oh yeah, I made million in three months and everyone makes millions. And you sit there and it's like, well, I don't know what they are doing. But people usually think there must be something wrong with me because everyone is making millions but me. What's wrong?
[00:12:11.290] - CurlyGal
How will I put it? I've never saw it that way. I've never went on Twitter seeing oh, I did think that there was a potential for me to make considerable good amount of money or even hopefully replace the money that I make through my day job. But I think that my approach was always very realistic as to not really focusing on myself and my process, not going on Twitter to compare myself with whatever is going on out there. So I was just very grounded with just focusing on myself and through my own experience, realizing that it takes much more than just learning how to read a chart. And that's where the other components, the mindset, the discipline, the risk management I had zero idea what risk management was. How to based on knowing what's your risk tolerance, based on your account size. Right. Because we can both be taking the same tray, but you might have more wiggle room than I, or you might tolerate a larger pool than I because your account sizes are different. There are just so many intricacies and all of those things really came to life for me and put together through mentorship I had no idea of.
[00:14:06.020] - CurlyGal
Sometimes one keeps repeating the same thing where I'm like, okay, I'm taking this ray and then I go up and I go down, I go up and then I'm like in the same place? What am I doing? But it was not until I had an outsider looking at what I was doing and being able to say, hey, point out this is what's going on. And for me to be able to then understand it in a way that I can then change my practice. Right, right.
[00:14:39.430] - Agnieszka
Yeah. And I think that is so good that you made that step to actually get someone from outside because it's very hard when you are in the middle of something to see what is going on. Right. Because imagine you're like in the washing machine and you're just being tumbled. You cannot really see the colors that are in the washing machine because you're just like in between, right? It's much easier to see something when you are further away. Even reading newspaper, like they say, the least light is just right under the street light, right? What I also find very beautiful about your journey is that you had this sense of self reflection and you were able to ground yourself as a trader while you were having your work next to it. Because a lot of traders, when you talk to them, they want to replace their job, right? They hate their job and they had the boss and they want to be free. But you said it was a possibility maybe somewhere in the future, which automatically takes the pressure away.
[00:15:48.430] - CurlyGal
Right? And that's very interesting because actually, I know I've had my times right, because I'm a human like anybody else and I'm a social worker by profession. I am fortunate to say that I love my profession. I like what I do. So I'm not in a job that I dislike. Have I had times through my journey where perhaps it was time for me to move into a different position? Or maybe I've experienced burnout like a lot of people in my profession, or even in trading rate. But while I was excited about the possibility of can I make this at some point down the line into a full time thing? I feel very blessed about my job and my profession. And this is something that I can continue to do. Whether it's now or even if I ever leave it, I can always come back to it. It's not something that I dislike. It's something that brings a lot of joy and gratification to me. So that's one and two. And then I want to say for a lot of people who might be contemplating the same thing, I do feel gratitude for my job because having it allows me to trade.
[00:17:19.290] - CurlyGal
I wouldn't be able to have gone through the journey that I've gone through for the last three years in learning to trade or invest, being involved so actively in the stock market. I've been involved in the stock market daily. That's intense.
[00:17:37.730] - Agnieszka
It is.
[00:17:38.820] - CurlyGal
You really think about it. That's intense. On top of having a full time job, having your life, being a mom, whatever else. And financially, from a financial perspective, I don't think that I will have been able to do this as dedicated and intensively as I being without having my job as a backup. Because if I will have had to worry about, oh, I don't have a job and this is all the money that I have, and my financial growth depends on solely trading, I'm going to tell you right now, I will have been extremely stressed out.
[00:18:21.670] - Agnieszka
That is the component. It's not just like making enough money to live off that helps you to trade for a living. There's this whole component. Can you release the stress of not having a secure income. Because if you have a job right now and you trade and you already feel the pressure, even though you have income coming in, but you have pressure like, I have to make it work, that means that you are not ready to step over because you can't even deal with the pressure when you do have the income.
[00:18:59.090] - CurlyGal
Correct? I absolutely agree with you.
[00:19:01.120] - Agnieszka
Imagine if you don't have that income, it's going to be double, right? So that building that immunity first and.
