DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'
Dum Tee Dum Episode 79 – Jane Perrone
“Don’t cry for me” said the plants as Jane Perrone the horticultural editor of the Guardian joined our hosts this week; so it is a highly organic and very educational podcast with mentions of the restorative powers of dettol and sugar solutions, mince pies (team Roifield on this one), stollen, urine and compost heaps.
Roifield has decking in his back garden whilst Lucy admitted to a very large bush. Jane advises that there may be rats living under the decking so removing it needs the attention of her lurcher. Jane reckons The Archers team generally get gardening matters right; she has been listening for the last 15 years and it is now her little daily treat and then she mentioned many other podcasts.
Jane predicts that the Titchenor story will explode at Christmas and she supports the existence of some villainy in the village but she does feel that having a baby is often not well portrayed on the programme. There seems to be some circumstantial evidence that Helen may not actually be pregnant – even though she has done two tests. The doctor did not do a test.
There is a groundswell growing for Rex, although less so for Toby, but it does seem they may be around for the long term and the cooperation between the Grundy boys was noted. Everyone was hugely pleased to hear Jazzer back, especially in his double act with Jim. Lucy highlighted Joe’s comments on Rob’s faux behaviour as a member of the landed gentry as she and Joe are as one in their recognition of class differences.
Millie Belle had a full update of online activities with a lot of positive comments about developments including Jim and Jazzer whilst Yorkshire Tea was discussed at length. Millie herself gets deliveries of tea direct from Sri Lanka – another place that I have enjoyed visiting.
The writing desk turned up again in the Tweet of the Week.
Bridgend is in Shropshire says Lucy (more often found in mid-Glamorgan) whilst Blairgowrie is in Scotland to give a “B” place, north of the Border.
Kosmo
On this week’s episode we have calls from:
Paul Roome who’s got his calendar out
Witherspoon who gets Jazzer in the psychiatrist’s chair
Goddess Deeva who has a wish for Helen
and Yokelbear who’s worried about the unbridled hand of capitalism.
E-mailTwitterThe post Dum Tee Dum Episode 79 – Jane Perrone appeared first on DumTeeDum.
- Duration:
- 1h 21m
- Broadcast on:
- 12 Oct 2015
- Audio Format:
- other
This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dum T Dum. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith cloths are eco-friendly, reusable and washable. And, you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer. Proud sponsors of Dum T Dum. Hello, Dum T Dum as of the world. It's Annie Brown here. You might remember me from the awards ceremony last year. And this is my very, very, very late thank you for my birthday card that I received last year February from Losey and Royfield. And also, before I get onto my Dum T Dum, could I ask the dumpty dumpty dumpty dumpty dumpty dumpty dumpty dumpty dumpty-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-d in a core college in Voila Mental Health Department. If you're interested in a career in catering, come and learn about Darioi Jean and Chee's making and washing your hands. Carefully. - These these don't need on the show about the really ducky drama that's centered on Ambridge in the heart of the Midlands. I'm the lamp in the darkness that is for you for a brown and with me have the smelly old lurchard that is. - Lucy Freeman. - And today we are joined by the green-fingered archer super fan who is Jane Perron. - Woo hoo. And the last part of our poaching exhibition, folks, is you. Now you, dear listener, will probably find that the monologue and the listener calls a bit of a slog this week, but bear with us because boy do we have some block busting news for you at the end of the show. And now today's Dummy Dump is from a Dummy Diddler. Annie AKA Tivy Button. Wasn't that really sweet Lucy? - Yeah, it's very sweet. - I love a bit of little Annie action. She's awesome. Now, and there's also some Dummy Diddler news later on as well. But first, before all that, Lucy, can you remind our listeners how that when the AKA Tivy Dumber of the week? - Yes, if you would like to sing us a Dummy Dump, give us a plot prediction or retrieve your dentures from the Gay Graebels Lost Property Box. Ring us on 0-20-3-0-3-1-3-1-0-5, or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thanks to lovely shampages for her amazing voices to Cosmo for his podcast, round-ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Thanks also to Derek for the loan in the back bedroom. He's very busy this week. He's very concerned about the VW emissions testing stuff. He drives a Volkswagen prostate, as we know. He followed the instructions about having his emissions tested, but the garage sent him home when he turned up with a little jam jar full. - What you like, you? But it's also something topical. - I know, I do try, you know. Well done. The other thing which is always left in hotels is iPhone charger leads. Yes. - But it's not as fun as I think. - Did you know that iPhone, Apple, do a really, there's a really interesting test that they do to make sure that whatever iPhone lead they supply you with, it's always got to be just one inch too short to reach the bedside table from the plug-up. (laughing) - Really? - They go to a lot of efforts to do, achieve that. Consistently. Whichever model you get, it's all always the same. - But you know what though? - What? - All right, I feel that this show is that gag, or that observation is not going to be in keeping with the tenor of this show. I feel that this show is going to be all kind of organic. - Yes. - Yeah, and kind of like plant-based. - Right. - So let's not have any of that at all. - Okay. - Right, smashing. Now on this week's show, we have calls from Paul Vroom, who's got his calendar wrap, with a spoon who gets jazzy in the psychiatrist's chair. God, it's Deva, who has a wish for Helen, and Yoko Bea, who's worried about the on-bridled hand of capitalism. God, I'll be all. (laughing) Are you worried about the on-bridled hand of capitalism, Jane? - I'm terrified. - Absolutely terrified. - Hmm. - Totally. Hazel is a figure of nightmares for me. - I mean, there's cuddly capitalism, and there's kind of, you know, there's the Brian's dark cuddly-cuddly. All he was kind of cuddly capitalism, isn't he? - Well, he was caring capitalist, wasn't he? He was kind of interested in the community, and all that stuff. - Hmm. - Like with the shop and everything. - He was. - Yeah, well, yes, that's right. Or was that all just, you know, was that all just a front for, you know, is that, well, just that his way of-- - Yeah. - You know, get invading. - Well, that was, that was Hazel's defense, isn't it? She says, my daddy was a businessman, you know, whatever, whatever, he does scheme, she's, she's, and she's right, he is, really. - Was. - Was. - Oh. - Oh, no, miss, miss a bit of Jack, don't we? - Yeah, that's true. - But before we reminisce, why don't we hear about Lucy V. Freeman's Week in Ambridge? (upbeat music) - It was a week read in tooth and claw in Ambridge. Ferting, lamping, dead rabbits everywhere, funeral plans. But obviously the storyline we're almost concerned about and the one that's getting harder to listen to is Jill and her gigantic room at Lower Locksley. The scroll works getting on our wick and she doesn't like the curtains. I don't know how she carries on, personally. Gemma Hawkins is having a goose this year. I just thought you'd, you'd should know. Jerome's gone to Belgium and Roscoe Joeliffs at the bottling plant and Roy's is following up on those dentures, so that's all good. Could we just pause for a moment, Roscoe Joeliff? Yes. Eddy spent the week trundling round the village, forcing rabbits on people in an effort to realize that rabbit is so boring, it might make them want to buy geese. It's an unusual marketing strategy and it is going as well as you'd expect, really. You mustn't let her end define your memories of her said Carol to Jill, eh? Everyone always remembered Granny Heather, said Pip Piersley, everyone except her daughter, who managed to quite successfully forget her for months on end. The village supported Ruth through her mourning in its own inimitable style. Eddy bought her two dead rabbits and everyone else told her they're a bit bored now and could she stop going on about it, please? Dan is a troop leader, dip, dip, dip, but they're going to have a family party to celebrate it along with Jill's 143rd birthday, so that'll go well, they don't learn the archers, do they? The first leaf on the tree has started to go vaguely copper-coloured and Linda has sprung interaction about the sodding Christmas sodding show. Linda held up all the guests, or rather Charlie Thomas anyway, who seemed to be the only person in gay grables, apart from huge numbers of staff and the grondies, looking up shows and what flops or bats or buns, or whatever it is they're called, are doing. The show, whatever it is, is going to be at Lower Locksley, fresh from its success with Cozy Fan Tute, we're going to have to endure Cozy Fanny Tootie Fruity, with the inevitable will they won't, they Christmas show romance, unwilling actors being hauled into play wildly unsuitable roles that they turn out to be brilliant at. Robert Snell only heard us a banging noise off stage, Neil clearing his throat in a long-suffering way, and Linda getting on everyone's wick until we're all completely sick of Christmas by November the 22nd. Neil, in his role as Village Butros Butros Garley, had to break the sad news to Charlie Thomas at the village had unanimously decided to reject Justin Elliott's offer to rebuild the village hall. On condition, it was renamed the We Heart Justin Hall. Neil told him how they were using a practically professional team to build the village hall, Fallon, Neil, Robert Snell, a woman who does up Teapot's a computer programmer, and Neil, it'll just be a massive pig arc with Calfe Kidston wallpaper. Adam had two conversations this week in which I completely drifted off. I did try, but he started on about grazing patterns