DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 85 – Andrew Horn takes the Helm

Sponsorship this week from UrbanSprawl.org.uk and Barwick Green by Aunty Jean plus William the parrot who was upset at not being included last week. Andrew Horn was sitting in for Roifield, providing he did not do it as well as the man himself.Lucy nailed Ruth's stroppiness - pointing out that she has just dropped over 30 years and turned into a teenager. And Jenny's old kitchen has finally found a home in the village hall. How long has that story been maturing?Opinions on Lynda swing violently depending on the time of year. Much praise for Tony for standing up to Rob. We are reminded of some back stories this week - particularly Helen's illness when born and how she weak was then leading Pat to being particularly protective of her daughter and therefore siding with Rob over the danger of driving, bearing in mind the last accident involving Mike.Roifield was given a long task list, Andrew is on the Colombian free trade and he was joined by Lucy. Andrew also revealed the secret life of a chorister.Millie Belle reported a bumper crop of activity on Facebook - particularly with Ambridge becoming Ruthless (for only two weeks!) and David referring to getting shot by being late for the restaurant booking!There were a lot of callers this week:Paul Douglas predicted that Rob's parents would reveal that he has previously only fathered girls.Michelle Lafferty is another first time caller and acknowledges that David is not jerk - but just being a farmer.Claire from Scotland via Canada who thinks Ruth needs help expressing herselfJacqueline Bertho turned the focus onto Pip who has effectively replaced Ruth everywhere except in David's bed.Miss Mid City can see no sense in Ruth's decision to go - but hopes she will not come back. After all Ruth cannot run away from herself.Nosila and Witherspoon majored on Helen's problems and Pat's siding with Rob - but there are reasons from history.FInally Vicky Cole is incredulous with Alan and there were crickets in the background

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Duration:: 1h 14m
Broadcast on:: 23 Nov 2015
Audio Format:: other

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State Farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget. Get started today and contact a state farm agent or go to statefarm.com. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. All right. The show is sponsored by Glinful Love, who would like to highlight Urban Sprawl CIC, a leads-based theatre group working with people affected by homelessness. To find out more about them, go to urbansprawl.org.uk or find them on Facebook. At Bridge Farm Cafe, we always use Sarah Smith Cloughs. When I was at Brookfield, I only had those nasty blue and white ones, but these are vintage. Like our furniture, balance it so I have to call our cakes vintage, not style. Sarah Smith, for the posture washer. Hello, everybody. It's Auntie Jean here. I just listened to this week's podcast, and I would need to explain where I was when they were all singing the dum dum dum, because I wasn't there. I was in the toilet, and I didn't hear a thing, so I think they must have sang proof of that toilet in that pub, because I didn't know what was going on. And when I came rushing out and said to Lucy, "Why didn't we get everybody to do a dum dum dum?" they went, "Well, we've just done it." And I wasn't in it, so I aim to put that right now. No, I'm not obsessed with toilets, by the way. I know I was going on and on and on about spending 30 feet out of the way, but I still think that's dreadful. So I'm now going to sing you a dum dum dum, with only that. William Parrot, hello. William Parrot, say hello. Hello. It's going to join in, but, you know, don't hope for much, because he's not got much of a voice really, except for screaming. So, here we go. [Singing] Hello darling, too, to you as well. And that's us. William Parrot and me. He was better than I was. I'll speak to you again soon. Bye. [Singing] You're like me, frantically scrolling up and down the screen, trying to find out where the hell you are. I've got my synopsis of the week printed off. I've got the tools. I know. Mr. Homework. Roy feels very worried. He's given me strict instructions. I need to be good, but not too good. [Laughing] He's got nothing to worry about. Love him. I know. Okay. Shall we go? Yes. Go on then. Alright then. [Singing] This is Dumpty Dum, the show about the reality docudrama that is centered on Ambridge in the heart of the Midlands. I am the athletic touch rugby team at Isandrew Horn, and with me, I have the unfortunate scrum that is. Lucy Freeman. At the last part of our entirely unnecessary sporting event is you. Today's Dumpty Dum is a fantastic rendition by Auntie Jean and her parrot, William, with a lovely hello darling at the end. And parrot, I did it like that. I do think she should have told it to say hello you two. Can you buy this? [Laughing] But it won't drive you bad. She would have to throttle the parrot within about a minute and a half when she taught it to do that. Yes, it would be good, wouldn't it? So Lucy, can you remind our listeners how they can win the accolade of Dumpty Dummer of the week? I can, if you would like to sing us a Dumpty Dum, give us a plot prediction or emigrate because someone's moved your mug tree. Ring us on 02030313105 or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thanks to lovely chambrages for her amazing voices to Cosmo for his podcast round-ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Thanks also to Derek for the loan in the back bedroom. It's getting chillier now, so he decided to help people get ready for winter. But being Derek, he didn't get permission before he waded in and now he's in trouble for rotting out Auntie Christine's cold hole when she was expecting it. [Laughing] You can't rod out someone's cold hole without permission, that's what I say. Certainly not. It's kept me out of trouble. [Laughing] As a life motto, never rod out your cold hole without permission. Always ask permission. Yes. Before entering the cold hole. On this week's episode we have calls from Paul Douglas who owns up to a crush on Helen, Michelle Lafferty who has sympathy for Ruth. Claire from Scotland via Canada who thinks Ruth needs help expressing herself. Jacqueline Berto who thinks Pip is daddy's little girl. Miss Mid City says Ruth's going too far but not far enough. And with a spoon and a nacilla who both want a word with Pat. Finally, Vicki Cole who is incredulous with Alan. But first, before all that, let's hear about Lucy's week in Ambridge. Usha went round to Brookfield and it appeared to be Stir up Monday. She let it slip that the entire village was coming round to Brookers for a cowl service or something but no one had thought to mention it to Ruth of course who only lives there. Now that Ruth has talked to Jill and got her to come back and help her in the house, Ruth's complaining that Jill's come back and is helping her in the house. However, Jill is being fantastically irritating and moving everything around in Ruth's kitchen which is the single most fury making thing in the world. But this still doesn't quite explain Ruth's apparent regression to a stroppy 13 year old. What's the matter? Nothing, no tell me, no it's fine if you can't guess I'm not going to say. Tony, for the first time stood up to Rob and said, no. I like my crappy old tables and I want to have them so near and near. It's quite difficult to argue with someone who has no idea your psychotic and just blithely doesn't seem to notice your spitting fury. Good for you Tony. I mean I'm presuming you are now on Rob's hit list and you won't make it to Christmas but you know, hurrah. So anyway, it's been lovely knowing you Tony and we look forward to finding your pelvis in a silage clamp come New Year's Day. Susan is back in her element to doing a Lancashire accent that keeps sliding into Pakistani and having a go at Neil for sitting round in his pants for all to see. But she stopped moaning when Neil would discard a community asset or rather the shop was. Which means they will now have the option to buy it. Next time hazel the Slovene gets bored and decides to wind piggy up yet again. Which will no doubt be another long drawn out saga of nail biting will they won't be able to afford it but as long as it doesn't involve the sodding fair brethren I don't mind. Phoebe has passed her theory driving test which she passed bewilderingly by reading the economist on a new scientist according to Jenny Darling. Adam reminisced with Charlie about getting his horn blown on New Year's Eve. "Just in likes being associated with success" said Charlie wisely. As a business strategy it's quite unusual isn't it that