In this week’s FBA Podcast, Ratnaprabha gives us: “How To Have Fun” – A Look at the Buddhist path in terms of happiness, engagement, interest and delight. A new take on the positive nidanas.
Talk given at the West London Buddhist Centre
Free Buddhist Audio
How To Have Fun
(upbeat music) - This podcast is brought to you by Free Buddhist Audio, the Dharma for your life. Our work is funded entirely by donations from our generous listeners. If you would like to help us keep this free, make a contribution at freebuddhistaudio.com/donate. Thank you and happy listening. - So, yes, I only realized I was doing this at a top asked for this afternoon. And I think, yes, how to have fun. I thought, well, it's terrible, it's not generally because everybody knows how to have fun. I mean, you can't really tell other people how to have fun, can you? - I don't think everyone wants to know. - Well, sometimes we forget. I mean, sometimes it happens, but I don't think you can say, you know, learn salsa dancing and then I guarantee you'll have fun because you may not actually, you may hate it. You may absolutely love it. So, I don't really think it's possible to sort of give fun to other people. It's sort of a discovery of it. And sometimes you find yourself having it. And in a way, it's just because you just let go. You've completely let go. You're just really uninhibited, aren't you? And you just find that you can sort of get into the swing of things. It's very, very difficult to sort of set it up in advance. But I thought at least I could ask people how they do do it. So, so if you think back to a time when you were having a lot of fun, it might be very brief. Might have been a very long time ago. But if you think back to maybe even what was the most fun you've ever had. But I'm not including without any clothes on and in bed. You see what I mean. And not including sex, just because that might be a bit embarrassing to have to describe that in great detail. But apart from that, it might have been when you were a kid, but it might be something more recent. It may just be something because it wasn't maybe the most fun you've ever had. But it was fun, yes. - Can I ask you something? - Yes. - Can you please define the work of fun? - No, I'm not going to do that. - No, because I think I'm just lading, you know. - Yes. - And I'm wondering if having fun is, but it's something to do with the work of funny. So, when you do something funny, do you have fun that's just about feeling happy? - Sometimes people do find funniness, fun, don't they? Funniness in the sense of humor. - Okay. - I was asking somebody else earlier today about having fun. And I said, well, were you smiling all the time? Because I thought probably when you're having fun, you tend to be smiling. But even that, apparently, that's not necessarily the case. But I think that's maybe a sign of it, if you find yourself smiling. But I think for the moment, I'll let people define themselves. I'll give you a minute just to think about it before, so don't say anything yet. So, this is a question. What's the most fun you've ever had? Or maybe the most fun recently? (audience applauding) Anybody thought of something? - And do you have fun painting? - Painting? Like painting decorating? - No, painting. - Painting pictures, huh? - Yes. - Especially flowers are like painting, huh, painting? - Yes. - And seeing that flower, how cool are you there? - Yes. - I thought that's a very beautiful thing, just it's quite weird. - And just painting? And that's fun, is it? Just sitting there, just trying to paint the flower. You lose yourself, you lose yourself, yeah. It's like painting meditation when you come out, or when you're painting, you come out of it. Feeling really good. - Oh, yeah. Thank you. - Yes. - Thank you. - Are you there? - Oh, I'm thinking of a fantastic time I had a foot of field. And we are in this t-pee, all lying down on shapes consisting of two tree tails. (laughing) I thought it was a little bit hippy, too. (laughing) - And then we went out, we all went out of the t-pee. And then in the middle of this, it's absolutely dark. And in the middle of this field, there was a guy playing a cholo. And, almost sort of like on top of him before. You know, you could hear the cholo. - Yes. - And then I realized actually there's a guy sitting in the middle of this field playing a cholo, singing poetry to him. And it was just fantastic, it's lovely. - So why was that such fun? - No, no, you couldn't see anything, it's great. You could just hear the music drifting across the field. Lovely. - And why was it such fun, you know? - It was just so unexpected, like even though you were in the imagination, you could then have sort of invented. - Yes. - Or put a person in the middle of the field playing a cholo of a certain poetry to himself. - So it was a special holiday, you probably wouldn't have signed up for it, it's the unexpectedness of it. - Yes, it was lovely, no, it was beautiful, you know, beautiful and, yeah. - Anything else? - It sounded a bit, I don't think you should say, it's actually going on a retreat. And we had a great fun, just a kind of job, job. - Do you think you had a particular retreat? - The last one, the wonderful. - And a long, a long, long-ass retreat, actually. Just a job, myself, not to be somebody else. It's great. - Mm. - It's still spontaneous, I guess. - Can you describe it a bit more, so what was fun about it? - I think it looked under the sample points on the white. - Mm-hmm. - Well, anyway, I'll have a look up. I would have looked at it a little bit, maybe it would be a bit less sense of holding on, but trying to keep things together. - Mm-hmm. - The whole problem is just so that it's fine, it was fine, actually. - Both. - People think a lot through, I'm pleased hearing themselves. - Some people were laughing. - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughs) - It was a good time, yes. - Yeah, it was fine. - Yeah, I think, I think, for me, you know, fun does involve, tends to involve, you know, other people, you know, friends, you know, good friends, and, you know, being in some kind of, for me, it seems to me some kind of fairly kind of contained. See, I'm just thinking of, yeah, I'm thinking of my ordination retreat, 'cause I had a lot of fun on that. That was, that was just great fun. With, you know, people like Pamapani and... - Pamapani is guaranteed Pamapanis, isn't he? - Yeah, yeah, he was, he was my kind of, I think we were given kind of guardians. You know, yeah, kind of mentors or something, I don't know what the word you said they used, but, hey, I had Pamapani and he's blue. But, you know, kind of Scottish, Glasgow, you know, a hard man. And, they would, you know, we'd just had a lot of fun, actually, and had a lot of fun with Mokshiraj as well. We just, you know, we had a good, good laugh. It was, it was just, it was just great. And, yeah, on another occasion, I remember a lot of fun is, when I was quite young, we'll get very young, actually, and I was working in a mental hospital. And, we took some of the, some of the more kind of advanced people off on holiday to Chroma. We had this, this holiday in Chroma. And I've never, I've