DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'
DTD - Episode 91 - The 65th anniversary
Another bout of exquisite commentary on our favourite radio fly on the wall document as our hosts return from their Christmas break.Following Lucy's entertaining exposition of the events in the last two weeks Roifield provides a diatribe (from Canada) on the content of the anniversary show - all agree the subject matter needed to be covered - but it was the wrong subject for the episode concerned especially given the promotion the episode was given by some mysterious marketing department seeking listeners as so many have been lost by a particular story.The recently published character appearance statistics are discussed and the transition to the next generation is under way with Pip being the second most heard person this year. More of the younger generation need to come to the fore in the next 12 months.Andrew Horn asks for the Kosmo view on the Brookfield changes. Kosmo thinks that spring calving is nonsense because of the spring lambing; birthing both at the same time is going to lead to some very tired and confused people. Kosmo also does not understand why you sell one herd and buy another - just change the dates you get the cows in the family way (next year Ruth can do it herself). Buying and selling cows and losing the hard won genetic traits (as well as a farmer's natural feeling for his herd) is a complete nonsense says a farmer's son. Sorry Ruth you really have not thought this one through, particularly if Pip goes travelling which all children do these days.The old character must be Arthur "Doughy" Hood, played by Arnold Ridley, who departed in the early sixties; he was a baker and sold out to Juniper Bakeries. Others a little later are John "Jack" Archer (Peggy's husband) who died in early 1972 and Lester Nicholson (Lilian's husband) who was killed off when the Canadians stopped taking the programme in 1970.I claim to be a "Doughy".Calls this week are from:Miss Mid City who is chuffed about ScruffScott Matthewman who runs a critical eye over Lynda’s productionsMaeve who agrees with YokelbearDjembe who wants a more cheerful yearMark Wilson who hated Calendar Girls Jo Jo Sexy Heels who predicts Titchynob’s demiseYokelbear who’s in a minoritySarah Hides who’s not hiding any moreAunty Jean who is a fruitcake about fruit cakeand Andrew Horn who thinks the editor’s tongue is in his cheek
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- Duration:
- 1h 32m
- Broadcast on:
- 05 Jan 2016
- Audio Format:
- other
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That's code LISTEN at bluenile.com for $50 off, bluenile.com code LISTEN. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. Hi, I'm Sarah Smith. If you're the type of person that goes to Liberty as other people would go on safari and the fact that John Lewis doesn't have a funeral service makes you threat, Sarah "Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dumpty Dum de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de very mental just to learn. There's no point silly shallying about it you see. Fantastic. So how is Canada land? Yeah good cold. Yes. Funnily enough, you know, January in Canada is cold, it's minus ten to three. You know, it's yeah, it forces one to have purpose as soon as one gets outdoors. Does this weather? But yes, good. Right. I'm all excited. Why? Because this is dum-dum-dum for the show, by the fact that the ducky drummer that has centred on ambridge in the heart of the Midlands on the sparkling 65th anniversary that is Royfield Brown and with me have the damp squid written by the agricultural editor that is. Lucy Freeman. That's harsh. That's a bit harsh. Well, it's very harsh considering you just called it a damp squid and I wrote squid. Okay. Goodness for editing. And with me, I have the damp squid that, oh god, let's just forget it. That was being done. Right. Get your wagon. And the last part of our archery celebration, folks, is you. Now, today's dum-dum is from Alex, son of Andrew Horn, age six, another member of the dum-dum diddles. It's Alex's age six, not Andrew. I hate to hasten to add. Didn't I say Alex? No, the way I'd written it sounded like is from Alex, son of Andrew Horn, age six. Well, we've cleared that up now. Yes, we have. Smashing. Well done, sir. It was very good. It was. Like, horn, horn, minor, horns, minor and major. Oh, that's quite clever. You're on form today, Lucy. And we've only just started. But, loose. Yes. Can you in mind our growing band of listeners around planet Earth, how they can win the accolade of dum-d-dum-d of the week? Yes, if you would like to sing us a dum-t-dum, give us a plot prediction or become hysterically excited at the prospect of changing cows. Then ring us on 02030313 or leave us a message on Speakpipe, which may or may not be working according to whim and the direction of the wind. Thanks to lovely chambrages for her amazing voices, to Cosmo for his podcast round-ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Thanks also to Derek. He wishes you all happy new year. He's making a positive start for 2016 and he's doing lots of sort of new ventures. He's joined a creative writing class. The first one didn't go massively well, to be honest, because he assaulted his lecturer because all the poor man said was that he felt Derek was a bit of a bull's-act. On this week's episode, we have calls galore. I tell you what, everyone was storing stuff up, weren't they? And now those call-a-ring-a-ra-dams have been birthed. Miss Mid City's chuffed about scruff. Scott Matthewman, who runs a critical eye over Linda's production, is Maeve. Oh, I love me some Maeve, who agrees with the yolk-or-bear, Gembe, who wants a more cheerful year. Mark Wilson, who hated calendar girls, Joe Joe, sexy hills who predicts teaching obviously, might as a yolk-or-bear, who's in a minority. Sarah hides, who's not hiding anymore. She's out. This is the first time call-a-ring-a-ra. Artie Jean, who's a fruitcake about fruitcake. And Andrew Horne, who thinks the editor's tongue, is firmly in his cheek. 50 years ago, that would have been outlawed in illegal, wouldn't it? Tongues in cheeks. But first, before all of that, it's Lucy V Freeman and her two thousand and six first week, it, Ambridge. 'Twas Christmas Eve and not a creature were stirring. Not even a mangy thing that had been living out of bins for months. No, not Ben and Josh. But scruff, scruff, staggered over to Shea Snell, having lived off the remaining half of Stefan's pelvis and bridge farm cheese for the last six months. Linda welcomed him with open arms, feng shweight him, and gave him a homeopathic cure for farmers lung. It's like he's never been gone. The high point for the rest of the village was calendar girls, except Hailey, who was obviously not overjoyed at the prospect of watching her ex-husband actually do with Elizabeth Pardierdron stage what she'd only imagined him doing while weeping on her tear-stained poly-cotton pillowcase. Well, they're easier to iron. So she didn't go to calendar girls, but the rest of the village did. And surprise, sir, sodding prize, it all went very well. They seemed to cope with Gene Harvey by beating her up subtly on stage. Their fear was that she would upstage them, a mute woman. Susan caught Neil with his hand in crusty's knickers, there was a conspiracy to fiddle with Gene Harvey's knitting, and the whole thing went on and on. Matthew and Pip seemed to be getting on jolly well, with slightly less of the usual coy ickiness that accompanies Pip's relationships. So inevitably something is going to happen that he's going to necessitate Matthew hanging around the village like some damp bunting until a job is miraculously found for him. David decided he was going to get out of dairy, so Pip decided she would find a new job being a freelance agricultural rep, offering health care for cattle or something. To be honest, I just sat with my mouth open, gawping like a moron throughout this whole brookers bit, as I didn't have a clue what was going on. Ruth's come home, has decided she doesn't like the cows they have already, and wants to swap them for some nicer looking cows that like being milked to the petrol station. Is that it? Don't write in, because I don't bloody care. I was all keyed up for Ruth to announce that she was leaving to become a wig maker at the Royal Ballet or something, but it just turned out she said, "Yes, David, you are a massive bellender and you didn't even tell me you'd brought me in your arm when you knew that the one thing I was really cross about was that you didn't tell me things, but you know I'm here now, so we might as well crack on with it." Anyway, it sent Hootie Jill into a positive delirium, and she galloped around the village with her full corn, waving a fruitcake, and telling everyone, even though for some reason, it was apparently supposed to be a secret. And Pip seems to have a new job selling Welsh shoes. I didn't know the Welsh went for a particular style of shoe, but there we go. What do I know? Maybe those black boots that they wear with the pointy witches hat. Things with docky, locky, and Elizabeth are trundling on a pace with them comparing notes on how to handle their teenage children. Here's a couple of handy hints. One, do not have an affair with a nanny's husband right in front of them. Two. Well, that's kind of it, really. Sheila is going to be cross-eyed with fury when she finds out which makes it all the happier. Elizabeth then went on to hold a ball in the orangery, not for the first time. Barrow Farm has gone arse up, and he's losing the gross national income of Brazil every week, so Justin has pulled the plug. Brian and Jenny Darling had an anxious conversation about it, which was hilarious as they are both such gigantic hypocrites. Brian was given the boot by Justin Elliott, and Jenny Darling orchestrated an entire campaign to prevent him passing his dastardly plans. But then what happens? "Oh yes, we hate Justin," they say. "Boo to Justin, what a horrible man." "Oh look, there he is, yahoo, Justin, confident at Justin, shiny shoes, Justin, just pop your trousers down, Justin." Justin had spent Christmas at gay greyballs enjoying the fruits of Ian's hard work. He did wonder why all the carrots took that little tiny figures of a Ukrainian strawberry picker