We are joined by the majectic Bebe Cave!
Boys Gone Wild
Boys Gone Wild | Episode 227: Bebe Cave
(upbeat music) - Hello, welcome back to another episode. Boys Gone Wild, I'm joined here with BB Cave. - I don't wanna break up the... - What am I? Chop liver. - No, I do. You're beautiful. (laughs) - I don't wanna break up people's roots. I think people have plugged us into quite a routine of just us two talking. - We're getting boring. - We're getting predictable. - No, but I imagine, no, this is probably, they'll be furious that it's broken with their routine. - Oh, yeah. - 'Cause they're used to just us two talking now. - No, he said there's a woman on the porch. - Yeah, that's true. - It's just not what I'm used to. It's not what I plan for my Friday to be. - I was talking to a listener at the podcast who said that he treats us as background noise. - Yes. - And then when, for last week's episode, we told a story and he said it was actually quite interesting. So we actually started listening. - It was actually quite interesting. - Yeah. - You both got very sort of low, very generous voices that I imagine are quite relaxing 'til you sleep too. - Yeah. - Well, yeah, I think you can switch between us and rain sounds, I think. - What podcast do you listen to? - It's Big Boats, moving in the ocean. - People do big boats. - People do big boats. - People do big boats. - It's a big boat, yeah. - It's a big boat. - How'd it go? - Oh, what is this like? - Yo, yo. - Oh. (laughs) - Those are maybe not like a big boat. - It's gently breaking the waves. - Yeah. - Yo, yo. - Pirates are coming back. Have you seen Pirates are back? Do you know what I mean? - Somalia or Classy. - Well, more just like they're back in the culture. I've seen a lot of ocean related content. - Wait, do you mean like the Houthi pirates? - No, forget, I said pirates. More like aquatic culture is back. - Is aquatic culture? - Do you mean like mamates? (laughs) - Ooh, mermaids included. - Moment. - I guess-- - No one ever talks about mermaids. - Do you think there may be-- - 'Cause I'm like the male porn star. - Do you think there's a correlation between more interest in aquatic, sort of ex-terra-firmer content? Because-- - Big words for us. - I was trying to think, is that makes sense? Ex-out-of, I'm thinking of my Latin. I started out today level. - Yeah. - It was that long. I wanted to take, as I mentioned that. (laughs) - Well, it went down a bit. - Ex-means out-of and then terra-firmer-firm ground. So, maybe the interest in, like, aquatic mermaids, you know, pirate, sea culture, all that kind of stuff. Maybe it's because people aren't happy with their lives on land. Do you think that that's what it is? - Maybe. - Well, there's a yearning to go back. - Well, they always say that, like-- - From whence we came, which is the sea. - In popular culture and art, the things that people tend to gravitate towards tend to be like a reflection of what you're lacking in real life. - What was the-- - When all the rappers talk about arse and teas. - 'Cause they don't have enough arse and teas. - That's a good urban. You can never have too many. - I guess so. I guess that's all. - Yeah, that's what they can't see. - Precisely. There's never enough. - But, like, maybe the idea of people becoming all interested in, like, mermaids again is because, you know, they just want an escape from the monotony of modern life. - I think you're right, but I don't know if I've seen a lot of mermaids-- - I'm just gonna make this up a little bit. - I have seen a lot of sort of ship content recently. - It's that song. - Oh, is it real work? - Oh, oh, oh. - Is this a translation of the decision? - Oh, oh, oh. - It does it sincerely. - I think quite a few of them do it sincerely. - Yeah, I think I'm all context. - Isn't that scary that, like, the people who love being spooked? - Like, making a phobia over there. - Mega phobia, or, like, we don't know what happened to this, the crew of this ship. - Yeah. - It's the kind of people who got really into the Bermuda Triangle. - Yo. - It's like, people who get off and get into spooked with those sort of, like, with scary facts. - Well, I've watched some of these videos. - Yo. - Everyone has a Titanic phase, right? - It's not our phase. - Everyone has an obsession with the Titanic. - The ocean, the vastness of the ocean is deeply terrifying. - Yeah. - We respect it. - Yeah. - So I think you should remember that. - Yeah. - But you like underwater creatures. - I do, but that, but I think part of the reason I have mine. - Are you probably planet head than a planet earth head? - Yeah, of course. - 'Cause I've got taste. - You don't like, you don't like the creepy one. - I don't know, I don't like the creepy one. - But that's like aliens, you know. - They are aliens. - I've seen enough cheaters in my life. Show me, like, a six-headed bobblefish. - No, I don't know. - I did like the ones where they've discovered, like, 50 new species, when you're serious. They're like, we went deeper now, there's, like, 100 more things. - Exactly. - They all look like they want to die. - Ah! - They all look like they've seen one cut out, like. (laughing) Carrot on. - I don't mind those videos where it's like people in a submarine, and you just hear the audio of their voices as they're watching, like, a new octopus that they've never discovered before, that looks like a plastic bag. But then transforms into an octopus. It looks like it's just a plastic bag, and then it changes colour, and it transforms into an octopus. I don't mind that, but I don't like crabs. - Yeah. - I don't like the way that they walk. - Right, yeah, that's fine. - I don't like the hard body. - It feels like deep down under. - Don't trust them. - The reason they look so weird is because they've never had to deal with being perceived. Do you know what I mean? - Maybe that's why we should all be, what they said about women. Women, to be a woman is to suffer. - To be a woman is to perform, right? - Is to perform, or it's like, the female gaze is like a, there's a man inside of every woman looking at the woman or something like that. - So the men, the deep sea creatures. - There are no men inside of the crabs. - There are no men inside of the crabs. - There are no men inside of the crabs. - This is an terrible scientific take-out. I just want to make sure you know what's going to get out of shot. - But if you don't have to be perceived, then you can't be like. - Maybe we, maybe all women actually want to be, it's just crabs, just walking along the bottom of the ocean. Finding a new shell occasionally. - I don't think there are many crabs in the deep ocean. - There are other crabs in the deep ocean. - Yeah. - There are other crabs. - There are other crabs. - There are other crabs. - In the deep ocean with the light luminescent shit. - Yeah. - The crabs on the bottom of the sea floor. - What happens if you drop