(upbeat music) This podcast is brought to you by Free Buddhist Audio, the Dharma for Your Life. Our work is funded entirely by donations from our generous listeners. If you would like to help us keep this free, make a contribution at freebuddhistaudio.com/donate. Thank you and happy listening. - First of all, I'd like to say that I think when I was asked what I was gonna talk about, I gave a bit of a longer answer than enlightenment. What is it, I think, appeared on the publicity? I think when Tages Finn rang me up, I said, "Well, I'll talk about this. "It'll be something like what is enlightenment, "what is mindfulness, what is the goal, "where are we going and where are we at?" And that is, I think, what I want to talk about this evening. This is a bit of an experiment for me at the moment. Probably a few of you have figured out, I don't actually see awfully well. So I'm afraid I am just gonna be poking me a little ed out over the lectern and I'm afraid I will not be making eye contact. And so if you're just gonna bear with me, I could probably use perhaps computer equipment, maybe another time, another context, to get my sort of autocue, so to speak. But I'm just experimenting at the moment with using really large print and I can, I'll try and pick my way through it as best I can. And the basic structure I'd like to follow is I would want to talk, first of all, about enlightenment a little and stream entry and insight. I will tend to be sort of using those terms as equivalents for the purpose of this talk. So I'm gonna talk about enlightenment a little and then I'm gonna talk a little bit about me. And then I want to talk about the Buddha. And then I want to talk about me and the Buddha. And then I want to talk about more detail about enlightenment, what the Buddha attained. And then probably, hopefully, we back and forth between all that and hopefully tied all together and conclude. And I hope, at least I will communicate in such a way that I can communicate my enthusiasm for Dharma. But really, what I want to communicate is that it is possible for us to gain insight. It really is possible for us to gain enlightenment and at least stream entry. And for those of you who are new to the tradition, I will say a few words about stream entry. The Buddhist tradition says that there are basically 10 fetters that stop us being enlightened. There are 10 things that we do, 10 ways we use our mind, 10 ways we use our perceptions that get in the way of us experiencing things as they really are, get in the way of us experiencing reality. But there's a point, they are successive, or there's an element of succession about these 10 fetters. And if you can break the first three of these fetters, you reach a stage of irreversibility, which means enlightenment is assured. It means you will totally be able to see reality directly. All the problems in your life will clear up. You will be free. And I think that is amazingly optimistic. I think you've only got to break three of the 10. I mean, you know, it's sort of like the scales are balanced on our side, yeah. And I'll save something briefly about the three fetters that we break. And according to tradition, they tend to all three go together. And what they are are the first fetter is personality view, the second fetter is over reliance on rights and rituals, and the third fetter is skeptical doubt, or doubt and indecision. And to overcome the first fetter, you need to realize that there's no part of you, your being, from top to bottom, that is not ultimately changeable. If you know that, the core of your being, you will have broken the first fetter. You can change. Not as a theory, but you know it as an actuality. You can change. And the second fetter is over reliance on rights and rituals as ends in themselves. It's no use going through the motions and thinking you're gonna grow spiritually. It's no use sort of sitting down cross legs with eyes closed for an hour, thinking about what she was on telly last night. No to me, it's not gonna work. If you've got that as a hindrance and you're working with it, that's fair enough. But it's the idea that we can just go through the motions. It's sort of a bit external. It's a bit superficiality, if you like. So you have to realize that unless you put in the effort, unless you do what you need to do, you will not change. And the third fetter is skeptical doubt, or doubt and indecision. That's classically is when deliberately keeps things confused, so one doesn't have to commit oneself. The classic one is the person who says, "Oh, of course, meditation doesn't work. "It wouldn't work for me. "I know that never does, it wouldn't be possible." "Oh, have you tried meditating?" "No, of course not, I can't be bothered, it just worked." That is skeptical doubt. It's not even willing to try. It's not even willing to commit myself to try and do it. So, you know, one's decision is in no way informed. It's a way of holding things at a distance. It's a way of keeping reality at a certain distance. Yeah. And another element of skeptical doubt is, if you overcome this, all one's doubts about the dharma are cleared up. All one's lack of shuddha, if you like. One's lack of confidence in the dharma is cleared up as well. That's another element. And to say, these all these three fetters, I mean, I could probably give a talk just on that, actually. I'm afraid I'm gonna be racing through quite a few things and concepts this evening. But when those three have gone, you've broken the first three fetters, yeah? Personality view, rights and rituals, and doubt and indecision, you've reached the stage of irreversibility. You've changed yourself to the degree that enlightenment is assured. You will gain enlightenment sooner or later. And that's great yet. You've got another seven to do that you haven't even touched, but you will do it. So I think that's something to be really optimistic about. And I think kind of optimism is this sort of like the message of my talk this evening, I think, that we need to have confidence in our spiritual lives, confidence in our abilities to change, confidence in our abilities to gain insight. What I intend now to do really is look at some models, yeah? Some models of enlightenment, if you like. I'm taking a kind of broadly cognitive approach rather than an obviously mythical one. But I don't want us to forget that whatever I'm talking about is essentially a model. There is no other way about talking about enlightenment. We cannot talk about ultimate reality apart from as a model. The moment we use words, we have not caught it, we are using a symbol. Now, and I also hope that when I say a cognitive model, I don't certainly intend to be, and I hope I'm not over-intellectual at all. But I would like to say that I find, I tend to be the sort of person that does sort of, I find thoughts really exciting. As a friend of mine once said, "Reflection is my hobby." And I kind of like that. I find it, yes, reflection is recreational, that's right. And I find the same. I find thinking and reflecting very enjoyable. So it's not as if like I'm not engaged emotionally. And I think it's true of us all that our thoughts have quite a powerful effect on our emotional life. And I'm very moved by concepts. But also as well, where possible, I try to illustrate me thoughts with anecdotes, yeah, with stories. So just a little bit about me. Because of my sort of failing side, I had to sort of give up work about two years ago. And obviously, it's not without its frustration and downside. And it was indeed a sort of element of crisis that precipitated my having to stop work. I had to sort of finally come to terms that had been a slow deterioration with my vision. And I'd reached a sort of stage where I couldn't sort of read properly anymore and