never had such a good time in my life. - No! - But I was really, a very good friend of mine, we were both kind of working at this place, and the, the people on this night, they just, they were just, they had such a good time, and they were just so funny. And it was just fantastic. Just laughed, like it laughed all the time. And, you know, it was fantastic. So, for me, anyway, it tends to be quite kind of structured. And quite kind of, sociable, and kind of innocent as well, you know, doesn't seem to, it doesn't, you know, seems to be quite, yeah. - For me, I think it's things that happen unexpectedly, I won't explain it. - And suddenly I realise, oh, this is, I don't really think it's fun, because when you said that, first I thought, well, I don't think it was fun, you know, I bet other people had a lot more fun than me. But I do actually have, I was thinking about it after that, because I think I was sort of, I was brought up, and I think I live with a sense that's sort of being crushed, and probably, you know, would sort of be quiet as children, or something like that. And so, I think I have a, it doesn't strike me, they'll have a lot of fun in my life. I imagine I'll be, I don't know what to say. But actually, I think I have fun at work with the kids. I mean, things that come out at the moment when they go up, and then in groups, you know, with instruments and things, they've been set a task, a closed task, you know, and then they come back after a few weeks, and they play what they've put together. And it's such, it's incredible. And they all listen to each other. And it's so, it's really meaningful for me, and it makes me happy. And that's how I, that's how I experience your fun. - That's close to it. And with, yeah, just simple things, like a walk in Kent last week, with a friend, as you say, yeah, with people. - Those friends, it feels so good being with, with those friends. - Yeah. - Sharing it. - Yeah. - Or with children, which you're saying. - Yeah, even sharing your miseries, but it's kind of fun doing that as well. - Yeah. - So funny, that's funny, isn't it? Anything else? - I had an unexpected, I didn't expect to have fun last week, and I had fun. I went for a lunch meeting, and usually, I sort of lunch meetings, with often you seem not happy to walk with me quite. And they're racking into our, and I wasn't expecting just to be sort of, well, conversation to turn silly, and just have a laugh about really nonsensical things, I guess that's why I associate with violence. - Yeah. - Actually, I realized that I've been really, like, clamped up recently, like, pressures of work, pressures of, like, home, and lots of things going on in my life, and I kind of realized I'd forgotten how to have fun, forgotten how to just have a laugh and be really silly, and I really, really, really cherished it, and I feel like it kind of altered my, well, you a little bit, because I've not done that, and you're just being silly, you know, with friends, or even, you know, just interaction with people. Yeah, that's quite amazing. - Yeah. - Oh, that's great. - Yeah. - I feel that fun is something that I tend not to have in England. (laughing) - I think I think, I think about having fun in England, I think, like, for those 21. - Yeah. (laughing) - So what's the best country for having fun in there? - When I think about fun, I think about Israel, like, for a lot of time in Israel. - Yeah. - And I used to dance, and I actually did research on Ethiopian Jewish music and dance, and I was in a music and dance, and I used to go to the Ethiopian nightclub a lot, or five in the morning, and I used to be able to dance about inhibition, and so I think really for me, the focus is to do with, letting go of your inhibitions, letting go. - Mm-hmm. - And to, as well as things being funny. Yeah, so. - Letting go, yes. - Yeah, he used to have a lot to do. And lightness. - Lightness. - I find that I'm heavier than Britain. I think it's to do with the skies. - Yeah. - People, I don't know, it's a bit of me. - It's fun. - Mm-hmm. (laughing) - Even people use you all day. - Yeah. - Right, sorry. - Same. - Maybe it is easier to have fun when it's sunny and, you know. - Yeah. - Everybody's just in a sororment to each other. - But even being outside your relative land, as well. - You can let go of the solids, you can just let go of the concert. - Yeah, yeah. You're right about letting go. That's a very good point. - Yeah. - Does anybody else? - The other friend I can remember was, I've had lots of fun, but just recently I was playing with a girlfriend, a five-year-old boy, and he has a friend around and playing hide and seek. And then somehow I became a monster, and that was it. (laughing) And they were taking great pleasure, and they were knocking me out and killing me. (laughing) And then I'd kind of wake up again, and then they kind of hit me, and all the pillows or whatever. But it was just, it was a great point, because I was a monster. And they were talking about how crazy it was that they kind of killed me. (laughing) And then they kind of, you know, every time I could wake up, you know. And even afterwards, even after, you know, it was great. It was just being, you know, the switch towards silliness. It was just being silly. But afterwards, it was only weird, because they were talking about it. I was there, they were talking about it to the mom, about the monster, and about what they did. And strangely they'd kind of associate with the monster with me. So they took on that. No, it was lovely. It was just kind of, just total silliness. All right. Yeah. A few bruises. (laughing) Yeah. (inaudible) Well, um, I have to say, my mind, I still have this different, what, two meanings for, um, when it comes to fun, like, loving. Um, it really has to do with being in England, because I really do appreciate the sense of humour. And I lived in Germany ten years, and I really, I was dying because I didn't have it. And so I really appreciate it so many, every day situation where people just have a sense of humour. And, like, the mic at least, it's just so lovely, I mean, it's irreverent. No, no, no, no, no, no, just, just the ability of seeing things from an unexpected point of view, an opportunity, an opportunity not to take oneself too seriously, which is not that obvious and not that obvious. Mm-hmm. And, um, and when it comes to another, another kind of moment, terms of joy, then I would say, um, every time I feel free, I feel free, and nevertheless, bonded with, um, well, myself, that feeling. I'm going my way, and, uh, well, I'm, let's say, when I feel like that, I'm free to go my way. Mm-hmm. And so, and I think, I feel this is kind of fun. Mm-hmm. Freedom. Well, when I was first, I think, of situations where I have fun. It always involved other people, and so I was desperately trying to find a situation which didn't involve other people. And I don't think I have, uh, because, uh, there's a certain element, I mean, one person sparks another person off, and most of the fun situations are that kind of a situation. And often there's a slight element of the ridiculously, or of the irreverent. There's a little bit of mischief. Yeah. Uh, quick