with knife marks all round the neck, though. "I bet Jennifer lays on a good Christmas dinner," said Justin. "You don't want to Christmas dinner that someone's laid on." "Yes, you made a hell of a mess, two glasses of Pinot," and she passed out in the stuffing. So, what did we learn over the Christmas period? We learned that room 102 are leaving at one o'clock, that Ambridge really needs some more young single women to prevent Pip getting unrealistic ideas about her desirability, and that according to Joe, 94, 2016 is going to be the year of the Grumdies. God help us, everyone. The end! Ha ha! I forgot the end. Oh, that's quite good. I enjoyed it this year. Well, do you know what? Do you know how old I am? You're 40. I don't, am I allowed to say? Yeah. Because you get quite cross about it. No, you're 45 on you. Well, God, I wish I was. 47. How you? Oh, nearly at your half-century mate. I know. And do you know why I know that? Well, because it's your birthday. And because the day the telegraph told me. That it was your, what are you talking about? I'm about to tell you. All right. All right, I was exercised and I was miffed about this bloody 65th anniversary show. Right. So, some journal person says, "Mr Brown, would you like to comment on the anniversary show?" And, and I would, and then there it was in print. I feel brown age 47. Now, what's my age got to do with anything? Because they like to kind of, um, uh, put you in a category, don't they? As, as, as you are, they think you are stereotypical archers listener. But you're not. Because as we know, there is no such thing as a stereotypical answer to us. In fact, the only thing I've found that seems to be a running thread of our listeners amongst the men anyway is that, sorry, someone's, they switch their, their phones off when they're unimportant. Yes, I'm sorry. Yes. Um, uh, is, uh, that they like Formula One and the archers. Loads of our listeners like Formula One. Yeah, but that's the point. It's not just you. Loads of them do. What on earth is the correlation between four? Oh, hang on. Yes. Something that just goes round and round and round in circles endlessly. You can kind of see the connection really going. Very true. Very true. Should we address the elephant in the room? It's a 65th episode, you mean? Yes. What were your thoughts, Mr Brown? Right. Now. Yes. I didn't know you were quoted in Telegraph. Yeah, man. National press. Now, I said, I had tweeted too much talk about business of farming, the colour of cows and yields have no place in an anniversary show. And I stand by that. And I did put hashtag should have killed Rob. Now that was not true. They shouldn't have killed Rob. And we shouldn't have had some big massive. Everyone should kill Rob as often as possible. Well, you can only kill somebody once. No, they should bring him back to life, and you can have a series of near-death experiences and get weaker and weaker and weaker until he finally dies. It's only like God has diva now. Sorry, I'm pouring out my water. You cross between God has diva and a very black book. So he's going to do a zombie, zombie archerous thing. But you can never tell the difference. Well, I felt short-changed because we've been led in the last year to believe that Ruth and David's marriage was in mortal danger. Now, we had the abortive move to Hadley-Hock. But you were the one saying all the way through. No, they won't. Exactly. So why do you feel short-changed then? Because I was supposed to have felt that their marriage was in mortal danger. You know, we've been led a massive, a massive garden path, which took us all the way to Prudhah and back via the service stations in Nottingham, and then Auckland in New Zealand to think that Ruth was about to say, "I'm jacking it all in." And I've said very clearly they're not because they are the moral center of the whole bloody show. So it was just ridiculous. However, we had this move to Hadley-Hock, which we all knew was never going to happen. And then we had Ruth's strop with the fact that David unilaterally made this decision to stop. Then we had Ruth having all this time away from the farm to be with a mother in Prudhah. And we had David and Pip that were left there to make decisions sounds Ruth understandable. And that was the one bit of this, which I thought was actually well-written, and that you understood from both perspectives. You understood that Ruth's saying you're doing things without me, and you completely understand the practical reasons why David and Pip did get on and do things. And I thought that was really well-written. But then you had this ridiculous, "I'm flouncing off to New Zealand," of which we all know in soap terms, anywhere which is the other side of the planet in the colonies, is somewhat of a death knell for a character, or at least some massive change of direction then happens. You know, somebody goes off to New Zealand in soap terms, or Canada, or Ulam battle, or wherever the heck it is, you're not supposed to hear of them for six months, you know, Alatom, Alatom, whatever character in EastEnders. So yet again, another kind of red herring. So we were really supposed to believe that Ruth was going to come back if she came back at all, and you know, marriage is going to be off. But we know that's never, ever, ever going to happen. And going back into the history of Ruth and David, in terms of their marriage bumps, in which there have been a few, I can't remember the absolute nuance of her and her affair with Sam. But that was incredibly believable in terms of David forgetting the passion. And that's what happens in marriage, in long-term relationships. And then somebody new comes onto the scene, and they're a shoulder for you to cry on, and one thing leads to another. And I thought that was not only done with understanding and compassion, in terms of you still believed it was Ruth, it was still Ruth Archer. It made sense what happened, how it happened, and then the fact that it was the mundane nature of, I can't remember whether she rings David from the service station. He says, I'm just putting the tea on, that was the, you know, the bucket of cold water, which she's throwing over, and she says, I cannot go and ruin my marriage. Now, were we supposed to believe that Ruth Archer took herself off to New Zealand? Okay, now we've spoken about this before in terms of people deal with grief in different ways. So she took herself off to New Zealand, granted, right? Are we really led to believe that she wouldn't ring Skype, FaceTime her kids on Christmas Day? Yeah. That for me. Do we know that she definitely didn't? Well, because Pete didn't know what the heck was going on, did she? Pete was getting all of her information via her father. Now, that completely and utterly unbelievable, and if we needed any proof that she was going to come back, it was actually that. If she was speaking to the kids, and then they were saying, oh, dad wants to say, I love you, she was, now, you're all right. Then, with our things to worry about, or more to the point, all those legions of arches fans who, you know, despise the character Ruth, would be singing and dancing. Yeah. So these, yeah, it was a very contrived little set up. It was incredibly contrived. So that, for me, is the reason why this episode fundamentally fell flat, because I knew she was going to wake up and go, okay, so we are back to normal. Now, I take the point, though, that if you are attuned to the detail of farming, this is all different, and I get that. But let's be quite honest about it. 75% of us tune into this. And then when they talk about farming, all we hear is, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. And we don't understand it. And I had to listen to that show three times to actually really understand what she was saying. And now I get it. It's not massively dissimilar to Adam in terms of they're going back to the past, you know, in the future. I'm going to do things much more simple. It made sense. And if you are a proper rule type person or a farmer, you know, maybe he's earth shattering. Maybe it is. But if you've got a PR department that is cranking things up saying things will never be the same, the force will leave the arse, whatever nonsense, right? You are expecting to, it's cool. You know, people, people sat down, asked, cheeks clenched before tuning in listening to that show, think to your tights with worry. Is that your said, Royfield Brown, in the telegraph? Specters were tight with worry. And then you get, we're changing the colour of the cows. And you go, what? Well, I was waiting for the and, I hope that I thought, oh, there isn't one. Oh, that was it. And then when it said, written by the agricultural story editor, I thought a big partner and played it again, written by the agricultural story editor and thought, yes. I know that this poor agricultural script editor, he hardly ever gets his or her time to shine for a whole episode. So in terms of detailing the problems that modern British dairy farms are having and possible solutions, hats off, right? It should not have been played out on a 65th anniversary show. That's my issue with it, right? They can change the cows all they want a Brookfield. Don't do it on the 65th anniversary show. And then have your PR department cranked things up and said things will never be the same again. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Did they really say that? They did. They did. And that's the reason why people got upset now. So just to be clear, was it a well-written episode? Probably. Yeah. Are things changing kinder, right? Not so as you'd noticed. Exactly. Exactly. And that was my problem with it. Did I like, because I'm an old fart and I'm a sentimentalist, did I like the Dan, Doris, Jill, Phil, you and me? I love that. Paper Matthew. Yeah, and it's going to be Paper Matthew. And I absolutely love that. I love that. Yeah. But the end was a little bit saccharine, but I think 65th. Yeah. But just the builder. Come on. I think that's what a nonsense to get to this. I think with a no, Andrew Horn and Yokel Bear both said the same thing. They said it was kind of it in itself. It was fine. But what went wrong for them was that they'd sort of positioned it as the who shot JR moment and really it wasn't really, really, really it wasn't. Yeah. If there hadn't been this PR drum roll before that, I think it would have been fine to be honest with you, but you can't have all of that. But then, you know, they killed Nigel and everyone went, oh, you don't always have to kill someone when it's you go, and we'd be moaning all year about all the drama. So they deliberately then give us, you know, essentially paint drying and we still moan. So the PR department just said, the arc just returns, full stop. That was a VR release. And then that show came out again. Yeah. Yeah. Rockfield goes full circle or something. Yeah. Yeah. End of. Yeah. Anyway. She's encouraged now. I do. I do. I do. And thank you. Telegraph has said that was 47. So. Anyway, you had a good Christmas. I thought you were 40. Are you not 47 then? I am. Well, then, why are you thanking them for just for telling everyone that you are? Exactly. We don't look at that. You look about 28. You're saying the young looking. Yes. Especially on the podcast. Anyway, I am looking more haggard by the minute. It's like the picture of Dorian Gray. You're getting younger. I'm Benjamin, but then you're Dorian Gray. I'm Turling into Molly Sugden by the minute. Well, you know what they say? Black don't crack. Yeah. That's what it is. Now, good Christmas. People go to listen. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Any New Year's resolutions? I want to learn some magic tricks. Well, I'm going to learn a new magic trick every week card trick. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Well, it's only awesome if I actually do it. And I'm giving up hand gliding again. I did quite well last year, but not well enough. At hand gliding? Yeah, I'm joking. I've never handled. I've never handled it in my life. Handglud. Handglud. There's a lot of those people jumping out of aeroplanes or sorry, like gliders with those kind of flying squirrel. They're amazing, aren't they? Yep, they are. They absolutely are. I love terrifying myself watching their GoPro things when you watch it from their perspective. Oh. Yeah. And there's this one which I saw last week. And I'd know there's maybe about 20 just one afternoon. I'll just jump out of this glider thingy. But if you actually look, one of them is crumpled in a heap on the ground. Really? Yeah. Go back and have a look or I'll ping the link, you know. And yeah. And I know that a lot of people get severely mashed doing that thing, but it does not look exciting. It looks so exciting. If I did it, I would be flying along in a squirrel soup full of poo. I think I think I would completely lose bowel control. And it would just be awful. I would have to be pushed though. There's no way. There's no way that my survival instinct would shut up for long enough to make me to allow me to deliberately do something that would, you know, that could kill me. So I just wouldn't do it. So they'd have to actually hurt me out, I think. Could you do the could you do that? Could you? Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever done a brave thing before podcast with you? Yeah. But you get paid extra for doing this, don't you? Danger. But you know what I quite liked about what you just said? What? There was a link between me and my tight sphincter. And then you would lose one. And a soup full of poo. My squirrel soup full of poo. We should have some, listen, of course, listen. Yes, it should. If only to stop us talking about squirrel suits. Hello, ambridge 3962. First up, we have Gembe from Australia, who wants a more positive year in Ambridge. Hi, everyone. It's Gembe from the Dundee Diddles clan. And I wanted to say hope everyone has a very happy new year. And I really do hope that the storyline becomes a lot more cheerful and happy. And in the calendar girls episode, I do think that Linda did need to come down a tiny bit. Thanks. Bye. I think Gembe is going to get her wish because if you look back at the how long Sean been doing this, Mr O'Connor, two years, 18 months, something like that. And what we've had is actually a return back to, in terms of the set up anyway, in terms of the characters. And we mentioned this before. So we have the February of the family back. We have Carroll to Gorham back. We have a simpler way of farming at Brookfield. We have the end of Barrow Farm, etc. So I think we are set fair. Yeah, there you go. Set fair. Set fair. There you go. Set fair for a kinder, gentler year of Ambridge. So I think, Gembe, you could well get your wish. What do you reckon? Um, yes. I don't know what he's doing. It feels like he's got slightly more of a plan now than he had before, because before I just got the impression he was, he hadn't quite decided he just wanted to change things, but he hadn't quite decided why he was changing them or where they were going to end up. But it kind of feels like he has slightly more of one now. But my own feeling is, and I am, this is not based on any inside knowledge whatsoever. So God knows no one ever talks to us. But I think he is putting things in a position to hand them over. I think he's not going to be around for very much longer. Well, only time will tell. Only time will tell. But it's like he's leaving things in good order. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know. That's just the impression that I get, but I don't know. But I am so glad that the Grundy's had a nice Christmas. It's lovely. You know what? Even that, right? Just to go back to what we're saying before about the, the PR department cranking things up. All this Joe foreshadowing. Again, we were led to believe, or at least he was dusting off her black coat. She was convinced that he was, you know. Again, all these deliberate kind of red herrings. Old Joe's going to die. He's going to die, you know, homeless in some squat or whatever the heck it was, some dossages squat in a fell for Sherman. Then no, he's going to, at least he's going to be back at these ancestral farm pile to die in his chair and, you know, he's like, stop, just stop, stop, stop. Yeah. We know for a fact, with the exception of Jack Woolley, older characters are never bumped off on the arches. They die naturally. They fade out slightly in terms of their amount of appearances on the show, and then they're allowed to die naturally. So Joe, you know, nobody's ever going to write Joe Grundy dying. You heard it here first. Yeah. Yeah. His farm as long will get a little bit worse than then he'll say he was ever so quiet, and then he might pop into the laurels, and that'll be that. Exactly. Hi there, Dunty Dumber. This is Joe Joe Sexy Hills here. Many thanks to Roy Field and Lucy for a magnificent 2015 of podcasts at such a joy Mondays and Tuesdays when most podcasts come out. I've absolutely made my year make me smile every week. You've created a community of caring, funny, quirky Dunty Dumbers, and I'm proud to be one of them. My highlights of the year include the persistent earworm of herbal lay. Peggy, also 94, but never usually mentioned, becoming ever more bitchy, especially around anti-cart boards in adequate cooking skills. Kate's housewarming party with the bongs and Brian in full pompous flow was brilliant. Another highlight was the demise of Heverpat. The regular chilly nights in the Carter household, they've become a bit of a revelation this year. The Tweeterongs have been amazing, and for me it's always on a Sunday morning, and the development of the imaginative play-mabill characters in the plachers, a joy, absolute joy. I've enjoyed the missing Squat Story line, including the dead dog in the silage clamp. Yeah, I was heartbroken at that point, and Scott's miraculous return once Lindy and Robert had returned to Ambridge Hall. The image of him skulking in the bushes for eight months waiting for the lights to come on and talk tears to my eyes. The November Dunty Dun gathering when I met Graham Seed, oh what a joy I posted the picture of myself with Graham, and I think I got the most retweets on that one and any that I've ever done. Special thanks to the god that is Kerry Davis for the Grundy's happy Christmas storyline, and the image of Joe aged 94 backed by the angle look in an old battered chair with a glass of cider was wonderful. Jojo Sexy Hills gave us her highlights of the year. What are your highlights of the year, Mr B? Mine was Johnny's swerve bowling against Darren's. Quite like that. Then they were then they were then they were closely followed by the ridiculous as somebody pointed out. So I can't take credit on this. Did Rob edge the ball gate and the fact that apparently Helen has on a iPhone camera the fact that he did edge it, though Tony who was what 12 yards away couldn't see and nobody asked her but she was like 100 yards away and spotted it on her iPhone. Those were my two highlights of the year. All I've got to say about this teaching of thing is enough. Just please please enough. He's a great character, we've said it before in an he's an amazing actor, but come on. Just just please come on now. And maybe this wasn't the PR department. Maybe this was just us listeners us fans thinking right Christmas is coming. Mr O'Connor came from EastEnders or something big always happens at Christmas. So it's going to be Rob Rob's going to get these come up on us. But we do need this to be this stood on to be pushed out of the door. We do. Or at least the next phase of it needs to happen. You know the phase where everybody knows he's a ship bag and then they deal with the aftermath of him being outed as a ship bag. But this he is great from the outside or at least many people still believing that he is some upstanding father and husband and then Helen's anguish that phase needs to be put to bed. Yeah I think one of my highlights was genuinely scruff coming back because like like all English people I'm not at all bothered about the death of a person in a drama. But if he'd kill an animal I hate you forever. And yeah I hated that. I felt so sorry for scruff and for Linda and everything and I was very very glad when scruff came back. And I've actually really enjoyed the relationship between Jenny and Brian this year. Brian settling into he's sort of he's kind of lost his touch a bit hasn't he as the lethario. Although I'm sure he doesn't think he has but and he's kind of moved into this grumpy grandfather figure who has to put up with Lillian and Kate and Jenny. Oh darlie all this stuff you know and Lillian moving in with them