and share farming and blah, de-blah, and I just start tearing the music for the magic roundabout playing in my head. I just cannot concentrate on Adam unless he's being all intense and sexy about Charlie. So for all I know, he could have suggested a brine that they pave over the fishing lodge and put Jenny on the game. They are renewing the kitchens and the bogs at the ball, possibly combining the two for efficiency reasons, a combination you're a rhino and steamer, for instance. Lewis suddenly popped up again at Lower Locksley scene, but not heard, and Mike is apparently coming back to get a job at Barrow Farm, which makes no sense in anyone's universe. It's like all the characters are in a snow globe, someone's shaking it up, they all go sailing up in the air wherever they land, so they have to start again from there. For instance, Jenny Darling and Carol Tomogran are now bestie friendies. Ed and William are now doting brothers who went to check on the poachers together. They had lamps and lurches, which is the name of the new gastropub in Darrington. Anyway, Ed reckons it was four blokes and two dogs in a van that was possibly yellow. Yellow, what was it, a bloody ice cream van? But the good news is, Jazza returned, whoopee! He is fed up with Pat's recurring ratatouille, the after effects of the chickpea casserole is upsetting the pigs and he's cheesed off with living at Bridge Farm. I imagine it like the House and League of Gentlemen. Here is the downstairs convenience into which we do not pass solids. He said Eddy was a Zen master in the art of abuse. Now I don't know a great deal about Zen, but I am fairly sure abuse isn't one of the arts they train. The only people who have twigged that Rob is the devil incarnate is Eddy and Joe. Hurrah for the grondies. Let's hope Florence the ferret nips up his trouser leg and gets her razor-sharp teeth round his titchin' up. The end! (laughs) Hey Lucy. - What? - I enjoyed that this week. - Thank you, Rife. - You know, you're actually getting better at this. You were, you know, you, you know, have you been doing what? - Well it's been, it's been 17, 7, 9 times. - Yeah. - It's been, it's been several weeks now until you've threatened to fire me. (laughs) So, I think I'm doing well. - No, to be fair, that gag got tired in about week three. - I know, okay, Karen. - It did. But, I didn't realize it was a gag. I was on tenta hooks the whole time. (laughs) - You know what though, Lucy? - Yes. - I am super duper excited because we have a special guest with us this week, don't we? - We do. - We do. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not the most green-fingered of people. In my back garden, guess what I've got? - Paving stones and pots. - Almost just decking. - Really? - Yeah, just decking. But I'm thinking of ripping the bugger up. Is people like you that are stopping sparrows and things? - Really? - Yes. There's no hedges. No one has hedges and no one has pot plot. No one has bushes and things like that for them to nest in it. - Nobody in London has a bloody bush or a hedge. - I do. - Do you? - I have a very large bush, not that it's anything to do with you. (laughs) - Jane? - Yes. - There's an obvious gag there, but I'm not going to ask you about your bushes. - I'm not supposed to look at one more. (laughs) - Hello, how are you? - I'm good, thanks. I'm looking in and out of my garden. There is no decking. There used to be decking. My decking warning, Royce, is that when you do rip it up, sometimes you find there's things living under there that you might not realise were there. - Rats. - It's really like decking. It's just, you know. - Just remember that. - What about Beth Jordash's dad? Will he be underneath me decking? Or is that just a reference to the brook side that's lost on everything? - Well, I think that was packed here. That was stone. - It was, that was. - You might need to get Will to get whatever his dog's name is to come around and just be on alert to deal with any rats that come running out. - Yeah. - It's Will. - We've got a new dog after-- - Oh, I don't remember that. - He has to because he keeps dogging the pheasants in. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - There's a lot of dogging going on. Yeah, I mean, or I could send Wolfy my nurture. He will probably do a good job too. - Is it true that if you want to like, you know, pepper be compost, have a bit of a waz on it? - Yes, that is indeed true. - Do you waz on your compost? - Well, that would be an interesting logistical challenge given that my two compost bins are sort of-- - You get a sheet week. - They look like, I could do. - And a hose, some sort of hose attachment. - So I'd have to be sort of crock squatting over them which would be, I mean, I do, I, yeah, I have been known to collect urine from various sources within the family, I should pay them to say. - People in the park. - Do you know what I've realised? We haven't actually said that you are the garden-- - Yeah, you are. - Garden journalist. - Excuse me properly, yes. So, I mean, this is why I know about this stuff. Randomly, you're not just a whole been urologist or anything like that. - No, no. It's not really because I knew this stuff before I was the garden editor, but yes, I am the gardening editor at the Guardian. So this kind of stuff, we get lots of questions about composting, so yeah, you tend to sort of work up a bit of a repertoire. And when I do a talk about composting, sometimes I go and give talks at gardening clubs, which I have to say is probably the closest to real life the arches that I ever get is when you go and give a talk to a village gardening club and oftentimes people like to sort of be squeamish about the wee aspect. - Exactly. - Nobody does any live demonstrations, do they? - Well, I usually take along some composting worms with me, if that counts as a live demonstration, not of the weeing. - That's what I mean. - No, that's sort of a show, do you think it is? - Right, Phil. - There's a rule that, and every talk I do, and it's probably a reflection on the quality of the talk, there's always one person somewhere in the audience with their head tipped back and their mouth wide open, fast asleep, every time. (laughing) I try to keep them awake in any way possible, so perhaps that's where I should go next. - Do you think, 'cause obviously there's an agricultural correspondent on the arches, as we know, do they get the gardening stuff right? Is the other right things out at the right time, would Linda's Agapanthes or whatever it was of survived and all that stuff? - They were saying that somebody was complaining about the storyline with the flower and produce, and the roses, the kind of roses. - The Albertine, the Albertine wouldn't have been. - Yeah, but actually, I've got lots of, I'm just looking around my garden, I've got quite a few roses still out now, so I think it depends, you know, the trouble with gardening advice is, you know, it depends, it depends, it depends. Like, if you're in probably far north of Scotland, well, no, you're not gonna have any roses, but if you're sort of south of the Watford Gap, you may well do, so you can't really generalise, but generally on the whole, I think it's actually not bad. I just, yeah, I mean, the storyline with the tomatoes and the sewage was just a good one. And again, I did do some research on that, and my conclusion was, and I'm usually pretty, as you were already detected, pretty late, say, fair about these things, but my conclusion on the sewage was that I probably wouldn't have eaten those tomatoes, so I don't know if there's gonna be any repercussions on that front, but you're better off with some homemade compost rather than sewage. - So which came first, your love of horticulture or was it the arches? - Well, I don't think I could reason. I always say, this wasn't my quote, but somebody once said this, and I think it's very true, that you, the arches is like a sort of genetic inheritance or something you catch, a disease you catch of somebody else. So I remember my mum making the Sunday lunch and it's sort of a steamy kitchen with a veg on, and the arches being on as a child. And, you know, as a child, I was also into growing stuff, and I remember, you know, like sowing parsley seeds and coming back half an hour later and not understanding what had come up yet. It's probably about five. So both have been things that have been kind of lifelong interests. The arches, I kind of, I lived in the States for a bit in my 20s, so I didn't listen to the arches then, 'cause it wasn't really in the era when one could download podcasts and so forth. But I came back to it probably about 15 years ago and have been, really the podcast stage really got me absolutely dedicated in my listening. Before that, I was a bit more patchy. But now I, it's my little treat. It's my little treat in the day, I think. Oh, I just need a little downtime. So that's my treat, is listening to the arches from the day before. So, you know, when Carol Tragorran came into it or came back into the average, did you get all excited? 'Cause she's all about gardens and the high trangers and all that malarkey, isn't she? - I love the way that everyone is so absolutely freaked out by her sort of herbal remedies. And I mean, it's sort of making it all sort of magical and more burnt. - You're wet, you're wet, she's making a herbal tea. - But you know, I mean, I guess that's somebody who, like, uses her for all kinds of things. I'm just, it doesn't sort of freak me out in the same way. But there is a lot of sort of, not everyone that sort of understands that world. And it is something you have to kind of read up on and gin up on. You can't just go and grab a load of leaves out of the garden and boil up the kettle and pour them over and expect to do you good. So there is good reason why people sort of treat them. I just, I love her approach. And I'm just wondering whether, well, I don't know, I'm a bit offended by the relationship between her and Bert, but it all seems a little bit sort of master and servant. And I find that a bit painful. I just wish she got out there with her spade herself. But perhaps she's not, I don't know how old is she, you know, right? 