say. And, and it's a game. One can play with other people. And, uh, it can be really fun. Uh, and it's quite complex, really, if you look at it closely. Uh, it involves games like children play. And, and what comes into it, uh, from where it looks at it, it can be an element, a dark element as well. And, and all these different things seem to need to be there. Uh, certainly in, in my case, in those, um, those times in my life when I really had fun. Uh, and, um, and I don't think it's something I can create by myself when I'm all myself. And I can't use any element about people. Um, not the written word and not the visual. Uh, because if you're watching television or you're reading books, and also, and I think that also the people. Yes, it's interesting, yes. Yes. So, I'm trying to think of how I could have fun entirely on my own. And I haven't been able to raise that scenario. Well, it's great we do have other people around. No, it hasn't. But I think by yourself it's possible, isn't it? In fact, it reminds me of a, of a story. Um, I think it's an Italian folk tale. And there's a version of it that Tila Calvino tells. But, um, you have to think of this guy who's, um, just got a casual job of pruning the vines in a vineyard. So he's, it's quite a big vineyard. So it's going to take him a long time, maybe a couple of weeks, or more to finish it. I'm very ignorant about vineyard culture. I'm not quite sure what time of the year. There's that spring they do them? In September, they do it pruning. So it must be September. So he's, um, he's doing the pruning. And the more he prunes it, the happier he gets. Because it's just very methodical task. He knows what he's doing. He's getting a bit of food. He's doing absolutely starve his destitute. He's been starving for weeks, you know. So he's getting some food, um, for doing the job, you know. And he's just let, to his own devices, you own his own. And he starts singing away up and down the vines. Now meanwhile, um, back in the palace, in the local town, the king is at the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. And he's obviously suffering from depression. Uh, he can't get up in the mornings. He stays in bed all day, sometimes. He's snappy with people. You know, nothing seems to go right. He's got an eating problem, all sorts of stuff like this. In the end, um, his ministers get very worried about him and call him, uh, the best doctor in the land to try and prescribe what's wrong with him. So the doctor comes in and, uh, examines him. There's nothing physically apparently wrong. You know, he takes his pulse and all the kind of things in the fairytale days you can manage to do if you're a doctor. This is a very, um, quirky sort of doctor anyway, this particular one. And in the end, he says, very authoritatively, the king, he says, um, "Your Majesty, you're suffering from melancholia treatments." And the king said, "Oh no, that sounds terrible." He says, "No, is there any cure?" He says, "No, no cure, no cure at all." Except there's only one possibility. He says, "The only possibility is to find a happy man and to wear his shirt for a day and a night." So, uh, the thing, so that's the thing, that's really easy, isn't it? That's very easy because after all, I'm surrounded by all these quarters who are always laughing, they must be happy. But the doctor says, "No, no, it's got to be true. It's got to be truly, deeply, truly, deeply happy." Um, and so he calls in the most likely candidates. But as soon as he checks out whether they're truly happy, of course, they find some flaw in their life, you know, some major thing going on, some worry about their health, or probably been their marriage, or concern about their children, or just general existential answers, or sort of stuff like this. And he can't find anyone who's happy. And in the end, he gets fed up with the whole thing, and he decides, "I'm going to find them myself." He gets on his horse, and he rides off. Sort of talking to innkeepers, talking to millkeepers, talking to vagabonds and bandits on the road, talking to his neighboring aristocrats, and talking to the girls working in the fields and everything, and he can't find anybody who's truly happy. And then, of course, he comes over to the Braava Hill, and he hears this singing coming out of the vineyard, and singing and laughing, and he says, "Ah, this could be it. This could be it." So he goes into the vineyard, and he tries up to the bloke who's merrily pruning his vines. He's taken his sheepskin. He's got a very tattered sheepskin jacket, but it's getting hotter and hotter. He's taking that off. He's just there in his strip to the waist, pruning the vines, pruning the vineyard. And the king says to him, he says, "Are you happy?" And the man says, "Oh, never thought about it," he says. And he says, "You seem happy. Are you miserable?" He says, "No, no, no, no, it's great life. It's fantastic life." He says, "I've even got some cheese," he says. "Would you like to show my cheese?" And the king says, "I'm not interested in your cheese. I want your shirt." And the man laughs, and he laughs, and he laughs, and he laughs, and he laughs, and the king gets more on what you're taking. "Come on, come on." He says, "I'm the king." He said, "Just give it to me. Give me your shirt." And the man says, "I'm not a shirt." And that's the end of the story. Of course, the king goes off and becomes very bad, temperate monarch. And he doesn't learn the lesson. That's the sad thing about it, anyway. He doesn't actually learn where this guy's happiness has come from. But I think it's quite interesting that it seems to me everybody who's mentioned their occasions. If the king had bumped into you while you were painting, or bumped into you with the children, with the musical instruments, and so on, the king would have thought, "I've done it. I found the person. Can I have your shirt, please?" And I think we do have those moments of fun, don't we? And okay, he happened to encounter the guy in the vineyard. He probably wasn't actually totally, sort of, merry every single day of his life, but the king got him. He's got him at that moment, you know. And so maybe that's interesting to think of that fact, that, you know, that we are that happy man or happy woman. And we know the secret, I think, in a way. But I was also trying to link this in, because it's supposed to be Buddhism, isn't it? I was talking about it. I tried to link this in with Buddhism, because happiness is quite a big deal in Buddhism. It's quite important. There's no virtue in Buddhism at all, in being miserable. Happiness is actually a part of the path. In fact, in a way, it's like a by-product of really being on a consistent path. And if you think of well in Buddhism, if you think of the Dalai Lama, I think more than his teachers are trying to think of the way he chuckles, do you know what I mean? And that's a twinkle he has. And it does seem to me that he would be a suitable candidate for giving his shirt to the king. But unfortunately, of course, being a monk, he doesn't have a shirt either. So maybe shirtlessness is an important part of the process of becoming very happy. I'm not sure. I just