DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dtd-87 - Rob fatigue, biscuits as history and the sexiest man in Jamaica

Lucy has reached the point where she has disassociated herself from the entire Rob and Helen storyline. It has been dragged out for far too long in atrocious detail and consequently like the flood has completely unbalanced the entire docudrama and the remaining village inhabitants are not getting a fair share of the microphones. As a result the Fairbrethern end up being treated like Pinky and Perky (or Sesame Street) thinly drawn characters compared with the Dostoevsky-like excellence contained in the abuse story.And Lucy is equally upset at the poor treatment handed out to Joe - the real world does not work like that. Historically stories would usually be well researched and managed by the team via the editor - but currently there are so many loose ends a lot does not make sense. This theme recurred in a number of calls.Jim discovered that the flood assessments for Route B used the wrong hydraulic model in the light of the flood and therefore the assessment needed to be done again correctly. A generic model was used rather than one specific to the locale.Roifield complained about not getting a word in edgeways as Lucy sailed through the calls but our hosts were able to confirm that the Archers Archivist has been pensioned off - hence underlying continuity being a complete mess. A BBC money saving exercise no doubt.Somehow biscuits then took over the programme and Roifield shoe-horned a Battenburg cake into the process.And the Tweet of the Week was an advert for a new husband after he broke a DumTeeDumm mug - and have you bought yours for Christmas yet?Time to catch my Etihad taxi.KosmoOn this week’s episode we have calls from:Robin Winning who says Route B is poisonousEverazephyr who’s found the moral messageJacqueline Bertho who thinks Helen might start fighting backYokelbear who’s sulkingVicky Cole who is heartbrokenWitherspoon who’s turned into Eliza DolittleMichele laferte who wants to know why rob is getting everything he wants and Kosmo who’s flooded India.

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Duration:: 1h 15m
Broadcast on:: 07 Dec 2015
Audio Format:: other

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This is Dummy Dummy. This is Dummy Dummy Dummy and this is the last part of our Christmas switch on folks is you. Today's Dummy Dummy is a jazz riff. Is it jazz? I don't know what the hell it is. I think it is that. No, it was more of an 80s vibe. It's more of an 80s new romantic vibe. That's what I thought. Oh, I don't know. You're the music one. We're not doing that. No, no. That was curly. No. We vitally disagree as to the musical providence of this one. I think this is more 80s. Great. I see this person having a wedge in a flick. I don't know. Why don't you tweet us or read us and tell us what kind of musical genre you think that intro was. But anyway, James Wilkinson, we applaud you and it was good, sir. Not only good, it was funny. So well done. Bravo to you. But Lucy. Yes. Somebody else is suitably musically inclined and wants to give us a Dummy Dummy. How can them in the accolade of Dummy Dummy of the week? If you would like to sing a stumpty dum, give us a plot prediction or let a pensioner sleep on your sofa. Ring us on 0-2-0-3-0-3-1-3-1-0-5 or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thank you to lovely chamberedists for her amazing voices. To Cosmo, as always, for his podcast round-ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Thanks also to Derek for the loan in the back bedroom. He organised the turning on off the Christmas lights around the green that he thought he'd be environmentally friendly and he switched them all to Eco bulbs so they should light up about February. They do take a little bit of a time with the warm-up, don't they? Just a little bit. On this week's show, oh god, is Speakpipe now working too well? Too many cools. Too many cools. Rubbing Winnin, who cooks a lovely meal. If you ever find yourself in the North Bay, the Bay Area folks, I recommend you tweet Robin Winnin and say you're coming round because that's what I did, what a lovely woman, her and Jeff. Anyway, at Robin Winnin, who says that root beat is poisonous, Michelle LaFert, who wants to know why Rub is getting everything he wants. Ever as ever, who's found the moral message, Jacqueline Burdoule, who thinks that Helen might start fighting back, Yoko Baer, who's sulking, Vicki Cole, who's heartbroken, with a spoon, who's turned into a liser do little, and Cosmo, who's flooded India. But first, before the call of honoris, before I try and weave in an anecdote about biscuits and history, here's Lucy V, Freeman's Week in Amherish Vokes. We started the week pleasingly, with David being kneaded in the nuts by a bullock who Ruth had slipped a five or two before she left. He's fighting his mother and his daughter off from trying to give him bed baths, he's going to be in plaster for two months, he's very worried about what will happen to the farm. I don't know why, Lillian ran a very successful business, despite being plastered pretty much all the time. Joe had to find his birth certificate to prove he's 94, you know. The cowman that they offered the job to before Pip left her job after half an hour is still free and able to start work tomorrow, so he sounds highly sought after, anyway. He arrived, he's five and a half by the sound of it, but he should be able to fit the milking in between his afternoon nap and in the night garden. He said he always wanted to work with cows, so he'll fit right in with Jill and Pip. Then we had a bit of cringe-making horseplay between the fair brethren, honestly, I have never ever known brothers who talked to each other in this joshing, weird way that the fair brethren do. The brothers I know in their early twenties just say, 'wot do kid?' to each other, and that's about the extent of it. These two behave like the kind of male friends in Shakespearean comedies, 'what hoe, brother mine, that shall be fuddled you by throwing this lump of good shit in thine eyes?' Brian sided with Rex and Toby and taken the piss out of Adam. Brian understands the fair brethren, and seems to have completely forgotten the rattlebag incident. The proper men, decent chaps, either the ladies, but a rugby, none of this eco nonsense past the port. Anyway, Adam didn't care, he was off for soil fertility day, I hope you all got your happy soil fertility day cards from me, I was a bit late sending them out, and I've left the bunting up too, it's terrible. Anyway, as I'm sure you all know, soil enthusiasts dress up as bags of compost and dance about waving fertiliser sacks. There are rides, obviously, and competitions, guess the weight of the soil, and it's been the soil, it's great, I can't believe you didn't go. Kate has had planning permission for a yurt and a big trench with some dalesford organic buckets that are going to function as the bogs, so that was exciting and conveniently didn't involve her speaking at all. Titching up, booked Helen in for an entirely unnecessary scam, it wasn't really a scam, it was a private clinic, and it was to have her obedience chip implanted, not graded, so she now loses the ability to drive or do anything except say, whatever you think, Rob, you're worth it darling, and anyway, it's not even my money, so who cares? And the poor little sod is a boy, anyway, more of that later, as I am getting cheesed off with it. Harrison was being his usual chirpy self on stage with the rehearsal of calendar girls, there was some amusingness about buns, etc. I get a bit uncomfortable when the archers does do belong to them on purpose, that is our job, it is like when they aren't to always take the mickey out of suddenly starts impersonating herself. But Chris