DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

DTD - 108 - Lucy is not listening to The Archers!

On this week’s episode we have calls from:The latest twist and turns in Ambridge have brought even dedicated listener Lucy to a deafening halt as she refuses to listen next week - which is lucky as there will be no podcast next week. She promises to listen the following week by when Roifield will be resettled in one of the colonies.Yes Lucy feels that the story Rob told the police was unbelievable - but it gives Helen motive and the means and opportunity are already established, so a conviction should be easily established. With Rob home of course Henry will join him.Callers this week are particularly perceptive and as usual the missing cast members (particularly Kathy) are lamented - it is simply terribly poor that such a constant friend of Pat's would not be mentioned.It has been said many times that one over dominating story does not work - when will a new editor sort it out - the post has now been advertised Millie Belle reports. There was also a question about how the podcast came together.DTD was an original Roifield creation which he derived from watching the "Walking Dead" and listening to related podcasts. He bumped into Lucy on Twitter and spotted she joked about The Archers. So slightly inappropriate DMs about music on Saturday started it and they met on Tuesday at the Royal Festival Hall, she gave him a funny look and the first show was the following Monday and the rest is history.Do not miss the Tweet of the week! Or review of the week either - you cannot miss it as Lucy is forced by Roifield to repeat it several times!KosmoCalls this week from:Witherspoon who has an inviteMs Alliance is staggered at Pat and TonyNew York Nigel who wants to know what the surrealist tribute wasJulie who has a Jess theorySteven Perkins who doesn’t know what’s going on with Little Henry Sound EffectGoddess Deeva who sounds a bit annoyed with TonyandJo Jo Sexy Heels who’s heard the cool music

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Duration:: 1h 35m
Broadcast on:: 26 Apr 2016
Audio Format:: other

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Taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes in detail. This podcast is a Roy Field Brown production. Find others on iTunes. All right, here I know. Hi, I'm Sarah Smith. If you're the type of person that goes to Liberty as other people would go in Safari, and the fact that John Lewis doesn't have a funeral service makes you fret, Sarah Smith cleaning cloths are for you. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer. Proud sponsors of Dumpty Dum. This week's show is sponsored by Tracey Shevin, who is raising funds for her local cancer unit in Stoke-on-Trent. Her husband Andrew was diagnosed nearly five years ago with stage four cancer. He's been lucky to survive these five years. However, unfortunately, the cancer has spread further, and he's got to the stage where treatment wouldn't be effective. During the five years, Andrew has had several chemotherapy treatments, as well as operations. He's received fabulous treatment by the staff at the hospital, and Tracey would like to give something back to the unit, maybe a comfy chair for a patient or their relatives. If you'd like to donate to her fund, the page is justgiving.com/tracey-chevin. That's C-H-E-V-I-N. Thank you from Tracey Shevin with Dumpty Dog Nancy and Dumpty Mog pooshed. [Music] [Music] [Music] This is Dumpty Dog. The show about the relative Dr. John has sent a sandwich in the heart of the middle. It's under diminutive dancing dynamo arches, prints that his voice feel brown and with me are purple dishy values. Lucy. And the last part of our celebrity death epic spring is you. [Music] [Music] And it's cause you're anything. [Music] The only one who wants to take you roughly. [Music] I only want to take you roughly in the hubble lane, hubble lane, hubble lane. [Music] Hubble lane, hubble lane. [Music] Hubble lane, hubble lane. [Music] I only want to take you roughly in the hubble lane. Now today's Dumpty Dog. It's not a Dumpty Dog at all. Well, it wasn't, was it folks? It was a homage to the Great Purple one. You passed this. Do you want all Alan Parks? Is that an homage? [Music] A homage from Ava. That's the Great Purple one who passed last week. Yes, it was all about purple lane folks because, and there's going to be a couple more herbal lays. Pepper in the show, but Lucy. If a famous pop star has popped his clogs, hasn't popped his clogs? Sorry, and that's very few left. That's true. Ronnie Corbett. I know. Alan Rickman. Victoria Wood. How did you feel when you heard the Victoria Wood news? It was honestly, I honestly felt this sounds really lovely and ridiculous, but I honestly felt as if a friend had died. It was, because she's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. And I've, I've, I've thought she was, you know, she's somebody that I, you know, just, just absolutely worshipped. Thought she was fantastic. And it's amazing how so many people said, I never realized she was that old or I never realized she, I always thought she was, I always thought she was my age because she was so good at appealing to everybody, to making, just being so warm and human that she sort of everybody felt like she got them. And, and so everybody was, was, was surprised at how old or young or whatever she was at her age, because they just felt that she represented them, I think. Yes, she was absolutely fantastic. And I was genuinely gutted. And you sort of think about all the things that she might have done, and you're never going to see. And, you know, yeah, just terrible, terrible, terrible. Hi. Oh, well. Anyway, yes. That shouldn't really be giggling out of the end of that. Best best edit that bit out. Well, no, it's because we're English, you see, so we have to giggle. Yeah, because we're uncomfortable with talking about grief, aren't we? She actually did the best sketch in the world about that. Did she? About how it, yeah, she said in America when someone dies or in Italy, you know, in India, people chucked themselves on the, on the, on the corpse in, in Italy. There's whaling and gnashing of teeth. And then in Arabic countries, you have the allulating thing. And in, in England, you have someone's died, right. Seventy-two bats conny, you slice out scrap. Well, we do it now. We do it. You slice out scrapers, you know. Yes, if any of our overseas listeners, I'm sure you have, because if you're this sort of thing, then your Victoria would sort of think. But if you haven't ever seen any of it, then go and look at it because it tells you more about England, the Victoria Wood and Alan Bennett between them pretty much have written English social history. And if you, yeah, if you want to have a laugh and also clean an enormous amount about how we actually live, how it's not like Down to Now Be, it's like Victoria Wood. Then, yeah, go and watch as seen on TV. Have they written English social history, or do they comment on modern British moories? Well, I think if you, if you just, You'll find I'm correct here. Oh, all right. Then yes, you're correct. But I tell you who will also does, does a good wake in the way in, you know, after someone's passed the Irish? Did you see, I posted upon under on the Twitters about a month ago, Farmer J. Foley, who died age 45. And in the pub, there was seeing this favourite song, Mr. Bright Side. Oh, yes, and the bloke stood up on the bar and said it. Goose pimples, that was, it was amazing. Absolutely. They know how to party, don't they, when someone's passed. Yeah, and it goes for days. Yeah, in Jamaica, they do a thing called Seven Nights. So they just party for Seven Nights with someone's past as well. Wow. Seven Nights at drinking and partying. Yeah, I'd be dead after that. It's not been a bit queasy on Night Five. By Night Seven, they'd be carrying me out into the body bag. Um, if somebody does want to do a Dum de Dum, because I think that's where, that's where we departed from our script, wasn't it? Yes, sorry. Can you remind our listeners how that was in the accolade of Dum de Dum of the week, and let's hope that no celebrity has passed. No. So there's no armages. No, I think as a Dum de Dum, give us a plot prediction or test your bedsprings. Ring us on 0200 31 3105, or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thanks to lovely Shambrits for her amazing voices, to Cosmo for his podcast, Rhyndups, and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Um, thanks also to Derek for the learning back bedroom. Derek has had a very disappointing week. He is not in a good mood. He, um, he entered a bought us to echo, prize draw to win a night with Madonna. He's a big fan. So he splashed out and spent 35 quid on tickets. He won, and then he found out he wasn't Madonna. It was mad Donna. Hope once worked with a bloke. He was Madonna's boyfriend. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's before a night. Well, he, oh my, what was she like? Well, I never met her. But, uh, he just constantly just went on about it for, it's before she went out with Guy Ritchie, so she just moved to London. And, um, he was her boyfriend for, I don't know how long before Guy Ritchie. And, reading in between the lines, she dumped him because he didn't have, he wasn't a man of means. Oh, you know, I'm not saying he was broke, but. Yeah. She was, you know, he was completely nuttly, a kept man and didn't, and I think she probably could have, um, gone with that, but he didn't have the social circle. Right. You know, his friends weren't jumping in Lamborghinis and pourshes and. Well, at that time, she was desperately trying to be English. Wasn't she? Yes, absolutely. He was around in tweed caps and. Absolutely, absolutely. But all he did was just, just talk about her constantly. You, you know, would you? I mean, that would, that would be pretty much probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to you. For him, I mean, for some people, that's kind of, that would be like the one, the one thing that made them different from everyone else. So they wouldn't ever stop talking about it. True. But he was wore the same clothes every day as well. Oh, what? The same ones or just he had a lot. No, he wore the same clothes. I'm not saying they were dirty. So he probably washed them over for a night, but he also wore the same clothes every day, but he was bloody handsome. I can't give him that. His name was Andy. Yeah, black hair and piercing blue eyes. And he just, he was obviously some kind of ex-model when he's a little bit younger and stuff. Lucky look great. But yeah, Madonna this, Madonna that, Madonna this, Madonna that. Then we went here, then we went there. Mm. Did he follow Madonna? What did he call her? Madonna. What? To her face? Oh, he probably had some kind of. Oh, no, he probably had some kind of pet name for her. No, but her name isn't Madonna. I mean, I know, no, it is, isn't it? It is. Donna Louis did she go. But it's just, it was calling some, yeah. It called a Maddie. I don't know. I can't remember. You know, he called a Madonna. Yeah, but you're such a bloke. You never know the good stuff. You only know weird stuff. Like he always wore the same clothes. Who cares? I was to know. She was like. I think she was a bit of a woman on heat, is what I seem to remember. Like she really like, she liked to test the bed springs. She would have been down within the snow. Yes, I went out with Madonna, and actually she wasn't that up for it. No, but she wasn't just, she was up for it. She was good at being up for it. She was extremely good at it. And her sexual arts. Well, you kind of expect that. Well, you would. But to be fair, when you sit down and think about it, you're almost letting yourself in for a disappointment. Because you think, well, if anyone's going to be good at the sexual arts, it's going to be Madonna. Yeah. So she's got a massive reputation to live up to. And she lived up to it. So that shows you how good she was. Right. Anyway, right. What's this show all about? Forgotten. Celebrity deaths. Being up for it. Did you hear talking about celebrity deaths? About, there was an article in doing the French media about all the celebrity deaths this year. Have you heard about it? No. Oh, you're so good. And they have statistically, mathematically proven, that the ron't. It's the rock death. Oh, really? No, that the ron. But... Yes, no. We haven't had the whole year. But, but, but. We'd have lost most of the Oscar committee by the end of 2016. Well, we'd hope so. Then after that, folks might get a look in. Just have Chris Rock and Will Smith and... Yeah. Any drizzle. Yeah. But the, what was said is that rock and roll, the kind of the birth of kind of new celebrity through music and through TV as opposed to cinema and writing books, etc, is 50, 60 years old. And if those people were in their 20s, round about the time of the 60s, etc, it's, you know, they're just naturally passing. So, hence, they feel like an acceleration. But they did a whole load of maths and all sorts, and just proven that, no, it's just a normal year. That's all right, then. If it is a whole load of maths, I'm reassured. Yep, yep, yep, yep. So, don't worry, Lucy. OK. I'll stop there, then. There's going to be no more celebs dying before the end of the... or peers more, but it can go. No. He's not celeb. Well, you know, is it, is in the limelight? Is it, you know what? On this week's show, we have calls from... "With a spoon, who's sad?" Yes, he says some stuff. "Misa likes who's staggered at Pat and Tony New York, Nigel, who wants to know what the surrealist tribute was. Julie, who has a jest theory. Steven Birkins, who doesn't know what's going on with a little Henry Sound effect. God is Steve, who sounds a bit annoyed with Tony and JoJo, sexy heels, who's heard the cool music work first. Before all of that. Ooh, it's about time we've got to Lucy. We, FEMA's week in Ambridge. Robert tried to take Lindy Bottom up the Shepherd's Hut and the bed collapsed. As a result, Linda won't cough up Eddie's money for what he's basically a wheelie bin with a chimney. Of course, Eddie needs the money even more now, as he's having to fork out for the brisket, tin, brinks-macked gold bullion robbery. No one's twigged it's georgie. Yet, even though he's swanning around wearing a Rolex and flying to school in a helicopter, there was a lot of bed bouncing this week. Lillian and Justin boilinging around in Underwood's bed department. Lindy Bottom and Eddie clambering around in the wheelie bin. Everyone was having a jolly time in the bed department, apart from Pitt, who seems to have sublimated her sexual impulses into painting Josh as some sort of corrupt mafia boss. Ian is as shocked as Adam is about Helen, apparently. Well, that's good. He is silently and absolutely shocked. Adam seems to be more concerned about the cricket team, which, due to stabbings, firings, and various normal acts of village life, is now reduced to burnt-fry, kira, and scruff. Jazza is still squidging on the sofa between Fallon and Harrison Burns. If he hangs around any longer, Fallon will up cycle him. He'll be stripped varnished and festooned in bunting. He'll probably quite like that. Jim was worried, as he still has a lot to do at Green Knackers, he said. Jazza was getting a bit SNP about the Queen's birthday in the FA Cup and St. George's Day and everything else, but subsided like a deflated bagpipe when Jim was apparently told, and there was no room for him at Green Knackers. The end of the odd couple, a nation mourns. Anna Tiboggan, who continues to sound like someone doing the voiceover of a nature documentary, it's 4 a.m. and the badges are on the move, was trying to get Helen to talk and Pat to shut up. Ursula had a brave stab, haha, at trying to finish Robert off by making him read Wilbur Smith, but sadly he even survived that. Pat seemed astonished that Ursula and Rob were, you know, a bit miffed. Coop, proper touchy, some people, aren't they? Neil is furious, hopping mad he is. He went, coop. JR Archer has been trying to flog the fair buttocks eggs to Wayne, King of the Tucson's. Even Ruth, along with most of the mothers in Ambridge, seems very keen to believe the worst of her offspring and keeps having words with Josh about how he must be a slightly incompetent and indecisive businessman to keep the family trait going. Pip was helping wrecks in her role as unpaid interned to fair buttock enterprises by removing chicken's eggs from the cut-redraw of the caravan before they wheeled the egg mobile back into the field and the chickens all decided that they didn't like it and preferred sleeping in bunk beds, watching TV and enjoying the en suite power shower. Pip is still trotting around the village, asking if she could borrow people's cows and everyone said, "No, you may not borrow my cows because the last time you did, you took ages to bring them back and when you did one of them was dented and their batteries were flat." Kent and the fun fascist has dusted off his megaphone and decided to liven up St George's day by hiring a dragon. Peggy's available? The whole thing then degenerated into the sort of event in which the bull specialises, Kent and a Jolene devising some sort of celebration which enables them to showcase their juvenile relationship and have a massive domestic in front of an entire pub. A scene with Kent and a Jolene is like going on a double date with a couple who've just started going out together and they keep doing that mock-row thing. All right, don't get moody. Oh, I know my place, don't I? Oh, I don't know why I put up with you and lots of fake hitting until you lose your temper and feign food poisoning so you can go home early. Actually, with Wayne Tucson at the helm, he probably wouldn't even have to fake the food poisoning, particularly if you were gluten intolerant. The end. Oh, that was good this week. Thank you. I enjoyed that this week. Now, I'm getting Deja Vu all over again. vis-a-vis Josh and Neil. It wasn't that just like Tom and Neil about 12 years ago. Yeah, with the pigs. Yeah. That's why, see, they can't be asked so they're just recycling old storylines and they think that we won't notice. I noticed. Yes. And he just, just Josh, just sounds like old Tom before it became new Tom. Yes, yes. After the death of John. Yep. That phase of Tom. Yeah. You know, budding entrepreneur, upsetting everybody in the village. All these people working with. Talking about profit endlessly. Yeah. It's not all about profit, Josh. And being a little bit shifty. Yeah. You know, all sharp, dependent. In page telling everyone they're old fashioned. Inpatient. Yeah. I mean, it's just like, it's just like Pip as well. It's like they found this, they found this universal storyline, which was the new generation. You know, the younger generation disputing the methods of the older generation. They just do it with wearying regularity every two years. They did it with Tom. They did it with Pip. Now they're doing it with Josh. Yes. Anyway. Shall we go to the phone lines? Or would you like to talk about Prince? You can talk about Prince, if you like. I've got an awful lot to say about Prince, to be honest with you. I thought he looked really cool on his rocking horse. We