The boys are back from Glastonbury where Andrew controlled his bowels for once but gave his curse to Bebe. We also talk Coldplays headline set and the Biden/Trump debate.
Boys Gone Wild
Boys Gone Wild | Episode 229: Glastonbury
(upbeat music) - Hello and welcome back to another episode of "Boys Gone Wild", the post-glastonbury special. - Happy to be here. - Andrew is happy to be here. - This is what I want to be doing. - Yes, Andrew is fresh as a daisy. It hasn't affected him at all. - Glastonbury splash him. - It's like he didn't even go. - He's been the whole time in his tent studying. - Studying at the rules of the law. - He took a giant tome of the laws of the land. - I had a realisation mark there. But fuck this lifestyle. I'm ready for a change. - And he's been-- - And now I want to call himself to pass the law. And I'm probably gonna pass the bar in a year. - You're not coming out, Andrew, no. - Right? Not today, you fuck heads. Couldn't stop saying fuck heads at Glastonbury. - What's that? - This is my word of the festival. - Word of the festival, fuck heads. - Pulling everyone a fuck head. - Not the funnest word of the festival, I guess. - A lot of people's word of the festival is like peace of love. - Yeah, something like that, fuck head. - Fuck head. - So, obviously, last time you went to Glastonbury, you shut your brains out. - Well, I did a couple of poops in my pants. So you shut my brains out. No, I did, I shut my brains out. - You arrived. - Shut 25 times and left. - Left, poon, no, fuck's that. - So last time you arrived, use the toilets. (laughing) - I honestly, I actually did visit the toilets more than I visited stages. - Yeah, yeah. - This time flipped the other way. - This time, so how was it this time? (laughing) - She's all right. - I'm in a very bad state, I was fine. We're doing a podcast a day late because I couldn't do it yesterday, just couldn't do it. But I was fine on, usually I'm like Monday's hell. Tuesday's bad, and then Wednesday you're kind of back. Where is it's flipped it for me this year for some reason? Where is Monday, Tuesday, absolutely fine. Kind of live in the dream. I was like shit, I've avoided everything. And then Wednesday I was like, why can't I stop? I was like falling asleep and like spazzling. And then, just feeling dizzy in my own house going, what's going on? - You got any sleep paralysis or anything like that? - No, but I had like the most insane, I had like 10 insane dreams last night because I kept waking up being like, can I just go back and have a normal dream? - Nightmares. - Nightmares. (screaming) - What am I? (laughing) - Hell's like, what the fuck is going on? I was like, yeah, I don't know. - Do you remember any of them? - Oh, one of them I just went through like a guy's entire life from birth to death. (laughing) And I was just like, whoa, that was the first one. And I woke up at like 11 p.m. And being like, there's a lot more to come with that. (laughing) - Weirdly, I kept being a girl. - Who was the guy? - I don't know. - But it was like, you know? - Did you see him die? - You know, Rick and Morty where they go and there's like a game at that alien arcade where they go in and you can become, you've like lived someone's life. - Yeah. - It was that. I just lived someone's life and he died. - Did he have a good life? - No. (laughing) - It was terrible. - It was terrible. - There's some reason I kept in three of them. - Oh, there's, I've just remembered to follow them. - In three of them I kept scamming people. I was like a scam artist. I have no idea why, but I was like, I was trying to con people out there. - That's an actual box. - Advice, I don't know if there's something might you be reflecting on like, is this just a kind of legitimate scam? - Yeah, maybe I was trying to like empathize with the scammers themselves. - Which is why it'd be so mental. - But the, the other one I was intimately involved with the production of Kill Tony. - Really? - That makes more sense. - Yeah, that makes less sense. - Let's have a jump. - You're putting them all out. - Oh yeah. - You've already fell asleep watching more like a genuine dream. (laughing) - No, but I, and then it never happened, right? - Were you a producer? - Yeah, I was-- - Or you were on stage. - Both. I was a producer, but I was like-- - But you're also a cameo. - Okay. - It was a real marketing situation. - You're like a crew, you're a member of the crew, you're working cameras and stuff. - No, I was more like a executive producer. I was like, you know, the direction of the show. What we wanted to do with it. We had to move venues-- - Maybe a light, Tony. - My uncle was there. (laughing) - Was it? (laughing) - I don't know why. - But it never happened. It kept going on and I was like, why is the show not starting? And it was like 4M and I was like-- - Well, it was your job. - I know, but Tony was being a nightmare. (laughing) I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna go home. I don't know why we're still here. - Yeah. - So now, it's slightly better than yesterday. The recovery is better, but there was an hour before we was in the podcast. I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen. - How bad is it on the scale of, you know, one to bad? - Oh, that's a top scale to work with. 'Cause if I say seven, what does that mean, really? - Let's go. - Yesterday, it was like a seven. I had to take myself on a walk for the first time in my life. - Really? - You know, I'm not a walker, but I was like, I need, I need to go on a walk. So I went on a walk. - Like when you take an old person around the ground, you just do a couple of laps, just get some fresh-- - Getting onto a stick. That isn't even touching the ground. I was like, well, I just went on a walk. But we went to the new house that we're moving into. All right, so that was handy. So, well, if I've taken myself out for a walk, I had four hours sleep just in the day. - Yeah. - Kind of, yeah, felt dizzy, like bugging out of it. - You know, a parent paranoia, no paranoia, just like spazzling. How about you? How are you? - I'm good, I got away with murder at mastery, especially considering it was contrasted. - Couldn't you kill? - Just keep going, ignore me, let's keep going. - Ignore most of the things I'm gonna say. - I killed Banksy. - Banksy? - No one's gonna know. - No one's gonna know. - So, it's the best. - I got away with murder. - Yeah, it's like, he was just doing that refugee boat thing. He did an idol, and I just, I gave him one, and no one knew who he was, no one did. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a good move. - But, yeah, I actually, I was very, I basically, I slept great during the whole festival. - Yeah, so did I. - I did, and that was kind of the backbone, 'cause a lot of people who I was hanging out with would, like, Patty and Beebe were fucked most of the time. They could not, they had slept terribly. - Yeah, yeah. - But, I mean, Beebe, you passed the Holy Ghost to her. You know, it was from one to another. - I passed the ship at all. - Exactly. Well, have you seen it follows? Do you know that-- - No, no. - It follows is where there's like a demon that you have to get out of your body and give it to someone else to stop yourself from dying. And I think that's what's gonna happen with the glass and recurse. So, last time, obviously, Andrew arrived. - How many times have we said this sort of fucking shot? - I arrived. - I think, like, 100. - Did 25 ships and a ride? - I pooed left. (laughing) I pooed left. - And then-- - I'm expelling up my life. - We're all watching Andrew saying, "Is he gonna do us again?" - It was a bit fucking annoying, yeah. - "Is he gonna be round two?" - I was just trying to-- - I was just trying to enjoy a little sentence when everyone was going. - "Is he gonna do it again?" - Yeah, to do it, yeah. - And then, it's always the ones you least expect. Little do we know that the curse was passed on to Beebe. - I want to Beebe. - Or Beebe got absolutely fucked. And I know she'll hate me talking about her, but it is too relevant. She shot her brains out as well. (laughing) - It seems to be a horrible tradition in our group that one of us has to do. - Pour the-- - Use the facilities heavily. - I mean, Beebe, she was ill going in, but then had a good night on Thursday, managed a good night on Friday, felt awful Friday day, and then Saturday night had maybe the most traumatic clapping of her entire life. - Yeah. - By the way, I had the best night. 