70s, 80s, perhaps she's not asked to it. - Yeah, I think she must be 70s. - Yeah. - Something I've never understood is Jennifer Aldridge clearly has this vast garden and no gardener. But she never seems to garden. - Yeah. - And you'd imagine it would be immaculate because she's Jennifer and she wouldn't be able to stand there and look at a rose that looked, you know, half an hour past its best. But who does it? - No, she would definitely need a gardener. I mean, but she's not out there in a pair of, where this is, you know, mowing the lawn or, and Brian's not doing it. So who is, we need to know. - Well, yeah, I think everyone needs a tick of, don't they? I need a tick of them. I could very much put a tick to look. Tits come to work in my garden for hours and hours and hours doing various tasks. - Yeah, gardeners are great. And, you know, you don't want to feel-- - But you feel somewhat of a fraud being the guardian's garden and expert if you had a tick of them doing all the heavy lifting. Surely you've got to get in there yourself. - There's only so many hours in the week though, right? And there are things that need doing in my garden that are just really, really time-consuming. Like, I've got a plum tree, which I haven't pruned this summer because I just didn't get round to it. It's a time-consuming job. It involves equipment and keeping the children out of the way 'cause it's, you know, ladders and stuff. So yeah, there's always, there's never enough time in the day. But I mean, I do spend a lot of time in my garden and I've just bought myself a new pushmower, which is very exciting. - A who? - A pushmower. It's like, it's just powered by your own... - Pushing power. - You just push it along. And 'cause my old one was basically expiring. So yeah, that's very exciting. But I just don't have to have... - The garden is equivalent to like a naga. You know, something slightly old-fashioned and to sort them out, it's not a brief value in it. - Yeah, and I nearly bought a vintage one because I thought, oh, that'll be really cool to have a vintage one. Then I thought, oh God, no. And I started talking to experts on Twitter and they started saying, you need to blah, blah, blah, and I'm going, oh, I don't even know what that means. And I just thought, no. - And also, it would be heavy as hell, wouldn't it? - Yeah, they are quite heavy. It's good exercise, I'll say that. But the modern ones are not so heavy, but yeah, it is heavier than my old electric one. But it's good fun. And I really don't have a pristine lawn. My lawn, in fact, my mum, last summer, I was doing this experiment of growing it longer and growing various flowers in it. And my mum said, oh, well, the good thing is, now you've got the rest of the garden sorted out. You can get a new lawn. And I was like, this is how it is. Sometimes my ways are a little unusual, but I have a green roof on my office where I'm sitting right now. And I have had somebody knock on the door and say, I see you've got some weeds on your house. I'd like it to be asked to come and read through it for you. And I said, it's a green roof, isn't it? I mean, in the office, I think I am sort of the weird outlier of, you know, people sort of only come up and ask me questions when they've got something garden related. Otherwise, I'm just sort of the strange person who sits in the corner. I weigh about marigolds. I've got something garden related and not just related. Now, is my mind playing tricks on me, but was Marjorie Antribus? Was she super duperly green-fingered? Oh, now that was in my patchy listening days. And I think she, I don't think she was. I think she was one of those women who sort of, yeah, who sort of wore flowery cottage garden-style dresses. And, but also was quite handy with a trail. That's my memory, but I'm sure someone of your listeners will be able to fill in the gaps there. But there really aren't many, yeah, there aren't many people that are actively, apart from Carol and Bert, that really are sort of actively gardening. But... You'd think Linda Snell, you know, would have a bit of a dabble, wouldn't you? She does. She has her hypoallergenic garden, doesn't she? Yes, you know, yes, I'd forgotten about that. That's actually quite a nice little one. I said it's three foot underwater now, isn't it? Yeah, true, true. Is it lily pads, then? Blood prevention is a real issue. And it's good that they've brought that up into the storyline. But it's one of those things, those ongoing storylines are quite hard to maintain. So, yeah, they kind of keep sort of mentioning it, but actually, realistically, you know, we were more interested in Robin Helen, aren't we? Really? So, what are your plot predictions on the Robin Helen thing? Oh, my God. Well, I think it's going to all come to a head over Christmas in some way, shape, or form, because it's because it's, that's what they want. They want the big Christmas storyline. I think it's going to, but if it's going to be realistic, which obviously, you know, it's the arch, is it's as realistic as not very realistic, but I think it's going to be one of those things where it's going to, it should go on a bit longer, because in real life, these things do go on. It's not an easily resolved situation, and it takes women a long time to realise, to internalise. I know friends who've said this, that they could see other women going through things and go, "Oh, yes, yes, they need to leave their husband." And they didn't realise what was going on themselves in their own relationship. So, I think it's going to take Helen a while to process this and get brave enough to realise that something's really gone awry. And possibly, we need Krusty to come in and make her see sense. - Yeah. - And I mean, I know a lot of people find this storyline very difficult to listen to, and I appreciate that, but I think also it's a very good storyline, because it's bringing us something different that we haven't had before, and you need some villains, don't you? You can't just have it. It can't all be flaring produce. You do need some villains in it. (laughing) So, yeah, I think it's going to, I think the baby storyline, I mean, indeed, there is a baby, so I might call as I question in this. - Yeah, well, exactly. I mean, one of my bagbears is poor depiction of pregnancy and childbirth, because I seem to remember last time, yeah, they're the way that labor is always depicted. It's one minute, they're fine. The next minute. - Yeah. - Oh, no. - You know, it's really not-- - Or waters are breaking dramatically all over the place. - Yeah. - I think you actually say, "Ooh, I feel a bit funny." And then three days later, the baby coming. - Exactly. I mean, that's a funny thing. And you think, "Gosh, is any of these people "who've actually been writing this ever had a baby "or been with anyone who's having a baby?" Because it's just, with that storyline, we're going to end up with a dramatic ending of some kind or other. But it's got to come to a head in some kind of way. It's not going to peter out. It can't peter out. And there's going to be a lot of recriminations once Pat and Tony realize. And once Tom realizes what's been going on, there's going to be, it's going to have a big ripple effect. - It's going to be another thing, isn't it, for Pat to beat herself up about? She beat herself up about John, about Tom and Kirsty, and about Helen's anorexia. And now there's this as well. - Well, I think in a way that's quite realistic in that when something happens, that when there's a domestic violence situation, not that I've been in this situation, but I know from speaking to other people that actually, once it all comes out, everyone around goes, oh my God, if only I realized that this was happening. You know, that is quite typical. I think that will be quite accurate. But it's one of those storylines where I was to say that there's a trigger, which is difficult for some people to deal with. And I do simplify it for those people who are listening, but can hardly bear to listen. That must be a really difficult thing if you're an arches fan. I don't know how you would deal with that. And that's obviously something some of your core liners are experiencing. - Well, even, I mean, it hasn't happened to me. Thank goodness. But when I know it's gonna be a Rob heavy episode, I actually start to feel slightly anxious before I turn it on. Which is incredible to have that reaction. - I know, when the sort of Jazza and Jim episode this week, I was just loving that. - Yeah. - It was so, it was, oh, just in absolute heaven, this thing's like, I love Jazza and I love Jim. So I was just really enjoying that and thinking, oh, this is such a nice episode. This is so nice to hear. - Yeah. - So you kind of get that light and shade, light and shade, that's that. Which is what all good drama consists of really, isn't it? - I tell you what all good podcasts have though. Good listeners. You've not only called me Royve. You've said that, you know, are callers are called callerinerers. - Well, I listened to your podcast every week, mate. I'm a dedicated. - Aren't you just? - I am. So, you know, I'm not just coming on here as a Johnny come lately. - She's not like the cast members who come on and go, is this a blog? What's going on? (laughing) - So no, I'm a real podcast nut. I literally, I'm listening podcast back to back to back all day when I'm gone. - What else do you listen to? And I just imagine that, you know, the world of podcasting is a massive boon to you personally, you know, working out in the garden. So what else do you listen to? - I mean, well, Alice Fowler and I, also a not just fan, if you didn't know that, Alice Fowler and I, that Alice Fowler is our gardening columnist in the garden. We did a podcast ourselves called So Grow Repeat earlier this year, which was really fun to do. And I'm hoping to do some more, but of that. But in terms of ones I listened to, a lot of them are American, I have to say. But I do love answering me this. - Mm-hmm. - I love the illusionist, with the same percentage of Helen Zoltzmann. I also love this one called Mortified, which is people reading out their teenage diaries. Have you heard that one? - Oh, I haven't heard that one. - That's really funny. - But it's truly noted. - That's a good one. - Well, not this American life, do you like that one? - It's American