and Jenny's hysteria about going to Oxford and and Brian's losing patience with it and I really like the way he escapes all the time he nicks off to the ball or escapes into his study or you know it's just very as sort of a man heading towards retirement and sort of a woman who's still very much in the heart of the family and and wanting to control everything that's going on. I think they've the interplay between them I've really really like this year. I think you're right and again a current theme is the fact that Brookfield is the center of the whole show but because they are this solid couple they're actually very boring even when they've had the year that they've had we complain and say that they're actually quite boring contrast that to Brian and Jenny. The brilliant. Never a done bloody moment. Well I think that part of that is Kate though isn't it because Kate's just she brings drama with her every time she walks through the door. She's done something stupid or she's you know but Lucy but Lucy have you seen one minute let me just get to this. You don't know if you're seeing the picture of her again are you? No no no no no no no. I know you like staring at it. Character statistics I do I do. She's a fine looking young lady. Now Mike Hatton now he has got 61 human beings have liked his page of the characteristics but me teeth in for 2015. Yeah okay yeah now many things are revealed on this and who's which character has appeared in the most episodes. There's approximately 300 in the year he's he's appeared in the most. David. Absolutely number two guess. Oh a bit of a surprise this. Jenny. Pip. Oh oh yeah. Now three and four is Helen and Rob right okay. Now you said that Jenny and Brian you know their humor comes from Kate. Yeah Kate Matakani only was in 43 episodes like 18 exactly so she made her presents built in every one didn't she? She hasn't been in it for the last two three months actually. No but maybe they're always talking about her. You know like they were Andrew Adams saying oh she wants me to build these these yurts and the yurts have been delivered all that she doesn't even have to be there for her still to be a sort of the fulcrum around all around a lot of the drama that happens for that family and Lillian between Kate and Lillian. But this started let's say this new phase of Brian and Jenny being this slight comic act you know it's not belly laughed. It started with the kitchen didn't it? Exactly. It started with her super duper kitchen and the hot boiling soft water. It was so interesting it was when Brian transferred his sort of sensual interest in life from sex to food there was a very profound shift that I can only assume goes along with the prostate in some way and he became obsessed with gravy rather than gentlemen gravy and yes that's all he wanted to talk about and that was why the kitchen thing so upsetting in the days of shagging Chivorne he wouldn't have wouldn't have battered Nylie whether the kitchen was going or not because he sort of didn't really care about what he was eating or anything as long as she put on a good show for the for the shoot you know. Listen your spot on the only other thing I'd add to that is the fact that when Annabel Shrivener that kind of watches the life you know Borges the life and the BL board sorry it is Borges the life isn't it? No Borges the land Borges the land. Yeah yeah it's the magazine it's the yeah so Annabel Shrivener and the coup d'état there on the board and he's focused solely really becoming you know all things kind of on the farm yeah and he's just become a revelation yeah you always was a brilliant character but yeah we didn't realize the comic turns yeah so yeah love him and I would like to apologize to the world at large for using the phrase "gentleman gravy" anyway um hello dumpty dum hello everybody it's Mae here from um also known as in the big press just wanted to wish everybody a very happy new year and hope you all have a nice Christmas. I've been listening sort of on and off over the last couple of months for various reasons and um and I do have to say that on uh twitter picking up on uh Yoko Burr's open letter to uh the archer's editor and yeah I kind of agree I think the whole storyline of Helen and Rob as really important as the day is but it kind of is hanging like a really dark cloud over every episode really and I'm kind of haven't listened because I'm kind of don't really want to have the stress of thinking oh my goodness will there be back will there be another horrible experience for poor old Helen so yeah come on we need some kind of resolution to this a believable one because I have to say that you know the characters and again what's been said on twitter hat who I've always I've always regarded her as a bit of a kind of a bit wet and a bit kind of lefty and liberal and all that kind of stuff but actually a real feminist and somebody who stands up for women and particularly for her daughter so I just don't get and it doesn't ring true this whole kind of uh lovey approach that she has with Rob um that she has chosen to ignore her daughter's distress clear distress as any mother would pick up on so um so yeah so one another reason for not really listening very much is because I can't tell who to bloody hell anybody is anymore the vicar sounds like the doctor the doctor sounds like the vicar it's kind of a Toby Wrecks Charlie all that kind of stuff I really am losing the world to live when I listen in and so I don't really and sometimes just click on the synopsis or sometimes I just follow on Twitter which is far more entertaining so I love to you Lucy and a new royal field and have a super new year and see you on the other side poor Maeve as gonna have to stop listening because she can't tell who anyone is anymore she says she's very confused someone else rang in Mark Wilson rang in and said how come how come the doctor sounds like the vicar um and Maeve gets muddled up between the doctor the vicar the fair brothers between them um Charlie and Tom and everybody so she's just given up and is now reading the readying the synopsis instead I'm listening to us in an effort to figure out what the hell is going on but also she finds the storyline that shall not be named too upsetting to listen to so she'd rather just wait till it's all over and then she'll come back and listen to it properly you know I loved about Maeve's call but didn't she sound well she did she did she did actually did hello dumpty dum happy christmas very happy new year to everybody it's got here Scott m on Twitter and I'll just before I start what I wanted to talk about just wanted to say belated thank you to royal field in Lucy for organizing the dinner with Graham seed and hello to everybody said hello to you then and sorry I haven't called in before now um but right back on to what I actually wanted to talk about um I should say that one of the things that I do as part of my evening job is review theater I am the Tristram hawkshaw of London Fringe Theatre and so I really wanted to voice my frustration at both Blind Spirit last year and calendar girls this year two very well produced pieces of radio drama I think they were performed really well I think they were adapted for radio very well particularly because both pieces actually have quite visual elements but the one thing that I found most frustrating listening to them was that it was clearly not the characters of Ambridge playing roles in Atlanta production it was professional actors whose voices we know throughout the year playing new characters and I know it's a subtle distinction and I know it's a bit childish to complain about it too much because we do offer or get a couple of nice plays at Christmas that with actors who quite frankly have voices distinctive enough that they very rarely get the chance to do any radio outside their traditional Ambridge roles but it just feels like it's a real strain and it takes me out of those particular plays a little bit too much and I do wonder if this is going to become an annual thing whether it would actually be better rather than producing something in the studio as a crafted radio drama whether they actually record something with a live audience so at least you've got that ambiance that a production that Linda Snell would be making would actually have and it would be nice actually just be able to maybe it's like I know BBC tickets tend to give away tickets for free but maybe they could put a charity donation on the door or something so you could actually raise money for good causes by having arches fans come and enjoy seeing the characters that they know and love playing characters playing a role and for me that would make a much better Christmas production that we could all enjoy that's it really um I know it's a little thing to be annoyed about it really isn't it but well what else is done to be done for if not being annoyed at really little things okay cheers speeches all soon very much looking forward to it and uh thank you now who knew that Scott Matthew Munn was a theatre critic Scott Matthew Munn is our very own Tristan Hawkeshaw um he says why could they not do uh but he was talking about Blind Spirit last year in calendar girls this year yes why could they not do them why could radio for not actually do them as self-contained radio dramas with a live audience because it says and that's a great idea I think it's a great idea I don't know how they do it because obviously they're they're gonna need to edit they'd have to they can't be doing a live run through because they'd still be on the book wouldn't they um but I think that what we ended up with when they did I think but I think they were both very good productions but um they were kind of neither one thing nor the other really it wasn't Lillian in calendar girls it was Sonny Ormond in calendar girls but we as archers listeners were listening to it thinking we need a bit of Lillian to make this to give this an edge uh and obviously she can't do that so because they don't want to put off people that don't listen to the archers but just want to listen to it as a self-contained drama so yes it ended up being trying to be what are you doing what's that clicky noise oh sorry I'm looking at uh Twitter should be listening I am um can do two things at once you know no you can barely do one thing at once um but yeah I