'Cause I'd said goodbye to her and say, "I'll go." - That's why you had the best night. - I put it to bed, I was like, "You'll be fine." She looked like she was gonna be fine, and then I went and had the biggest night, I had the whole of Glastonbury, carefree, in love with the world, came back, she's still awake, she is in the most pain she's ever been in. And also, we were camping in the same place we camped last time in Derry Ground when you shot your brains out. - Yeah, there it is. (laughing) - So keep it talent. - And something that was really, really unfortunate for poor baby, is she didn't realize where the near a toilet was. - I don't think I would have actually killed myself. - So she had the same experience you did, but at least you were walking off the distance. - At least I checked where the toilet was. I was aware that I'd probably be using the facilities a fair amount of times that evening. I did a quick look around to see. - A recu. - But yeah, they watched, she was using work. They're the worst toilet to glance. - And they're like, so far away. - And they're so perfect. - And she went like 12 times. - They're so public. They're right by the entrance, and everyone coming in to Derryground from the festival goes through that. And they're, you know, there's cubes for those toilets in the middle of the night. - And just on Saturday night, just one a.m. two a.m. three a.m. four a.m. - Disaster. - Absolute disaster. - Well, I'm glad someone had it. Well, now we share a bond. - Exactly, and if we go again, it's me and Elle, it's between us. - It's between you two. (laughing) Between you two. I'm hoping for you, I think. - I don't know, is this just our friend group? - I don't know, if you have a big group that goes to glass to reach. - She got a stomach bug, by the way. Before she left. - Yes. - Which is, is that the-- - That's what you happened to you as well. - That's exactly what happened to me. - Yeah. - I don't know. - But I don't know if she did, because stomach bugs come on the next day, and she didn't have it on Thursday or Friday. - Well, she was already ill going in, but that wasn't salt buggy. - Yeah. - So if this was something else, more for something else. - I guess it's not a bug. - Or she got something else. - Yeah, a couple of days later, 'cause mine was when swimming swallowed the pool water. - If you swallow, if you swallow poopy pool water, it's so much shit, so much shit. - Oh, you have to. - We have to. - We didn't think we'd have to. - Give us a minute. - This isn't, this isn't, this isn't indulgent. This is recounting. - This is, this is journalism actually. So I, yeah, you know, you swallow poopy pool. - Andrew drank the poopy pool. - And the poopy pool water immediately. - Flush. - Oh yeah, so that was the next day kind of thing, which I'm kind of happy with, I guess, although, yeah. - So you'd expect that the next day, but I guess, you know, there are some ones that can come on a couple of days later. - So it was weird that we both got stomach bugs before. - Yeah, it's odd. - I have a terrible record of this anyway. I like got chicken pox before. - You get it all the time. - When I'm going to things I want to go to. - You're always fucked. - It's so annoying. - You'd be spreading festival 'cause you're, - Missed with Lauren Jydis. - Aaron Jydis. - Did you hear of Lauren Jydis? - Autolitis. - Yeah. - And they missed another one 'cause it's Autolitis. And then when I was younger, I went skiing, and then I got, I had chicken pox. - Yeah. - I got chicken pox in a chalet, and then, yeah. - Oh boo hoo. - Oh boo hoo. - Oh boo hoo. - There's a middle part, three. - Chicken pox in a chalet. - I was killed for chicken pox in a chalet. - Chicken pox in a chalet, fuck off. - You're a bunch of dickheads. - So this time, a lot better. - Yeah. - Had a great time. I got away with murder as well. - Well you're not getting away with it now. - No. - Now you'll be. - You've been caught. - The police are caught, I'm firmly locked in a cell right now. - With no sunshine inside. - This is how Capone, you thought it got away with it, and they got you on a technicality. - Yeah. - I feel better now that we're doing the pot. I think the anticipation of doing the podcast, feeling loopy, I was like-- - I get incredibly nervous before doing this pot. - Every time. - It's like, if you guys-- - You're looking right at us. - It's the pressure you put on us. - Well, I just didn't, I don't want to f***ing spasm at some pot to feel like. But, yeah, no, this time was, yeah. - Quiet, I've got to wait a minute, slept well. - Yeah, slept amazingly. - Slept really well, which was handy. - I mean, poor pad in the worst tent in the world, slept terribly the whole, and every time he-- - Could he not fit in it? - Not really fit. 'Cause every time his tent was on our tent, it was on our tent, and every time I came back, I was like, there's no way he's in that. Because I never believed, I never, there was one night where we kept him up 'cause he was talking for fucking ages. 'Cause there was part of me, I was like, there's no way he's in that tent. The guy can't fit in there. - The guy can't fit in that tent. - It was a coffin, it was literally a coffin. - It was a bismal. Oh, slept well was, yeah, didn't, you know, kind of, a bit bleak in the morning, but not too bleak, and after, it was the least food I've ever eaten in my life. One meal a day. - Really? - One meal a day. - That's not the right way to approach it, isn't it? - It's a terrible way to do it. - It's not bragging. (laughing) - It's not bragging. - Well, you're like intermittent faster. - Yeah. - It's more than intermittent faster. It was, I would not eat for a solid 24 hours. - Why not? - I don't know. Just kind of forgot. - Yeah. - And then I wasn't that hungry. - But I'd wait, or you'd have breakfast at like 11. - And then you would. - When I'd say breakfast, you know, a festival is like a burrito, or a noodle. - Yeah, dude, a festival breakfast. - We do breakfast. - Fuck's cereal or a glass dough. - Every time I blow it. - Every time I blow it. - Every time I blow it in a burrito of breakfast I'm like. - I'm like, this is so glass to breakfast. - This is so glass to breakfast. - I think that's what we get. - Any matter. (laughing) - Paul, Paulk for breakfast. (laughing) Hot take, food shit, a glass and brew. - Okay. - So it looks like, and I said, oh, it's great. We can enjoy all that food at Glastonbury. - Yeah. - When I was going there. And then people like. - But you don't eat that much food, so. - No, well, I have previously. - I'm not exactly the best person to do this 'cause I had four meals in four days. But it looks good because you're like, wow, look at all these lovely things. - Look at these options. - Look at these options, and it's always like, well, that was average. Very average food there. Burrito, average. Noodles, average pizza, average, and whatever I had on the last day, average. It's like, it's because obviously. - No, there's some good stuff. I had some good stuff. - The souvlaki is the only, like, six thing there. What do you have? - In the forest when you speak. - There you go. Yeah, because you're too busy, like, wanking off hippies. They're probably giving you their special secret formula. - There's a place in the forest where it's just run by stinky hippies, right? Yeah. - Well, it's like a commune. This is in the forest, just like. - Why should I have very different festival experiences? He's literally prancing around with the hippies. - You're prancing around with the hippies. Like, it's like, we've got to see this guy. It's always like, we've got to do this, we've got to do this. Oh, these guys incredible, we've got to do this. (laughing) We cannot list this. - Lots of ratios like sitting around with the insets around the guy. - Well, there's a ratio as I am. What do you got? A cliche that he always ends up in is a place called the stone circle. - Yeah, the magic stone circle. - The magic stone circle, which is-- - I end up again my day, I begin my day there and end my day there. I'd never been there and never had any desires to go there because I'm always at the music at this time. But then-- - This is after the music's basically ended. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - It's like five, four, five. - It's music till six, man. - Yeah, forever. - If you're out, you're out. But no, so it was very busy, we'll get to that. It was very busy this year, so we couldn't get into one place. So we were looking around for someone to do. And then Elle was like, why don't we go to the stone circle, see if our ratios are like, fuck it. - It's one night we chose not to go to the stone circle. - Let's go, it was the one night you didn't get. - One night you didn't go. So it's just me looking around terrified. - Yeah, it's the crusty speed from the world. - It is like, I want to get out with here immediately. It's just every what it is, is a group of hippies. And we couldn't-- And it's just like-- - Was anyone playing bongos? - Of course. - Gentle, just about playing bongos. So you know, it's like the minimum of what music could be. - It's not really music though, it's more of like a spiritual-- - Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. But then, so you think, oh, I guess this is like, faux spirituality in a way. The problem is, is that the music is intersected every 30 seconds by a nuss fucking canister. - And you should try one of those nuss balloons. - No. - 'Cause we've tried many different nuss balloons in our life and I'd have a single there and it'd always be the most intense drug spirits I've ever had in my entire life. It must be at the end of a big night. - The stone circle is the most-- - I think it's the most-- - It's the least favorite destination to have the most intense drug experience I've ever had. - It must be the power of the engine. - That's how you get sucked in. - It must be the power of the engine. I don't know what it is. - The power of the engine. - I don't know what it puts though. Nothing into those balloons. - It's probably normal shit. - Yeah, but then we'd do it and all six of us would have the exact same trip, which was within the space for a minute you become everyone and then slowly you slowly become you and you're like, "Wait, I'm not me." And then slowly it becomes like high definition. Like, "Oh, I've been this guy the whole," and you're like, "They're become livid that you've been you the whole." Yeah, just complete ego death. - Look, that's quite it. (laughing) - If I'm honest, I don't want that in 6-hour capacity. I don't want to come from my garage drama base. (laughing) - I am myself, I'm I? No, I want to go back to the tent and have a cry. Yeah, no, it was terrifying. I think 'cause we were kind of finished at the night anyway. We did a circle of it and I was like, "We need to leave, we need to leave immediately." - Yeah, it was too busy this year. - Yeah, it was too busy this year. - So, I missed a lot. 'Cause a lot of times you didn't want to queue for myself. - I missed like four or five, like my top 10. - Yeah. - Which is a bit of massive shame. - Yeah. - Four or-- - I mean, who rumped every time which I respected, you know? - I what? - If you missed something, you rumped. - What does that mean? - You were grumpy every time you missed something. - You didn't see me every night. I did, I grumped on Saturday night, I had a mad bump. I was genuinely depressed. 'Cause it was Saturday night and I was like, well, I felt like I hadn't seen any fucking music. - Yeah. - 'Cause on Friday night-- - Do you see Sammy Beardgie? - Yes. - On which night? - The last night. - The last night made up for everything. - Yeah. - But on Thursday night, they'd oversold it. It was busy as shit, very clearly. I mean, we'd be in a couple of times. It was way more busy than it has been. I spoke to George L's brother, who's been fucking loads. And he was like, this is insane. It's the busiest he's ever seen it. Too busy. But there was, so everything happens in the southeast corner on the evenings as well as the dance music goes on. So I always go there. And on Friday, it was like my top one, some of my top two I wanted to see were on a, I think like midnight or one. And I was like, let's get there in an hour early so we can get in. It was all fine to the stage. We needed a stage to be busy. But then we got there and I was like, oh no, the whole southeast corner's closed. We couldn't get in. That's like, what? 70 stages, 50 stages where most of the shit happens in the evening. Just couldn't get in. For the whole evening, which was fucking, which is bad. That was really bad. So then we were just kind of wandering around and I was like, you know, we were in like a salsa tent at like two AM and I was like, no. No. Look at that dude. I was like, where's a booty booty booty booty booty booty? But then you go into different tents where there's like, you know, the glass to rehouse DJs all the way. So I'm like, why am I listening to this brand? What do you mean, like, like what's on tap? Yeah, it's exactly, it's like the house brewery. And I was sipping on the house brewery when I could be having like fucking Guinness. Well, just the guy who's there all year round. Oh, there's just the guy there. There's DJ in there now. Exactly. It was like, I don't know, why are you? Why I'm not here for this guy? And then just like, you know, salsa stuff. It was obviously fun, but then I was just like, this isn't good enough. And then Saturday I probably swapped out. Yeah. Because couldn't, but there was like cues to get into different tents, which I've never liked. There was a tent. I was just getting to my tent. Oh, yeah. Are you implying amongst some sort of Jigolo service? Don't know how you take, we take it. But you will. Are you going to have that impression? I think it's a bumhole service. Sure. You can have that. That's your type of position. You're the bumhole of the tent. Whatever it is. Men were piling in. It's so busy. Oh, this is so busy. Why is there such a bumhole? It's so busy. So no, because they were like, it's on the first day. I wanted to go see MJ Cole, something else called Garage Guy. And it was, it's in like a bar. It's called the Stone Bridge Bar, which is a big tent. But there was like, you had to cue to get into there. Like there's like metal, metal railings. It was too busy. So this loads of stuff, which is annoying, but it's still, still good stuff for some day made up for it. Did you find a glass of repolitically motivated to become more left-wing with all the signs? I'd become more left-wing. I was definitely less left-wing then. 100%. 