The boys fit check this year’s Olympics opening ceremony, dissect cannibal accused Armie Hammer - and answer your burning questions.
Boys Gone Wild
Boys Gone Wild | Episode 233: Armie Hammer
(upbeat music) - Hello, and welcome back to another episode of "Boyzion Wild." I'm joined by a beautiful assistant, Andrew Cohen. - I'm here to distract from the magic. - How are you doing, brother? - Pretty bad. It's been a tough time since I've last seen you. - Yeah. - We went out for a 10 minute break and everything came crashing down. - Yeah. - No, what I am is excited, excited, and I'll tell you why, 'cause I've got Olympic fever. - Yeah. - Give me those seven rings and I'll marry all of them. They're all a different wedding ring to me. - Yeah. People don't fuck with the Olympics like I thought they did. It does seem like only me and you like the Olympics. - So people are not fuck, the reason why I love the Olympics is 'cause it's like, it's the only time where it's a thousand different sports on whatever it is. - Yeah. - All at once. The joy of being able to flick through-- - No, I love it. - No, no, I'm not, for the people who don't. The joy of being able to flick through your red button and see, you know, javelin, swimming, archery, shooting. - And I made it, but maybe I've loved it because I don't know if we were doing shit, maybe I wouldn't like it as much, it's because we've done so well. - And we get it, yeah. - Yeah, maybe if we were doing terribly, maybe I wouldn't like it, but I liked all the last ones because of that, basically. - I'd still like it, but it's good that we've got a dog in the fight. - Yeah. - And our dog are the GB men and women. - GB News. - Yeah, so it would have started by now. - Yeah. - In fact, are you going to watch the ceremony? You're not going to watch the ceremony. - I properly, yeah, I don't know. I try and watch all of it. This is what's been annoying about Edinburgh is this like, yeah, I would have loved just like a nothing summer, just to-- - Watch the Olympics. - Yeah, just do nothing. It's the perfect thing to do absolutely nothing to it. - It's true. Well, I'm actually watching a Netflix documentary about sprinters, it's cool, sprint. And yeah, Noah Liles, who was just on there, he's quite big at the moment. - The problem with sprinters is if you're not beating Usain Bolt's records, then it's like-- - Who cares? - Sort of. - Obviously it's great, obviously it's one of the most fun ones, but Usain Bolt was so thrilling because he was-- - 'Cause he's so good. - No one ever has ever done it quicker. - Yeah, then they're not really getting that close. - Oh, they're not? - No. - 'Cause you think that we just keep getting closer, we're just going to keep getting faster and faster, right? That's your thing, but how are we getting slower? What's going on? - Well, because he was just a freak. - Yeah. - I don't know, that's kind of, well, there's some things like Michael, what's his name? Michael Johnson, the sprinter, one of his records, I think one of his 200 media records that had stood in the US national team for like 30 years. I know that's just the US, but there was some, there was some just, sprinting is a lot about genetic freaks. - Yeah, and then it's like the chariot of fire era, which is like what, like 40s, that's like, it took them like 50 seconds to do a hard break. It was so much sand on the course, and they were running with like spikes on their feet, like just on their bare feet. - Yeah, full armour. - Yeah, I mean, some of my balls. - Both balls, yeah. - Yeah, the documents you just come out about her. - Well, she gets really anxious on that. - Yeah, she gets a bit spooked. - Yeah, and so she's nervous, nearly, that's her special move. - She withdrew from the last Olympics, didn't she? - 'Cause we're mental health reasons, right? - Yeah. - But then I did see some of her stuff, and she can bloody flip with the rest of them. - You're hearing that here first. She can flip with the rest of them, that biles. - Yeah, no, I think names will start to come out a bit more when it actually starts. - What do you learn from sprint then? As the documentary, what did you-- - It's not the most interesting one. I've got-- - It's a very, it's a very one-dimensional sport. - 100%. - 100%. - You are just watching them sprint in different countries. Maybe sometimes they do it under water for training. - Sure. - But yeah, it's not, they try, I've sat through a loss of sports documentaries, and this was one that I found myself not really coming back to. - Yeah. - Because it is just basically who gets to the end of fastest. - Yeah. (laughs) - And also the problem with it is that with football, you've got 90 minutes. - Yeah. - With American football, you've got four quarters of 20 minutes. With rugby, you've got 80 minutes, and then with sprinters, you've got nine seconds. - Yeah. - So you're really bust too low. I imagine big sprint fan, you've been cured for ages to get your beer and hot dog. - Yeah, yeah. - You're bowing your way through the crowd. - And you sit down-- - And then you hit a gun as you're just near. You're sitting up, fuck, fuck, get out of the way. You try and eat your hot dog as quickly as you can, and then they just, you see them pass a lot immediately. - I like the idea of trying to make sure you eat a drink during it as much as possible. And let's enjoy this as much as possible. (laughs) - But who thinks the best athlete of all time, because I obviously watch an incredibly boring football TikToks, and often they're talking about the greatest athlete as well. And then it's just like, but it's like, you're either saying messy or you say bolt, aren't you? - Athlete, I think you can't say a football player. - Why not? - But what does athlete mean then? - No, no, no, I think no, you can, but for me, it wouldn't be that. - What does an athlete mean? - It could include messy, but I don't think, messy is just amazing at football. I was gonna potentially say Phelps. Because of his, he's won 28 medals. Do you know what I mean? - Yeah. - 28's too many. And like-- - I guess the argument for messy is that it's the most people trying to do it. - There's also a subjective nature to the football or what in a way. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - So who do you say is the best athlete of all time? - Well, a lot of people, like, every single sports documentary that I watch. - Is Michael Jordan, right? - Michael Jordan. - Yeah. - They all say Jordan. And I think-- - But then the problem is he's kind of disputed with LeBron, right? - Not really. Not funny. - It seems like, and I know nothing about basketball. - Maybe do I. - But I'm still gonna say-- - We're still gonna talk about that. - From what I picked up is that LeBron kind of-- - LeBron. - It's kind of annoying. - Great start. LeBron, LeBron Gyms. - What's that? - LeBron. - LeBron Gyms. - I said LeBron, didn't I? - That wasn't him. - I said LeBron. - Let's say LeBron. - I can't have it a producer. - LeBron. - Sorry, I didn't mean to-- - LeBron Gyms. - LeBron Gyms. - LeBron Gyms. - The thing I like about LeBron Gyms is what I picked up is that you could probably argue that he's as good as Michael Jordan. It's just no one likes him as much, and it's kind of annoying that he's better than Jordan. - I don't think he's one of enough titles. - Okay. - I think that's the thing. - Fine. I don't know enough. - Yeah. - I had to be honest with you, do I? But I think I know that. - But no, but he's also been, it's a bit like, you know, it was kind of a bit like messy taking Argentina to a World Cup final. It's him, the consistent winning of the, is it the World Series or something? With the Bulls. - I'd probably say messy because you look at the amount of people playing basketball. It's just like, no, but who's playing American football? It's like a drop in the ocean for how many football players there are. - Yeah, but-- - Everyone in their nan's playing footy. - I guess they are, but is that relevant? - It is, 'cause it's like, I think it's the most competitive, hardest sport to be the best in the world. - The thing is-- - To be the goat of that sport is the hardest sport to be. 'Cause even golfing, it's a hundred rich white guys. - Tiger is a hundred percent out there. - He's up there with, I'm Tiger maybe. - But then he doesn't even want the most majors in his own sport. - Yeah, because he went nuts. - So, I mean, you're just gonna, if you're doing the goat of goats, if we're goat farming-- - And we are. (laughing) - There are many ways we are. - For milk. - Don't milk, don't change. - Probably the goat of goats has to be messy, I think. - I think, yeah, but it's all, you're obviously gonna say that. - Because it's like all the American ones, yeah, they're amazing. - Let's look at this list that Charlie's found, it's fell to the top. - But then, I've seen someone, I've seen someone, of what people talk about this, right? - That's right. - And the one that keeps coming up on top, like the Edgelord pick is Wayne Gretzky. - Oh fuck off, who is he? - Like, yeah, but like 300 people play ice hockey. So, someone's got either, but basically the reason why he's the best is because he, within his sport, he's like head and shoulders above. - Yeah, but that's like, - Donald Bradman, right? - Don Bradman, yeah. - Who's just like a statistical freak, but then. - Yeah, I know, but that's how-- - Who would your natural instinct be for the best greatest athlete of all time? - It would be, I think it's somewhere in the Olympics for some reason. And you wanna like-- - Kelly Holmes. - Dame Kelly Holmes. Jessica Reynolds Smith, to you. (laughing) - That was a very weird joke. (laughing) - No, I felt comes to mind quickly because of the quantity of medals and the diversity of them, 'cause I know they're all fucking swimming is what you're all gonna say. (laughing) - I guess a lot of people swim. - No, I guess I think about-- - Why do you keep, it's not about the amount of people that do-- - It's a little bit. - But it's not my primary concern. - No. - But swimming, so, you know, he's done, he's won a medal in every stroke, and probably multiple medals in every single stroke. - Yeah. - Not a lot of swimming. - He's bloody good at swimming. (laughing) - And swimming is like a cool thing to be good at. No, it's like, that's quite a natural, it's quite a key human activity. - I guess I'm bored here in the, it's boring that like, oh, what's that wack hump. (laughing) - Very good, very good. But no, so, what I reckon would might be true is that it would be either Roger Federer or Rafa Nadal if the other one hadn't existed, because they would have been-- - A jock of it, right? - A jock of it, but he came in later. He came in later, but like, those two were like, in terms of the biggest, holy shit, who are these fuckers in a sport? They were head and shoulders above the rest, playing each other in basically every fucking grand slam final. And the only reason, and it was incredible how they're still, they're like on the, I think Nadal's just won one more, one more major. That's what you kind of, I think you called the major-- - Yeah. - Than Federer. - I guess if you're trying to do the greatest athlete all the time, if you're disputed in your own sport, then it's kind of hard to-- - But that's what I'm saying. - I think you don't even sit at the table. - But that's what I'm saying. - You kind of got to be undeniable in your own sport as a bare minimum. - I agree, that's what I was saying if one of them wasn't there. They've got a jock of it, she's above Nadal. Get to fuck. - Yeah, I'd say a jock of it, she's better than Nadal. - Bollocks. - A veteran's only up here at six. - That's unfair. That's unfair. - Is he saying that I was about the knock of it? - I'm a big Nadal head. - I prefer him, but he's not bad at all. - He's not bad at all. - And I was fair when, tell us people talk about it, they say jock of it. - No, they say jock of it. - Doesn't they? - Let's rank. - But they say jock of it is on easy street. Because he's included within the three of them. But he like, when it was properly going down with those two in their peak, he was still coming up. He was doing well, but he wasn't challenging them. And then there was a bit where they all challenged each other. And now the fact that those two have gone, he can clean up, he's been cleaning up titles for years because those two have hit their peak and gone down. So he's a swister. - Now, do you think Nadal's bum smells nice or badly considering that he's picking and smelling it? Is it a... - I'm not gonna... - No, he's not that with an arm. - No, no, that's not fair. - Talking about my gut. - No, I'm just saying that. Is it because it's more stinky than most bums? Or because it's less stinky? - It'll be less stinky, and I'll tell you what. (laughing) - It's less stinky because he's not picking it because it's stinky. (laughing) - I guess I don't watch as much tennis as you do. - He's picking it because it's a tick. - Oh, I see. - It's part of his service. - Okay, fine. - It's part of his whole scene. I think he does it all the time. - Yeah. - It's part of his attempt that he does. It's not because... - Because he's got a stinky ass. It's not because of that. - It's like a news night interview where you're like, answer the question, does he ever stinky ass? He's not, no, I don't think it is. It's a tick, so I actually think