DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 80 – Call the MidWife

On this week’s episode we have calls from:

Claire from Scotland via Canada who understands Chris

Andrew Horn an ex Bullingdon club member defends Oxford types.

Julie a first time callerinerer to had various things to mull over

Glyn Fullelove who wonders how Rob sees himself?

Witherspoon who is mourning the cattle

Maurice Snell who knows who does Jennifer’s ladygarden

Jacqueline Bertho who wants a female villain

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 80 – Call the MidWife appeared first on DumTeeDum.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 1h 18m
Broadcast on:: 19 Oct 2015
Audio Format:: other

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And Evan, he can't stand salads, but he still lost 50 pounds with Noom. I never really was a salad guy. That's just not who I am. Even through the pickiness, Noom taught me that building better habits builds a healthier lifestyle. I'm not doing this to get to a number. I'm doing this to feel better. Get your personalized plan today at Noom.com. Real Noom users compensated to provide their story. In four weeks, the typical Noom user can expect to lose one to two pounds per week. Individual results may vary. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. All right. Yeah, I know. At Bridge Farm Cafe, we always use Sarah Smith cloths. When I was at Brookfield, they only had those nasty blue and white ones. But these have been vintage. Like our furniture, balance it so I have to call our cakes vintage, not style. Sarah Smith for the Pusher Washer. Hello. You might recognize my voice as the long departed and rather missed Nigel in the arches. Well, I, Grand Seed, will be joining Royfield Lucy and hopefully you, for dinner and drinks at the Portland Pub 51 Upper Berkeley Street, Madison, London W1H 7 QW from 8 p.m. on Saturday, November the 14th. The dinner is priced at an excellent 35 pounds for three courses plus a two pound booking fee. So if you would like to meet other archer fans and me, head over to dumpitdown.com and book your place now. Oh, I'll be the one in the gorilla suit. This is done during the show about the reality dump drum and centered an ambridge in the heart of the Midlands. I'm this dry show that he's worked for Brown and with my other curly ham sandwich, that is Lucy Freeman. And I've just dropped my mic. That's what that big bang was. Sorry. And the last part of our funeral tea is you. See. Yes. She's excited about the dumbly dumb annual dinner. Oh, Sam. It's Graham, seed, aka Nigel. Yes. I am. Why? Why are you excited about it? Because I love Nigel. What about Auntie Jean? Hello, Auntie Jean. And Jojo Sexy Hills. And Jojo Sexy Hills. And all the other people that are booked. And all the other people are going, I think Sam's coming, isn't she? She's already booked. Yes. In fact, I think she's a very first person to book about five minutes after I put the link up. How many people have we got now, then? Five. No. More than that. More than that. So people need to get onto dumbdodum.com. And they need to book their place. It's going to run out fast because we're not having just, they're not, you can't fit hundreds into this room. It's like tens of lots of people. So it's going to be intimate, bees you and you'll get to meet Graham. He's come this way. Sorry. What did you say? I said boner. Not that sort of boner. You said intimate, bees you, which reminded me of Jollum Sand. Never mind. Carry on. What? They, they talk about bonus. No, not that. It's Bona Palari, Bona. Oh, Palari, the language of the gay is of so. Yes. Okay. We should talk about Palari in one episode. Well, it's not relevant to the arches, is it? As far as I know, nobody has ever taught Palari in the arches. But somebody like Nelson would have be, would have known. He would have understood it. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. So we can make a neat segue. Yeah. I think we just have. We have, haven't we? Deener is priced at £35 with a £2 booking fee and to book your place, you need to preorder by booking online on DundeeDump.com now. So go do it. Pronto. And it's going to be fun. And it's going to be nice to see you and, and to hang out with Graham. So that'd be smashing. Today's Dundee Dump is from James, who does even the twiddly bit. So well done, James. People don't normally do that, do they? No, he went the extra mile. They didn't he just didn't he just people just expire after the phrase, don't they? I think they panic that they're going to forget the rest. I'll stop, I'll stop. James, we salute you sir. Lucy, can you remind our listeners, having with the accolade of Dump de Dump of the week? Yes, if you would like to sing us a Dump de Dump give us a plot prediction or dither about going to Oxford Ringus on 02030313105 or leave us a message on speak pipe. Thanks to lovely sandwiches for her amazing voices, to Cosmo for his podcast round ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Thanks also to Derek for learning back my dream. Derek doesn't think that he should go to Oxford either. He went. He said the traffic was awful, so he suggests Mr shopping village instead. Well, the factory outlet. Yes, yeah, absolutely. On this week's show, we have calls from Claire from Scotland by Canada who understands Chris, Andrew Horn, an ex-Bullington club member who defends Oxford types. I might have slightly lied there. Julie, a first-time caller in her who has various things to melover, Glenn Bullellove, who wonders how Rob sees himself with a spoon, who is mourning the cattle. Murray Snell, who knows who does Jennifer's Lady Garden and Jacqueline Bertot, who wants a female villain. But first, before all the juicy call, arena res in a little bit of sideways chat from your two hosts, it's Lucy V. Freeman and a week in Ambridge. Phoebe is fed up with Kate going on about yerps and Alex is fed up with Phoebe going on about Oxford. Phoebe, listen to me, do not let someone who says something stop you from going to Oxbridge. Kate has offered Phoebe a job as a yurt master in chief. She was unsurprisingly underwhelmed, but then Roy won the father of the year award by talking a great deal of sense to Phoebe, who will hopefully tell Alex, aka Titchin or Minor, to shove his lack of ambition up his arse. Quick update in case any of you are wondering, Rex has not been sniffing around Gemma Hawkins, but Jennifer is out of hummus, more news as we get it. Ruth sorted out the funeral. "I'm not made of glass, you know," said Ruth, "it's probably because she keeps going on about being shattered, ha ha!" Ruth le reminiscent at Memel that's funeral about the happy days when they decorated the back garden with Lou Roll. "It's just not a funeral without a hilarious laboratory-based anecdote, I've always said it." Good news and bad news. For the junior branch of the grungy clan, Emma is taking over as the grunge is digital media manager and has resigned from her post as cleaner at Brookers. No more washing Josh's sticky seats and mopping up David's dribble from when he's knotted off in his chair for Emma. She has her sights set on higher things, posting lots of pictures of herself pouting in a tracksuit next to a dead turkey. In other news, Ed's bullocks have been shot-lifted, some ones shove them up their jumper and made off with them. Ed always answers the phone as if someone's just peed in his wellies, until he has some really bad news, then he answers it with all the Joviality for Children's TV presented to emphasise the bad news when it comes. Fallon and Emma have some bizarre ideas for the bridge farm cafe, constantly shifting furniture. You get your tea, turn around your chair's gone, and you're sitting on a vintage sewing machine. The fair brethren are looking for a plucking device. The grunges have got one, called Clary, maybe you could borrow that. It's a bit old and knackered, it makes funny groaning noises every now and again, but it's been going strong for years. Toby's got a board of the geese now and he wants to do cows. Rex wants to have ducks. Honestly, it's like they've got a Fisher Price My Little Farm set but they keep losing bits down the back of the sofa. Surely, chaps, you should be concentrating on the fact that you've got a 742 gigantic geese running around a pen that's too small for them, and so far you've sold three in one of them looking shaky. I can see a fair brother Grundy merger coming along, as neither of them are going to be able to shift enough stock. Fair Grundy Enterprises, fair Grundy Attraction! I am a marketing genius and should be