100%. What do you think about the activism at Glastonbury? Fine. Well, it's just every coffee shop you go to is like free Burma. It's like, all right. Oh, great. You know, 'cause it's just, it's free everywhere. Would you buy like a bacon bath in Italy? Well, I didn't even realize that was an issue, but sure. Yeah, I mean, well, it's part of the free life and all that stuff, which is more your fucking hippie speed in the forest. It's true. There's much of it because I'm at the stages with, you know. Well, there's one tent which was the nuclear disarmament tent, which is right next to the-- Yeah, weirdly, I didn't hit that. Which is next to like one which is trying to stop like a local lake being polluted. So it's like the biggest issue in the most local issue. But a nuclear disarmament tent, their big thing is it's an accident waiting to happen, which I feel is too small a statement when you're talking about nuclear weapons, as if it's like a ledge that has not got a softer ending. Was there a bit? Well, it's like an accident waiting to happen. We can't have nuclear weapons, that is just an accident. Right, they're concerned that someone's going to push the button. Yeah, it's an accident waiting to happen. Yeah, it's like Chernobyl. Yeah, and then on the Thursday, I performed at Nomad at like a really, like, I guess like kind of left-wing speaker's event thing, which has been like, you know, the shout out, "Daddy fucking price for putting me, Patti and Sam on." And it was fun, but yeah, it was just, the whole thing was just sort of like, fuck the Tories. Yeah. But there was nothing else. Yeah, I wasn't there, so I didn't, I was on my way to the festival at this point. So I don't really know what exactly happened. It was just a lot of like, the Tories bad, God, aren't they rubbish? Yeah, there isn't a lot of nuances. It just didn't feel like there was anything being said. Bloody rubbish, all those stories. What I don't like is like all the people walking around, there was like guys walking around with like, a funeral, as a funeral procession for the Tories. And like, you know, David Cameron, Marce, and Rishi's Marce. I'm like, "It just enjoyed the festival, yeah. "It's just enjoy yourself." And when you pack that, like, yeah, it's over. And then it goes, it's so hot in there. And they carry it around the coffin. What point do you guys think, "Oh, that's enough?" Yeah. "Just got me to enjoy yourself." I just also think that's the point. And what's the point? Preaches to the choir, yeah, but it's like, what are we doing, guys? There'll be both of us all to go around like, you know, fuck labor. I'm weirdly, I would be like, fair fucking play to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if there's like a Tory MP canvassing, you know, like a fair fuck. Let's go through it, why the fuck not? Yeah, no, I didn't really. What do you think about Banksy's powerful piece? Was he deaf any Banksy? It was Banksy, yeah. So he teamed up with Idols. Idols, and apparently Idols kept stopping, like, kept doing like round of applause for like the NHS and trans people and stuff. Which also, it just does, it's just like Ukraine. I just find it. Yeah, no, that's brilliant. 'Cause it should be, that's brilliant, yeah. It should be a bit of a fucking break from everything. It was like, you know, I want to, you know, get drunk. I'll give you some peace and loves, you know. Yeah, oh yeah. The Tories are rubbish. I know, I know, I know. Obviously. I know, but like, I'm trying to, I'm trying to watch a D and B.D. chain. I don't need to know. Yeah, well, it's a bit, again, I think it's like a bit of an unnecessary reminder of everything that it's like, I know that we're having a fun time, but remember it's shit. And also it's not doing anything. It doesn't do anything. The banshee thing as well, it didn't, I don't know if it, it didn't feel very tasteful. I don't think it was tasteful. 'Cause it's like, they're crowd surfing. Yeah, they're having a great time. It's like, whoa. It's been one of a bit good in a small boat. It was a bit like, yeah, I was like, let's jump on a small boat, that looks great. Yeah, so what's the message is? That people are struggling or boats? Yeah. Well, we're here at idols. Well, is that the kind of point that, well then it's like, are you stinking or fucked up? They're actually shaming us. Yeah. I don't know. It was a little dista, I don't know. I did. It's just banxing noise. Like, what, did he have a big smirk on when he did it? Or was he like, what's his facial expression when he, they're gonna fucking love that? Yeah, mate. Or, well, isn't it good to just remind people of this situation? I was like, do we have to be reminded, maybe at that point? Me and Andrew together did definitely see the headline act Coldplay. Which I actually have a lot of thoughts about Coldplay, which was basically the big act of the whole festival. Yeah, biggest crowd, I think. Yeah, biggest crowd. And it was a thrill, I've watched so many videos of Coldplay play live, especially in South America. It was a thrill to get a taste of that. Yeah. Everyone had wristbands. wristbands on. And so my feelings were going into it. It was like, it's so easy to hate on Coldplay. Everyone likes to out, like they're above it. Oh, and they throw Coldplay in with like, Nickelback has just been the kind of generic shit band. I'm like, they're not that bad. I think you should stop being so cool and enjoy, let's all get together and enjoy something. And I was ready for that. Then they open with yellow, great tune. They had fucking signed. Basically, they had like five bangers back to back. And it was like, this is pretty fucking amazing. This is pretty gnarly, yeah. And they also felt, it seems so comfortable up there. It felt the most professional. Well, it was crazy, they were just throws, yeah. They did the whole festival. It was like they didn't, they're not even thinking about it. It didn't phase them whatsoever. Because all over every headline, they basically cried. Yeah, it's a moment of like, this is huge, but it was-- It was like a, it was like a, you could, he was almost bored, but in like a way that I respect it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just-- It was like it was, it was true. It was true, though. This is like the most professional thing I think I've ever seen. Because it doesn't matter to me. Yeah, and so I was like, okay, this is, this is great. And that was like five stars. And in the middle section, that's where it started to veer a little bit. It was strange decision. There was a strange decision. And I started to-- My opinions had coldly started to come back a little bit. So it started with, so they played five bangers. Five bangers at class. Because that's what we were like. I was like, this is going to be great. Because everyone knows all the songs. So it was just going to be like a fucking sing-along for the whole time. And they could spank that so tight. And they could celebrate with so many hits. Hits you forgotten. I think they brought up Femi Kooten. Well, so it all started to go wrong for me when there was like a hip-hop beat. It was like, they just played five of their songs. And then boom, boom, boom. And we were saying, this would be the funniest time to drop the N-bomb. Maybe I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was quite a drop to rap. And it was just him saying the N-word. To see that many people turn out they're back on someone at the same time, be like amazing the scale of that. Because everyone has always been like, la-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. Well, it must have been one of the biggest pyramid stage crowds ever. So it would have been the biggest exodus from the period. Because everyone would leave. I'm going to have to stamp people dying the stamp. Yeah, we can't really stay here, can we? If they come straight from that, they're the scientists who go-- No one's ready for it. You can't really enjoy it. They've got the friends fans. They've kind of ruined the rest of their Uber, haven't they, after that? So he's got the hip-hop beat in, and we're like, where is he going with this? And then he did a slideshow of his black friends, was it? Was it all of his black friends? I guess it was his black friends. But who was on there? I don't know. What was it, the classics? I don't know, but it was-- I think I told my dad, huh? It looked-- no, I don't think it was-- to me, I didn't know who any of them were. MLK was on there. What was he? He did, basically, what he did was that. Was it famous? Yeah. I think so. Because a lot of them-- yeah, I didn't know who they were. He