wanted to talk a little bit about how this doesn't get too serious, because I'm probably supposed to be talking about fun and happiness. But I thought I'd place it in the context of the Buddhist path, in particular in the path of the twelve links that you may come across. But before I do that, I want to ask one more question. Are there any downsides to having fun? If you think of the fun you've had, is it something which basically would be nice just to have that continuously? You can get a bit carried away and then you don't hang over anymore. So hang over as well. Well, you do not hang over hang over for you, but just like... Or a metaphor for hangover. You burn your candle and look at those ends. You're a bit tired out. So a bit of overindulgence. You can get into overindulgence and there are after effects, I suppose, from that. It can be attachments as well. I'm just thinking time, so friends, whatever. You kind of unexpectedly have a walk of really good nights. So I don't think it's true. Somebody has all his thoughts and we have to say, "Oh, you can't manufacture it." It tends to kind of just kind of happen or make fun. When it happens there is a kind of lamenting that goes on, particularly to kind of get over the kind of the brow of it as a word. You realise it's kind of going to a close and a lot more kind of. Let's just continue. And then you're kind of like, "Well, no, the night is only just like old." You can't just repeat it or just come over. The magic is just part of it. You can feel it kind of slipping away. And it's all the way in the end. So I don't know if that's... What was your question originally? I was already downside. Downside, yeah. Is that kind of attachment, I guess? Yeah. That's when to loss. That's what I was essentially lost after I was in. Which makes me think about William Blake thing where he says, "He who binds himself to a joy does the wing of life destroys." And he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sunrise. So you have to be able to let it go, don't you? You have to sort of give it a kiss and then let it fly on. Yeah. Because it's a window down side is wanting to repeat it. Yes. Because you can't repeat it. Because sometimes you're having fun. And you wouldn't think on having fun now. Because they're suddenly... You realise that it's not going to be there all the time. Yes. Yeah. It's not saying that it's... Yes. That sort of sad element to it, isn't it? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, but I think that it does seem possible to be somebody with a basic good humour. I mean, I think the Dalai Lama, it seems to me he's got that. I'm sure that sometimes you must be thinking about what's happened to his homeland and to that. No, it must get a bit miserable actually. But basically he does seem to be an enormous resilience of that good humour. And it does feel to me that that is connected to... Probably connected to his practice. I'm not saying that it's guaranteed. I'm not saying that it's excluded from somebody who doesn't do Buddhist practice. But I mean, in his case, at least I'm sure it's connected to his practice. And it's not unique to what it's still saying. He did get this fact that early European scholars of Buddhism complained about Buddhism. I might mention this here before. They complained that Buddhists obviously didn't understand their own doctrine. Their ordinary life is characterised by suffering. They were constantly smiling and happening. You go to Burma and find these berm was filled with smiling people. And they said they don't understand Buddhism obviously. It says the first noble truth is suffering. They don't realise. It's interesting. Realising it sets you free from it maybe. Yeah. The Western misunderstanding you're going to say. Yeah, Westernist comprehension. Yeah, definitely. Smiling, because perhaps smiling could be etiquette. I see, yes. When I was in Thailand the first time around, I found that throughout people were smiling at me. It was just, you didn't, you acknowledged people just acknowledged you. And smiled at you as a knowledgeable and said it's a lightness. And actually it really changes the quality of your day. Yes. That's great, isn't it? Yes. Yes. But I do think I haven't been to Burma in Singapore in the Buddhist communities now. People did seem to be cheerful. They seem to be genuine cheerful as actually. A lack of feelings of weight, the weight of oppression that people have talked about. Because etiquette is like surely you can tell what's the kind of, what's real smile also. As it was the kind of, it's usually like, you know, a genuine kind of smile as well. Yes, but it tends to sit. It tends like, I find this would still be human being. It tends to be like, it's a real smile. It's not just a genuine smile. Genuine smile. Yeah, you're real greeting, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And if you go back to Dalai Lama, if you listen to Tibetan Buddhists, being particular talking about Buddhism, the thing that tends to come up a lot with them is happiness. And I suppose that's an interesting slight shift, isn't it, difference between having fun and being happy. There's that sense of something that is deep and sustainable, I suppose, where sometimes you will find yourself having fun. Sometimes you're going through really hard time. But underneath there's something deep and sustainable, a cheerfulness or a resilience that keeps you going. And they will tend to talk about happiness in doctrinal terms as well. You know, Tibetans will say, well, I want to be happy. You want to be happy. Everyone wants to be happy. We're all in the same boat, for that reason. We all have the same basic goals in life, so we should all work together to tackle suffering and feeling compassionate for suffering of others. It's incredibly simple teaching, isn't it? It's sort of incredibly obvious, somehow, to say that. You know, I want to be happy. You want to be happy. You're all up to the same thing. Come on, you know. Let's drop all this nonsense and go for it. I think fun seems to have the competition of frivolity. It can do, can't it? Yes. I think happiness is something much more fundamental and deep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yes. And that more fundamental and deep thing does seem to be something, at least I feel, it's something to do with having a path, I suppose, or a path of progress that you're following. And to put it more specifically, in terms of the path I wanted to talk to tonight, the strange thing is that the starting point is awareness of your predicament, and things not actually being right at the moment, being aware of your lack of happiness and cultivating awareness and mindfulness in general at first. And out of that unfolds a basic sense of purpose. Maybe I want these down. I want to go through the whole of this version of the path, but it's quite interesting right now. So, you start off with awareness of what's missing. And then you have sense of purpose. I'm just going to keep all this in English, rather than give you all the sounds good and bits. You don't mind? And then unfolding out of that, it starts off with a sense of relief and then interest and