[00:19:10.470] - CurlyGal
Understanding that I'm in this learning process, especially at the very beginning, that there are things that I need to be able to get to. I say like levels, right? It's like, okay, I accomplished this thing, now I'll go to the next level and next level and slowly. And I remember there being initially when I was flying solo, so to speak, I took on a lot of risk. I was very risky, and I was not afraid of being risky. And I could make a lot of money doing that, but then I could lose a lot of money doing that also. And that affects it does impact your mental health because it literally felt like a roller coaster. Like I was having these ups and downs and just being emotionally attached to trading and my trades and the money, it almost becomes some sort of identity. And I think that's something important to point into as well, that we are not much more than just a trader, right? And that my success in life is not solely measured by my performance money or how much money do I make or not, right? And being kind to myself, being able to say I am in this process, and if I did not had a good day and if this is affecting me emotionally, right?
[00:21:05.540] - CurlyGal
How can I make this not affect me this much? The only answer to that is by managing my risk better. Okay, so how do I become a better risk manager? How do I become a better money manager? Right? And this is actually a conversation that came up with my mentor recently because I've had times where I am extremely disciplined and it takes a lot of patience because I want to be a participant in the market all the time. But that's not how trading works. The market is not going to give me the same thing every single day. So it becomes my job to be patient, to wait for the times that I write for me. And when I say for me, I mean not just like a technical setup, but also for me in terms of my risk tolerance, in terms of a particular ticker. Sometimes we're trading, there's different tickers and there's some that work best with my personality and others that don't really work with my personality. So I decide, okay, I'm going to leave this aside, right? So working with what my personality is if I need slower trades or where am I better?
[00:22:34.280] - CurlyGal
Am I better on a range day or am I better on a directional day. It's okay to wait for the times that work best for you. And that is something that I think that, especially for beginners, is very important to understand. This becomes a journey of self discovery.
[00:22:57.440] - Agnieszka
I call it, right?
[00:22:58.910] - CurlyGal
Yes. It's like learning about yourself and how you translate that into trading. Because I will tell you right now, a lot of what we do or don't do outside of trading, we carry it on into trading totally.
[00:23:15.590] - Agnieszka
But we are much better at specifying in our life what we like and what we don't like and what suits us. But in trading, we kind of try to especially at the beginning, you try to grab everything because you think, I just need to do that. Isn't that what am I supposed to do? Like, I'm a trader, I need to trade, so let me just place trades. That's what I'm supposed to do here. But that having that compassion and that understanding of yourself and really observing yourself, no, I can wait. This doesn't suit me. It's just like you will also not date everyone. You will pick someone who really fits your character and who you feel good with, right?
[00:23:57.820] - CurlyGal
Yeah.
[00:23:58.300] - Agnieszka
So that's the same in trading. You have to pick something that really suits you. And if you don't know what it is at the beginning, just try it out. But not with 100,000 shares. Maybe just buy one.
[00:24:11.470] - CurlyGal
Exactly.
[00:24:12.380] - Agnieszka
For a start.
[00:24:14.190] - CurlyGal
And you know what? I encourage even demo accounts at the beginning. I'm going to be really honest. I started with real money, and whatever I was making or losing, it was real. And I did that for a very long time. And I remember thinking, oh, it's not the same. My emotions are not going to translate the same if I'm in demo. However, the end of 2022 and even the beginning of this year, I feel that the market has become more challenging. And I did start it, especially because I started dabbling into different instruments. I started using demo more. What I discovered was that I treated as it was just a real account. The emotions are still there. I'm still treating it. I traded the way that I will trade a real account. I trade it with the size that I will trade a real account. I take the amount of risk that I will I translate the whole thing. So I do find it helpful. And I think that especially for beginners, you do want to give yourself the chance to do that instead of just using your real money all the time. Or even like sometimes I'm going back and forth between the two.
[00:25:44.610] - CurlyGal
Sometimes I'm testing something and I just go on demo to do so instead of doing it with my real money. It's just smart, right? If things go down the hill. At least I'm minimizing the amount of money that I'm putting in the line.
[00:25:58.740] - Agnieszka
No, totally. If I have a new strategy that I'm testing, I'm not going to put my money on it. I'm going to first get used to it. Or even if I change my charts or change sometimes testing different platform, I'm not going to just jump in there and start trading. I'm like, I need to know how. It's not even like maybe my mind wants it, but it's the physical adjustment, right. I have to be able to execute trade in a certain way. And I have to make sure that my hand is going to click fast enough through things that my eyes are going to go the right way and not being confused. Where are the things that I need on the screen?