employed by Clary to take photographs of her squabbling grandchildren. Toby seems to think along similar lines to Eddy. I've had a brilliant idea based on no business sense whatsoever. Helen had a meeting with her fantastically unprofessional 12-year-old doctor. I had no idea that the Hippocratic oath included attempting to flirt with the pregnant woman's husband. For one blissful minute, Titchinob left the room and I thought, "Now, tell the doctor you feel threatened!" But no, she just muttered away listlessly and I kicked another hole in the door. We were then treated to the world's second worst job interview ever. Mike talking to Charlie Barber's spreadsheet and telling him that none of the 17 failed businesses he'd had were anything like Barrow Farm. What more of a recommendation do you need? Joe is now the official spooky bullshit peddler at Lower Locksley. He is going to frighten the punters with fabricated stores the Lower Locksley ghosts and with an unearthly screamy hit the patio and that was the end of Nigel Pajita. Oh, blimey! Kenton the Fun Fascist has recovered sufficiently sadly to unearth his flipping megaphone and organise a Halloween party. Spooky food and probably some sort of terrible game which involves Kenton making terrible puns. As if visiting a collapsing pub wasn't scary enough, Kenton dropped himself in the cart by announcing that he had benignly sat and watched the robber men steal Ed's cattle. Knowing Kenton he probably helped them up the ramp into the truck. Quick, let Jenny Darling-Cluso know and she can track them down, interview them and then decide that actually they're terribly nice people and really rather brave, Brian. Then we had a lovely trip with Ruth and David to inspect what a bedroom looked like without a bed in it so that was nice. I'm not sure I can listen to another scene of Ruth crying in an empty room to be honest. Let's go back to Eddy's ringtone. I like that better. The end. Oh well done. Thanking you. You were quite brusque this week. Did that clip Lucy? Well you said you had things to do. You're right. I don't. I do but that doesn't mean that I need to put pressure on you to gallop through your monologue though. You know I never need any encouragement to speak fast. I speak like someone that's on double speed anyway when you play back YouTube or something. Why are we playing this back on YouTube as opposed to iTunes or Stitcher or Acast or any other pod service that people have? I don't know. It was the first thing that came into my head because I've just been looking at YouTube. Okay all right so any thoughts and feelings on anything you'd like to talk about? Yes I am extremely cross with Peggy Woolley because she's a mean-spirited old bank. She is a patronising cow and she's blind. Oh family blind. How did I was so angry? Sorry I am really exercised about this. How dare she say about Phoebe going to Oxbridge? She said oh well isn't it funny the idea of Phoebe going to because you know Roy is such a plodder so she certainly doesn't get it from him. You know as if well we never were all surprised when Roy even got to university. I love the way Roy has got a daughter that he's got two children both of whom he you know is an excellent father to. He's taught more sense into Phoebe in two minutes than all the bollocks Kate comes out with for six months. Kate doesn't have a job. She's supported entirely by family money. She's never earned her own money. She's she's her marriage has broken down. She's you know gone through infidelity and all this stuff and what the hell does Peggy think makes her so special just because she's her granddaughter? How dare you describe somebody as a plodder when actually they're just quite a nice straightforward bloke trying to do their best and you know getting things wrong rather than swanning around thinking that they're the bloody centre of the universe like Kate does. It was a bit of a shit thing to say. It was horrible and it just shows what a bloody fantasy world she lives in. I mean the fact that she's Rob's greatest fan tells us all we need to know really about her um you know her ability to to judge people because she didn't even have the vague warning um the vague warning alarm that Pat got initially you know even though that seems to be disappeared now but you know she's she's she's she ah I just cannot bear her and then ringing Rob to find out what's wrong with Helen. Well that in and of itself isn't that unusual it's just that we all hate Rob. Yeah well yeah that's true I suppose but oh I don't she's just such a cow she really is and she's created this mess of a family she's got pretty much there's no acknowledgement that they're all a disaster but she was the one who shouted at that's harsh Debbie's not a disaster no that's true but she's not but neither's Adam but nor Alice all right Kate then shut up but Tom's redeeming himself she was the one Peggy was the one who had a big girl she's the only one that's a disaster and Kate look well Johnny's okay well we don't know do we he's okay he swings between being Mr. Sensitive and then being Mr. Rob so you can't really tell but when you said he swings is that pertaining to his swing bowling technique which he honed through Rob's guidance? Yes obviously really? Hobbs yes um but Peggy was the one who had a go at Kate didn't she and said you know you're a you're a you're a useless lump of flesh and and everybody went hurrah and now she's a comedian forgotten that and saying oh yes well you know it's all you know poor old Roy the plotter you know who accidentally sired this this very nice polite hard-working and intelligent young woman and you think well she didn't she wasn't brought up by Kate so she didn't get it from her it's you know nurture not nature she got it from Haley and Roy who you who she would dismiss as boring and a bit you know a bit pedestrian and not rich enough and a bit oh horrible old benches right that's it I've finished now all right have you if you are you kind of like a venomless now yeah yeah well done it will be it will be flowers and butterflies so can we get back to like bum jokes now yep yep now we've got your kind of race race sorry class sorry class bit of baiting eye out of your out of your system all right all right great so uh so we just nip onto the calls because i i've got a sneaky feeling right that anybody winds you up again i'll have nothing to say and it's all like he said it'll just be just you going all the way through won't it sorry i know it's entertaining listen people like a passionate podcaster hello ambridge 3962 hello downtown it's clinton scott and fire candidate you're willing to talk about the trees because it's uniquely they're so hard on her on the podcast much as i love it and i was thinking about her because i was talking to my grandmother and she suddenly said as we got towards the end of the conversation i hope you never feel you've lived too long i sometimes be like too long and she's not my grandmother she's rapidly isolated she's got all her grandchildren and all her children have been walking distance after and i do think what we visit we accept the ones in scottland and she still said i sometimes feel i've lived too long and i thought once we'd run off and i was in the middle of doing something perfectly ordinary that's really anti-criticism that she thinks she's lived too long and she is surrounded by family and friends she cares about but i think there's still a sense of a lot of the things that made her chris and energetic and actively engaged with light in a way that wasn't just scones and crosswords are very far in the past claire from scottland fire calendar this was yes this what i hadn't thought of this actually claire you make very good points my love um artichris saying uh you know you can live too long you know and um that's what claire thinks that that chris is at that stage that she's now surrounded by people who she can't be relevant for anymore um and yes i do see i do see what she means i yeah it's it's made me feel guilty again i'm always feeling guilty because i've been horrible about people and then make people say yes but think a bit like this and i think oh god i'm such a horrible old cow um i remember my auntie saying to me don't ever worry about when you're uh don't ever worry about dying because she said when you you you know you get to a point where it's not frightening anymore because you understand that it's it's almost welcome sorry this is jolly isn't it uh but anyway i saw my uncle pedro in care home yesterday and he's got dementia and it was a very kind of sad sad thing yes i went with my