as most of us prefer being associated with abject failure. I know I do. And talking of the Queen of the Albion, Jenny Darling has managed to foist her moldy old kitchen onto someone finally. "Yes the Jerry-built village hall is going to benefit from Lady Bountiful's mildewed u-bend." "Ooh how cained!" as Linda would say. "The shop is back. The village shop, that although the size of a cupboard under the stairs, seems to stock everything in the world." "What are you looking for a shoe? A pair of flip flop size 5? Oh yes. Just move the standard lumps and the self-assembly greenhouses and it's there behind the postcards on the elephants for tumbrella stands." "The first rehearsal for the calendar happened. There is a difference between naked and nude," said Linda importantly. "The difference between the two as far as I can tell is how much you have paid for it." "Some interior shots may be necessary, apparently. Good God what kind of a calendar is this?" Elizabeth helpfully pointed out that other productions had used all kinds of devices to hide behind. Artificial limbs, HRT patches and food mixers probably. Susan and Neil enjoyed a giggly snog which foretold chilly night. If I'm not mistaken, bet you any money it wasn't long before Neil was getting stuck into Susan's chimichanga. "But what are we going to do when push comes to shove?" said Lillian. Neil had to hurry out into the car park when he started imagining Kirsty and Jenny Darling pushing and shoving in the nip. Then Linda said she could tell which way the wind was blowing, which is another thing they're going to have to watch or they'll have that piano stall over. Anyway, Charlie Hartley congratulated Adam on his forthcoming nuptials. He was cheerful and philosophical about it and paused only to kick the village hall down on his way home. Clarrie made an emotional appeal to Piggy in her official role as Hazel Randler. It didn't go awfully well as emotional appeals go, so Clarrie's option is to put Joe down. It'll be sad, but they'll make sure he's got his special blanket and the vet will be very kind. I have a new drinking game I'm very much enjoying when the fair brethren feature. I wait until one cause the other one 'bro' or when one of them says 'it's a win-win' and then I imagine I'm forcing the fair brothers to drink weed killer. Pip in her unofficial role as entirely unpaid and mystifyingly enthusiastic agent for the fair brethren has now hauled them into her share farming scheme with Adam and is encouraging to hold a rugby match on Brookfield land without asking anybody. Perfect! And then we end it as we like to do with the socially awkward family celebration. The Brookers clan, except Ben and Josh, who have died, nanked Ruth hilariously about holding everyone up whilst she finished her email announcing her intention to emigrate. Quite frankly, I am not entirely sure I blame her and I hope she gets a bit of action down under to perk her up. Oh, no! The end. We haven't had an all-nor for ages, have we? No, we haven't had. She's not saying it because everyone used to take the mick, I think. It's very difficult not to interrupt you with laughing too much. I hope I didn't. Because I'm normally sort of wandering across Waterloo Station or something when I'm listening to this so everyone thinks I'm mad laughing. Crazy laughing boy! Yes, not interrupting your flow. I'd say it has been quite a week hasn't it? It has. I do think, I'm generally a great fan of Jill and I'm a great fan of, has everyone's best interest in heart at heart? When she went in on Friday and says, "I'm not coming to interrupt you, what we're doing." I actually did think, now come on, you have crossed the line, the line there. I mean, moving the mug tree, you said, "I'm irritating and it's your kitchen." But that one was too far, so, naughty Jill. I think we've got a big range of callers. Lots of things will come out during the call. So, shall we move on to the calls and we can pick up on things as they go? Hello, Ambridge 3962. Who have we got first, then? First, we have Paul Douglas. Hello, Don Tiddum. My name is Paul. Paul ID 1107 on Twitter. I am a first-time caller in a row. In an effort at keeping with the branding, I am drinking tea from my Don Tiddum mug and sitting here in my Don Tiddum t-shirt. Just my Don Tiddum t-shirt, mind. I'm one of the apparently many elected councillors listening to the podcast. So, if you are ever in need of a podcast political pundit, you know where to come. I'm an archer's novice having only been listening for nine years since 2006. The first main storyline I remember was Ruth and Sam. My secret crush has always been Helen. I seem to be sadly drawn to women who need fixing and Helen is certainly one of those. I love the odd couple relationship between Jimus and Jazza and just wish there was more of it. The character I least like is Linda, the self-important, interfering, busybody and can't understand all the love she gets. Anyway, I went to the Don Tiddum dinner on Saturday and it was lovely to put faces to names. I will name check the lovely Catherine, Kim and Sam as I was on the same table as them and not forgetting Derek in the back bedroom, of course. In terms of a prop prediction of sorts, I think the reason that Robert doesn't want Helen to meet his parents is they know about the string of baby girls that he has fathered in his attempt to sire a male heir. I also find myself feeling sympathetic to Ruth. Coming to terms with becoming an orphan amongst the smug and self-entitled archer clan is bad enough, but also having your husband replace you with your daughter is enough to make anybody feel unloved. Keep up the good work. I love the podcast and Roy Swell's other work. But he is sadly deluded in thinking Marvel is better than DC. Bye. Hate's Linda loves Helen. Well, leaving aside the loving Helen bit, Paul, which I find slightly disturbing. Although if you could counter in and rescue her right now, that would be pretty fun. Exactly. He needs to swoop in like Superman in his pants because that's all he's only wearing a t-shirt. He's only wearing a t-shirt, yes. Because on your pants, Paul, and swoop in. Yes. And yeah, he hates Linda. It's quite controversial. The thing, I hate it. During the course of the Christmas play, I hate Linda. And during the course of any campaigning of any description, I hate Linda. The rest of the time, I really like Linda. I just have to kind of suppress my urge to strangle her when she starts doing her her sunning-dale voice. That's what I can't bear. Yes. Are you Linda, Fran? I'm similar to you on Linda, actually. She can get right up your nose. But she is, well, I have think this year, or maybe the last few years, she's got much better during the casting season at playing the reverse psychology. Yes. So the way she says to someone, "Oh, no, you can't possibly do that role. You know, it's beneath you." Or the way she played, who was it, this part? Was it Kirsty or Susan? She managed to persuade Susan into it, didn't she, when she was resolutely, "I'm, there's no way." And not trying to, in all in the one meeting, she'll say, "No, I absolutely agree with you." And then she'll come back a couple of days later on a different angle. And I have enjoyed that because I think she's learning how to get away. So, I'm more in favour of Linda than against her. I do think they should send Linda and Jenny Darling into sort out Isis. I think if anyone can do it, they can, quite frankly. Although Linda Sniff has gone missing. It has, but then she's everything's going her way. She only does the sniff when things aren't going her way. But at the moment, she's, you know, when she did that ridiculous thing about them. A will be taking on the role of producer, director, you know, producer, director, lead, actor and musician and everything else. You know, she just loves it and you think, "Oh, Linda, shut up!" Although, it was nice in the way she got reversed into a corner. Oh, about that getting a kit off. Yes. Yes. Yes. That was funny. Yes, Paul. First time caller in a row. Yes. That's because I bullied him into it. Paul, at the dumpty-dum dinner, which you so shamefully failed to attend. I had tickets to go and see Jews in Worcester. Oh, was it good? It was the one that Stephen Mangum was in, but it's people now. It's on tour around the provinces. Because I saw that, but without Stephen Mangum, I saw someone else doing it. And I didn't like it. Didn't you? No. I liked the whole conceit of a play within a play. And the other two playing lots of different parts. And the way Woops just looks surprised when Jews comes back to the door because he was under the bed 30 seconds ago. Yes. So, yeah, it was a jolly romp, not the best play I've seen, but jolly romp. I think because my sister and I were to see it and