think it was it ended up being not correct at all it ended up being being neither one thing nor the other did you listen to both of them um I listened to Blies spirit last year and I think I was in Canada land again then when I when I listened to that and then when I was in San Francisco then I saw the play and it was really good to compare and contrast I think I haven't listened to calendar girls I haven't I started and I didn't finish not because I thought it was bad something happened I don't know I mean mum came in with them with a mince pie and said you know speak to your auntie Pearl or something for another um and I just haven't got back to it in terms of potential marketing for the archers it's a genius move but they don't make that specific link do they actually when they run the show and as you've just said and other people have said before also what they don't do is it isn't as you said it isn't Linda Snell playing a role it isn't um Jenny or or whoever or Susan shall we say it is definitely a professional actor and the voices change and you don't necessarily know who half of the characters actually are there is no real link back to the archers and and because of that you feel somewhat short change and then also because this thing is going out for broadcast it's well done in inverted commas because it could because it's edited it's not an amateur production it's not an amdram production where occasionally someone will forget their lines and then you hear the person off stage whispering them to them and and whatever and you know and the little titas and gefours so in terms of you know the potential of it is great we're going to throw this drama around every Christmas to people that don't listen to the archers and loosely say the you know the characters in the archers are doing this and it might create some extra listeners but that doesn't actually work in that respect and if you listen to the archers um it's not an amateur production it is a full slick BBC production so I don't feel that I've missed anything by not listening to it and dare I say it again um if ever a production should be either on iMac cinema or at least on tv it's going to be calendar games you know and that is definitely one drama which is last is denuded by being on the radio happy new year everybody from miss mid city and I'm still in the festive mood feeling very jolly and cheerful because graph is back yay and a little bit worried at the same time because he didn't sound like a very well doggy I only hope that his reunion with his family is is not a short-lived one um but he didn't sound like a very well doggy at all um I'm less happy but Ruth is back I think it was inevitable but I did did live in hope that she she really was gone for good but no she's back and she's back to stay uh made it very clear that as far as she's concerned she and David are very much together and they're gonna weather the storms and the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and ride this rollercoaster that they call marriage together miss mid city scruffy's back she's very pleased she says she's less happy that Ruth is back I mean did scruff come back because all because they move back into ambridge hall and the lights came back on again and he suddenly real you know he was just waiting for them to come back hmm I don't know but that's very sad poor little scruff um anyway she also says how come Helen didn't realize that Rob didn't like Kirsty Helen is a bit thick isn't she oh do you know I don't think Rob like us because you know when he's been he's been sort of highly critical of her ever since he worked with she worked with her at the shop hmm and they're in the play together remember yeah the play before last yeah yeah when they had a massive row didn't they exactly yeah yes anyway I don't know what to say but I'm not going to talk about that storyline Roy Field and all the dumpty dumners happy new year to you all my name is Mark Wilson and I'm a first-time caller in her I've been listening to the arches for about eight years now so on Roy Field scale I'm still a novice but I just wanted to say and I'll probably get shot down for this how dire I found calendar girls was I know it's a bit of a divisive topic but I listened for about 20 minutes before I gave up and I'd really much rather have a feature length episode of the arches maybe to bring the Robin Helen story to a close or to replace sort of a content from the other under exploited and unfinished stories I nearly called in a few weeks back to saying what's happened to all of Kenton's problems and what a marvelous opportunity missed it was to look at some very serious mental health issues and that just seems to have passed by as I know Roy Field's already discussed on a podcast but really really we need Sean O'Connor to stop treating the arches like a radio soap or as he likes to call it a contemporary drama in a role setting I go back to being an everyday story of country folk also if you're just me or does doctor Locke sound just like Alan the vicar happy new year everybody and I look forward to listening to many more episodes of the podcast and indeed of the arches see you bye Mark Wilson a first-time caller in her up we salute you sir sir we salute you even though you forgot all the rules and didn't tell us where you're calling from oh yeah you do or anything you sir yes un salute um do you un salute with the salute I've no I don't think you can I'm taking back my salute yes um and do you know what I've got no idea what he said I can't remember he hated calendar girls did he mark Wilson first-time caller in her uh forgot to tell us where he's from what he does so we will make it up he is from Ipswich and he is a zookeeper well done to you mark um he hated calendar girls absolutely hated it he says and he also wanted to know what the hell happened to Kenton and all his mental problems as he's now completely fixed in soap time just completely done all done happy happy well I'm got too much more to add to that no it's just another I think that's Kenton story line was another example of let's try this oh now I've changed my mind now let's do that instead um hey baby I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs massive greetings Lucy Royfield and all dumpty dimmers around the world it's with a spoon and Angus Haggis here wishing you a happy new year and a happy 65th anniversary so was I disappointed with the anniversary show besides not understanding all that bovine talk not really as has been tweeted about our expectations were falsely elevated by the PR people not by the denizens of ambridge first I thought it was kind of cool that we spent the entire 13 minutes I was always a fan of Ruth and was just distressed about her recent behavior albeit it was following the death of her dear mother it weren't privy to her time in New Zealand it sounds like it was one of reflections taking stock of her life and recharging her battery we've gotten used to these turnarams and I must suffer for happy endings it also brings a coda or so I hope to the year of turmoil for David and Ruth lots of their behavior didn't make sense but I'm willing to move on hope you are as well now on to rob to summarize my forum post and now suspicious that rob is an embezzler and that's the reason why baro farm is in such financial trouble Jennifer will tell Adam who will tell Charlie who will turn into Sherlock we will also get to the bottom of covert king and botulin great key now I know that all of this is wishful thinking but one can hope regarding Helen still not eating her pregnancy will be in trouble shortly and then there's her odd response to her conversation with Ian she's completely repressed or suppressed it now there's a difference between the two and it could be significant for Helen repression is forgetting a memory unconsciously and suppression is consciously for getting a memory both defense mechanisms can occur in reaction to a traumatic event on that cheery note I have to take leave time to take Angus for a walk and set the dinner table for one last holiday event until next time it's with a spoon and Angus haggis signing off with a spoon you have to stop recording with a bucket over your head I don't know what you're doing the quality did change somewhat halfway when he put the buckets on he said he said you know he's always been a fan of Ruth and everything and that he wasn't disappointed by the Christmas by the anniversary show he was very glad that she came back but why is David now sounding so grumpy this is me asking asking this not him because what it can well be that he's a bit miffed with himself because he didn't think of this yeah again when you could listen for the third time to that right what Ruth said made complete and utter business sense it isn't about the margin per se and the cost it's about the profit isn't it and how they maximize that and that's less outlay they have than the more exactly and Ruth has looked at this very much from from the outside looking in and said no no no no you know all these givens that we have to produce the milk in this way are not givens you know and may and I think David is kind of miffed at himself really that he didn't realize this but we've already had a month of him trailing round after her going what's the matter and her going nothing what's the matter nothing and now we've got what's the matter David not good for God's sake do we have to have that from that we can have this in the performance now to Easter before he cracks and tells what the bloody problem is well right here in New Zealand to have a little think well right here and now I'm much more up for this storyline than I was in three quarters of nonsense that came before yeah this is much more believable in terms of you know maybe David's thinking well this is yes this is our farm but really it's my farm and it's my inheritance and you're making such a major shift and change in focus that you know I just feel you know slightly unbalanced but bear in mind we had we did have again foreshadowing of this at the start of the year with all that oh this is how Dan originally used to farm remember all of that you know so we are all saying what we do what where are we going with this and like in the field that milking in the field business exactly yeah exactly um with I'm sure it was the agricultural