life. Although I was thinking this morning that all the men presenters, all the men male voices you hear on it, sound like Kermit the Frog. And now I've thought, I can't get it out of my mind. So yeah, there are some fantastic podcasts out there. And I'm always looking for new ones. And of course you're very own American presidents, which is very fine. - Ooh. - I've been listening to that as well. So there you go. - What do you learnt? - Oh my gosh, well, the only thing on one of the episodes you had, which I think you've fixed now, you had annoying beeping noises. Am I nearly pushed to say, the annoying beeping noises have got to go. (both laughing) But I didn't. And then I think you re-edited it, didn't you? - Yes. - It's not like that. - Too many people said you've got techno music in it. And I thought, well, actually, it's a piece of Philip Glass classical music, but you did have an electronic bleep in it. - I can't even mind the modernity of it. I just found the beeps a bit distracting. - Well, you were in good company. - Well, I did. - Let's move on. You're criticizing me. Let's move on. (both laughing) - You're only allowed to talk if it's nice, Jane. That's the rule. - I like to speak up for podcasts because I think it's great. And I think it's, and I have to tell you in a small anecdote when I was living in the States. And I, I was living in Louisiana, which is a strange place if you have been there. And the funniest thing was that Bob Dole was a presidential candidate at the time and I actually got to meet him and went on the campaign trail. Anyway, the funniest thing was that people down there, quite a novelty being a Brit down there at the time. And if I said Bob Dole, people would literally fall around laughing and they just make me say it again, say it again. I don't. Bob Dole, honestly. Yeah. So that name's stuck in my head as a failed presidential candidate. - What was this like, 96 then? - Yeah, 95 to 97 there. Yeah, so. - When I first went to New Orleans and my grandfather said to me, go down to the grocery store and get whatever the heck it was. And literally, I'd just come off the plane, met him for the first time, shook his hand and already he's putting me out to work, so to speak. So I go down to the grocery store and I'm queuing up and I'm in deepest, darkest, Louisiana. I'm in New Orleans and I said, excuse me, but can you tell me where the, I don't know, where the cookies are? It was like a scene from a movie. Everybody just like froze, you know, Hamburg's fell out of mouth. It was like such a scene from a movie where, excuse me. Could you tell me where the cookies are? (laughing) - Yeah, that's all the money. I mean, it's amazing. And I imagine possibly as a black person, they, I mean, I remember being asked, are there black people in England, people not being sure about that? And also being asked, do you speak English? - Oh, come on. I had that as well. - What do you think? Hell on a minute. (laughing) Hell, we thought of this. We went to it anyway. So yeah, but how did we get on to this? And it was so podcast. Yeah, podcasts are great. Love podcasts. Love for podcasts. - Thank you, thank you. Now, as I said, I have decking. - Yes. - You know, instead of a lawn and I was actually going to commit the most heinous of kind of gardening crimes by actually having some of that artificial green stuff. - Right. - Right, now, obviously I shouldn't do that. - Well, this is a vex subject. I mean, I would say that if you, if it works for you and if you can have some other things in your garden that are going to sort of ameliorate the lack of biodiversity that's being caused by your astroturf type surface, then I think it's okay. I mean, let's not beat ourselves up. Let's not wear be-wearing hair shirts about this kind of thing. If it's going to make your life easier and like it. - No, but you are silently appalled because you've got to push a mower for goodness sake. - No, I'm not really. I've got a friend who's got two dogs and a smallish garden and a smallish area where she wants to have something green, but she can't maintain long because it's slopey. And she has a fake lawn and I'd say, well, that's very tough. - Yeah, you talk to them much. You don't like going round to see it. - Yeah. (laughs) - Yeah, so I mean, as I say, if you can have some other things in your garden, you know, pollinator friendly flowers and possibly some hedging, then you'll probably, it's fine. But there is obviously a wonderful thing about, I mean, a lawn can be a wonderfully diverse thing, but it all depends on what kind of lawn. If you've got a very sterile monoculture of just grass, then probably you're not going to encourage many insects in the forest. - I'll tell you what would induce me to having like a proper, proper garden. - Yeah. - I love bees. I've got a massive sauce, but the bumblebees. So if Jill Archer was living next door to me, what should I have in my garden to encourage bees? - Well, what you need to think about is encouraging a long period of flowers throughout the year so that there's lots of nectar and pollen at all times. So, you know, there's the common kind of plants that you're going to think about things like, I don't know, lavender and big open face single flowers are really good for bees. So for example, at the minute, my cosmos is actually covered in bees. But you also want to think about things like spring bulbs because early croakters and stuff are really valuable for bumblebees when they're just coming out of hibernation. They like to, they desperately need a source of pollen and nectar then. So if you can encourage early spring bulbs, that's good. And then also stuff late into the autumn as well. So sort of try to get a good balance throughout the year. And there's a really handy list from the RHS called as perfect for pollinators. You can go and look at that list. It gives you a list of everything that you could possibly imagine that's good for bees. So that's worth a peruse. If you're serious about encouraging bees and you will see a massive difference. The other thing you can do is have these kind of bees, mason bee houses where you can encourage mason bees into the garden, which are another kind of bee which are rather lovely, a bit smaller than bumblebees. They're easy to put up and then you'll get some bees sort of living in your garden as well. - I've got, I've had one of those up for two years and the bookers have ignored it. - Where am I supposed to put it? - It's got to be against a, I'm just looking to my garden and figuring out which way that's facing that west, mine's facing west, so it needs to be getting the, yeah, it needs to be getting east or west, I think is best rather than north or south so that it's sheltered and getting the warmth of the sun. - How high up should it be or does that not matter? - Oh, why not? - Because they don't fly that high, do they bees? - No, mind about five foot off the ground. The other thing with mason bees is you have to make sure, because in this age of everyone having soil totally covered with bark chips or plastic or gravel, mason bees need bare soil in order to make their containers for their eggs. So oftentimes in the spring, if I've got bare soil, I'll see these mason bees and it's rain, you'll see these mason bees all over the bare soil, picking up tiny bits of bare soil to take off to the set house. So that's another consideration in modern gardens that everyone covers up the soil, whereas actually we need some bare soil for those bees. So that's a good one. - There's that thing, isn't it, that a tidy gardener, yeah, is sort of ruin us for biodiversity and stuff, because you need a bit of detritus to feed the soil and all that stuff. - Yeah, lots of people are clearing everything away and actually we should be leaving stems. You may, if you're a bit of a neat fruit, you may find this difficult, but stems and dying herbaceous perennials are actually brilliant for overwintering insects. So if you can't bear to actually leave them in place, you can take them down, but stack them somewhere so that those insects have a chance to. - You've just given me a fantastic excuse now to just leave my garden, to go to hell for the next six months. - Well, I was thinking what that sounds somewhat analogous, the podcasting really, if you're a bit sloppy and shitty about it, it's actually quite good. (both laughing) - There is something to be said for it, and you will really notice the difference in terms of the amounts of insects in your garden. It really does make a difference, and you never know, you might get a hedgehog or something also coming in and snuffling amongst the leaves. So yeah, if we can all be a bit less neat freakish, then we will help wildlife no end. That's my little sermon for the day. And yeah, I mean, that's a wonderful thing. And you know, hopefully that will inspire our children to my children, certainly absolutely love coming out and seeing bumblebees bumbling about. I mean, I used to stroke bumblebees as a kid. That was my childhood, so yeah. - Listen, I tried to bring dead bumblebees back to life as a little kid. (laughing) What I used to do, me and my cousin, Noel, used to get tip-top wrappers, right? And then, 'cause you know, debtel's really good for you. Like when you like fell over as a kid, your mom would put debtel on your cuts or whatever, right? So we used to put debtel in one of those tip-top wrappers and put a dead bee in it. And like we'd say, we'll check tomorrow, check tomorrow. It'll be back alive, back alive. Never, ever worked. Why is that? - Because you just round it in debt all your idiots. - You just round it in debt all. I thought, how wrong-headed was that? That was amazing. Well, what you need to do, if you find a bee that's looking, especially in springtime, you find a bee that's looking a bit sad and it can't fly, but it's still alive. You can make up a solution of sugar water and put it on a tiny drop of it on a saucer and put the bee on the saucer and the bee will drink the sugar solution and will revive. So there you go. If it's not fully dead, there is hope, but not debtel, please. - Okay, that's amazing. (laughing) - Right, just before we leave the other loaves, I don't know about you, but they've seen the other loaves. Other than, so we've