we're both completely obsessed with Jews in Worcester. Well, we peed you with us in general. Yes. And we know lots of it off by heart. And when they bugger around with the dialogue, we kept doing that ridiculous, you know, when you're a real geek about something, thing of going, oh, no, that's not how. That's not how you should say that or that's not how whatever. And sort of basically ruined it for ourselves, I think is the upshot of that. But, you know, we probably should have, you know, if you're that passionate about something, probably don't go and see it, really. Because there's only going to be a gigantic gap between what you're imagining and what there is. But I thought I did love the bit where he went flying out when he nearly went flying out of the window. When his leg was tied to the thing, whatever. He was holding onto the sheets and he suddenly shot footward and then he went out the window. Oh, that was very funny. And having spowed as a giant as well. Yes. That word. Yes. That was my excuse for missing the event. Well, all right. Very sorry people. I will try and be at the next one. Yes. But Paul Douglas was my body man at the event and made sure that I didn't get lost. Go wandering off or anything else is very good. Yes. He is the first time caller in a row as is Michelle. And he did all the right things, didn't he? He told us what he was and everything. He told us everything. He told us everything. Although there was some stuff at the end that didn't mean any sense to me about Marvel and DC. Well, I do. We'll leave that one to Roy. Yes. Yes. Best move along. See you there. Michelle Laffout. Another first time caller in a row. Hello Lucy and Roy. This is Michelle from Rhode Island. I'm a psychotherapist. I'm a treat people with anxiety, panic and PTSD. And I've been a lurker for about a year. I've been listening to the archer since 2013 when Chris got kicked by the horse. I just want to call in because the Ruth story took a turn for me this week and I was really interested in how differently I'm thinking about it now. But it really seems like the script writers are setting this Ruth and David story line up against the Rob and Helen story line. You know the big difference being that David is not a jerk. He's sort of a nice regular guy who sort of recommitted himself to the farm. But the way he seems to sort of operate is his farm. And I had thought a Ruth as being pretty whiny. But now I sort of see how when her life is seemingly out of control now she's also losing her primary work identity and having some control over the business they both run. So you know Rob and Helen are working together on this business as well. And even though David is not intentionally sidelining her, he is sort of saying you're too busy. You are going through too many emotions. So I wanted you to take it easy. And that's just really hitting me wrong this week. But I must say I was pretty lethal hearing Tony set a boundary with Rob when it almost was made of the previous year's cringing worth it for that episode. So that's been pretty fun. Anyway, thank you for the show. It's totally enjoyable. And I love listening to it. Thanks. Thanks. Absolutely. Michelle. I was. Yes, what? Yes, another and a Rhode Island psychotherapist. So we are. Did she say Rhode Island? I thought she said Bird Island. Oh, maybe she said Bird Island. I think I just made up Bird Island. Nobody would live on. But it sounds like something out of the famous five. Nobody would live on Bird Island for crying out loud. But we are picking up professionals in that line of work from over the pond. Yes. I think they could probably see some sort of intervention required for Roy and me. They're doing the psychotherapy equivalent of ambulance chasing, I think. Maybe it's required listening on courses. She's talking about Ruth losing her identity. And I think you're exactly right. It is highlighted with the Helen and Rob thing. Somebody on the Archers script writing team is fantastically feminist at the moment. And I feel like jumping up and down and clapping a lot. There is that similar thing between Robin and Helen as there is between David and Ruth. Only they're kind of showing the extreme of it, which is Robin Helen. And then they're showing the actual day-to-day domestic. This is what gender roles can force you into, which is David and Ruth. Oh, Freudian slipped there. And what David's saying basically is you just do the emotion and I'll do the practical stuff. Yes. I hadn't made that connection until Michelle pointed it out. They are both in effect telling their other halves just to take it easy. And I suppose the difference must be from their starting points. Because I do see David's attempt as really just trying to be helpful. And Rob's as being controlling. And I know I think it's Claire. We come on to Claire later and about racking and cotton wool. And I get all of that. But I hadn't made the parallel in my mind. And I think Michelle's got a real point there. I bet when you are preoccupied or when you are anxious or when you are grieving, it's really nice to take your mind off things. You don't want to sit in wallow because it doesn't make it any better. You can't change your fix. What's happened? So, you know, just as a man would say, I just need to take my mind off it. Women do the same thing. But apparently we are supposed to just sit and weep until we stop weeping. That seems to be David's sort of just sit there and cry. And then when you're human again, I'll get on with ignoring you. And he's just sort of terrified of things he can't control. And emotionally doesn't understand and everything else. He's just a bit of a plank in emotional terms, isn't he? Yeah. He's farmed centric, as we've said in the last few weeks. He likes to do to solve things by wading in and helping. I think goes wrong in the village. He wants to be there, like, you know, in the flood and the committee afterwards. And, you know, he's sort of a voice of the village and sort of gets on and does it and likes to sort people's problems out for them that way. But not in a come down the pub, you know, spill your heart out to me and I'll, you know, I'll talk to you and listen to you and let you download. It's more of the practical thing. And that's quite a sort of a blokey thing, isn't it, really? And I suppose there's nothing practical he can do here. And he's just feeling incredibly guilty and thinks, well, the less she does surely, that will mean the better she will feel. And it doesn't work like that. Yes. So he's completely misread. Yeah. She needs. Yeah. You know, in the situation. And complicated, by the way, Pips stood up. But we'll come back to Pips later on with one of the other calls. And what it did make me think about David and Rob, and we approach it differently because of where we think their starting point is. And I'm probably going to get shot. I can sense David Dagger's coming at me now. But I've got to say it anyway. The duck does Rob think he's doing a David? Or is Rob really trying to control? Does he just think that wrapping Helen in cotton wool is what she needs? Well, he- That's his sanitised version of what he thinks she needs. But his motivation, it's the motivation that's different, isn't it? He wants to control. David doesn't want to control. David just wants an easy life and he's panicking because he doesn't understand what it is Ruth wants. And David's got the farm and the birthright, Rob's trying to get. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But also, he just needs, as we said last week, he just needs to control everything he sees. Yeah. And just what I remember, talking about Rob and the precedent of Ruth running away, because it was Rob who sent Tom away. Yeah. And at the time, I didn't really think much was he meddling in trying to send him away. But maybe that was the start of his plans to- Yeah, absolutely. If he's hands-on bridge farmer. It was. Yeah. Because he's got, Rob thinks like a lot of these people, he thinks of this type of people. He thinks of people in tribal terms. And he sees Tony as the silverback, the tribal elder who's now fading into the background. He sees Tom as his threat to alpha male control of the farm. Yeah. Yeah. And so he gets rid of him. And that's, I think, Tom is where the hell has Tom been? Tom's been silent for about a month or so. Yes. And we missed, we missed, sausage week. Sausage week was a couple of weeks ago. And I had, I don't know where it was. How in God's name did you know it was sausage week? I don't know. It must have been something on Facebook or Twitter or something I saw, but not on the archers. Nothing to do with sausages. What so ever. To be honest though, we've had so much about flipping sausage week and ready meals and all that. But I don't think anyone could