happiness, interest or engagement. Where is this from? It's from the Nidalabhaga of Assamya to Nikhaya. So, in other words, it's taught by the Buddha. As far as we know, it's taught by the Buddha. And you've got a number of different forms of it appearing in the Farley canon, in the early Buddhist scriptures. So these things are happening in succession. In a way, they unfold out of each other. I mean, you may come through them very quickly and then go down again and start again. So it's not as if you literally stay here for three years and then here for two years or something like that, but they do unfold out of each other. In a way, if you can build on the earlier ones, you're more likely to be able to get to the later ones. So, interest and happiness. And then there's tranquility. Yeah, I'll call this tranquility and letting go. It's a letting go process. And out of that arises unification of minds. And this is rather a metatype, so to speak, it definitely is a metatype status here. And then there's something like noticing what's going on. God, after all the other things, it takes it well then. It takes a while. It needs a basis in these other things to really deeply notice what's going on so that it really reaches you deeply. And that is very interesting because I think sometimes people attempt it in Buddhism to go for this insights thing too quickly, to try and really see, to really understand, use the intellect or even to sort of stick there with confronting all reality in all its ragged, sheeting in jackets before they really establish the rest of these. And I think it's quite an interesting sort of a sequence, isn't it? So, you start off with awareness of lack. Out of this emerges a sense of purpose. And this doesn't have a mattress. You've actually got to sort of work on it. And then out of the sense of purpose arises a sense of relief. This is sometimes a translation of delight or satisfaction. It takes a couple of things that become simpler now. What do you mean by your sense of purpose? Well, okay, I'll talk about that a bit more, should I? For you, can you identify for all of these? To some extent, yeah. I think probably all of this can actually. I hope so. I hope so. And maybe I'll say a bit more about some of them. You'll recognize how it works. And also, I'll try and give you the sort of the standard traditional Buddhist approach to them as well. I think I want to start off, you can see how sort of basic, happy states are very much at the center of this process. In a way, it starts with one kind of an awareness. And it finishes with another kind of awareness. But in between that, all the rest of them are delightful. And I think this is really important. But it's perfectly all right to be happy. It's really important to realize that. But it's not, at least a probabilistic point of view, it's not spiritual to be giving yourself a hard time. It's very easy to give yourself a hard time. We do tend to do it. But there's no particular value in doing that, I don't think. You don't have to sacrifice everything you want to do. You don't need to deprive your body of what it needs, all that kind of thing. You don't need to sort of do all sorts of things now in the hope of something in the future. Because it's now that matters. Do you need some discipline? You need some discipline so that you can work your way through these things, I think, yes. Yeah, and in a way, what we start to learn from this gradually is that you don't need anything external to feel okay. So maybe you'll know your greatest delight, maybe when you're with other people. But I think like the guy creaming the vines, after a while you realize that just ordinary activity can itself be delightful. And you realize that actually I'm feeling a bit oppressed, I'm feeling a bit heavy. Let's just go down the canal and look at the water. And you look at the water that is dirty, but yet somehow it's beauty in it. And this is if you've just got out of yourself, you know, and you find that you realize that in a way you've got that resource inside you, I suppose. It also works the other way. So tell his other people. Exactly, that's right, yes. And there's that, do you remember in, is it in "Paint Your Wagon", the song I was born under wandering staff, where he says, "Hell is in Hello". "Hell is in Hello". You have to do this verbally voice, remember that. Leave us alone. Leave us alone. Leave us alone. And we're alone. Pain starts. "Hell is in Hello", he says. That you've got to find the right purpose. Yes. You've got to choose, say, making a lot of money as your sense of purpose. I don't want to make your sense of purpose. That's right. So, you've got to find the right sense of purpose. You've got to do that. And in a way, maybe this understanding, this process is in a way, the purpose is to move through this process in a way. And it's realizing you can't manufacture happiness. You can't, in fact, you can't even have happiness as your goal, finally enough. As soon as you do that, it vanishes. You need to have something that really engages you, like teaching children music or something like that. You've actually got to have that. And then, happiness will come about as a byproduct. Not automatically, not predictably, but as long as you're really engaged, you're doing something you really care about, then you will find that happiness. I'm quite sure about that. Now, for those people that have already got a lot of it, it seems to me, unlike you, they're going to be interested in Buddhism. Buddhism, in a way, is for people that are at this level, to some extent, at least, awareness and there being something messy, something raw. And I think, you know, for somebody who's already got those out, they're all good luck to them. Just go away and enjoy it. You know, again, they're all about getting involved in both all these miserable Buddhists. Perhaps they're already kind of a Buddhist. Maybe they're already, yeah. They're already doing this. Because this is a natural human process. It's not something that needs any doctrine to do it. And I think people can discover it. At least parts of it for themselves, you know. Oh, sorry. I don't need to be a stenciler, but you were just saying it earlier on, that it's not something that happens naturally. No, no, that's right. In other words, what I make by that was that just being aware of luck isn't enough. You're sure that the sense of purpose will arise. Having a sense of purpose isn't enough in itself, just to ensure that relief for life's satisfaction will arise. There are actually, there's a working ground that needs to be done. But on the other hand, it is natural in the sense that it's not unnatural. So it's not something that you can just sit back and let it happen. It seems that you need to be grappling with your life and engaging with your life. So in that sense, it's not natural. If you have other sense of purpose, you can't depend on luck. You can't depend on luck, no, no. And you can't even, as I say, there are plenty of people who are aware of suffering or aware of luck. But it doesn't necessarily mean that they move into the happiness phases. If that can last your whole life, then it can be very