got Carol Trigorran, Linda Snell, Jill gets out in the garden every now and then as well, doesn't she, right? - Yeah. - But who has the greenies fingers in Andbridge, do you reckon? - Well, I think it's, and the minute it's got to be Carol or Bert, no, it's not sure. - She's the one who actually knows the stuff. - Yeah. - Well, don't you know what that thing would be? - You know that thing with the pumpkin or whatever it was that blew up, they put sugar water? - Oh God, yes. - Would that have actually happened? - Well, I did, again, I did a bit of digging around about this, I mean, maybe-- - See what you did there, digging around, well done. - But I think that probably it is possible. I mean, you can do all kinds of crazy things with members of the cucurbit family. I mean, you know, when I was a-- - Were they, are they silence? (both laughing) - What was the cucurbit down the road? - No, you can, I mean, when I was living in Louisiana, lots of people used to like feed watermelons with alcohol and then you'd like have it as a part for a party and you'd stick a straw in it and drink it. - Wow. - Yeah, that was a-- - So there are things-- - That sounds lovely. - That sounds lovely. - Because of the sugar content. - Well, I think you have my flap in it. - Consume it, I've never heard of one exploding, but you know, anything's possible in the crazy world of vegetables. I have exploded a pumpkin in the microwave before and there is photographic evidence about whatever. - That was to make a hell of a mess. - A really good idea to microwave a whole miniature pumpkin in the microwave and I didn't realise it was like an egg in that, you know, ultimately, pressure would build up and it exploded. - I did that with a mince pie yesterday. - Oh, mince pie scalding, it's a seasonal hazard. - Absolutely absolutely. - Do you see some? - It's October, what the hell are you eating mince pies for? - Because I love a mince to me and I went into Sainsbury's yesterday and looked at some Sarah Smith wipes. Couldn't see any 'cause it was just a Sainsbury's local. I saw the mince pies, I went, you know what, I'm really against this early Christmas stuff, but this is one bit early Christmas, I'm very happy. I couldn't run home far enough with the buggers, I'm telling you. - Well, yeah, I'm a bit like that with little Stalin. Have you ever had little Stalin from Lidl? - Oh, I haven't. - Oh, it's a deadly thing to buy because you just can't stop eating it. So I'm holding back for the minute, but yeah. - Right, Phil, do you want to rethink you saying, I love a mince to me? (laughing) - Oh, well, I do though, listen on that note, why don't we see what the great corneringer is so the whole kit and caboodle that he's dubbed you don't have to say about the last week's goings on? (bell ringing) - Hello, I'm bridge 3962. - Lucy? - Yeah. - Corneringer is who's first? - That's a good question, who's first? Ah, with a spoon! (upbeat music) - Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs, massive. Greetings, Lucy Royfield, and all dumpty dumbers around the world. It's with a spoon and Angus Haggis here on a lovely autumnal, or as we say, fall afternoon here in New York City. We're getting ready to look at the pretty leaves back in old Kinderhook this weekend. It was a fine weekend average. Feeling as if the archers was getting back to its roots, welcoming back old friends and beginning new story lines. I had a quite visceral reaction of happiness when I heard Jazor's voice again. I've never been a big fan of Jazor, too conniving and selfish for my taste. Will he ever buy someone a pint at the bowl? But I know he has a good heart and is an important character in the fabric of this village's life. I wonder about his upbringing. I imagine he must have had one filled with much deprivation and many sad events. I do know that his early years as an adult were defined by his substance use and petty crimes. Having landed an amperage myself after the millennium, I asked other listeners to fill in the gaps for me. It seemed like no sooner did Lucy last week speculate about Roy and Elizabeth getting back together, than Roy was entertaining a phone call from Elizabeth, where he could have told an easy white light to Phoebe, but he was honest with her, good for him. And I liked that Phoebe later apologized for her reaction. I do hope that she gets into Oxford. Hey, this Brooklyn boy got into Princeton back in the day. Now whether Roy and Elizabeth got back together, I don't see it, but I've been wrong before. I love this brewing battle between the Fair Brethren and the Grundes. I'm team Grundy on this, as I'm sure almost all of us are. But I'm okay with Rex and like the conversation he and Ruth had. They do have a business to run, but while I hope it fails because I want to see the Fair Brethren running around after lots of geese, I think they are going to be around for a long time. I could see Pip marrying Rex, a man like her father, and they both having to deal with the machinations of Phoebe, a man much like Uncle Kenton. And regarding that other brotherly duo and the new Poacher storyline, how did you like Ed and Will acting as a team? Quite well done, I thought. Others may disagree. We can never have a week without touching upon Helen and Rob. While I think that Rob is a thoroughly despicable man, I don't think he's gaslighting Helen in order to get rid of her, but he does it to better control her and create the perfect stepford wife and family. So on that movie reference, we'll sign off. It's Witherspoon and Angus Haggis, wishing you happy hunting. (upbeat music) - Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs, mercy. - Jazza on the couch. I think you're a little bit hard on Jazza about him being ungenerous and not buying anyone a pint and all that stuff. Because Joe Grundy's made an entire career for 93 years out of never buying anyone a pint in the bowl. So really you can't be too hard on Jazza for that. But I think when things really matter, Jazza is a genuinely good guy. - Absolutely. - Like, he's not taking the hardship fund, he's not taking that because he said there's other people that need it. And he put aside his own feelings for Fallon to encourage her to get together with harassment. And you know, he's, when he doesn't fall for any of the middle class village bullshit, which is quite nice, you know, the silly competitions and all that. And he'll quite happily cheat out rageously and all that sort of thing. But I kind of like him for that really because it's offset by his genuine good heart. And he's kind of a bit of a philosopher really, which is kind of why he gets on with Jim, I think. Sort of, he knows how things are for people like the grandis and, you know, he kind of understands. He's quite a sort of a class warrior in the best sort of way in that he understands the way the class system works and how middle class people will perceive things in one way and working classes in another and all that sort of thing. I think he's a fabulous character and I'm so pleased he's back. - Totally underutilized. - Yep. - Totally underutilized. - But he does tend to take over every scene that he's in. So if he was used more, it would be the jazzer show. - Would that be a bad thing? (laughing) - The jazzers, doo doo doo doo doo doo, played on the back pipes. It probably would be a bad thing because it's, because he is so different, you wouldn't want to overuse him and then not have that lovely, oh, jazzer, you know, when he does turn up. - Okay. (laughing) - And, Paul Rimm. - The clever calderinerers in last week's podcast really got me thinking about the Helen and Rob situation. I hadn't considered that Helen might not be pregnant, but Auntie Jean's call suggesting this is brilliant. It all makes perfect sense now. I had initially thought that the scenes where Helen kept running off were her having panic attacks as they seemed to coincide with some Rob-related nastiness, rather than her quickly going off to be sick due to a pregnancy. In the scene where Rob lost the plot over Fallon being involved in the shop and Helen told him she was pregnant, as Auntie Jean says, it felt as if Rob was gonna hit Helen and so did she offer up a false pregnancy to try and calm him down. After they both went to the GP, Rob expressed surprise that the doctor had not done another pregnancy test, which, by the way, would not usually be double checked by the GP. So the script writers have given a doubt about the pregnancy actually being real. And at present, we have no proof apart from Helen's say-so. On the other hand, the date of the assumed marital rape scene was the 27th of August from the excellent low-field website of summaries. Helen was first noticed to look pale by Jennifer a bit early, at only 12 days later on the 8th of September, but perhaps this was due to her coming to realise what Rob is rather than pregnancy, as she was understandably subdued since the terrible event. She first had to rush away on the 23rd of September when she would be about six weeks pregnant. So this works with Helen actually being pregnant. It would come to a huge massive dramatic head with Helen not actually being pregnant. Her main pregnancy scan should be around Christmas when, according to reports from the recent Radio Times Festival, the storyline comes to a head. She would have to admit to Rob that she wasn't actually pregnant and only said it to placate him. He would go mad with her about him being humiliated around the village by this. And I don't like to think of the resulting horrific consequences. Of course, the most likely option is that I'm overthinking at all, need to get out more. This occurred during the first series of broad church on ITV when I was hooked and drew out timelines and flow charts, taking in all the evidence, only to be completely wrong. I had forgotten that it was a drama and not real life and the writers can do what they want with red herrings and false trails. And I think the same is happening in the archers, the brilliant script writing and plot planning. I can't wait for the first mention of Helen not sharing that she is pregnant yet isn't she keeping her figure still and such like to cast further doubt in our minds about the pregnancy. One further thought from this week is that shouldn't