bear listening to Tom, even if it is a different Tom. Wishing on about sausages ready meals anymore. Ah. Next call is similar. Claire from Scotland via Canada. Hello down to you. Claire from Scotland via Canada here. Calling me because I think like so many people, I'm frustrated with the Ruth storyline. And I don't find it at all convincing that there's any kind of crisis between her and David at the moment because we've been given no evidence really prior to now that there is one. And she's really heard to say, "Oh, will it all start back during the miscarriage?" I don't think it did. What did start then, and what I think has been consistently done, is Ruth's reaction to grief. She grieves by doing things if that makes sense. She needs to be involved in life around her to emotionally move on from where she is at a given moment. For reasons best known to the script writers, she has spectacularly failed to convey this to everyone at Brookfield, which is I think why nobody at Brookfield has processed this particular piece of information vital to the makeup of Ruth. I hope that's why there haven't, because there is no right or wrong way to do coping with the death. And clearly, the archers of Brookfield do coping by wrapping one another in cotton wool, and that's very much not what Ruth needs, but I would really like her to tell them that that's not what she needs and to tell them emphatically what she does need, because while being wrapped in cotton wool would drive me mad, the thing that is currently driving me mad is actually the way they're handling this plot line. I don't want to be left to my own devices to psychoanalyze Ruth, I want it to be there somewhere in the plot, and I know they can do it, because they've done a spectacular job of writing the emotional underlay of Helen and Rob. So if they could balance the two of them, I would be an exceedingly happy listener. And, well, admittedly, I'd have less cause to calling to you, but I'd certainly continue listening. Yes, why does Ruth not say what she wants? I think it is because Ruth does not know what she wants, apart from blind fury with her family. I think it's unresolved anger from the move to Prada that never happened. The abrupt changing of the mind of David, and I think the flood happened, and she had to kind of swallow all that, and just swallow being cross, and just say, "It's fine, it's fine, I'm really glad you're okay, I'm really glad." Thank you for saving the finish, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but that anger has to go somewhere. It doesn't just dissipate, you can kind of squash it while you're, you know, grateful that somebody is still alive or whatever. But it does come back, and I think what she's suffering with now, or dealing with now, is misguided anger from that, really. She never, ever said to David, "Have you any idea how bloody furious I am with you for messing everybody around in the way that you did, making a unilateral decision, not telling me, blah, blah, blah." Yeah, and I think that has more credibility to it than the going back to the miscarriage. Yes. I didn't get that, that's sort of too far back without any signposts or anything along the way. But it is so awful that David is talking to Pip and his mother about his problems with Ruth. Yes. My god, I was thinking, "Are you mad, man? What is the matter with you?" Well, he's confided in his mother before, but Pip, that's crossing a line, really. Yeah, it really is. You know, you just keep quiet and you deal with it, you rush your own, you rush your dirty linen and private sort of thing. You know, she, if she finds out about that, she will, she won't come back. Well, certain people will be happy, wouldn't they? I know, some of you people judging by Twitter. But I think the whole sort of rapping and cotton wool claire, I thought that was very, very good. And she did tell the script writers off, sounded very, very stern, I thought, about the script writers and what they need to do to get themselves back on track. Well, yeah, it's like Royph says, though, because of the depth of back story and subtlety that's gone into Robin Helen, everyone else feels a bit spray painted on, don't they? It's kind of, we don't have any depth because there's so much depth there. It's just like everyone else is just like, "Oh, they're having a bit of a row about something. We haven't got time to go into that anyway." There you are, done! Off, next, you know. Hi there, it's Jacqueline Bertow from San Gwen in France. Been thinking about that David and Pip relationship and comparing it with Adam and Brian. And Adam's had to fight his way into the farm and he still kind of battles with Brian, but they also have that kind of battery jolly side of the relationship, which we saw one day this week. Whereas David and Pip's relationship is very different. Yeah, I know she's younger and she's newer to farming, but she really is still daddy's little girl. I think it sort of started to replace Ruth with Pip on the farm, which obviously, for obvious reasons, because she was off in proder and dealing with Heather, et cetera. But personally, I think she's being handed it all on a plate. I'm talking about Pip now, sorry. She's kind of been handed it all on a plate, which means it'll all end badly, but on a completely other subject, I am beginning to get really, really angry with Pat. But also with Helen, when she said that thank you for not getting angry with me about the speeding fine, well, I could have smacked her. Then after the bump in the car, Pat's jumped right into Bob's side, side-learning of Helen plans. Oh, it makes me want to spit. Jacqueline Bertow says Pip has been handed it all on a plate. Yes, she has. I think that my plot prediction is that Ruth is going to go away, and I think that something is going to go spectacularly wrong with this rugby thing, somehow, because she hasn't mentioned it to anybody. And I think millions of who-rays are going to descend on Brookers and start doing their rugby thing all over the place and churn up all the land, because it makes a hell of a mess, rugby, doesn't it? Yes, I don't know where they're going to do this sort of touch. Well, she said here, or he said one of the third brethren said here. Did that mean, is there a little sort of, now they've brought the geese in? Yeah, in the geese. Are they going to do them on the paddock where they had the geese, in which case? Yeah. And then they fall over to their armpits in Goose Doodoo. Goose Doodoo. Oh, it's not like Roy for tall. He wouldn't have said Goose Doodoo. I was like, "Yeah, well, I think that's all going to go very wrong." And David is going to say, "What the hell were you doing?" And then he's going to remember that actually she is not his contemporary. She is his child. She is only 21 or whatever it is. She has never been an independent farmer without having lots of money and parental support to back it up. And Ruth will come back and tea. Well, appreciate her. And the whole thing will all be wrapped up in three weeks. I think Pip will get a bit distracted by her beef with Adam. Does she mean her beef with Adam as in the gangway or you mean? No, I think she'll be over there doing so much of that that she won't be pulling her weight at brookers. And then David will turn around and realise, "Hang on a second, what am I missing?" Yeah. And then there'll be lots of, we'll have to endure lots of calls to New Zealand. Ruth, come back, come back. Yeah, I miss you, love. I can hear the gangway now. I'm getting depressed already. I reckon Sam, the cow man's out there, waiting for her, with his insemination device. Yeah, she was very disappointed at being able to. She was. She clearly gets a lot out of the insemination, doesn't she? Yes. Bloody hell. I've just got images of a wandering like a lost soul around the farm with a syringe full of bullcy. Wandering what she's supposed to do with it, you know. Jacqueline is also very, very cross with Pat and Helen. There's lots of smacking and spitting going on. Yes. But Pat's reference is, and a throwback to the 2006 car crash that I'd completely forgotten. Yeah. And I think this is where the archers are good, in that they bring back into all those people who weren't listening in 2006 or like me. Oh, yes, we ought to tell people what happened. A completely forgotten. Well, they posted this week on a Facebook page, a summary back of what happened at the car crash, and a clip of the actual when she knocked Mike over. So they have put that back up there. And it is a good way of reinforcing the history of the back story of the characters. So you can understand Pat, which I didn't at the time until I read this later on. I thought, well, that sort of backs up why Pat has this sort of reaction about, oh, don't drive when you're stressed, because last time after Greg's death, it all went, she'd completely mishandled herself on the road, and she's not good at coping with stress. And the other thing with Pat and the comment, or maybe pick that up later about why, as part of Witherspoons, oh, I don't know, I'm starting, about Pat. Why, you know, she's a strong feminist, is she threatened by Helen? Why does she treat her like a little girl? But we've got to remember that when Helen was born, she was very, very ill. She was in a full body cast for months, spinal operations. Again, I can't remember the details. But, you know, she was a little sort of China doll, maybe, wasn't she? So she did need lots of... Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my hundredth mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited to premium wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim-blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch, whatever you're ready. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of seat details. A little self-care can go a long way, especially amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays. That's where Vegamore comes in. Trusted by millions, Vegamore is all about giving your hair the love and care it deserves. With their vegan and cruelty-free formulas, you can nourish and revitalize your strands while indulging in some much-needed pampering. Because let's face it, who couldn't use a bit more me time this time of year? Go to vegamore.com/acast, code ACAST. That's V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R.com/acast, code ACAST. Forging ahead together drives Colorado's pioneering spirit. At Chevron, we donate funding and volunteer thousands of hours in support of the communities we call home. We also employ our neighbors to deliver the energy needed as the state's largest oil and natural gas producer. All to help improve lives in our shared backyard. That's Energy in Progress. Visit Colorado.chefron.com Of special care, and maybe that's hardwired into Pat's reactions to Helen the whole time. And also I think Pat needs to keep Helen young because it means she's sort of frozen in time like John. That she's kind of... Helen hasn't moved on. There's a resistance for her in everybody aging, everybody getting everything changing, leaving people behind. Because John won't grow old. Yeah, exactly. And I think there's an element of that, possibly. Yeah, I've never seen Twitter react in the way that it did when Pat said, "Maybe you shouldn't be driving." It just went absolutely bonkers and I was going, "Pat, what are you doing?" I think partly as well, she's trying to convince herself that Helen is as happy as Helen keeps telling everybody she is or was telling everybody she is. She's stopped that now, thank goodness. And I think Pat is relieved that Helen has found somebody that Pat is under the impression he's a good thing for her. And if you think about the roles at Bridge Farm, Pat is the optimist. She has to be the optimist. Balance out Cody's pessimist. Which we've thankfully not seen much of recently. But all the way through their life together, Pat's been like, "Come on, we'll make it through." Yeah, it's not that bad and Tony's where he's me. The glass is empty and it's all kind of ending doom. Not Tony is the glass empty, but it's gone all damaged. Yes. We're all doomed. Yeah, so yes, it's a sad old time that I, as we keep saying, "Please stop it soon." And it will. We've kind of bustled up all those calls all together, but that's all right. That's all right. Miss Mid City. Hi, it's Miss Mid City. I am just trying to process Ruth's bombshell announcement that she is going to New Zealand. I've listened to the episode on Ketchup. I was left thinking where the hell did that come from? It's not without precedent because Tom ran off after his non-marriage to cause he ran up to Canada with a bit of help. But Ruth going to New Zealand because she is sad, she is unhappy in her marriage, she feels surplus to requirements on the farm, and she has been the brief recently, and the only way to get her head clear is to be on the other side of the world. Mm-hmm. Makes no sense to me. Probably completely logical in her mind. And you know, something Ruth go, but please don't come back. Please don't. It's just a ridiculous thing to do. I'm thinking now, it must be because the actress is going to be out of action for a period of time. That's if she actually does go, and I'm willing, willing her to stick to her guns and be gone, because I don't need her toxicity, as well as the toxicity coming from Rob, don't need a double dose of it. Now be gone, Ruth, and if New Zealand wasn't, you know, New Zealand's not far enough, you know, so it's blood spirit suggested on the forum. Yeah, next up, the moon. Please. I think it is logical that actually that Ruth would want to run away and get as much distance. The thing you always think when you want to run away, it seems like a good idea, and then you realise that you have to take yourself with you, and then you think, "Ah, well really, if the problem is me and I'm running away, I am running away and I'm still here." I'm not sure it's going to help her. No, it's not where she thinks it's where she is, that's the problem, but it isn't, it's what's happening to her as an individual. But I do think going off to do something by herself, because she hasn't had any time to just be on her own, be by herself, be, you know, she's been worrying about her mum for ages, and then she's having to deal with the archer's clan and all the stuff with Kenton kicking off and everything that kind of isn't about her, really. So if she wants to go off and get a bit of, I mean, I'm not sure going to New Zealand is, you know, but if that opportunity presented itself, I can see why she would want to go, really. Yeah, it's the practicalities that sort of niggled me, you know, she's not got probate yet, still got to sort all that out, so she hasn't got the money come through. So if she'd done that, and also she said, right, I want to do something for me now, I've had a horrible year, I'm going to go, I'm having a sabbatical. Yeah. I'm going to go and study dairy techniques in New Zealand. Yeah. Fine. Yeah, it makes sense, but she can't just run away now, she's not sorted, she's not sorted probate, she's not sorted. And also what about the boys? Yes. You know, two weeks ago apparently they couldn't feed themselves and we're going to starve to death. Yes. And although, how old is Josh? I don't, well, he seems to, the way that they talk about him, it seems to be the sort of sliding thing. One minute, he's all, you know, excited about something in quite a childish way. The next minute, she's always not interested in helping me do that because he's, that's Ben, isn't it, the little one? Yeah, but Josh is supposedly 15. Oh, the thing that... No, he's just passed his driving test, doesn't he? I don't know why I didn't call in that week, there must have been something happening. I think it was the week I started my new job, but when he went up to drive the van down, with all the, on his own, with all Heather Petz belongings, you know, he's, he wouldn't get insurance to drive a van on his own if he's just passed his test and he's not over 21. I'm, I'm, I'm standing a bit, all practicalities are coming out now. You are sounding very cosmo, man. My inner cosmo. It just, it annoyed me at the time, and I just, I must have got distracted and didn't, didn't, didn't sort of call it out, but the boys have gone missing anyway. Yes, they're just vanished, gone mute, vanished, died, who knows? But I think Miss Mid City, I did, you're sounding very Old Testament this week. Be gone! Be gone with you! Ah, we had several begolds. I was chuckling away when I, when I heard that, that was so good. But, you know, they're all going to, you can't just decide to do that, and I thought, well, it's not like making unilateral decisions that upset other people. It's not the exclusive province of David, is it? You know, we can all do that. Hello Lucy and Roy Fields and everyone. I hope you can hear the crickets again. I know in the overall scheme of all things arches related, this is really trivial, but it, it annoyed me, it irritated me how do the scriptwriters think that Alan has managed to get a cathedral choir to come to a little village church on Christmas Eve? It's just not realistic. Sorry, annoyed with the script writers. Bye! Vicky Cole called in from Kimya again with the crickets in the background. It's great. We've had pirates and crickets this week. It's fantastic. Yes, I could hear the crickets this week. Yeah, I know. She says another plot toll. Well, how did Alan get a cathedral choir to come to Ambridge on Christmas Eve? Well, I agree. There's a former cathedral chorus. There's