a crab? - I think you're talking fucking wank again. - Yeah. - What if a crab walks? - What if you drop a crab? If you lost your fucking mind. - If you drop a crab, it would go to the bottom of the ocean. - So? - Oh. - And then it would be this. - We're talking, yeah, if you put a crab at the bottom of the ocean, it would be there. - There's definitely crabs to go. - I don't even like the way that they taste. - Mm. - I like crab. - I don't like any seafood. - I don't think this is true. - No. - First Google. - There's no crabs. - First Google of the day. - Are there crabs on the sea floor? - There are definitely crabs on the sea floor. - Wait, I asked you this before, but you didn't answer. What podcasts do you listen to, both of you? Do you listen to podcasts to go to sleep? I just wonder because as podcasts creators, as podcasters, do you-- - What do you expect from the busman's holiday? (laughs) - What podcast? (laughs) - I'm just saying to you yourself, what do you think, how many hours of podcasts do you think the average person listens to? And do you think that you are a bubble below that average? - Are we counting Amazonian tribesmen into our data? Or was that just like the generic-- - I just mean the generic metropolitan person, I guess. - I would say three hours, I'd say four. - A week or a day? - What if you're into podcasts? - A week or a day? - A week. - A week. - Do you listen to podcasts yourself? - Yeah, I just listen to Kill Tony, though. - Yeah. - That's literally what I listen to. - I listen to Kiss Tony. - So, you know-- - I like Kill Tony too. - You do like Kiss Kill Tony. - Yeah. - 'Cause you got a fucking deviant set of humans. - It's really cool. - Honestly, people think she's nice, but she's got-- - It's goddamn entertaining. - It is very cool. - Do I listen to anything else? - I try and do some, like, you know, the rest is history ones, but it's hard to, like, what I can do that. - I've worked in two recently. Started off on the Nazi ones. - She loved the Nazis, my god. - Oh, yeah. - But she kind of went through what all of, all guys went through in the other four team when you're finding out the Nazis properly. Like, oh, that's right. She's just had that now, because the guy who did the Jeffrey Dahmerdock-- - Yeah, which was so good. - So, you know, he did the Ted Bundy, or did he do both? - He did both Joe Burlinga. He did these three incredible documentary series on Netflix called "Confessions of a Serial Killer", "Tapes of a Serial Killer." - No, it wasn't. It was a sequel. - No, it was a sequel. - Not related, no, no. - The breakup. It was Darby's origin story. (laughing) - Anyway, they, it's just, he managed to do these documentaries that combine, like, found footage with reenactments, but for some reason, the reenactments and the actors and stuff that it doesn't feel cringe. It's because you don't ever hear their actual voices. You hear actual audio transcripts overlaid with some actors portraying the footage. It's very classally put together. It's obviously targeted towards Gen Z. They make it very-- - It's just a Nazi thing. - And then it's going to-- (indistinct) - Yeah, there's a dark face. - There's a dark face. (laughing) - Yeah, that's how you really see this. - So is he hiding? - He's like, why not? It's like smiling. (laughing) Like, there's he changing his hair. - You'll be amazed. - Anyway, Joe Burlinga, he did these amazing documentaries that I watched, like, three times in a row. I loved them so much. - I loved the Joe Dom, Jeffrey Dom one. It was just so interesting and so well put together. I also loved the Dom, a series as well, which probably makes me fucking weird, but-- - Is that the-- - It doesn't make you weird. That makes you get everyone. - I guess so, yeah. - I guess it kind of makes you kind of crazy. I'm like into, like, serial killer documentaries. That's kind of mad. But it is funny that we were now getting into the Nazis because it's been pitched as, what if there was 500,000 Jeffrey Dom, which is all at once, which is kind of the appeal of Nazis, historically, is like, imagine if all of them were basically serial killers. Isn't that mad? - Anyway, this new series, Hitler and the Nazis-- - Is that what it's called? - Evil on trial. - Hitler and the Nazis. - Yeah, Hitler and the Nazis, Evil on trial. - Because it goes back and forth between the Neurabung trial and then just taking you through the timeline. It's just brilliant. And I understand that everyone has, like, a Hitler Nazi period where they learn about all of that stuff. And I obviously did learn about that in school myself. - In that school, they hit all of these, isn't it? (laughs) - Yeah, we learn about that in Hitler, yeah. But no, I know, I just, this filmmaker, Joe Ballinger, he's really-- - Joe Ballinger. - You're gonna drop it again. - You're gonna do two of them. - Joe Ballinger. - Anyway, I just really like it. I recommend it. - Yeah. - I recommend it. - Well, I wonder if that shows that, you know, you can get women into these sort of things if you just pitch it differently. - This is so offensive to women. I am particularly Dom person, especially when it comes to history and stuff like that. I've never been super interested in history. - I feel like most women are probably much more like, well, that's the answer. - What was just saying that maybe the love of true crime and serial killers is not as female as we think it is. It's more that they haven't really got into genocides. - Yeah, maybe. I think maybe because women are more focused on like the idea of serial killers because those tend to be more of like a tangible threat to a woman than say warfare because women aren't the ones who are getting, you know, conscripted. So men's fascination with sort of death and horror and true crime is about war. So for women, it's about a guy that's going to fucking snag you in the street. - Oh, yeah. - Hitler has some mind's play. - Maybe Hitler. - Fascinating stuff. - It's death. - Not for me, the Nazis. - No, no. - You're not into Nazis? - Thumbs down. No, just, you know, their works are poor. - Do you have much interest in Nazis? - I think an average interest in Nazis. I don't think it's bad either way. I know enough, but I don't know too much. - Rewatching the dot though, what really came across is how they were all fucking losers at the top. - Yeah, I know that's like a weird thing to say. - But they were all ugly, little weirdos, who none of them looked like the ideal Nazi. I know everyone says that about Hitler, but then you look at all the, the real guys. - All of his stuff, guys. - They're all fucking incels who were like, losers in the war periods. - Yeah, and during the like the golden age of like the Weimar Republic, where it's all like flappers and people experimenting and theater and cool people, the Nazis basically just were, well, we're not involved in that. So I don't want people