PC Burns have informed his superiors about having Fallon as a girlfriend and now them being shacked up together? I'm no expert on police procedural but her father being a convicted drug dealer surely counts as a relative to the criminal conviction that police officers have to disclose. No mention has been made of this as far as I can recall even if Harrison was the arresting officer at Loxfest. And if he doesn't do it, I'm going to dop him into the Gorsuch Chief Constable. - I didn't know, is that right? Do we have any police listeners? Because Paul says that Harrison would have to declare that he was living with Fallon because her father is a criminal. They're only living together, I mean, it's not like part, it's all a bit of a grey area, this partner's business, isn't it? I mean, when I was younger, you'd have a friend who kind of went on three dates with the bloke and start referring to him as my partner and you'd think, "Hey, you've got to know." - Do people really call their partners partners in the 1980s? - When I was, you're cheeky-guit. Well, all right, younger then. - All right. - Yeah, and also he reckons as well, he's been getting his calendar out and reckons that the Helen Storlan's going to kick off at Christmas. I think we all know that that's coming, so, yep. - Which does, to me, feel slightly truncated in terms of the pacing of this storyline, but I actually kind of want this to be over and done with. You know, but I appreciate that whatever happens and even if Rob gets his comeuppance as it deserves, he's going to be returning like a bad penny. - Yeah. - You know, he's no way he's just going to be written out forever, just impossible. - Yeah. - Hello, Dunstan, I've got to see the hearth at the moment, unemployed, and a potential counselor, I'm telling the election. (laughs) I should do it in average, really. I'd scare the absolute shit out of them. What I want to say this week is about we domestic violence and the inhalant pregnancy, it's going to get worse. Mine didn't really take off until I got pregnant. I've got hospitalized twice. It should have been a lot more, but I was too scared to go to hospital. My one wish for Helen would be that she has a termination, grabs Henry and run after Canada is necessary. God, as Steve as wish for Helen is that she gets out of there and she has an abortion if she is pregnant. I am starting to think that actually she's not now. She didn't want Rob to come to the doctor's appointment. I think the vomiting was more to do with, I think as Paul Rims said, it's more to do with anxiety around Rob and just, you know, when you've had a condition like bullying or anorexia, vomiting is a stress reaction. It's something that happens, you know, very easily to you. - But hasn't she, she'd go to the docs and the doctor gave her, you know, a positive result? - No, you don't get tested. They'd take your word for it. - Oh, 'cause she took the pregnancy test, didn't she? - Yeah, but she did say I've done it twice, but then she didn't show him it. You know, normally that you have in a soap opera thing, you have that kind of crazy scene of, look at the book, what does the blue line mean? What do you think it means, darling? All that crap. We didn't have any of that, she just told him. And she told him when she was feeling very threatened. - And she didn't want, she's told the family, but she said, don't tell anybody else. - And she didn't want her to tell Henry either, but then that would be natural, even if she was pregnant. - Hmm. - Crumbs. - Yeah. - All right. - There's gonna be a hell of a, if she isn't, there's gonna be a very, very awful reckoning when she has to tell him that she's not. - All right. - Unless she invents a miscarriage or something, I don't know. - Oh. - Or unless he hits her and then she has a miscarriage. - Oh, crumbs. - I don't. - I don't want any physical violence. - I know, I know, I know, I know, yeah, I know. - Hello, dumb stomach, show Colbert here. Couple of things to speak about this week. I'm not gonna talk about Bob, though, though the thought of him in some horrible brown tweed suit, lording it from a horse is just, oh, God, he's horrible. Anyway, what I want to talk about was, first of all, the unbridled hand of capitalism that he's doing the grunge is in, basically. It's a bit of a kind of a metaphor for, you know, the economy really, isn't it? You've got the old economy of the grunge is, you know, knocking a few turkeys over the head and flogging them out the back of a car. And now you've got the fair brothers coming in and undercutting them, and it's all getting a bit ruthless and cutthroat. I think the grondies might pull back 'cause they're cunning, but I don't know, I don't know. On the second thing I want to talk about was, again, about the fair brothers. I'm getting to really like Rex. And it's surprising me. I thought I wasn't never like the fair brothers. As I've had before, I'm beginning to warm to a little bit, but Rex, especially. But I think we know where this is going, especially out of chat with Ruth. It was all kind of angling, so, oh, isn't he a nice lad? Old, hip, single. Hip will see that Toby's not worth it. She'll then look at Rex, and we'll all be buying new hats for the wedding. And poor old Toby will be just left up on the shelf, him alone with his undiagnosed chlamydia. So yes, so I think it's interesting, the way that certainly Rex's characters developed. The final thing I want to say is that I think script writers missed the trick. I think the script writers should have got Henry to say, step parental responsibility, just because in Henry's voice, that would be absolutely hilarious. Do find Henry's voice really great on me. And I feel really bad, 'cause, you know, I'm running down the kid here, really, and I'm taking the mic out of a child. First of all, you know, laughing at Nigel falling off the roof, now mocking a child. I'm just an evil person really on time. Just going to hell. Yes, Yoko Bear said he really, really wanted Henry to say, step parental... (laughing) I've tried, I was in the shower this morning, Yoko Bear, after I heard you're cool. And I was trying to say it, step parental, what, I can't remember what the word, but I giggled so much all the way through. I never got to the end of the phrase, but yes, it would be very funny. Yes, that's quite worrying as well. He's just going to have access to him in that way. And Yoko Bear hates Henry. I don't think you should feel bad about hating what is essentially a sound effect, Yoko Bear. (laughing) You probably hate Elvis the peacock as well. I wouldn't worry about it. And that's it, apart from I wanted to big up Joe Grundy, because I am, as you know, somewhat obsessed with class and the breakdown thereof. Eh? You're an inverted kind of class snob aren't you? Well, I don't know. Yeah, you are a full of self-loathing, but who you are and your social strata and, you know, and you're full of, you know, middle class privilege and it makes you uneasy and, you know, anyway, go, go, go. As you wear your calfkits and dresses and things like that. Certainly, not have you seen calfkits and dresses? Joe Grundy. It is the only person alive who is as obsessed with class difference as I am. And he said he was the only one who commented about Rob's swanning around in tweets. Who does he think he is? He's not entitled to do that, because he recognizes that Rob is an incomer and is nouveau and is trying to, he's trying to get that kind of feudal lord of the manner thing, which he's just not entitled to. And I think people in the country, particularly, are forgiving of privilege. They understand how it works, but there is a no-blesser bleach, there is a, you know, a feudal responsibility that comes with that, that Rob absolutely does not have. And so he's just, he's just, you know, he's just sort of passing off as the landed gentry. And Joe is not falling for it for a second, which made me go, "Hara!" and clap. Good old Joe. Right, now, good old Joe indeed, 93, don't you know. We have, well, it's been a bit of a long show, hasn't it, Lucy? So, quick coffee break for me, tea break for you. Oh, can I just say an old tea thing? Boy, did you spark a debate on the old paper face this week. (laughs) - I'm sorry, but I am getting some, Yorkshire tea ascending me some. - I know. - Yeah. - And who have you got to thank for that? - You. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you very much. - But it's not going to prevent you 'cause you were at my sodding, wherever they were, that-- - Cinnamon buns. - Yeah. - That came all the way from British Columbia. - I know. You were at my Canadian buns. (laughs) - Thank you. (laughs) - I thought you were bonder from Northamptonshire. (laughs) Anyway, quick break, back with a touch of Millie who talks much more about what tea everybody likes to drink. And we're gonna follow that with your hashtag, #TheArches to eat to the last seven dates. - Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dumpty Dum. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe, or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith Cloths are eco-friendly, reusable, and washable, and, you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer, proud sponsors of Dumpty Dum. (buzzer buzzes) - Fancy getting your mouth around something warm, something comforting, you can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a Dumpty Dum mug from the shop at www.dumdum.com? Those damn lovely! (buzzer buzzes) - It's Millie Bell here, and I was really interested to see when I was looking at the, many of the pages on Facebook, how Ruth and Jill has really polarized listeners. So we asked you what you thought. Sue Hopkinson said, "I think they've behaved really badly, Regill. "She should leave them to it. "No more nice Jill prepared meals." Actually, I agree, I don't think they're entirely grateful. Rachel Louise says, "For once Jill is being thoughtful, "as for Ruth, she's allowed to act like a twat for a bit. "Her mum died." Very enough. Rona Skein says that she doesn't think that Ruth is really, the actor who plays Ruth is really up to the nuances and ambiguities. Sorry, Liz Villalobos says, "I love them both. "I think Ruth revealed the source of her issues today "talking to Rex. "And Leslie Greaves said, "I think they should both make David suffer "as it's all his fault, the indecisive to it." I thought that was a little harsh myself. I also wanted to send out a start-up position to get Jasmine and Jim into the storyline more often. They were in the story this week and I just love their banter to completely different people. And we all know people like that, people who are so different, and yet when they get together, they are magic. And Sarah Wood's Rockwell reminded us all that Jasa, Jim, and also Lillian, yes, we need more Lillian. Mora Glonigan also agreed that it was a fabulous episode. Jim and Jasa just work. She says it strangely. And also, Royfield asked what your tea of choice would be following on from last week's show. And Chris Sunderland said, "Yep, Yorkshire tea all the way. "He's from Yorkshire, so what else would it be?" And Sam Paula said that she's from Harrogate, so it's the law to drink Yorkshire tea around here, I think. She's never been to Patex though. Diane Telford said, "Tea direct, fair trade, robust tea. "Doesn't taste cheap." Jacqueline Berthoe says, "I like Yorkshire tea, "but I prefer the PG tips. "I have to import it on UK trips to France." Doug Faunt also drinks PG tips. C. Rowan Jones, drinks pungana, Irish breakfast strong aromatic full of flavour. Andrew Horn said, "Rui boss." I don't know that one. Kevin Slashery, Barry's Tea, Weaning Island, and then Tetles. I'd just like to say, or Witherspoon, Pima Cosh, said that husband drinks PG tips on occasion I will as well. I'd just like to say that, living in Australia, I have a friend who has a plantation in Sri Lanka, and every year he goes across and he decides which tea leaves he wants picked to make his own tea, and then he gives us some, so I feel really privileged. But we also drink Dilma, which is from Sri Lanka, and we love Yorkshire tea, having lived in Leeds and also PG tips, so I think we get the best of everything. Quick talk about, there was obviously a meetup in Birmingham of people who are interested in the artist, and I think they got a studio showing, and I felt so jealous. That was all over Facebook on Saturday, and I felt so left out, entirely of my own making, because it's no reason why I couldn't have gone, if I'd saved up. And I'd just like to say that one day, guys, I will join you all, because I'd love to go and see the studio, and they all had had a, were buying special mugs that had the dumpty-dum singing the music written onto it. And I'd just like to say, for those of you that didn't manage to get one of those mugs, because I think they were limited, you could have one of our dumpty-dum mugs, which are really just as nice. So, from me, here in Australia, on this very stormy night, after two days over 30 degrees centigrade, I'd like to say goodbye, everyone. I'll see you next week, hoo-hoo! Thank you, Millie Bell, and it's good to have you back in the saddle, and looking at the book of face, Lucy. Yeah. The hashtag tweets of the last seven days that have the arches after the hashtag, please. I know, I have to think about what I said there as well. That's the whoa! Philip M. Hughes is quite a cross tweet after I loved it. Dear, hashtag the arches. By writing out Heather Pet, you have deprived me and others of a weekly game of Jordy Bingo. #fullhouse, no, full-hose. #fishyonadishy, #YI. Paul Salotti said, "Next week, Eddy has apoplexy "when he spots a fair brother's gnome, "fair brother brother's hand-made gnomes sign. "Poor Eddy. "Exeter's door mouse." This was when Phoebe was filling out her forms for her oxbridge. What does Phoebe, Moonchild, Ganger, Bottie? Bottie's that red-brown lentil-tucker think he's so ridiculous about her name on the arches form? Claire, with an eye, says, "Bitch, I'm comfortable "that David's comforting Ruth Voice "is the same as his soothing effort's voice." (laughing) I'm convinced of him slapping her on the rump again. Go on, girl, she goes out of the room. And Paul Salotti, again, which makes him a double record holder. - Oh! - In the annals, annals, oh dear, annals, of "Dumpty Dum" history. - I think with the amount, you know, the general kind of anal fixation with your jokes, it definitely is annals, and not annals, so. (laughing) (mumbling) - Yeah, you probably should do it twice as he says he's in twice. - Okay, Tim's it. (clearing throat) (mumbling) - Wow. - Paul Salotti, who said, "When Ruth was clearing out, "me more than us room. "David, what's wrong, love? "Ruth, sobs. "Your mother's fucking writing desk is back in here." (laughing) Now, do you know, we've had more mileage out of that writing desk than we did the flood. - Yeah. (laughing) (mumbling) Hey, Lucy. - What? - I think, right. This has probably been one of the most educational "Dumpty Dum"s ever. - Yeah. - Yeah, you know. - Global bees, wing on compost. - Yeah, I know. - Really water balance with alcohol. - Yeah. - I'm going to be doing all of that. - Drowning bees in debt or doesn't bring them back to life, you know, who knew? - Well, everybody, apart from you, your book. - Well, I was eight, come on. But if you want to comment on this week's wonderful podcast, why don't you go to www.dumptydum.com to join in third debate on the forum. And if you don't want to talk about gardening or dead bees or stollen or putting alcohol in watermelons, or you can join in on the forum, whether it's a great thread, which is entitled. - Will fatherhood change Rob? - I wouldn't have thought so. But you can-- - Is that sorted? - That's a short forum? - No. (laughing) - It's like when you go through the Saturday, they will, I'll slag off your rival, Jane. And when you go through the Saturday times and it says things like, "Will football spill the end of democracy?" No, are you just go through answering every time they ask questions? No, yes, no, no, really. Would you have nasal waxing? No, next, it's very easy. You go through the entire Sunday, Sunday times in about two and a half seconds. It's brilliant. - Guess what, Lucy? - What? - iTunes news. - Yay! - Remember-- - It's got the big news you were going on about. - Oh, God no. No, no, we've got bigger news than that. But remember, dear listener, when you waited with baited breath for the list of listeners who had written a review for the show on iTunes? - Well, we need your reviews like a flower needs sunshine. So please, for the love of all things only, which sounds slightly desperate. If you have not done so, please head over to iTunes and post a review. - Because I really have dried up and it's really good to get new listeners onto the show. The more reviews we have. Now, if you don't want to write a review but you want to help keep the show on the road, there are two ways that can be done. - One, you can go to patreon.com/duntydum and find us and support the show for $2. If you want to just donate, you can go to duntydum.com and hit the donate button on the site. - Which is number two. - Lucy. - Yes. - Is this the news? - This is the news. It's almost dumty dum get to get the time in London. Yes, next month we'll be hooking up. I mean, meeting in London one Saturday evening for dinner somewhere swish. Now, dates will be confirmed this week and actually because we record this on a Monday morning, dates will actually be confirmed in the afternoon. And we posted to all of the relevant dumty dum channels. So keep peeled. Now, it's going to be somewhere nice, but somewhere kind of pub-like because Lucy likes a good pub. - Yes, I don't want to have a posh meal. I just want to go and have a drink. But Royfield's making us. - But if you're going to get people to come from the four corners of the United Kingdom, right, you've got to give them an event to go to Lucy. You can't say come and meet us in a pub if they're coming from Bristol or Bodminmore or Butley or Bradford or Birmingham or Bridge North or Brighton. - Are you stuck on the B page of your atlas? You've got your AA road in that house. - I'm trying to think of somewhere that begins with B in Scotland and I couldn't think. - Neither do I. - Bridge end, these whales. - Yes, shop share. - Is it? - Yeah. - I thought Bridge end was actually in Wales. - I don't think so, but I don't know. You know what my geography is like. Anyway, if you've ever fancied going to Meruel, that's a small French village, that ambush is between Dwees. - Which is also the place that the script writers have completely forgotten all about. You can do so next year courtesy of Madame Berthou, who aren't Friday the 25th of March till Sunday evening is put in on a trip to Sanguine in Brittany. You can get to meet the mayor, have dinner, drink wine and cheese, play with baguettes, listen to the archers all for the brilliant price of approximately 105 quid. There's accommodation thrown into that and all sorts. Now, more details are to come in a future show and there will be a page on the website now. This is Jacqueline Berthou's thing. She's gone to loads of kind of detail organizing all of this. We are just kind of conduit somewhat for you for this, but it's a great thing which she's kind of put together and more details to come soon. But that will be Friday 25th of March 2016. Now, order of the Dumdee Diddlers news. It was Silver Girl. That's the name of the listener. Couldn't quite remember in the last episode. It was Silver Girl on the forum that suggested we change the name from Dumdee Dinfins. - And? - Kiwi listener on the forum posted "Dumdee Diddlers". Not as you said on the podcast, "Dumdee Diddlers", which I'm sure is something quite different. So, what do you reckon, Freeman? What should we do? I quite like Dumdee Diddlers, but does that mean Willy's or something? I don't know. So, you have the casting vote here. - No, I like Dumdee Diddlers. Let's go for that. - Okay, it's Dumdee Diddlers. So, Silver Girl and Kiwi listener. Remember to get in contact for thising sentence of voice message via Speakpipe on our website. We can call us an O2O30313105 to leave us a telephone type message. I'm social media and finance, but we are @DumdeeDum on the Twitter's. Or you can tweet me when I'm @Royfield. - Me @Lucie V. Freeman. - Or Sarah Smith. - @Sarah_Smith. - Or you can tweet me @Jane Perone. - Smashing. Hey, I'm going to start tweeting you now. - Please do. I love a good tweet session. - Did you like my really cleverly googled question to you about winter flowers? - I believe I've filmed I stick them. - Yes, I know, I thought, yeah, actually, I was start thinking, wow, I think he's made a really classy choice there. Or he's just googled the most particular type of name. - I think he just googled winter flowers. It was as simple as that. - Actually, we did have a question from one of your callerinerers, didn't we? Do I have an answer? - Oh. - No, I was a jaw one. It's a really nice plant, that. A billi of phillum, a billio. - Yes, I think so too. - Right, foresight here. - What's your favourite plant name? - We see, I'm a bit of a Latin name geek. So I do really like my Latin names. - Is that your inner gym coming out now? - I really like, yes, that's why I love gym. That's why I love gym. He's great. Ceratostigma plumbagenoidies is rather nice. It's actually a really nice plant. The annoying thing is oftentimes, I can't remember the common names of things and only the Latin names. So I am a bit of a gym, I have to say. - I do love a little bit of gym, not that I did Latin at Great Bar comp. - Oh, I found it. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. - You found it, oh good. Okay. - Go on, you can first then. - No, sorry, Roy, if you carry on. - No, no, no, all I was gonna say is that what I love about gym is, is it kind of connects with my love of history and obviously Roman history. So a lot of what he says and whatever, I can kind of track it down to the emperor that would have been raining or, you know, some kind of battle and whatever. But anyway, that's neither funny, comedic or particularly interesting. So you just crack on with whatever you were saying Lucy. - It was that, Auntie Jean wanted to know, when is best to plant out of say, Lix Kilmanock? - Well, as I said to Roy, this is a good time of year. Autumn is actually a really good time of year for planting. So I think it'll be fine to plant it now before it gets, so it's got a chance to establish. - I think Auntie Jean's it was. - Yes, yes, yes she. - Oh, I don't know where she is. She's got a Devon accent, whether or not she's actually-- - No, she's in Bristol. - Oh, Bristol, yeah. - West of country, yeah. - Yeah, I think she can plant it out and she'll be fine. It'll be absolutely fine. It's a pretty tough plant. Keep it well watered until established, as they always say. - How do you know when it's established? - Well, see that's what I love about doing these things because you come out with the Pat Phrases and then people go, "Yeah, but how do you know that?" And it's a really good question. How do you know that it's established? - I know it's well asked, it goes a good question. - Well, basically, I would say that you need it to be putting on some growth. So you're probably looking at about six months till next summer till it's, but it depends how wet it is. If it's soaking wet winter, then you won't need to bother. But if it's very dry, and especially if you get cold, drying winds, then you need to keep the soil moist. Or if the soil freezes, because then the plant can't access the water. So worth taking some care of it until it's sort of growing next summer. - Can I be honest with you? - Be honest, always. - I've got a couple of bug bears on radio for, you and yours, money box, God's question time. I just go off for God's sake, but you know what? I'm gonna give it a whirl now. - Well, can I make a recommendation? Can I plug my own-- - I meant you and yours. - Polish, can I polish my own little-- - Go on. - You rag a panther, sweetheart, mate. - Okay, so go repeat the final episode, where we do our own version of a sort of a question time format, except do it with a comedian, a philosopher, and a garden expert. So like you, for every question, like somebody won't ask a question about slugs and potatoes. So you get kind of the philosophers sort of coming at it from a philosophical angle, and you get the comedian coming out with some gags. It's just, it's fun. If you don't like gardeners question time, you might like that. - Where's the diversity on that panel? - What do you mean by diversity? - Where was the black bromi? (both laughing) - Every podcast I have on. - You're having you on the show. - Oh, back at you, Roy. (both laughing) - Well, I hope I've made you laugh anyway. So definitely bloody informed, that was awesome. - Everybody needs a compost heap, really. Bette Midler once said something about compost heaps, which I've now forgotten it. Oh God, there's a really good Bette Midler crow about compost heaps. I can't remember it now. But it's a microcosm of life, and it makes us aware of death and rejuvenation, and it's a wonderful thing. - I thought you said you were the gardener, not the philosopher on your podcast. - Well, on that episode, I was merely the presenter. I didn't even hold forth in the film. - What do you mean, merely? - This is it, I found it. It was quoted by you, Jane. My whole life has been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God's presence, the kind of transcendent magical experience that lets you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first compost heap. - Yes, that's what Bette Midler said. I've never thought I'd ever googled the phrase, Bette Midler compost heap. (laughing) - On that note, I shall leave you guys and thank you myself for milky coffee. - Thank you very much, Jane. - Pleasure. I hope it's too hard to edit. - No, no, no. You listened to Bette, we'll start. - We'll call it pruning this week. We're not editing. - Hey, like that. (buzzing) I've just worn you. I've got a slightly dicky tum this morning. - Oh my God. - Which isn't ideal at any time that I'm first thing in the Monday morning. All right. - Are you eating something dodgy? - Well, you know what? We went out to a rather nice swanky dinner last night. It was a friend of mine's birthday and we went to the ivy in Chelsea and the food seemed rather lovely, but I don't know, I've woken up this morning with feeling rather delicate, so. - You didn't eat a hollandaise, did you? That was my downfall once, eating a hollandaise sauce, which. - It's a burn-aise sauce, actually. - Oh, okay. All right, and there's lots of horrible stories in that book by that chef, Anthony Bourdain, about what restaurants do with leftover butter. - Yeah, it's good. - But it's butter dishes, it's horrible. Doesn't make you want to go to a restaurant ever again, but I'm sure you are. I mean, surely you couldn't have got it overnight from the ivy, could you? - You wouldn't have thought so, but. - It's normally six hours after you've eaten, whatever it is, that it kicks in. That's kind of the transit period. (grunting) - If there's blame, there's a claim, Royce. (laughing) - I think I eat immediately. Get a stool sample. (laughing) - Well, though, in your current condition, you might need some sort of ice cream tub, or. (laughing) - A bottle. (laughing) - Oh, god. - This is spraying on me, on me flower bed, or somewhere, another. - Don't start on the tomatoes and sewage line already. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - No, well, you know, I mean, well, no. In summary, no, don't do that. Please, God, don't do that. - Was it, what? - You can waste. You just need to be very careful with your human waste, really. You can wee on your compost heap. - Well, that accelerates it, doesn't it? - Yeah, yeah, I mean, you can wee as a fertilizer if you dilute it with water, but yeah. - Jane, I'm gonna have to stop, this is all gold. We need to be putting this in the show. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, you got it. (laughing) - Joe Graham-- - If you haven't started a Monday morning with a stool sample, then really, you're weeks on a-- - I'm sorry, this can go with me. It's stool samples all the way. - Fantastic. It's gonna be a shit show. (laughing) - Just for a change, then. (laughing) - Oh, right, I'm ready, I'm ready. I think we peaked, to be honest. - Meets? - Oh, where are we gonna go from here?
“Don’t cry for me” said the plants as Jane Perrone the horticultural editor of the Guardian joined our hosts this week; so it is a highly organic and very educational podcast with mentions of the restorative powers of dettol and sugar solutions, mince pies (team Roifield on this one), stollen, urine and compost heaps.
Roifield has decking in his back garden whilst Lucy admitted to a very large bush. Jane advises that there may be rats living under the decking so removing it needs the attention of her lurcher. Jane reckons The Archers team generally get gardening matters right; she has been listening for the last 15 years and it is now her little daily treat and then she mentioned many other podcasts.
Jane predicts that the Titchenor story will explode at Christmas and she supports the existence of some villainy in the village but she does feel that having a baby is often not well portrayed on the programme. There seems to be some circumstantial evidence that Helen may not actually be pregnant – even though she has done two tests. The doctor did not do a test.
There is a groundswell growing for Rex, although less so for Toby, but it does seem they may be around for the long term and the cooperation between the Grundy boys was noted. Everyone was hugely pleased to hear Jazzer back, especially in his double act with Jim. Lucy highlighted Joe’s comments on Rob’s faux behaviour as a member of the landed gentry as she and Joe are as one in their recognition of class differences.
Millie Belle had a full update of online activities with a lot of positive comments about developments including Jim and Jazzer whilst Yorkshire Tea was discussed at length. Millie herself gets deliveries of tea direct from Sri Lanka – another place that I have enjoyed visiting.
The writing desk turned up again in the Tweet of the Week.
Bridgend is in Shropshire says Lucy (more often found in mid-Glamorgan) whilst Blairgowrie is in Scotland to give a “B” place, north of the Border.
Kosmo
On this week’s episode we have calls from:
Paul Roome who’s got his calendar out
Witherspoon who gets Jazzer in the psychiatrist’s chair
Goddess Deeva who has a wish for Helen
and Yokelbear who’s worried about the unbridled hand of capitalism.
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