[00:26:37.420] - CurlyGal
Yes. Makes sense.
[00:26:40.290] - Agnieszka
There's a lot that comes into really making trading your own, basically. Right. And it does come to the process, but I think the biggest part of it is really acceptance and self compassion. Giving yourself time, giving yourself love, stop beating yourself up. It's really not easy thing to do that's. Why not many people are succeeding in this, and it takes time. And I really like what you said about the fulfillment that you get, fulfillment from your work. Because I think that's another part that is important, to have something that gives you fulfillment next to trading. You might love looking at charts, you might love trading and everything, but it is such a draining activity mentally and emotionally. You need to recharge somewhere outside of trading.
[00:27:36.610] - CurlyGal
I absolutely agree with you. Yes. And I felt those times when I'm between the job itself, my day job itself can also be mentally draining. It takes a lot of energy, right? It takes a lot of energy when you are working with people and when you're working with mental health, it consumes a lot of energy. Right. It's a lot of output that I put out there for my job. So when I put trading on top of that, it can take a toll. I found myself feeling so exhausted and so done at end of the day, getting knocked out and sleep with my life on. That reminds me of the importance of I need to recharge, like you said. But I need to give myself lapses of times in between, right. Rather than me showing up to the market. Because it's good to have that screen time, but it doesn't mean that you have to come to the market to trade every single day. And sometimes it means that being able to calm my mind and my nervous system. Really, I find myself having to calm my nervous system. Intentional, being intentional about that. I do that through meditation or to reducing the amount of times that I'm exposed to the market for as hard as it is, because I want to be there sometimes.
[00:29:15.800] - CurlyGal
Like, okay, I need to give myself a break and give some days in between that has become more important as time has gone by. That's one of the biggest pieces that I've learned, especially as of recently, from 2022 coming into 2023.
[00:29:34.420] - Agnieszka
And that's where healthy routine comes in, right. And back to the process. Because if you decide to spend the whole day in front of a charts, even if you're not trading, you're in a kind of alert position because you want to see if there is an opportunity. So even though you're not trading actively, you're still alert in that state.
[00:29:57.200] - CurlyGal
That's a very good point. That's a very good point. So I guess that we have to carve those times. We have to be intentional about carving time to just be off, right. Just be away. Be off. Be away and doing something else.
[00:30:15.780] - Agnieszka
Yeah. And not feel bad because the market will be there when you come back.
[00:30:19.910] - CurlyGal
Right.
[00:30:21.190] - Agnieszka
It's not like, okay, this is the only day that you can take a trade. There will always be opportunity. I did have myself travel to let go, and I would force myself and go and take a nap, but then instead of sleeping, I would be sitting there with my phone, opening my platform and just watching stocks. It was crazy! In case something breaks out. It was absolutely nuts. Now I just trade till eleven, and after that I'm done. I close my platforms and I sometimes do check to see how things are going or if there are earnings after hours, I want to know, because that would mean that I might be opportunity for next day. But it's definitely not driven by that must, I must know. I must be there all the time.
[00:31:15.270] - CurlyGal
Exactly.
[00:31:16.710] - Agnieszka
Trading can be a very lonely occupation and right. And many traders look for some sort of community. That's where Twitter comes in. Someone that you can actually talk about trading. Because not many people from outside of this industry really understand what you are going through, especially when you struggle, right. So they don't really know how to give you support. The best that they can do is say, just quit. That's not what you want to hear. Even though I understand why people who love you want you to stop trading because they see your pain, so they're like, just quit it. Just cut it. On the other hand, how do you know that in this highly driven by money conditions, people truly have your best interest in minds? Like how do you want to build community, but how do you know who to trust? And we talked a little bit about that really sincere and fantastic community on Twitter that we are part of, which surprised me when I joined, that it actually exists. But what was your experience in that area? Because you joined Twitter not so long time ago, right?
[00:32:29.780] - CurlyGal
Two years ago. It was in January 2021. There were two years in the FinTweet community. Well, like I said, when I first started, it was just more about sharing my progress and kind of like being uplifting to others as to this is something that is a possibility for everyone. However, I also had the experience that I was involved in the market with my brother when I started as well. So that was kind of cool having that partnership with him and being able to go through struggles and being able to talk about it and be frustrated if you wanted to be frustrated, be excited if you wanted to be excited. And so that was like a to go person that I had at home close by that I could share those things with. But when it comes to the social media again, I actually found my mentor through Twitter and how did I know it came all very organically. He had reached out one day after I had posted a very heartbreaking post. I had lost like $2,000.