did a black section, though. It felt like he broke the beat down, and then said, here's a slideshow of all the black people I love. Here's exactly what he did. There's exactly what he did. And then brought up Fermi Cooty. Fermi Cooty. Who was-- just-- he was performed on that stage. So Fermi Cooty's son? Son. Because I'd seen him-- Which, as I've said, doesn't mean anything, because Fermi Cooty has 400 sons? Does he know something like that? Yeah, he had, like, a cult and a horror. Everyone knows one of them. That doesn't mean anything. We live with one of them. But no, I'd seen Fermi-- he opened the pyramid stage that day. And I went for, like, for my meal, for my breakfast meal. And then, also, a little sims played that day as well. And so it felt for a minute. Like, he saw two black people on the line on that day, when-- Can't we come up? I've got a black section for you guys to-- Yeah, there's a black section we do. And you might as well come up. But I thought that was a bit lame to bring up the two people that have played on the stage that day. I'm like, that's a bit fucking easy, isn't it? And also, he gave up the stage to them, right? But it still pissed me off, because there was a smugness to how little he was speaking during that. It was like, you know, now it's time to listen. This headlining performance-- It was like him going, wow, aren't black people amazing? Cool. Aren't they cool? Well, it was a bit like this headline performance of "Cole Players" and about "Cole Players." No. Yeah, it is completely-- It's exactly about "Cole Players." People are here to see "Cole Players." And so I was getting-- I was starting to get annoyed at this point, right? And also, his accent is-- He sounds so rich now, where you have that sort of international school accent, but he didn't go to the national school. He's just been touring and rich for so long. He's got the-- you know, he goes, OK. Yeah. And he's like, I want to see those beautiful British arms. That was what-- so he did that. He did that early, and that was the first one everyone went, OK, we'll go over there. Because clearly, he's been doing a world tour, which, wherever he is, he goes, let me see those beautiful Argentinean arms. It's like, but you're from here. This is just a brief-- I guess they are. But why are you acting like you're not from it? He's like, he's this sort of fucking demi-don above all. He's transcended nostalgia. Those beautiful British arms. And he's got this kind of weird-- That was the first time when everyone went, right. OK. Right. Yeah. OK. It actually started to go downhill from that moment. And then, I didn't actually see this. I only saw this later. But I think we were there for it. We left you in the black section. We left you in the black section. He then brings out-- Not because of the black section. No, we left because we had to go to see the explosion. Yeah. And then, he brought out Michael J. Fox. We missed that. We weren't there for that. I think we were there for that. We thought it'd be leaving. But I don't think we just didn't see it. I think we were leaving. Because he was sat on. And that was when it was like-- he just kept bringing up-- I didn't know who was going to bring out next, right? So, Michael J. Fox, because they all like the film back to the future-- I read somewhere that back to the future were the reason that Coldplay started. So to do it. And the reporter didn't ask, why? What would you mean back to the future of the reason the band started? Because what, they were all watching back to the future when they were like, we need to start a band. We need to start a band. Why? I mean, it was-- and so they got Michael J. Fox with Parkinson's playing a guitar solo, which was surprisingly good, considering the Parkinson's. And it was a suite. It was a suite moment. That was sweet. It was, but I didn't know. It was all the time I headline stuff. That's kind of not-- people bring people out. That's a sweet one. I liked the Michael J. Fox thing. I thought that was sweet. And then he had a singer with one arm. The gospel choir, who did a breakdown of something. That was during the black section. Yeah. Michael J. Fox ended the black section. OK. Yeah. And yeah, I did enjoy it. It was fun. But he's gone too far. Putin, he will have said yes to him. And it did feel cynical a lot of it. I thought, literally, at the end, I just don't know. Yeah. It felt-- I mean, someone has said something that it feels like Christian music for atheists, which I think sort of makes a lot of sense. Whereas you're kind of recreating the idea of togetherness of religion, but it's like there's not really anything here, apart from these kind of platitudes of like-- Para. Love. Togetherness. Para, dice. You know, everything is beautiful, man. You know, Michael J. Fox. Look at my black for it. Yeah, no, I think we left at the right time for it. Yeah. Is what I'd say. Yeah, I don't know. I can't really remember any of my highlights or anything. Or like, what? I haven't really got any funny stories right now. Justice was fantastic. Little Sims was fantastic. Who else was there? Sammy Veigee. Yeah, I can't really remember. And other people. But yeah, so a good time had by all. We had to go home early on the Sunday, of course, because of the poor old Beebes, who's still pretty ill. Yeah, tough one. Real tough one. Humbling experience. I found it-- since it's coming back-- have you noticed that it's sort of a disc course around Glastonbury? Like, people do get two guests about Glastonbury. And as we said before, left my soul-- Don't say it again. --in a field in Somerset. I'll get it in one channel. There's obviously that side. But there's also another side, which is the sort of people who have really badly disguised FOMO. Have you noticed this? There's a lot of people who have been saying, you know, know what to see your Glastonbury pictures. Yeah. You know, talking about how it's just an overpriced thing for middle class kind of. But posting so much about it is like, no, you clearly really felt like you missed out. Yeah. And I find, like, that attitude sounds quite annoying. People posting about it afterwards. Yeah. It feels really bitter. I agree. I hate when anyone posts. Yeah, well, yeah. I hate when people post about Glastonbury who've been or haven't been. It's boring. Because it happens every year. It's like, yeah, you're an orgy didn't go. You're happy you went. Yeah. I don't care about the time you had. But the people who are an orgy didn't go frame it as if they-- Yeah. As if they were happy that they won't go. Yeah. Yeah. But what I was talking about-- which is insane. It's always a great time. I do understand it because it's the amount of fucking posts on it from stories and then on. And then that fucking Monday where it's just a flurry of, you know, look at this, look at that. I understand it. But-- Because it's insane how many, like, I guess-- You forget how many people got it. How many people got it? I mean, there were some people there, so of course. Yeah. But no, it was good. Too busy this year. It definitely wasn't the best. Yeah. Had better. Yeah. It was better than last year for me. Of course. But no, overall, overall great. Overall great and good fun. Something that we missed out on because of Glastonbury was the debate. Which one? The-- Obviously-- Trump Biden. No. Was it-- Farage. Farage thingy. The green party. Well, people were angry at us because we didn't discuss Trump. Oh, yeah. So the comments about politics. Can you fucking lose the shut the fuck up, please? Honestly, relax. Jesus Christ. We talked about politics and this podcast for the whole time we've been here. It's an election. And it's funny being called like an idiot. And naive. Because we're not-- I haven't. It's been reformed in the UK. That's not like-- And it's like young people now are coming behind Reformed UK. I don't think it's like a crazy-- We don't know fucking anything about