listening to me. They were just incels. - Genuinely, yeah. Because everyone was like doing jazz, being trans. - Exactly. - And then there's all these kind of like Reddit incels who didn't fit in at all. - God, can you imagine if they had Reddit? - Yeah, of course. - So anyway, I found it really interesting. - Yeah. - And I know that I'm not particularly well versed in history far. - I'll beat yourself down. - I just was never super interested in history at school. - More of a Latin girl. - Yeah, more of a Latin girl. - Yeah, more of a her story. No, them story. - Absolutely, right. But then story of people kind. - Oh my God, that's why it's called history. - Yeah. - Here's story. - Yeah. - Is that real? - It's true, is it? - Is that true? I think, yeah. - I mean, you studied history. - Sorry about the fact that you. - No, but you need it. Is that like the first thing you learn? - What, the word, where the word comes up? - The origin of history. - You know what? It never came up. - That's crazy. - And I think it was going for another Google. - Yeah, there are crabs on the ocean bed. - I knew it. - But not in the deep ocean. - That's not true. - Their shells will be able to like, sustain like really heavy pressure, right? - The pressure, the air pressure. - They've got a helmet on. - They're basically a submarine down there. - They're basically a submarine down there. - I don't know what you're talking about. - You do know what you're talking about? - It's a, it's a emoji of the word history comes from Historia. - I'm not. - Inquiry knowledge. So yeah. - Yeah, come on. - Load a piss. - Yeah, that's a load of piss. - Yeah. - Acid reflux. - Oh yes, acid reflux. - Big news for the acid reflux community. Many of you would have seen that there is a new experimental procedure that's just gone ahead and it's been successful. - I knew. - No, not me. No, it's like a chart. - Didn't we experiment on Drew? - Well, I would honestly give myself up for the community. - Would you be the base of acid reflux community? - 100%. The ideal sponsor for the podcast is Gavaskone for me. - You want to be a Gavaskone brand ambassador more than anything? - 100%. - Yeah, so do you sponsor co? - Why don't I have any more? I'm on the next sim 'cause I take the pills in the morning. - And you gave me some Gavaskone recently after that night out when I had really bad acid reflux. - But it helped. - It bloody helped. - It does, yeah. - I felt the little white guy surfing. (laughing) - I thought him. He was even down there, wasn't he? - It's so cute. I love that. - What would you want to be an acid reflux at? Would you want to be the guy suffering? - No, I want to be the guy like, you know. - Are you the guy like eating a pizza being like? (laughing) - No, but in start with eating the pizza then go. (laughing) - No, that would be like a fat old guy. And then they drink it and then it's me. - So you're from the after? - Yeah, yeah. - Nice. - So the new procedure, they put like a fucking box or something in your throat. I don't know. They put something down there. - Throw a box. - Yeah. - And it's worked. It's stopping people having acid reflux. - Are you interested? - Yeah. - Now what was interesting is that-- - What was sad? - Did you send me, what news outlet was it? - It was TikTok, but it was, maybe it was ITV News. - Which I think recently some of the best content has been from legacy media doing TikToks. - Yeah. - Like the less people using the word Plonker, they had this amazing study on that about how we're using less of these old words like Plonker and Lumix, but they're talking about it like it's like a-- - A lot of culture. - Yeah, yeah. - It's in some ways it is. - But this one was really funny 'cause we was talking about the new acid reflux surgery and the images they use for people suffer about the reflux. - It's kind of worth getting it up. - It's exclusively fat people. It was like, it was just close-ups of fat people and like sausage rolls and like people stuffing their face for pizza. - It was crazy. - It was really irresponsible journalism. - You kidding me. All of the comments are like, well just stop eating sausage rolls, Fatty. And I'm like, I don't have sausage rolls. - That's a misunderstanding on acid reflux, right? - I like it, but I don't have them off it. - It is a misunderstanding on acid reflux, right? It's not-- - I mean, your diet can help. I get it a lot, it's a lot worse if I'm drinking and eating pizza short, but it's still present even when I'm having avocados and squash. So, don't see that in a minute. So yeah, it is irresponsible journalism, but I don't think it's gonna be rolled out to the public that soon. I don't think I'll be able to get it. I think it's like getting your tonsils removed. You've gotta have like, you know, really bad tonsilized, so. - Yeah, but we were talking with your dad about acid reflux, and you're saying that you need to, you should go check out it checked out 'cause it could be lethal, and you could die tomorrow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could die tomorrow. - Yeah, well that's what he was saying. - He didn't say that. - Next week. - Mind up. - I think that he said that somebody like you would be a good candidate, like, you know, for the procedure. If you-- - This procedure? - Yeah. - You were talking about this procedure. - Well, before it came, I don't know if it was this procedure. I don't know if it was, it probably was actually. - I think it was, yeah. - I was really, basically 'cause I was so rarely get to C.A.G.P. whenever I see him. - Yeah, he was talking about my acid reflux with baby's dad. - Well, there's not a lot of these dad, but what we do, we do cover a lot. He's a brilliant doctor. - How did you talk about that? - He's a brilliant doctor, and I don't have that. I don't know, as in our circle, we don't really have anyone smart anymore. Do you know what I mean? Who knows anything about science or medicine? - Yeah. - We just have a lot of like marketing stuff. - Yeah, marketing or people who do comedy is-- - So we just sort of roll out a list of sort of medical inquiries. - Right, so people have actual knowledge. It's like, I just, you know, you just-- - And your first question is my acid reflux. - I guess what, no, 'cause I was talking about it. - But my brother has really bad acid reflux talks. - Yeah, yeah. - So, then, yes, he just came up. But I think he did say that you would be a good candidate for that experiment. - Why? - Tell me why I'd be a good candidate. - 'Cause you have it multiple times a week, right? - Yeah, that wasn't what I was like before. I thought it'd be, you know, young, fair. - Young, sexy. - No, like, yeah, it comes and goes, but I'm taking these pills anyway, which do the job. So, you know. - That's fantastic. That's like a preventative thing, and it's working all fine. - Yeah, it's going all right. But no, it is bad. - 'Cause do