DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

DTD - 97 Yokel Bear takes control - download this version

Sitting in for Roifield this week is Yokel Bear who hails from a modest Thames Valley town that shall not be named; Jasper Fforde has magnificently recorded the environs and those curious to know more should look online. Another majestic performance from a new presenter. And Lucy seems to welcome changed company in Derek's back bedroom.This was recorded before the thrilling developments on Friday when Rob taught Henry about obedience and so, in line with my usual summary approach, that storyline will not be mentioned again too much. However, Yokel Bear has listened to proceedings this week and is not perhaps quite as upset because the Paul Trueman fundraising mentioned last week (nearly £60k) has brought good out of fictional evil, so redressing the mental harm to listeners.It did not take long before our hosts strayed from The Archers. Yokel Bear had geese or ducks on the railway line and then stayed in a haunted hotel in Taunton, although he did not hear the late piper. Meanwhile Roifield interrupted with an update on a late Witherspoon call plus editing the script on line during the recording. Yokel and Lucy then decided to go up the Wookey Hole together. And Yokel Bear was a kilt wearing bridesmaid at a wedding.Pancake Day was a high point for the week - but Kate's moving house and Lilian giving in far too easily were also covered. Keri Davis was responsible for the week and he has admitted that he likes writing for Rob - but he also hits the right notes with many other characters although the crossover between a mobile eggery and a shepherd's hut has left many confused. In particular poor Bert seems overworked for a man of his age.And finally we are closing on 1000 likes on Facebook - it would be nice to do that before the 100th recording.KosmoOn this week’s episode we have calls from Dusty Substances who got everything she wanted,Pam Cruickshank who has a culinary plot predictionMichelle Laferte who thinks we may end up with a Farebrethren at BrookersKosmo who says he got it wrongMrs Bentos who thinks Henry’s been gagged Witherspoon who called in lateand Goddess Deeva who wants a word with the women of Ambridge

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Duration:: 1h 24m
Broadcast on:: 15 Feb 2016
Audio Format:: other

Kenny's family healthcare benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. But two kids, he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's On The Job Skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that too. That led to a bigger paycheck. So he was able to get his youngest son a drum roll, please. Drum set! Next up, drum lessons. Learn more at about amazon.com. Amazon. Every day better. So good, so good, so good. What's better than Black Friday deals? Rack Friday deals and Nordstrom Rack. That's right. For a limited time, take an extra 40% off red tag clearance for everyone on your list. Save on Ugg, Vince, Free People, and more. With an additional 40% off Nordstrom Racks already reduced prices. We're talking amazing savings on your favorite brands. All sales final and restrictions apply. So bring your gift list and your wish list to your nearest Nordstrom Rack today. Hi, I'm Sarah Smith. If you're the type of person that goes to liberty as other people would go on safari and the fact that John Lewis doesn't have a funeral service makes you fret, Sarah Smith cleaning plots offer you. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer. Proud sponsors of Dumpty Dum. The arch is on the radio and they have it like when it's on and it's not on the tv, it's on the radio and we only made a box, a very nice box. This episode is sponsored by Sharon Robson and is dedicated to her friend Debs Harkins, who has, out of the blue, just been diagnosed with cancer. Debs is currently listening to this podcast while working her way through treatment. McMillan cancer support, do a fantastic job supporting people affected by cancer and Sharon would encourage listeners to donate to them if they can. You can do this by going to www.millan.org.uk Okay, I'll just launch into it then. This is Dumpty Dum, the show about the reality doctor drama that is centered on Ambridge in the heart of the Midlands. I'm the banana and chocolate cream pancake that is yokele bear and with me I have the damp lemon crepe that is Lucy Freeman and the last part of our Shrove Tuesday is you. Today's Dumpty Dum is from Junior Beigeant who got a bit bored and also wants to talk about pandas and can I say just from personal point of view I think that's a great idea to talk about pandas but you know maybe that's not what we're here for but pandas, yay pandas. So Lucy can you remind our listeners how they can win the accolade of Dumpty Dummer of the week? Yes, if you would like to sing us a Dumpty Dum, give us a plot prediction or extort money from your elderly relatives then ring us on 0203, 031, 3105 or leave us a message on Speakpipe thanks to lovely sandwiches for our amazing voices, to Cosmo for his podcast roundups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us, thanks also to Derek for loaning the back bedroom, I saw him on the stairs on the way up and he was a bit flustered and said he was worried he had a stalker, I told him not to fiddle with it and it would die down. Oh, in quickly with the double entendres there. Yes lovely back bedroom sat in here with Lucy in the back bedroom sat on the bed with a well-thumb copy of the Ambridge Trauma Society calendar next to me, I don't know what Derek's been doing there. Is it none of the pages are stuck together are they? I'm not going anywhere near touching it, don't, don't, don't, shove it off with your foot, move it further down with your foot. Yeah so a pair of tweezers I think just you know into the bin, so so on this week's episode we have calls from Dusty Substances who got everything she wanted, lucky Dusty, Pam Crookshank who has a culinary plot prediction, Michelle who thinks that we may end up with a fair bedroom at Brookers, Cosmo who thinks he got it wrong, and Mrs Bentos who's worried about little Henry, and finally goddess diva who wants a word with the women of Ambridge, yeah I bet she does. But first let's hear about Lucy's week in Ambridge. Bit of a return to normal characters this week for everyone, how nice, Lillian being gullible, Eddie being shifty, Kate making him elder Mark Oslop public spirited, and Bert having a quick ponder. Update from the curtain committee, Piggy has hand-stitched the tapes, I thought you'd want to know, further bulletins as events warrant, Piggy was having the right day of it, poor old bat. Aren't you cardboard's getting up her nose, yacking all the way through the afternoon play, Kate popped in to see her to try and prize her purse open, and then Pat tried to force a black pudding scotch egg on her but she managed to fight her off, she's old but wiry, Piggy. Johnny can't get enough of black pudding scotch eggs apparently, but I imagine he can't get enough of anything that isn't Leak, the poor sod's probably eggbound by now, it's only because he can't face any more of your leak, frick or say on a bed of leeks with a leak coolly, Pat, stop whittering on about scotch bloody eggs and spring your poor daughter from her prison of a house woman. Poor Bert is not looking forward to Valentine's Day, he's first without Frieda, he's hoping to distract himself with Zoe's pancakes, but he's got something to look forward to, and escape from the Brooker's madhouse, imminently, and back to quiet evenings, in front of the fire, applauding Nigel Farage on question time. Pip, following the arch of family tradition of being able to start a fight in an empty room, has managed to have a domestic with someone who she barely knows over the phone, well done Pip, she was having a quiet chat about it with her mum, when Hootie Gill appeared and interrupted, cleaving a path between them by brandishing a flapjack and shouting "Don't mind me, but let me in, I won't know what's happening!" Tom turned up at the ball for the pancake toss dressed as a ghost buster, he'd strapped Henry the Hoover to his back, "Yes, whoop!" and was wearing the decontamination suit that everyone wears when they eat anything that's been near eco like Larry. Toby urged V-Vat Rex, who was still truntering on about grassy eggs or eggy grass or whatever to throw himself after Pip, as he put it "she comes with a farm", more likely than she is to come with Toby anyway. Meanwhile, a fair brethren said they needed a mobile chicken shed to transport all their mobile chicken shit, so Ruth put them in touch with Bert Fry. Bert said the chicken shed would need to be very mobile, very mobile. I have an image of a Hoot career ring around the field on two wheels with a load of terrified hens clinging on for dear life inside, but this raised a question. What's the difference between a mobile chicken shed and a mobile shepherd's hut? Chickens, as far as I can see? Why doesn't Eddie make the chicken shed while he's at it? Or if Bert's so good at joining her in machinery, why didn't Linda ask him to make the flipping shepherd's hut? Why is Eddie the natural choice for shepherd's huts and Bert the go-to man for mobile chicken shit transporters? Zoe, the Belgian specialist, had proved to