[00:33:51.340] - Agnieszka
Oh my gosh.
[00:33:55.210] - CurlyGal
I had this trade and I went with size and I lost like $2,000. And I remember posting about it and it was an options trading and I was just heartbroken. I was like, how do I make that switch to avoid losing so much, right? And he had reached out and he was extremely kind and very genuine and he commented and then we got to chat a little bit about my trade. He offered to look into the trade and gave me some feedback as to what had transpired and whatnot. And from that I started checking out his services. And I actually started with Lowers, like an email. It was an email service that he had. And I was learning a lot through the information from emails. I did not started with a discord or a group, I just started with receiving these emails for the week with weekly information and it included alerts and whatnot. But also it was very comprehensive into telling patterns what is that we're looking for information that kind of helped me to learn about what to look for, news, market information, just flow, just a bunch of different things together in one place. And so I was still trading solo, but was using this information that was helping me understand the market and the trades and how to trade options in a more comprehensive way. So it was extremely educational. I really like that. And then eventually I transitioned into joining the group. The group that he had. And the group, I really liked it because it was a small group but it was also very it was like a safe place. And I think that that's key. When you are in a group where you can actually share your things, there's transparency. You can share everything from your good times to your bad times, to your frustrations to I really messed it up today, this is what I did. And not feel like you're going to be ashamed or. Not feel like you're going to be dragged on. Right. That's something that I found there. And it became like this extended family, so to speak. The people who has been in this group have been there for a very long time. And we are extremely supportive to each other and we've grown together. I look back now and I see, wow, the person that started then is not the same person now. I know so much more. But I'm also able to implement and navigate myself much more, better in trading than what I used to. And that also make it to where it wasn't isolating. You see what I'm saying? Because I think that the part where when I have had isolated in the past has been when I'm struggling. When I'm struggling and I'm like, is it okay to say this? I'm struggling or I'm super red and how am I getting myself from that emotional spectrum? It can get dark if it can be a dark place to be. And talking about that can be I don't know, I feel that there's been times where I felt like a sense of shame, like coming from the point of, okay, I know this, I conceptually know this. Why did I still do it? Or why did I repeated this thing when I know better? Right? And that has been the times and the places where having that strong cohesive community group and mentorship has been key. Because it's hard. It's hard. And being able to face myself and accept, yes, it is hard. It was hard. This is what I'm feeling and it is okay, I can allow myself to feel this right now. And I can walk you through with my mentor tomorrow. It's going to be okay, we can make a plan for this. And he has been always being very encouraging to myself and others with just being there, being able to be supportive, without being without bashing you down.
[00:39:13.630] - Agnieszka
Yeah, because we do it ourselves enough, right. And that shame feeling bring you in a really dark places because a lot of times it's connected to all other emotions and experiences from the past. And the moment that you are on your own, there is no sense of that vulnerability where you kind of think you have to deal with it on your own. Right. You feel alone and then you go down that spiral because now you start calling yourself names and it just becomes you go deeper and deeper. When you have the community where you can actually share what you're feeling, what you're going through, and also hear from other people that they are going through the same thing, you have much more compassion for yourself because you know, okay, this is not just me, right. It is just pretty difficult thing to accomplish. And there is nothing wrong with me. I just have a difficult time. So bringing up that compassion for yourself and that love we talked about is much easier when you receive love from others, right? Because in that community, that's what you get. If you have community you trust. Especially, I think what you mentioned about the size of the community, that's really key.
[00:40:32.080] - Agnieszka
That it is not 1000 people in the chat just all telling you that they make money because that makes you feel even worse about yourself when you're losing again. It's like how are they doing it? What am I doing wrong here?
[00:40:46.300] - CurlyGal
Right.
[00:40:47.790] - Agnieszka
So when you have people that you can actually hear from and you know that they are there to support you, it creates this extra backup if you feel a little bit less.