you wait in the middle of the night, like, with muffled screams? Is that what? - Sure. Well, that's the nightmares. - Oh, that's the nightmares, yeah. - No, yeah, well, no, it depends. If I take these pills, it's fine. But my mum's side, my gromm mum has it. - Gotta be grand, Ben. (laughing) - Wow, the grandgrads are up. (laughing) - Help me, grandgrads. (laughing) - On my mum's side, my mum's side has it, and my dad's side have it. So, I'm fucked from both ends. - The whole life of spit roasts looks like that. - Yeah, you've been spit roasted by the fucking acid roof. - Yeah. - Well, pretty much. (laughing) I've got droopy eyes and acid reflocked, but... - I think, I mean, look, we're all getting older and we're all getting better at dealing with our own respective medical problems. You've been a lot more sort of assertive with trying to get-- - Assertive. Do you remember when you couldn't piss? - Get your things sorted out. It's not, I couldn't piss. - Go on, say it, finish that sentence. It's not that you couldn't piss. - It's just, I did lose bladder strength very early. You know, I pissed like a 50-year-old man. - Well, it was a period where you had to push to piss. - Yeah, push to be, you shouldn't push to piss. - You shouldn't have to, I'm never saying to you. - It was like, no one should have to push to piss. - No one should. - No one, don't suffer in silence. - Do you boys have pelvic floor? - Everyone has to push to poo, but no one has to push to piss. - You know you can do pelvic floor work. (laughing) - Pelvic floor. - Do you, do men have pelvic floor? - I think men have pelvic floor work. - You know what, I've wondered this question as well, and that's going to be the third google of this episode. - Oh, I mean, women should do kegels. And I know that that's about tightening your pelvic floor. But I don't, men should, men do have a pelvic floor. Maybe if you did some kegels, your pissing problem will get better. - Maybe, maybe. - Do men have pelvic floors? The male pivot, yeah, this is the answer. - So can you, can you tighten your, can you do a kegel? I don't know if they're going to do kegels. - I don't know if it's mentioned. It's basically the feeling of you know if you stop a piss midstream, if you can do that manually, it's that feeling, and then you do sort of, you're supposed to do it for about five minutes. - Who's got this? - Is it like an exercise in control? - Yeah, no, it's about strengthening muscles. - I guess there's like quite powerful, to be able to stop a piss midway, you know. - Can you do it? - I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. - My bladder control is astonishing. - Is it good? - Yeah. - It's excellent. - Yeah, mind you. - It's really good, yeah. - But you could easily have like a diary of a CEO sort of campaign about controlling your piss, it's sort of like semen retention, sort of like piss control. - Yeah. - It's like, you know, control your, your piss, that you control your life. - Yeah, yeah. - Because there's a lot of things, because otherwise you're just letting it all up, but if you can stop it like that, that means that you've really take control of your-- - Take charge of the toilet, take charge of your life. - Yeah, well then you should do some kegels babe, that might help. - Who's got the time to hold it away? - Euros football, football fever. - Whoa! - You're getting into football? - Yeah, big time. - Yeah. - I like how sassy and catty men's footballers. I think now that I've realized that-- - We're not talking more than Andrew now. - About it. It's incredibly entertaining. - Yeah. - Like seeing the way that they grab each other's little shirts, the way that they, you know, we're springing each other's ears. I didn't know that managers could get red cards. I didn't know that Otata was banned from watching one of his own matches, because he'd been so naughty the week before. (laughing) I mean, it basically just real housewives. - Yeah, that's true, it really is. - It's just not. - And then obviously I love the fanfare about, I just love seeing the actual emotions in men's faces. Like they say that women are the emotional ones, but if you watch men watching football match, that's the most emotional that I can see a human. That's the largest range of human emotions that someone can have. Like, which game were we watching? I think it was an Arsenal game where some of the fans of the team that they were playing were like screaming in this footballer's faces. He was about to take a corner. And it's like, this is a world-class, like, elite athlete. And you think that you're fucking ugly mug, he's gonna be able to do anything to change. But they're with the passion, like the absolute conviction that they had, that they thought that by them screaming abuse at him, that he was not gonna be able to make this shot. I just thought, it's really-- - I think there's something quite nice about that. - I didn't think that level of delusion. - If you are an ugly mug, you should be allowed to scream at these roles. - Or would a bit scream abuse that attractive, successful-- - That's just so inappropriate. You wouldn't be able to-- - That should be a space for that. - That's part of the culture. - If you're ugly and poor, you should be allowed to shout "use it, hot rich people." - That's a terrible role for you. - You've got to put in a space. - You've got to put in a football context in that. - Sorry, yeah. You've got to watch with abuse. It's like your mug shake role. - So I really am enjoying it. And I especially like watching football in a park. - I think that's really nice. - I like fans. A lot of your favorite sounds, like fan TV's. - Yeah, about, like, you know, when you miss us, does this, and it's just football is crying. God, I just love it. - Plus, men don't look, oh no, I've said this. Probably on this podcast before, but men look their best in sports gear. In a t-shirt, shorts, kind of a little bit sweaty, not too sweaty yet, but on the way to running somewhere. - What about a bobsled outfit? - Bobsled outfit? - Yeah, the men look the best in that sport. - Yeah, that's number one. Fine, football kit is number two. - But men-- - It hooks the curves. They're, like, people are, like, speed sketching with a big helmet. - Men are most attractive with a little bit of a gusser. - They're slightly with a massive helmet with a lot of that. Sports work. - No, but men look best in shorts in a t-shirt with another group of men. You get the cheerleader effect, but in men. - Yeah, is the cheerleader effect just if you-- - The cheerleader effect is that some attractiveness is multiplied when you see a group of people all in the same thing. Like, if you see a cheerleader on her own, oh, that's cute. A group of cheerleaders, wow. I think that's what it is. I think it was probably to find that role. But I think it's the same outfit, so-- - Maybe, yeah. - Honestly, if I were to see a group of boys, in a park, all in sports shorts-- - In a bobsled outfit. - Even if-- - All in a bobsled outfit, I'm gonna be like that now. (laughing) - Yeah, but they just, even if they're not individually that attractive, as a group, as a pack, that's an attractive thing to look at. - Yeah, I see that. I kind of agree with that. - But it feels like a lot of what we find attractive is men wearing clothes that apply there about to do some-- - Yeah. - Some exercise. - Yeah, or just something. - Bobsledding. - Bobsledding, lumberjack. - Yeah. - Just any sort of like-- - Construction. - Yeah, it's just, you're on the way to do something and you're not trying to seem sexy as sexy. - Yeah, something practical and I think that men are sort of, you know, just like sweet about it. - Men like women, it's like, they should wear outfits, they can't do anything in. - Yeah, it might be like-- - That's what we like. - Yeah, it might be. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - Bound. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. We like the men in motion and the women to be stationary, I suppose. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's how it should be. There always has been. - Did you, we watched the footy together. - We did watch the football. - Off the lines. - Off the lines, rah. - You've got your own, it's the gold coming home. - Wait, do you not like football, Andrew? - I dabble. - You dabble, but you're not that just about it. - No, I can't, I go through it, it's a bit like, oh, by the way, it's like a sportsmanship. - We need to talk about, hey. - It's not the lack of sportsmanship. I'm not a full-time golfer. - You only like sportsmanship, that's the only thing you love. - Do you love sportsmanship? - I think there's something interesting about the fact that Andrew's not super into football because I feel like football is such a pressurizing factor in young men's lives. Like, if I don't know everything about football, I'm not gonna be seen as cool. My brother, Jamie, I remember, he wasn't super into football, but he forced himself to get into it so that he kind of, you know, bond with other boys about it. The fact that Andrew hasn't done that, and he's still very cool. I mean, that says, speak quite highly of him because he's never had to pretend even to be that into football. - Yeah, but he's not into sports. Jamie was not into sports. - No, Jamie wasn't into some sports and stuff like that, but he forced himself to get more into football so that that could be like a factor in making male friendships. - I just certainly got into Snoker instead. - I did the wrong one and I thought everyone loves Snoker and then whoops. - But the foundation is-- - You taste makers. - Of sport is having something to talk about with your dad and your dad's into many different sports. So you've already got that covered. You don't need to rely on football for chat because your dad likes golf. - Yeah, that's true. And Formula One. - Formula One, golf. - Football. - I saw him watching Squash once. - Watching. - Yeah. - Christ. - Well, you know, Squash is cool. - When you were in sports. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think. - You're not really meant to be watching those channels. - No. - No. - It's not for us. - It's none of your business. - Yeah. - Yeah, now up the lines up there are, no, not up there are. - Not up there are. - That's a different thing. - Maybe the opposite. - Maybe the opposite. - Maybe the opposite. - Well. - But yeah, the football fever hasn't hit me. It might hit me today. - Yeah. - It's England versus Denmark. - Denmark. - Can be that. - Today. - This will come out afterwards, we don't know. - So who knows? - We can do it like fools. - Yeah. - But now I go to the pub for that. I feel like I need a pub to get into it. - Yeah. - Because it was a Sunday night start, which isn't ever gonna help. - Yeah. - Which was late. - I was just sitting outside with you. - I'm actually fucking idiot. - Yeah. - How's that gonna get me? - Yeah, yeah. - I need like a guy shouting abuse at a Danish person when he's gone England flag on at a point. - Yeah. - We watched with our friend Matt and Matt dropped a line that I hadn't heard in a while. - A long time, yeah. - When he was talking about the way that commentators talk glades over Bellingham. He says all the commentators, they can't stop creaming themselves over Bellingham. But he said he quite sincerely. - Yeah. - With no warning. - He said sincerely. - He clearly got excited about the joke. - Yeah. - And they didn't really realise what he was saying. And then he kind of creamed himself. - Yeah. - That was the joke. - That was the joke. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. - He went Doja Cat says it. She can put it off. - What'd she say? - Pretty much it. - That me do you like cream? (laughing) - What'd she do? It goes out. - Clippet. - Clippet. - Clippet. - Clippet. - She did all of her stuff. I literally just saw a Doja Cat video too last week. She goes, (gibberish) - I think that's different too. - No, no, that's a different context. - What song do you think? - Touch me when I cream. - It's um. - Get into it. - Yeah. - Get into it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think. - I don't like that song. But I don't like it. (gibberish) - Touch me when I. - No, that's very different. - You have to know what I'm talking about. - I do. - No, it's a different context to that. That's her saying. - No, but Doja Cat's also... - That's more to that sexually. It's not like, you know, all that. - Oh, she's using it in the much more little more. - Gary, you've got to be creamed himself over Bellingham. - Yeah. - So, we've got to do it. - There's only one layer of irony there, which is like, it's a very sexual thing to say. But it's obviously a silly way of saying it. When Gary, when Matt said it. - When Matt. - When you're very Matt to doja. - It's two levels of irony. Because it's super sexual to you. - Doja Cat. - So, he means it in terms of, he's using it as a way to describe enthusiasm. - So, for him, there's two layers of irony there. Yeah, it was probably what, like, he can't say that. - He's talking about, like, clearly doja. (laughing) - You can't talk about creeving when you're talking about him. - Why it's so funny though, is it's applying someone so excited about someone that they've, they've not only ejaculated, but whipped cream has been blasted out of their trousers. And it's sort of like, it's like, come out of their, like, trousers. - Yeah. - It's like, they've blown up, they look like the Michelin man. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah, there's something very clownish about it. So, what do you see when you think cream themselves? - I just think of a nice hearty jizz, you know. Just a humble jizz, maybe above average, and whiter than usual. - Oh, I see it as very cartoonish. - Oh yeah, I think of it as cartoonish. - No, I see it as like, a real, really, a realistic, just patch just appears at his trousers. - No, no, no, no, no. I think of it like a boxing Malone style cream pie. - Cream pie, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Becoming out of his pants. - Yeah. - Which one do the Euros? - I know, this is disgusting, this is disgusting. - Oh, it's the pod. But the fever is coming, we're gonna do it. Football, football, football. - How much do you want him to take at home? Take it or leave it? - Yeah. - Yeah, take it or leave it? - Did you do sweepstakes with your work? - Yes, not with my work, with my friends. - What country do you go? - I got Serbia, I think, and Scotland. - I agree, everyone likes sweet takes, and it's like a fun thing to do, but I don't think it's fun because there's four teams who are gonna win it. So it just feels a bit-- - A bit pointless. - Oh, yeah, if there's a better way of structuring it. - Yeah. - Like if you had, what would be more interesting is maybe like, you picked, did a sweepstakes for countries and then did a sweepstakes for places to finish, knock out the group, seven finals. - That's getting pretty complex. - And then we'll see how many, then you'd have like three or four winners, probably. - What, so you pick a team and a play, or you'd get given a team and a place to finish. That sounds-- - 'Cause otherwise it's just a bit flawed. - I was like, you gotta get a calculator out at some point for that, and that's just ruined the sweepstakes. - Well, imagine there was a spreadsheet brought out. So you're already halfway there. - There wasn't a spreadsheet. - No, not. - We did an old fashioned names and a hat. - Oh, that's fine. - Who's your prediction to win the Euros then? - England. - Nice. - Yeah. - It's coming up. - Come on, what? Who's your prediction? - How are you enjoying the Euros? - I am enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. You're a fever hasn't hit. It feels like I haven't hit the country yet, but it's a real day. - Well, today, because it's a nice fucking weather for my-- - I do bloody love it. I love international football. It's just as good as it gets. - Yeah, it really is. - It is good. I am looking forward to this. I am, I am only, I'm partially joking. I'm excited for the big game today. 'Cause I like watching football. - Yeah. - Well, it's often all the who are around it, I like. - It's also like-- - Just watch the bloody game. - It's nice getting the girls involved as well. - Yeah, bring them along. - 'Cause it's like, it feels like everyone can enjoy it. - Yeah. - It is really fun. - It's not like just the guys only space. And it means that it's a great chance that people watch. I love watching men's faces kind of so illuminated by joy. You know, also the very safe environment to be in, weirdly, I know that it probably isn't in a more practical level, like being in a pub full of like football watching men. But there's something actually very safe about it because they're also distractive there. - They're not gonna harass you. - They're not clear. - They're de-cored, they're de-fanged. - Right. - It's like they've got the happy baby, like those dogs on the screen. - They've got no teeth. - Then more and more dangers if England win or lose. - Definitely if they lose. - Definitely if they lose. - Yeah. - Definitely if they lose. - Then like the, you know, the aggression of winning. - But as the game is sort of on like around that sort of 38 minute mark when it's just like pure bliss, the dancing fruits on the screen, you feel like you're in a lovely-- - The dancing fruits on the screen. - The dancing fruits on the screen. - Now let's just-- - I don't usually call them that enough. - And that's a slow laugh. - No, you know what I mean, they're baby videos. - You can't believe it. - You can't believe it. - The baby videos. - The baby videos. - You know those baby videos. - We don't have young children in our lives. - Go on. The dancing fruits on the screen and the 38 minute mark of every football game. A dancing fruit comes on the screen. - Yeah, I'm sorry, you've made zero sense. - No, what is going on? - I know what you mean. But he doesn't know what you mean. - I mean, I'm talking about the-- - They're not allowed to make it. - The peak minute sort of of the game would be like just before half time, right? - Yeah, this fits all good. It's the dancing fruit. - The dancing fruits. I'm saying that the football is the equivalent of those baby videos that are those dancing fruits on the screen. - We don't know what those are. - It's like, it's like-- - We don't watch baby videos. - No, it's not. I don't know how to watch baby videos either. - Viral. - It's sounding a bit like you watch baby videos. - It's those dancing fruits. - The more you say it, it's not gonna make even more sense. - And it's gone really viral online because the people do it to music and the fruits are sort of bobbing around like this and even adults are sometimes like mesmerized. But they're made for babies. I'm saying that's what the football is. - What does it look like? - It's my first video. - It's my first video. It's like my first TikTok type vibe. - It's my first video. The baby brain, what's the least that you need to be entertained? It's for dancing, right? - I'm just saying with the men, they're all passing away. - Yeah. - And they're watching it like that. - Oh, right. - They're so happy. - So they're like kids-- - They're watching band of brothers. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like kids watching these dancing fruits. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Right, that's the men of the 38th minute of the football. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - And if they're two beers in, but they're halfway through the second beer, so they're very chill that happens. But they're not fucking Aggie yet. I'm just saying that's a lovely moment. If I can get a snapshot of the moment in the pub, that's a nice place to be. Sorry. That's what I did. - Paul has accepted. - Yeah, that's okay. - Oh, you guys are fucking annoying. - Andrew's hung over today. - No, none of your business. - Yeah. - What type of do you get in? - I don't actually know. - You love hooks, you loud? - You loud? - I had a chatted-- - You're so funny when you're driving. I literally can never tell until we've been speaking of like 10 minutes, 'cause you seem so normal. - Yeah, it's actually quite dangerous. - Unbelievable how well you can hold your boots. - Kind of. - I feel like your body is like just like one of those animations where the liquid just slowly fills up like from your feet. - Yeah. - And you'll be like up here and you can still talk completely coherently. - I can always talk pretty much unless I've passed out kind of thing. - It's the first thing that goes for me. I start slurring my words. - I don't block