dad and a couple of uh random cousins that i barely know how i'm related to them um but i don't think you can never live too long because even what i took out of that hour that we spent with him and the poor poor bloke was just like staring off into the distance and was the fact that i met these two random cousins that i don't really know how i'm relating to them you know one of them is 90 and i also saw how wonderful the care home staff were and it absolutely reaffirmed my belief in kind of humanity the fact that we you know we went there to see a family member who doesn't know who we are you know he just lives completely in that moment and and it was sad but actually even just the fact was going to see him told us lots about humanity which was positive so i'll completely disagree i don't care how long you live you just live your life and uh you can always take good from that sorry it's all right so you won't be popping off the dignity test then well i'm gonna massively you might sound like a massive contradiction now but because you've got to think about aging haven't you um here's a massive contradiction right if i have some debilitating disease or condition yeah i think yeah on the belong to dignity test however i wouldn't force that on anybody right and i can see the the beauty the joy the the poignancy the whatever the words are in the english language is he's uh you know he's failing me now in in a life you know and they say i looked at my uncle Pedro my uncle Pedro is such a lovely guy and um look little small guy like like to run like to look a bit of a dance always had a little twinkle in his eye and that twinkle is so gone so gone you know and my dad um you know went up to him says hello Pedro and he kind of half recognized my dad and he had to introduce us all and he just kind of looked and he shook everybody by the hand and he just sat down and you know after 10 minutes of trying to get sense out of him you know you you kind of gave up yeah and everyone just starts talking amongst themselves yeah but but even but that's what he did yeah he brought together uh a whole group but you know a group of people from this small village in Jamaica who were sat in Birmingham and then i said the care home assistants were amazing they absolutely were amazing and we all got a cup of tea and we said we'd like a cup of tea to his uncle Pedro and he didn't acknowledge it care assistants they knew how to deal with him come on Pedro you need your cup of tea anyway okay you know and gave him his biscuit and whatever and any any sat and drank it and what they're just amazing uh and you know and uh no i couldn't disagree more anyway uh this isn't philosopher's corner so kind of death in the arches yes yeah we best move on to another call Hello Duntedam it's Clint here calling into my favorite podcast from the Dubger Dales I want to talk about Rob and a very clever piece of script writing uh early this week it was when he was um dissing Emma's ideas on the um farm shop uh the t-shop in the farm shop to to Helen although it was very clever because we all know that he was dissing her ideas because he wants uh it's part of his control strategy over Helen and dividing her from her friends and uh family but the points he made were actually quite sensible we've got quite a few farm shops around here in Derbyshire and quite a few of them have t-shops most of the ones i can think of the t-shops and the farm shops are decorated in the same in the same way and it's obvious why because after you know a ramble out on the out on the malls or whatever you go into the t-shop and have a nice piece of cake or a nice cup of tea and then think oh they've got a shop next door the food in here is nice let's go next door and get something for tea but if the um t-shop and the farm shop seem to come from completely different places decorated in completely different ways you might think oh well this place is nice but looks like that place over there is run by somebody else so we won't bother we'll just have the uh frozen pizza and oven chips instead so i think his comments were quite sensible and hats off to the script writers for wrapping that up in uh another piece of rob nastiness uh because if Helen uh relays that conversation to any of her friends so they might well say well that makes sense doesn't it my other thought about rob was how does he see himself because we look at other amberish villains like um hazel woolly or clap horribin i'm sure they've got enough self-awareness cardboard cutouts as they are to recognize they're not certainly angelic angelic creatures i'm sure hazel things yeah i'm out for everything i can get but that's the way life is and and so the rest of you but i suspect rob actually thinks of himself has been quite a nice bloke glint full of love wants to know how rob sees himself that is a very good question and i thought i was thinking about this and i think that i think he sees him i think rob sees himself as the only one that can really see what is going on because he's a narcissist he can see all the he thinks i'm surrounded by all these little people and it's up to me to lead them because i am inherently better than them uh so it's i am one of the things they would say about people with narcissistic personality disorders that they are outside of the normal rules do not apply and they say well i'm different aren't i you know the normal rules don't apply which is why he's allowed to break in his mind it's perfectly okay for him to you know cheat or whatever to win um and not have a job and you know not even look for one to you know to just manipulate everything to get the best solution for him out of it um and i think that's genuinely what he thinks that he thinks he is genuinely superior to everybody around him and uh and he gets very very uh malicious when or and threatening when when when somebody threatens that worldview no i think that spot on absolutely agree but also what i'd really like to back glint's call is the fact that he is calling up um some of the clever plot devices which the script writers have actually thrown into the whole kind of rob thing it has to be said that when he had his rant about um valence t-shop and there's that great line about um it's going to be a whole load of junk with all grey tea yeah i i thought oh that's just bang out of order it is their concession that can do whatever they want however he made he made a really good point that actually it does make a certain amount of sense that that t-shop um in large part is in keeping with the rest of the farm shop and um and then also um and i did mention this some time ago saying that actually rob is a somewhat capable manager now he might not be the best person to to work for because he has this kind of overbearing sense of self and you know he will and i think i said he might um you know he'll bark orders as opposed to you know being like a kind of consultative boss but things are going to hell in the hand basket over at barrow farm and it's not by accident that this is when when rob is gone um and i'm slightly jumping forward to sunday's episode which i know we're not really supposed to talk to but this was mentioned last week that i think it's another instance where um he isn't just um all bad all evil yes he is vis-a-vis Helen but actually he's a somewhat capable uh project manager which is what we said before wasn't some weeks ago that he can look at a spreadsheet he you know he he's got his manner is not nice but he leaves barrow farm and then old charlie can't cope and all the all the cows are dying of anthrax or whatever the heck they're dying of you know so but anyway again it's just a very clever for the writers to kind of throw that in that um when it comes to his his his dealings with Helen the man is evil incarnate when it comes to him and most other people he's not great but actually he can get a job done but also to fit for him not to sort of um bust his own faux identity wide open he has to do it within the context of reasonableness doesn't he he can't just go stomping around saying Helen i don't want you to work because i want to be in control of you he has to say Helen you are pregnant therefore i have to look after you and the way i'm looking after i only want to care for you darling da da da da da da you know it has to be within the confines of something that makes it's like when you where when we write gags we say there's a logic slip there's there's got it's got to make logical sense otherwise you get what's called a ripple in the joke where you your brain goes hey and it's just quick but it's just enough to