[00:40:58.320] - CurlyGal
And accountability! Change comes starts there. I've had times where I've been able to say hey, I did this today. This transpire. I'm just not at the best place. But I'm being honest and transparent about what went through. The first thing I realized is that it opens the doors. It gives permission for others to do the same. To say you know what, I've been going through this too, right? So you can relate, you can share those experiences and then you can grow from them. We keep ourselves accountable and then we are actually able to say let's make a plan for this. How can we make it to where we are not repeating the same pattern? If this is the pattern, my mentor might come and say okay, let's just get on a one on one and let's just come up with a plan to address this particular issue. Like you mentioned, the size, I think it has been great because the size of the group, because there's a very personal relationship between my mentorship, myself and my mentorship and the rest of the participants in the group. And it's so interesting because he knows us by our personalities, he knows our personalities, he knows how we operate, he knows our weaknesses, he knows our strengths and he is able to very individualize cater to those things.
[00:42:35.330] - CurlyGal
So it's funny because sometimes it's like oh, he has insight into each of each one of us, account size, what we struggle and whatnot. So he's able to say hey, we're looking into this. This is the reason why I'm looking into this. But I encourage those with a small size account. This is not the play for it, right? For example, and that becomes important when you are in the process of learning, identifying, okay, what's the trade that you can actually tolerate and what's the trade that you can not all are in the same level of experience or even personality, like you said before. So it has made it to where I feel I'm definitely a much better trader and I can manage have more self control with having that accountability from the group than if I was solo. When you're solo, you think, oh, nobody's watching you. And you just keep repeating the same stuff over and over and over. But when you have somebody who's watching, they can point out, hey, look at this, or remember when you said this? Remember that you're struggling with this. So it becomes very nice to have yeah.
[00:44:02.190] - Agnieszka
Normally when you trade on your own, nobody's watching you, but in fact, you are watching yourself. The only problem is that we lie to ourselves and we don't want to admit that. Okay, now I'm convincing myself to do something that I said I wouldn't. Right. So having that sense of integrity, it is easier when you have another person that you say, okay, I'm going to promise to you because we tend to have more integrity with other people than we have with ourselves. And that's back to that building the relationship with yourself based on love, compassion and integrity.
[00:44:43.530] - CurlyGal
Yes, absolutely. And facing I wanted to add to what you just said that point. It's been happening recently through this year, I've been working on learning a new instrument. Right. So I went from options into looking into futures. And so it's relatively new for me. I've been going through some evaluations as well, and I have yet to pass them. Yeah, it's been exciting. It's been a good experience. But I have not been able to pass the evaluation yet. I've actually flung them and that's something that I will be sharing more on my Twitter page of. But what I wanted to say is like being able to face myself, having somebody who say, hey, look at this, look at this in the mirror. What is going on? Even outside of trading, you are a good trader. These are the words that my mentor said to me recently too. I was like, you are a good trader and you are being a poor money manager currently. And then that trigger that thought of what is going on in my life financially outside of trading right now. Is there holes? Is there places where I'm neglecting? Right? So it kind of put me in a situation where it's like, let me take a look deeper at what's going on.
[00:46:35.520] - CurlyGal
And I'm super grateful for that because, yes, it's completely right. I think I am being a poor money manager at this time. I'm doing it in this other areas in my life. So let me stop for a second step.
[00:46:52.820] - Agnieszka
Let me fix that.
[00:46:53.820] - CurlyGal
Let me fix this so that I can come with a clearer mind into the market to do the things that I know that works and present with the discipline that I need to present in order to be able to do this successfully. Right? So, yes, it's just part of the process and I just love them and extremely grateful to have that.
[00:47:18.560] - Agnieszka
That's awesome. So for those of you guys who are listening and you don't have a community, what I would recommend is connect with our guest on Twitter, CurlyGirl Investor. And that's a good way to start building community, right?
[00:47:37.010] - CurlyGal
And of course you have to sweep through the Twitter world but you can definitely find there's definitely good people out there being honored enough to come across with really good people that I've been able to exchange DMs and speak to privately or others that are walking through my same steps, right. That may or may not be struggling and we just connect and exchange ideas and support each other. I think that's what social media is supposed to be about in the first place.