have a bomber though. Well. Wasn't that really sweet? It was. And he had monogrammed pyjamas. How are you going to grow up a normal child when you're wearing monogrammed pyjamas? Well, if you can grab him. If your great granny is on all the money, you're not going to grow up normal, are you? Yeah, that's true. Regardless of what initials are on your PJs. Yeah. Though for somebody who doesn't think an awful lot about the monarchy, I actually quite like that picture where he was on that. It wasn't unlike four books stood up, was he? He was on something. I thought that's actually quite sweet. Yes, rubber, what do they say? Rubber maps or something? Yeah, I thought that was actually quite sweet. They, you know, the royal family, they know how to just melt people just didn't get people at that sweet spot. Don't they? You know, you don't think about it. I don't anyway. You know, leading me life. And then you see that little pitch and you go, that's actually quite sweet. And you go, no, no, we should be a meritocracy. I should be able to be the head of state if it wanted to be. Don't think a small child is sweet without having to give him most of your taxes. To be fair, we don't give most of our taxes to the royal. It's, it's quite a small percentage. It's a symbol of what their percentage winds up a whole lot. I think everyone should have to donate through Patreon for a while. I think it might end up getting more money than to get to the taxes. Because I think there's a, there's a lot of people. You call it Patreon. I, I don't mind, but I've said this before. But anyway, this is, you know what we do in Lucy? Are we diverting wildly from the point in hand? Now, and at this point, the floor is yours for him. Oh, for my rant. Well, you said you had something to say. So I'm, I'm, I'm bowing and I'm graciously walking backwards. I have, watch out, look behind you. I have exchanged various text messages with you over the weekend. Have I not? Uh, one or two. One or two. About the fact that. Now, I'm feeling very, very. Closing in on the premise, you're as excited as me. Yes, I am. Do you remember that episode of Frasier? Where, where Martyn's trying to get Niles interested in sport. And Niles said, yes, sometimes I cannot sleep for fear of, of, no, for excitement about which team has hit the ball through the other team's thingy. Anyway, um, I was feeling very, very, very, very, very cross over the weekend. And, okay, let's start from the beginning. But actually, since I've heard a lot of your calls this morning from the call of Inner is, you have soothed my savage breast because I, so many of you are on the same sort of, on the same page, as they say, as me, that I have, I'm feeling less like a grumpy old cow now. Because it's horrible when you think you're the only one that thinks something and you think, what's wrong with me? And then lots of other people go, no, I do too. And you think Carat. Um, basically, as you know, as I have bored on at great length before, I have been listening to the arches for several million years. And I, it's like when you come back from holiday, you're a little bit looking forward to whatever the post has brought, and it's always terrible and nothing. And you kind of quite looking forward to listen to the arches because you've missed it. And you want to know, you know, how are these people doing that I care about? I am now officially and properly and honestly at the stage where I don't care. And I have never been at this stage before. I have had two nightmares about Robin Helen, um, so far. I am finding it unbearable. I listen to, I don't do soaps and I don't do kind of in general. And I don't do, um, sorry, I know, sorry. Uh, docodramas. And I don't do sort of shock prurions. And that is what I feel we are getting unrelentingly now. There was a rumor going around that they were altering the storyline depending on social media. And that looking at the reaction, they were tweaking the storylines to sort of fit in with what people wanted or what they felt the general audience reaction was. I don't know whether that's true or not. I don't think it is, but it just feels as if we are being manipulated and storylines are being put through mangles. We are being put through mangles. It's not even making logical sense about why would Pat and Tony happily take. I know they have some residual guilt about Helen, um, but why they'd be allowed to take Henry in to see Rob when it robs the, you know, they don't know what the police don't know what's going on with Rob, Henry's a key witness, um, apparently he's just allowed to trot around everywhere, um, and stay with the mothers of the mother of the, the parents of the defendant. And it's just the fact I know, I appreciate, I am desperately sorry for anybody that has been through this in real life. I am desperately sorry for anybody that has been stabbed in real life. I'm desperately sorry for any child whose parent has been involved. A little, a little, a little, but I can't go on feeling sorry for everybody all the time. And wishing, and, and, and, and, and keeping, have a dream mind myself, oh, isn't it well acted, oh, isn't it well written, oh, isn't it well acted, but I don't care anymore. I want it to stop. And I wanted to stop in a nice fairy tale, soapy way in which Rob is run over by a, don't care what and goes to prison for a long time and Helen comes back and everyone's happy and they all have happily arrived. That is what I want. I want to get back to caring about other people. I haven't got any energy left to care about this storyline because it has gone on for too long. And now it's going to keep carrying on because there's going to be all this nonsense about who's got care of Henry and where the new baby goes and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we've got months and months of, as Misalient said in a call of being gaslighted by this entire family, um, listening to the village, getting all, get the wrong end of the stick everywhere, listening to Pat and Tony betraying their daughter every time they open their mouths. Mr O'Connor has said he's going to come back to the arches. Um, there is no let up in on the horizon. There is that I just cannot see one coming. And for the first time, we're not recording next week because, uh, you're getting, right, uh, Roy Phillips getting settled in them in wherever the hell it is he's going. And we, uh, that's the first time and I do not intend listening. I didn't hear last night. Um, I picked up from Twitter that yet another ludicrous twist had occurred. I am not going to listen to the next fortnight and that will be until I come to do the next I'm to be done. But that will be the first time I have ever willingly missed a fortnight. And I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. To not having to brace myself before I turn the radio on. And that's, you know, that doesn't make me feel very happy. And I'm sure I'm on my, I'm not, I don't think I'm on my own in this, but I know that I'm not, I'm not saying that I'm representing anybody else. I'm just talking about me, but I am shocked at how much this storyline has got to me and how much it's actually put me off the entire program. Something that I never thought would happen. That's it. If you're still there, if you got to do tax return or something. That was in an 18 year that long. Well, I hear you, right? And I know we shouldn't really talk about Sunday's episode, but I to say I was stunned when I heard Sunday's episode. That's the time we've said we've been stunned. If this is realistic, we shouldn't be stunned. You're stunned maybe, you know, four times in your entire life. We've been stunned now three times in a month. And when I grow up, I want to be New York Nigel, because he articulates everything so well. You know, I don't know why I do these podcasts. Right, you should just just get him on for me. Lucy, because he's brilliant. And I've said it ad nauseam, but it's just balance. And it doesn't matter about the amount of, I was going to say, screen time, airtime, airtime, that the inhabitants of Blossom Hill Cottage get. It's the emotional weight. And it is the various tricks that are dramatic tricks, tropes, that are employed to keep us supposedly entertained. And it's just too much. That's what it is. It's just too much. And if this was an afternoon play, and we knew it was all going to be over in 45 minutes, you can sit there chewing your fingernails, and, you know, and put up with all that. But when it stretched out and eked out over, you know, they've said this is going to go on for months, at least, if not years, and the ramifications of it will go on for years. It's too much for me. It is just too much for me. There are other characters in this village. And we need, you know, and they need some airtime. They really do. And they can do all of them. And it's so patronising to think, oh dear, look, people, people, I think people are getting a bit upset about Robin L. Oh, let's just give him, let's just give him a shepherd's hut. And Eddie and Linda doing a bit of bouncing around shepherd's hut, that'll break the bed, you know, that'll do it. They'll be fine then, they'll be fine. Piss off. To be fair, right, it was a trestle table. I don't care what it was. And it was Robert and Linda actually broke it. It really-- You know, where's Kate? Where's, you know, the people that you can have, and you can be hugely irritated by Kate. Why don't we go to bed? And I am all the time. It's a great character. She's absolutely a great character. But I don't have to carry her round with me in my head for the rest of the week. That's what I'm fed up with. I