stop you laughing and it's the same thing with with this it's got to be for it to sort of be as insidious as it is it's got to make sense on one level so that you can look at it and say no that's he's being he's being fun that's that's kind of that's reasonable that's a good point there's something that there's there's there's an alarm bell going at the back of it my way you think well yeah it is a good point but i don't like the way he did it or whatever um but that's it's got to be yeah it's just got to be within the context of reality and and and reasonableness yeah yeah yeah and and you know people who've said this on on the twitters and on the forum and on on this show that you know the great thing about this storyline is the fact that it's all so believable and and it just shows the kind of shows in sharp kind of contrast you know the the 2d nature of of a hazel woolie and the other kind of perceived villains but then again i think i'm then buttoned onto another call then aren't i yes who's i've gone blank Jacqueline Bertot oh yes Jacqueline hello Jacqueline Bertot from some uh Gwen in France here i have to admit to a certain shudder of horror when i heard Phoebe's boyfriend trying to dissuade her from applying to Oxford even if we didn't have the kitchen of story i would have felt just the same it got me thinking though apart from hazel woolie we don't have many villainous female characters or many female characters with villainous traits got their gossip and stuff backed by it in occasionally but in my experience no matter where you are in the world people women sorry can be extremely bitchy i'm very villainous so in the interest of balance maybe the writers should think about adding a female Rob Stroke Alex character or situation on another note i'm really sorry i won't be able to make their Graham seeds suave but i'm looking forward to maybe meeting some of you in Muriel in March next year keep up the good work you guys bye she says where are the nasty women apart from hazel i don't know well at the moment we were also concentrated on the big arch enemy that is Rob that we've sort of forgotten to look anywhere for anyone else somewhere we have Kate Aldrich who we love to hate but she's not a villain you know you just she just gets up you know but for a while you know Linda Snell was before we all sort of warned to her she was always the one that went round saying no you know she was always the one opposing everything and never actually doing anything constructive just marching around telling everybody what they couldn't couldn't do and for a while she wasn't at all as nice a friendly character as she is now well i think i said said a couple of months ago that i was going to say despised is despised completely too strong a word but yeah i didn't like her for maybe about the first seven eight years when when she came into it she was just totally totally annoying but and i think and i could be wrong here this is where we need a cosmo i think it was the Christmas play because she always you know that was her thing from day one wasn't it and i think it was kind of the Christmas play that where she in effect has weadled her way into everyone's kind of affections of people said actually we see her see her worth because yours was a jobs worth yours was you know you know i'll organize this and whatever and you thought who is this woman who's only been in the village like but you know for three minutes and she'd been there already for like eight years you know wanting to organize everything but yes so i i kind of agree but yeah we we do need well i suppose you know we talk about the fact that this thing is somewhat kind of uh when it's written well he's very much kind of close to life how many villains do we actually know in in real life people are for the most part fundamentally good yeah which is the reason why we turn to these things actually to see the odd kind of ship bag and boo and hiss and then throw throw rotten through bird bar digital radios i suppose yes hmm i've lost myself now oh that's me help if you know where we are if you aren't sent and a postcard with advice for Lucy and Royfield on how to get out of the sentence i've just called themselves into with a spoon hey baby i hear the blues are calling to salads and scrambled eggs massive greetings Lucy Royfield in all dumpty dimmers around the world it's with the spoon and Angus haggis here there's an autumn chill in the air in new york and i think it's the same in middle england as it's not been a very happy time in ambridge i'd call this week three funerals and an unwanted pregnancy first the one actual documented funeral that of header i thought it was a lovely service and i was moved by the poem that pip read this was followed by Ruth's outpourings of guilt both after the service and the following day as she looked upon the room without a bed some may feel that Ruth's episodes of self-flagellation are ott but we did get some insight into her intro psychic issues when she and rec shared with each other last week and after all she is allowed to mourn in fact mourning is not considered pathologic unless it extends six or more months past the death of the loved one so i'm willing to be patient at least for a while second funeral actually we don't know it for a fact but ed noted that his cattle have probably already been turned into beef burgers my sympathy for the grondies is quite high right now cattle rustlers bear brethren having to learn all about social media and dastardly rob undermining the dreams of a queen country cafe co-run by emma and soon they're going to be chucked out of their home by hazel they're like the british version of the gird family on their way from oklahoma to california during the dust bowl to pick grapes third funeral well we don't know if there are any dead cows but i'm referencing the scene of satamin gamora at barrow farms this will not sit very well with charlie's boss slash possible stepfather mr just an eliot would this have happened if rob were still at the helm or did rob indeed have something to do with it and is rob involved with cattle rustlers just some idle speculation now on to the unwanted pregnancy Helen certainly hasn't been brimming with it excitement since she found out the news and what kind of initial midwife assessment did you call that alie and why do you sound so much like nurse sentia from call the midwife seriously a clinician is trained to ask provocative questions about topics such as abuse in a neutral straightforward manner to elicit the most honest response not to beat around the bush in an anxious fashion and if rob hadn't gotten a call and decided to make some coffee which he have ever asked him to leave the room and all that fawning over him a yay yay one last thing thank goodness phoebe decided to stand up to rob jr i mean alex and submit her oxford application if she hadn't had have been the first one on the telephone shouting at shano connor angus and i will close with a follow-up to pips reading with a portion of one of my favorite burp backrack how david songs a house is not a home this one's for you ruth a room is still a room even when there's nothing there but gloom but a room is not a house and a house is not a home when the two of us are far apart and one of us has a broken heart till next week my friends it's witherspoon and angus agus signing off sorry for the grondies sodom and gomorrah barrow farm yes there is as ye reap so shall ye so no no no doubt that joe is going to come up with all that um did i reckon that somebody that it might have been a bit of sabotage by rob no no okay just because actually no if he does if he does do something like that he can't resist telling somebody because he's so full of himself and he has gives his little chuckle oh well i think charlie might find he's got slightly more and then he'll wish that he did have response ones are there but you know he wouldn't be able to resist making Helen complicit in it would he hmm agree what do you think's happened and fracks i just think that you needed a manager i haven't heard last night so i don't all i know is that all i know is that child the house the cows all have the cows are dropping like flies don't tell me because then it will ruin it for the things i haven't heard all right no okay so um but there's clearly something wrong isn't there yeah what is needed um such an intensive and such a large scale industry operation is somebody who has their eye on the detail of the husbandry of the cattle right the fact that rob has gone that has been missing and charlie has been doing you know all the