protector you know lobbing that one in from the boundary um we need to squish together whether they like it or not Andrew horn auntie Jean and yoga bear oh so get ready to be squished everybody greetings earthlings Andrew horn here and a happy new year to you all I quite liked the 65th episode and I think Sean has played a very cool game on us all all year we've been complaining he's too sensationalist east enders yada yada yada so what does he serve up for us not a plane crash on ambridge not Ruth going off with a lesbian crush down under but a sensible farming episode I sense his tongue in his cheek and a great dollop of irony and I actually found it tremendously amusing why when they were moving to block carving they didn't move to block carving so that peak milk would be when there is uh peak grass I don't know but they must have had their reasons I can't remember and I'm sure cosmo will correct anyway um that's enough I will speak to you all in more detail next week bye hello it's auntie Jean here I hope every god I'd lovely christmas on a wonderful new year um I'm ringing because of all the comments I've seen regarding the anniversary episode um and I have to say that I really really liked it I think here's the problem we've got used over the years to anniversaries being marked and they have been leading up to throwing Nigel off a roof five years ago and we all went oh god that was terrible why did they do that so I can completely see why they didn't do anything else and why they kept it to milk yields and profits and fruitcake and to me it suited me completely down to the ground um because that's what the artist should be um David and Ruth are a bit boring and over the top at times aren't they but well we have to pair with that hello dumpy dump each oak or bear here um calling from local land and happy new year god it's a new year um they come around quite quickly don't they well not quickly like fairly regularly really um so yes I've woken up this morning to find myself in probably the minority camp with two things first of all get this one out the way I love the Sherlock Christmas special I know it's not arches related but most people scintate it I loved it anyway that's out the way now the 65th anniversary show um yeah do you know what I think the problem here is was all the hype beforehand all the publicity they put out saying it's going to be special going to be special going to be something big and actually what they've done is I think what a lot of us have asked for in a way which is a bit of a return to you know a bit more about farming a bit more character driven stuff rather than plot it was kind of about you know the discussions with David and um I'm Ruth and and kind of you know and also it was Robliss which was brilliant um but I think again the problem seems to be balance it's it was too much to the other way we don't American presidents hire a new podcast from right field show about the issues around farming and uh milk production and what have you we need some of that and then we also need some plot in there as well so I don't know I mean I just think they fumbled it a little bit I enjoyed the episode I quite enjoyed having a nice episode about the characters and about farming but I don't think it should have been the 65th anniversary episode I think they should have pushed the boat out a little bit but not so far that it was some horrible Rob Helen Fest there we go that was an RTG and Andrew Horn Yoko Bear sandwich for the new year um yeah they all like the anniversary episode and Yoko Bear loved the Sherlock Christmas special which puts you in half a percent of the population I think Yoko Bear especially you can actually understand the damn thing weren't we um me and Roy folk dam to listen to the the anniversary episode three times to understand what the hell Ruth was talking about how many times did you watch the Sherlock episode to figure out where the bloody hell was going on um I gave up and started reading the newspaper halfway through that um yes press up press offices fault he says as well for making too much of the anniversary episode it was yes a bit of a miscalculation on their part I think but we'll forgive them as long as they hurry up and get shot of Rob we'll forgive them there was yet another piece India Knight did a piece um about Rob and Helen this Sunday in the Times and on the Saturday on New Year's Day David Ronovich in the Times talked about the anniversary issue uh edition and that he liked it and everything and that it was a return to you know dribbling on about yields and you know what colour cows they had and all that can I just quickly just jump in here right um if any of our listeners know uh have like any bat channels of communication 20 of those two um who love stress archers listeners I have I have with David Ronovich so I'm gonna skip anyway I'm going to so India Knight yeah anybody out there actually like has her number on their mobile right can you just like call Rob just say away yeah want to get undone to them yeah because we need to do something big for this 100th episode yeah yeah we do and we can't just like you know you and I just droned on because that'd be you know though somebody has said on Twitter oh no on on our forum that for our 100th episode let's hope that Royfield doesn't push Lucy off a roof yes let's really hope that thank you whoever that was oh now we've had lotters and lotters of um he male or innerist oh I love this bit of a show this is where Lucy reads incredibly fast yeah you can nod off Hannah Whiting who is Kenny koala bear on Twitter it's the first time we've ever been written to by koala bear now listen to this bit Royph you know you talking about how old you were yes she says I've never contacted the show before I've been listening since I was born in 1996 so she and kindergarten now they Hannah that is silly nobody was born in 1996 it'd be ridiculous she says her first real member of the archers is the wedding of Emma and Will and me and my best friend at primary school were shocked at the affair between Ruth and Sam I was a real dumbly diddler she says it was perfect um the anniversary episode although she would have preferred Rob to have been murdered um and uh she yeah she said that she is now looking forward to the archers in 2016 and because she felt like it was a sort of a return to um the older days and I suppose for newer listeners it is a way of kind of consolidating the history of the archers that they might not know the history of the show um but she said she's very worried about uh Helen and fleece also said that she enjoyed it she said we've spent years complaining about observed melodrama ludicrous plot devices so it was entirely refreshing to have a discussion I had a little bit of tension and fruitcake it was no tension no no she said is Ruth staying or going and bossy techno pip uh are they people have been listening to this podcast they know there's no tension she's never gonna go well she says I had a little bit of tension and fruitcake and she said let's just be grateful that no one was slaughtered in the process true now this is the most cosmoish email we've ever had from cosmo I fear I love emails that start with the words I fear that you have again conflated the estate owners Cameron Fraser and Simon Pemberton and the other Simon who married Debbie yes yes oh cosmo Cameron Fraser was not to my knowledge ever violent Caroline Lizzie whom he romanced well he got her up the duff and left her on a labor I'm not sure that counts as romance cosmo but anyway he was a convicted insider trader who ran a Ponzi scheme and left Lizzie pregnant in a motorway service station I think Caroline eventually got a good chunk of her money back Simon Pemberton was a nasty British thug who beat up Debbie and Shuler and the latter eventually had him convicted he had a father guy who married Caroline a sort of Oliver precursor who was actually a nice guy but had been unable to bring his son up as a human being yes I thought yes you're quite right and I did think at the time this is all sounding too convenient and I'm sure I've forgotten something and you were right I had indeed now Moira Ravenscroft has had a jolly good idea about you know you were talking about wanting names for groups of listeners and depending on how old they were yes yes yes she said she's just discovered us and she likes us thank you very much Moira I'd be like you too Moira she said Ruth is acting almost as if she was jealous of Pip like she did when David's ex-girlfriend Sophie Barlow turned up again at least Pip is putting them into designer overalls yes and then she said names for groups of listeners how about basing it on past characters so if you can remember Walter Gabriel then you can be an old pal and or an old beauty if you're Mark if you can remember Mark then you can be a marker if you remember Nigel then you can be a Nigella this is the death of and if you say to yourself who was Nigel anyway then you're a baby in arms I like that on that basis I am an old pal and an old beauty so am I keep up the good work Moira and she's just registered as Windle Straw on our forum so you're you an old pal and old beauty I like that right but I still feel that there are people because when I came when I started listening like 84 the thing had been on for 30 years then yeah so I think we need to recognize people who were listening from at least the 60s right so somebody needs to tell us about a character that was written out let's say mid 60s oh okay and then if you can remember that character you trump everything else yeah so then you are a blah blah blah yeah then there is a word then you get epilets and possibly the freedom obviously exactly you can walk you and you get the key do I just say near and you add a senior over all the dumb to dumb listeners oh really no not really no why do you find one won't you ah la only beavers on the book of face said oh I thought about the listener taxonomy oh get me she put in brackets maybe you classify by the decade that listeners first started listening others will have clever ideas on each decade but a general capsule for older listeners might be for original listeners might be me old beauties well done yes so that all ties in you see that makes sense and Andrea Melling on the book of face said I think we listeners should be