Scott mentioned, he's finally figured out how to get himself down from the crisscross, right foot, left hand, Chris, you'll get there lad, and he will be a stage hand, so that's nice, that's one back from the dead anyway. Talking of being near death, Joe has been sent to what appears to be a crack den in Wolford, rather than a bed in an old people's home, which I am sure is what they would actually do with an unwell 94 year old man over Christmas, so I am presuming that Ed Grundy, in his regular chats with Oliver, has not mentioned that he's in Fartire family or homeless, while their original home lies empty and in need of protection. Add that to the cross list, please, because I will be coming back to that too. Did we all enjoy Benedict Cumberbatch's appearance as far as Christmas in the bull opening? They kept that very quiet didn't they, well I thought it was a great sport anyway. And the shop reopened too, we've got to stock what people want said Susan, this is true, unlike the bridge farm shop, which will only stock gluten free gluten and some breakfast cereal that tastes like doormats. And the best bit of the week, well that was obvious, the Christmas season is officially upon us and how do we know, no, not because it is the switching on of the lights that ensures ambrage can be seen from space, nor is it stir up Sunday, or sod off Saturday, nor is it clarry plucking simmer they terracase, it is the return of Christmas Linda, Christmas Linda is completely different to mildly irritating every day Linda, Christmas Linda is selfish rude and pompous, she is shouting at everyone, has taken over Lower Locksley and was caught nicking bits from the Lower Locksley Tableau, which featured Roy, naked, supported by Tittcomb, holding the Lower Locksley coat of arms, which is two tent pegs rampant and the motto "Happy New Year" you made some stuff up there didn't you, I did make some stuff up, what should be on the Lower Locksley coat of arms, gorilla suit, what else, a tree, an oak tree because old Nigel was obsessed with his trees wasn't he, a gorilla, someone in a gorilla suit, I did have an oak tree, a rampant gorilla, yes, or it would be a sinister gorilla, yes, no, not sinister, sinister has in the Latin been on the left, come on Lucy, keep up, sorry, yes I was thinking, I didn't think Nigel was anything, you couldn't think of anyone less sinister than Nigel, let him, very true, very true, can I do my crescentess now about what I was going to come back to with my crescent, go on, am I going to have to sit down get myself a cup of coffee, I am Lucy Freeman rampant and sinister, I have now found that I have hardened my heart completely against Helen and Rob and it doesn't affect me anymore, I reached a point where I was, I am rubbish at watching horror films, I don't, when I say horror films, I don't mean horror films like you know, Halloween or Saw or any of those awful ones, I never watched anything like that, I just couldn't and I do not see the point at all, but even I find anything, I am very very susceptible to anything frightening and what I do, when I start to feel that my emotions are being manipulated in any way it was how I used to make myself stop crying in Lassie, imagine the camera crew and everybody all around, I try and imagine past what's happening on the screen and I try and imagine the cameraman, the director, the sound man, the boom just out of shot and all that because I find it kind of, I hate being manipulated so much, it kind of takes away from the, it's like putting the fourth wall back sort of thing, it helps put it at a remote distance where I feel untouched by it and I am now doing this with Helen and Rob, even though I didn't do it deliberately, it's just happened because it's now gone on for so long, it's being dragged out, it's getting faintly ludicrous all this nice and the precious business and I hate it so much, I've just pulled the plug out, I've just disassociated from it completely and someone else and forgive me, I can't remember who it was, said roughly that on the Twitter's, I can't, on, on, on, on the Speak Park, I can't remember who it was, but yeah, I think, I think they've peaked and gone too far over the other side now. I'm inclined to agree for all the reasons that I said in the proceeding weeks, it's just that it, you know, I jokingly tweeted this week or last week that I was chatting to somebody about the cats of Rob Titchner and said he was more evil than Stalin and then kind of written, obviously that was somewhat said in jest, but it's because of the absolute detail in the writing and then as you've just pointed out there are massive, everything else, every other storyline is somewhat kind of glossed over, is just somewhat just written in kind of like broad brush strokes, whereas this just so incredibly detailed and it is turgid, so whether it is everything that's somewhat kind of innocuous that Rob is involved in, and I have to mention yesterday's episode here, though, so there was a touch rugby and then there's a passing reference to the fact that Rob played it really seriously, you know, and it's just that offer God's sake, you know, this isn't, you know, we get it, you feel like just saying, we get it now, yes, yes, and there are a plethora, there must be some 30-yard other characters that are just completely nuttly underserved by this and you rightly in your monologue talked about the fair brethren and I know the vast majority of us listeners is still somewhat kind of on the fence and it seems like there's going to be some kind of love triangle now, isn't it, with this Matthew, Matthew Boy, that's just wondered in nettable, the cows, whatever the heck he's doing, but if you look at the uncomfortable as you said in your monologue, uncomfortable dialogue that goes on between them, and I suppose because the script writers do know what they're doing, they can write dialogue, that is, you know, self-evidently put in front of us in terms of the Rob and Helen thing, which is just dripping with, every line is dripping with nuance, but it's because of the detailed nuance nature of that, that you look at these pair of bumbling buffoons and it just feels like pinky and perky doesn't it, it's like we've got Dostoyesky, we've left this Rob and Helen and then we've got Pipkins with these pair of, you know, and I just, yeah, I'm sorry for our American listeners, let's say Sesame Street, Sesame Street, you know, and so I, I don't necessarily want to get to know the fair buttering too much better, but I wish, I just, I said this before, I just want the whole thing to just be a little bit more balanced, so, Loose, I understand where you're coming from. And also on the, on the, on the, I'm so crossing, I don't even speak, on the topic of being emotionally manipulated and run out, footing a 94 year old man, oh fuck, fuck, of course somebody would find Joe, a bed, of course, what about the vicar, what about, you know, Ed and, um, Ed and, uh, sorry, Eddy and Larry, would he, of course he's better off sleeping on a sofa than he is sleeping in some frickin' hostel for crying out loud, um, of course, he would register that he could register at the house to hatch to the social services and then come back. I just hope, yeah exactly, I just hope that this isn't some kind of hack need, you know, December 24th. Yeah, it's a lot of cities. Oh come on. You can't have this gaslighting storyline and with all the nuance, pathos, light and shade, yeah, there's no light, there's darkness, darkness and more darkness. And then have this ridiculously soapy, tropey, oh, and then there'll be a star over Ambridge. Because I'm sorry, I'm sorry and I'm doing the hand at the moment, I'm sorry, but that is how thick they think we are. No, no, no, I don't think you know, I don't think that the listeners between us have got more than five