Align Within
8. Overcoming perfectionism and how you can embrace imperfection
Whether you're looking at your content and you're not feeling like it's perfect, right? It's still really powerful to put that out there because at the end of the day it's all about the message that you're trying to portray, right? And it's the same for me. It's all about my message. It's not about how it looks. Obviously, that helps. That is adding to the experience when someone is watching my channel, but it's not about how it looks unless you are genuinely a content creator that is all based on visuals. But me and my friend and loads of other people that want to create something, if you don't put it out there, you'll just keep sitting on your ideas and sitting on your ideas and sitting on your ideas and nothing will come off it. Like, the best thing to do is just put it out there. Hello, my loves, and welcome to Align Within, a podcast to bring awareness to your most authentic self and guide it in a way to help you ignite the infinite wisdom within your own being and consciousness. Posted by Lauren Fleck, a multi-passionate playful spiritual authentic freedom seeker who absolutely loves to dive deep into all things spiritual, sacred wisdom, being consciously aware and unapologetically authentic, just to name a few. So within each episode, we're going to be discussing a range of topics based on new and old age spirituality. Found and shared through my own personal experiences as well as through the experiences of others around me. So we can collectively heal and continue the journey with a more playful and not so serious approach. So take what resonates and leave the rest behind, and if you want to dive deeper, you can follow Align Within for more GC episodes. All links are within the show notes, so let's jump in. Hello, my loves and welcome back to yet another video. If you're new here, welcome, and if you are returning, then welcome back, my loves. Thank you so much for being here. Remember to subscribe if you vibe, hit the thumbs up if you like this video, and don't forget to hit the bell button. If you want to be notified of every video that I upload, which is weekly, by the way. Today, I wanted to talk about recovering perfectionism, or just why I'm just tired. I'm just tired. I'm tired of being a perfectionist in my creative endeavors in life. Yeah, basically, hi, hello, I'm Lauren, and I'm a recovering perfectionist. Welcome to my video. So today's a perfect example, because basically, I'm just going to, I'm just having a chitchat with you guys. I'm just having a chitchat with you today because I have started my day, right? I started my day with the intention of sitting here, recording, like four to five videos. So I've got videos ready and prepared for me to post now. I can't make things perfect, right? And I have tried in my life to do my creative endeavors that I usually do, but try and make them perfect. i.e. like videos that I've put out, I've spent more time and hours on those videos than necessary just to make them, quote unquote, perfect when they're never ever perfect in my eyes. There's always an essence of like growing and evolving in those places, but I have literally tried to be perfect in so many areas of my life. And I just find that the way things work for me, especially with my technology that I own and that I use to make these videos and to record this footage and all of that, I can't, it's like not allowing me to get stuck in that energy of like it needs to be perfect, it needs to be perfect. Like, it doesn't need to be perfect, nothing is perfect, I am tired of trying to make things perfect. If you find that you're a recovering perfectionist, hey, hello, hi, I get you, I understand you, don't worry, I got you, okay? If you find that you're a recovering perfectionist, then I fully feel you, man, I feel you, sister. I myself too have been that person where you'll find when you are a recovering perfectionist, say you have this idea of a creation that you want to create, you have this idea of something that you want to put out into the world, right? But then you find yourself sitting on that idea for the longest time ever because it's not perfect, because you haven't got the perfect idea yet, and then you can't have this idea and then you don't end up putting it out and then you can't have another idea and you don't have to put it out, or you can't have an idea, you film the footage, let me use YouTube as an example, and my channel is an example, right, you film the footage and then you don't like what you've actually filmed, so then you just don't put anything out, or you actually film the footage, you record the audio, you start creating it, but then something isn't how you expected it to be, so I don't think it didn't turn out how you wanted it to turn out, so therefore you just don't bother doing it, and then you halfway through your video decide to stop editing it because you're like, no, that's not perfect, sorry, but not everything is going to be perfect. Just something just happened that was actually causing technology is frustrating me today, I'm feeling very aggravated by it because it's just causing me to not have a nice, easy workflow today, and like I said at the beginning of this video about how I thought I was going to smash out all these videos and get all this and that done, and then things have just gotten in the way and caused my workflow to take far longer than it needs to, it just made me laugh and it made me think, well, I think we need to talk about perfectionism because this is just a perfect example of like, things aren't always going to be perfect, things aren't always going to flow easily and you've just got to accept it and move on, okay, like you just have to get on with it basically, you just have to get on with it, okay, and if you sit on the fact that you're wanting it to be perfect, you're never going to push off stuff out, there'll never be this momentum, this ball rolling in the process of creation, like everyone starts off somewhere in their life, in their journey, in their