classified by the decade during which we became fans I am an 80s girl my husband is a noughties or just naughty depending on mood I like all of that but I'm going to go back to what I said before so you need to find we need to find we need like somebody like Cosmo yeah we need to counter that died out in the 60s yeah okay it was kind of in it from the start and then because that there was like wasn't there a barber at one point there were families yeah yeah yes yeah so if so come on Cosmo come on Paul Wilkins come on older older older listeners tell us who who these character is and of course Lucy and I will never have heard of them and then that will be you know the grandest yes that will be the grandest of a four-ring of her oh yeah smashing right whoo Lucy this has been a corker of a new year show this oh I know I'm like it oh no so let's take five Picture this you're halfway through a DIY car fix tools scattered everywhere and boom you realize you're missing a part it's okay because you know whatever it is it's on eBay they've got everything breaks headlights cold air intakes whatever you need and it's guaranteed to fit which means no more crossing your fingers and hoping you've ordered the right thing all the parts you need at prices you'll love guaranteed to fit every time eBay things people love let's talk about something that's not always top of mind but still really important life insurance why because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage credit card debt it can even help fund an education and guess what life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think in fact most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is so with state farm life insurance you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank not sure where to start state farm has over 19 000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget get started today and contact a state farm agent or go to statefarm.com Kenny's family health care benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon with two kids he was a big fan of that then he took advantage of Amazon's on-the-job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development Kenny liked that too that led to a bigger paycheck so he was able to get his youngest son a drum oh please drum set next up drum lessons learn more at about amazon.com Amazon every day better it's the story of a cultural superpower that danced and sprinted its way to success it brought the world reggae compound rasters hip hop bob molly much more its story is told to you in full color for your podcasting years it's the story of how do you make a conquer the world search for it on iTunes how do you make a conquer the world it's probably the best least known podcast and podcast on search for it today 1914 June Sarajevo the heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary Archduke Franz Ferdinand assassinated killed by a Serbian nationalist about six weeks later world war breaks out Germany Austria-Hungary Russia-France Britain everyone is drawn into its starting in August and then will America be drawn listen to the first show exclusively on mixed cloud today and subscribe to us on iTunes beginning January the 18th from Washington to Obama 10 American presidents the new podcast from Royfield brown do you have a national trust sticker on your car do you think you could be best friends with kafkitsen do you spend hours wandering around the airport looking for an organic quinoa cafe because you refuse to go to Burger King then Sarah Smith cloths offer you available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer proud sponsors of Dunty Dum I've just had a look at the Dunty Dum shop they've got no track suits but they do do t-shirts which are very flattering nice if you want to show off your figure a little bit Nick couldn't carry one off of course but I can good day everyone we are still to make a new year's resolution for the residents of the ambridge and Valerie Bayliss kicked us off by saying Christopher Alice Cathy Boucher Haley have a story line Ruth find my old personality script writers try to concentrate on more than one storyline Asha Wolf Robinson said knighthood for anyone bumping off Rob or at least rescuing Helen G to be cropped said Henry tidy up my lego every night except that one piece on the landing Guy Ladbrooke pick always insist on contraception Sarah Wood's rock wall suggested that Brian restropped stock the drutes cabinet Guy Ladbrooke said sterling finally crush Ed that's a bit harsh guy Alison Butler said Pat reinsert backbone Diane Telford Lillian find a new man who isn't a heel Joe 94 become Joe 95 and Kirsty do not go near Tom's sausage try Rex's Rachel Tollhost said Ruth to unpack Sam the common from the suitcase and install him in Jill's writing desk and Heidi Griffith said Pat Tony and Tom to go to spec savers and see what the relationship really is like between Helen and Rob Maisie Jet said Usher get Helen off with self-defense defense we also wish you a merry a happy new year we've got some lovely responses to that Vicki Cole said happy new year from Nairobi listen to calendar girls on the plane what a treat looking forward to another wonderful year of dumpty-dum as you can see these are lovely messages and less sharing we have another one from Vicki Van Goghtum who says happy new year from LA thank you so much for your wonderful podcast I only discovered it recently but so glad to have another thing to listen to to keep this ex-pat saying Vicki it's lovely to have you with us and I mean that seriously Denise Tomlinson said love and happiness to you all Laura Jackson happy new year Roy Filton Lucy looking forward to our San Francisco meet-up Annie Morley wishing you a happy and healthy 2016 keep up the fabulous work with the podcast life just wouldn't be the same without them I agree Annie you and Phillips happy new year to you too thank you for your fantastic podcast during 2015 and looking forward to more in 2016 we also had good wishes from blend day after Quentin Bennett who says happy new year from New Zealand and with a spoon Pee McCosh Wilson the 30th will finish off with May 2016 when you good health good fortune good friends lots of love and peace and I also wish you all of those and I look forward to spending time with you in 2016 I'm now going to go for a little break with jambay well the rest of my family's awake we're going to a little place called castle main in central Victoria and I will be back with you next week and whatever you're doing I hope you stay and have fun all right thank you Millie Bell from Down Under oh that that that that that was good I tell you what Lucy what we are having shed loads of new people join and look alike our page with each one yeah yeah yeah yeah we're going to hit that 900 barrier very soon I tell you what would be most awesome is if we can hit the thousand barrier as we do the hundred yeah that would be good yeah some kind of mathematical conjoining of astronomical stars or something to another anyway but before we can even get to the end of this show we need to do hashtag the arches tweets of the week there's quite a few of these game but that's because I'm doing two weeks um uh Simon who tweets as at 12 furniture no okay at 12 furniture who said I think Ruth has been sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle she sounds over excited and a bit giddy um uh nozilla said and now this is a really nice way this is a taxonomy if you like for actual episodes themselves she described the anniversary episode as a traditional fruitcake episode none of your modern lemon drizzle in that one so I think we should either have a lemon drizzle episode or a fruitcake episode depending on whether or not it's all new and melodramatic or whether it's the flour and produce show and somebody losing a wellie or something um uh Steven Sheldon said about calendar girls hashtag calendar girls the wifi went down so I guess I missed Toby's pals shouting get your nips out during a bite with me um Ellen Hughes is very sweet a Christmas is when uh scruff returned but it was the hashtag that may be laugh Ellen Hughes a Christmas miracle teals all round hashtag not in the silage clamp after all oddly that failed to trend internationally hashtag not in the silage clamp after all you could just imagine half of at least three quarters of twitter looking at thinking what the hell anyway and tweet off the week tweet off the festive period was John Reed who said I'm rather enjoying calendar girls but then like Gene Harvey I am off my tips on eggnog and we have an honorable mention from Lottie for Lottie Shed who retweeted Dick Kingsmith the writer who said that Mr Bump you know Mr Bump the Mr Mr Mr Mender yes yes yes the Norwegian version of Mr Bump is version the Norwegian version of of uh Mr Bump is hair dumpy dump which really she thinks sounds of it like um dumpedy dump hair dumpy dump oh but it's very sweet and she's sent a picture of a book uh with hair dumpy dump on the front which I liked very much so there we are oh smashing all right uh let's crack on and wrap things up shop news Christmas has come and it's gone uh as of next week we'll be giving uh listeners who purchased some stuff at our store an honorable mention because if they got you a present uh you've got the present by now so yes shop news returns next week Lucy's favorite section of the show you can also go to dumpedy dump.com to comment on the shows not that many people actually do it though I'll tell you what they do come comment on statistics gosh oh some Brits Lucy we're a funny bunch you know somebody nerderly collate stuff all of a sudden massive interest in comments well that was corporal humble bucket tweeted and said this is the most English waste of time the most English massive waste of time I've ever seen I know I saw that and I did I did like that tweet but no Mike don't stop please Mike don't don't don't see this is no we love it please continue we absolutely love it and so does BBC arches they always retweet when you know when Mike does his page and then I tweet it in Facebook it it gets loads of comments and they retweet it so don't stop you you peculiar English person you um so you can go onto our site you can do that you can comment on the shows but nothing you do and you can just message to the listeners and calling it