be a bust in the bull kitchen, so Jolene's bust went in there instead to shout at her a bit, until Zoe tried to strangle Jolene with her apron strings. The answer was, of course, to bring back the jail, bird ex, alcoholic, bankrupt, Wayne to run the kitchen. Who are? Wayne really hot surfaces and 24-hour access to alcohol. What could possibly go wrong? And Shuler and Bert were having a quick battenburg in the ambridge tweeshop. I misheard Bert when he questioned having a piggyback in the church. I was wondering exactly how far his relationship with Shuler had gone, and in front of the congregation? Then Tichy knob came marching in with an armpel of chopsticks and prawn crackers, and Gwen questioned, said, "Oh, it's for this cross-promotion we're doing." And Bert and Shuler just went, "Oh, okay. You'd never say cross-promotion to a customer. You'd just say what's for this Chinese thing we're doing. I mean, I know it's Rob we're talking about, but even he does a bit like a technical manual." Justin is Arthur Lillian, apparently, to ease himself into the county, and into Lillian, I think. I've gone right off Justin again, the sleazy old git, doing as my wife doesn't understand to be bit, and depressingly Lillian is falling for it, the daft cow. Anyway, the best bit of the week was hearing poor old Rex on a disastrous date with Pip. Bless him. He had a moment of optimism when he thought Pip might dump the absent Matthew, but then his better self prevailed, and he did a Serrano de Bergerac and ended up urging her to stay with him. She perked up no end, but in the process moved Rex so firmly into the friend zone he is practically sitting on the edge of the bath in a face mask, handing Pip her tampax. The end. Well done. Bravo, Lucy. Bravo. I love that one. Yes. Lots to talk about this week then. Peggy, can we talk about Peggy? We can. I've decided that Peggy runs almost entirely on passive aggression, so much so that if her passive aggressiveness was electricity, they could probably run the anaerobic digester for a year off her. What did she do this week that was particularly passive aggressive? I'm not sure I noticed. Maybe not passive aggressive, but oh, she gets the barbed comments in. I've never heard anyone say the word hippie with so much disdain with the straight face before. Well, Pippi's a pippi, but a piggy is that generation that it's still an insult, isn't it? We say, oh no, it's like a really hippie place. It's really, really nice. You know, you just means relaxed and pleasant and positive and everything, and you know, not terribly, you know, sort of wildly successful or ambitious, but you know, nice, but for piggy, it still means drugs, long hair, dirt, you know, she still got that kind of daily mail mentality. She does kick it. I don't know why the hell she moved Christine in, because she clearly wants to kill her, doesn't she? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we've gone from slagging her off with the scones, and now she's talking through the play and everything else. She's just, yeah, she just doesn't, she's very impatient with her, just intolerant, I think. I think I agree. She's, it's, they're certainly a very odd couple to live together, aren't they? They're just, but Christine just kind of takes it, doesn't she? She's just oblivious to it all. Yeah, I think that's it. I think she is largely completely oblivious. It just seems to sort of just sail off her completely. She just doesn't notice, which I suppose is the best thing you couldn't be wildly sensitive if you're living with piggy, because she'd just spend the whole time thinking, Oh, I wonder what she meant by that. Oh God, you know, awful. Oh, it would be, it would be terrible. I think sometimes Christine's a bit like, you know, on the Simpsons, when you see inside Homer's head, there's kind of, she's just got the, the field and the sheep and everything's lovely. And this, this, there's just piggy in the corner, just throwing in these barbed comments, like, um, little spritting ball of fury in the corner. Yes, whatever happened to baby Peggy's, but I did like the pancake day. I really like pancake day. We had a lot of stuff, actually, this week that was, like I said, at the thing, it wasn't seem to be a return to, you know, we had Kate, suddenly deciding, that's it. I'm going to, you know, I've tried mugging everybody I can think of for money. No one would give me any, so I'm going to just flog the only thing I've got left, which is my house, which I didn't do anything to earn either. And you know, I'm moving back in with you, daddy, you know, and so that's sort of entirely playing to type, isn't it? And Lillian falling for Justin, what's she doing? Oh, I don't know. I'm torn on this one because, on the one hand, I'm thinking, oh, you sleazy old so-and-so, Justin. And he's been dropping hints for a few weeks now about, oh, well, I'm not that happy. And, you know, that you're just getting that sense from her. To be honest with you, I don't, he's meant to be quite a direct character. And you think that they just have him, say, Lillian, you fancy a quickie. But actually, he's done this whole, would you be my social secretary? And I'll start buying you clothes and everything. That's a mistress, basically. What is, I mean, there's one added element to that. And that's, and also on Tuesdays and Fridays, you know, you're going to be in my bed. And that's, that's a mistress in a very sort of French way. Well, I think, I think that Lillian deserves a bit of happiness, because I think she's been treated really badly. I mean, I've really, I still, I'm, I'm bemused by your, what happened with Matt? What, what happened? It's just a big mystery, isn't it? It's just something happened, and he was gone. Yeah. Well, he, but I really, I can't talk to you. I haven't stole all my money. Yeah, this is, this is in a notch, it's not a mystery at all. Not really, no. Nice that you're trying to make it, you know, seem nicer than it actually was, which was yet again, she made an appalling choice. But you know, I wanted to have a bit of happiness as well, but, but somebody who's already got a wife is not a bit of happiness, is it? It's a bit of a disaster waiting to happen. And a lot of waiting around and checking texts and refreshing your emails. And you know, that's what it is. And you know what, I have never met a bloke that was married that said to me, do you know what, I am entirely happy with my wife. She's still very exciting and I love her very much. But I would also quite like to have sex with you. They have to kind of build it up with this kind of, oh, will we don't get on? And you think, oh, God, here we go again. You know, and I don't know why they bother, to be honest. And I can't believe Lillian would fall for that. And I hope, I really hope she's not going to, but I've got an awful feeling that she is. I think she is. I'd just like to inject at this point and say script writers, could you just have like a millionaire happen, a single millionaire just by the village, please. Because I think that's what she deserves. I mean, let's face it, whoever Lillian ends up with is going to need a bit of cash because she is a woman of certain tastes. But I think, yeah, she's not going to settle for Dr Lock, is she? No, but she would be money were well spent because let's face it, you're not exactly going to have a dull time. She's just, I love the bit where she was at the races. It was just like the sheer joy of the races was, oh, I love her. I just love her. See, I'm forming a fan club as we speak. So one man fan club. I don't think you're alone though. It's a huge, huge support group for Lillian, isn't there? Massive supporter club. Yeah, and I think just, I think the laugh helps as well. I just get a better week when there's a Lillian Cackle to be honest with you. It sets you up for the week, doesn't it, after the omnibus? So, you know, I think it puts us free in my step as Lillian's Cackle. Now, before we go to the call of Rineras, how do you feel? Because I know that you find the storyline that shall not be named, very uncomfortable making. Did you manage to sit through any of it this week or not? Yeah, I did. I made myself and actually, yeah, I kind of, I suppose, taken a bit of a break from it as maybe take a step back and kind of, because I was getting, I suppose in a way, that's why the script writers have actually been quite good on the story in terms of, it does draw you in, but for all the wrong reasons, I think. So, you know, I'm happy to talk about it, to be honest with you. Okay, all right. Now, let's see which call of Rineras have call of Rineras. Hello, Ambridge 396. Hello, it's Dusty Substances here, the wrong sort of listener, and I don't have a cold, hooray. I just wanted to, well, a quick message really. I just listened to the Shrove Tuesday episode, and sort of following on from what I said last time I spoke was what a lovely episode it was. It was all the things I wanted. I wanted there to be a catastrophe over the pancake toppings. I wanted Kenton to get in trouble with Joe Lean, not seriously, but to be a little bit bickory. I wanted the new chef to resign. I could have done without the fair brethren, but you can't have it all. There was only a tiny little reference to Helen, but not enough to make me feel unsettled. So, well done. I thought that