things like that. But the point I really want to make with this is what it's meant is that I've got a lot more time on my hands. And I really do feel that this is a privilege. And this is sort of meant that I can sort of reflect much more, you know. And it's been a really sort of real Philip to practice. And obviously, as I've been going, there's been a certain amount of struggle. The Dharma has obviously been very much in my mind. And in many ways, perhaps the stakes have been hired, yeah. And consequently on this, I have just started to think in a new way. And it's sort of experienced a sort of shift in my understanding about enlightenment, what it is and perhaps what it is not. And also, I kind of want to say, I think when it comes to sort of the subject of enlightenment, there can sometimes be a kind of bashfulness, you know. I think it's our intention is to sort of show due respect. And indeed, sort of enlightenment, insight, stream, entry. It obviously is worthy of due respect. And, you know, it's obviously a tragedy to trivialize it in any way. At the same time, I think though, it would be as much, if not greater tragedy, to be so sort of worried, how would it sort of distance, to be so lacking in confidence in ourselves, that we don't really give it serious consideration, yeah. I mean, often our respect can be sort of tins with the kind of fear, you know. It's sort of too big to consider. So we need to have confidence in ourselves, confidence in our ability to practice. And indeed, much of the spiritual life takes courage. So I want us to sort of lighten up in the way we think about enlightenment, yeah. There's a real tendency, I think, certainly in the West, it may be a universal phenomenon. It's very easy, I think, to create sort of mystery and mumbo-jumbo in our culture, particularly. You know, we seem to have a tendency to really sort of overlay a kind of religiosity onto things, you know, and look for strange and exotic and hidden meanings where some none exist, yeah. I mean, you know, indeed, things are hard enough to understand anyway, without this kind of thing. I mean, I've seen people, you know, when they come to contact with religion and think spiritual, there can be a kind of weird sort of pseudo-sacred atmosphere, you know, around, I mean, this is not a talk conducive to understanding. So I want us to be able to sort of relax, because it's not unless we can sort of start to put enlightenment inside, stream entry, so to speak, onto the microscope, unless we're willing to look, we're not gonna be able to see. Another point I want to make about enlightenment is that it's not an abstraction, yeah. It's not an abstraction. Enlightenment only exists by virtue of beings becoming enlightened. Without buddhas, there wouldn't be enlightenment. Enlightenment isn't sort of some purple cloud floating in the cosmos that sort of bops into people, you know? It's not like that. We may talk, and the tradition sometimes talks in ways that you gain the feeling that enlightenment's kind of out there sort of thing, but that is very much a way of talking for teaching purposes, if you like a skill for means and shouldn't be taken literally. So if it wasn't for enlightened beings, we wouldn't know enlightenment. And if it wasn't for the Buddha, we wouldn't know enlightenment, of course. So in a way, I feel I must talk about the Buddha if I'm gonna talk about enlightenment. And I would love to give you a really good, cracking story of the life of the Buddha. But when I was rehearsing this talk earlier, I did include quite a lot from the Buddha's life story. The talk was about nearly two hours long. And you know, but don't worry, yeah, before any of you rush out to get your sleeping bag or sandwiches, I've honed it down quite a lot actually. It's quite interesting, I use a text-to-speech machine when I was preparing this talk. And it was interesting that it took 37 and a half minutes to give the talk, you know. Would you like a talk on the Buddha? I ain't gonna talk tonight about it. It was a bit like that, actually, that's how it works. But I was really surprised when I thought, well, I better just try it myself actually, see how it works. And it was about one or three quarter hours. So I'm afraid I'm gonna talk very little about the life of the Buddha. And all I can do is, for those of you who are new to the tradition, there are three books I would recommend that you read. There's a great life of the Buddha by a monk called Sadatissa called The Life of the Buddha. There's a lovely biography by a monk called Niamamoli, Life of the Buddha according to the Pali Canon. And there's a very good book, which gives you a very good feel for the life of the Buddha, as well as the basic teachings of Buddhism, it's called What the Buddha Taught by Wapola Rahula. But I will say a little bit about the Buddha to give a bit of context. The Buddha was an Indian patrician, an Indian patrician that was born about approximately 563 BC. He was born in a kingdom that existed in a time on the Nepalese-Indian border. And he spent his whole of his life in that region. And because he was a patrician, he was brought up in the lap of luxury. He had everything that the sort of culture of his day could offer, anything he wanted. And having had a series of experiences of seeing an ill man, an ill person, an old person and a dead person, a dead body. And then finally, wandering mendicant, he resolved to sort of spend his life and leave his life of luxury and go and try and find the meaning of life, try and understand what it was all about. Often the stories of the Buddha, these four things are known as the four sites. And whether you get the impression as if like it was the first time you ever saw this, these things, whether it's literally true or not. The point is that at least of the time when he suddenly realized that there was disease, old age and death, and that is basically what we all have to deal with. And it really hit him. And the four sites seeing the wandering mendicant gave him the inspiration, if you like, to think that's the way forward. That's how I'm gonna find the meaning of life. That's how I'm gonna understand what life's about. And so according to some traditions at 19, according to other traditions at 29, he left his palace. And at that time, he got a wife and child as well. And the story often says that this is very difficult for him to do, but he just couldn't sort of bear the fact that this was gnawing at him what life was about. And this terrible feeling of onewe, I would guess. He left the palace at the age of 29 and became a wandering mendicant, a wandering monk. And after studying with various teachers and after six years of austerities of serious sort of asceticism, he had got himself into a such a state, actually. Forgive me, I'm just romping through this. And I wish I could do it justice by taking longer, but that just isn't the time. But essentially, after six years of struggling, he actually decided to stop the ascetic practices. He just thought this is ridiculous and I'm killing myself. I think one of his ascetic practices was to slowly sort of starve himself. And he realized he was starving himself to death. And so he took some food, but he'd come to the end. I think that's the important thing to realize. The Buddha had come to the end, yeah. He'd come from a life of utter luxury and he'd gone to a life of utter asceticism. And that had got him nowhere. And so he really had come to the end. He was right there, yeah, that was against the war. And he thought, well, you know, what can I do? There's nothing, I'm just, I've had it, you know, this is it. And I'm not gonna move, basically, till something happens. And so he made a meditation seat. And just said, I'm not gonna move. I'm just not gonna move from here. I suppose I'm gonna drop dead or I'm gonna gain enlightenment. And of course, he did gain enlightenment. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be telling the story. But he went through, I suppose, what we must call a resounding mystical experience and came out the other side, a transformed person. And there's aspects of that. There's one aspect of that at this stage. I just wanna bring out. I mean, it's said that he remembered a time when he'd had a spontaneous calming sort of meditation experience when he was a child or when he was a young man. And he thought, well, maybe there's a way forward with that. And so he let himself calm down and he let himself go into a very concentrated state. And it's quite interesting, as he was getting there, it was as if like the final sort of recalcitrant sort of energies of his own mind, if you like, started to attack him. In the Buddhist tradition, this is sort of known as Mara. Mara often stands for all the sort of negative parts of our ego, if you like. Mara is more a kind of trickster figure than a demon figure. And so, he was there. And first of all, Mara showed him all that was beautiful. Why do you wanna gain enlightenment? I mean, look at this, look at that. Look how beautiful there was. You know, you've known sensual pleasure. What do you mean enlightenment for sensual pleasure? Wow, I mean, you know, that's good enough, surely. And the Buddha is just supposed to just stay there, stay there, didn't move, didn't let it touch him. It just, okay, sensual pleasure is great, but it's never lasts, you know. And then when Mara realized that wouldn't work, he thought he tried another attack. He put the frightens on him. So, the Buddha came, I think, in contact with his deepest fears, you know. The deepest fears we all sort of carry, you know. Didn't remember 1984, that story. Whereas, there's a room 101. It's where everyone's, the deepest fears are. And I suspect the Buddha encountered that, actually. And he didn't move even then. They're very beautiful Buddhist iconography, actually. It often shows the Buddha stat and intense meditation. And there's a kind of aura around him. And all these sort of like, audible little beasties, monsters, that sort of thrown things at him. And as they sort of reach the aura of the Buddha, they sort of become, they become petals and fall to the ground. As if his resolve, yeah, his confidence, his resolve was, all this is going on, but it's not getting to him. It's not getting to him. I mean, I think we know, you know, we know this in our lesser way, don't we? We know, but when we want to change, that sort of there's all this sort of, lack of confidence can come up. And all this fear and why bother and all that stuff. But the final trick that Mara played, which I find it's really interesting and it's kind of really subtle. He couldn't get in by trying to frighten him. He couldn't get in by trying to seduce him. So he finally sort of, he said, oh yeah, well, okay, but what right have you got? You know, what right have you got to be sitting on the throne of enlightenment? What makes you think you could get enlightened? You know, who do you think you are then? You know, it's this kind of, and we do carry this around, don't we? We do carry this around in our own, in our limited way, our lesser way ourselves. What makes you think, you know, you can do this? And it's amazing, because the Buddha is supposedly supposed to touch the grains to make witness, he says, I'm here because I've done what I need to do. I've put in the effort, I've put in the effort. I've been struggling for six years in this life. And I've been struggling countless lifetimes to bring myself here. It's appropriate that I'm here. He wasn't shaken, you know, that final little sort of, that little, little worm of lack of confidence. He said, no, it's appropriate that I'm here. And according to the traditional story, then at that point, Mara did leave him. As I say, we know, we know this from our own alliance, don't we, our own fears and our own lack of confidence? And that is the sort of traditional, that is the very quick rendering of the traditional story of the Buddha, and the element of the enlightenment, the Buddha's enlightenment. And I must mean, I love the Buddha, the party canon, 'cause although it's a bit churchy, some of the translations can be, what's even amazing is you still get a feel for a person, you still get a feel for a human being that really manages to transform themselves in such a way as they just totally revolutionize their consciousness. I mean, what really does come through is the kindness and the patience, yeah. But it's quite interesting that, you know, some other parts of the tradition often create the Buddha as a very aloof figure, almost even a bit scary, you know, kind of a remote figure. I mean, I can kind of understand why this is in a sense. It's kind of looking at the sort of, it's almost abstracting enlightenment itself, as I kind of hinted at earlier, and seeing almost like the enlightened principle that there is in the universe. But I personally find that quite hard to relate to in a way, and I remember talking to my teacher about that, and he seemed to say, well, it's rather largely a matter of temperament. He thought, how you relate to the Buddha, what kind of image of the Buddha perhaps you carry around or find attractive. But I mean, sometimes, you know, there's this like, I get the impression that some people think of the Buddha as like this big golden bloke that sort of starts from planet to planet with a flashing light bulb on his head. You know, I am the Buddha, you know, which I find really strange and really sort of unapproachable and it kind of travesty in a way. And some people carry the, you know, carry around an image of the Buddha perhaps as a spiritual schoolmaster, yeah, who's sort of there sort of to tell them off, a wagging finger. I mean, I suspect what tends to happen is, when we get involved with the tradition, we all bring our own baggage, you know, and I think a lot of the stuff that might perhaps get laid onto God gets laid onto the Buddha. You know, they sort of see him as he's the transcendental policeman. But I wanted to say here and now, I've always wanted to say this in the talk, the Buddha was not a policeman. I mean, there are some images of the Buddha making very alien, I think, and not very attractive. Even rupees seem quite strange. But I'm not saying, I'm talking about they, they. I mean, this is sort of part of my own biography as well. I've carried around the idea of a Buddha of an authority figure. And I realized, you know, as it's changed from over the years, how unuseful that is. It's just not helpful at all. And I've cultivated a very different attitude to the Buddha and I now experience the Buddha in a very different way. And I also believe to not carry a kind of, what I consider, if you like, a realistic historical view of the Buddha on the one hand, which I actually find incredibly attractive. Though when described, it may sound a bit strange. It's the image I carry the Buddha is, it was a man in rags. You know, not robes, but rags. And he was probably unshaven. And certainly probably had stubbly hair. And he sort of lived outside, he slept rough. And in the rainy season in India, he lived in a hut, which is, you know, the Buddha's vihara was a hut. Maybe a wattle and door of hut. And he made me smelt a bit, you know. But I don't mean this in any way, depreciated. I find that even makes me love him more because he really was like, it's a subsistence. He'd really give it up everything. You know, such was the sort of like, the depth of his insight, his enlightenment experience. Indeed, nothing else, just, his food. And he wandered around. Oh, and that's one thing I