out. - Do you not block out? - No. I remember everything. I didn't eat dinner until I got in last night and I can remember everything that happened. - Really? - That was the problem. Didn't eat dinner before me. - Yeah, absolutely. - You're worried. - You're worried. - We did a pub quiz and a quite a few biz. But then. - How'd you do on the quiz? - Poorly. - Poorly. - Yeah, I couldn't really see the sheet anymore, but. No, we did fine. Max is very good at quizzing, so you know that, but. No, we did, if you don't eat, you're just going to get like four times more fuck than you were, do you know what I mean? We didn't have loads of biz, but we had enough for this to be a tough day. But you know, it's coming home, so I'll be out in the pub again. Doing it all again. - Doing it all again. - We've got to try and be a little bit more sensible in the lead-ups class number, so that we can be really fresh for the festival, right? - Segue. - Very nice. - What's he going to do? - I think I'm fucking right. - Wow. - How do you feel about customary? - Excited. I think that's the word I'd use. - You're looking at cream, you're fast. (laughing) - I didn't cream my pants last time. I pooed them. - I reckon people that don't have a chip before you go. - I think you should have a chip before you go as well. - I think we all need to do it before we go. - Yeah. - Everyone. - Are we all good? (laughing) - We learn. We learn all that soon. - For people that don't know. (laughing) Last year I had to make an earlier exit than desirable from Glasgow Festival. Because I contracted a stomach bone from a swimming pool because I went swimming on the day I left and a man was doing it. - Smuggly as well. - Smuggly. I deserved everything I got, I guess, because I was happy that I went for a swim. And then a guy was doing a very aggressive breaststroke and when we were in the same lane, I ended up swallowing a whole load of that water. And that was when there was kids swimming in that pool. There were kids in the pool at that time. - Yeah. - That was when a stomach bubble was going around. - Yeah. - But, just it's worth saying, 'cause I sold the story again last night. It's a quick one. But when I was so, I had to leave glossary on the Saturday. - I then went to the train station and there's two geezers. Two geezers there who were taking people's wristbands and giving them 50 quid for it. 'Cause no, these guy, everyone's leaving the festival. - And then at this point, I thought my drink was spiked. That's what I thought was happening. So this guy came over and he was like, "Do you wanna, can I pay you 50 quid for your wristbands?" Absolutely. And then he went, he had to call the other guy to come over to take the wristband. And he was like, "So, he needed to make small talk "at this point." And he was like, "Why are you leaving the festival then?" I was like, "I don't know, I think my drink got spiked "or something and I could just, "just not gonna be able to recover. "So I think it's probably the best." I go, "Oh, well, so that is like, oh, right, yeah." Didn't get raped, did you? I said, "No, but what I really like." - It was like, yeah. - Didn't get raped, did you? - You gotta say you at least, did you? - Yeah, in hindsight I should've said yes, just to see what he would do. - Yeah, what's the plan? - Yeah, what's the fucking plan, mate? - Oh, damn. - Damn. - That's a tough one. Yeah, you probably should go home. Fair enough. So prospects are looking better for this year. I'm not gonna go swimming before. I'm not gonna go swimming until, up until at an hour, I reckon. - And I think it's probably just best to not over prep too much 'cause like seeing all of these, I fucking lose his videos. - Professional gas debris, 17 times on the road. - It's the only time I've happened. The 10 thing is that you absolutely need to burn. It's so embarrassing. Ew, I don't wanna go now, do you? - Do you wanna do one about making sure that you go to the toilet before that's at all the time? - Don't go to swimming pools and drink the pool or something. - That's all of the one good, right? - I'm gonna go for a pick. - I didn't, I threw up mostly, guys. - I know. - It wasn't just for a baby, my God. I felt so awful for you. - It was a tough one. - It's gonna be so much better. - It kept me awake all night. - And the weather's finally good. Do you know what I mean? - Yeah, well, I think it's fast, we don't, though. - It is, it's gonna be great. - The weather is looking good. I think it is, it's gonna, a couple of light showers is what I'm seeing. - Yeah, that's okay. - Well, how are you feeling for Glastonbury? - I'm excited, I'm, I kind of like, I've put a lot on it for, I've put a lot of pressure on it to be-- - For your mental health. - My whole summer to be packed into that, like all my enjoyment's gonna be into that week. - Yeah. - So I'm sort of working up until I'm hoping I can switch off and I hope I don't put too much pressure on it down there. I'm like, well, I've got to enjoy every second of this. - Yeah. - I think what was so good about last year was just the fact that it was very laid back and it just wandered around and there was no pressure, you know? So that's what it's gonna be this year, ready? - Yeah. - Otherwise, it'll be a measurable summer without any fun times. - Yeah, it's just about whether the weather, if we have another shit summer, I think that will-- - That's the, that's it for me. - I think we might have to-- - I'd jump right in. - We might have to, I'd jump up and grease. - Yeah. - Yeah? - I mean, my time will, yeah. - I think there will be a lot more of an exodus. We have two, if the economy keeps taking, we have two shit summers in a row. I do think there will be a lot more people leaving and there's already starting to happen that people are leaving. - 'Cause last year was shit, wasn't it? I can't remember. - Terrible summer. - We didn't really get a proper summer last year. - Yeah. - And I remember that winter sucked even more because of how bad the summer was. - Well, this is meant to be the wettest one on record. - Yeah. - Oh, for fuck's sake. - The creamiest summer. - The creamiest summer ever. - The creamiest summer ever. Oh. - Stop screaming, God. (laughing) - Do you think that's what rain is? Do you think that's God's calm? - You can't say that, isn't it? - That's crazy. - We have such a high percentage of Christian listeners. (laughing) That is outrageous. But yes, I do think it is. I think it probably is. - It's definitely not God's too great. - If Jesus dropped that, do you know what I mean? - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Shut that in the Bible. - Yeah. - Matthew, verse four. - Or, he comes down. - Is God's calm? - Or he comes down and he has one thing to, one extra thing, one addendum to the Bible. - Yeah, yeah. - But if he comes back now. - Yeah. - And then he goes. - Rain is God's calm. (laughing) - He