was terrific. So, more of that ilk, I think, would be really, really nice, and I'm looking forward to misplaced maypoles. Oh, and we had the buttons. Didn't they do well? They won a prize for something, loved it. Anyway, that's it, briefly, but love to everyone, and bye for now. Dusty Substances. Dusty, you are still sounding chesty, Dusty, or Dusty chesty, whichever you prefer. The show of Tuesday one was a lovely episode. I agree. You liked it as well, didn't you? Yokes. Oh, I loved it. I loved it. I thought it was a great episode. And only on the arches would a pancake topping be considered a catastrophe. But I did, just as a, are you a good cook? Do you cook? I can. Pancakes aren't my forte. No, but can you imagine anything more nightmarish than having a sloppy chef, or even worse, having to do it yourself? And the prick out the front saying to people, "Ha ha, just pick anything you want, anything. It's like a nightmare." Somebody coming back in and saying, "Well, this lot would like Greek yogurt and chocolate chips, and you've only got one of those things." Or, you know, you've got some chocolate chips somewhere, but you don't know where the hell they are. And then you've got a list of 27 other people who also want, you know, Apple and Caramel and Marmite and soap and whatever else. And you just think, "My God, this is Kent, and he's just such a twat sometimes. He just does not think about the repercussions of his bright ideas on the person that's actually got to fulfill them. I felt so sorry for Jolene. I do genuinely have nightmares about things like that, that I'm going to somehow be in a kitchen with all these orders come flying in, and I can't do them and all that terrible." Yeah, it is a bit nightmare, isn't it? Also, as well, I think this is a wider problem with Kenton. And it's the problem that I've noticed about Kenton is that he's one of those forced fun kind of people, isn't it? Everyone's got to have fun. It's got to be a laugh, and it doesn't matter kind of what the consequences are, just as long as everything's a laugh and everything's fun. And I was out there thinking, "He's going to run out of things. He's going to be having to go into inorganic stuff to put on the - yes, you want nails on your back? Yes, we can do that." I wish, the one thing I wish I had was that the Belgium chef, I wish we could have heard the falling out with Jolene. Yes, yes, it would have been a real bitch fight. That's what I thought. Well, that's what I thought. I was a bit disappointed because I saw it on the kind of blurb saying that you know, there's the chef walks out, and I was gearing up for the upgrade. This is going to be a Jolene moment, and that was like, "Oh, she's gone." So it's like, "Oh, right, okay, then all of this up then." So it felt a bit short change there, I've got to be said. What was the Ghostbusters thing about as well? What did they come dressed as Ghostbusters? God knows, god knows, especially as the last remake of Ghostbusters Evolved Three Women. Just like, mind you, did I tell you that last night I stayed in a haunted hotel? You did, and you also tell me that you were delayed on your train because of geese crossing the - which made me think that you must have been coming through Penny Hasett, because you blamed the fair brothers. Yes, it could be chickens. It was really geese, geese on the line at Bath. Was that right? Just outside Bath, yes, it was. He clarified later and said, "As we were hurtling towards Chippinum," he said, "it could have been ducks." I don't think they've got quite a good look at them, but these things kind of - it's the West country, these things. Can I just point out to our overseas listeners, Yokel Bear lives. He doesn't live in that London. He lives in the kind of place where you have ducks crossing the railway line. The whole of England is not like this. Can I just say that? Because otherwise we're reinforcing this Richard Curtis kind of lunatic view of - oh dear, that's Roy Fields texting me. What does he want? Hang on, let me see. Can tell me off. Can we say get on with it? No, he's saying there's a new witherspoon call, and we haven't heard that yet, so we're just going to have to play that in without hearing it. There we go. I like to see that he's doing his directorial duty from the other side of the world when I'm already recording, but anyway. So tell me about the Haunted House. Sorry? What was the Haunted House? Well, I was doing - because I'm a trainer, I was training a residential course, and it was in a hotel in Taunton that's right, and it's the Castle Hotel. I've been there. I did a product launch with Gokwan there. And yes, it was quite posh, so it was all very lovely. But I was talking to the person I was captioning, they were saying, oh yes, there's reputedly on the floor you're staying on, the ghost of somebody who plays the bagpipes. I know, and I was sat there saying, well, hold on a second, isn't that going to be a little bit noisy? And they said, it's all right, nobody really hears it very much. So I'm just like, okay then. But nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing in my room in the middle of the night and put the hoodies up me. So, you know, everything was fine. I'm afraid of no ghost. Hang on, bagpipes in Taunton. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Was it not the hotel boiler because all hotel boilers sound like bagpipes? Yeah, that's true. It could be that, actually. It could be. But I mean, this is West Country. Sorry? Do people see it or hear it? I don't know, I didn't really get that far. It was just, I kind of wandered off thinking bagpipes. That's a little bit old, isn't it? But I don't know. I mean, it's, I think it's part of the West Country. I think people from the West Country are very, very good with turning folklore and bits of old nonsense, in tourist things. Like, if you're up into the keyhole? No. You know, the, the witch of Wookiee Hole? Yes. This, um, stalagmite that's meant to look like a witch. Yeah. Well, if you ever go, I'm a, I hate to break it to you. It doesn't look anything like a witch. Right. Or to whatever. Does it look like a Wookiee? They pay the money and then they're like, well, you know, I don't think it looks like a witch. So, but anyway, but that's just me we're wittering on about West Country. Is Wookiee Hole worth, would you recommend a quick go up the Wookiee Hole, Yokel Bear? I think a quick go up the Wookiee Hole is worth, worth it once in your lifetime. Just the ones, maybe. It's quite good, actually, you know, because it's big caves and it's kind of impressive and stuff like that. But yes, official recommendation, Yokel Bear says, go up the Wookiee Hole. And watch out for ducks just outside bath. Absolutely. You know, they're all over the shop. I mean, it's like the fair brother and farming round there. And bag piping, Somerset things in bagpipers in Torton. Right. Hey, you don't reckon it's jazz has not been around much lately. I reckon he's got a job with a hotel in Torton. So, the Somerset tourist board. My name is Pam Crookshank and I'm a first-time coloraner. My prediction for this week is that Fallon and Emma will be serving frozen coconut yogurt. Thank you. Pam Crookshank said that Emma and Fallon will be serving frozen coconut yogurt. He changed that, didn't he? Bloody titchy knob. All that she ended up with five million coconuts instead of five or whatever it was. The thing is, is that Rob doesn't know how to run the business really, does he? He's winging it, I think. I mean, he obviously comes from, you know, farm management background and what have you. But he's just stepped in and I think he's had to step in because unless he's directly involved, that's an area of kind of where he would have no control over Helen. And I think he's just making it up as he goes along. It's just like, oh yeah, we'll get 700 coconuts. That's fine. Yes, but what brought me was why on earth they even needed five coconuts. What do you do? You don't use real, if it's like mass catering, you don't use real coconut for anything, do you? You use coconut cream for Thai stuff like green curries. You use desiccated coconut in cakes. Nobody uses proper bloody coconut. You have to smack it with an axe to open the bloody thing. I mean, I've never seen, you know, I watch MasterChef and all that. I've never seen anyone there with the chisel going. Yeah, with the grill. This time you open it open. Banging it on the doorstep, trying to get it open and then picking bits of shell out of their hair and eyelids and everywhere else. Yeah. Oh, Pam, you completely forgot to say what you did, where you were from, but you do have a lovely accent. I was very much enjoying listening to your voice. Very nice. Yes, absolutely. Lovely. Goddess diva now. Hello, Dante Dan. It's goddess diva here. A really very pissed off goddess diva is likely to get sweary just warning you. I wanted to talk this week about the lack of self-esteem and self-worth of the women in ambridge because I've got support now where I'm just like, no, no. Pat, anorexia doesn't come back. It never goes away. What kind of relationship do you have with your daughter? What kind of woman have you brought her up to be when she's ending up feeling really, really bad all the time because of her stupid husband? And what is it? We're Rob. What is it? Is either like