he's gonna be thinking about the cleanliness of his bum more than your average player. - Yeah. - Anyway. - Let's rank Olympic outfits. - Yeah, let's rank Olympic outfits. So, the opening ceremony every country comes with a different outfit that's designed by someone, you know? - Does that happen every year? - Every year. - I didn't know they were always so like, a yoga swim. - Yeah, yeah. - Do they come out of there? - You know when they go like Azerbaijan? - Yeah. - And then they come out and they're like... - Hello! - And they're waving the flag. We're here too. - Yeah. - So that's what it'll be for. - Yeah, they're the official uniforms of the Olympics. - Yeah. - It's when every athlete wears the same thing rather than their individual sport stuff. - So, Team USA, they've gone for like the bullies and the social networks. - It's a zero-out-of-tension, right? - Yeah, it's like a date rapist lacrosse energy. - Yeah, frat, frat, polo. I mean, they've gone for a polo raffle, right? - Yeah, they've gone for my... I'm a bit accused of date raping a girl, but my dad's gonna get me off 'cause he's super rich. - On the opening ceremony, they're wearing jeans. - Yeah. - You know, it looks like my dad just got back from work. - That's a promise. - My dad's got back from work, but it has a quick turnaround to go to a 60th birthday party. - There was a comic on the circuit who was out as a paedophile, but he dressed like that. He's like, yeah, he's actually so agile time. (laughing) - He's so agile time. - Yeah, so it's legit. - Oh, who are they? - Frant. - Oh. Now, it appears good, wait, stay on there, please. It appears good, but fundamentally it's bad. - Yeah, well, it's not too different from the suit. - The problem is we've had a... The USA is one of the worst ones that we started with it. Whereas this, they've gone from... So, the women have like vest suits on with a kind of rainbow-ish, it's not really a rainbow. - Yeah. - They're not very good with colors, but like a kind of deep collar that go... It's like a sache actually. - Yeah. - And then the men are kind of... They've got pocket squares, which are a bit like... It's kind of one of those presets on Microsoft Word that you can color a background with. - Yeah. - I'm giving up. - It's giving nothing. It's, wow, really, really good. We'll give that a four, I think. - Yeah. - Team Italy. - It's based right out. Okay, well, that's rubbish. - That's awful. - What? - For those of you at home listening, it's basically track suits. - It's like, it's sort of like a boxers family. - Is the wheelchair part of the uniform? - Yeah. - So, it's like, you know, it's like those hoodies. I think I've had one of those hoodies when I was in year four. You know when you'd have those big Italian? - Yeah. - When I had a... - It's like, I said, the gap. - When I had a period of supporting Inter Milan, because I did a FIFA career mode with them. - Yeah. - Let's keep going. - That's a three. - Three, yeah. - Mongolia. - Mongolia, nine out of 10. - Nine out of 10. It's stylish, it's key, it's... I don't know much about Mongolian culture. - Well, I know a fair bit about Mongolian culture. There's... It's the least densely populated country in the world. - Right. - And they've reflected that beautifully in their outfits. There are only four of them in that picture. - That's half the country, right? So, there's fucking no one there. - They're fit. - Yeah. - Well, hold on, that's great. Describe it for the people listening. - So, it's sort of like, I guess whenever it's, you know everyone would be insensitive somehow, but it's sort of like a Velcro bib. (laughing) - Right, yeah, I do see that. - It looks a bit like a fencing vest, but beautifully done. - Yeah, it's got the sort of like... - Skirts and the trousers are 10 out of 10. - Yeah. - Some pleated, some aren't. - It's gender bending. - It's gender bending, guys wearing a skirt. - Yeah. - Love it. - It's got lovely ornate designs. - Nine out of 10. - Yeah, brilliant. - I agree with Nine out of 10. Now we go to Haiti. - Cool. - Okay. - Now, that could have been a nine again, except for the skininess of the male trousers. - Yeah. Now, Haiti, what's interesting is that... - Can you describe before we go? - What do you want me to do, this is one. - Okay, so what we're seeing now is a big, loud, colorful skirt for the woman with a kind of preppy blazer with like a cummerbund sort of tightening. - It's like a cummerbund. - Yeah, cummerbund. And then a sort of like... - It's not so good about that. - Like a Tim Burton-esque sort of like emo boots. You know? - Yeah? - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah, Charlie's you have a word for those. - You have a word for those. - You have a word for those. - You have a word for those. - No, that helped. - So they've decided to go with everything. We'll just do... - The woman, 10 out of 10, I'd say. - I don't agree. - The man, I think we're looking at a three. - It's bold, but I'm gonna give it... I'd say seven, 'cause they miss it. - But the man is wearing the same pattern in a skinny leg jeans. - Yeah. - Well, trousers, but they're on the verge of, they're super skinny nearly, they're very tight. - So as a country, Haiti's going through some of the worst times of any country in the world. - I'm just trying to write their outfits. - Yeah. So there's been complete political standstill, right? It's been completely overrun with gang warfare. - Yeah. - So it is interesting, I guess, like it feels, from all the videos I've watched, it feels like the country's completely gone to a standstill. - Yeah. - It isn't interesting that they managed to get out such dank outfits, considering... - It's true. - So at least that the troubles haven't affected the disease. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'd like to know the process that went on, you know. - Guys! - I feel like the president's being held hostage at the moment. - Yeah, but the man is... - Yeah, the man is supposed to fucking like... - Yeah. Well, the guy looks a little bit gang. There's some gang aesthetic going on. He's got like a bandana tied round his neck. This kind of loose denim. It looks a bit like... - Maybe, I don't know. - I don't know. - Too far into that. - Yeah. - The Czech Republic, terrifying. - Tie dye. - We're talking tie dye... - Sort of... - A tie dye kimono sort of vibe. - Tie dye ponchos in a polo shirt. It's all tie dye, and they seem to be holding some sort of hearts. - I would give that a two for me. - I'd give that a five, because it's a bit fun. - It's not that bad. - All right, we'll do one more, we'll do one more. Great Britain. - Great Britain. - Rubbish, absolutely rubbish. - What did I tell you? - That is rubbish. - That is H&M. - That sucks. - How bad is it, mate? - Ben Sherman. - What? What is going on? Like... Haiti. - Oh my God. Why is that man standing like that as well? It's not helping the fair. - Haiti is a failed state, and they're putting out an outfit 30 times better than us. - Well, I think that's the problem is that we have to give, like, it's probably Ben Sherman's turn. (laughing) You've got to always give. We've got so many designs. - Do you fare, yeah. If Ben Sherman was in Haiti, he would have been killed by now. - That is fucking awful. That's actually, that's the worst we've seen. - It's just, what is it, what is it? I want to hear Ben Sherman unveil this and describe what he thinks is good about it. - Doesn't that look like every mannequin you see in H&M? - It's... - H&M is better than that. - If I want to blend into Oxford Street, as a mannequin, I'd wear that. - Why Oxford, like a... - It's just generic high street. - Well, more like back in Sussex. - Yeah, I guess so. - That's like what people wear on British Hill High Street. (laughing) I am disappointed because I was looking, when that first came out, I was looking through them, and I was laughing at America's. I was like, what's fucking wrong with you? Like, the amount of incredible or successful designers you have, and that's the shit you come up with. - And then fucking Ben Sherman. - And then I went down and I was like, yeah, and then I was looking at all the good ones. I was like, great, we're going to be amazing. And then we've done, I was pissed off that America were wearing jeans. Because at least jeans are quintessentially Americans. - Yeah. - We've just, we've got jeans on for now. - We've got Ben Sherman. - And then we got that pop-up jacket, also American. - Everything of that, that would have been great. A school disco five years ago. There's been controversy over "Strictly Can't Dance." - Yeah, what happened? - Someone got kicked. - In a video that traumatized them when they watched it back, but it implied that it was only seeing it back that traumatized them. - I didn't hear that. - Zara McDermott got kicked by her dance partner. And then she said, watching the footage back was incredibly harrowing. - No, that wasn't, she didn't get kicked live on air. - No, no, it was, it was training videos. - Why would she watch the training videos back where they got kicked? - Because I think someone's clearly flagged. - I think you've got fucking kicked in their head love. - You don't know what's going on. No, what happened was she has come out and said that there was very poor conditions on the rehearsal sets. - Yeah, what's going on, it's true. - And then she'd said, rewatching any footage has done that. - So yeah, it's-- - You really couldn't answer for those of you who are on in the UK is just a dance show. - It's like dance, yeah it does, it does. - What's going on with that show? Because a lot of people's careers get ended because they always cheat on their partners when they're on strike. - One guy. - No, it's like the strictly curse. - Oh yeah, sorry. - The strictly curse, that's having like three or four times. - Yeah, it's true. - And it seemed like, I mean, I guess if you're with a sexy dancer. - It takes two to tango. - Yeah, what does that mean? You have to also be a sexy dancer. Yeah, it's interesting because I guess if you're in a marriage and then you're spending a month with a really sexy dancer and they're teaching you how to dance, then you-- - Eyes on the floor for the whole time. - Yeah, I guess it is. I mean, it does feel-- - What is dancing if not sex? - Yeah, it does feel in the pro. Like, how do you feel if your girlfriend might not necessarily be dancing with the sexiest man in the world? - Two one, man. - Who's just like, just flailing her about, flailing her. - Or just like flipping her around, just doing things you couldn't dream of doing. - You couldn't ever dream of like kissing her. - Listening to her stories. - Listening to her stories. Being there for the end of the day. Yeah, now it's obviously quite emasculating in some ways. - It's emasculating, but it works on both sides. - It can be kind of hot. - What, watching another man has been dancing. - Oh, it's a bit of like, oh, oh, a bit of competition. - Yeah, I guess so, it means you have to up your game. I just feel like-- - It's obviously, I think particularly for, I don't know, women as well, I think it's a tougher watch. - But I know it's both, it's both, it's both, it's both. - It just feels like it's so sexual, imparted. You're both. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you know-- - It was dancing, isn't it? - Yeah, but also, as we said, like there's nothing hornier than a school play. - Yeah. - Like you kind of have that. - Oh, 100% with Shrek. - Every night. - And look at the dances all the time. You gotta grab them everywhere. The dance is dance is sex. - Yeah. - What else is it? - So you try to do-- - You wouldn't mind-- - You wouldn't mind your girlfriend on the premise that dance is sex, you wouldn't mind her dancing with it abuse. - And she clearly needs to have her a career. So, you know, I've got to swallow the pride and let it off. Let her dance with Giovanni de Santas. And get scored by what's his face when she's doing the tango. Good for her. - Very gravel. - Oh, it's a bird. - Oh, it's a bird. Yeah, no, but there's been controversy that, you know, it's gone beyond sex and it's now battering. - Yeah. - So people have, so most, well, Zara came out, but someone previously-- - I wanna hear what Zara was doing first before I judge. - What being a bitch? - What? (laughing) - It's probably deserved a kick, didn't you? - Oh, no, no, no. - Yeah, you know? Why did you-- This is one of my favorite searches from Charlie the Beatty to the thus far, was why did Zara Dermot get kicked? (laughing) - Because she was being shit and dancing. - She could have been being racist? - No, it would have been like, no, get your body in that position. That's what it would have been, 100%. - Yeah. - It's a very physical thing, right, for a dancing for a dance. - I mean, he's a Mediterranean and it's just-- - Yeah. - You know, they're passionate people. - We don't condone anyone being kicked. It's culturally relative, you know? - Right. - In Italy. - He says he doesn't remember. - It's not a good shout-in. - No. - Well, to be fair, if you're getting-- - You apologize at the time. - If you're gonna kick someone during a rehearsal it's probably just, right. Professional dancing-- - Oh, spat. - What, he denies that? - Deny reports the spat, right? - Well, it's, denied puts the spat. - Can't make it. - You definitely did it. - Definitely