politics. We don't support Farage. Stick to the comedy. You don't know shit about politics. I do have a degree in politics, by the way. But how the fuck in-- Who's listening to this is it feels-- I didn't know that people listening to this were big Farage heads. No. It was a crazy like-- Yeah, I can tell. I thought that was pretty implicit that it's not-- We're not bro-reformed. I thought it was quite an inoffensive podcast. I can't remember it as much. Yeah, because on the bus on the way back, I just checked the podcast. And I was like 36 comments. And I was like, oh fuck me. And then it was just like debate sparking out. And it was like that. But we were very excited about the Trump Biden debate. And to be honest, it delivered more than any of us could have imagined. Because I mean, you were disappointed that we were going to miss it because of Gaston Barr. I was hoping that we were going to see it. And I thought it was going to be a damn square, but I thought in my head, I was like, I've built up my head. It's actually going to be quite boring. The last time I debated was when not that much actually happened. When was that? For 2020. Yeah, but now the whole point is like, is Biden going to poop himself? Yeah, but I was like, it's being built up like that. It might just be quite urgent affair. But you look at every one of his fucking appearances. Have you seen his stuff on the teleprompter? He keeps reading out the wrong things. He keeps reading out brackets on the teleprompter. So he said he was talking about a teacher then inspired. And he was like, yeah, I had this great teacher then inspired me back at school. It was Peter last name. And there's that there's more than one Peter last name. It's genuine. Do we not know his name could have been Peter last night? It had been Peter last night. In fairness. Yeah, well, they did it. Was that clear that it wasn't Peter last night? It wasn't Peter last night. Because then they cut to Peter last night when he was like, Biden was on my best. He was the better Peter last night. No, his name wasn't Peter last night. His last name was a good last night. That's an incredible sign. The ratio last night. Yeah, there's a few of us of him. Just reading the brackets and telling them. But it was explosive. I've watched the highlights. You've watched all of it. I've got like 10 minutes left. I've had to win. So you can think of leading this because I've only seen the highlight. I had to take a break from it yesterday. But I found out about it. At Akrassiri, Patty was showing me all the new stuff and I couldn't believe. Like what? Well, it was just, I couldn't believe how much he'd fart. I just, I wasn't there to have it naturally. It was at breakfast during the last summer. I found out I was like, it's such a big deal. It really is. The guy can't speak it. It's all over. This is, of course, it's all over. It's fucking crazy. Every time, like, he literally looks like he's wandered out from a care home. But that's not even an exaggeration. We might have said that last year as a fun little joke. I'm not joking. He does exactly like that. He stumbles on and he's always just like looking around. It's the president of the United States. It's the president. And he's going... If you look at it, his mouth is over for the thing and he's going like this for the whole time. Hey, man. Oh, hey, well. What? You got the... The one thing he got out was, he called Trump. He said Trump's got the morals of an alley cat. Yeah, that's true. That was his one kind of moaning moment. He had a few rehearsed jabs that he got in. But there was one point where I think he was talking about immigration. Yeah. And he started saying something. It was so based on, like, the bait was a bit boring because when there's two ex-presidents, they just talk about their previous records. So it's loads of stats, rather than a bit of a fun, jostle of ideas. But he was talking about something to do with immigration tools. And then towards the end, he just said a sentence that wasn't essentially a sentence. It just, he stumbled over a few words. And then kind of just stopped and then stared out into wherever he was looking. And then Trump said, "Well, I've no idea what he just said, "and I don't think he does either." But, and it's like, "Shut this over." At that point, and then when Biden didn't even react to that, he's just still like going... It was completely so surreal. It was mental. The guy, he's gone. That's why the debate was so important. It's because they weren't allowed any notes. They weren't allowed any contact with their team. It was an hour and 45 minutes or something. And it's just Biden up there for an hour and 45 minutes, getting asked tough questions with Trump. And he obviously, he just can't do it because he's dead. To be honest, Trump didn't even do that well. Trump's pretty fucking old. Yeah, they're both... It doesn't matter at all because the way Biden... He looks like a child. Biden, this is the worst performance of all time on the biggest stage. You could possibly have a presidential debate. Well, we can't do it. But it's also how like, we have all been gaslit by the Democrats into all we've been saying is Sleepy Joe. This was the last election. Well, I don't think we have been. Well, for sort of, don't let him run again. He's too old, has been the big thing. No, he's fine. No, he's fine. What the fuck is this so clearly? Yeah, he shouldn't have... But he's been like this for a while. I mean, obviously, he's getting worse. But it was always going to get worse. If you were as bad as he was two years ago, what do you think was going to happen if you got another four years of president? No, but his... So the actual presidency, he's been forgetting shit. He's been freeing things as well. He's been falling over. There's talks of this for the last election. No one wants... No one in their right mind would want Biden to run again. No one. But why did he run again? Because he's an incumbent and that's a big help in the polls. And he's beaten Trump before. That's why. It's like those stats are really important. It's such a huge oversight by the team. Because this was clearly going to happen. All they've got to do is get him through the election, not looking like a corpse, and then it's done. But he's massively declined even further. Because you see how much like a bomber aged just on his face. Yeah. It was like, think about how Joe's going to wait. When he's already like... What do you mean with all the stresses of being the president of America? He's going to kill him. It's honestly, he looks like it's disgraceful. He looks so much less mentally with it than my grandpa. Like, unbelievably so in there, I think my grandpa's older. You know, he's older than Bill Clinton, who was president 31 years ago. That's nuts. But no, he can't, but you know, it's insane that they've made it in the same position. But he can still pull out now. What he has to? He has to pull out. But he doesn't know what's going on. Surely, but that's that he has to pull out. He doesn't know what's going on. Surely, it's gone. But it was so shocking that it felt like... I mean, I guess I haven't really seen that much right-wing news sources, but it felt like it wasn't even that much gloating, or they hadn't even gone on for the kill. Because even from the right, there was a feeling of sympathy. But that's what... Oh, this isn't even a fair fight. That's what I was holding back. That's what I said to you. Trump's team have clearly said to him, "Don't go too into him, because it's going to look like elder abuse." Yeah. It's just not going to look very nice. It's going to look like you're hitting an old man. But it just feels like, from the whole political discourse, there's like, even on the right, they're like... Even how bipartisan everything's got, just having a president who's not with it at all, it's just bad for everyone. There's just the general feeling of like, "Shot, this