office type stuff and hasn't had his eye on the cattle it's as simple as that and but if you get anthrax in the grass well i i'm not saying it is anthrax i said i said anthrax because i i just sounds like a dreadful well that's what joe says isn't it it sounds like something from you know a little living dead sort of walking dead sort of thing ah especially if you put another couple of million eyes in it ah fracks it just it just goes to show that rob or a shorter days and chillier nights can make it tough to keep up your fall workout routine thankfully there's alo moves the app that brings health and wellness to the comfort of your home alo moves offers yoga pilates strength workouts and other fitness classes plus wellness offerings like meditations sound baths and more whether you have five minutes or an hour alo moves has a class or flow that saves you from a frigid trip to the gym get a 30 day free trial and 20 percent off an annual membership with code a cast at alo moves dot com Ryan Reynolds here for i guess my hundredth mint commercial no no no no no no no no no no no honestly when i started this i thought only have to do like four of these i mean it's unlimited premium wireless for fifteen dollars a month how are there still people paying two or three times that much i'm sorry i shouldn't be victim blaming here give it a try at mid mobile dot com slash switch whatever you're ready 45 dollars up from payment equivalent to 15 dollars per month new customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees extra speed slower above 40 gigabytes in details lemonade sings a pet insurance customer review person like rob was needed at barrow and charlie has not replaced him and this is the thing we always say that you know charlie is a great administrator and actually he's not because he threw at uh he threw at rob the fact that figures went down and rob actually reminded do you remember the flood yeah he went oh yeah yeah right and he then has walked um they have a barney rob walks off and is with a spoon said charlie did not cover himself in any glory in that conversation right he went in there hard um yes charlie uh rob overreacted charlie hasn't got great person skills when it comes to business and hasn't had the full site actually to replace rob hence all these cattle affording like flies it's going to hell in the hand basket i can't remember what the question was does it i mean does it make sense to you that mike is coming back to work in barrow farm in the village he moved out of no no the hell he's going on hmm that's just nonsense isn't it because he's now going to be commuting he's doing shifts uh listen it makes no sense they've never exactly said how far Birmingham is away from from ambrage so it's somewhat an elastic thing but you've got to think it must be at least 20 miles yeah right but they're always very careful not to be specific aren't they because why don't you have somebody saying mum it's not the other side of the world it's only Birmingham and then you've got all that way you know well elastic Birmingham that kind of just moves around hey i tell you something about Birmingham right shocking shocking shocking and i'm sorry for those listeners that say i like the sound of me own voice right but this is an absolutely pertinent segue in my own mind right so i'm writing this article for city metric which is a part of the new statesman about Birmingham which might might pet my pet subject in terms of the economic mismanagement and the town planning disaster that is Birmingham city center okay right now as recently as 1965 Birmingham was richer per head of the population than London really as recently as 1965 Lucy could have knocked me over the feather when i read that i would know i had to go and cross reference it absolutely true and this is how rich Birmingham was per head of the population it was 13% richer per head of the population than London the southeast okay wow also check this out and most of that was Jack woolly absolutely also Birmingham was that rich per head of the population it was in the top five European cities for wealth really at 1965 okay believable and the city has fallen such a long way and it was part of it was actually a state of government policy to in the 1950s to restrict the growth of cities and London suffered from this as well so London was depopulated and there's the building of new towns well in gardens city etc etc that was all a very very deliberate thing and actually letting people move to to Essex Birmingham suffered from that was more of a strategic thing with not allowing new industries actually to to move into the city and then in my article i'll contend that actually the the the ring roads actually then decimated it so 200 000 people left Birmingham and then Birmingham kind of uh in terms of GDP figures kind of collapsed and now and i always put this in parentheses they say it's one of the 10 most deprived local authorities in the UK and i'd put that virtual parentheses because i don't believe that it is at all but um it's nowhere near um you know top five in Europe you know it's just absolutely amazing in 50 years of relative stagnation but anyway Birmingham place i place i love hmm right um what's that got to do the arches oh it's somewhere close but it does explain how you have a lot of wealthy landowners around Birmingham because i couldn't really understand that well it's like all kind of major cities isn't it really with the exception of London is that um it kind of stock poker belt isn't it with people you know kind of kind of travel in and you know you've got your lemons and spars you've got your droid witches you've got all these rich towns um you know around it and and that is the traditional English model of an urban connovation that people wanted the good air and and and stayed there and then traveled in into the shit in the muck and and the steep and and you know in the cold dust and made them money then they're kind of trotted back out and London is an anomaly in that it had this rich core well to the waist so we live where we work something exactly exactly they had that kind of rich core um but anyway uh we we we're we're whiching and chuntering about stuff which is not specifically to do with a great world of um rich and borsettia greetings earthlings and drew horn here and i'm a bit annoyed with the fact i'm very annoyed with the way the plot is developing about Oxford and Phoebe i understand Alex wants to keep Phoebe there he's a teenage boy with raging hormones enough said but the fact that they're going on about are you an Oxford type well what is an Oxford type? Oxford is very competitive it's the second ranked university in the world after the california institute of technology and it gets there by selecting the best people look at their website plenty of facts and figures there are more than 56 percent from state schools and even those from public schools are not the stereotype bullingdon club Cameron Boris that the papers like to feature on i was there in the mid 80s the year ahead of Cameron and Boris and the bullingdon and that set didn't even feature i didn't know anyone who knew them didn't know anyone who behaved in that sort of uh bride's headway it just isn't there i was in the minority haven't been to a public school but it doesn't really matter people are there to learn to grow their minds and Phoebe should just go for it the hardest thing about Oxford is getting in i'm going to stop ranting now andrew horn is annoyed with the next bullingdon club member do you know how you can tell whether someone went to oxbridge how because they tell you in the first five minutes that's not true that is not true i know somebody who um you wouldn't at all you wouldn't dream that she went but actually she didn't say it told she's absolutely completely embarrassed about the fact that she went i know two people weren't embarrassed about it two people but for then it's a bit of a political thing oh okay yeah yeah because you know they were rubbing up with with the enemy so it's because they would say it but anyway gone um i do think it's still a current stereotype andrew though i think you know he said are you an oxford person and i think it's not it's not oxford's fault um but that stereotype is going to i know i know it's different and i know that there are more state state school skids state school children that go young people that go but that stereotype does is still very very relevant i don't think the script writers have got that wrong um i think even though everybody knows the facts i think there's still that sort of hangover