suppose I wanted to say but earlier as well. But I've always found so impressive about the Buddha. It was after his enlightenment. He lived to be 80. And he was 35 when he got enlightened. He spent the next 45 years trying to communicate that vision, trying to communicate that experience. I find that so moving that really, it's so, so impressive. It makes me realize that, it might sound daft to put it like this, but you know, he really was enlightened. You know what I mean? He had nothing and he spent the whole of his life trying to sort of communicate this vision that you didn't need anything. And in fact, you could find supreme contentment if you could only reorganize your consciousness, if you like, and find out who you really are, experience who you really are. And even as he was dying, he was being protected by some of his disciples, you know? And someone still wasn't sure it was something. I wanted to have a quick word with the Buddha. And his attendant said, no, no, no. He's, you know, he's on the point of death, leave the man alone for the sake. And the Buddha heard, he said, no, no, no, no, no, no, let bring him in, bring him in. I mean, there's absolutely no fear of death as well, which is kind of incomprehensible to us, really, I think. I suppose another reason as well that we can tend to make an authority figure out to the Buddha is that we just find it hard to believe just how kind and wise the Buddha can be. You know, I mean, anyone more developed than we are, you know? What could there be to be afraid of? I mean, if they're not kinder and wiser than we are, then they're not more developed than we are. I mean, it's axiomatic that insight, spiritual development is going to make one a better person, you know? It's not going to make you an awkward cantankerous old boot. I mean, that's going to be absurd, wouldn't it? And as I think I've hinted earlier, I used to carry my own projections around. I remember in my early days in the movement, I confided in my teacher, Sankarachita, that I was afraid of him. The answer he gave was amazing, actually, because he said, "Well, not only me, I expect," I mean, he could have so easily have sort of answered in the vein of, "There, there, you know, there's nothing to fear, "I won't bite, I'm actually quite cuddly "once you get to know me." And I would, of course, probably alert nothing. But when he said, "Not only me, I expect," I realized that he was telling me, "Well, that's yours, isn't it? "You're bringing that, and probably, you know, "and you don't only bring it to me, I expect." And that was just amazing. I found that so helpful. And indeed, you know, Sankarachita is a very decent bloke, and he spent the whole of his adult life establishing a spiritual community in the West, which is no mean feat. But so, how much more so would the Buddha, yeah? What could there be to be afraid of? And the Buddha I carry around with me is a friend, yeah? A wise friend, someone who is nothing but love. It's the only way I can think of describing. Someone on my side, yeah? Someone not trying to trip me up or looking down on me, but holding and encouraging me, pure love. I mean, we often talk about the Buddha being a supreme wisdom and compassion. But I think the word compassion in our language, it's not so much used in current English. And often it sounds like compassion, it sounds like dispassion, you know? But compassion is kindness. And kindness, I think, is one of the most beautiful words in the world. So what could there be to be afraid of? So what is it about this person that made it possible for him to become nothing but love, yeah? What transformation had taken place under the Bodhi tree that made this possible, this believable, yeah? It's true. I mean, we can look at it many ways. And indeed, I think the rest of this talk is trying to explore that, what was that transformation? You could talk about the Buddha had woken up from the dream of life, the dream of ego-centric position. Yeah? As we all probably know, Buddha means awake. One who is awake. So I am a Buddha, can just as well be easily rendered as, I am awake. And I must admit I find this a much more accessible way to think of the Buddha. And indeed, the Buddha did recommend to his followers the importance of using the local vernacular in communicating his teaching effectively. And I remember asking my teacher, Sangarachata, once, how he thought and enlightened being experiences the world. And he replied to the effect, well, actually, it's very similar to us, but with a major difference. They're not concerned with I and mine. They would see a tree as we'd see a tree, but without any self-reference. I mean, I remember another instance also some time ago in a study group where Sangarachata once said, but what more enlightenment can there be than to be irreversibly positive? I remember thinking at the time, that was a bit prosaic. Some years later, nearly 20 years later, I asked him again about this. And he commented that, well, irreversibility was the point. But I don't think on the first occasion, I was able really to take in the idea of being irreversibly positive. But what could be more wonderful? And this definition was so stripped of mumbo jumbo. It's a great definition to be irreversibly positive. Yet I was initially disappointed, yeah? I mean, the answer wasn't exciting enough or exotic enough, such was my immaturity at the time. But it did happen 20 years ago. And it's funny, though, I've never forgotten that phrase, actually, and never, and it's always been with me, irreversibly positive. And it's interesting how the years, how my disappointment has turned into real excitement. And so I've always thought, you know, if I could really understand what was going on in the mind of a Buddha, then I'd be able to sort of develop it much more easily. You know, I've always wanted to sort of, if the Buddha was here now and say, well, what's it like to be enlightened? How is it different for you? And there's a story in the Pali canon that brings that out. It's a lovely story, a very simple story, in a way. And I've sort of been pondering over it for years. I think, finally, maybe I've just got a little bit of purchase on it, and it's the story of Bahia, Bahia of the bark garment. That's a translation for, isn't it? Bahia of the bark garment. It's one of those 19th century translations. But he was a guy who had been practicing for years. This is from the Pali canon, yeah? He had been practicing for years, and he'd realized that he'd reached a kind of block hiatus in his practice, and he got very stuck. And he'd heard of the Buddha, and he'd realized that he needed to speak to the Buddha. And so he went and found the Buddha, and put a question to him, give me a teaching. He'd actually caught the Buddha as the Buddha was on his arms round, as he was begging for food to eat for that day. And the Buddha sort of said, well, I will give you a teaching, but just let me finish collecting me food and eating. And Bahia was in a hurry, and he was saying, no, no, please, please, look, I really, I'd like a teaching there, can I have a teaching there, please? And the Buddha said, no, I actually am, you know, I'm not gonna be long, you know, I mean, I mean, I eat me food mindfully, but it doesn't take me forever. So, you know, I've come on to see in a couple of minutes, you know, in a few minutes. But that wasn't good enough. Bahia said, oh no, please, give us a teaching. And the Buddha said, all right, as is most of you know, if you ask the Buddha something three times, you're gonna get an answer. Whether you want it or not, but actually if you've asked three times, you do want it, don't you? And probably a lot of you will know the answer. The famous answer that the Buddha did give big ear, which we need to remember is