isn't at all like a civil war. "This is all like, what are we going to do with this old man?" Yeah, it's not really left versus right. It's like the courts versus right. Do you want an old man to run? No, the guys die. So Trump's going to win, definitely, right? Yeah, I think so. Well, no, it's so... So before the debate, it was there exactly the same. It was neck and neck. I don't know about the polls after, but I'm sure there's been a bit of it. I've seen the poll, it's Trump's, yeah, because... Surely there's a massive swing. So he's got to go. So, Kamala, Kamala? I don't know, that's not going to be very popular. Yeah, I mean, I don't like it for some reason. People hate it, but I don't know, it's a bump. Bump? I guess that's their names, goodbye. Donald Bump, that's kind of... No, it'll be, it'll be Donald Bump. Donald Bump, sounds quite fun. It sounds like a birthday clown. Donald Bump. Donald Bump, Biden, has repeatedly refused to stand out. I don't think he's going to stand out. Now would be the time. Yeah, but I could get him to stand out. He fucking doesn't know what day it is. You couldn't get him to stand out. He's not giving God that, like... You just get him on a day where he thinks he's, you know... He thinks he's a fraud. He's a fishery. He'll be like... Yeah, no, it's fucking great. And then all this teleprompter stuff is happening after. He's taken like... Oh, this is the teleprompter stuff. Does it happen after the debate? Yeah. I want to see if I can find it. So did the last name... Did the last name Gaff happen after the debate? Yeah. He's doing, he's now like having problems... So he was having problems in the debate, thinking about his own things to say. And now he's got to the point where he can't even read other people's things that they've said. I mean, it's something Biden... So does it have to be Kamala, who raises him? No, I don't think so. No. Who else could it possibly? Do you have any idea who... I have no idea who he could have possibly... RFK. But I don't know if he wouldn't be able to take the Democratic. Yeah, you can. I'm pretty sure he can. But then... I mean, it's funny that RFK is the most kind of with it and his voice is... Yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know what he's talking about. What is going on? What is going on? What is going on? One of them, there are other people. Wasn't RFK on Kill Tony? He was on Kill Tony. He was on Kill Tony of the LA4 and came out with the Democratic. It would be awesome if RFK took over the Democratic candidacy. Yeah, it would. It won't happen here. It's not going to happen 100%. They'll just get like a party guy. But it doesn't feel like there's anyone even in the wings for either side. Wait, hold on, I found it. Let me just... Catholic School. My theology professor at the Catholic School I went to was a guy named Riley last name. And he had been drafted by the Green Bay Packers. This is after the debate. Surely it's not after the debate. Well, it was posted recently, fifth of the night. Riley last name. Riley last name. Just with all the confidence of a deranged old man. Riley last name. And he thought he doesn't have the problem with that. You can make a mistake and accidentally read out last name, but you go, "Hold on, that's not right." He goes, "Riley last name." And he doesn't even realize he's made a mistake. To be fair to Biden, there was a fear that getting him in, he was the most boring president. That's what I was very scared of when Biden came in. It was like, this is one of the most dull... With the exciting options we had, there's no one more dull than Biden. But he's really pulled out the stops because this is, like, historically exceptional to have, you know, these sort of gas. It's kind of up there with kind of Trump's funniest moments. Biden's kind of... He's creating his own highlight reel that, you know, could confuse. It's crazy. He's just confused all the time. It's crazy. So yeah, I mean, who the fuck knows? I mean, yeah, if he doesn't pull out shortly, it's all over. But we'll see. I mean, if you're in America, would you vote for R of K? Fucking, don't know. I'm going to vote R of K. Yeah, but you can't do that. But then Trump will get in. Yeah, you have to, you just have to buy the bullet. He can't. He can't... In reality, what you'd think is that he's, like, his adviser's going to be making all these decisions. Yeah, I guess so. So you're going to have to be like, what would you prefer the democratic apparatus or the republican apparatus? Yeah. You don't want Trump in. So you've got to vote for the senior man. Yeah. Rather than the slightly less senior demonic man. I've never seen a response to a debate like it as well. Because after the debate, everyone always rushes to say that side one. And it's nearly always quite hard to work out who did better or not. But having top Democrats coming out talking about how disappointed the performance was, you know, Obama talking about having, like, you know... We all have bad TV appearances. Not really. Yeah. I don't know where you're at. I don't know where you're at. Forgetting where you are for a minute. Yeah, it's absolutely crazy. But the highlight reel is insane. You're right. He's getting there. He's the king. Um... Talk to me. We finish on Miss Diano Penaldo. Yeah. I think that's appropriate. So... And I don't know who's behind this. I don't know who watched the Portugal Slovenia game. But Ronaldo, who's been kind of trying to hog the spotlight as much as possible. And maybe not performing as well as he should be. Got a penalty in the 110th minute, whatever. And he hasn't scored the whole tournament. And he's been taking every free kick, even though he's a terrible record from free kicks. And he missed the penalty that would potentially send Slovenia home and send Portugal to the next round. And the BBC caption underneath when analyzing was Miss Diano Penaldo. Now that reminded us of a certain something. Now, Gary, does this go to Gary or has he created a culture? Because this reminded us of it's beginning to look Christmas-y. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas-y. It's beginning to look quite Christmassy or a bit Christmassy. So after the greats football game of all time, the Qatar World Cup final. The final send-off to Canada. The final send-off to Canada. The final words we heard from the most iconic World Cup. It was the Christmas World Cup. You forget it was during Christmas, to be fair. If it was in due, we'd have. So after this, one of the greatest sports televised events of all time, Gary Linnaker looks barrel down the camera and says... It's beginning to look a bit Christmassy. Christmas-y. Christmas-y. It's beginning to look a bit Christmassy. See? And I know what other words. And he's been known for a pun. In fairness. He's been known for a dad joke, he's been known for a pun. In fairness, there's a big trend. And now there's a counterculture against it towards kind of cinematic commentating in football. Yes. And this is our fault. This is our fault. This is our fault. Because on TikTok, all I'd see was... The Shakespeare of football. It's a bit like Martin Tyler is Joe Biden. Yeah. I feel as though he is Trump. Yeah. Like because everyone, and to be fair, some of the clips I saw of Martin Tyler... Not reacting. ...was were abysmal. Oh, and they've done it. John Mottie was my favorite, you know. Oh! Oh! Every time. Oh! Oh! It was just like forcing it out. In fairness, the guy's seen everything. Yeah. But so then everyone was campaigning like, look what they've got in America with Peter Drewie. He was like writing poetry for an equalizer. And now everyone's fed up of it. Yeah. It was ridiculous. Because he clearly writes the speeches about the rain comes from the sky. Like the tears of God's landing on the ball as Messi strikes it. The little boy from Rosaria. Yeah. It's like, you've written that. You're a fucking loser. Yeah. If that was coming