want my head back. They haven't got the right to do this. And there needs to be some plausible explanation as to where Kathy is, considering she is Pat's best friend. Look at what Pat is going through. Yes, absolutely. Even if it was a case of I've just come off the phone to her. Even if she just said that, I've just come off or Kathy's going to pop round later. Then you go, OK, you don't need me to hear her. I'm spontaneously combusted like Chris and Alice and everybody else. Any way. Just really see. And they're lurching after headlines. And it's, you know. Lucy. Well, you need to have some chamomile tea or something. Have a sit down. That's not really true. I have to express those. No, that's the wrong thing. That's the wrong thing. And just whilst you have a little sit down, right, and why don't we go to the phone lines? [bell rings] Hello, Ambridge 3962. Who's first Lucy? Uh, Miss Alliance, who says a lot of the same things as me. So I don't need to go through all that again. You'll be pleased to hear. Good evening. This is Miss Alliance, speaking from suburbia. I'm speaking from my marvellous kitchen. And I have a venison casserole in the oven. I just wanted to phone in and say how unbelievable it was to me, that Pat and Tony obeyed Rob Titchylob's command, and a command it was. It wasn't a request to take little Henry into the hospital without even thinking of asking for legal advice. Goodness knows we've got, they've got a fantastic domestic violence related barrister on tap as well as Bush's own legal colleague. I just don't understand it. And I'm finding this really unbearable now. The actual emotional abuse was bad enough. But to think we've got many, many months, possibly years of being gas-lighted collectively by that family and having to sit through the preamble and the legal things that don't make sense and people's behaviour and Pat, oh well don't get me started on Pat for good mistake. I think that Pat and Tony decided that they weren't going to take little legal advice because actually deep down they still believe the Titchylob's. And I think they're going to make terrible witnesses in their own, for their own daughter's character. It's grim, isn't it? Yes, ridiculous that Pat. Do we, yes Rob, of course, will bring Henry into hospital when she's already said that Rob was cruel, that Rob, you know, she had, Pat has said that she has suspicions about Rob and now, you know, she's quite happily taken him into hospital to see, to taking Henry in, you know, a vulnerable child. It's just ludicrous. Also, Mr. Lads, I think you may have chipmunks in your Albion. There's a very, very strange noise going on in the background. I'm not sure what it is. Sounds quite interesting. You'll have to ring in again and tell us what it is. Also, you know, when Anna Toboggan talks to Helen, it's almost like she's counselling her. You know, she's so, I know that they have to be kind of very cautious about what they say to her. But isn't there a psychotherapist that should be talking to Helen, or some sort of mental health support, rather than leaving, because it's like the barrister is trying to coax Helen into a better mental state, and that's not really a barrister's job, is it? I wouldn't have thought it was their primary job, but if she is an expert, women who've been suffering from domestic abuse, I think it's probably part and parcel of her approach really, that she knows these women have been traumatised, and do need a certain amount of counselling. So that to me actually kind of makes sense, because you have to tread so carefully. I think that bit of the whole thing rins very true to me. But you know, if I wanted CSI Borsetcher, you know, I'd be listening to CSI Borsetcher, I want the archers, and I don't want all this kind of cops, and stabbies, and solicitors, and barristers stuff, it just doesn't feel to me very ambushed. However, yeah, she seems like a very competent barrister, and I'm sure she'll get her, or Helen off to a degree, you know, when the time comes, but anyway, whatever. Hello, Roy Field, Lucy Millabelle, and our sister and brother, Dumpty Dumbers, all round globe. It's New York Nigel here, and how wonderful to hear Terry. I can't tell you how much I miss him, and Vicki's cheery tones, and so far, what a missed opportunity with Bethany, just a couple of things this week. What was with that weird archers party? It was like a vignette from Lashambi's "La Bors-la-z" sort of surrealist tribute to a 49-year-old, a 90-year-old, and a 400-year-old, and all we got from it was a bit of after dinner chat. And a quick note on the story that ate Andbridge. I'm tired of reading that the long-time listeners are shocked that the real world has invaded the arch as well. You know, they couldn't be more wrong. We're used to rapes, and dogfights, and burglaries, hold-ups, fatal traffic and farming accidents, arson, alcoholism, Alzheimer's disease, suicide, depression, extramental affairs, interfaith marriage, prison sentences, gambling and drug addiction. I don't know what real world they're living in. I knew you can't hold a candle to all of that. More happens in a week in Andbridge than in a whole season of the dreary downturn Abbey. It's just a pity that some of these threads haven't been explored as thoroughly as the Helen story. We don't care we listen to a soap. We're well able to make fun of ourselves as this wonderful podcast proves. But there's a difference between a soap opera and a soap box. I'm all for opening our eyes, the horrific hidden crime of domestic abuse and the consequences for women in the judicial system. I'm proud that this program has taken it on. I'm grateful that it has brought something out of the shadows into the national stage. And I'm really moved by our engagement with the story, like Goddess Divas. But the program itself has suffered from the over toppling weight that the producers have made this story bear. Not only have the people we thought we knew so well under gone character transplants, we wouldn't bat an eyelid now if the plot line required Susan to become the soul of discretion or if Pat had turned out into a simpering indecisive victim or if some of the sharpest minds and most gossipy characters in the village suffered from the collective Rob amnesia. The stories also had introduced us to a plethora of new characters. It's swamped a thousand other half-baked plot lines and it's made a nonsense of the friendships and relationships we know exist. Pat and Kathy, Ian and Helen, Tom and Roy. What happened with that budding friendship between Helen and Emma? And where are Chris and Alice? Some of the producers and scriptwriters have said, "Look, here's an issue. Stop complaining. Forget everything else that's been happening for the last two years. If you complain, you're a stodgy old traditionalist who can't bear the modern world intruding into ambridge." Well, stuff to that. Surely the producers and writers can do more than one thing at once. For the last couple of years, they've made half-baked lemon drizzle mess of a whole bunch of stories, root B, Adam and Ian, Barrow Farm, Kenton's Breakdown, Hazel Woolley, Vicki and Bethany, Matt and Lillian. Well, anyway, of course, I'm still excited to see how they organize the way out of the mess. I want them to, with a bit of integrity, to bake more than one cake at a time. I'm sorry to rant. I love the bed bouncing of Linda and Eddie and Justin and Lillian and I'm looking forward to meeting some of you in about a week's time in the meantime. New York Nigel, thank you for saying what I was groping around, trying to say earlier. But yes, not to go through all that stuff again. Yeah, the party. That was the single most joyless party ever. And the 49th birthday. Oh, yes, that well-known celebration. The news edge is a full of cards. So congratulations on your 49th. What? But they do have to do these parties and things because they need to claw in current events. So they needed to talk about the Queen's birthday and Elizabeth Archer and the Queen and the love. And it was like when, I don't know if anyone was listening. Oh, I'm sure you are. I don't know if you, New York Nigel, were listening when Diana died and 9/11 and it was all, but Diana died, was very funny. And so perhaps going, how have we finished with those, your goods? Wasn't it a shame about the Princess of Wales? Anyway, you could tell that they'd sort of clawed it in afterwards. So yeah, we just have to go through this nonsense because they need to, you know, to the BBC and they need to comment on stuff that is of national importance. Glauley, yes. But it isn't just that, but also it's just a contrivance to have characters interacting. Where were Elizabeth's children, by the way? Well, Freddy was probably burning something down was he didn't he go a bit delinquent about 18 months ago, which has all been forgotten about because we do all characters in equal amount of detail on the arches, don't we? Of course. So we all know exactly what's happening. Exactly. With Alice, the nuclear physicist wedding planner. Nothing's going on there. Well, she's got no weddings to plan. I said anywhere Alice is, she's in North Korea, with King John Wong, the web lead, you know, working on these nuclear reactors. Yeah. There you go. That's why we're not clear enough throughout blowing our nose, but she's not sure. Who's the next caller, Lucy? Do you know this is cheering me up? No end. Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling, toss salads and scrambled eggs. Massive. Greetings, Lucy, Royfield, Millie Bell, and all dumb tea dumbers around the world. It's with a spoon and Angus Haggis here. First, a tip of the hat to Lucy. After one week of acute withdrawal from the storyline, we all both love and loathe with the return of Voldemort. I mean, Rob, even more vile than ever. I now agree with Lucy, and I'm happy to hear about all things green and pleasant and average. So just a couple of brief notes regarding those goings on. I like to how Linda stood firm with Eddie on the construction of the Shepherd's Hut. I know she can be condescending at times, but she's paying for his services, so she should get what she wants and not let Eddie get away with doing shoddy work. I wish more people were this assertive and average. Well, I guess one such assertive person is Josh. Although we didn't hear directly from him this week, the script writers are certainly setting him up to be the Simon Lagree of the Village for the next 50 years. Now back to all things unpleasant. First, a rant about Shula. How dare she refer to Helen's case as hopeless when she knows she lied to the police about Rob. Not only do I hope she comes clean, but I hope she's thoroughly embarrassed and maybe even punished when she does so. I'm sure others will be talking about the slimy, lying, lower than a rat dragging a slice of pizza in a subway station, Rob, so I won't belabor the obvious. Just to say that I'm not surprised he dragged Kirsty's name into the mud. There's no defense like a good offense. I just hope that Helen gets the help she needs, and that Anna picks up the pace in her sleuthing. It makes no sense to me that she can't talk to Kirsty. Again, the difference between the American and British versions of Law and Order. And why hasn't Jess step forward to help out? To quote a word from "love actually" enough. Well, at least until next time. Millie Bell has asked me to share how I became a regular contributor to our family of Dumty Dumbers. Gee, I don't know how it all happened. Sometime in early 2015, I saw a reference to Dumty Dum on another Facebook site, and as an inveterate podcast listener, I decided to check it out. Of course, I instantly fell in love with all of you, and after a couple of episodes, I thought, gee, I have a few things to say about the residents of Ambridge, and the rest is history. And some husband thinks we're all a bit cuckoo, but I'd be out of a job if people were an off-kilter. Looking forward to co-hosting our New York City gathering on Monday. Please let Roy Field or me know if you can make it. Now Angus, Scottish husband, and I have to get ready for a Passover Sader. Angus says he's not looking forward to the matzah. And we'll post pictures next week. Talk soon. Julie from Pickering. Hi Roy Field and Lucy. Julie from Pickering here. Last week on Dumty Dum, there were a few people kind of musing about why Jess didn't become pregnant when she was with Rob. Now I've been mulling this over really since, oh gosh, since just after we learned that Helen was pregnant. And this is my theory on it all. I may be way way out of the ballpark here that Jess didn't become pregnant because she was taking a pretty reliable form of birth control. And Helen was adamant that she didn't want to become pregnant. And yes, it seems that after that night that the first night where Rob appeared to get a drunk and rape her, she becomes pregnant. So we assume that that was the night that the baby was conceived. Now if you are wanting to not have a baby, if you're not wanting to have a baby, you take some pretty reliable method of birth control. And my theory is that Helen wasn't that she was using perhaps a barrier method rather than a hormonal method of birth control. And I think that Rob got Helen drunk, sort of forced himself upon her, not with the intention of raping her per se, because as we know, Rob didn't need to get Helen drunk to force himself on her recently. But I reckon it was all about the birth control. And he got her drunk so that she couldn't then use her barrier method. So looking forward to this next podcast and still hanging onto every episode, doodles. Julie from Pickering, I could not agree with you more. There was a long time ago when Rob was talking to Helen, Helen said to Rob, "How come you never had children with Jess?" And he said, "Oh, because Jess was ridiculous and thought somehow I was going to turn her into some sort of submissive housewife mother trapped at home." Which obviously now has huge prescience because of what has it. How did I miss that? I don't know. I only heard it because I listened to the arch's collective. It said, "Robyn Helen, how did we get here?" And it was a collection of the whole key points of the whole Robyn Helen relationship. Wow, so Jess refused to get pregnant. And yes, Julie, I agree. It was because she was taking some form of very comprehensive birth control. I think that Helen wouldn't take the pill because she would say it was too chemically and it would unbalance her hormones and all that sort of stuff because she is very natural and she likes all that sort of thing. So I would imagine exactly that she's using some sort of barrier method. And that was the reason why the rape was absolutely about. It was about control, obviously because Ray Belz is, but it's also about there I go again with my femin artsy statements. Nelly little me! But also because, you know, she would want to be natural and so Rob's thing, the rape was about control and it was about categorically about getting her pregnant because she'd said, "No, I don't want to yet." So he had to then force her to do it. Here, here, Julie from Pickering, Stephen Perkins. Oh, yes. Hello, Dr. Dumb. It's Stephen Perkins here again. I'm just calling in because I am quite confused about what's going on with Henry at the moment, particularly after listening to this week's episodes. Obviously, I know that Helen is not allowed any contact with him because he's a key witness in her trial and that much makes sense. I understand that. I don't really understand why Rob is allowed to see him and why presumably, after this week's visit with Pat and Tony, that Henry would be allowed back unsupervised with him, particularly because surely, as a key witness in the case, he shouldn't be allowed to speak to anybody else who's involved with it. And to that matter, I don't really understand why they are assuming that Pat and Tony aren't coaching him every minute they get as well to say things that are going to exonerate Helen. Obviously, I realize that he's only five and he has got to live somewhere, but it does seem very confusing to me that all these people who could potentially contaminate him as a witness have got basically free range to go and potentially ask him all manner of things that could alter his testimony. So, yeah, I really am just interested to see if anybody out there knows the legality of all this and what actually would happen in the real world, assuming, of course, that the artist is not the real world, which we all know it is. Thank you very much. Yes, as we've said before, complete nonsense about Henry. He's living with the parents of the woman that tried to murder the husband, he's got access to the husband, he's apparently no social care, no mental health care, he's just being left. But you know, Stephen, when you said that Pat and Tony might be trying to coach him, but Pat and Tony wouldn't be probably coaching him to entirely incriminate Helen, because that's all they seem to be doing. He just opened their mouth and said, "Oh, yes, she was completely nuts." And yes, quite frankly, where it may, she didn't kill him earlier, to be honest. So yeah, whole thing, ludicrous, don't care, blah, blah, blah. Are we really giving these calls due to deliberation? But the calls this week- When you end by saying blah, blah, blah, right, I worry about our- Yeah, I didn't mean blah, blah, blah, Stephen Perkins, I meant blah, blah, blah, we've said all this before, it is nuts. And also, the calls to speak are so sharp and so good that we are superfluous, I believe. All right, fair news. Particularly Goddess Divas call, which is concise and obscene in equal measure. That's going to upset a couple of listeners, you know, because on the twitters- It's not obscene, not obscene. Oh, okay. Swearing. No, but that's it, that's it. There's a small but vocal vociferous minority of a dumb, dumb listeners that think that there is too much innuendo, and there's my grandmother who used to say Percy Filth on this show. Percy Filth! Yeah, Percy Filth! Right! Like Percy Filth! I don't know. My god, my grandpa's passed, I can't, I can't ask him. No, no, no, no, no, no, she used to call it Percy Filth. We don't have any of that, but said with a Jamaican accent. He's brilliant! Percy Filth should have a regular spot on this show, I think. No, he has one on this show, the one Percy Filth, oh, yeah, I think Percy Filth is a bit like Percy Thrower, and he's like sat in like a big, comfy, like, city, and in the corner of this show at coming out with his filth, and then they saying the one he'm off, the one he'm out. Right. If you cleaned up your potty mouth, Lucy, we'd have more listeners. My goodness, if we took out the innuendo in the swearing, you want me anything left with that? There'd be you going blah, blah, blah. Yeah! For commentary on listeners' calls. God bless, David, we wouldn't have that. Yeah, I'd choose this week. Stuff happened, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Mmm. Hey, go on to Dom, goddess, David, here. Not going very much so this week, apart from the thank everybody for the mass outpouring of love after my last call. Things are getting better, things are getting much, much better, and the goddess is hanging in there, even though she's now