the appropriate teaching that the Buddha thought it was to give to him. And he said, in the scene, there will be just the scene. In the herd, there will be just the herd. In the imagined, just the imagined. And in the cognized, just the cognized. In the scene, just the scene. In the herd, just the herd. In the imagined, just the imagined. And in the cognized, just the cognized. And I think I was saying, I've pondered on that one for years, it sounds like something straight out of Zen, doesn't it? But I think what we need to remember as well is that here was in a hurry and didn't want to wait. And I think what it's about is that the Buddha's trying to tell him, be in the present. That's all you've got. Be in the present. Know what you're doing when you're doing it. Have you noticed that a lot of us, a lot of the time, we spend our lives creating stories, which we're intoxicated by, yeah? We lose conscious of the present moment all the time. We lose present moment awareness. We always seem to be sort of chattering away to ourselves, planning or remembering, yeah? So what I think, in a way, perhaps the message, one of the messages I want to get across, so to speak, is the importance of present moment awareness. The importance of being in the present. The importance of attending to our experience. The importance, if you like, of mindfulness. But I think this really is the key. And I think really that is what the Buddha was trying to say. In the scene, just the scene, in the herd, just the herd, in the imagined, just the imagined, in the cognized, just the cognized. But there's an interesting kind of paradox that comes. One of the greatest sort of age to us developing mindfulness is actually meta-emotional positivity. 'Cause it's often our fear of discomfort, or indeed our fear of pain, which is the obstacle to experiencing the present moment. We're very happy to be in the moment if it's pleasant. But even then, we don't even stay in the moment though, which is kind of ironic. 'Cause we just get lost and absorbed, and kind of go unconscious. And there's me as more of enjoyable sense experience. Ooh, it's gone. We're lost, so to speak. But more often than not, we push away discomfort. We push away pain. And the problem with pain is it's painful. But I think another element of the Buddha's insight, the Buddha's enlightenment, is that the way he was able to be nothing but love, was because he had overcome his fear of life. He didn't shrink from experience. He'd faced his fears, accepted them, owned them, gone through them, feeling them, feeling more, not feeling less. I think when we're living a spiritual life, we have to realize that it's not about feeling less. It's about feeling more, and all those feelings are not always gonna be pleasant. And yet it seems to come through with what I've spoken about, the enlightenment of the Buddha, how he faced his fears. And I find this so human in a way. He wasn't free of fear until he'd gained enlightenment. He's like us, we all have fear, and he'd face them and overcome them. In a way, I think he's surrendered. Not surrendered to them in a sense, given in, but surrendered by not trying to hide from them. Part of the whole vision, I think, of his enlightenment to realize who he really was, to realize that he wasn't this limited view he had of himself, Siddhartha Gautama, this historical figure, or in my case, Jina Priya, or whoever you are, you know? We all think we are our egos. It's interesting we use the term ego, but it's not like I am my ego. I mean, my ego's me. There isn't anything else sort of thing. That is how we experience ourselves most of the time. And I think part of the Buddha's vision was that he realized that wasn't who he was or who any of us are deep down. When you penetrate experience, when you can penetrate the heart of experience, you realize that your ego consciousness is not the final terms of your being. I think for the Buddha, part of that, there's no such thing as wrong experiences for him, yeah? I mean, he had whatever he had. And I think he saw that the past and the future were constructs of the mind. So he was able to be in the present. He could be in the present because he wasn't trying to push any experience away. And he wasn't sort of lost or intoxicated with pleasant experience. And he wasn't shunning, unpleasant experience, so to speak. And that, I think, though, is in the light of realizing who he really was. And that put his experience in perspective. And so he was able to manifest equanimity regarding of the circumstances of his life. I think the number of this in the scene, just the scene, et cetera, is all there is is right now. All we've got is right now. So normality, yeah, is hardly ever living in the present. I mean, even when we have noble ambitions, yeah, we're not living in the present. I mean, to have ambition seems a very natural phenomena. It's part of our human makeup. We all have ambitions. Some of us want to be rich or powerful or famous. Some may want to be very knowledgeable and get degrees. Some just want a little niche for themselves where they can look out of the window and see the same scenery every day. And some want to find the perfect partner and so on and on and on. And even if we reject any or all of these and say we want to live a full-time spiritual life, we still have ambitions. We have ambition to become an excellent meditators, to be perfectly peaceful, or to see the results of this or that lifestyle. There's always something to hope for. There's even to gain enlightenment. We've put it all in the future, never in the present. Instead of being attentive to what is now, we're hoping for something better to come, maybe tomorrow. And then when tomorrow comes, it has to be the next day again, because it still wasn't perfect enough. If we were to change our thinking habits and rather become attentive to what is, attentive to the present moment, we would find something that really would satisfy us. But when we're looking at that which doesn't yet exist as more perfect, more wonderful, more satisfying, then we can't find anything at all. Because we're looking for something that isn't there. I'm reminded of a picture I saw as a child in a book. I don't know if this ever really happened, but it's basically a donkey cart, and a man going along in a donkey cart, but he's holding it like a kind of fishing rod. And on the end is a sort of carrot, yeah? So he's got this, he's going along like that. And the trouble is, of course, the carrot's always in front of the poor old donkey. Wherever he goes, if he moves forward, the carrot's always, he's never gonna get the poor old carrot. It's always in front and never reached. And that's often how a lot of our hopes for a satisfaction in the future are like that. I mean, obviously it's a worthwhile ambition to develop insight. But if we keep on looking at it as some future time, it's going to escape us. I remember some years ago on TV, there was a programme with a presenter called Angus Deaton, some of you may have heard of, may have seen. And it was one of those, it was a shame really, 'cause it was a lovely opportunity, it was flown away. It was a programme, he was going all over the world, I think, trying to find happiness. And I think the last programme, he went, and I think it was probably even the last few minutes of the last programme. He actually went and found a Sri Lankan Buddhist monk who was living as a hermit. And all this sort of like the TV man and camera man microphones and I had trekked up this hill sort of thing to get to the monk and Angus Deaton and he sort of played to the camera and everything. And all the way back to finding the meaning of life, you know, and all that. And I'm going to find out, and he goes and talks as a word with this monk. And it's quite interesting. And it's another one of those lovely dialogues. He says to the monk, 'I want happiness, 'can you tell me where I can get happiness?' And it's great, I mean, the monk gives him an answer, but you can't deal with it, it's the wrong answer for him. But unfortunately, it's the right answer. And I think it's an amazing answer. And what he said was Angus Deaton again, 'Can you tell me, I want happiness, 'can you tell me where I can find it?' And the monk said, 'Hm, want in happiness, 'seeking happiness, craving happiness. 