no way you will be wandering far from your own patch on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Very, very busy. So, yes, completely wrong. But talking about plot holes, I missed that completely unless it was last night Sunday, which I haven't listened to. I didn't hear that this week. It was right. No, it was the first scene of Monday. It was, oh, I'm so sad. It was when Usha went to visit Ruth and said, "Oh, yes, well, all the bars coming to the cathedral choir." Oh, it was Usha. Yes. Not Alan. Usha was saying that Alan had booked it. Yeah. It slipped me by that one. But yes, if I had realised it, I would have exercised my eye as well. If you were a chorister, when you were a chorister, what time do you start on Christmas Eve? Well, the whole week... Where were you a chorister? Which cathedral? Christchurch, Oxford. Oh, OK. It's actually a great time for choristers because all the rest of the school go home and the week no lessons, all you're doing is singing, but you're still living at school. So you're just like you and 15 other brothers and playing games when you're not singing and being... And everyone feels very sorry for your poor choristers. And you're having a whale of a time, secrets. We've not taken to the cinema art of different parties, to fire stations and police stations that take us... Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little sort of treats, loads of carol services, loads of ordinary services. But Christmas Eve, we had a big carol service cathedral packed a bit like the... How old were you? What goes on? About eight until I was 13. So you missed Christmas Eve with your family? Yeah, on Christmas day, we had to stay till lunchtime, so two services Christmas morning. And then Mum and Dad would collect me and I would open my stocking on the M40 driving back to the Buckinghamshire. Did... It was great. Did you not miss it? It was a wonderful thing. It became... Mum and Dad would come up for the carol service on Christmas Eve, so it was great. And then we'd have the Dean's party afterwards. And then the service is Christmas Day. It's great. I feel sorry, the Westminster Abbey boys have to stay and do even some on Christmas day. And I always felt a bit sorry for them. I had a friend of mine who was of course there, but we could go on at lunchtime on Christmas day. We'd be home and then we'd eat sort of five o'clock Christmas day, so it was fine. It was great. Anyway, you there. How about I said you to sleep? No! No, no, no, no, I'm interested. It seems very harsh for little boys to miss, not be with their families on Christmas Eve. I'm fine. Or some people may say that's where it all started going wrong. Yes! So I... but I did enjoy Miss Mids'... is, erm, Old Testament be gone. And next up the mood. Moon in the mood. Rooch on the moon. I think, I think, um, nozzilla's call actually goes into the same one as Witherspoons. Goes with Witherspoons. Hello, come to dumb. It's Alison or Nossilla63 as I am on Twitter here. I haven't found in for absolutely ages, so I thought this week I would. Initially, I just wanted to say thank you for last week. It was such a fantastic opportunity to meet fellow dumpty dummers and arches listeners. And just to have a chat about the programme that we so much enjoy, erm, it was lovely. And I'm really sorry Royal Field, but I didn't get a chance to chat with you. And I hope to rectify that at the next available opportunity. But it was lovely to have a little few minutes or a few minutes with Lucy. And brilliant, actually, just to speak to so many people who don't think that you're completely bonkers when you want to talk about the arches. But that wasn't my main reason for phoning in. My main reason this week was to talk about the storylines concerning Pat and Ruth. I, like many others, are becoming increasingly irritated, frustrated, anxious, annoyed. Lily is appropriate with the Helen and Rob storyline. But what is irritating me more than ever at the moment is the complete character turnaround that we're having from Pat. This week she even sided with Rob and agreed that Helen should perhaps stop driving. I just find that just unbelievable. It is so out of character. This is not the Pat that we know. I did believe first that maybe she was doing it because she thought that Helen needed her support. And then Helen thought that she believed in Rob, that would help. But I can't believe that she hasn't seen through that now, she doesn't realise how difficult Helen is finding all of this. And to agree that Helen should now give up driving because she's pregnant is just beyond the pale. Speaking of messing about with characters, I was almost apoplectic with rage on Friday evening's episode when Ruth calmly announced that she was off to New Zealand. I mean, do the script writers really think we are that gullible? New Zealand? It's the other side of the world. I understand that Pat has been, that Ruth has been through a lot recently. And I understand that she is perhaps feeling that it's all a bit much. She's lost her mum. She's got Jill moving back into Brookfield. She's feeling ousted by David and Pip. And let's be honest, who wouldn't. New Zealand? It's just ridiculous. I couldn't decide whether to get so angry or whether to just laugh. In the end, I ended up doing a bit of both. Anyway, the only thing that saved this last week's episodes I think was the lovely repotty between Susan and Neil. I thought it was a bit sad that they're nicking all the best lines and not leaving any of them for those of us on Twitter, but there you go. Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling, toss salads and scrambled eggs. Massive. Greetings, Lucy Royfield. In all dumb tea dimmers around the world, it's Witherspoon and Angus Haggis here wishing you a happy American Thanksgiving. We've been waiting for a 20-pound Grundy bird, but now realize that it's actually the customs agents who will be dining on Ambridge's fine fowl. Quite a lot to consider this week. First, I thought your joint analysis of Rob in the last dumb tea dim was spot on. Well done for Tony standing up to Rob's bullying, and if it weren't for Tony being his father-in-law, I think Rob's hair-trigger temper may have led to a sock in the nose, like that photographer at the hunt received. And then, of course, frazzled Helen, getting into an accident. Yes, we get the point that bad things keep happening to her, so Rob can further take away her independence. But to be betrayed by her own mother, a few episodes back, I wondered about the relationship between Pat and Helen. Pat, the strong woman who juggles being a wife, mother, organic farmer, businesswoman, and community activist, who treats her adult daughter like a child. Is it only out of concern for her well-being? But is it also because she feels threatened by someone else being successful at multitasking? One more thing about Rob. His reasons for not going to Adam's wedding were so obviously hypocritical considering his affair with Helen. It was a wonder that even Helen didn't call him out on it. And I am worried that he will blow up the nuptials at the last minute by spilling the beans about Charlie and Adam. Maybe that is what will turn this family against him. Until that scene between Helen and Rob, I had full confidence in Adam and Ian tying the knot, but now I'm not so sure. And prior to the 715 Friday surprise, I had this good analogy between Helen and Ruth planned. Both of them have been feeling disempowered. Helen suffers in silence and her growing number of mistakes reflects the strength of her inner conflicts. On the other hand, Ruth was beginning to open up and talk about her feelings of being left out. And I thought that she and David would work things out. But then Ruth goes and uses the nuclear option. She's leaving David and the children and getting as far away from the Archer family as possible. Well, I'm sure she'll be returning him the not too distant future. Maybe New Zealand was on her bucket list. Again, does anyone in this village consider going to a therapist? And as I said before, the script writers have certainly done out of their way to create a crisis when some obvious communication between husband and wife could have averted this. Now, on the lighter side, if all the women in the cast, including Linda, are going topless, why didn't they turn to Neil and request that he do so as well? And if we have our own calendar and Royfield agrees to take off his top, then I will follow suit. Heck, Angus will do the full nude. It's much more artful than naked. Royfield, what do you think? Would you spoon an Angus haggis, waiting for your answer and signing off? Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs, mercy. There were a lot of clues. There are a lot of clues around for Pat to pick up about how Helen's feeling. Like when she said, "Oh, no, I don't want to go home. I'm fine here." She said, "Well, you can work from home." And she said, "Oh, no, I'm better off coming in here and everything." And Pat's not picking up any of them, and I think Pat is willfully not picking up any of them because she's still hoping against hope that Rob is the answer for Helen rather than just another disastrous chapter in the story of Helen. With a spoon was going to, as of his services, and Angus in his arty nude, but will let Royfield respond to that? Yes. You better check with Angus whether or not he's happy because he will have to sign some sort of consent form to be taken without his collar on. We're giving Royfield. If you don't turn up at a meeting, don't be surprised if you get all the actions. Yes, exactly. Royfield, you've got to go back to Paul Douglas on Marvel and DC. You've got to go back to Witherspoon on the calendar. And we've also put you down to run the raffle as well. What? That's the good next. Deary me, so we're going to have a break for our sponsors, and I refuse to drink Camp Coffee. I'm sorry, Roy, but I've got some nice Colombian. Have you? I thought you sounded perky. Colombian free trade. I'll have a bit of that, and what do you want today? I'm also on the Colombian free trade, but that's too well involved. Coffee, yes. Good. And then a bit of a bit of Millie Bell from Down Under. It's the story of a cultural superpower that danced and sprinted its way to success. It brought the world reggae, calm power, rasters, hip hop, bob molly, much more. Its story is told to you in full colour for your podcasting years. It's the story of how Jamaica conquered the world. Search for it on iTunes. How Jamaica conquered the world. It's probably the best least known podcast and podcast on. Search for it today. My name is Kate. My name is Jo. My name is Nicola. My name is Suzanne Herkini. My name is Mary Parkinson. I'm in... I hope I was as a client. I have had addiction issues... I'm... I hope I was as a client. I was in the collegiate meeting to some heroin crayons. And addiction drugs. Methadone. Oh my god. I'm here because it got really bad. At long last, a thousand and one conversation is available to download from iTunes and all good podcatchers. This was a place where women worked to help other women. Hello. Just a quickie. Sarah Smith's cloths are really useful. If you soak them in gin, they make a marvellous molotov cocktail if you ever get the desire to burn down a yurt. Sarah Smith for the posher washer. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm? Something comforting. You can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a dum-dee-dum mug from the shop at dum-dee-dum.com? Feels damn lovely. Good day everyone. After a really slow week last week, this week just went bananas. It was absolutely bananas on Facebook. Almost couldn't keep up. There were certainly lots to talk about this week. And we'll start with Linda Curtis from Artisannevers Appreciation. She said, "I think Helen may be planning something to make a getaway from Rob eventually with the children. She is standing up to him and doing what she wants to do as far as work goes. And maybe wrong though, we will have to wait and see. The sound of Rob's voice gives me the creeps. Very cleverly acted. And the reason I read that post was that I do think it is really cleverly acted as well. Lavender Lovejoy said, "Finally, someone is standing up to Rob. I found that very satisfying." This was a really common thing. People love Tony standing up to Rob. Ruth Simpson in the Artisannevers. Tony, yes. I think I love him. Jane Wilcox in Artisannevers Appreciation. Go Tony, go. Tell him. And Jack Raymond in the Artisannevers. Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice. At long last, someone has stood up to that horrible bully psychopathic Nazi Rob. Well done Tony. This was gorgeous moment on the Artisannevers this week. Christo in Artisannevers' appreciation said, "Neil in his underpants, Susan talking dirty. Herbie Robert taking photos of naked women. A conspiracy to force in to get her kit off." Was I really listening to the artist currently having a lie down while spanning self with a newspaper? Susan Dimok, whenever Pat failed to support her daughter, I think of the scene in the final battle in the final Harry Potter film. When Mrs Weasley guards her daughter with her one of the seats, not my daughter, ya bitch. Now that is a mum. Perhaps things aren't quietly enough yet, Pat to lift up her wand. So Susan Dimok in The Ambridge at it's many people across the Facebook pages to degree with you. A lot of confusion about why Pat the feminist is just not supporting her daughter. Stuart Arendelle, upstairs at the bull. Kenton has a small part in calendar girls. Sniggas. Helen Goddard, upstairs at the bull. David on the way to the restaurant. I don't suppose I'll shoot us if we're five minutes late. You'd have thought they might have cut that line. And there was a lot of debate about that. But these are recorded six weeks ahead, and obviously things can change in world events. So I'm sure that no offense was meant. Carol Walker raised something interesting in artist appreciation. She said, "I have a question. Claire called Peggy Mrs. Woolley, and Peggy calls Clara Clara. This irritates me possibly more than it ought, and I ask myself, is this inequality due to class? Or is Clara sharing respect to a much older person?" It was a good question. I hadn't really noticed, but I will be listening for it now. Susie Sue Bebinton in us is just appreciation, says, "What has New Zealand ever done to deserve that?" Oh, now this also was quite topical across the pages. Fiona Jones, upstairs at the bull, said, "Who else hopes that Keepers Cottage is empty for months due to high rent?" And a lot of people were saying, "Why don't the grandies just move in and see what happens? Play that because they have got the two months?" And it's actually, I must admit, because I'm a bit of a fighter myself, my first instinct would be to move in and just see what happens. They've got nothing to lose because they're going to have to move out of great gables anyway. Julia Robertson on Ambridge Addix said, "I heard a lovely lady on the radio a few years ago, whose job it was to sit in on TA script meetings and deal with continuity, realism, et cetera." She said she would say things like, "No, no, David would be looking at that time so you can't put him in the bull." Or so-and-so wouldn't do that, it's out of character. This thing to pattern Ruth over the last few days, I can only assume she's been retired. And then we had a fair bit of activity on our page. The one I'd like to highlight today is one that Royfield posted. He said, "This has unwanted it for years, now their wish has been granted. Ambridge will be ruthless. What a way to start the weekend." I think I can hear the bells at St Stephen's ringing. Kate Swift responded, "A newly single David could add a spark to the village. Will Susan leave Neil giving the farm manager the boot in favour of £7 million? Sorry, not tolerance, land-owning farmer? Or will Hazel Willy soften and trade property development for Wellies? Or maybe Ian will trade chef whites at Grey Gables for Jill's Flurry Pinney after his and Adam's inevitable breakup? Oh, that's a bit sad. I was hoping they were forever. Gone will be the chicken's feet of Ruth's regime and in with Quail in a court reduction of fennel three ways. There are some responses to that, so please get over to our Facebook page and check it out. And this week we would love to see you because I think the drama is not quite over. Hooray! Hooray! Thank you, Millie Bell! That was quite a bumper crop from the book of Face Millie Bell. It was. So it was just the one that again passed me by. Even though I was listening hard this week with a reference to, should they have taken the line out about David saying, "Well, they won't shoot us if we're five minutes late to the restaurant." Yeah! I never even picked that up! I didn't pick it up. I didn't pick it up, so that must have been Friday evening. I think, you know, when it's funny, it's very strange. There are two distinct types of watches, listeners, I think. When there is horrific shit going on in the world, there are people that, like me, I'm one of these people, go into Ambridge as an escape. And just complete. You've got a little part of your brain. The rest of my brain is full up with deadlines and things I've got to write, and I've got to remember which child is going to which to me, Paul, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And there is a little corner of my brain, which is designated, Ambridge and Peace, and something I don't have to do anything about. So it just