wearing perfume, I'm going to get another tattoo because of the death of Prince, but hey. So, archer stuff, all I'm going to say is Tony needs to f*** away off now. That's it. That's it, Tony. Just f*** off. He f***ing ricks. That's it. Alright, lovely. Got a steeper. Bye. So, is that goddess, David, done with then? Yeah, pretty much. I think it's self-explanatory. Right, he's next. Jojo, sexy heels. Oh, alright. Hi there, dumb two dominoes. It's Jojo, sexy heels here. This is my third attempt to try and get this message across. So, congratulations to the script writers and the actors for that very believable portrayal of an abusive relationship. I know I predicted that it would be Helen that attacked Titchinob in episode 102, I think. But I did get it a bit wrong because I said I thought she would do it sleepwalking. Anyway, I found him because I especially wanted to praise the choice of background music for that particular episode. Two particular tracks, the choice of lying eyes by the eagles with the lyrics. She wonders how it ever got this crazy. And you sure know how to arrange things. You set it up so well, so carefully. In retrospect, very ominous and predicting what was to come. But then we had the choice of Amy Winehouse singing, "You know I'm no good." It was chilling when you actually listened to those lyrics. "I cried for you on the kitchen floor." Yeah, that was true, wasn't it? And then my stomach drops and my guts churn. You shrug and it's the worst. Who truly stuck the knife in first. I told you I was trouble. You know that I'm no good. I absolutely was stunned when I was hearing the background music, knowing the lyrics myself. And I'll never be able to hear those tracks again without actually recalling those words in this episode. Yeah, extra episode that we had that week with all the professionals views and clarifications was fascinating. And it just goes to show why as dumb to dumbers should be giving our professions when we first call in because it's this sort of contribution that enriches enjoyment, if that's the right word to an episode like that. So, "Well done, Royfield." So, gathering the assembled masses for that. And then finally, this week, again, we had the background music, "Aint no sunshine when she's gone." With the additional words, "And she's always gone too long every time she goes away." Well, if that's not a plot prediction, what is? Yes, I think there is, whoever is in charge of the music clearly knows their stuff and clearly listens to lyrics. Because there's been some amazing choices, I agree. I was kind of vaguely aware of it. I wasn't as aware of the lyrics as now you've pointed them out. But yes, enormous amounts of thought have gone into that. Not a lot else, but that. Go on, then. You've got the email now. Ooh, this says that, of course. We have a financial statement, which it did. Well, Cosmo received it. It was supposed to go to the chief financial officer of Demara and they sent it to Cosmo. You did see the chief account or something. No idea. He's happy, though, I think. In our annual audit, we've become deeply concerned about one recent investment, Borchester Land Limited, and would comment as follows, Demara bought a majority shareholding in Borchester Land, which owns the Berifar Estate in Ambridge. You reported last year that the Ambridge area would enjoy massive infrastructure development and the estate would benefit from these developments, which we now gather will not happen, leaving with a large tract of farmland with no development potential. Very true. At acquisition, the chair of BL, a farming expert who had started a major dairy project on the estate, was forced to resign and replaced by a lawyer with no farming experience. The dairy manager then pulled the wall over the IZ estate manager, whom you have been forced to redeploy on a minor estate in Scotland. Irregularities and losses were unacceptable until the chairman just earlier decided personally to get the operation back on track. What were the rest of the management doing? The closing of the dairy and the grain growth business led to huge write-offs in terms of capital in the partial subsidiary undermining the value of shares owned by the minority shareholders who were not consulted. Reapointing the former chairman is a first-sense decision-made. Hurrah for Brian! Additionally, that was me. Additionally, we have become aware that Demara has issued a credit card to a non-employee, and the expenses being occurred are questionable as they are not business expenses, but seem to relate to clothing boutiques in Borchester and Belgium. You must be aware that this is outside the company's remit to pay for clothing for any staff, other than protective clothing in the course of executing duties, and that it is illegal to provide a credit card for purchases outside the normal course of business. Demara would fail the well-known daily mail test. This credit card appears to be used by one Mrs. L Bellamy, who owns AMSIDE, which is in partnership with BL in the development of the Felbershop cattle market. Cosmo, your memory, is astonishing. Given that this is a linked individual to the group, who must ensure full HMRC reporting for employment tax purposes, and we would urge that the card be withdrawn at an early date. I suggest that Justin should be withdrawn at an early date. How long is it going to be before Lillian moves in with Justin Bing, bearing in mind, she has basically done his house up. She's done her house up, and he's paid for it in her style. And now he's living there by himself. It's ridiculous. So why does she just move in? She clearly wants to. He clearly wants to, too. I'm not sure what he's paying her for. It's sort of like being a prostitute with contacts. She's a prostitute with an address book, which most of them have to be honest, but the address book is usually a bit of an issue and something that people want to get shot of, not encouraged. But yeah. Well, they haven't done the deal yet. Yeah, she can't really call her a prostitute. That'd be grossly unfair. No, they did a lot of bouncing on the bed, they didn't they? Oh, Justin, I haven't done so much fun for ages. God. Right. Next one, Libby from up north. I love the archers. I am 13, and all my friends think I am sad. Libby, don't listen to them. They are idiots. I have been listening to the archers for about three years. I would like to add that the Helen story is an amazing plot line to follow, to educate people about domestic abuse and cohesive control. Cohesive control. I was disappointed about the way it played out. Well, we all. I would like to have seen her breakaway and grow strong again. That would have been even better for the cause. See, out of the mouths of babes and saplings. Thanks for your amazing show, Libby. What is it? Well, Libby, what we love you. Keep listening to your parade. Everyone to do your sad ever. Is it 12 or 14? I don't know. Well, she's a dummy diddler. 14. Well done, Libby. Cheers. Yeah, yeah, you're on your-- She's a senior dumber diddler. And your senior year have been a dummy diddler. Well done. And seriously, don't let anyone tell you you're sad for doing something that you like. Ever. Scarlet Sparrow. Hi, you two. I like this one. I returned from the Philippines on Sunday after two weeks scuba diving. The last thing I heard was the Thomas goes down the waist disposal horror and suspected I would miss the venue more. Well, bubbling 30 metres down in the South China sheet. See, on downloading my poor husband. Actually, she's put no comma. So it says on downloading my poor husband. I had no idea you could download a husband who had my attention for 24 hours a day for two weeks. It was used to the company of a woman with earphones, sobbing, gasping, and cheering for an extended period and muttered darkly when he suggested I take a break to make lunch. I made tuna bake. A few things struck me. One, I love Kirsty and wanted to be my friend. I will no longer call her a crusty. Two, tuna bake. I knew there would be trouble as what good, obedient, traditional housewife cooks tuna bake on a Sunday. Surely he would expect a roast with all the trimmings and a pie made by Emma and Fallon with an insult to injury. Three, Miles has not yet made an appearance. Surely a loving brother would have rushed to the hospital. I predict that he will turn up as a star defence witness with a face-horrory scarred after a quote accident. Involving Ticino. Will also disclose that Rob tortured small animals in his youth. Four, Ian. He can go to the prison. What kind of friend is he? I liked Ian, but the only comment so far is that he is shocked. Do something she needs someone she can talk to. I agree with Royfield, but I did suspect they would disappointingly make this her route out. Simple and sensational. Love to all, particularly goddess diva, sending virtual hug. P.S. microphone. This is a fantastic, fantastic. That's it. That's it, don't you? Hey guys, have you heard of Goldbelly? It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic famous foods from restaurants across the country anywhere nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. They ship Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, main lobster rolls, and even Ina Garten's famous cakes. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your life, head to Goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code gift. Ryan Reynolds here for I guess my 100th mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Honestly, when I started this, I thought I only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15. And what power there's still people paying two or three times that much. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch, whatever you're ready. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. 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They've got no tracksuits but they do do t-shirts which are very flattering. Nice if you want to show off your figure a little bit. Nick couldn't carry one off of course but I can. So Royfield has asked me to find out from everyone here tonight where and when do you listen to Dumpty Dum? Hi, I'm Annie and I listen to Dumpty Dum on my MP3 walking from work into the West End and I love listening to it. It makes me look forward to my walk. Hi, I'm Peter and it's Hypno Peter on the Twitters and I listen to Dumpty Dum on my way into work every morning and it brings a smile to my face. Greetings again all Dumpty Dimmers. It's Witherspoon here in the greatest city west of the Atlantic to tell you that it's part of the Queen's birthday celebration and I don't mean the second most populous borough of New York. We're going to be receiving a visit from Dumpty Dum Royalty. Royfield Brown himself is going to be stopping in Gotham. We will have a grand old Dumpty Dum time on Monday, May 2nd gathering at 7 p.m. at the Norwood Club which coincidentally is owned by Handsome Hubby. So Americans, Canadians and everyday country folk of any other nation please join us. The address is 241 West 14th Street and yes Angus Haggis will be making a special appearance. G'day everyone. We've had another really good week on both the Facebook page and on the forum because of course the address is making it easy for us. At the moment there's so many things to discuss with Eddy building for Linda and what's happening with Helen and Rob. Just before I do the roundup just to let you know that I did put a call out for what question you would like asked of our wonderful podcasters and Vicki Cole asked the correct question or the question that we chose for this week which was please can you tell us how Royfield and Lucy had the idea and got the podcast started in the first place. I'm so glad that you did we're all glad they did and a couple of people supported that so that's going to be the question that will be answered later on and my my journey with Dumte-Dum is a bit prosaking that Dumte-Dum had started and I can I don't really know why but Royfield contacted me and just said would I like to be involved and to do a rather than Facebook possibly he noticed that I spent far too much time on Facebook now I think about it and I thought well I'll give it a go I'll probably do it for a month or so and if I don't like it or I get bored I'll stop and I love it because I've just got to meet so many people I think and it doesn't we feel very involved which I love. On the Facebook page this week we asked if you were packed do you think you're reaction will be the same as we heard today I'm pretty sure I'd be way more suspicious of what brought my daughter to stab her husband than Pat seems to be. Now I posed that question and I'm really glad that I did because a number of people disagreed with me and it allowed me to say that my thinking was very personal and I wasn't thinking about it broadly enough so I'm actually you know really pleased that people like Liz figure said yes her reaction is absolutely normal he's a very strong character even more so when he speaks quietly. Control is his thing it's what he does. People like him make people feel it's the most common and the most normal thing to do as he says he sincerely believes he's a victim in document. Pat really hardly knows anything yet and a bit of a guess isn't enough against the compelling reason or walness of someone like Rob. No one apart from Jess and Kirsty can even begin to guess at any of the stuff we know they just believe the evidence of their eyes. Here is a charming intelligent bloke who nearly died and wants to see his little boy. It literally drives women mad that it's just too easy in court to prove how violent anti-rational they are and the man gets custody. If they've worked on the kids they'll back up the manipulative parent women can do it too how an earthly judge can see would for trees beats me. I knew from experience the storyline will take this turn but I still wasn't prepared for it when I heard his voice calmly bossing his mom around and her fussing desperate to please him. Liz thank you so much you were the first one to respond with that and some other people responded in the similar vein as well as some people being surprised like me. I really appreciate it because I think you've come from a completely different perspective for me and so it rounds out the story for me so thank you for that and thank you for your honesty in your reply. We also had a bit of a chat about some of the people who are missing including Cathy because I thought what Sholew Cathy would be there to support Pat and we have a very long list and a long discussion about all the people who are missing so if you would like to get involved in that you need to jump on to our Facebook page and add your thoughts. On our forum we continue to have a range of it's similar to Facebook but you you decide on the questions rather than me deciding on the questions. There is a discussion about Rob and questioning by the place. Someone has put up the post for the situation vacant for the vacancy at the BBC and we hope that one of our dumpedy-dums becomes edited. How awesome would that be? I bet we get actors on the program then. Rob Titch, you know this oh hell's bottoms is dusty substances and I can't even as the kids say also about Rob by Laura Li Dudley. So again we really encourage you to get involved in that so if you go to dumpedydum.com and for the forum link at the top and please get involved we really do want to hear from you as Roy Ford and Lucy say all the time you are the third part of the relationship and without you we don't have a program. So thank you everyone and I'll speak to you next week. So the question of the week is how did we come up with the idea of dumpedy-dum? How did we do this Lucy? We didn't you did it was all you. I said to everyone this blokes mad. Did you really? I did yeah I said to Simon I know who this bloke is and he said where are you meeting him? Let me know just in case. Did you really? Yeah well I didn't know you were it might be a Raven lunatic. Turned out you were but anyway there we go sure. So I have said this once or twice before but for I'm going to try and be brief so as people kind of know I've done a couple of podcasts before do you think what I have to make? I can't cut the world. One of the things which I absolutely do love and I've mentioned it once or twice is The Walking Dead and what really enhanced my enjoyment of watching The Walking Dead was listen to podcasts where people talk about it and kind of analyze the show afterwards. I sat down I was thinking one day and I thought hmm how can I not be known as a kind of political stroke historical podcast creator? I know I'll do a podcast which analyzes the archers so quite simply had the idea had the idea for a couple of months before I bumped into Lucy on the book of Face. That's Twitter. Oh yes sorry. Are you splitting with you? Yeah you did there was something I posted something about some piece of music and then you were all like oh that's really good oh and anyway it was it was all slightly inappropriate it was all slightly inappropriate and I thought who is this woman and lo and behold considering what we were communicating about was nothing to do with the archers it was about a piece of music on your Twitter bio you said that you're an archer's obsessive and then so I kind of clicked on that and you said also said you were very funny which I thought was very very immodest of you. I didn't I said I'd been in the funny woman funny women yeah but you'd be but you're bragging very braggadocio anyway so I then looked at your tweets and you'd crack the odd joke about the archer so I thought hmm could this be the podcast partner I needed I needed a podcast wife so we had a little bit of a DM that was on the Saturday. No it wasn't but I was available yes yeah so that was on the Saturday we met on the Tuesday at Royal Festival Hall and you looked me up and down all a bit funny I thought oh dare you I bought you a coffee we had a chat and then we did the next show on the next Monday and the rest is history yeah there you go thank you Millie um now Lucy it is time for you to hit us with your rhythm stick and tell us about your tweets of the week uh well switch 68 oops said according to my husband I could be the new editor as I know how to piss people off I don't know what he's talking about Peter Audenak said would now be a good time for Tony and Pat to discuss firing Rob from the shop for taking unauthorized absence yes it would uh this is Anna Tragorin I don't love the way that these characters appear and within about a nanosecond they've got a twitter account Anna Tragorin uh Helen's Barrester uh shared her notes with us it says Pat and Tony not that bright um Patricia Olympians said spoiler next week Rob and Ursula try to adopt Tom and Joe DB said Henry's biggest immediate problem is avoiding the shark the time fairly sure has just jumped over blossom that was tweet of the week if not a decade slash Helen that was quite good that's quite good right um right listen let's make you feel better when our listeners you know you sit and stew in your own juice and feed all cross about it and then you listen to our listeners and they're so sensible and and it's sort of well I say sensible because they agree with me and therefore they're sensible but yes