'That's the problem. 'There's nothing else which I can tell you.' Poor old Angus Deaton, it was the wrong answer. And he just said, 'Oh, thanks very much, good afternoon. 'I don't know, I mean, certainly didn't seem to work on TV, 'but maybe it changed his life, I don't know. 'I actually suspect not.' But that is the answer. If we're always looking for something in the future, it's always going to elude us. If we only think of the goal in the future, it's not going to come about. Because we're not using all our energy and strength to recognise each moment. It's only in the recognition of each moment where we find insight. We talk so much about the path, but we mustn't take it too literally. The paradox is that the path, the journey, the way to use all these spatial metaphors is to fully enter the present. We could say that the journey's destination is to arrive in the now. And this recognition of each moment is seeing things as they really are. If this moment isn't enough, then there isn't enough. I think the Buddha realised this too. I think if we can really realise this, really realise that future fulfilment isn't possible, then one can give it up, one can give up the hankering after it. I think another little story illustrates this. There's a story of Banzan, a Japanese practitioner, who had been practising for many years and had reached the wall. It seems like this can happen quite a bit. And he was kind of stuck. But he gained insight by overhearing a conversation, over hearing a conversation in the marketplace between a butcher and, of all things, not very Buddhist, but there you go, a butcher and a customer. And the conversation went to me like this. The customer went up to the butcher and said, "Please, I'd like a piece of meat. "I'd like your best piece of meat, please. "I want your best piece of meat. "Make sure you give me your best piece of meat. "I only want your best piece of meat. "I want your best piece of meat." And the butcher replied, "Well, all my pieces of meat are the best. "There's not a piece of meat that isn't the best." And with that, Banzan is supposed to have gained insight. If all your present moments are the best, then there isn't anything you want to reject. And it's quite interesting. We seem so stuck in our sort of hoping, yeah, hoping for things in the future. One could say even that we think what isn't is more real than what is. 'Cause we think often we're spent thinking about the past. But we're not in the past, the past has gone. It's totally gone. And we're often contemplating the future, and the future hasn't happened. All we have is right now, this millisecond of consciousness, if you like. But what we tend to think is, we think our fantasies are more real than that. We think what isn't is more real than what is. And I find that's a sort of little mantra I have, really, that sort of keep reminding myself, you think what isn't is more real than what is? It just helps me to sort of regain my mindfulness, my awareness. But also I want to look again at what is it then, what is it that keeps us from experiencing present moment awareness? And it's our, it is actually our fear of discomfort. It is our unwillingness to experience discomfort. It's interesting that the first truth in the Buddhist tradition, the forenows truth, the first truth is suffering. But actually we won't suffer. In a sense, we won't suffer. This is the bad news, you know, we don't want to know. And yet this denial of suffering is suffering. I mean, don't let me sort of stand me. I'm not saying we have to seek out sort of ways to suffer. That would be insanity. You don't have to sort of look for it. It's sort of staring us in the face, isn't it? We all experience discomfort in our life, do a greater or lesser degree. But the thing is, I think, is we, it's staring us in the face. We just have to learn to stare back. We have to sort of acknowledge and allow, allow this in. And this isn't easy. No, this isn't easy. And we can help ourselves by cultivating positive emotion, by the meta-beharvaner. It's basically whatever works to help us develop positive emotion. I mean, we may have psychological issues that distort our view of ourselves. And we can seek help for them. We can remain in counseling or psychotherapy. But if that is the service of the spiritual, then that is spiritual. You know, there's no contradiction there at all. We do what we need to do to help us develop positive emotion. And if we can develop positive emotion, this will allow us to be more present. It's as if mindfulness and meta are, meta are positive emotion, mindfulness, present moment awareness. It's as if mindfulness and meta are the same thing. One you could say mindfulness is the kind of cognitive aspect of our experience, if you like. And meta is the affective, the emotional aspect of our experience, no? And to be mindful, you need to be happy. And to be happy, you need to be mindful. They're like the wings of a bird. You need both to fly. And it's quite interesting. If we can penetrate to the heart of our experience, if we can live in the present, if we can fully engage in the now, which I think is what the Buddha is saying, is in the scene, just the scene, in the herd, just the herd. If we can know our experience for what it is, know when we're fantasizing about the future, that's what we're doing right now. Know when we are reflecting on the past, know that we're doing it right now. If we can do that, even our time perception will change. They say that an enlightened being doesn't expand to time the same way as we do. They often use the term the transcending of time. And this very, I think, easily misunderstood. But what I think it's getting at is that they don't experience the sequentiality and boredom of time that we do. I mean, we all know time. You know, we all know experienced psychological time, yeah? You notice I'm sure that when something's happening in a range, it's a drag, you know? That you can't, for some reason, you can't engage in the present moment. It's some way not acceptable to you. You know, time goes on and on and on and on, yeah? Two quotes from a very famous 14th century German mystic called Meister Eckhart. And he said, "Your heart is always fluttering "over yesterday and tomorrow." Another thing he said, "It's time "that keeps the light from reaching us. "There is no great obstacle to ultimate reality than time." But as I said before, it's often our fear of discomfort that stops us being present, that stops us being in the know. It's not easy to face this discomfort. I mean, especially in our present age where the received wisdom seems to be, you know, be as comfortable as possible all the time. Always try and get what you want. I mean, we'd be foolish not to, wouldn't we? I mean, perhaps it's always been the case, I don't know. But today, what with our staggering technologies the offer seems to be more real than ever. I also want to sort of reiterate that we must remember not to take the metaphor of the path to literally, yeah? You can look upon the spiritual life, sometimes deep down. I think we're sort of hoping to take out a transcendental insurance policy, you know? We're hoping that some future golden state where all is going to be well. We kind of create