spat. - Professional, in professional-- - He's reporting you spat if you didn't spit. Isn't that snark? - Yeah, that's bold. - Do you know what I mean? - Well, you know. - I've spat. - I've spat. - I've spat people accidentally. - No, but you reported he didn't spit. That's still supposed to-- - Yeah, I know. What, in professional dance circles, obviously, it's gonna be pretty fucking leery. You're gonna have, if I'm, you know-- - The kind of headspace. - If I'm in the Chacha World League-- - Yeah. - And then I've got a big meat. I don't know any of the lingo. And I've got a big pageant-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - On the-- - Gala. - Gala on the Friday. And Maria isn't getting a shit together. And I've got, like, an old Italian coach shouting things at me. - Yeah. - There's, it's a different world than the professional dancer, right? - Yeah. - And I think the problem is, is that Giovanni, and whatever the other ones are, have brought it, they brought it in that kind of same atmosphere into people who are just doing it for a game show. - Yeah. - I can understand why he's probably got in that mindset, but he's taken it far too seriously. - Yeah. - Because I'm sure many people in the dance game get kicked all the time. - Yeah. - And that's a sad reality. - Well, I guess he's sort of like the Gordon Ramsay. - Yeah. - But he's not televising it, so it's not like, it's not the shtick. - Yeah, well, imagine if they actually heard that during the "Strictly" program. Let's go see how they got on the rest of it. - You bitch, move your leg. That's all you can do. - But isn't your, you don't have a lot of aspirations for kind of mind's fame or celebrity, but strictly come dancing is the only one where you're like-- - I'll do it. - It's like the only trashy celebrity famey thing that you-- - The only thing I'll ever do. Because I'll win it. I have say it once, I'll say it a thousand times. I actually never-- I actually never-- - He literally wants to do "Strictly". - I'd win it. Honestly, I really want to learn all of these dances. - Yes. - Yes, of all. - Yeah. - Because I think it's a good thing to know. - You'd love it. - I'd love it. I'd love, I'd be kicking the fucking professional dancer. - It would be Bill Cowen would come out of you. - Oh yeah, that kind of sassy, that sassy gay woman that comes out of Dada birthday parties, what he's making a toast. - He wore glitter to his 60th birthday. - Yeah, of course he did. - Of course he did. - A glitter waistcoat. And boy, did he sashay into that room. And I thought, that's the man I want to be. Not even, ironically. No, I'd love to go on it, 'cause I genuinely think it'd be fun. I want to learn those dances, and I'd win it. - Yeah. - Do you dance? - Not, I don't know any of these dances, but I dance-- - He's naturally-- - I dance well. - He's naturally quite a good dancer. - I've never been taught. - No. - So, you know, it's dangerous for the rest of the world, but I feel like you're so arrogant about it that you probably think that you should be the dance instructor to a celebrity. - Not far off. (laughing) - You probably think it's cheating that you go in because you're already singing. - I feel like, oh, we sure this is fair, guys. - You're-- - Is that okay? Well, no, now all this-- - You're kicking Alan Carr. (laughing) I don't know why it's man or man. - Man or man, that's the thing. - Have they done it? - Yeah. - Constrictly come dancing, two men. - Yeah, last year, two men. - For the first time. - I think that maybe did it the year before, though. - Okay. - I've never, I find, ironically, I find strictly the most boring show in the world. I never watch it. I find it fucking mind-numbingly awful because I think it's one of those things that I know loads of people enjoy it, but I think it's only fun for the people doing it. - How would Elle find it if you-- - She'd absolutely hate it. (laughing) If I was doing with Alan Carr, if I was doing with Alan Carr, it would probably be okay. (laughing) - Imagine Alan Carr's around your waist and you're just spinning round and round. - I think she'd be like, this is okay. - Round round, 'cause I've done the choreography. It was me and Alan Carr, that's okay. Of course, she would hate it if I was with a beautiful dancer. (laughing) She despised it. I don't think I could go, I think it would actually end our relationship. - Sure, yeah. But then it would make your career. - It would. (laughing) So, you know, you've got to choose this one, I think. (laughing) And I really want to learn the foxtrot. So, I guess Horatio would call him a boy gone wild because he likes men who do terrible, terrible things. But, again, a fun name. - Yeah, Armie Hammer. - Because it's one of those, do you think the name excuses the crime? It's a bit like Gavin Plumb. - Armie Hammer. No, but Armie Hammer-- - Sounds like a cannibal. - Yeah, I guess it does, but it's not silly in the way that Gavin Plumb was. - It's kind of you were gonna come up with a rapist net. - Yeah, it's true. - Armie. - Anyway, Armie Hammer, for those of you who don't know, is a famous American actor. He played the twins in the social network. - Yeah. - He's been, he got canceled a while ago because he is into some really dark sexual stuff. - Yeah. - He, there was a screenshot of text where he was saying-- - I don't know this cancellation at all, by the way. - Yeah, it's like, what? - No, genuinely don't. - He was gonna eat people. - No, he wasn't. - Hold on, hold on, hold on. So, there's that. - Obviously, no. And he's got completely-- - Clearly, he's clearly into some dark sexual stuff, but he's also been charged with rape quite a few times or not charged, but he's, people have said he's raped. - Fine, I mean, that's not ideal. So, I don't know, do you think it's unfair? Well, we'll get to that after. - But he comes from a long line of nasty freak. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know, I haven't seen the documentary, but apparently his family's a little bit succession-y. - Old money. - Old money. - Into like, really freaky stuff. - So, he was canceled for that, and then he's just gone on, he's been, you know, he's not been about at all, but he's just gone on Piers Morgan. - Yeah. - So, we've got a clip. - This, first of all, address that elephant of the room. Are you accountable? - No. - You know what you have to do to be accountable? You have to have actually eaten someone, so. - Have you ever eaten any human flesh? - No. - All the question I thought I'd ever ask him. - Not a question I'd ever thought I'd have to answer, by the way, but no, never. - What do you feel that a large swathe of the public? - Just think, army hammer. - Well, you're gonna have your menu, then. - If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. - But the reason they would believe it is because you said it. - Sure. - I'm 100% accountable. - And I can go on to this message, these texts. - Go on. - So he said I'm 100% accountable. - It's not pissing me off. This is what happens constantly in the internet. Fine. He's got rape charges against him. No. Anyone who wanted to cancel army hammer, it's not because they're worried that he's gonna eat anyone. It's because they wanted to see his career fall. Like, it's 'cause it's fun to see someone. He's a fun person to see fall down. - I agree and disagree. Let's ignore the rape stuff. If it didn't happen, it did. We don't know, whatever. If it was, obviously he should be careful. - There's a screenshot of saying I like to eat people and be like, oh, he's accountable and that's just. - We've all said stuff on the whole. - It's a fucking text message. - It's a text message. - What does it mean? - He's definitely got some dark shit going on. But then, as long as he's not hurting anyone, fine. But then, I don't know. - He's clearly a loser who's like, you know, I just think it's just like a lame thing that he's like, this is fucking crazy. Go on. Can you be heard with the mic? Is that all right? - But alongside the accusations of rape, if you say I'm 100% accountable, it has a different-- - Yeah. - Are you saying because he said 100%, you're like, well, that's done and distant. - He said 100%. - This is clearly a bit sinister. It's not like far like I'm accountable. - He's clearly having a wink when he's saying it. And I think that that means he's in the moment and he doesn't know what he's saying. He's gonna come and be like, I'm not really-- - What does it mean? I feel that we have such a crazy approach to celebrities in this way. It's like, now there's so much more private stuff that wasn't there before, because you can screenshot things. Like, I don't care. I don't care that he has a weird-- - If he's got a cannibal kink, who cares? - I wanna see how good he, I like to his performances, that I don't care about his cannibal kinks. Why does that-- - There's not a difference because if he's-- - He's not a primary school teacher. - But there was things about him hitting women's heads against the wall, and unconcentually. He's clearly got some deep BDSM kings. What I've heard is that, what I've heard is, and again, I don't know, but is that he was like, he found women who weren't that well-versed in BDSM and then would just use them in that way. A person, but pretty aggressively. So like, you know, there's a way to do BDSM, which is consensual, and you kind of talk about it beforehand. Whereas he's just gone, I'm gonna smash your head against the wall out of nowhere, and these girls, you know, that's, you can't do that. - Yeah, that wasn't what they led with. - No, because obviously the headline grabber is "I'm 100% a cannibal." (laughing) - Let's hear what you're saying. - Let's go to army. - So, it's this. This was a very intense affair. Very sexually charged between two people with very similar proclivities, and kinks, and any of those conversations that we had inside of that relationship. When you take them outside of that context and put them into broad daylight. - It's like a vase. - Doesn't look so good. - It's, you know, it's-- - You know, if you understand that people leak to our face with message. You know, it's like, it's a context. We were in a very intense relationship, you know, we have some very-- - We've had a lot of time together. - We don't mean all of the slurs that you've said. - We don't mean-- - We need to be judged on that shit. - Yeah. - No, I guess I'm 100% things, you know. - If there's nothing, if it's got nothing to do with a lack of consent, or some, or him doing anything dodgy to a woman without consent, then who fucking cares? - Well, these text messages, who fucking cares? I agree. The issue is that there seems to be people coming out. But on, if it's just on that point, I completely agree with you. - Yeah, yeah. - There were rape fantasies. Is your position that all of this was just role play? That it was, it may be offensive to people to hear about this and to read about it. But it's kind of BDSM kinky sex role play. It's not actually meant to be-- - There's more to say than that. - They can seriously, is you wanting to rape her? Or to be a cannibal? Is that your argument about the way all this-- - I think, yeah, that would be the worst time to say rape, Shmate. - There's, there's hardly time. But this is probably the worst. Rape, Shmate, yes. Cannibalism, cannibalism, schmanibalism. It's, it's in the moment, it's not quite, you know, the connotations are different. Rape, Shmate, cannibalism, schmanibalism. - Jesus Christ. - He's no, he's got some hardcore kings and no one should be canceled for that. It's whether he's practiced that in a consensual environment, sorry to be boring. - I think there's just something sacred about the text messages as well. It's just gotta be like, in general. - Saying, you know, half of the shit I say on text, I never do. - Yeah. Wait, wait, in Marshall, another woman identified only as F.E. came forward to come and buy a lawyer to accuse the movie star of raping and beating her over a four-hour period. Not that good. - Not that good. That's why he's so, look. - Fair enough. - That's why I'm trying to bring some balance because there is a lot of quite dark shit against it. - Sure, sure. - And it's not just text messages. - Fine. - It's just sort of like, born out of a desire to sort of like, I want you so completely and I want you so totally that it's almost like I want to eat you. But I don't think that's any different than when someone looks at a baby and goes, oh my God, look at those cute little fat legs. I just want to eat you up. Like. - Let's pause for that. - Okay. - That's sounding like the answer is cannibal. Now look, we've defended him very loosely for a second. But if I was to ask that question to a cannibal, I think they might say that. - You know, it's like-- - It's no different to wanting to eat a baby. - Yeah. That is like moral, that's like the, let's get to safer ground. - It's like, no, it's like just because it was sexual. It's not bad. It's like you, it's like you, it's like when you want to eat babies. You know when you want to eat babies? Yeah. - I think when you're talking about like graphic sexual kinks, I just don't think bring up babies into the conversation with their fat legs. - He's actually one of the few people who have been canceled for not being a pedophile. - So just avoid the baby conversation. Just keep it fucking there. - Well, but he's clearly got a kink for it. And there is a difference, the kinks are kinks. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - Like if he says it on, it's just like a weird kind of half role play thing, then that's fine. As long as he doesn't eat someone, I guess. - Yeah, I'm 100% accountable. I just jumping off that line being like guaranteed. - Yeah, he's done, that's a bad job there that he's done. Being like, it's not the same, it's well, I don't know. Girls, you've had girlfriends who bite you, okay? - Yeah, but. - But that's because there's like gritting or something where you're like, "Ah!" - But what are we talking about now? - Well, that's what he's saying. He's saying that I said it in that way because, you know, it's like the same thing that some girls have where they just like go like, 'cause there's love, it's an expression of love. - That stuff's all fine. I guess the rape allegations, it feels like we're just gonna go back to the boring old. - Yeah. - No, it wasn't, whoa, yeah, it was. - Yeah, it was, right. So, as is gonna happen for these four episodes, we're gonna end on a Q and A with questions for the public. - This is from you. - This is from me. - This is from me. - This is a straight, he come dancing. - Hi boys, love the pod. So basically, I have a sugar daddy and he pays me pretty well, like every month. - Love you. - And we meet like once a month. But, I'm thinking, should I get a second one, just in case he decides not to see me anymore, or like, you know, his wife finds out whatever. Should I get a second one as a backup? Thank you, love the pod. - The obvious question is, why not? - Yeah, I mean, it's a 30 second voice note, but I wanted maybe two minutes. There's a lot of context. - There's a lot of questions. - Yeah, it depends what situation you're in. You're clearly you want a sugar daddy. - The answer is, why not? - Yeah, definitely. - Why not? Are you feeling like, oh, I couldn't possibly have another sugar daddy, I don't, why are you getting kicked into it? - Got the count, right? - Yeah, but it's like, you've crossed that bridge. - You've crossed that bridge, chef. - But, do you know, it's funny being that I couldn't possibly have another sugar daddy. You know, you've already crossed that bridge. - That made me a 40 slap. (laughing) - Go for it. - If you've got one sugar daddy, then you can-- - You might as well have a billion, 'cause that'll be your same. - It's like, yeah, no, it's-- - It's a transactional relationship to chuck another, you know. - What would the issue be? - The, is it a loyalty thing? - Okay, so what are you gonna have to do as well? Because that was a very juicy voice note where-- - We're gonna need more. - You had us wanting more. I think-- - Yeah. - Feel free to send-- - Well, that's why she's such a good sugar baby. - Exactly. (laughing) Send in more voice notes with updates of how this is going. - It's true. - Even outside of admitted Q&A episodes, we'll keep this going. - We're interested. - If this-- - I've serialized narrative. - Sugar baby journey. If there's any sugar babies and any sugar daddy's that listen to this is astonishing that you haven't already voice noted as telling us about everything. - Now, did she say if his wife finds out or if he has a wife? - Did you hear wife? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, if his wife finds out. - Oh! - Yeah, it's good stuff. - We run. - Let's get one here again. - Yeah, sorry, I didn't hear the wife. I was too busy being gassed that we had a sugar baby that listens to the podcast. 'Cause that's fun, that's fodder. Not your problem, he's got a wife. - Yeah. - That's his problem. - Yeah. - The question still is why the heck not? Why wouldn't you? - Yeah. - The only issue you-- - No, she's flagged that she doesn't lose her income stream. - Yeah, we're-- - That's what she's wearing. - All we are is accountants in this situation. - Exactly. - And my question is get as many sugar daddies as possible that you can maintain. - Richard Branson said, my dad has a lot of Richard Branson books and I remember I think one of the quotes I saw was don't have all your eggs in one basket. Diversify your investments. - Put that in a sugar daddy contest, please. - So don't have all your old man's testicles in one hand. - That's exactly correct. That's exactly what it should be. Don't have all your old old don't have all your-- - I don't know that quite work. - Don't have all your-- No, it does. It works perfectly. Don't have all your old man's testicles in one hand. Because otherwise what if your hand falls then you're gonna be lost. You need as many old man balls as you can in multiple hands, spread diversification. - My bigger point is it's an incredibly transactional world, sugar daddy, sugar babies. So don't, if you've made that jump, then don't overthink that side too much. - There's only two issues why you wouldn't. A, you're worried about the morality because he has a wife. Who cares? He's the one who's doing it. And like, or-- - She cares. - Maybe she does. Well then-- - But then that's-- - Then that's-- - You've made that jump anyway. - Then you've made that jump anyway. That's fair. There's three actually. The other one is that you wanna stay loyal to this guy because he's done you well, he pays you monthly, et cetera, et cetera. He's got a wife. - He's your sugar daddy. - He's not staying loyal to you. - You're a sugar daddy. You can, you're allowed to go and do your thing. You can be a great sugar baby to multiple daddies. - Yeah. - We all are. And then thirdly, the other option is that you don't have enough time to maintain it. You're only seeing one. This is the start of your sugar baby empire. Get as many as you can. - So, diversify your portfolio is what is-- - Diversify the portfolio. Get as many balls in hands as possible. - Right. So this one is from Lizzy Herds. Thank you very much for sending in. It's great when the girls send in. The girls have great voice-- - And the girls have better questions than the guys. The guys are what's funnier and no more a bum. (laughs) - Hey guys. So, I've been seeing this guy. Hate to say it, I think he might potentially be more into me than me and to him. - I love that. - Great in this act. I have a great time. However, I can't tell if I maybe I'm just not really into him/have the ick or if potentially I am just getting really strong post-nut clarity, potentially long term. And I love the pod. Cheers. - Bye. - Right, but okay, Lizzy. Straight off the bat, if you're saying any of this, it's 100% true. If it's a problem now, it'll only get worse. - I've never had-- - If you're saying, I think I might have the ick, you do have the ick. - An endless state of post-nut clarity