and it's part of it for me still comes from the young ones and rah rah rah we're going to smash the oics you know i can still see uh emma Thompson and steve and fry being sort of um had things thrown on them by by um Vivian and and and Neil and everybody so there's there's that sort of um hangover stereotype that i think that's going to take an awfully long time to shift and i can completely see how a manipulative manipulative little um hormonal bugger like Alex who's thinking entirely through his trousers um can uh could you could use that to try and keep phoebe and i did like the way she went yeah but fell for some uni you never can you can hear the lip curl i was very good i thought don't stop guys don't don't let don't listen to in the little sod a lot of people on on social media have gone you know this is a rob mark too yeah and on the face of it you know you could say that it's that but i think he's not he's just a kid yeah and he's feeling a bit of a twat because he's not going to university he's gonna go and he's probably thinking i probably should have gone maybe and not just gone to work for my dad you know and so he's just he's just what they do isn't it just trying to stop everyone else doing well it's like the people that used to ring you up when you're revising and go are you revising are you revising because i'm not i'm not revising at all i'm not revising for money and then you go oh i'll stop then yes that's all fail that'd be much better wouldn't it well i wouldn't even say that he even sees it as the fact that he's stopping her he's 17 18 he's in love for the first time he will it's that you know that any relationship when you're that age is the most important thing and you've got no said isn't it Roy said i know this feels to you like the most important yeah exactly exactly he did a very good chat i thought it didn't he just didn't he just but you know what i thought was really sweet what's that i hate her but i know me no i'm a cater hater but when she went out onto the onto the terrace i tell you what you've seen her i know she's a blazer you can't be a cater hater she um Roy had done the big fatherly bit and phoebe had been off hand with her mother as she was is Kate i'm having a sandwich Kate oh i can't believe there's a carcass in the fridge actually it's delicious but she'd had this heart to heart with Roy it obviously sort of affected her she'd done the driving with Roy Kate's still feeling you know she's rejected Kate because Kate said come and be my you know rub people down with a wet loofah at the health center and phoebe said no and then she was standing out on the terrace thingy and she was about to call Roy and say i've applied to Oxford and Kate came out and said what are you doing are you okay and she just shut down like she always said yeah i'm fine it's fine whatever and then Kate as Kate was going she said don't get cold she went in and i thought no matter what Kate does really and she does drive me to distraction she has got a gen you you kick that but no matter how much she tries to cloak it with darcissism and and and self-interest and selfishness and everything else there is a genuine mother mother's heart there you know don't get cold it's what you say and you see mothers saying that to their children when they're children of you know 50 or whatever don't get cold will you standing oh no shut the door you'll let them what you know don't and it's that thing just i am worried about your physical safety i thought that was really sweet she genuinely loves phoebe and you you know i wouldn't necessarily say that it's a mother's love but i'm saying that really from a traditional point of view which is probably actually really wrong but you Kate takes on everybody she's adversarial with everybody she doesn't see it as such she sees it as i'm departing wisdom and knowledge because i actually know better than you but she doesn't with phoebe she absolutely doesn't phoebe is the one person who will slap her down repeatedly and she'll just take that slap down yeah she you know she listens to it and she might say oh phoebe but but that's it whereas you know she will absolutely fight her corner with with brian with jennifer with Roy with Roy she's absolutely venal and hateful yeah yeah hello maris snell here or john the fifth last time i called which was the first time i called either my recording stopped early or it was long and got edited so nothing i said had any archer's relevance so i made my archer's point first just before i listened to last week's dumpty dum i was catching up on some august 2013 episodes of the archers on my laptop in a hotel the other side of the world and to answer your question about jenny darlings gardener well there's a whole mini plot about it um back then so the gardener's called simon he had a bad back and when jenny was talking to brian about it he was going to be off for a whole another month brian refused to help so jenny was uh complaining in the shop to susan about it and also saying how only the roses were looking good enough to enter the pharaoh produce show susan had the great idea to get one of home farms uh summer fruit pickers to help in the garden so christian was given the job and he mowed the lawn he was asked to spray the roses but due to a language mishap he sprayed the roses with weed killer uh jenny tried to wash it off with water but it was too late and the roses were ruined so yep jenny definitely does have a gardener and he was called simon in 2013 and uh one other quick thing because you were talking about uh growing watermelons with alcohol last week now i haven't tried that but what i can recommend is upending a bottle of alcohol could be wine vodka whatever you like i'm putting it into the top of a watermelon so you need to cut out a little hole the size of the top of the bottle uh prop up the watermelon and prop up the bottle sticking out of the top of it leave it for a good 12 if not 24 hours and the alcohol very very slowly seep into the watermelon and it makes a great combination um and morris knell last but not least lovely morris knell said that jenny darlene does have a gardener and this is an entire story line i had completely forgotten about she had a gardener called simon in 2013 who had a bad back and so on someone else's advice she got uh one of the pickers to do the garden and they ruined the roses by spraying them with weed killer knot fertiliser whatever i do vaguely remember that i remembered that joke or that that that happening but um i don't remember i don't remember anything about and who does it now then is it more pickers or something yeah i presume simon's back uh back um so i'm back for my glory whatever that was yes very soon anyway thank you for sorting that out morris you're very kind but i like the way he said um i just happened to be listening to back every story from 2013 oh and july sorry you're not last but not least morris and neither are you july and nothing everybody else hello royfield and lucy this is july at july 15 on the twitter sphere and i'm a first-time cholera i'm a manager of a small charity for blind and partially sighted people and i've been an archer's addict for about 10 years and the first main storyline i listened to was roost dahlians with some the cow man and i've been following dumb to dumb podcast from around episode 22 23 a few things that i thought i would call in about but when roost off and had the pet suitcase i was rather hoping that you would find had the six month supply of tenor pants which roost could then have passed on to david for jail and that may have stemmed her flow of verbal diarrhea about moving to lucy hey ho what else the robin robin have a situation i agree with others who have said where's he in he's supposed to be helen's best friend so where is he but he would surely have noticed the change in a bye now and i think the crusty will be the one to notice but i also think that rob will soon cotton on to this however having listened to the omnibus addition this morning perhaps the midwife will come to helen zed shoelish he must be trained in these kinds of things and the signs to look out for so who knows more to come i guess and here's my plot prediction robs already said that heathers working really hard with the shop and that's why she was looking a bit peaky i suspect helen may have a miscarriage and then rob will throw that back at helen as in i told you we're working too hard you've killed my son because of course we do know it's a boy don't we she says where is ear why is helen not talking to in but helen already knows that robynne and don't get