a heaven realm in the future. But if we're going to gain enlightenment, we need to gain it right now. A future enlightenment is a non-enlightenment. It's a continued in darkenment. It's about being here right now. When we practice, we practice right now, so to speak. When we meditate, we attempt to transform ourselves right now. I think another aspect and a very profound aspect that can happen when we are allowing ourselves, we can allow ourselves to experience right now. We can allow ourselves to gain concentration. We can allow ourselves to become absorbed. Is, if we can allow ourselves to live a life in the scene, just the scene. It's a very, very profound thing can happen. Because we give ourselves, we set up the condition for us to really experience who we really are, to really experience that we're not, we, when I say we, are a real identity. And this is where it really gets very difficult to talk about. And I'm very much talking in metaphors and models. We really can experience who we really are. We can really realize that we are not the content of our experience. We're not the content of the experience. We are, if you like, the context, the witnessing presence that our experience takes place in. Our true identity is not an object among objects. We're not who we think we are. Our consciousness is not an object among objects. When we talk about being self-conscious, in a sense, we're not truly self-conscious in that verbal sense. It seems as though our consciousness is self-luminous. But whenever we say, you know, I am conscious of me, it's always a symbol of ourselves. We've always made ourselves an object. And yet we're always in the driver's seat looking out, so to speak. So when we talk about self-consciousness, that in-self is a symbol. Our consciousness is directly experienced and really doesn't need to be named, nor can it be. And this direct experience of our consciousness, not as an object, is an experience of the transcendental as well. This consciousness, this consciousness can't be predicated at all. You can't say anything about it at all. That's why you can't say it's my consciousness or your consciousness. It's just consciousness. Because anytime you say something about it, you create an object among objects, and that's not it. That's only a symbol of what it is. Try and make this more clearer. I'd like you to go with me on a fantasy trip, yeah? You may find it useful to close your eyes. It's up to you. I want you to imagine a giant, clear, plastic bag. And in that bag, let us place all the things that you think you might be. In first, we'll go with your physical being, your body. Then your name, your color, your race, your religion, the place where you live, your country of allegiance, your sexual orientation, and all your clothes, your beliefs and opinions, and your judgments, and so on, until everything is included. Everything you think you are goes in this bag, and the bag contains your mind as well, because that's a very crucial part of who you think you are. In the bag? No, let's just observe the bag, okay? Everyone's looking at the bag. If you forgot to include anything you think you are, go ahead, include it, put it in the bag. No, observe it. Good. Okay, so who's that observing the totality of what you've called your life? That nameless, placeless, timeless observer is the one and only real you. You are not the content of your life bag. You are the observer of it, and you definitely contain all that stuff, but that stuff's not you. It is merely within you. That thingless thing, that placeless place that exists in timeless time is context. You are the context of life. And I think that's one of the things that the Buddha penetrated when you gained enlightenment. I think if you do understand that, and you know you think, oh great, well I'm the context of life, fantastic. No, into the bag with that as well. That goes in the bag too. Moment you made an object into the bag. It's not about understanding, that may be a start, but it's about experiencing it directly, that informing the whole of your being every moment. Yeah, I think the Buddha not only stood this, but experienced the truth of this. That's who we really are. So why is it still so hard to experience that directly? Well, it's still that we still fear discomfort. We're still a long willing to face discomfort. Unfortunately, that is the bad news. And it's only often a personal catastrophe that pushes our nose up against it. And there's nowhere else to go and we just have to face reality. A friend of mine had an accident with his bike. Very interesting, I found this, because it really just showed me the implications of if we could be in the present moment. He was actually knocked off his bike by a taxi in London. And he said it's really interesting. It's really weird to think, it's really interesting. But it was really interesting because all his control mechanisms, because I think another thing what we often do in motion time is we're trying to control life. And his whole control mechanism was quite literally thrown away. He was thrown up in the air. And I remember him telling me, he said he sort of like could experience himself directly sort of going through the air. And time sort of seemed to sort of go very slowly. It's like came to a quite interesting... You see, it's as if he was really in the moment. Reality had sort of like really bitten him on the nose, so to speak, and there was nowhere else to go. And it's quite remarkable, the implications of that, you see, I think. And I tell you that, just to bring out that sort of really, I wanted to make the point that, "Hey, our time perception can change in that situation." And it's often only when reality really knocks on our door that we accept it. There's no other member in America who's gone totally blind. And he's supposed to have said that it's the best thing that's ever happened to him, so I'm told. I mean, I guess as well, it's probably the worst. But I certainly know in a kind of lesser way, that sometimes, you know, you cannot dodge the limitations of the situation. You just have to fully embrace them. And a kind of magic takes over. A kind of magic can happen. I mean, we all have pain to a greater, a lesser degree. We all have pain, both large and small, visible and invisible, yeah? But when we can accept it, then there's often a way through. I mean, just a couple of small examples from my own life. I remember once somebody upset me some years ago. They were sort of like a bit on kind to me in what they said. And I remember sort of carrying that round all the afternoon. And, you know, you think of all the clever things you wish you'd said, and you know, and it just runs through your mind. You're sort of doing your own version of the hate behalf, aren't you? And ooh, getting yourself and carrying your grievance around. But there was a change of good while I was having a bath. And I think that may have been. I was having a bath, I was relaxing. And I just suddenly realised I felt really wounded. I felt really upset, really hurt. And I'd been kind of denying that to myself. And I sort of like let it in, and I'd say, oh! And even my body relaxed, you know? I mean, we carry so much literally around in our bodies, our kind of armour ourselves to life. But it really changed. The moment I sort of thought, yeah, I hurt. I wish you hadn't said that, and that hurt me. The moment I owned that, it changed. It changed. And I was able to let go, I was able to move on. I'd actually had the experience, you know, my reality was that I hurt, but I was in denial. And I just think that that's that is how it is. I mean, another very brief incident, was I remember I was doing, I was doing a meta-baharvin some years ago, and I was feeling particularly crabby, you know? I