brain cells because at the moment, I can't. No, Lucy, you can't say that. You can't say that. And here's the reason why because we know that the character of Rob Titchner didn't come in to Ambridge to be a misogynist. He just came in and he was just, you know, I suppose he's just going to knock about and just going to see where he went with this, where they went with it. However, his misogyny was slowly revealed and it took time, let's say, for all of the listeners to realize so much so that there was a Rob Titchner Appreciation Society on the book of Face for a time. Cool, but they shut down quick. No, they've shut down now. You know, you know, they just thought he was this poor, slightly misunderstood, you know, kind of bachelor, et cetera, you know, within a strange wife. So, so no, I think I'm just repeating. I don't know what more to say about this other than you've switched yourself off to it. But so many of the listeners are just incredibly uncomfortable. No, but I'm talking about Joe now. Oh, we're talking about Joe Grundy, aren't we? Yes, OK, I've gone back. Sorry, I got me TARDIS, didn't I? But I just, I think that is exactly what they're going to do. I think this is going to be some more Kish. Let's all move down to Grange Farm. Eddie, I can't believe we're back where we belong in Grange Farm. Oh, it's a Christmas miracle. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, at which point I will smash my radio against the wall. Yes, I think that's exactly where we're heading, depressingly, because they think we're 10. No, there's, I'm in, I'm in favor. I have faith in the script writers here. I admit it doesn't make any sense on the face of it, but it cannot be. This is the most sign and posted. Don't make sense on the face of it, let's be honest. I think if we start pulling on that thread, the old bloody show will unravel. Uncle God, Kerry, don't let me down. You know, there's, there's another element to it. Boyfield's reputation, Kerry. Oh, God, no. That's he would do. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Loose. Yes. Why don't we nip over to our telephone exchange and see what the good listeners of the dum, dum, dum universe. Oh, it is a universe. I tell you what, right? We're now on a cast, which is this new hosting service for the podcast, right? And I can see exactly- That'd be clever again. Yeah. Right. It times it well, doesn't it? The time is still at it. Yeah. He just watches me to go into the bedroom to record dum de dum, because normally you do it earlier than this, don't we? On I cast, I can actually see which countries of the world listen to dum de dum. And which- Yes. So, we have got two listeners in China. Really? Yep. Reveal thyself's listeners in China. China, Vietnam, obviously, that Kenya came up. My friend Ben in Singapore, he listens. Yes. No, no, no, no. Singapore came up. There was somewhere weird and wonderful as well, somewhere like Kazakhstan that came up. There's one listener in Kazakhstan each week. Oh, that's maybe go goosebumps. Hello, Kazakhstan. Yes. London calling, London calling to Kazakhstan. Yeah, it's properly global. Anyway, so on that note, why don't we go and see what the great dum de dum listeners all around planet Earth have got to say. Who's first, Lucy? Hello, Ambridge 3962. Well, that Robin winning is first. Oh, love a bit of Robin. Hello, dum de dummers. This is Wine Country Robin in beautiful Northern California. I'll Anthony Rosa on the Twitters. The last time I called was probably over a year ago. So, this is my once a year color inner moment. I have a theory I would like to share with you all. I'm a paralegal and contracts analyst. And I would like to give you my fruit of the poisonous tree theory of the archers. In the U.S., we have an illegal theory called the fruit of the poisonous tree, which is that evidence that was obtained illegally is not admissible in court. The idea being that it's tainted because of the way in which it was acquired and therefore no good can come of it. Similarly, in the archers, there is a poisonous tree and that tree is root B. Every single storyline that has stemmed from root B is like the fruit of the poisonous tree. They've all been, as my English friends would say, absolutely pants. The sale of Brookfield, Ruth's mother's illness and Ruth's handling of that, Ruth's death and Ruth's handling of that, the subsequent introduction of PIP as a fully formed adult farmer, Jill being kicked out of the house, Kenton's little snit about not becoming a millionaire. Those were all terrible stories. In the meantime, the rest of the archers' clans are doing well. I enjoy the Robin Helen story. I'm enjoying calendar girls, things going on with the Grundees, Charlie and Adam, Kirsty coming back. All the story lines that have nothing to do with root B or did not stem from root B have been great. So I think what the script writers need to do is to come up with some new story lines for the David and Ruth side of the archers family tree. I'd be interested to hear what you all think about that. I'll call back in about a year. She says, in her role as paralegal, well done, Robin winning, this is her annual call, she says, Ruth B is the poisonous tree, i.e. root B is the storyline from which all other shite storylines emerge. So every storyline that has come off root B has been a pile of pants. Sailor Brookfield, are they going? Are they staying? I mean, all that dying. Ruth and David falling out. Pip suddenly becoming a languid divorcee. No more, you know, she's saying, I agree, no more root B storylines, stop them all, because that's where it's all been going wrong. What the hell has happened to root B? Should they not be building it now? I'm struggling to remember. Or care, in fact. Well, really, that's what it is. I don't really care because we always knew it was never going to happen. And, you know, when was the bypass actually built? That was kind of late '80s, wasn't it? Late '80s, early '90s, the bypass. Right. So it was deja vu all over again. But, I think that, hmm, there was some, so there was all the flooding, and then there was the ramifications of that in root B. And then it's just kind of walked away. Then Linda did the, that was it, Jim, Jimus. What the hell did Jimus find? Remember, Jimus found something and then was going to take it to the council anyway. Yes. But I, what I did think was rather genius about this call was to kind of treat the whole kind of root B thing as a family tree. And the spoke, I'm mixing my metaphors now, but the branches that kind of came off of it in terms of, you know, related storylines that were affected by root B. So Robin, I applaud you for that. Yeah. Which is another reason for saying how unbalanced this whole show is in the fact that this one storyline is crowded out everything else. Yeah. Yeah. What else did Robin say? What? What else did she say? No, that was it, really. She was talking about it. Yeah, paralegal root B is the poisonous tree. Uh, ever as ever. Um, she says the moral message of Ambridge is that everybody should tell everybody everything. Well, at its radio, it kind of depends on that. It would be a British rapport show on the radio if nobody told anybody anything. But I know what you mean. It's, uh, the whole thing plays on secrets, doesn't it? Well, it's secrets and lies, but that's what all soap opera depends on, really. Yeah, it goes with the genre, doesn't it? It really does. But it's, if you get put on the arches, you get punished for not telling people things because things come out anyway and bite you on the arse. And that's kind of what's going to happen with Adam. It's, you know, uh, it's happened with Brian Aldridge. It's, um, you know, like, uh, the whole thing about Ruth and David is, is, is him not telling her things. It's, you get punished if you don't tell people exactly