the man with the golden cock or something? Honestly, sorry, Tim Watson, but you're not that good looking and you're not that fecking charming. Also, Lillian, I love Lillian. My boy's been team Lillian and she deserves better than being a married man's weekend filly. There I said it. I'm not happy about that. And Kate, Kate Medicani, instead of cementing your lack of self-worth by going to your nan and going to your mum and going to your dad and being turned down for money all the time, go to a fucking bank. All right, just don't get alone. You have a good business plan. Business people have said you have a good business plan. Pick, stop moping about like last week's sausage order and go and see Matt, go get yourself laid. You have a car and it's not like the Brookfield arches don't know the way to come. You're up and down there all the bloody time and you're employed by your parents. You are an employee. Take some annual leave, fuck's sake. Emma, oh Emma, I just want to whip off your cloak of class divide and point out that you rock. Never mind your insecurities girl, you rock. Kirsty, never mind this whole, I can't go and see Helen. Turn up anyway, go to go to the hospital anyway, go and stop skirting around the issue and go and tell her. I think she's about ready and if Rob turns up, a swift fuck off will soon make the cowardly little shit back off. I need to calm down so I'm just gonna point out that I've ordered a load of black Panther outfits ready for you all. Ladies, it is time to get into formation and slay. God is diva out. This was a masterclass in God is diva calls, I feel and anyone that is new to the podcast will be rocked back on their two-inch heels by that. I agree, Lillian deserves better than a married man, I've already whitted on about that. Yes, why doesn't Kate go to a bank, as she very rightly points out. Lillian said it's a good business plan, Debbie has said it's a good business plan. I know Debbie is kind of indulgent of Kate but she is a business woman and she wouldn't just, if it was complete nonsense, she wouldn't just fork over cash, would she? She'd actually say, "Kate, this is mental, no." And yeah, the women of ambridge are in a bad way, I agree at the moment, they are badly lacking, apart from Linda, who's just kind of like the powerhouse of the village, the driving force of the village. They're all a bit drippy and wet at the minute. Well, I think so, I've got a little, maybe not a disagreement, I hate to say disagreements, if I say disagreeing with God is diva, when I see her next, I'll probably get, you know, slapped up the chops. But I've got a slight thing that I noticed tonight, though, on the episode about the episode about how Kate was moving back in, is there was one exception to the women being all over the place and quite weak at the moment, and that's in Brian's house, because no matter what Brian does, they just ignore him and just get on with it. Yeah, that's true, actually. It's, you know, it's basically, it's really obvious he doesn't want Lillian to be there, though, who wouldn't want to live with Lillian, let's be honest. But he's really obvious he doesn't want all this to happen. And it's absolutely furious with Kate, and no one's taking any notice of that either, and Jenny just keeps saying to him, "Oh, Brian, stop being such a big grump!" He's just throwing, you know, he's kind of got good reason, really. When it finished, the scene finished, and it was like Adam said, "Well, you know, you sure you don't want to drink?" And he said, "Yes, I suppose I better have one." I thought it should end with that comedy kind of whack, whack, whack. And a lot of Brian seems to be like that at the moment. On the one hand, you put him in the farm environment, he's very much the alpha male, but put him with the women in his house, and he just sits back going, "Well, what can I do, really?" Yeah, but as I said last week, he has lost the moral high ground. He doesn't have a leg to stand on anymore. Yes, he's standing on one leg on the moral high ground. He's kind of, you know, it's all gone. Jenny's in control. He's kind of just handed it over, and now it's, you know, he's sown his wild oats. That's all done. Hello, prostate. Forget it. You know, it's kind of, it's all over now. And just sit back in your gentlemen's cravat, and, you know, drink your whiskey and shut up, basically, because you've had your fun, and now it's someone else's turn. Yeah, basically, it's just like, you know, it's like, you said, sit back in your slippers and election time, put your u-kip poster up in the window. That'll keep you happy, Brian. But in the meantime, the women are just going to get on with everything else. But I agree with the rest of what God has said. I think roundly, I mean, I don't know, Kirsty, I was, every time Kirsty's kind of, she takes that step back about, "Oh, right, okay, when Rob is pushing her away, I really wish she just ignored it and just go and storm up to the house." Rob would then just lose it, and maybe that will break the whole kind of, the whole plot line. I don't know, but I just, you know, I came back to listening to the Robin Helen storyline this week. And I think the only thing that really made it bearable listening to me was the fact that Paul has done the charity fundraising thing. And it feels like, okay, it's really difficult to listen to, but there's something positive going on. And I think that's kind of, that's helped a little bit as well. But it's still very, very difficult to listen to. I find it so difficult. Yeah. Also, something that I'm finding hard is the the, the, the, the, him force feeding Helen and watching her while she eats and all the chompy chompy noises of her eating. And it's, it's, it's really disturbing. It's terrible. Oh, it's so horrible. And, and I think it goes back to, you know, when the whole thing, when they were in the pub, having the meal, how he's involving Henry in that as well. Yeah. About, you know, you know, what we've ordered. We've ordered that. Yeah. It's just, it's, it's, it's also been an eye on her as well, because I don't really, I mean, I've not really kind of nobody that I know has ever, you know, if they've had an eating disorder, they've never really kind of shared the details with me. So it's actually making me go and find out a little bit more about how, you know, quite how evil what Rob is doing. He's picked up on this, and he's actually stoking the fire of an eating disorder, which is just beyond belief really. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's, he's almost in competition with the anorexia, because it's, it wants control of Helen. Helen thinks she's in, Helen's desperate to be in control of herself. The anorexia is in control of her, and he's trying to get control of, of both of them. And he's, Helen is being pulled apart in between him, the needs, his needs, and anorexia's needs. It's, it's just sick, it's horrendous, horrendous. And I was never really a big fan of Helen before. No, I think a lot of people have found that that now. And actually, I just want to rescue her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The one thing I will say as well, and I think this is important saying, I know you've spoken before about kind of the people who can't tell what's real and what's not on social media. But Tim Watson, playing this character, I think has been the most amazing acting I've, you know, it's incredible. Because there are moments where I feel a genuine chill. Yeah. Just the slightest thing, just an intonation of the voice. Yeah. Just a pause before something said. Yeah. So I think, you know, it would be so easy to for the writing and the acting to become pantomime villain. But this is so much more insidious than that. When I, the last time I saw Kerry, he did say, I love writing, Rob, because he's such an, you can take him in so many different ways. He's such an interesting, you know, absolutely despicable. But, you know, just really good to write because he's such an unusual character to be able to write. Yeah. And I guess that's kind of the difference between kind of person like myself, who's, who's the consumer, if you like, listening. The writing must be a very, very different process. But I think, I mean, like I said, hats off to Tim Watson, because I mean, if this is the kind of character that's being written, he's playing it unbelievably well. Did you jump when, when he turned up at the school? Oh, my God. Yes. It was something out of a horror film, isn't it? That it was terrible. And I sort of went, Oh, no. And, and, you know, I thought he's going to ruin it. He's going to ruin it. And I genuinely felt frightened. And I jumped. And I know I was standing on my own in my own kitchen. And I still jumped, just by him saying, Helen, you know, I jumped. And then I hadn't even more chilling thought, because when he said I was passing, and I saw the car outside. And what went through my mind was, what if he wasn't just passing, what if he's actually moved on to, he's following her. And it was just like, Oh, God, how bad can this get out? Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's still, I'm still finding it really difficult. I still think it's gone on too long. But I think I've kind of changed my position a little bit on that, because I think we've, we're seeing the beginnings of a bit of hope. Yeah. Kirsty's really beginning to suss what's going on. I think, I think the family, I think Tom will be the next one. I don't know whether this will be something that will bring Kirsty and Tom back together. But I think this is something that Kirsty and Tom will talk about. Yeah. I don't think that Tom has been taken in by Rob in the same way that everyone else seems to have been. No. And I think he's holding back because it's like, you know, his brother-in-law. But you can tell by the way that Rob's been challenging him on the, you know, what's going on in the shot. I think that's where in a strange way, that's where Rob is overstepping the mark, you know, overplaying his hand, I should say, overstepping my overplaying his hand is with Tom rather than with Helen. Yeah. Because he's drawing attention to what he's doing when he does it to Tom. He's highlighting it and he's too overt. He can do it with Helen in a much more creepy and insidious way that other people wouldn't necessarily notice outside the marriage. But when he does it to Tom, it's much more evident, I agree. Wow. I think also as well the, I mean, I'm getting bummed things. When Helen hopefully, hopefully, is rescued from this, there will be a part issue. I know. I was thinking exactly the same thing today. I was thinking, how am I going to celebrate when this is over? How am I going to celebrate when she's told him to stick it? You know, I've got to do a thing, I've got to do a something. Save him. Yeah, I know. It's just, you just have to. Oh, right. Let's move on to lighter topics. Michelle le Fert. Hi, Lucy and Yoko Bear. It's Michelle and Rhode Island. I am now convinced that Pip is going to end up with Rex because of his kindness regarding helping her with their Matthew situation. So does that mean that when Pip inherits the farm, she'll be a fair brother. And so it will be a fair brother and farm. Oh my God. I can't imagine. When Pip inherits the farm, will she be a fair brother? Oh, because he was so sweet, there wasn't he? He was. And if it's going to be anybody, it's got to be Rex. It can't be Toby, because let's face it, Toby is a one man walking chlamydia epidemic. I mean, he really is. He's not a keeper. Yeah, no. He's not only is he not a keeper, he's not a go anywhere near her with a barge polar. That's what he is. He's just, yes, he's, I wouldn't touch it. I wouldn't touch it with Rex. Yes, exactly. It's, it's like either, yeah, no, maybe. I mean, I think that the whole long distance thing with Matthew, I don't think that's going to last. And I think they introduced something this week about we've had our first argument. And I think, I mean, though that Rex is what he thought was a date was painful, and I felt for him. Now, let me ask you, this is this is the moral question which will decide who is the wordier Rex or Matthew, right? If it had been Matthew sitting listening to Pip, and she said, I don't know what to do about Rex, would Matthew have said, dump him? Yes. But Rex did not. Thus, Rex is the nicer man. I agree with you. I have thought of it like that, but yes, I absolutely agree with you. Okay. I think, I think also, I don't know whether it's just my shallow nature as well. It's like always a rugby player as well. You know, I've got a, I've got a picture in my head and, you know, whatever. I really like the way that the plot line has kind of separated out Toby from Rex, because as a beginning, they were just indistinguishable. They were just a pair. Yeah. And now they're not. And you've seen the kind of, you know, the fact that it's now universally accepted by everyone in the village that Toby is a knob, isn't it? I mean, when they were talking, he said, Jesus Rex isn't coming. Toby's not coming. Is he? No, don't, don't worry. No, Toby. Oh, good. Fine. And you know, you're saying that to someone's brother, you'd kind of go, Oh, um, will he be coming as well? Oh, that's a shame. Oh, he can't come. But there's a thinking. Oh, thank God for that. But you know, to actually go, I'm not, basically, I'm not, I'm not coming if he, if that gets going, you know, and then his brother says, no, he's not going. Don't worry. It's fine. Just shows that it's sort of out of it. Toby's knobness. Toby's knob is out of the open. You know, it's kind of evident now that we've all looked at it. Let's face it. When wasn't it really? But if she gets together with Rex's fair brother, we will have a fair brother back at Brookfield, like when Grace was there. Peggy's going to hate it. Julie's going to hate it. Well, Jill's going to hate it. Yes. Oh, in that case, I think it should definitely happen. I am, I am team Rex now. Yes, because, because yes, it's, it's, it's the ancient curse returning, isn't it? Ha ha. Someone will burn to death. Oh, that reminds me. I was at that noise. I just, I was, I was listening over this week. And, um, my little boy came in and heard the grundies. And he said, Oh, are they pirates? And I said, what? This is the archers. And he said, well, they keep going. Ah, it was Joe Grundy. Oh, that's fantastic. I think they are, in a way, they are pirates. Oh, I'm brilliant. Yes. Yes. Brig, not brigadiers. What's the word? Brigons. Brigons and vagabonds. Yes. Hoorah. Hey, baby. I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs. Mercy. Greetings, Lucy. It's with her spoon and Angus. Hack is here. Sorry that Royfield isn't with us today. I wanted to point out to him that I am one white American male who grew up in the 70s who did not listen to Metallica or other heavy metal. There are actually a lot of us here in New York. We're called gay men. Okay. Onward. First, I asked this question about the storyline not to be named. Are the listeners being traumatized too much by the ongoing actions of he who must not be named? Last week was when I reached my breaking point and part of me wanted to turn off my iPhone. As Yoko Bear has done, in the last podcast, Royfield predicted that Rob would be with us for a long time to come. That might be true because the evil one has done such a good job of covering his tracks. And if he isn't cut out, I think more and more listeners will start turning off their radios, laptops, and iPhones. And regarding Blythe Spirits queries, I think I answered some of it last week and Lucy also addressed them. The evil one's primary concern is protecting his, note I didn't say their unborn child, and he is convinced that what he's doing is in the best interest of Ellen and his nuclear family. It doesn't stop him from acting in underhanded and manipulative ways. The evil one is more than a narcissist. To contrast, Kate is your friendly neighborhood narcissist, while he is a narcissist plus, the plus being a high functioning sociopath. I have to say a word about Jolene and Kenton. I did empathize with an exasperated Jolene when she ranted about temperamental chefs. I've seen this firsthand with handsome husband. In his ownership of what I'll say is an upscale and larger version of the bull. He's gone through many chefs, including one who was sacked when he and a young lady were caught doing the dirty on a dining table in an empty room of the establishment. But I quickly went from empathy to disapproval when Jolene announced she was hiring her ex-husband as chef. Clearly, wait for it now, a recipe for disaster. Next, I agree with Lucy's point about Kate and her family. Let's get out the retrospectoscope. If Brian and Debbie were interested in making a profitable investment in such a high risk venture, considering Kate's track record, they should have put more conditions on their loans and place more oversight on Kate to greater guarantee success. Well, as I've said, I hope they do follow Granny Peggy's lead. I'll close with a bit of advice for young Miss Pip. Stop complaining about a little distance between you and your Matthew. Handsome husband and I spent the first four years of our courtship commuting between London and New York. Just get on with it and make things work if you truly love the guy. Then one day you and Matthew may wind up with an addition to the family as cute as Angus Haggis. On that note, we'll sign off for this week. Hope you're having fun, Yoko Bear. Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs. Massive. Hello, dumpty-dum people everywhere. Dumpty-dum dogs and dumpty-mogs as well. Cosmo here. A special welcome to Yoko Bear in the hot seat this week. I hope you're enjoying it. I've just listened to Sunday through Wednesday and I suppose that I am most disappointed by the absence of Kate's voice from the area's various interactions. She keeps getting mentioned, but she hasn't actually allowed to speak for some reason. Clearly Toby only gave way over Pip because he knows Lost Cause when he sees one and more clearly still, Kirsty is the next in line for his attention. So I'm not at all sure about the views expressed recently that she would reunite with Tom in rescuing Helen. Oh sorry, I mentioned that storyline, apologies. I really cannot see that Rex is right for listening to Pip. A, he was embarrassed and B, it was nonsense. She would be talking to a girl. She ought to be talking to Fallon or Alice or somebody who might listen, but Pip so rarely interacts with any of the non-farming population and so she has no apparent friends. Poor character management by somebody in the management team. Having reviewed carefully what was said last week and then having to go back to listening again to the omnibus, I have had to come to the conclusion, contrary to my earlier views, that Justin would like to dust Lillian down with some flour spelt F-L-O-U-R to help her baking buns. I think I must have been wrong and that I thought he was only after her land, but perhaps he is after Lillian herself as well. Once she has made the buns, perhaps she can post them to Lucy to make up for the missing ones. Anyway, only 4 weeks to my next long holiday excursion, as I am off to Millie Bell and where I am sure I will have lots of fun and will be fast asleep when you record the 100th episode. Bye for now. Right, Cosmo wants to know whether or not you are happy in the hot seat and how hot is it exactly? Yes, I thought it was going to be very nerve-wracking, but I am very, very much enjoying it actually. The seat is rather warm. Well, that would be Andrew Horn and his hot bottom. That is that. It is still not called down yet. Cosmo, you said, Ruth and Pip ought to be talking to a girl. No, Rex wasn't embarrassed about talking about this stuff with Pip. He was just absolutely devastated because he had wanted to say, stop going out with that, you would go out with me. Yes, it is very sad. Poor role for Rex. I think also as well, sometimes, Pip strikes me as being, I think tomboy is two kind of, I don't know, pejorative a word, but I think she is one of those women that is actually really quite comfortable in that kind of male environment of home. I don't think Pip comes across as the kind of woman that would say, oh, I must go and talk to my girly friends about gurling. She hasn't gotten it, is she? Well, this is it. That is why he said it is cool, isn't it? All her friends are farming people. She doesn't have anybody who is more sophisticated. She doesn't have any, you know, when the girls all get together like Emma and Fallon and I know they're that bit older, but they never ever ask Pip. Yeah, no, that's true. And also as well, I mean, I've known women that remind me very much of Pip, who don't really make the kind of, who don't really have as many female friends. There's no kind of distinction. In fact, one friend of mine that was like this got married. And she was getting so short of, she was like, literally, I don't know any women that I'm really friends with, Mark. And I ended up being a bridesmaid at her wedding. What did you wear? Well, did she make you wear a horrible purple dress? Because all brides make the bridesmaid wear a horrible purple dress and they look better. For the big apricot. Yes, right. Lovely. But her rather religious and grandparents took Umbridge. Oh, I did. I did the whole kill thing. Okay, Hilton's jackets and all that thing. But I didn't wear anything under the kill stuff. You know, that was my little bit of rebellion. So yes, I've been a bridesmaid, but it was this this friend of mine very much reminds me of Pip would not think that, you know, if I'm going to tell somebody, I think about whether it should be a man or a woman that I tell this to, it would just be, there's a friend of mine. And therefore, I'll go and talk to them about it. Yeah. Oh, and thank you very much for the offer Cosmo, but I'm not sure I want one of Elaine's buns with faggot in it and smelling of gin, to be honest. Can you just say about Cosmo as well? Yeah. I have a picture in my head of Cosmo because again, he's going off on his travels again, isn't he? Yes. Is he wearing a solar topi in the picture in your head? Well, no, it's kind of white linen suits. Yeah, Panama hat, Panama hat and a cocktail on a yacht with the thing from the love boat playing. Yeah. That's the kind of life I'd like. Yeah. Should we do that when we grown up? Yeah, I don't think I'm going to grow up though. No, it's boring in it. Catherine Beijing's little girl is very cute and makes me wish that I was still five. Hello, it's Catherine Beijing here. I've hidden myself away from my marauding children. So if you can hear any shouting in the background, that'll be then wondering where I've gone to. I just wanted to pop a quick message to you because I know Yoko Bear is presenting this week and I wanted to wish him lots of luck. He's one of my favourite Twitters that I follow and I always like hearing what he's got to say on Duntydum. He makes me laugh and we often think the same way, but he says it in a much more witty and succinct way than I do. So break a leg, Yoko Bear. I hope you enjoy presenting this show. I just wanted really to talk about Henry. I know there was a big discussion about him last week on Duntydum and about how it's evident that he's never in the same room as his radio mum. And obviously that's understandable given the way it's recorded and child licensing laws and all of that sort of stuff. But I do worry about this poor little child. I mean, he does sound about two years younger than he actually is supposed to be. He is supposed to be five years old and at a primary school now. And I always know how old he is because he is in fact three days younger than my youngest child. So I can't help but directly compare them. And yeah, I do worry about him. I think I think that Rob's been gagging him in the bits that we don't hear and not letting him practice his talking. He seems to be the most zoned out, chilled out child in the history of the universe and yet Rob still shouts him and tells him to calm down. Anyway, by comparison, I decided I would set my youngest a challenge and I would ask her to speak on the subject of the archers for a minute if you could do it with with no deviation, no repetition, all of that stuff from just a minute. And this is this is how she did. The archer is on the radio and they have it like when it's on and it's not on the TV, it's on the radio and we only made a box, a very nice box. She said at the end, I don't know if you caught that, can we talk about pandas now, which is I think much more sensible for a five-year-old to be concerned with. Anyway, there was a little dance that went with the dum dum dum. I think I need to kind of coach her a little bit more in the theme too, but there you go. That's what my five-year-old sounds like, so you can compare the two. Okay, thanks very much. Bye. But yes, very, very good observation. Did she say Henry and I have made a nice box? Or did I imagine that maybe Wob has made Henry a nice box? That's probably more like it. But Catherine is absolutely right, I completely agree. Henry does not talk like a five-year-old. He talks like a three-year-old. And I've got a friend with a child the same age as Henry's supposed to be, and you can have an intelligent conversation with him about pretty much anything really, reasonable, you know. There's none of this. Yes, no, I like it, all that nonsense. So they need to sort that out a bit in such a sort of a detailed scenario that kind of lets it down a little bit, I think. I'd be honest, Henry freaks me out a little bit. Why? And it's because of the voice. It is a talking hoover, that's why. It's just, yeah, it's just the voice freaks me out a little bit, and I think you're right. I mean, Catherine's right. I don't think the voice is kind of right. I do have this kind of theory in my head that actually that's how Henry talks when he's in front of Rob will have. But when he's on his own, he's on the screen like this, every talks completely differently. And he's like 27-year-old. Yeah, it's my awful something. You know, one minute, he's like, you know, the hypic voice, and then he's on the phone to his mates going, so yeah, anyway, so she said to me. But yeah, no, I think so. I mean, I don't know. I've got an eight-year-old nephew, and I remember when he was five, he definitely didn't speak like that. No, I mean, I think I think they should be, you know, they'd be taking him to a speech therapist or something if he's speaking like that at five. It's just, you know, he's at school. They don't speak like toddlers when they're at school. No, and also as well these days. I mean, I don't know. I'm going to sound really old now. Kids grow up so fast. Oh, they do. But my nephew said the other week, and he's a bit of a clever one. He says like things to me. I said, well, would you stop doing that, Ollie? And he looks up at me, and he goes, what makes you think I'm going to do what you say? My God, I hope he doesn't try that with Rob. Oh, all he does is let's negotiate. No. And I just like, and then when I look at, think about Henry, it's just like, hold on, they're only about three years apart, and they talk totally differently. So yeah, Catherine, you're right. Yep. Now we've had two He-Mailarineras, Sean Brown, who said he was delighted to hear Brian channeling the full Basel-Folty, crass, crass, I'm not crass, while working at the unfinished year to the discarded Willow branch. And Rosie Taylor, I can't remember who which of us said before that Roy was a good father. I think the common consensus is that Roy is a good father, but she said Roy is not, in my opinion, a good father. He was so intent on getting into lizards knickers he neglected his children. He did not go to Abby's class play. He said, oh, the kids will get used to it when he was telling the perfidious Pargit Archer that he would leave poor patient Hailey. That's very true. I remember that. And he whined to phoebe that he wanted at home because the house is a mess. He is a tool, she says. Yes, don't pull any punches to your resume. I can't agree with that, actually. But then he was a man in, he was, he wasn't thinking with his brain, was he? He was thinking with his wookie hole. And he kind of, yeah, he just wasn't, he wasn't, it was not the behaviour of a rational person. I'm sure when he looks back on it, he'll think, God, what was I thinking? And he, but you know, people do that. They cut, they basically chuck my children on the funeral pie, I don't know, but in their effort to get to their loved one. Well, I mean, there's me sat there being all judgmental. I've got my judgmental judge cap on, and going, yes, Roy was terrible. And then I think back to my past and think, oh, yeah, I was a bit like that. I think sometimes, yeah, you do. I mean, the Roy and Elizabeth thing was really, really strange, but in retrospect, I think sometimes people meet people that they get a little, that they don't act, that they get a little bit obsessed by, not not in a kind of stalkery way, but it's kind of almost like everything else gets summed down. Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's, it's, you know, love is a mania. And it is, as I'm always banging on the bat, it love is a mania and what we, what we refer to as love, romantic love is a mania. And it is, you know, incredibly overpowering and overwhelming. And it is a form of, it's almost like a form of obsession, or an obsessive disorder in that your priorities go completely berserk. You lose all sense of, of, of, of, of order of priority of what's actually important to you, because nothing seems more important to you. Oh, I'll tell you what, Lucy, I'm so glad sometimes that my dance card is a bit empty of these days. It's just not with the hassle sometimes, is it? You know, all this love mania and what have you. But yeah, I think, I don't know, it swings around about with Roy, isn't it? He has been a bit of a dick in the past. And then he kind of comes good again. And no doubt he'll be a bit of a dick again in the future. Yeah. Well, I mean, if we've got to go through his mid-live crisis, he's got to do something stupid then, hasn't he? But he's got like another, another 15 years before he needs to do anything else, daft. He's done it. Oh god, I thought this, I thought, I thought 10th Plapsgate was what's the mid-live crisis? No, I think that was the, I shouldn't have got married so young crisis. I don't think he's rigged. I think it's 50 will be the next one. Well, that's something to look forward to, isn't it? Yes. Right. And that is the end of the course and emails. Okay. So, well, actually now I think I need to go and have a bit of a break and pen another heartbreaking message. 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The itinerary includes a trip to D'Nom, the local farmer's market, a visit to the mayor, a bake of another shenanigans. The cost is £110 and this includes your accommodation dinner and breakfast. Go to DumteyDum.com to book and to view the trip. For further info contact Jacqueline for your email, Jacqueline Dumbertho@yahoo.fr. It's the story of a cultural superpower that danced and sprinted its way to success. It brought the world reggae, calm power, rasters, hip hop, bob molly, much more. Its story is told to you in full colour for your podcasting years. It's the story of how Jamaica conquered the world. Search for it on iTunes, how Jamaica conquered the world. It's probably the best least known podcast and podcast on. Search for it today. 1914 June Sarajevo, the heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary, Archdupe Franz Ferdinand, assassinated, killed by a Serbian nationalist. About six weeks later, World War breaks out. Germany, Austria-Hungary, Russia, France. Everyone is drawn into its starting in August and then will America be drawn in? Listen to the first show exclusively on Mixcloud today and subscribe to us on iTunes beginning January the 18th. From Washington to Obama, 10 American presidents, The new podcast from Royfield Brown. Do you have a national trust sticker on your car? Do you think you could be best friends with Kath Kidson? Do you spend hours wandering around the airport looking for an organic quinoa cafe because you refuse to go to Burger King? Then Sarah Smith cloths offer you, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer. Proud sponsors of Dumpty Dum. I've just had a look at the Dumpty Dum shop. They've got no tracksuits but they do do t-shirts which are very flattering. Nice if you want to show off your figure a little bit. Nick couldn't carry one off of course but I can. Good day everyone. Lots to get through this week so I'm going to get straight into it. Very busy on our forum with lots of people pondering whether the end of Friday's episode demonstrated a change in Rob. Glenn Fullalov said possibly the most sinister thing I have ever heard on the radio, whether they've blown the arches. It did make me wonder whether this storyline is about to turn even darker. Other people such as Auntie Green, Auntie Jean, sorry, saying no no this is nothing's changing but a great debate nevertheless. The topics we covered this week included that last scene. Tilly has gone all global. Some meetups will Tom and Coors to get back together and some information not only on the charity but also the fair brother history. So if you're interested in becoming part of our discussion community, dumptydum.com go to the forums get involved and you can actually speak to people directly if you'd like to. On our Facebook page a lot happening we were talking about whether Justin had given Lillian a job offer and if so what the job title would be and some ideas were personal trainer when at Ambridge without the wife that was from Heidi Griffiths. Paul Green suggested that to get the understanding of her title we should check out the film Pretty Woman she keep all. Rachel Hannah said for some silver-tongued assistant must butter up locals in pretty dresses and heels and La Twazette said like sack emptying duties. Plenty more there where that came from. I also loved the line I think one of the favourite brethren said that mentioned North Yoko Shire which I'd never heard of and that really tickled me so I asked if anybody could tell me what I should see if I should go to North Yoko Shire and Sharon Robson said really Yoko Shire as in near Yoko Bear or up North as in Yorkshire. If North she's given some beautiful suggestions but I just love the idea that people are trying to actually make it into a place. I loved it. Valerie Bayless and Stone Hinge is Yoko Shire as is the lovely cathedral town of Salisbury so I think what's happening is people are claiming it as their own which I really loved. I love the loyalty. I asked the question did I miss the episode where Rob demonstrates that he likes his mother enough to invite her to stay for a week. Again great debate on that Guy Ladbrooke who likes to just put a bit I think says Rob can see that Helen is ill and her mother with limited abilities to function herself let alone maintain a pregnancy and care for Henry. It seems perfectly reasonable to agree to his mother coming to stay and help over half term. Any other few would be heartless in the extreme and that of course is what makes the role so clever in that you could see his position completely one way or you can see it as being very sinister. So guys right to draw our attention to that but many like Denise Tomlinson and Fiona Griffin say no that decision isn't even making any sense because we all know how he spoke about his mother last time. We also wondered why Rob is calling all the shots when Tom is actually his boss and we put up the post to the latest chambridge. Another little piece that I just wanted to draw your attention to and I'm not going to do this justice so you really need to join the Tim Watson appreciation group and read it for yourself but the idea had come up wouldn't it be great if they could get Tim Watson to record sat and have directions but as Rob suggestions were I told you the way to go but you wouldn't listen. Turn left at the next junction it's up to you of course. I think we all know you should have turned back there don't we? Should you be driving at all? You're going much too fast. Other people so that was Stuart Arendale other people joined in with that you have to put in the little hmm when you deviate from these instructions instead of the more usual recalculating. Wrong turn said Celia Collins should be badly done. Stuart Arendale also suggested I really think you should rest now. Carole Phillips and do you understand what obedience is don't you? Look you've got to jump on there and have have a look it is hilarious. And we're back so Lucy what are your top five hashtag artists tweets of the week. Voice of Ambridge said 160 year old Bert in the lambing shed he's just finished decorating Brookfield and now he's building a hen house let him retire. Poor old sod yes I do take that point. Ian Jones who said ah Bert's forgotten what Frieda sounded like. Do you know all the way home from work today I was trying to think of a Frieda joke because it was just like and I tell you the thing that um a word that's always used that and my mum said this to me this week said oh that Bert he's really spry isn't he? Bert spry. It's just and it's only a word that basically spry is a word that's used which what people when they say what they really mean is I can't believe they're still alive. It's kind of like old and wiring held together with bits of sellotape basically. Yeah absolutely and that's Bert and I think that's great I'm big Bert fan. Yeah I am too. With another Frieda gag for you now. This is from Rachel flighty Rachel who said if only Frieda was still here she'd have been on to Rob from the off although thinking about it she mightn't have told anyone. Oh I would never tire a silent character gags. And Jim Irving here isn't that this is a Bert Fry one. This is Jim Irving who said never mind the storyline that shall not be named Schuller's clumsy pass at Bert Fry was the painful listening today. But poor Schuller when she said no we don't really do Valentine's Day anymore. What is the point of being married to somebody you never see and you don't even do Valentine's Day and he just sits in the corner shouting what's paintings? It's just miserable. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Schuller which is very worrying. What do you think he's up to then? Oh no I don't believe I don't think it's more gambling it might be another woman and I think something's got to happen because there's got to be an issue where well my thing is that Docu Locky is going to go for Elizabeth and Schuller's going to go for Docu Locky and Schuller and Elizabeth are going to fall out over him because they were all in tradition that they always fell out over blokes. Oh that's true that's true. I will say that I was out there talking to God, Steve, for one one day and we commented on this about where is he? What's he doing? And then we both paused and we both looked at each other and this says more about us than it does about the show. We both pause we both look at each other and said dogging because he always seems to be driving off to a lay by somewhere there. So when he comes back with his sleeves rolled up and says that he's had his hand up something's backside. Schuller's presumably gets some sort of heifer and it may well not have been. Whereas it's something that we both do polite to mention. Yes, yes. Anyway, to each of the week you have to do the noise now. Very good. This is Skyzer who said did Bert Fry refer to the church services very fartful. One earth was in Zoe's pancakes. He did say fartful. Very fartful I thought. Oh I like that one. That's a good that's a good tweet. Well done. Well done. And that's the end of the tweets. Well thank you very much Lucy. So remember you can add articles to the Dunty Dun site. Comment on shows or message other listeners and call the winners directly if you sign up and log in to the Dunty Dun site. Which actually this terrible I haven't logged on for a long while. I better do that really, haven't I? You had really. And I just point out that Mr Yoko Bear since we've been doing this recording. Mr Roy Field has rut, I sound like Sooty. Hello Mr Roy. No Basil Bruth wasn't it? That Roy Field has a texted me to boss me around and has now gone in and changed the script while we've been talking the little bugger. Anyway, so it now says I'd written now the good news is that because Roy Field isn't on this and cannot stop me we don't have to do news of reviews and he has added which is a shame really because we have a lovely review from From Lighty by Juleb15 who wrote that she loves this podcast. She has been hooked since podcast number 23 and she loves the round of the week's events in average. Thank you very much Julee for listening. She ended by saying that she would be lost without this podcast. So keep up the good work Roy Field and Lucy. Yes we would be lost without the podcast. I don't know what to do without them to do them anymore. Listen to the arches be the only way. I'll be like Charlie up in Perthshire just watching Dawson's freak in the morning on repeat or something. I think he's probably still in a ditch outside Adam's house. Do you reckon? Yeah living there occasionally poking his head out and going I will go I'm going very shortly definitely going in a minute Adam. Well I should know that I really kind of I warned to Charlie I thought I quite like Charlie. I thought Charlie was a bit of a keeper in my view and also as well and this is where you're going to get tons of people phoning in and saying what the hell did he just say. I don't really like him that much. That's heresy. I just I just I never kind of and actually the fact that he married Adam annoyed me more than anything else because it was just like hold on a second you've just found out that your partner that you're going to marry has been unfaithful not once but twice. And it's just not going to say anything apart from hey maybe we should watch the affair together which is it just seemed a bit out of character now. I wouldn't mess with Ian simply because he's a sheriff he probably knows how to dice a pig in five seconds and he has access to knives. But he just seems really I don't know where's it going and they do reckon he's it's building up to some big revenge dumping do you think. But this is jealousy is it not on your part? Yeah let's be honest um yeah I did I don't know I think Adam and Charlie would have been good together but I've got to admit I think they probably would have been a bit boring together as well. But all they've talked about was bloody soil and profit margins and all that wouldn't they I mean at least Ian makes Adam vaguely human. Yeah you're probably right actually I just really like Charlie that's what it was. There's me having all this stuff about kind of and this is what is really going on here and actually it was just like yeah I don't want you to marry your Adam because I want to marry Charlie. Yeah yeah a little bit maybe. Also because what I felt is not here I am not reading out the size and cotton content of the t-shirts people have bought who are. But people should still go and buy stuff at the shop because it's great and wonderful and again I haven't done that for a while so Shane face yoke or bear will be on there with the credit card later. But if you want to help keep our show on the road there are two ways that this can be done. You can go to patreon.com/dumpededum and find us to support the show for two dollars or if you want to simply donate you can go to dumpededum.com and hit the donate button on the site. And remember to get into to get in contact you can send us a voice message via speak by or is that the type of speak on the site or call 0203 0203 031 3105 to leave a message or you can find dumpededum on twitter or tweet me @yokelebear. Me @looseyv freeman or Sarah Smith @Sarah_Smith. Can I just say as well yeah this is a message for Sarah Smith. My mum swears by your cloths. Does she want to be safe that yeah oh well send um go go to tweet Sarah your mum's address and she'll send us some. Oh I'm I will do she's my mum's a bit of a Linda Linda snail so the moment it said it posher washer it was just like my mum but that's me so yeah Sarah you've got a sale. And finally you can find us on the book of face where we are dumpededum and we're nearly at the thousand in fact we're at 959 like a circus and we want to get to a thousand by our hundredth show which is in four weeks time. And that's it the end we've finished. Yes yes that is just my podcast virginity it has gone. Did you enjoy it? I really enjoyed it it's been much fun. Did you feel nervous? I felt nervous to start with but then I just kind of just thought hey it's about it's talking about the archers and I pretty much do that most of the day anyway so we'll just go with it. Yeah it's been fun I've really enjoyed it. Good well it's been lovely to share the spare bed with you Yoko Bear. Yes once we finally got rid of that calendar. Yeah and the warm patch left by Andrew Horn and on that note. Shall we say bye bye? Bye bye everybody. Bye. There you go. Marvellous thank you so much that was brilliant. I did a podcast. I've gone too damn I can cross this off my bucket list and add it to your bucket list if it went wrong. I'm sure I'm sure Roy Phil will edit me kindly. Well he makes me sound acceptable every week so and sometimes that is a hell of a job so he's extremely talented. Yes right. Yes he. Kenny's family health care benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. With two kids he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's on the job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that too. That led to a bigger paycheck so he was able to get his youngest son a drum oh please drum set. Next up drum lessons learn more at about amazon.com Amazon every day better. So good. So good. So good. What's better than Black Friday deals? Rack Friday deals and Nordstrom Rack. That's right. For a limited time take an extra 40% off red tag clearance for everyone on your list. Save on Ugg, Vince, Free People and more. With an additional 40% off Nordstrom racks already reduced prices. We're talking amazing savings on your favorite brands. All sales final and restrictions apply so bring your gift list and your wish list to your nearest Nordstrom Rack today. Thank you. I'm really tough that you asked me. I really, this is very good today. It's lovely. Oh, good, good, good. [BLANK_AUDIO]

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