experience, in their creative endeavors, everyone starts from somewhere and if you go all the way back to the beginning of each and every person's channel, people that are like super super duper successful in their YouTube career or super duper successful, successful in their art career or photography career or musical career, like you go way back, you go way back, go way back, right, and it might not be as great as the newest post, for example, right, they might not be as confident in their content from the original process to how they are now, right, but they just put their self out there, they just started it, regardless of whether it was going to be perfect or not. Now, I know quite a few people, myself included, right, that has done this, I've even had conversations with friends this year about how they don't feel like their content they're creating is as good as this other page, right, for example, so my friend, she's just started her first, she's just started her business and she has, she's gotten, what am I fucking saying? So, my friend, and I hope she doesn't mind me talking about this, she has just started her business right, bless her, she's doing amazing, she used to have an Instagram page but she just never posted pictures, she never posted content on there at all, it just wasn't her thing. I'm actually going to be getting her on this channel because her message is really strong and the reason why she went on that journey is so powerful and so inspiring, she's started to post on Instagram and I remember having this conversation with her about her content because I've obviously been doing content for a really long time and when you go from just starting out, I understand the feeling of like the fear that comes with it, the fear of showing up, the fear of putting your face out there, the fear of making content, if you're not sure what to do, like having to learn it all yourself. We had a conversation and she was worrying about her content not being perfect basically and I've been there and she's talking to me because she knows, she knows I know what it's like, right, she was comparing her content to someone who's been doing it for the longest time, right, so when she showed me what she'd done, I was so impressed with her content, straight off that I was like, this is amazing, like this is so amazing, I love what you've done but to her it was like, no but it's not perfect and then comparing it to someone else's page who's been doing it for the longest time, I just remember saying to her, I was like, listen, that person who done that content started off somewhere, right, she started off from scratch so if you scroll all the way back, all the way down to the bottom of her page and you find her content from like five years ago, I guarantee you it is not to the quality that it is out now, you have to start somewhere, so whether you're looking at your content and you're not feeling like it's perfect, right, it's still really powerful to put that out there because at the end of the day it's all about the message that you're trying to portray, right, and it's the same for me, it's all about my message, it's not about how it looks, obviously that helps, that is adding to the experience when someone is watching my channel but it's not about how it looks unless you are genuinely a content creator that is all based on visuals, but me and my friend and loads of other people that want to create something, if you don't put it out there, you'll just keep sitting on your ideas and sitting on your ideas and sitting on your ideas and nothing will come of it The best thing to do is just put it out there, I've been telling a lot of people this because I've been there, like I haven't posted videos because I haven't been happy with them, I will tell you an example actually, I did a vlog with me and my friend Camilla, I literally only posted it a couple of weeks ago, right, it's the second multivlog and I nearly didn't continue and edit it, I nearly didn't continue, wait, how am I saying this, I nearly didn't continue to edit that because there was a scene in it that I thought in my head, I'd imagined it to be this way and when I actually started watching the footage, there was so much wind, you could barely hear us, it was either that or I just use it as like a b-roll type thing I remember seeing it and instantly made me feel like I didn't want to put that out there, it was instantly like I don't want to put this out there and I'm like that's annoyed me, it's not how I expected it to be, it's not how I wanted it to be, it's not perfect But then I went back to it and I carried on editing and do you know what, it turned out great and I had such a great time finishing off editing it, I enjoy editing vlogs anyway, I always find it really fun to do So I actually had the best time continuing to edit that and I'm so glad I did and now the video is live on YouTube and now it's a beautiful memory that I can come back to in years down the line and just be like wow look what we did Camilla, we had such a great time It's really hard, it's challenging sometimes being a perfectionist because you end up not being ever fully content and happy with what you've made And I think that's what has been one of the problems for me in the past and the problems for other people is that you make something and then you're not happy with it and then you pick it apart and edit it so much that you sometimes cut out some really potent parts and potent points, potent points It's like with YouTube videos, for me when I first started making my podcast episodes right, this is a perfect example actually, and today again I'm going to go and move on to that. Just a quick intervention my loves, don't forget to subscribe, give us a thumbs up if you like this video, leave a comment down in the comment section below if you have taken anything from this video that has really resonated with you and hit the bell button if you want to get notified of every single time they upload, I upload a video every single week so stay tuned for that. It's my first ever podcast, I