what is on your mind in, in the arches. And that's the, the moral, the moral thing. Just tell everybody everything constantly. Don't ring them up. Go round to the house and tell them. Hello, it's Michelle from what I'm here. I'm just amazed that the script writers are letting Rob get everything he wants. And now he has his son. And it's so amazing because in stories, we want the bad guy to get punished and we want a good guy to be saved. And Joe is having to live in a hostel. This might be a great preparation for a wonderful heartwarming Christmas storyline. But I could really see Rob going long term, being Justin's henchman in the village and he's so good at being evil. He's so good at manipulation that this could really go on for a long time. And I can see it and I can see that being really irritating and also really fascinating. Honestly, if Rob was gone, the arches would be a little bit paler for me. He's really adding so much interest that I really do love to hate him. Michelle Laffet, why is Rob getting everything he wants? This is horrible to say. Not I want her to have a miscarriage. I don't. She's clearly ambivalent about this baby. I'm not getting any sense that she is excited, that she's feeling any of the nurturing feelings. I think she's feeling huge unease. And I think that I think that we are heading towards her having some sort of miscarriage. We're not some sort of miscarriage, a miscarriage. I don't think he is going to have the sun. And I think her losing my son will be the thing that causes him to kind of drop the pretense and unveil himself. I think this, because I can't remember if it was on the Twitter's or however this missive came from Witherspoon. But he said a very similar thing. Who might have said it on the forum, I can't remember. But he said, everything goes this man's way. And I think that is to show that when he gets his comeuppance that actually all hell will actually hit the fan because he's actually got too much to lose. He will have basically too much face, his new family, his wife, et cetera, et cetera. So it now makes sense that Justin is going to offer him this job, or at least... You know what, Luke, you've absolutely convinced me that. I just need to switch myself off to this rob thing. Because what did happen to Mike's interview? Yeah, it's like we're all looking the other way. You know, it's like somebody lighting a fire in the corner of the room. And you're all watching that. And then there's all things that everything else is going on around you and you're not paying any attention. It's kind of become a bit of an excuse for inconsistent continuity on the rest of it. Yep, as I said, and just to go back, the only salient point I've got to make here is the fact that it's all about rising stakes and how much of a commitment rob has in various different pies, but fundamentally with his new family in Ambridge. So when he gets his comeuppance, it will be the most spectacular of all the new moms, breakdowns, whatever the hell, because he's just got so much riding on it. And I think that is the point of the reason why he scored the winning runs in cricket. He scored the winning try in rugby, et cetera. He's just going to show how much... How far he has to fall. Exactly. We can, Jacqueline Berto said much the same. Hi, dumb ditums. Jacqueline Berto from Sanguen in France here. I've been thinking about Helen this week, mainly because I'm a week behind everybody else. I just haven't managed to catch up at all this week. I heard the bit when the shop opened and she made a speech now. Speaking in public is not very easy, but she obviously comes across as a strong, independent, confident woman when she speaks in public. So I keep thinking why doesn't she fight back? She doesn't appear to be able to fight back. I know that's the style of Rob's persecution of her. But it's a question. Keep speaking me think there's sort of gaps in what we know. Well, I know we don't know every minute show of their lives. Well, I think Helen should start fighting back. But maybe she has done this week and I just haven't caught up yet. I mean, she said it was nice to hear Helen do that speech because at the opening, because it kind of reminded us that Helen used to be and underneath it still is a, you know, extremely competent professional business woman, not necessarily to particularly likeable, but she was very competent and very on top of things. And, you know, it was nice to hear her sounding like herself again, faintly irritating, but, you know, doing her job. So are you typing? Yeah. Yes. Hurrah. It was nice to hear her Jacqueline. I agree. Um, Yokele Bear. Hello, Dumpty Dum. It's Yokele Bear here calling from, well, quite an angry place this week. And I'm sure you can guess why. Charlie going to Perthshire? I'm gutted. I just thought Charlie was developing into such a nice rounded out character. I mean, okay, he started a bit kind of one dimensional. It was all about the kind of career and the spreadsheets. But over time, I thought he turned into a fascinating character. You know, the vulnerabilities about the kind of what he gives up for, you know, a career and he knows that that leaves him kind of a bit lonely and a bit, you know, vulnerable. And I thought he was developing brilliantly and now just gone or potentially gone. Obviously, we all know that this is kind of Rob's doing and script writers. If you want to get rid of one character, make it Rob because I'm now so pissed off with the whole Rob's situation. It's not even good listening anymore. It's like he's gone from, initially, we thought a bit of a pantomime villain into something a whole lot more sinister. If we were going to be true to the archers and the original kind of ethos of the archers, I think characters like Charlie are more like it than Rob. I know it's an important issue. I know it's good that they've put this issue out there, but I don't know. I'm perhaps I'm just biased because, as you know, I really like Charlie as a character. If all else fails, could you please just start writing a new docu-dramical percher, please? Very angry that Charlie is going to perch it. He's not going to perch it, Yoko Bear. He is going to wreck the wedding and then he's going to marry Adam. He's going to push out Ian into the font on his way at the aisle and then shout me and sweep Adam into his arms. This is another, is he going to go, is he not going to go, is he not going to go, bloody nonsense storyline. Yes, I agree. I'm liking Matthew, although he does sound like he's five and a half. I liked it when he calls Toby Tobes. All right, Tobes, because even though he barely knows Pip, he still recognises a Tossa when he sees one. So therefore, he's, you know, good man. There are a few enough of us about who can recognise Tossas when we see him. Vicki Cole. Hello, Lucy and Roy Fields. And everyone, there's Vicki Cole in Kenya here. I didn't call in last week, so first of all, can I say congratulations to Andrew for a very good show. Although very nice to have Roy Field back again last week. A couple of things, really. I've been looking at some of the Facebook pages for some of the other Archers groups. And a lot of people are saying that they're not listening anymore because of the Robin Helen storyline. And while I can see that if you'd been in any way involved in a similar situation, it would be very tough to listen. I'm feeling completely the opposite. I think the dialogue between them is so brilliant and the acting is superb by Louisa and Tim. I just can't not listen to it, although often with a great sense of dread, of course. What I am finding irritating is the Grundy storyline, because again, there's some heartbreaking stuff going on there and brilliantly acted by Edward Kelsey as Joe. I don't know if he's as old as his character is, I think not quite, but brilliant acting. And he's being so brave about it. But I just feel that it's not realistic. They would have taken legal advice, Citizens' Advice Bureau. Maybe somebody would have offered to put Joe up. The other thing I was wondering is, isn't there another son? Doesn't Eddie have a brother called Alf? I don't know where he is, but maybe Joe could have come to stay with him. I guess they're leading up to a happy, ever after story at Christmas or something, but at the moment it's irritating me because I just feel it's very unrealistic. And finally, I'm loving everything to do with Kellen to Girls, and I'm so pleased that they're going to do an actual broadcast of the play like they did with Blind Spirit. Looking forward to that very much indeed. Yes, the Grundy storyline is heartbreaking. And as I said before... Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why? 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So, give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of detail. Holiday magic is in the air. And DSW's got all the shoes to make your season extra merry. Leave. You've got parties to attend and list to check twice, so DSW is taking care of the detail, like gifts to make their eyes all aglow, styles that bring joy to your world. Brands everyone wants, like Ugg, Nike, Birkenstock, and more, and deals to make your budget bright. Find the perfect shoes for you and yours at a DSW store near you or DSW.com. I'm not going to go on about it, completely unrealistic. Also, how can anybody be moving into their house because the two months notice isn't up yet? Someone said the other day, "Oh, look, so they're moving into the Grundy's old house." The Grundy's could still be living in it, I think. So how can they move new people in? I don't know, loose. If the notice hasn't been served on the tenants. But it doesn't matter because we're all just focused on the Robin Helen storyline, that's the only thing that matters. Rubbish. Yes, and I'm not sure I've got lots of rooms, why couldn't they look after Joe? And I think, Vicki, yes. Joe has a brother called Alf, who was in prison. He's out of prison now. And I think, does he live in great Yarmouth or have I made that? That's Rosie. No, that's Rosie, that's Clarice. Yes, sister. Yeah, because that's where Ed ended up, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. So I don't know where Alf is. But even, yes, even if he's still in prison, Joe would be better off there than you wherever he is at the moment. Uh, with a spoon. Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling, toss salads and scrambled eggs. Massive. Greetings Lucy Royfield and all dumb tea dimmers around the world. It's with the spoon and Angus Haggis here. We've both been practicing the proper British way of pronouncing R-O-B. Rob. Rob. Rob. Oh, I give up. Speaking of he who dare not be named, the Dark Lord has had another good week. As I mentioned on the Twitters, he seems to get all the breaks. After Jennifer spills the beans to him, in a wave of his wand he appears to play serious doubt in Helen's head about even attending Adam and Ian's wedding. Won't that go down well with them? Then with another wave of his wand, he who dare not be named has created a Dark Lord Jr. Will it emerge as alien did? I'm actually still betting on something going awry with the pregnancy. Especially with Rob. Oops, I said his name, spending so much time making sure that everything is going perfectly. I was impressed with Emily's analysis last week regarding the possibility of Helen having a recurrence of eating disorder symptoms. I didn't listen to the archers when Helen was struggling with it in the past, so it wasn't in the forefront of my mind. But I would say it's something to consider as her eating does seem to be the only thing that she could control at this time. From the Dark Lord onto the Weasleys, I mean the Grundy's. What are Eddie and Clary thinking? As handsome husband asked, why would they leave him in that crappy bed-sit? Of course, sleeping on their sofa, safely surrounded by family, would be a better situation than a 93-year-old man staying in what we would call a single room occupancy hotel. It makes entirely no sense that Eddie, after seeing the Chateau Fermont, would consider it even for a millisecond. Script writers, I'm talking to you again. Keeping a brief today, Angus and I are back to our elocution lessons. The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain. Talk to you next week. [music] You're still saying "Rab", but we love it. Or you could switch it to "Tichy Knob". Yes, it is absolutely ridiculous that Joe can't even find a sofa to sleep on. And also that the Grundy's would uncharacteristically not tell anybody. Normally, Eddie broadcasts everything that's happening to them at full blast. I'm surprised when Clarrie started the menopause that he didn't take out a small ad. The fact that he would not mention the fact that his dad desperately needed a bed for the next couple of months or something. It's just nuts, nuts, nuts. I agree. And Cosmo! I had a minute, Lucy. What? It's not going through these at a proper clip this week. I am! Have you got somewhere to go? No, there's just lots of them. Oh, I didn't even have charts to chime in with with the spoon. Sorry! I've got nothing to add. I'll just say no to the potentiality of just nipping in and saying something. You usually just interrupt you, me. You don't wait. No, I've got so much better at that in the last nine months. Then I'll never do it at all. Right. [laughs] Anyway, we'd moved on to Cosmo. We have! I couldn't catch my breath in with a spoon. Hello, Dante Dom. Cosmo here. Being here is a surprise to me, as I should be in Chennai. But it flooded, so my holiday is cancelled. Going to Thailand shortly instead. I am pleased to be remembered, and I had not forgotten Helen's displaced hip. I am, however, fed up with the poor story planning. By now, either Route A or C should be being built. What has happened to I was still losing his marbles? What about freely going off the rails? All the vet practice moving back to the stables. Environmental checks for the new ambridge organics farm shop, as it cannot be called the bridge farm shop, as that name was tainted by the E. coli outbreak. Wise birds knocked back in the bungalow. Hazam's side survived all the money at the mat stall. Fallon's crowd funding scheme. Mike's job interview at Burrow Farm. And a Roy and Hailey divorced or not. The grunnies still have the cider shed, so why have they got nowhere to pluck and draw the turkeys? It is where they have done it previously. And I bet that was never inspected, unlike with Barnard Holotree for the fair brethren. Why can't Pip share Rick's yard with Matthew? It has two bedrooms, and indeed probably only needs one the way they are going. How's Brookfield's kitchen been inspected before it produces food for the new cafe, which is located at Bridge Farm, that tainted name again? I'm surprised Helen didn't bother to point that out to Rob when he suggested it. It goes on and on. The microphones in the village are clearly not working properly, and it disrupts the entire Dr drama hinterland. The archivist must have been sacked. Furthermore, I checked Millie's assertion over the extra material in the omnibus, and she is of course 100% correct. Well done, Millie. I checked both the original and the omnibus, and the latter made clear that Rob was spending their savings, but not touching Piggy's money yet. Although he was sure that if they did, Piggy would not mind as it was in a good cause. That's it for me. I'll try to keep the podcast summaries going. Hope somebody's reading them out there. Bye for now. Would you like to say anything about Cosmo? Yes, Cosmo. Cosmo being Cosmo, it was obviously what you'd call a forensic accountant, because nothing gets passed