it's just lovely it makes you feel very reassured no it's not listening for a fortnight though and I'm still very much looking forward to it and when I come back I will have withdrawal symptoms you will you will you cut you can't get through 14 days without listening you know what they say in adic you have to hit rock bottom like it's when you've woken up in a hedge with a coke baba in your pocket and then you think do you know what I'm gonna lay off the drink for a bit this is it I have I have this with this this week has been my waking up in a hedge with a coke baba in my pocket right when I come back I want them all to be dead apart from the ones I like uh who will that be um I want all the silent ones to come back that will make for some riveting radio won't it Lucy yeah right then what would you read a fry from the dead as well no I don't mean I don't mean the dead silent ones I mean the well what's the difference no I mean the ones that have recently disappeared oh Chris Carter yes all this yes Kathy yes Lily Victor Jamie who's ready now I quite like Jamie was getting interesting wasn't there I know anyway no when this all went wrong I'll tell you wrong do you know I am doing that thing that people do where they're a bit drunk in pubs and they're saying I say it's longer it's a line of applause I'm actually tapping my finger on my desk and leaning forward in a ukip time let's try and not to burn down any bridges okay then we're just trying to reconstruct Lucy okay good floruses wait who was that homeless fella darrel darrel when darrel appeared had a huge storyline and then disappeared again completely cleared off hmm that was it that was when they decided do you know what we can just bin a load of stuff it's like having a spring clean when you think you get carried away especially if you've got to skip if you've got to skip outside you feel compelled feel it even though you know and you go wandering around the house it's a bit like me with my pruning she is in the garden I prune things that need pruning and then I go pottering around ambling around the garden holding my pruning she is having a little go at things and then I kill them and that's what's happened it's been over pruned so you've got one enormous tree that's flourishing and everything else under it and around it is dying yeah cue garden says that big monster flower this week wasn't there it smells really foul oh god it's massive yeah yeah yeah it's and it's uh flowering at the moment and it lets after this pungent aroma even better analogy than mine yes pinky flower that's taken over everything uh right now if dear listener you have a list of characters that somehow become mute and you want to unmute them you can go to dombydom.com go on to the forum and you can talk about it you can put your list there and you can say I want Chris Carter back because I love his pecs or Alice or whoever uh and what was Alan Frank's daughter called and she went off to uh to fell for sure she became a midwife I liked her well she's she's a bit annoying but I did like her yeah anyway uh you can talk about it on the forum anything you can debate stuff so uh dombydom.com is the website Amy well done well done and then her grandmother came in every now and then yep the good old days good good old days and it was balanced in the village anyway Lucy Lucy it's news of reviews oh god I'm all cross again now news news of reviews from the united kingdom we have had reviews from dd midgers sharp sassy clever insightful and of course very funny that limmer thank you Lucy makes me giggle like a loom as good as rob titchena is bad bingley baggy another great podcast ryfield analysis of events at bhc has been brilliant that's that that's review of of of the week that is just blot on just read that again Lucy it was bhc though blossom hill cottage oh another great um you want me to read it again yes the part where he's he audited yeah okay another great podcast ryfield analysis of events at bhc has been brilliant is that right i don't think you quite enunciated that correctly just just one more time please one more time i'm doing uh susan ray clear of the throat and wiggle the shoulders another great podcast ryfield analysis of events at bhc has been brilliant can you just stress remember folks it's important to help our little show you can do that by going on to iTunes and posting reviews so keep them coming it's another way you can help us it's by giving us some of your hard and cash and to do that you can hit the donate button on our website or you can go to patreon.com search for dumpy dump and you can donate two dollars a show which is about £1.30 think of it as sort of legalised mugging it looked chugging that's what we are yes with chuggers you don't even have to pretend to be on your phone when we walk towards you mm-hmm i remember folks to get in contact with us you can send us a voice message via speak pipe on our website we can call us on zero two zero three zero three one three one zero five to leave us a telephonic message uh you can find us on social media specifically on twitter where we're at dummy dump me i'm at ryfield uh sera smith at sera underscore smith and harry it at chambridges and remember on the other kind of bastion of social media facebook uh you can find us there so you just seem to go under facebook and type in dummy dump and you'll find there are 1,207 like allerkers and guess how many new ones we had this week Lucy oh no it says right in front of you i know but i thought you wanted me to pretend that i hadn't heard it well you could have just guessed and said 11 or just 11 well done well done well done your anger as it being abated somewhat it has i it's dissipated i feel i feel karma dummy dump is therapy i know it's quite cathartic good good good right now Lucy is there anything you would like to say before we you go on your two i think i am spent i don't think there is anything else i need to say about anything ever again in fact my throat is hurting because i have been shouting and laughing and talking so much right then shall we say goodbye to our listeners yeah talking of goodbyes you say goodbye to you don't we why is that because you're going to mamerica well yes i am and um if anybody is around central London-ish on friday-ish uh i'm going to be having some drinks ish with a couple of pals and then i'm going to go and watch um captain america civil war at some point about nine o'clock ish so if you um find yourself in and around central London between let's say five and like nine uh right i know i know i know i know i know you do the whole Jamaican relaxed thing but that is insanely loose well i haven't finished between five and nine somewhere in central London it's not a sodding treasure hunt well listen you didn't let me finish you didn't let me finish right why don't you send me uh god no i have to say a place then don't know what i was going to say and i'll let it this bit out what i was going to say was if you just fancy coming along send me an email and then but i might as well name a place is what you're saying just name a place well yes i mean it does help people immeasurably knowing where they're going uh but say if nobody comes in i feel like a plonker don't be dead of course people will come do you want me to come yes please oh all right they're now come uh all right why don't we meet at it's going to be somewhere a bit fun oh gosh yes i know wait a minute what's that place called oh god would you mean fun not like kenton fun no no it's not not not like something no no no no um but if you just happen to find yourself in sent in the central london area i will be at the lord wargrave public house um which is uh folks i'll tell you exactly where that is um i'll be there on friday it's on brendan street which is double u one h five h e and um it's just off of uh the edge we're raised it's very close to marble arch and edge we're road tube i'll be there from approximately five o'clock to about nine o'clock um so if you just wanted to swing by you can swing by and if you can't i don't understand royff mmm it's okay to say to people please come and and say goodbye to me without going through this whole parlour about you don't need to if you're busy and don't worry about it and everything else because people will come you know well i well i know you're worried that no one will come and then you'll feel like a spanner but they will come so don't worry about it you can ask people to do a nice thing for you that's all right oh well this is where i'm being a bit English because it for all feels a bit unnecessary don't go to any trouble on my account i'll be fine exactly so so that's that and then and and if you really want to enter the spirit in enter into the spirit of things you can come along to the cinema with us whatever's all right smashing uh is there anything more that we need to say lazy v preman no great we've sufficiently embarrassed ourselves and everyone else that's good yeah all right smashing goodbye goodbye even my other half said the other day why is brian shouting and i said because he's crossed about a herbal lay and Simon said what's a herbal lay herbal lay don't wanna take the 24 hours thanks Roy that's all back now it took me a few sunday evening to stop that now you started it all over again the simon got spiced up herbal lay he was going what's a herb but no don't tell me it's fireman but i don't i'm getting drawn in i don't want to know a herbal layer i only want to lay all the way back from open abby i was singing that it works really well right? oh all right this is the next goal! 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