was like right, this has got to be good because it's my first podcast, it's my first full episode, I need this to be right, I've got to set up my space right, I've got to make sure I have a nice backdrop, nice mic, got my camera And then I recorded, it's made me check then, I recorded my full episode and it wasn't until I finished recording and then I thought, let me check the mic, did I turn that on and it looked down at the mic and it was switched off and I was like, so basically I recorded the whole episode through my camera and my iMac I was so pissed off about it because I was like, oh for God's sake, it's my first episode, it's a podcast, audio is so important when you're listening to podcasting, it is also on my YouTube channel though so go and check it out if you like that kind of stuff, but yeah I was just like, oh and then there were so many times I went back and forth with the idea of like, should I just delete it and redo it so that I have good audio and I had this battle with myself for a while and I just thought, do you know what, no, that is not what this is about, just put it out there, you spent so much time sitting there and creating it just because you want a good audio quality, this is a one off now, you're learning from your mistakes and that is another thing right, if you put something out there that you're not completely happy with but you have done what you can to make it the best it can be because I think at the end of the day you have given your 100% of 80% Does that make sense, so you know when they say I put 100% into your passions right, and if what you've created is only 80% of what you want your 100% to be, you have still put your 100% into that 80% Does that make sense, okay, so no matter what, you've still put 100% of energy and time and love and care into your creation and people will see that, people will completely see that and vibe with it and be like, this is sick You know, you're gonna have people out there that are gonna like vibe with what you've done, 100% there's always someone out there into what you're into, there's always someone out there that enjoys what you create, there's always someone out there that likes what you say, likes what you do Resonates with your energy, resonates with your words, resonates with what it is that you're creating I just put it out there and I had to let go of the attachment of the perfectionism and that happened, but not just the first episode, but the second episode as well And there's been so many things that have happened, I think one of my episodes, if you listen to it, there's one section in that episode where you hear the audio quality switch to my camera Because as I was going through the editing, I must have forgotten to turn the camera audio off on the editing app that I was using So there's just a section, a really small section that you can hear on my camera audio and then it goes back to the mic audio And I only realized once I had posted it live on YouTube and I re-watched it, because I always re-watched my videos as soon as I posted my videos, I'll always re-watch it from the beginning until the end It's good for you to do that, by the way, if you have a YouTube channel to just watch it straight away But yeah, so I was listening and I was like, "Ah, damn it, I'm so annoyed, I missed that" and then I was just like, "You know what, it's what it is" People might be like, "Oh, she forgot to turn the audio off there, but it's not gonna be the end of the world" Okay, it's not the end of the world, it's out there at the end of the day And it's not about that small little minor audio quality at the end of the day, for me, it's about my message that I'm sharing If I had deleted this first episode, I may have not remembered certain things that I said in that episode That could have been really, really impactful for some people to hear And then the second episode, oh my gosh, I was having a battle with that for the longest time Because I recorded from two separate spaces, so I had my camera and my phone and I was recording from both And then I was having to like shift at all the audios and all that together, right? And the amount of times I'd said to my partner, "I'm so tempted to redo it" and you know how long the episode was? It was like two hours long and I had to edit it down And that's why I was like, "I don't know whether I'm gonna put this out there" because I said, "Like so much in it" and I said, "I'm so much in it" It's been something that bothers me every time I'm recording or editing I notice how much I say like, I notice how much I say "I'm in my content" and I have to cut quite a lot of it out And it just takes a lot of time And the fact that this video was two hours long, it was taking me so much time I was just thinking, "Oh, I could just redo it, I could make it shorter" and it doesn't have to be as long And my partner was like, "Why? Just keep it?" and I was like, "Yeah, actually, I might as well just keep it" Because it's taken me so much time to edit already so much and then to record it and all of this So I had to just release the attachment to the perfectionism, just put it out there Who cares about all these little things and these parts and just put it out there At the end of the day, you've got to get down to the root of why you're doing it and the root of why it actually lights you up and the root of why you find happiness within it You know, get down to the root of that, for me, it's all about the message It's all about the message, so my quality could be a little bit shit But my message is so powerful that actually that reaches through to people, I think just adding these elements to it eventually It helps you sharpen things up a little bit and just make it that little bit tighter over time But you've got to release the attachment to it being perfect from the get-go because it's never going to be perfect And it's definitely not perfect for me now, even still, you know, I record and I edit, I think at a very basic level Personally, like, even just down to like using a mic, that confused the hell out of me at