straight off the dome. I also think you did it once. Yeah. Then it'd be powerful. If you do it every single game. Yeah. And you clearly prep it all night. You're a loser. It's the too many who can explore the broth situation as well. It's too many what? There's too many dramatic readings. Spoil the football game. Go. Go. Don't test me. Even in this state, I'm going to get too many cooks now. Even here. Look, he's still got it. So too many dramatic readings for the football game. Too many genres for football game. Because he does it for like fucking equalizers who don't mean anything. He's doing it. He's been doing it all year. He'd do it at the big moment. Fine. But also, I think he's running out of words. Like he's not a great man. But he's used a lot of them. He's not actually running out of words. But he's running out of good poetry. Yeah. Because he's used a lot of all this stuff for like Norwich versus Newcastle. Yeah. So now he's got, he's used all of his good stuff. And now he's just getting worse and worse. And he's just run out. And it's just like, it's just a bit shit. Because it seems false and no one believes it. So, with that in mind, it's beginning to look a bit Christmassy. Was a welcome change. Sure. It was a, oh, it was a wink to the camera. And, oh, look, look. The sport's spoken for itself. Let's have a bit of fun here. Okay. We're here for a bit of a, a bit of a beef and a bough. I was like, 'cause it wasn't a swath. It was, to me, what I loved about it was, it was like a perfect concerto. Yeah. Right. It was just, it was no perfect. And then the final note was just... [laughing] That's what I like to hear, is that? [singing] But it was, it was purposeful. Sure. He's trying to join in with the concerto. Whereas Linnaker is gone at the end. Yeah. Which I find. He's cut the legs out from it. He's a comedian, actually. He's at his core. In another life, he would have been a comment. He's a comedian. [laughing] So, it was one of my favorite lines ever. So, the BBC have done it again. Yeah. This year, with Miss Tiano Panado. And that's when, when they do analysis, they'll have like a little yellow bar that has a tight or what you're looking at. So, no one said Miss Tiano Panado, but it was written there. Now, that was probably whoever writes that. I don't know who that went through. It was a BBC. It was BBC. Scary on screen. It would have been, probably. Now, Gary wouldn't have said right Miss Tiano Panado, but I think it's the culture that he's created at the BBC. Yeah. I think if someone else was the head honcho there, that wouldn't have been done. So, even if he didn't have anything to do with the culture of puns that has been created by Linnaker, I think that's what's led to Miss Tiano Panado. I think they had a recap of the world couple of what went well, even better if. What went well? Because we're getting a lot of Christmas. It's being sort of a bit Christmas-y. Yeah. I, you know, like... Even better if. Even better if. Let's do more now. So, Miss Tiano Panado, I'm not sure if Linnaker was even on screen for this one. No, no, let's talk about that as a pun. Miss Tiano Panado. Yeah. What's your thoughts on that? It's better than it's beginning to look a bit Christmas-y. Yeah. Because the... What... It's a stretch. It's fine and hard to remember the Christmas-y pun, because it doesn't make any sense. Because the song is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Yeah. And he didn't say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas-y. Yeah. He said it's beginning to look a bit Christmas-y. And it's beginning to look a bit Christmas-y. No one really says that. It's not a... So, it doesn't really work. No. Why it's even better is a pun in my world. Yeah. In my world. Whereas Miss Tiano Panado is a flawless pun. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with it. It's absolutely perfect. It's the... Ronaldo has been very petrident and over the last three or four years his legacy is dueining quite a lot. He's dueining the Rock Johnson. He's dueining the Rock Johnson. He's dueining the Rock Johnson. His legacy is dueining the Rock Johnson, for sure. I won't be a jury to say that. Don't have Miss Tiano Panado on screen. His legacy is surely dueining the Rock Johnson. The point is going on. I've learned there's just a pure speaking pun. But it does feel quite disrespectful to the man. Say what you want about Ronaldo, just to be that Titanic-a-figure in football and sport in general. Call him Miss Tiano Panado. Because he misses a penalty. I feel that is quite... It's so into the world. It's certainly rude. I mean, obviously he's kind of asking for it with how a petrident has been. Yeah. But it does feel... It just feels a bit unfair on the one. It's an out-of-pocket hit. It's below the bell. Miss Tiano Panado. He's just like... Try... He amounted. I'm trying to get that off the ground. You've had a moment. I've created this game. Yeah. About a penalty to a score. And now that's going to... You're going to try and make that my... Miss Tiano Panado. Yeah, no. I'm 10 out of 10 for me. The more times the better in the football coverage. Enough of... Enough of Duroy, more of Lineker. Yeah. Did you watch things... Obviously, it was a glass of room. So no. Did you just hear about it all afterwards? Yeah. I mean, someone said it and I was like, okay, good. So as we're leaving the festival, it was like the 92nd minute as we left the... Oh, shit. So you thought we were out? And then there was... Someone had a loudspeaker in the crowd. And so it was literally as the festival was ending, we were going out one-nil. Which would have been hilarious. I'd be saying for the whole time. I had 100% preferred us to go out this round, last round, rather than this round. Really? Yeah. 100%. Because I would just found it really funny how the most boring euros ever for us. All of the games were fucking boring and sin. And then we missed the last game because we were in a glass of room, a one-nil to Slovakia. I did, and the funniest thing is if we win every game. Like this. Like that. And it's just, no one enjoys the games. And then we left with this really weird feeling. It's like, I guess we won. That was still really bad. It might, well, it's probably sad. I am. Yeah. I know you won, but that's fine. You didn't mean to win. You didn't mean to do that. That was a flute. Now, I'm backing us now. Really? Just after that. I think there's that, like, I guess... I guess... I guess there's that kind of mentality that, you know, does win to one of us. Yeah. When it's like, oh, you just, it's kind of like impossible to lose because it's so boring and they just kind of get through. It's like losing would be too interesting. England losing to Slovakia would be too interesting. Yeah. England drawing to like Denmark was like, yeah. That's, yeah. I guess that's fine. England winning one nil against who do we win one nil against. We won one nil against... First game. Albania, I think. Serbia. Serbia. Yeah. That makes sense. Winning to one against Slovakia, you're like, yeah. Yeah. They're just doing everything to make sure it's not like, it makes sense. So, what score breaks is for Switzerland then? I think it's going to be one nil to England. Yeah. But like, we'll score it like the 30th minute and it will be a very average goal. And then we'll just like go between the two midfields of the whole game. And Southgate will make sense. No, I think we're going to play terribly for 85 minutes. Well, I mean that within my prediction. Yeah. What's the pun? If we win one nil. No, what's the pun for how you describe that game? What's the BBC pun? Oh, God. Which game? Switzerland. No, yeah. So you've just predicted that we're going to win one nil. What's the bit? Would it be like, would it be like, winneth Borgate? That's all we've got time for folks. It's very well. It's a pleasure. I will see you next week. It's great. [MUSIC] [MUSIC] (upbeat music)