on and when you're in the position helen is in you don't want to she knows i think that he and would say how are you getting on how is rob how is that and she's frightened of saying anything so she's doing the classic thing of just isolating herself and thinking i can manage this or you know if i just try harder somehow this will be okay and she's she's sort of isolating herself as well as letting him isolate her she's choosing to isolate herself so yeah so eon is nowhere because she's not going to talk to him because she sees him as somebody who will threaten her stability however shaky that stability is no eon is nowhere because um as well written as this has been in terms of the personal dynamic between rob and helen it's badly written in terms of the uh the social network around her they've just forgotten eon uh it's as simple as that yeah because eon would be at least calling texting something he would he would and she hasn't even told him that she's pregnant but then she's not telling anybody is she because she doesn't really want to be pregnant right if she is if she is at all yes that that doctor's interview was one of the worst things i've ever heard that was ridiculous really yeah you don't it was it was just just wasn't like i mean they did then cursed his interview with the health well yeah interviews yeah i suppose there was Mike's interview cursed his interview and now the doctor but it just broke so many rules of how you do it you don't you know she did that you do they do as a part of policy now they do ask you the domestic violence question um you know which which is quite right um but then to say oh you're so lucky other anymore at home like you thought do you don't say you don't just completely inappropriate you don't you don't pass a comment on somebody's you know uh the person that's just fathered at the child you know when they're standing there it's just it's just wildly inappropriate and very strangely done really i'd listen i take it on your say so it's a long time since i was in that situation it was a long time since i was but i still remember it not the only funny thing i remember about um i had a very funny well she's funny now she wasn't bloody funny then um a very scary Jamaican midwife who uh when she came to see to untilie and i came home she came to see me here and um she looked at tilly and um she was older girl and she was just rich she's one of those old Jamaican ladies that don't smile they're just terrifying and she just went hmm she's very beautiful and i went oh and she said yes your husband must be good-looking and there are my cesarean scar weeping you know feeling just i like i've just been backed over by a truck and there's this woman saying to me god she was great and i said um uh when i got pregnant with William they said have you got any particular preference and please don't let me have Mrs whatever he was again no no no i'll tell you when my little boy was born it was a rather long labor and um the doc said to his mum they said right so you've been here for what like 30 hours all right one last push if he doesn't come out we're gonna have to cut him out and she just pushed like a life-dependent on it and and the boy came out and he came out and i looked at him i've never seen a head so long lucid right i looked at my son and i thought i said to myself holy jesus right i'm gonna have to love this for the next 20 hours and i looked at one of the nurses and she obviously saw this kind of look on my face and she went it's because his head's been in the birth canal so oh yes of course that's a good museum don't worry i don't i don't pick Tim up and and then she cleaned him off uh mom gave him a little bit of a kiss in her hug and uh and my my family were waiting in the next room and i remember saying oh crumbs right son you're gonna go and meet everybody now but they'll love you doesn't that what the shape of your head is and in the walk from the from the delivery room to the waiting room that head shrunk so fast oh gosh yeah yeah it was amazing it was absolutely amazing because he come out and he did look like an alien yeah and i said i'll love him anyway he's mine but so let's explain things but anyway let's let's crack on with an ad break come back with a touch of merely then hashtag the archer's tweets of the last seven days um my name is Kate my name is Jo my name is Nicola my name is Suzanne Herkemy my name is Mary Parkinson i'm in hope house as a client um i have had addiction issues um uh hope as um i was in the legion eating disorder heroin um addiction treatment drugs methadone alcohol or maybe because it got really bad a long last a thousand and one conversations is available to download from i chews and all good podcatchers this was a place where women worked to help other women hello just a quickie sarah smith cloths are really useful if you soak them in gin and make a marvellous molotov cocktail if you ever get the desire to burn down a yurt sarah smith for the posher washer fancy getting your mouth around something warm something comforting you can really get a firm grip on why not buy a dumb-dee-dum mug from the shop at dumb-dee-dum.com those damn lovely good day everyone it's mitty-bell here on a lovely lovely spring day in northern Victoria in australia and let's get straight into it's been a very busy week on facebook on all of the sites niki smith in arches appreciation says to the script writers think we are complete idiots they are clearly using the same actors to play the turkeys and the geese fair comment niki fair comment Lisa Geary on arches omnibus appreciation says who on earth is Jimmy Miller and his wife apparently they have a lot of rabbits on their land and at the hunt cross and buy an amazing coincidence these characters who seem to have appeared from a different time space dimension out of the ether happened to be visited at the same time by three local characters we know the rabbit catchers and hunt organizers are on their land but they are presumably on another wavelength as i heard nothing from them another good point Lisa you're on the ball i did ask a question about alex and the way he was treating favy and i just wondered what others thought and joe da bank said i think alex and favy are there for a dramatic contrast to hell on the rob fieby will see right through it and kick him into touch i'm not sure why eddie so worried about the cows he managed to get these ones with magic beans or similar certainly not money he can just get more surely m johnson says alex and rob should we be worrying about the writers these are both controlling men rufsonson said and what would i make of alex a bump in the patreon alex woodfield said alex should be dumped at the earliest opportunity he thinks is far too good for him the general feeling and we now know of course how that results but this was the general feeling andrea melings said alex needs to get his marching orders almost an upwards phoebe i'm a fan of her some would love the opposite thing to work out for her then uh i was looking at some of the other pages and sharon mccullick said ha ha ha ha ha oh i'm sorry but joe has means dishes and threats oh take that east enders very nice uh rosemary fisher said would mike who's hoping to get a job at barrow farm really go and gossip about a possible problem he's seen there in the pub mmm good point and busy v said does anyone else think it's significant the rob hat to correct himself from calling jess's wife to correct it to his first wife and a few people a few sites raised that uh carol smith said roy you're a darling now that you've sorted phoebe up can you have a word with fruit uh just a few roundups from some of the other pages uh first of all for the first time in oh weeks and weeks it looks as though peggy may win worst character of the week on upstairs at the ball peggy and the way she spoke about other family members was just atrocious and that's been recognized by the listener uh there was a little bit of discussion why is she quite a lot of discussion about the midwife would she really ask those questions on a first interview are they standard questions to ask whether she's being harmed in any way or was she reflecting a concern so i think we'll find more about that and finally i just wanted to congratulate any of you who are celebrating your anniversary of your archer's facebook site so it's obviously a year ago now that the original site closed down and others sprung up and they they are really very popular and they all have their own character their own personality the administration is and moderating is done in very different