goes back up. - What do you know how the Pope would deal with that? I think you'd have, even Jelikos would have to make that a huge part of their belief. - How would you do it? I mean, you can't really. - Maybe that's why they say that rain on the way days means good things for fertility. - No, you'd have rituals where you make rain water as a sign of fertility. You're very respectful of rain. - Yeah. - Well, God's calm is sacred, mate. - Yeah. - What are you talking about? - And that's how it sort of-- - God's calm is the most sacred part about him. - Yeah. - He made that made Jesus. - Yeah. - Then what's hail? - Whoa. (laughing) - Who's better? - God's like a kidney stone. - God's better than Jesus, right? - Yeah. - God's better than Jesus. - Jesus is the star of the show with Christianity, but it's still-- - Yeah, God's the main guy, right? - It's a tough question to answer because it's so profound. - Because Jesus is the big, he's what makes it all Christian in that. - What's going on? - Do you know what I mean? - Jesus is the specific Christian part of it. - Well, Christians have a specific God that's different. - I guess so, but Jesus is there like, he's the champion, he's the-- - Well, there's Jeshua, isn't it? It comes from Jeshua. - Jewish? - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's the same God, I think. - So it's Joshua. - That's the Old Testament God, that's Jewish God. - Yeah, where are you initially going? - In English-speaking countries that are called Joshua, is that the equivalent of Jose's and Spanish-speaking countries? - It's a great question. - Oh, no, not Jose. - Not for going. - Jesus. - There's none of our business. - Yeah. - Frankly. - I'm not googling that one. - No, you didn't, you didn't. - I nearly did, but no, you might be right. - Who's headline? - Godfrey, yeah. - Colplay. - Do a leap. - We've got to see Colplay, I guess. - Yeah, we've got to see Colplay. They're the first man to have headlined it five times. - Oh, no. - Yeah. - You should write that on a sign and bring it to your master move. - Oh, I don't like to see Colplay. I don't think so, but you had a plan last year, didn't you? Like, you are really into music yourself. - Oh, yeah, I'll get a plan. So can you make the plan for us, I think? - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah, can we encourage you don't fucking know anything about this thing? - I'm gonna go through the app and get it sorted very soon, but no, I haven't done it yet. I don't know if the lineup's better or not. I can't really remember. - And you guys are doing a little speaking engagement, aren't you? - Oh, I can't make it. - I'm performing Shangri-La 3 p.m. I'm sort of performing. I'm doing a live podcast with a guy where, it's like a hyper left wing guy. - Yeah. - And it's like, and one of those truth stages, you know, where you're like, it's like, it's important foundational ideas. - Yeah. - Get sprung up when we all talk about radical things and we're not allowed to talk to them. - That's why I go to Shangri-La. - And then he wants me on because of when we talk about the monarchy, I think he heard a podcast clip. - Yeah. - And so he wants to just kind of redo that. I don't really know what- - He wants to talk about the monarchy. - Yeah, I think he thinks that we're like, we'll give them what for, but I don't know. - And so you're not gonna do it? - I cut my bus gets in like, at the time of the thing. There's a chance I can run and make it, but I don't think it's gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. - I don't think so. - And then Patty and Sam are fucking performing, which is hilarious. - C'mon. - Can't avoid them, it was let's be all after me. - Really? - But then she dropped out sadly. Splitter. Well guys, it's been an absolute joy. - Is that sarcastic? How long are we in? - We'll do a short one today. - Yeah, okay. - Unless you were saying I still quit. - Someone proved me right about the hay fever thing. - Oh yeah. - The seven years thing. Did you see someone comment on Patreon? - No, I didn't see that. - Someone comment on Patreon saying, someone has seven year cycles and Asma is quite linked to hay fever, so my dad isn't talking rubbish, so thank you to whoever comments that. - What's the seven year cycle thing? - My dad said that hay fever, and I didn't have hay fever last year, didn't have it. And then I was like, "Shit, maybe it's just gone, "maybe I've grown out of it." And my dad was like, "No, it just goes, "every seven years it will go." And I already showed. - Apparently you have a seven year hair cycle as well, so maybe it's a good one. - Maybe, maybe it's a good one. - Does he know what my dad says? - But yeah, he laughed at me, and then someone's commented. - Well, I think seven is a separate number. - So yeah, what my dad says, what he strongly believes is that apparently every seven years, all of your cells are new, so it takes seven years to have every single cell of your body to be regenerated over time. - Right. - So every seven year point is like a key spiritual point in your life. - Yes. - They're just seven, they're just 14, 21, we're coming up to 28. - Which is the Saturn return as well. - Don't care about that. (laughing) - We're talking about cells. (laughing) - So I guess next year, we're going to be into our fourth form, I guess. - What, new cells? New cells, new cells, new mate? - We'll just have like a, that'll be a reset, that'll be, 21 will be entirely different cells. - Me and Andrew are still 26, okay? So do you old man-- - Yes, suck a fanny. - Suck a fanny. - Taking to us. - Suck a fanny. - Suck a fanny. - Oh, 27 just feels so much older than 26 as well. - What? - That's really the end of your mid-20s, isn't it? 27 is late-20s now, isn't it? - It's been a pleasure having you on, babe. - Fucking long. You're so nasty, you're such a nasty cunt. - You got into plug? You're doing a buddy show in Edinburgh. - I am doing a show in Edinburgh. - A little brilliant show. - Called the Screen Test, my last preview in London is going to be on the 11th of July at 7th at CPM at the Henning Chicken's Theatre in Islington. Please come. - It'd be great, please do come, it's great. And then if you're in Edinburgh, I've got a show, but I take it, go see both mine and baby shows, they're at five hours apart, so you can be an awesome double bill. (both laughing) - And yeah, you want to hit a plug, Drew? You got anything you're working on? - I'll be in Waitrose later. (both laughing) - You're going to chose the last time in a Waitrose. - Are you trying to-- - I've tried to-- - Never. - I'm trying to press it. - Drop the show. - They go to Waitrose. I did actually get Waitrose delivered the other day, because the other place didn't have the buttons I wanted, so we got time. (both laughing) - Who would do two short ones? - Yeah, yeah. - B-R-B. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)