[00:48:21.090] - Agnieszka
Yeah, that's true. The moment that I started to reach out to people, I started getting the same type of people as I am who have the same value, who really like the genuine connection and that community started to grow and as you say, I came across so many wonderful people and yourself, of course. And now we are connecting on the wife. So that is just wonderful. So don't sit in your cave but just get out of your shell and put yourself out there. Vulnerability is something that you need as a trader because that's what the market requires. You have to be vulnerable and you have to be willing to put yourself out there. And yes, you might be hurt, but that's exactly what the market does. It throws challenges at you and sometimes you take a loss, right? So you have to be willing to take that hit and the keys that it will not take you off your feet, but that is in your control. That is that risk management and money management, right?
[00:49:31.270] - CurlyGal
Absolutely.
[00:49:32.710] - Agnieszka
This was really fantastic. I so enjoyed talking with you and you have brought up so many great points that I think will really help people to get some different perspective about failure and about how to go through that journey and more compassion. That's the whole purpose of this podcast and I think you put it in such beautiful words how you thank you.
[00:50:00.530] - CurlyGal
You know what Agnieszka I was thinking? It is very interesting because when we see in the conversation of success versus failure, when we see and when we think about the people that we look up to that are successful in whatever area it might be right, what people don't see is what it took for them to get there. And people think, oh, this is just something that he's just successful. No, it did not just came to be that it fall into his life. This came with 5, 10, 15 years of hard work, right? If I think of my okay, let's just say myself in my profession as a social worker, I'm 15 years in social work. The social worker who started on that first year post grad is not the same person. Right. It doesn't have the same skills or abilities as the person right now sitting in front of you. And that is very important. I think that's why sharing that process and being willing to say I failed or I mean, is it really failure. If it takes five times for me to fall to then accomplish the level of success that I am aiming for, is it really failure?
[00:51:28.160] - CurlyGal
No. Failure is just part of the journey to success. And I think that we have to have that in perspective when we are trying to compare ourselves to others out there. We don't know where in their journey they are at. When you see people who have succeeded, this took a lot of behind the scenes that you have yet to see. Right. So I hope that through me sharing my journey and the ups and downs, that people can get a better grasp that this is what real trading looks like. It's not peaches and cream.
[00:52:10.020] - Agnieszka
Exactly.
[00:52:10.670] - CurlyGal
Every single day.
[00:52:12.120] - Agnieszka
Yeah. And failing is really feedback. And I have to think about this last launch from Starlink, from Elon Musk. They were laughing on TV that eventually it exploded, but the team said it was supposed to.
[00:52:28.530] - CurlyGal
It was an accomplishment. It was absolutely a great accomplishment. All the information that they were able to get from that launch.
[00:52:36.390] - Agnieszka
Exactly. So that's what the failure it's not really a failure. It's like when you fall, you have to learn from it. And if you don't take the lesson, then it's a waste of time. Right. So instead of beating yourself up, just sit down, look through your charts, see, journal what you did, that you can improve next time. What you did. What you did good. Because there's always something good that you did. It's not like it's not just, oh, I lost money. I don't want to look at this anymore. No, that's a waste of money. Now you don't take the lesson. At least if you paid, take the lesson.
[00:53:13.160] - CurlyGal
Exactly. Take the lesson. I love that. I love how you put that there.
[00:53:18.110] - Agnieszka
Thank you. That brings us to the end of this episode, and I really hope that this discussion, which was fantastic, and thank you so much for that, will help traders who are listening to gain some new perspectives and also encourage them to look at the trading journey from, I would say more realistic point of view. Right. Because for most traders, it is really not the world of Ferraris and cocktails on a private yacht. To make this journey successful, you need to demand a lot from yourself. So wherever you are in your journey, you need to ask yourself, can you commit to that demand?
[00:54:01.370] - CurlyGal
Yes. That's a great question.
[00:54:03.790] - Agnieszka
Thank you so much for joining us today. CurlyGal, Investor and for this candid conversation. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and your point of views, which are so valuable. So thank you. Thank you so much for that.
[00:54:19.600] - CurlyGal
Thank you for having me.
[00:54:22.050] - Agnieszka
And thank you for listening to the Confidence in Trading Podcast. If you enjoy my show, please review it and rate it on Apple podcast and be sure to subscribe so you can come back for a real, live conversation in the next episode. Until then. This is Agnieszka Wood from Ahead Coach. And don't forget, you too can realize your dream without losing yourself and your confidence in the process.
____________________________________
✉ Contact me: launchyourlife@aheadcoach.com
____________________________________
▶️ My website: https://www.aheadcoach.com/
▶️ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Ahead_Coach
▶️ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/agnieszkawoodpage/