ways i'm lucky because i get to depend on our tourism and i do enjoy the different flavors so congratulations to you all i hope you all partied hard and haven't got too bad a headache and just don't forget if you do like a party there's the dumped it up meet up on the 14th of november and there's another meet up earlier in the day we've also put that on to our website so hope you have an awesome week everybody awesome i'll see you next week hoorah you're back in the saddle millie bell uh well done i really enjoyed that um now Lucy uh tell us what your best tweets were that you came by in the last seven days that have the words the archers and a hashtag before thank you very much please Christopher Owens said granddaughter of philandering country score with new age trust fund reliant mother yes feeds you'll never fit in at oxford um ginger beans said about the poor old cows i reckon some fresh air got in they're not used to it um uh just in farrington who is becoming something of a um uh twitter star uh said scruff is raising a bovine army on the far side of lakey hill i've got visions of it being like zulu scruff surrounded by ed's cow suddenly appearing on the horizon um michael maran said she was doing the doctor's visit uh this next part is a little delicate but i win the sinister grip of a domineering monster at all uh cake kryton said birth plan leave rob outside and uh said duckling tuft was treated weak we haven't heard with wages in the interview with charlie and mike charlie can you see yourself out mike if i turn sideways and use my good eye i stand a chance he's never referred to is it the joy of the joy of mike only having one eye is just a gift that keeps on giving it really is even for terry terry mace stokes about it all the time because it never gets mentioned fab right i think we're just about done that's been a good in this one um right now uh we need to do the belts and braces stuff Lucy we can't just like say it's over and then just like go what are you gonna do today the dishes uh the dishes no i'm yeah you're a little lady aren't you i am yes i'm going to sit at home and wash up and do my nails and or you can watch the view i'm going to watch cash in the attic or something well before you watch did i tell you that was my did i tell you that but that was my first compliance warning no when i wrote my first bbc script radio full script um i got a compliance warning where they tell you tell you off for using rude words or something and it said um cash in the attic is a rude book no it said uh lucy freeman compliance warning derogatory reference made to cash in the attic and i said please can i have please can i have that compliance review and they said no they're very important it's very important official document compliance thing and i said oh no go and it's only about cash in the attic let me have it and they said no you're not taking it seriously so i wasn't allowed it i wanted to frame it anyway sorry Stalin is repressive all the noise actually is there where's the freedom of speech speech and expression that's what i say right but if you want to complain about that or anything else go don't be dumb come and join in the debate on the forum uh you can also join with a very good thread at the moment started by john the first which is the christmas show thread or you can actually start one of your own all right i choose news remember when you did um a way to abated breath for a list of listeners who had written a review for the show and i choose well after me saying last week please write to the i'd review we have three we have one from morgan ny ny who hails from the colony that got away paul uh yd one one no it's pauly d is paul douglas hello paul oh right i'll make him go already if i say that he gets flustered because he listens to me walking around morgan stow and then he sees me and he goes ha and we also have one from uh tindara s who talks about her love of witherspoons musings if you want to keep the show help keep the show on the road there are a couple of ways that can be done you can go to patreon.com forward slash dump to dump and and uh support the show for two dollars uh or if you want to simply donate you can go to dump to dump.com and hit the donate button cool uh remember please we need you to get in contact with us because without you it has me and lucy talking about births and deliveries and all kind of stuff it was with funny shaped heads yes and to do that you can send us a voice message via our website through an application called speakpipe which is little tab on the right hand side or you can call us on the phone because i know that a few people are having problems um speakpipe has been upgraded and i think it's not working necessarily with ios 9 um so hence uh you can call us on zero two zero three zero three one three one zero five to leave us a message if your tablet or mobile type device is not a working with speakpipe on social media well specifically uh twitter we are at dumdee dum or you can tweet me when i'm at royfield or me at lucie p freeman or sera smith at sera underscore and i never say this and i really should we are actually on facebook obviously and just go on to facebook and type in uh dumdee dum and you can join us in there some i don't know eight hundred and odd people that like they're kind of talking about stuff uh which is uh about the arches so they vaguely probably mmm no i always get this huge sense of doom whenever i have to update my mobile you know when it says a new operator do you want to do you want to do um you know you get that system app thing don't you app upgrade and it's do you want to update all and every instinct every five of your being is screaming no because you know you're going to do it and then 90 percent of your apps and never going to work in the same way ever again mmm yeah and then you have the next kind of like two weeks or so where you have to keep an update you know there's a new version of this version of that oh yes we accidentally forgot to just put that bit in because now that bit won't work and oh god tell you what talk about first war problems right lucie because that is a first war problem you're coming out with it but do you know i don't i don't know i don't know how people in syria managed to keep keep quiet about this sort of thing when that's what they should really be wearing well funny you should say that right but wasn't that one of the one of the things that people were helping um helping the the syrian migrants refugees basically said is that these are people like us they have smart phones aren't weird and wonderful people from some god for sake and backwards country these are doctors lawyers etc etc look they they have but people were using that as a reason to denigrate them weren't they say well they're not they're not does and you know for most people when when that aeroplane on the tarmac caught fire people went back for their hand luggage so if people are prepared to go back into a burning plane to bring out a copy of a dan brown novel and you know in credit card and whatever dodgy clarry by whatever lagerfeld that you got at the you know the duty free thing if you're prepared to risk burning to death on a plane for that then if you're about to flee for your life probably taking a phone just like us got your contacts in it and every you know yeah of course they of course they would and of course they would have those photos just ridiculous people are so weird about this stuff can i just make a little plug for my yes my thousand and one conversations uh so thousand one conversation so i did hope house women on addiction the next one is going to be about refugees and migrants and i have the testimony of my brother who came in the back of a lorry from afghanistan then also one of our wonderful listeners clarry dayby who helps refugees and is actually going to san was going to callee anyone know that but who's going to callee no they shut songat and then they opened another one who's going to callee yes um in uh it's really edit there for you so if if you dear listener have a particular insight or story uh which you'd like to share with me and with the listeners of a thousand one conversations around migrants and refugees please give me a tinkle and i'll get you on the show there you go any parting shots no if you're looking for an easy workout you're in the wrong place peloton tread has what you need to challenge yourself to be greater need to be pushed to your limit their elite coaches will keep you on track to breaking past your goals 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