becomes this little bit like Blanding's castle is in Woodhouse. It's just this little sort of fence-off enclave bit where reality doesn't impinge. Which is interesting. I never pick up on any of this stuff, and some people look at what's happened in the archers as a kind of an adjunct to what's happened in the week on the news and things like that. And so I would never occur to me to put those lines together in that context at all, because I don't listen in that way, but some people always do. Which is also why if the storylines get too tricky and in your face... People get very incensed because that little world, that lovely little world has just been invaded. Yeah, I get that. I get that. Archers is the sort of the peace and calm and everything's all right. Yeah. And even if it isn't, you know it probably will be in about two weeks' time. And you don't have to do anything about it, but then when reality starts to sort of creep into it, I get a huge sense of relief sometimes when I'm listening to a radio comedy. I know this is going to make me sound completely nuts, but never mind. Something like Round the Horn or something daft. And I just think, oh lovely, I'm not... I don't have to emote to this at all. I don't have to respond in any sort of emotional way. I can just let the gang's wash over me. It's so lovely. I don't need to empathise or anything because a lot of what I do as a job and other stuff is sort of about empathy. And I can just listen in isolation. I don't need to give any of myself away to listen to this. I can enjoy it and it doesn't ask anything from me. Does that sound nuts? It doesn't. No. We all need that sort of little quiet space to go to. I think a lot of people use radio for that because you're sitting there doing nothing and then your mind can sort of crowd in. So something's happening, but it's something that's just going to occupy enough of your mind but not too much and crowd in. So if I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain starts going whirring round, I tend to put on a podcast, something that's like Peter Day's World of Business or something that's... Oh, I can actually fall asleep too that will just take enough of my brain away but stops me whirring around about what I otherwise I might as well just get up and get on with it. Which it's on four in the morning is not nothing to do. No. So, good. Right, so Lucy. Yes. What are your top five #TheArchers tweets of the week? Well, this week was quite tricky really because they were mostly all about Ruth. There wasn't nobody tweeted about anything else. It was quite difficult to find anything that wasn't about Ruth. But anyway, I did like Rich Cuts' tweet because I often think this. He said, "I am missing the archers for my son's college concert. I bet they killed Rob and I miss it. I'm terrified I'm going to miss Rob's comeuppance." Door Oliver said, "Why is Pat being the voice of the Saudi Arabian government?" Stephen Perkins said, "A better use for Ruth's inheritance, tickets to New Zealand for David, Pip and Jill. One way." Yes, exactly. Peter Woodhead said, "Oh, Rob's had a rotten week. Tony's tables, Helen's fine and the car crash, boring job application to do and now when I need some tomato salad." Yes, half bleeds. And Denise Tomlinson Dusty's substance says, "Yay!" who said, "She just put two weeks, two weeks, two weeks, and that's it." I missed that. I missed Dusty's tweet. The way they are talking, it's like she's leaving the farm for good, isn't it? Well, what's she doing? Where's she going? She can't go all right. So she spent more than two weeks away up in Prudha. Why does it matter where she is? It's just that she's not there and they managed perfectly well. It's you've done something that hasn't been agreed by all of us and we didn't know, which is exactly what they're doing to her. So I'm not your biggest fan, Ruth, but I have massive sympathy with you and you go and enjoy yourself and take a nice long time coming back. I'm not sure she will enjoy herself. We'll have, like you said, they'll have lots of fun conversations, won't we? Funny times of the day and night. Oh dear, dear, dear, dear. Oh, I've really enjoyed this. We haven't finished yet. Keep going. I know we've got all the wrap-up stuff to do, but I have really enjoyed this. Have you got enough room, by the way, at the end of Derek's bed? Yes, perfect on here. I've always wondered what the back bedroom looked like. I know, it's nice, isn't it? It is. Well, no, it's not nice. What is it? It's functional and there's a bit of a smell, but I think that could kind of probably describe Derek just as well as the room. If you change the brown and orange colour scheme, it would look better. Have you got the bed with the spring poking out? Be careful when you sit back. It's like a lumber puncture if you're not careful. But, anyway, Roy Field has given me strict instructions. Do you know how I had a little practice with Roy Field? And it was very strange, me trying to be him and him being you. Very, very speak. Anyway, shop news. It terrifies me that Harriet, one day, is going to do an impression of me, and it terrifies me even more, but more if it might. I'll tell you what, bloody hell. Yes, so the shop, yes, Christmas is coming. The geese are getting fat. I'm pleased to put a penny in the Roy Field's hat. Yes, and who wouldn't be happy finding a little bit of Roy Field in their Christmas stocking? Absolutely. So there are lots of goody goodies there, and don't worry, we won't spill the beans. I probably won't be asked back. Do buy lots of dumpty-dum merch for your loved ones. That will be great. And also the site, and I have to say I'm not very good at going on the site and on the forums, but I have been on this week to have a little lurk. And there are lots and lots of lovely things going on on the forums. I love the way the articles are sort of following each other. So there's a roof enough is enough, and then a pat enough is enough. Everybody, enough of it. Stop. That's it, but you can add your articles to the site, you can comment on the shows and message the other listeners and call the rinderers directly. And if you want to keep the show on the road, there are two ways that this can be done. You can go to patreon.com/dumptydum and find us to support the show for $2, or if you want to simply donate, you can go to dumptydum.com and hit the donate button on the site. Remember to get in contact, you can send us a voice message via speak pipe on the site, or call 0203, 031 3105 to leave us a message. Or you can find @dumptydum on Twitter, or tweet "royfield @royfield" Me @lucyv3mon Me @ AndrewHornUK Or Sarah Smith @ Sarah_Smith, and that's it. We've done. I've really enjoyed that. Have you? Yes. Thank you Roy Field for asking me. Did you feel nervous? No. No. Well, it's because your family isn't it, because you know how it all sounds. Yes. And we've met before sitting here on the back bedroom, and I think Roy first asked me at the summer, do, would I think about it? And then when I saw him for lunch in September, he said, "Now, I'm serious about this." So as a backup, so there we are. That's very good. Now we're now... Well, you did very well. Thank you. Thank you. We just got to see if you can patch it all together. Yes. Well, it's a bit of a miracle worker. Sometimes we have, if the Skype goes down kind of, you know, 14 times in one thing. And I end up, he says, "Send me the files." And I end up sending him like seven files. And I think, "Oh my God." And somehow he manages to do it all. I don't know how. Well, he said he'll be sitting there with baited breath waiting for it to come. So... Blindly. I better send it now than so he can un-bait. Indeed. Good. Well, thank you very much. Thank you. Have a nice rest of the day. We'll do. See you later. Bye. Bye. Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why? Because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt. It can even help fund an education. And guess what? Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think. In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is. So with state farm life insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank. Not sure where to start? State Farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget. Get started today and contact a state farm agent or go to statefarm.com. Forging ahead together drives Colorado's pioneering spirit. At Chevron, we donate funding and volunteer thousands of hours in support of the community's we call home. We also employ our neighbors to deliver the energy needed, as the state's largest oil and natural gas producer. All to help improve lives in our shared backyard. That's energy and progress. Visit colorado.chefron.com [Music]

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