horrible. Some of these qualities, maybe some of them you might find it in some cultures, you might be more inclined. Yes. Some of these qualities, I bet you've been a member of that culture. That's right, yes. I think kicking in the Western world, perhaps we lack that bit more. I remember reading something in the Sunday of these papers about how people, what's been scientifically for a statistic in previous years. People have more money, actually have more problems. We're not going to the weekend or something about that. We've actually done that. That's right. But yeah, maybe where we focus on that. There's some materialism. Yes. That's right. Or being driven. If you're too drippy, you just end up in stress, don't you? Yes. The king in the pool has said that the idea is that he graced national happiness rather than graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. Graced national happiness. What I'd say is that in a way happiness, as I said, is a sort of a byproduct of a fulfilled life. It's really more than just a byproduct because ways of living and behaving which yields happiness are ways. Which are involved in these things like strong interest, like being friendly and all that kind of thing. The king sounded like he was very grasping. He wanted that share. He wanted it. That's right. That's a coincidence. That's a coincidence. Yeah. He was in a loop. He was generating his own depression really through a loop. I mean, there may be other factors he could have been helped with. But also, I do feel he missed an opportunity there in the story. He did have an opportunity. In a way, realising that there was no shirt could have been a great insight for him somehow. It seems to me. But there you go. But his acting is a good question. Yes. Yes. But that does seem to be what goes with that state of mind of depression. But you can't. In a sense, there is no way out. If there are always opportunities, there are always openings there, aren't there? But you miss them. When you're in depression, you keep missing those opportunities, don't you? And then one day, you walk through like me. It's over. My goodness. It's gone, doesn't it? I'm not made not for good. But it's as if somehow you've walked through one of those doors. And this is if you're like Alice in Wonderland. And you've got to watch the right size where you can walk out to the little door of the beautiful girl. And you've been desperately drinking all this stuff. Make yourself bigger and smaller, bigger and smaller, trying to get through the things. Do you remember that in the book where she just gets a bit desperate, isn't she? Until she almost drowns in a pool of tears, I think. Very interesting sign of the problem. Yes. So self-awareness, it starts off with self-awareness. Awareness of lack, if you like. And this is the basic human quality is the ability to do this. Lack of what is that, please? Well, maybe I'll come on to that. I mean, I've chosen this word lack as I quite like it as a translation from Dooka, which is usually translated as suffering. But it's the sense of it being something missing. So you can't say what is lacking. If I can probably even know what is lacking. But at least you know there's something lacking. You know, you don't feel complete. And it may be a misery. It may be utter misery and depression. But it may be actually you're fine. Your life is going all right. But you just know it's not quite all there. You know, you don't think, "Wow, this is quite well, isn't it?" Maybe a lot of the time, you just imagine, "Why am I bothering about it?" You know, my job's going, "Well, I've got a nice partner and a nice house and I can't be." But then you think, "Oh, there's something missing with some lack." And of course it's very easy to try and start defining what that should be. But it's quite good, I think, just to sit with a sense of lack and say, "Okay." Lack. Does that make sense, that sort of thing? But it means that when we do have frustrations and sufferings, because we have self-awareness, they have this what the Buddha called a double dart. You've got the immediate problem of suffering and then you've got the second dart, which is the proliferation in your mind that goes on, that makes things worse. So you have the, say, the horse standing in the rain. If you see a horse looking very cold standing in the rain, it's miserable. It's not happy, it doesn't want to be standing in the rain. But at least it doesn't, at least I think. It doesn't imagine what it would be like to be in a lovely warm state or be given a good rubdown. It's probably does. You think so? So it's a very clever horse, maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't mind standing in the rain. Maybe it doesn't even mind it at all, yeah. But there must be, sorry, but there must be this thing about animals, about this kind of self-reflexed consciousness. But there is a kind of, I don't know this or not, I don't know much about sort of neuroscience, I mean, to do the kind of side of the body. But it seems that there is a kind of memory in the body. Yes. It's very, very briefly, I just mentioned this, I went to this years ago, this place called Monkey World in Dorset. And, yeah, it was lovely, but it was all rescued, rescued monkeys. It come from quite a few from Spain and places like that. But this is one monkey, it's really said old monkey. And it is there, it is kind of in his case, whatever. And just every now and then, we're kind of walking down, it's always because of white hair. And he'd be sort of doing this, contorting, kind of doing these kind of actions like something that he did kind of gone through. It was almost like it was reliving the experience. They're reading a trauma of some kind. And so, you know, he got the sense that it was kind of mental suffering. I know it's a part of it, I mean, maybe it's maybe a different body. Well, I'm sure that, you know, you do get a horse rescue place. I know, I didn't know someone who actually works with traumatised horses. And you definitely do get that, you know, in Germany, with trying to help horses that be badly treated. And I just really nervous or tend to sort of throw their eyes. Yeah. But you start, I've just heard that before, that the kind of thing of, you know, animals not having kind of memory here. But I think what I want to emphasize here is that this bird is out here with a double dart. And it does seem to me that at least the more subtle awareness you've got, let's say, the more chance you've got of getting into that second dart. I know there was the second type, the mental proliferation suffering, as well as the immediate suffering. But on the other hand, you've also got a way beyond that as well, because you've got self-awareness. We can feel we like something, we can make deliberate self-aware efforts to change that situation. Yes. That's why it can be a bit terrifying when you start meditating. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it is. Yeah. And what you're doing with your meditating is just cultivating this awareness. Yeah. And if you can cultivate that awareness strongly enough, then what can emerge from it, as long as you can leave doors open, leave openness there, is that sense of purpose, is a sense, I suppose, that there are things that matter that are bigger than you are, that kind of thing. There is a way through, there's a path, or whatever. I don't really want to define it too much, because it's going to be very different from one person to another. And I could have said it a bit more, what should I say more about it? Yeah, but it's not all about you, isn't it? No, that's right. Yes. It's about. Yes. Yes. Yeah, well, the way the Tibetans talk about sense of purpose is that there are three aspects to it, which are called conviction, clarity, and longing. Conviction, clarity, and longing. And I'm not going to say much about this, but it's a nice little teaching. And the conviction is the sense that what you do makes a difference, that what you do actually matters. And that becomes a very deep heartfelt conviction. And you can see how that is an important aspect of a sense of purpose. Because if you feel it makes no difference what I do, what I choose, and so on. And of course, you're going to be very much trapped. You have to have that sense of any way empowerment in your life, I suppose. So that's the conviction side of the sense of purpose. And then the second one is clarity. And the clarity is starting to sort out what really matters. So it's having clarity about what really matters. I mean, this is a bit of a dodgy word because I don't mean it just intellectually. It's not just that you can explain it in full. Because it's as if your direction is clear. That's one way of looking at it. Do you see what I mean? The way you're facing is reasonably clear. And both the conviction and the clarity can grow. They're not just either on or off. They're things where you think it does make a difference, what I do. And it's starting to become clear what really matters to me, what my priorities in life are. And then it can be very intuitive, but it needs to be at least largely intuitive about clarity, I think, from the enough. And then the third aspect of the sense of purpose is longing. So you can see if the clarity is a little bit more on the cognitive side, the longing is more on the emotional side. So your emotions are yearning for something. In a way, whatever it is that you decide to really matter to you, you really care deeply about it. So it's not just a clarity now, but it's also a longing for it. So you've got the conviction, the clarity and the longing. It's quite a nice looking teaching that one, I think, comes from Gampopa, who was a little at his student. And what's the element of faith coming from? Well, all three of those are components of what is sometimes translated as faith. So you could call it all three of those are elements of faith, because I think faith is slightly dodgy word, because we associate it with believing, assenting to things that you can't actually prove. But from a Buddhist point of view, that's nothing to do with it. It's really to do with these three elements of conviction, clarity and longing. However, there is should be a mystery still there. It's not that you've got a sense of purpose, you know everything's going on. You still have a sense of moving into the open, spearing for the deep, somebody calls it. And once that's in there, the more that's in place, the more you have this feeling of relief or delight or satisfaction. Because you're no longer particularly, you're no longer sort of blondering about quite so much, because you've got the conviction, the clarity and the longing. You just think, oh thank goodness for that. I know what my life's about now, yeah. It's not you literally know, next year we're doing this, the year after we're doing this, do you see what I mean? But you've got a sort of a touchstone now in your life. And the natural reaction to that is delight or relief, if you want to call it that, or satisfaction or feeling of satisfaction. And then out of that emerges interest or engagement. This is sometimes translated as rapture, but that's a slightly odd idea for it. It seems to be interest and engagement is better. This is what you're saying, right, great. Okay, now I can get my teeth into something, you know. Now I can really get involved. And you become fascinated by the process, maybe you get fascinated by your own process, maybe you get fascinated by something else that you're involved with. Because I think what opens up at this stage, and this is maybe a key to happiness, is, and I mentioned this when I was getting into up here a couple of weeks ago, is having a project of some kind. Having something that matters to you that you're involved in. And it could be a purely artistic project, it could be the project of perfecting your own creative abilities. It could be a project of, it could be a very material thing of getting something done. It might be a temporary thing, it might be a long term thing. It might be a vocation you discover. I don't really want to type down too much. But you see it only in this interest engagement level is where you start to get your teeth into something. And then you'll find happiness comes out as a natural byproduct. And of course you also have huge struggles as well. You know, once you do connect yourself, Gerta says somewhere, doesn't he? Once you connect yourself, all sorts of things open up. All sorts of opportunities open up, but also all sorts of obstacles start to appear as well. And when you're just sort of not bothering with much, in a way it can be very depressing, but at least you don't have to actually encounter all these obstacles. But out of this emerges a deeper kind of happiness, a very deep contentment, which can get deeper and deeper and deeper. It's like something that, it's as if you sometimes get this where you just feel everything is absolutely fine. It may not have a very lot, but you get that sense you think, and you also think, why do I ever make such a fuss about things? You know, it's just so simple. It's just being alive, isn't it? It's just about being a human being and being alive, you know. I don't know. I don't know. Exactly. It's the kind of happiness that is still there, even when you're unhappy. If that makes any sense. So it's something very sustainable. So it may be that things are going really badly, they're very unwelcome what's happening at the moment. You're getting a root getting given a really hard time by somebody else, things are going badly wrong. But it's, if you've managed to work through these previous things, this is quite robust, this happiness. I feel like you've been to quite an idealistic picture, so far. You've been to New Zealand. Yeah. Because you, along with this, you have a new sense of purpose and you feel like you want to live your life in a more meaningful direction. And then you, I'm sure you'll be confronted with confusion and fear and darkness and loss of, you know, whether you can relinquish control and heart with your old ways. Yeah. It's just, I mean, it's all about the course. It's quite a cerebral and emotional process that must go on so you have to count. So sometimes finding the path amongst all of this, you know, can be quite difficult. And you can lose it for years. You can be making quite