it. And he rattled and prattled on about, meaningfully, though. Not only about the fact that he's not going on his holidays, poor you Cosmo, but about the fact that all these story lines which have been unresolved, and he said, "I reckon it's the continuity person must have left." Because there was somebody who used to sit at the script writer's table and say, "Such and such wouldn't say that, or such and such would be milking right now, or, no, this story is in Congress because of X and Y and Z." Camilla Foster was pensioned off on January 1st, so she has actually gone. And she was there for every in a day, and she was the human Wikipedia of all things, kind of Ambridge, and she had this filing system which was something of legend, so we believe. Yeah. It's not necessarily lack of continuity, i.e. people doing things out of character. For me, it's just abandoned story lines. Like, as Cosmo says, "What's happened to Alistair?" And this... Madness. It appeared madness. What did he say? Horse pictures! Horse paintings! You know, Freddy? All the people... Mike and Vicki still doesn't make sense. It was this new bugger that's running the milk round. It's just nuts. It's just things that get mentioned. And it's almost like someone's got a whacking great list somewhere, and they say, "Oh God, yeah, yeah, no, we must come back to that." Just leave that for now. Leave that for now. We'll come back to it later. It's like after this bloody titching of story has been resolved, or maybe another, it's like we're going to have six months sort of catching up. And now, over to here. And now here. And now here. Just to try and, you know... That would actually be quite nice. It would. It would be lovely. Yeah, you just get back to normality. Yeah. And I am getting seriously annoyed now, actually. So I'm going to stop before I say something. I regret. Anyway, yes, that's it. All the calls rattled through. Good heavens Lucy. Hot feed. I feel we need to fill. We don't need to fill. We've been yacking for 40 minutes. Well, here's the thing. Right. And I was trying to go try and... Biscuits and history. Oh, there you go. Right. Mystery biscuits. Biscuitry. Well, this does have very many links back to dummy dumb. And we all know that dummy dumb listeners like a biscuit. Right. Now, Gary Baldy Biscuits or Gary Baldy Biscuits. Remember we talked about them some podcasts ago. Yeah. Right. You didn't remember. Did you? No. We talked about fig rolls as well. Yes, I do remember that. Yes. Right, great. And the fact that people in the biscuit factory up in Blackpool never eat the fig rolls biscuits coming off the conveyor belt because they've got crust flies in them. Right. Yeah. And you said what's in a Gary Baldy and I said Italian patriots. Yes. I was chatting to... It's not really Italian patriots, is it? Well, Giuseppe Gary Baldy was born in Nice, which is somewhat considering he helps liberate Italy. Nice biscuits. There you go. There you go. Nice back in the day was Nicaea and was actually part of Italy. Art of biscuit empire. And then Giuseppe Gary Baldy in what, 1859, nips off to Sicily with a thousand red shirts to liberate Sicily and then the kingdom of the two sicilies, which was kind of Naples and Sicily, from which royal house. The borbons. You got it. You got it. So I was chatting to this history today. You're absolutely. So please, please, please. And then, so this history teacher said, "Royfield, this is too much. I need to tell my kids this tomorrow at school." Right. And she says, "What about wafers?" And I went, "What wafers?" And the pink biscuits. No, this is the only tenuous link that I had to that. So those biscuits and bright pink, aren't they? Wafers. Yeah. Now, Palermo is the capital of Sicily. Palermo FC play in salmon, pink football shirts. Now, if anybody else can come up... They're in the beach. Whoa. Nearly. Yeah. Yeah. Anybody else can come up with a historical biscuit link to link all these together. Well, you see, of course, our own royal family. Their full name is Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg, Jammy Dodger. No. Saxe-Coburg, go for it. Jammy Dodger. No. But actually, it isn't that anymore. It's pronounced Jammy Dodger. It's pronounced Jammy Dodger. It's pronounced Jammy Dodger. No, it's not. And actually, was it in the '70s? They very quietly... Saxe-Coburg, hobnob. There we go. No. No. No, Lucy, it's not. In 1917, the British royal family changed their surname from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor. And actually, very quietly in the '70s, double-barreled it to Windsor-Mount-Batton. Yes. Yeah. So, no. Oh, my God. Mount-Batton. Battonburg. Battonburg cake. Yeah. No, it is. Mount-Batton is a direct translation of Battonburg. Wow. It's not a biscuit, but it's a cake. You could write a book, didn't you? Boyfield Brands guide to history using baked goods. It was. Confectury items. Sweet History by Royfield Brown. But you know what, though? The point of this is that... Oh, good. There's a point. There is a point. Yes. If you can teach history... Yes. And use props, which people remember, then they never forget the links. Because take home and eat of... Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So, Battonburg cake. Mount-Batton. Good grief. There is a link. I found something yesterday that made me think of you, and I thought this is your theme show. I can't find it now. Oops. Sorry. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's better be worthwhile. There we go. Right. You ready? Right. Well, this is Royfield Brown's theme tune, as chosen by me. I can't find it. There we go. Lucy, how can I be the sexiest manager maker if I live in London? Well, it's not my fault if you're in the wrong place. Well, it did make me geforce somewhat. Why don't we quickly re-tire it? They made me laugh when it appeared on my iTunes yesterday. I had a good cackle. Let's retire for five minutes. Let's have some advertisements for podcasts that I produce and for our shop. Come back the other side with a touch of Millie and #TheArchesTweets of the last seven days. And... Don't have a lie down. That would be super. It's the story of a cultural superpower that danced and sprinted its way to success. It brought the world reggae, calm power, rastas, hip-hop, bop-molly, much more. Its story is told to you in full color for your podcasting years. It's the story of how Jamaica conquered the world. Search for it on iTunes. How Jamaica conquered the world. It's probably the best least-known podcast and podcast on. Search for it today. My name is Kate. My name is Joe. My name is Nicola. My name is Suzanne Herkemi. My name is Mary Parkinson. I'm in Hope House as a Client. I have had addiction issues through my way. I hope hers. I was an inclusion. Eating disorder. Heroin... And addiction... Do you need drugs? Methadone. Oh my god. I'm here because it got really bad. At long last, a thousand and one conversation is available to download from iTunes and all good podcatchers. This was a place where women worked to help other women. Hello. Just a quickie. Sarah Smith's cloths are really useful. If you soak them in gin, they make a marv at this Molotov cocktail. If you ever get the desire to burn down a yurt, Sarah Smith for the posh-wash-wash-er. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm? Something comforting. You can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a dumb-de-dumb mug from the shop at dumb-de-dumb.com? Fills down, lovely. G'day everyone. Bit sleepy today. It was really hot overnight, unseasoningly hot, 27 degrees, which I think is about 84 Fahrenheit. So just bear with me because I don't think I'm thinking straight. We asked this week on dumpty-dum, if anybody out there's got any solutions for the gun disc because we've had a heartbreaking week with them. Valerie Bayless suggested number one, the green. Simples. Andrew Horn agreed with her. Number one, the green. Jenny Allen said, "Definitely going to end up at Grange Farm in some kind of caretaking role as the Disturnings decide to extend their holiday abroad. Just a matter of how many twists and turns the plot takes to get us there." That's an interesting plot prediction, Jenny. Ruth Simpson said, "One way trip to Switzerland." Don't ask me where that one came from. Chris Bowles also agrees that they could have set for Caroline and Oliver while they're away. No one would break in again. The only beat that's suggested, the Dow House will be available when Linda and Robert return home. Maybe Lillian will take pity on the grandis? I'm not sure how Jenny and Brian feel about her staying there because I think she's drunk or the grogg. Calvin Saxton said, "Couldn't she take them in like she did with Darren?" Or, "There is the TARDIS that is Brookfield Farm." Now, I think we are mixing up our obsessions there. Alison Molinou agrees and says that Ed and Emma move into Grange Farm, Ed can be the manager, then the senior grandis can have Will's house in the brain. Ta-da! But isn't Lillian's house empty at the moment? So, some really good suggestions for everyone. The other question this week, there was a really comedic episode this week, and I said, I wondered if this episode would be my Lucy the whole time it was on, I'm thinking Lucy Freeman, those double entomps just kept coming. The two sweet line by Joe, in particular, really tickled me. The pile isn't big enough to cover Lillian's assets, straight out of one of her monologues. Linda, it would ruin the free song or very similar to it, which I can't say, was typically a real diet and there's no way I'll be flaunting my bigs, had me nearly needing to rinse out my unmentionables. Now, I have to say, I wish the arches would give us some warning in advance, because I had drive to work and I nearly crashed a calf. So, I asked what your favourite line has been recently. Margaret Worthington said to use the tradesman's entrance, not funny, but a lot of listeners laughed, actually that was funny, telling Rob to use the tradesman's entrance, that was funny. Jan A Mitchell, definitely the pile isn't big enough line, but Harrison's is a close second. Guy Labbrok also liked Harrison's nice buns, Linda. Harrison's shouting nice buns, Linda. In that mad accent, if he's was terribly funny last night, agrees Katherine Carina. Yes, a lot of people liked to its sweet, chortle-worthy indeed, says Andrew Horn. Certainly, your audience wants to see more of you, so it's very cool. Yeah, I agree. That was funny, too. But Vicki Barry says she loved the line, don't touch the composition, then don't touch the composition, no Harrison, it wasn't a prompt, pure comedy genius, as only the artist can do. What a great week we had on the Dump to Dump Facebook page, thank you everyone for getting so involved. I haven't had to read out from the other pages because we were a reflective of what being said out there, and to be honest with you, we were really funny. So keep it up, everyone, and I will speak to you next week, hooray. Milly, Milly, Milly, Milly, Milly, Milly, Milly. You surpassed yourself this week, Milly. Wonderful, wondrous goings-on and the book of face from our lovely, Milly Bell. But Lucy, why don't you hit us, give us a double punch, a triple punch with some hashtag the artist, we eat to the last seven days, thank you very much, please. Okay, this is an all, we have an all female list this week, Barbara Kafka, and this is continuity. We're at 7pm tomorrow, we're back in average for the twinning ceremony with Jeddah, where women are all the stars, like that a lot, wouldn't it, if that's not sweet of the week, it must be a proper blockbuster. Sweet of the week is a stonker, Amanda White, Amanda White Art, said, oh, I feel a patriarchal vomit coming on. Cornstalk El Nora said, when they were at the scan, the scan, cheer up. That might have been one of her horns in profile, #myhelp, #bits, Fiona Griffin, it's a boy, yes, but he's gay, just look at his tiny pink crevat, #slowburnrevenge. And this is my favourite, it got a lot of like, Diane Moynes. Oh, I knew it was going to be this one. My husband has broken my dumpty-dum mug, I now need a new one. Five foot eleven, no facial hair, solvent likes kids, no Tories. Lovely. That was most excellent. Yes, good crop of the twitters, so chaps, come on, the women have set the bar high, try and beat it as we can. So you're interesting aside, right, there is, I forget exactly where this quiz was, it could have been the Guardian, but whatever, and basically it's how well do you know your own country and all of your answers have to be kind of guessed in it. So it'd be things like, what is the percentage of people in, if you're South Korea or Japan or Britain, Germany, whatever, the United States are obese, you know, no one's going to know that figure exactly, so you just kind of guess. And the interesting thing is to compare the countries as to how well people perceive their country and actually what it actually is. And so in countries where there is some kind of xenophobia, some level of xenophobia or let's say political debate about immigration, people wildly overestimate the amount of immigrants. In America, they said 40% work more here and it's 15. Yes. But the one statistic where every country underestimated it, and this is really interesting, was the amount of women in parliament. Now in Britain, it's basically 30% give or take. And every country underestimates that. And you know, I must admit I did, I went, oh it's about 50, I know we're doing well, we're doing well, it's 15. Of course if you're doing well, it should be 50% right, and it's just, I don't really know what to make of it, I don't, I can't really remember what the conclusion that they made of this was. But every country that does this, does this quiz massively underestimates the amount of women in parliament. And I don't know whether it's because they're in the legislator, but they're not necessarily in government positions, they're not necessarily the chief executive, et cetera, et cetera. But it was just an interesting aside which came to my mind when you said about the fact that we had an all female luck out on tweets of the week. Do you think we should set aside a place for a male tweeter for tweet of the week the next week, just to go on the safe side? No. No tokenism. No. Okay. We're a meritocracy. Are we really? Yeah. But is there not any subliminal bias though? No. You see a tweet and it's quite funny by a bloke. No, but the interesting thing about Twitter is that sometimes you don't know whether people are men or women. That is very true. And I've kind of, because I've sometimes been talking to somebody on Twitter and suddenly realized I'm flirting with them and thinking, "Kraiki, I don't actually, or they say something and I think, 'Oh my God, that was a woman.' And I've, you know, I don't know. It's quite weird or you have a certain way of- Why can't you flirt with a woman? Well, you can, but it's just, it helps if you know beforehand. There is a, there is a way you talk, you talk to the sexes and it's quite weird when you're, when you don't know whether somebody is male or female. And you suddenly, and you think that it doesn't matter, but then when you find out they're not the gender you thought they were, it clearly, all of a sudden you realize that it does matter because you would have not said certain things had you known. But the same thing is your- Like I thought you were a woman for a year and a half. Shut up. Right. But the same thing works your way around that, doesn't it? In terms of, somebody can say something to you and it depends on what their gender is as to how you actually take what they've said. Yeah. You know, you