first and I was like But now I actually really like it, I enjoy holding it and I enjoy having that and it's fun and I talk with my hands anyway So it gives me something to hold in my hand, so I'm not like flapping my hands around everywhere For today, for example, as I said at the beginning, I started off thinking my workflow would be nice and flowy And I had it all day and everyone's out of the house, quiet time to record perfect, right? Doesn't happen often And then I sit here and I start recording, my camera's fully charged and then midway through my conversation That I'm having to the camera, potentially just too hot and it just shuts itself down and then I'm like shit So then I have to stop and then I'm having to remember what I've said And then I've got to give my camera time to like, cool down, press and record, I'm chatting away And then I look down and I realise that my recording through my mic has stopped and I don't know when that stopped, it stopped ages ago So that means that there's a certain section where I'm just going to be hearing camera quality audio rather than mic quality audio And then hit play again, started recording on my camera again, and then my camera literally decided to get too hot and over heat And then it shut down and I was like, classic! And it was just these things that you just think, oh gosh, that video is not going to be perfect But you know what, at the end of the day, it's about the message and I could go, oh screw it, I can just do it all over again But why? Just do it, just put it out there, like everyone starts somewhere and I'm sure what you create is amazing Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, we can be our biggest inner critic I have definitely been my biggest inner critic, get down to the root of why you enjoy doing it You don't enjoy it for it to be perfect, do you? You just create because you want to create When you're creating from a joyous place, from a fun place, from a place that is lighting you up You can tell it comes across better in whatever it is that you make When you come from a place of like, okay, I need to make this perfect, this needs to be perfect, it can end up becoming quite robotic I still don't know to this day how to intro my videos And there's been a few times, if you go back on my channel and you see some of my videos from like a few years ago You'll see that at one point I remember I had a script, but now I'm just like I just go with what I'm feeling on that date and I don't necessarily have like a specific intro that I start off with And I just start with how I feel, I want to start and I end with how I feel I want to end I don't have a specific script like I used to at some point, because that just wasn't working for me because it felt too robotic Because I was trying to be perfect, I was trying to add this perfectionism to my videos and stuff Don't get me wrong, I still try and add elements to it to just enhance the viewing experience for you guys Because it matters to me, it does matter to me, but when it comes from a place of like trying to be perfect That's when it's like this isn't feeling as good, so just try and do it from a fun place I find loving, gentle kind of place, kind, loving and gentle to yourself, from yourself But yeah, I'm tired of being a perfectionist, who's with me? Who is with me? Are you with me? Right now I'm currently sweating, I'm so hot and absolutely roasting But there's also another thing about perfectionism, right? You find, right? If you batch create your content You tend to like change your outfit every time, that's what I've done anyway I recorded a video before I recorded this, wearing this same thing and I just could have changed it And I was like, happy to ask. At the end of the day, everyone knows that we all, you know, batch create and when we batch create We change our clothes, and it's only to just change up the scene a little bit more What I will say, to stop yourself from being a recovering perfectionist, right? The first thing that you create, just put it out there If you want to share stuff online, and you're more so concerned about what other people are going to think Just remember to come back down to the root of why you enjoy doing it and share from that space And if something scares you to share it, just share it Something that you love and something that you want to do, you want to share, but you've been resisting it because it's not perfect Then I invite you to share, I give you the permission slip, to share, to just share, go for it, do it You've got this, I'm sure it's incredible, I'm sure it's amazing We are our own worst inner critic and people love our work, sometimes more than we love it And I can say that from experience because there is someone in my life that creates stuff on a regular daily basis And every time I absolutely love what they create, I absolutely love what they do Such vibes, but they are their own worst inner critic and not necessarily enjoying every single thing I'm liking it, but not being excited about it, I'm excited about it every time because I'm just like, it's amazing It's so amazing, celebrating you, so I'm celebrating all of you Welcome to the recovering perfectionist group Welcome, I'm trying to be less of a perfectionist with my videos, with my editing Because it just takes so much more time, and I don't have time to take too much time on these videos, I don't For me, it's like learning to just be comfortable with my arms and be comfortable with my likes And be comfortable with being imperfect, because we are all imperfect We are all perfectly imperfect, that's a good term, I believe we are all perfectly imperfect And I think that's a beautiful thing, so take from this what you will If this resonated with you, leave a comment down in the comment section below, what resonated with you the most Thank you so much for watching, I'm sending you so much love, I'm so grateful for you all And have a wonderful, gorgeous, most beautiful, transformative, light, joyful day Much love, mwah, bye! 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