nice progress through this. And then you lose it for years or still then, you know. And you forget about it or something else happens, you know. And as I said, you know, this thing that although engagement opens up opportunities, it also opens up great obstacles. You know, great difficulties to face. If you want a quiet life, it's not very good to go down this, this process. But it's a highly creative process, at least the way the Buddha described it. He says, this is a conditioned sequence. And he says that if you can establish the awareness of lack strongly enough, then you can find emerging out of the sense of purpose. And if the sense of purpose isn't there, go back to the awareness of lack. And then similarly, if you can establish the sense of purpose strongly enough, then the sense of great satisfaction and delight will emerge from it. If it's not there, go back to the sense of purpose. So, it's giving you like a systematic way of doing it. You can sort of locate yourself, not permanently, but temporally, where am I at the moment, you know. And then you can say, you know what to do. That's the advantage of the Buddha's sort of way of setting out the path. It's not so much that you should do this. It's more that you can sort of locate yourself and say, okay, this looks like being appropriate next step, given where I seem to be at the moment. I'm not sure that it's so much idealistic. It's just simply realistic. It's a description of how you can move through search. It's based on a conference that things can be better. That's the idealistic side of it. So, it's not pessimistic. The pessimism is where you feel a stop mate. It's never going to get you back. What the Buddha's saying is actually, you know, wherever you are at, it can actually. There is a step you can take that opens things out a little bit. Not a perfection, but just a little bit. So, it's very optimistic in that sense. I think it's quite great to take a step into the unknown on the faith of, you know, taking a job in and not having financial accuracy. Very scary. Yeah, exactly. You're going off to Tuscany Pruding Vines. Yeah, throwing all of it in there, starting your vineyards in the sun. Yes, sometimes it's dreadful, isn't it? The whole of the faith. In a way, there could be moment by moment states, couldn't they? They could be moment by moment. Yes. You know, you're painting away and you think, oh, I'm doing that pedal quite well. And then in the next few moments, you've just sort of made a little bit of a mess of it. No, you think, oh, I made of it. Yes. Like for moment to moment, you have to reassert all of this. Yes. So, I'll just finish going through them, just so you get a sense of them. So, where we've reached is this very deep sort of contentment or happiness. In other words, a resilient positive emotion that is able to actually meet those big challenges. Because if you meet, if you hit the challenges early on in that, you may find that you're just not really strong enough to cope with them and you get thrown completely off course. But if you can develop this resilience, then actually, even when the really difficult obstacles come up, you'll find yourself being able to serve through them. But then, even beyond that, is this process of what's called tranquility or letting go. So, that's when, in a way, it's difficult to describe this, but it's when, in a way, there's no longer even a sense of things being really great. You've dropped that. You're a bit more, in a way, a bit more even-minded about it all. And you're able to open up to other people much more now. Because you realize that, okay, I've got things that I've recently, okay with my life, but the world's not okay, is it? So, you're developing the strength of spreading outwards, and there's like an even-mindedness of tranquility, a process of letting go of thinking of you, this is me, this is my process, this is an ego process. But even if things are not okay, you could, you know, it's more like surrender, isn't it? You're just surrendering. You're surrendering, yeah. This is not okay. Yeah. That's right, yeah. Yes. That's just where it is. And because you can do that, because you've surrendered, you'll find that the next stage is unification of mind. So, you're truly one person. Now, all your resources are now unified. And maybe only any temporary, I'm not saying this is a permanent state, but you'll find yourself sometimes with this sense that there isn't an internal conflict going on. You're in a way you've marshaled or even you've involved all parts of yourself. Because previously, you're bound to have different bits of you put in different directions. Even internal conflict, even unconscious process and so on. But it's possible to reach this. So this is Samadhi, unification of mind. And that Samadhi state is when it's all very much together now. You are a single person. And that's what you need for noticing what's really happening. Because if you're not, if there's only a bit of you there, or even even though it's 75% of you there, you won't really be able to take it in fully. It needs the strength of that unified mind to see what's going on. And this is the sort of the inside level. Actually, the Buddha describes five more levels after this, which I'm not going to go into. But I thought this is pretty enough for now, really, isn't it? Especially because what I really noticed about this particular sequence is what a strong centering on happiness there is going on there. And so I don't know if this really had to be fucked. How'd it have fucked? Yeah. But at least it's something vaguely related to that, isn't you think? Maybe it's more like how to find happiness. Or how to let happiness in. Maybe that would be better when you put it in. I can connect very closely down to happiness. Because most of the time now, days are unpacking. I don't know where this is coming from. How can I be happy? This is something wrong. But it's great to think that I might be able to go on the next piece. Yes. And maybe in your growing tip, sometimes reaches those bits. Yes. Occasionally. Yes. But being with it for most of the time. Yes. Definitely not. But happiness, not enough. And yes, those first and did go through those. But you may have to be, to be fair to you, we may have to spend a lot of time at this level. A lot of time at this level here, when I said lack of it. No. It's okay. That's okay. That might force that awareness is valuable, I think. Yeah. It's not really the same thing as discontent. No. No, I don't think it is, it's not even disillusionment. It's certainly not discontentment. It's more facing the reality of things not being right. And sort of facing that four square. And not just facing it, but actually looking quite closely at it. Being prepared to look quite closely at it. Which of course is the opposite of what you think you want to do to be happy. That's the real thing about this. They would have said, "You want to be happy? Look at suffering." Hey? What? No. I think I'll try somebody else out. Thank you. We hope you enjoyed this week's podcast. Please help us keep this free. Make a contribution at FreeBuddhaS.io.com/donate. And thank you. [MUSIC] [BLANK_AUDIO]