think, "Oh, a bloke has said that," so, "Oh, it means this," or, you know, it's a certain sort of, you know, it's fascinating, but I kind of think that we should wrap this show up now. Okay. What do you see? Shop news. Christmas is coming, so get your stuff. It's, it's chalk a block full of goodies which can be packaged and sent off to your loved ones. And some of them, some of them stuff. Well, people you dislike. It's up to you. Yeah, but we're going back down last week's kind of train of thought now. Sorry. Sorry. No. No. No. Let's send this stuff to your loved ones. And there's all manner of goodies, gym jams, there's mugs, there's t-shirts, there's coasters, there's, you name it, it's there, go get it, in our shop, www.com/shop, buy it now. Plus, you run www.dumb.com, add your own articles, and let's do stuff like Mr. Mike Hatton, who every month does their character statistics and he tots up on a multibasies, which characters have actually appeared in the archers. And this thing is now becoming a little bit of a phenomenon. So any gun and retweeted Lucy. Who by? By BBC the archers. No. BBC the very proper archers. Yes, by the British Broadcasting Corporation's archers Twitter department, don't you know, no less than them, retweeted it. And so Mike Hatton, we salute you for being such a wonderful person and by having friends in high places. There you go. So you can go onto our website and you can like see which characters just haven't even been on the archers this year. All of them, except Rob and Hatton. But yes, Kate Rowlands and Anna Rhodes did kind of slightly take him to task with one of the characters he said he hadn't been in it last month, but that was all resolved. So well done to you, Mr. Mike Hatton, and yes, controversy is never too far away from the dummy-dumb website in whatever form. Right now, you can help keep our little motley podcast show on the road. And there are a couple of ways for which you can help us, folks. Go to patreon.com forward slash dumpty-dum and find us to support the show for $2.00. Or if you want to simply donate, you can go to dumpty-dum.com and hit the donate button on the site. Now next week I will do a roll call of the Patreons, the Patreons on Patreon, because you've been, I was going to say manfully, but in this kind of times of egalitarianism, you've been personally contributing each month and you haven't had a bit of a shout out, so I'm going to give you a shout out next week because you is all awesome. Now remember you can get in contact with us by going onto our site and you can do that by hitting the red tab over on the right, which is a voice message via our kind of partner Speakpipe. Or you can call us on O2030313105. Now I've been reliably informed as of Monday morning that the telephone number works again because Vicki from Cambridge, Cambridge, she did say that, "Royfield, I tried to call but I couldn't get through because he said it was full. It's been unblocked." So you can use that number if Speakpipe doesn't work for you. That number again is O2030313105. Leave us a message there if you don't like using modern technology like the Speakpipe. Or another way of contacting us is to go on social media, on the Twitter's no less. We can find us where we are at, dumb to dumb, or you can tweet me where I'm at Royfield. Me at Lucy Pfeiman, or Sarah Smith at Sarah_Smith. Also on the social media. We are on the book of Face. And you can find us there by going on to the book of Face and typing in dumb to dumb. And you'll be like, find our page. And you'll find some 800 and odd other people that like that said same page. And you can talk to them, you can post to us, you can comment, you can do whatever the heck you like, as long as you do it with a friendly tone. No horribleness on our Facebook forum. Yes. Thank you very much, please. We do not do the horribleness. However, we do apparently do half-naked pictures, which is very nice. Did you see with a spoon? I did see with a spoon's picture. Half of with a spoon? Mm-hmm. Did you want to see more? I did. Yes. I zoomed in. I zoomed in, don't you know? Also, and Philip, Philip a David's husband has been posting pictures of her in the, in the nip. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. I saw his email saying, ha ha ha, this is really funny and she'll kill me. Or whatever it was. And then I never actually saw the thing. Well, so folks, we are going to send all proceeds of our calendar to refuge in honor of the Rob and Helen story line. So if you want to get on this calendar, you need to take your picture of you in the nip quickly. Now, I suggest you get your loved one or you get a trusted other person to take a pick of you somewhere nice. Not just the postman or you know? No. Well, no. No. If you trust your postman, why not? Yeah, it depends. I won't. You know him or her. I suppose. Yeah. Well, as long as you trust them and make sure that you're all nicely lit so it's somewhere nice and bright and that your modesty is covered up with some strategically placed vegetables, fruit, mugs, any implement that you want. And but this is the thing though. We are recording this on what? December the 7th. Yep. I reckon we need to get these submissions in before, let's say, the 15th, 16th. Otherwise, it's going to be a little bit of no point doing it because you need to get them into me. It's going to be royfield@gmail.com. Then I need to design the calendar and to get it out. And we said we're going to do this. So let's do it. Now, gentle reminders need to go out to Jacqueline Bertot, Vicky from Cambridge, Cambridge, Charlie Cat, goddess, David and Artie Jean. You, good ladies, did say that you would do this. Now, it's just a gentle reminder if you decided to, you know, modesty is the best part of valor. You know, I'll completely understand. But let's kind of give this a go, Luce, are you going to do it? Yeah, you are smashing. I'm going to do it. Oh, you, you blimey, you barely have your kiss on. When have you ever seen me in a state of undress? No, you've always lolling around on your bed in your pants. You did you skied me one day and you only had pants on because you stood up afterwards. We had to do all the homework. And then you told me to stand up and I couldn't because I only have a pants on as well. Yes. We're so provisional. Yeah. Well, anyway, if I have seen you in your pants and you've seen me in my pants, so there we go. It's just, you know, it's a very fond memory of mine, Luce. But if we're going to do this calendar, folks, get your submissions in. Take a pic with your phone, nice and bright, nice and clear. You, you know, modestly there and all proceeds will go to refuge and now be smashing in super. And this has been a wondrous, don't you, don't you, sir? Yes. It's been jolly good. I said naffal. It was just you blather, you know, going on at a speed or a rate of knots through all the course. Well, actually, hang on, mate. He was. He's with a spoon. Hello, he's Cosmo. Tweet to the week is the end, but no, well done, Lisa V Freeman. And everybody, I will see you again in seven days. So special shout goes out to the Wdom listeners in Beijing. Yes. Yeah. So there are 12, 12 listeners in Beijing and two in Kazakhstan. That is absolutely amazing. Here's a thing, right, Brazil, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, which country has the most dumpty-dum downloads? So again, Brazil, not that it matters, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina. Argentina. You're right. Well done. Good. All right. Out of Germany. Yeah. France. Spain, Italy, which has the most dumpty-dum downloads? France. You think so? Spain. Really? Yep. Yep. Oh, they said France. Let's just wrap this up. All right, then, Lisa. It's goodbye from me. And goodbye from him. Toodaloo. Bye. 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