means you should-- - It's the end of the question. - There's a slight denial about how you already feel. If you're describing it as a post-nut clarity as in, it's sort of like an unreason state. If it's endless, it's actually how you feel. - It's like post-nut clarity, like, you know how you feel ashamed of yourself when you've come-- - And you find him gross. - And find him disgusting. Imagine that, but it's all the time. What should I do? - You know what to do, Lizzy. - You know what to do. - Thanks for sending in. That was a great voice note, but-- - Charlie, do you agree? Let's go to our-- - Charlie, but built into the voice note was the answer. You had peppered it. - Do you agree? - Yeah, actually, I mean, I don't know what to do, but if you use the word post-nut clarity, that is quite a vibe. - Yeah. - We have 30 seconds to choose from, and all of the information you gave about him was you. If maybe you haven't realized it yourself-- - I hate him, he makes me feel shit. - He's disgusting. - He's disgusting. - He's grim. - Well, he's more into me than I'm into him. He's good at the sack. - He's good at the sack. - Well, then just, you know, pump and dump the-- - Pump and dump the cunt. (laughing) Pump and dump the cunt. - You know, have a good time. - Yeah, well, I mean, at the same time, I mean, you know, if he's good in the sack and you're not looking for anything long to stay with that for a bit if you want. - Right. - But it sounds like you hate him. - Live on air. (beeping) - No! - Who sent another voice out? - Leap sent another voice. - Sorry. - Live on air, bleep sent another voice. We're in. The voice, no. - I guess the plus side is, like, obviously, you know, more money and cool experiences, but then the negative is that I just have to spend ages vetting these people, trying to work out. Are they cool people? Do I want to spend time with them? Are they worth it? Or are they just creepy and weird? And then that's the whole whole just annoying process. And then also, what if my current guy finds out? You know, so, but then what if he leaves me and then I'm just, I mean, I work a normal job. So, like, I'll be fine in that regard, but I don't know. - I'd like to go wrong. - So, it's something that the screening process, the onboarding process of these sugar daddies is a lot more complex than we would obviously expect. - Yeah. - So, I guess it's actually-- - Yeah, that's weak. That was our stupid dog. - That was our stupid baby brain. - Stupid dog, that was our stupid baby brain. (laughing) - Fuck, man. - Why are you so stupid? - It was our stupid non-sugar baby brains, but didn't realize there's a lot of sunk costs. There's a lot of behind the scenes work that goes on to actually acquiring a new one. - Yeah, 'cause it's easy to just see how much sugar babies are getting paid. You're like, "Oh, that's bloody easy, but you don't know about." - Yeah, because if we went out and tried to find a sugar daddy, we'd be-- - It's a (beep) - We'd be a list set of skills. - You can't believe that, sorry. (laughing) - This is not patron, this is me. - Yeah, that's a particular set of skills that have been developed are a high value to a certain group of individuals. - Sorry, yeah. - But a certain group of individuals. - Yes, agree. So, what you need to think is I could do you a graph if you send me your email, is you've got to work out how much time we need a time, we need the cost benefit analysis essentially. How much time is it gonna take to find a good sugar daddy? Hey, you've done it before. - Yeah. - You've done it before, you know what it takes to do. So, if you have enough time to sift through, sift the wheat from the chaff? - Split. - Split. - And what's the, is the wheat a bad sugar daddy in the chaff a good one? - Yeah, the wheat's good and the chaff's bad. Would be in the saying. - So, you need to find the chaff. - You need to find the wheat. - The wheat's good. - The wheat's good. - The wheat's good says Charlie. - He's actually a farmer. - He didn't, he didn't even Google that. - You mean what? - So, yeah, you know what it takes to find one. If you've got the time for it, do it. - Yeah. - You're only negative, well, well that was, that was the negative about it being difficult for her to find one, but the other one being that, what does he feel? What does her original sugar daddy feel about it? What would you say to that? - Sorry, just, she's messaged this is not a voice note. She says, yes, my current guy is amazing. We both read a lot. So, she likes her current guy. - But it's, do you want this to move to a sugar daddy to a real relationship? - I don't know, I think, maybe. - I wasn't asking you. (laughing) - Do you have, is this you? Are you running out? Are you three? Are you running out doing this? Or are you just asking me for your opinion but you're too worried to ask? - I'm glad you asked Andrew. - He does make me feel safe. - I don't know, it's interesting. The whole sugar baby thing is interesting 'cause you don't know if, who's getting exploited. - Yeah. - I mean, I don't think the man's not getting exploited. - Someone doesn't necessarily have to be. - No, that's what I mean. It does seem like, I think it can frustrate a lot of people who maybe can't be sugar babies. But- - Here we go. It's not gonna value again. - But it does seem pretty mutually beneficial. I guess the only thing is because you're a young woman, you might not know the emotional ramifications of this sort of relationship at this stage in life and you might only find that out. - That's a good point. And I think if you're getting into a place where you're worrying about your sugar daddy's feelings too much that you might not get another one means that maybe you're getting a bit close to your current sugar daddy. - Yeah, I think you need to be a bit of a cold hearted bitch. I think disconnect a little bit from the sugar daddy. It sounds like he's amazing. You both read a lot. - Remember why you're in it? - Yeah, you're in it. - You're in it for the cash money. - It's cash money. - We recently did something for money that we hated and we're not gonna do it again. (laughing) But we did it for the cash. - We did it for the money. - We did it for the money and we will do it again. But we'll remember why we're in it and we're gonna do loads more. - We're gonna do loads more. We're gonna do it every time we're asked to do something for cash. - The cash we're gonna do it. But we're not in it because of the emotional connection that we have with Foxy Bingo. We're doing it because he won the money. (laughing) I think that's a good place to end it. - Yeah, thanks so much for listening, guys. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)