directly so pull it now if you want to keep our show on the road there are a couple of specific ways this can be done yes go to patreon.com/emptydum and find us to support the show for two dollars or if you want to simply donate you can go to dumptydum.com and hit the donate button on the site now I've got an apology to make because I completely forgot patreon to hit that patreon button at the before the end of December so what that means is that you're going to be double-billed in January I'm really sorry all I can say is I'm gonna ask it won't happen again it's all this travel to Canada this made me forget to do because normally I do it at the end of the month I add the shows up together put it on patreon and then then it builds you and I just forgot time difference or something for another so if that creates too much of a problem for you next month I massively apologize email me and we can sort something out but you will be double-billed for January but it's just catching up with December now iTunes news Lucy do you remember iTunes? I remember news of reviews reviews news all those years ago yes can you sing it news news news of reviews yeah yeah pretty good pretty good now folks it's tough out there in podcast land without positive reviews we need you we always got all these loving new listeners all over the globe we need you to go on to iTunes and write us a positive reviews five-star us please because that way then we get even more listeners and good things happen now we have two new reviews one from the US of A and one from good old Blighty this is SA 62 says brilliant best podcast great to hear other people's opinions on the archers and usually agree with them Lucy right field and on occasion Andrew Horn are brilliant and funny who are thank you I don't like reading these out it's embarrassing uh better than trivia night at the ball says Clara from California this is one of those unique podcasts where the presenters become like your friends we are your friends each week you look forward to hearing what Roy Ford Lucy various caller-inerers book of face posters and twitterers will find delightful frustrating well-written or totally idiotic about the goings-on in our favorite English finish to be fair Clara it is genuinely idiotic anyway they've done a great job of creating a community I enjoy being a part of from all the way across the pond lovely thank you very much and did how did I Lampey Rosa get on with them finding more people in California to be friends with that all the Californians are all getting together weren't they well and I'm going to corral them together because I'll be over there ten days nine days so I'm going to take it upon myself to get the north bay is the east bay is and the people in the city all together uh for a northern Californian bay area dumbed you don't get together yay nice good good good I love me some San Francisco fun remember to get in contact with us you need to send us a voice message via speak pipe you can do that by going on to our website and clicking the red tab over on the right or you can call us on zero two zero three zero three one three one zero five two levers a telephonic message which we will then placed on the show and comment on all possibly even ignore uh but you know we'll be smashing one super so do that or another way of contacting us and being part of this wonderful community is to go on to the twitters where and you can find us where we are at dumbly dumb and you can tweet me tweet me I did say tweet me tweet me where I'm at Royfield uh me at Lucy V Freeman or Sarah Smith at Sarah underscore Smith and the final way of contacting us is to go onto the book of face where you type in dumbly dumb and then you will see a group of whilst a page let's get that up to a thousand in the next nine episodes I know we can do it I think that's just about me done oh next week who's going to be sat on Derek's couch with you Andrew Horn next week I will be having the horn really I think Andrew's wife might be sitting at Lucy and again you never know there might have quite an open marriage you never know so yeah so Andrew Horn away it's fine but listen folks I'll be back in two weeks time Andrew will be deputizing and doing a sterling job so that's all from me I will say tatty bye and welcome into our third year of podcasting together is it well we started this in 2014 we're into our third year it's not three years it's our into our third year correctly yeah cool 15,000 it's a lot of people it is a lot of people it's a lot of people that don't have anything else better to do with their time I know that's quite worrying hello don't you dumb goddess diva here I know I'm not going to be in time for this week's podcast but I'm going to have to start doing this on a Monday and getting into the next week's podcast because my shift says just don't get time to ring you on a Sunday once I've heard the only bus anyway enough about that this week I'd like to talk about the goings on at Brookfield Farm what I would say is well don't pick for going and snaring your man Pippa Matthew all the way I've been shipping them since he first came in as long as she stays away from the fair brethren that's great and anybody who sluts shames Pipps for going after what she wants is going to have to deal with me she's enough if she's been married and divorced a couple of times she'd do what she bloody likes um the 65th year episode I'll be a bit controversial here I liked it I really liked it it was it was nice I got to learn about about knock yields and stuff and short horns and long horns and giggled a lot at horns not growing up to decide it's not too um so yeah it was really good even who to Jill didn't get so much on my nerves because she seemed happy she seems actually generally excited and and the baking doesn't feel so passive aggressive anymore um David Dibby did punch his piss off he's just getting right on my tip he's just so moving my arm yeah get out of yourself this dickhead and I have to say I'm going to say something I was very controversial here I am team roof team roof all the way she did her thing she went away she found herself she came back and she's putting her foot down and when she when he said I want things to go back to the way they were and she said that can't happen I cheered because finally she's actually putting her bloody foot down in a way that isn't aggressive whining and team roof and I'm going to get pom-poms and I'm setting up a cheerleader squad who's with me I'm expecting I'm going to be on my own but never mind I love roof and roof is awesome and David can shut up and tip go on girl um right that's it that's it for me this week apart from to say I'm still loving the cod cod past seriously I need more sleep and um I will speak to you next monday and look forward to hearing what all the wonderful witty funny Hi this is Christopher Kimball from Milk Street Radio I often shop at Whole Foods Market since they sell the kind of food I like organic vegetables a great meat counter and of course a great staff for Thanksgiving Whole Foods offers prying turkeys as well as a spiral cut bone in ham the Whole Foods Market bakery has a large assortment of pies even a vegan pumpkin pie or grab some brioche and butter flake rolls for the table as well or you can ask the Whole Foods team to cater your meal for you including the bird the sides and desserts get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market have you ever wondered how your metabolism ranks? wonder no more with lumen science meets technology with the first ever portable device proven to effectively measure metabolism using the co2 in your breath giving you actionable insights to help you reach your health goals visit lumen.me/lumenpod that's l-u-m-e-n.me/lumenpod use the code lumenpod to save 15% off your lumen device today the people of dumpediedum land have to say about last week's goings on all right then i will speak to you soon take care god is steve or out [ Silence ]
Another bout of exquisite commentary on our favourite radio fly on the wall document as our hosts return from their Christmas break.Following Lucy's entertaining exposition of the events in the last two weeks Roifield provides a diatribe (from Canada) on the content of the anniversary show - all agree the subject matter needed to be covered - but it was the wrong subject for the episode concerned especially given the promotion the episode was given by some mysterious marketing department seeking listeners as so many have been lost by a particular story.The recently published character appearance statistics are discussed and the transition to the next generation is under way with Pip being the second most heard person this year. More of the younger generation need to come to the fore in the next 12 months.Andrew Horn asks for the Kosmo view on the Brookfield changes. Kosmo thinks that spring calving is nonsense because of the spring lambing; birthing both at the same time is going to lead to some very tired and confused people. Kosmo also does not understand why you sell one herd and buy another - just change the dates you get the cows in the family way (next year Ruth can do it herself). Buying and selling cows and losing the hard won genetic traits (as well as a farmer's natural feeling for his herd) is a complete nonsense says a farmer's son. Sorry Ruth you really have not thought this one through, particularly if Pip goes travelling which all children do these days.The old character must be Arthur "Doughy" Hood, played by Arnold Ridley, who departed in the early sixties; he was a baker and sold out to Juniper Bakeries. Others a little later are John "Jack" Archer (Peggy's husband) who died in early 1972 and Lester Nicholson (Lilian's husband) who was killed off when the Canadians stopped taking the programme in 1970.I claim to be a "Doughy".Calls this week are from:Miss Mid City who is chuffed about ScruffScott Matthewman who runs a critical eye over Lynda’s productionsMaeve who agrees with YokelbearDjembe who wants a more cheerful yearMark Wilson who hated Calendar Girls Jo Jo Sexy Heels who predicts Titchynob’s demiseYokelbear who’s in a minoritySarah Hides who’s not hiding any moreAunty Jean who is a fruitcake about fruit cakeand Andrew Horn who thinks the editor’s tongue is in his cheek
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