actually, not really that. I was feeling kind of like a lump of wood in a way. I was struggling to do this meta-baharvin, oh, god. I was sort of getting nowhere. And, you know, and sort of came through in my mind, I don't know the meta-baharvin, I don't actually like people. Oh, well, god, you know, oh, god, stand this. People going on your nerves most of the time. And the moment I owned that, the moment I could admit that to myself, then it's amazing that the sort of meta came flooding through. It's as if we have to be honest about our reality. And when we can be honest about our reality, we can move on. We don't get stuck with it. And I think that's what keeps us in present moment awareness. It seems to be it's about surrender. It's about surrender. But of course, you can't say, oh, okay, well, I accept a bit of pain, so I can gain a bit of insight. That's not surrendering, that's bargaining. I mean, I think another way we could look at it, I think part of another implication of in the scene, just the scene, in the herd, just the herd, is it's all about, in a way I've touched on this as well. It's all about our identity, yeah? It's who we think we are. I mean, if experience doesn't fit in with a view of ourself, it's resisted, yeah? But sometimes reality does just push through. And all we can do is surrender to what's happening. I mean, in a way, I guess it's a kind of dying in a way, but it's a dying while you're still alive. And I think enlightenment, enlightenment is not having any fixed identity. So whatever your experience, whatever experience comes your way, it's neither sort of fled from or clung to. We could perhaps talk about the wisdom of no escape. Very interesting German female writer who died, actually, a few years ago, a cancer called Iocamer. She used to use the phrase a lot, that I, it's a lost cause. I really like that. It's a lost cause, if you expect to find satisfaction in the future, it's a lost cause, it's a lost cause. And I really like that. And I think if we can discover the futility of running away, then we will be able to be in the present moment. But this does take, does take courage, and undoubtedly does take courage. And it almost feels like we'd be mad to give in, because we are so programmed, programmed to survive. It is interesting, though, not only, as it were, do we flee from pain, but we even flee from the fear of pain. It's amazing how our mind can play tricks on us. And I heard a story once, which I found really fascinating. There was a man who was taken into casualty, who got a nail through his foot. And he was in utter agony, absolute agony. And they had to give him morphine, which is sort of like serious stuff. The only way they could cut the boot off his foot was to give him morphine. And they did, and he was able to relax enough to let them cut off the boot. And when they cut the boot off, the nail wasn't through his foot at all, it was between his toes. Amazing. And that was his anticipated, I have no doubt whatsoever, he experienced pain. But it was his fear of pain, that was as much as the actuality. Quite amazing, isn't it? Actually, somebody else, the other day, they told me another one quite briefly. I tell, I'm really shocked by him, I must say. It was someone, they said they were locked in a freezer, and they died of hypothermia. It turned out actually the freezer was turned off. It was a kind of expectation. I suppose the thing is, you know, we do us through pain, we kind of think we'd be mad not to, and we feel like we're defeated, don't we? But I suppose all you can do is when you are defeated, all we can surely do is accept it. And I don't mean stupidly, you know, and there's that lovely old, I think it was originally a prayer, but you can convert it to a Buddhist context, is sort of like, you know, may I accept what I can't change, may I change what I can change, and may I have the wisdom to know the difference? I think that is a wisdom to be sought after. So really, what I've been trying to say is, you know, all we have is right now, the present moment. Isn't it true that all your life has just been the present moment? Always. When you reflect on the past or anticipate the future, don't you do it right now? Is it not always right now? This is all we have, yeah? And this is the gateway, so to speak, to reality, the only gateway, yeah? Seeing things as they really are, and seeing things as they really are, it isn't, so phrase used a lot in the Buddhist tradition, seeing things as they really are. And this isn't a philosophical statement, yeah? It's not a theory about the nature of a atomic or subatomic structure of the nature of the universe. Seeing things as they really are, you're not suddenly seeing atoms dancing around in some kind of pattern or other. Seeing things as they really are is having the appropriate perspective on our experience. It's being always present, knowing that now is now, and what is remembered is remembered now, and what is anticipated is anticipated now. So, what essentially I think I've wanted to say and wanted to emphasize is present moment awareness, yeah? Which may mean we have to face our resistances to pain, at least to discomfort. And yet, through this present moment awareness, we can see who we really are, and this is much bigger than our egos. We are this unpredicated consciousness, the space, so to speak, where it all happens, the context rather than the content of our experience. But remember, unpredicated consciousness, it isn't the answer, yeah? As I said earlier, that goes in the bag too, if you experience it as an object. I think what's essential about the Buddha's enlightenment is he experienced it and knew it directly. This was his experience. He was able to be in the present and know his experience for what it was and know who he really was. I think it's like a good example of how easy it is to sort of befuddle ourself with language. As I say, we're not this unpredicated consciousness, but like, yes, we are, but not as an object, not as a set of words, as a direct experience. It's like the word we is often used in the Buddhist tradition, shunya-tah, you know? I mean, shunya-tah is not a thing, but it's the way of saying that reality cannot be named. Reality is bigger than any definition. If you like, reality is unnameable. But then that's another word, oh, it's unnameable. Okay, great, lovely, great, no. Whenever we use names, we create objects, but reality transcends this, yeah? That is why it's sometimes called the transcendental. And that too isn't a thing, yeah? Reality is bigger than any definition, transcends any definition. So, to conclude, I think the way for us to develop insight, the way forward perhaps, I feel certainly the way forward for me, we need to sort of allow ourselves to open our hearts and quieten our minds. And whatever we do that enables us to do this is gonna open the doors of perception and lead us to freedom. I think this is a basic law of life. And we can all do this. And finally, I'm going to finish in a good old time-honored FWA, which is almost a cliche. I'm going to finish on an image. I want to evoke an image, yeah. I want to leave you with an image, which I hope maybe sums up what I've been trying to say. And I thought, well, what could be more appropriate in this case than an image of a Buddha? But I suppose although all images of Buddha's may be said to be special, this is a particularly special image of a Buddha. This is the most beautiful image of a Buddha you'll ever see. And if you wish to know what this Buddha image looks like, look in the mirror. Thank you. (audience applauds) - We hope you enjoyed this week's podcast. Please help us keep this free. Make a contribution at freeputus.io.com/donate. And thank you. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]
