DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'
Dum Tee Dum Episode 74 – Kat Brown and Cat Brown
Parakeets rule – listen to DTD for an explanation! Lucy and Roifield are joined by Kat Brown of the Telegraph and her cat. Their discussions gave proper consideration to the ill treatment accorded to the Lilian / Matt relationship which was peremptorily ended rather than handled with a decently treated story. This chat also brought to mind that perhaps Paul was a proto-Rob creation (similarly Jean Harvey was a proto-Lynda Snell). I can clarify that Jamie is apprenticed to Isaac on the Berrow Estate, not Mike Tucker (which is odd because Ed is having to trim the estate hedges in lieu of rent on his land). Attention briefly turned to Marvel super heroes on which Kat is also an expert. Kat did not mention her new boots but did consider the entire podcast worthy of a Bafta.
Calls covered sounds – Rob’s unpleasant chuckle, the pigeons, the lack of a boiling kettle; the lack of a housing crisis; plus Rob and Helen of course. Roifield has heard mention of Jamie’s share of the Bull which Kosmo missed completely. Probably drowned out by the sound effects.
Millie Belle had technical problems so is missing but on the website forum Goddess Deeva keeps creating new ways for Rob to die.
Kosmo
On this week’s show we have calls from:
Paul Roome who is annoyed by Rob’s mansplaining
Mrs Baigent who’s drifting off
Lady Garf Garf who’s worried about Henry
Mary Not Contrary who thinks Johnnie’s getting too close
Aunty Jean who’s cross with Pat
Witherspoon and Angus Haggis who’s whining
Goddess Deeva who’s had her credulity stretched
Yokelbear who’s annoying Dylan Nells
The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 74 – Kat Brown and Cat Brown appeared first on DumTeeDum.
- Duration:
- 1h 45m
- Broadcast on:
- 08 Sep 2015
- Audio Format:
- other
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This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. All right. Yerano. Hello. I'm Sarah Smith. Proud sponsor of Dum T Dum. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe, or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith cloths are eco-friendly, usable and washable. And, you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posh-er washer. Proud sponsors of Dum T Dum. Hello, everybody at Dum T Dum. This is Allison tweeting his cheers. I'm sponsoring this the second of my two sponsored podcast. In eight of the half-marathon I ran yesterday, I did it and oh my god, guys, my flags. I got home and I thought, you know, and I'm just going to sleep for six or seven hours and get up and have dinner and sleep some more. It went well. It went really well. It was a big run. There were a lot of people. I think maybe 1,200 runners took part. And it was very British in the sense that you got to the end and then you got, you finished your half-marathon and you got a medal and you got a free t-shirt and you got a free can of beer. Free can of London pride to drink at 11.30 in the morning on an episode. So that was very English. I had a great time. I really enjoyed it. And now my feelings are split between, oh my god, I can't believe I did that to myself and when can I do it again? (laughs) I have had such a wonderful response from the Dunty Dum community and I want to thank, in particular, the following people who have donated already. Anonymous, fellow Dunty dumber, Candida Beeching, Auntie Jean, Jennifer Shanks, and Kat Brown, who all phoned in or donated to me at my fundraising page and their donations in total, plus gift aid, have raised over 100 pounds already. And that's just six of you. That's terrific. So thank you so much for that. I passed my fundraising goal, but we're still taking donations. If any of you feel like you forgot about giving last week and now maybe you want to give again, please do. You can do this by going to my fundraising page, which is at uk.virginmoneygiving.com/seagantollar, which is spelled S-I-E-G-E-N-T-H-A-L-E-R. Or you can pop me a DM on Twitter, which is Chias. And we can set up an alternative method of giving, if you wish. So thank you so much for all your support, people have said really nice things. And yeah, keep donating. I'm going to keep running. And thank you very much for all your subscribers. Chias out. This is Dum Dood on the show about the reality ducky drama that is sent on Ambridge in the Heart of the Midlands. I'm the minimalist farm shop that is Roy Bill Brown, and we've been able to rust it rec. That is Lucy Freeman. And with us this week, we have Archers Fan and Telegraph journalist. It's Cat Brown. Hello. And the last part of our bridge farm organics is you. Now, today's Dum Dood on comes to you. Curtsy of a parakeet that has got internet fame. If I had one person I had, maybe six tell me the Dum Dood on the week. Here it is. Here's the link. Yes. Please stop sending the literally fucking parakeet. I think I sent it to you a good four times tonight. I've got a bit over exciting. But to be fair, his parakeet did have a wonderful talent. It knows how to whistle to the theme tune of the archers. Clever birdie. Can I, sorry, I know I'm going off immediately. But one of my favorite stories, and it's true, is a friend of mine adopted a rescue parakeet that had been, the owners had split up. And none of them wanted this damn parrot. So she ended up with it. But they'd had a very, very acrimonious divorce. And every time the door banged, the parrot went, "Is that you, Brian? Are you going out again?" And used to say these really sad, no. It used to say these really, it was sort of, the sounds were like cues for it to make its noise. And it would say, "Is that you, Brian? Are you going out again? Are you seeing her, Brian?" And things like this. And she had to teach it some more cheerful phrases, because she said it was so depressing, this thing sitting in the corner, like it relates to cancer. "I'm so miserable, Brian. Why don't you talk to me, Brian?" Anyway, sorry, carry on. Right. If there are any other owners of parakeets, and you want to teach your parakeet how to sing along to the theme tune of "Dumb to Dumb." Why don't you send that in? Or, Lucy, you could remind our listeners, if they don't have a parakeet, and they want to win the accolade of "Dumb to Dumb" of the week, how to do that. So why don't you tell us how our listeners can do that if they don't have a parakeet, Lucy? Yes, if you, or any of your pets, would like to sing us a "Dumb to Dumb." Thanks, Royfield. Give us a thought to us. You'll shut your face. You must have plot prediction or bail out your brother-in-law. Ring us on 0203031-3105, or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thanks to lovely shampages for her amazing voices, to Cosmo, for his podcast round-ups, and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. And to Derek for the load in the back bedroom, Derek has cheered up. He was a bit fed up earlier. He'd seen a picture of Milena. She was out. It was on Facebook. Her companion was 6'2", massive muscles flowing beard, but it turned out to be her best friend, Ursula, from the Russian shot-put team. You know, you're living in the past, Lucy. I know, that was very too wrong. Too wrong, he's, wasn't it? It was very kind of pre-kind of Boris Yeltsin. Like, we still live in, you know, the world, incredibly pre-puting, and the Soviet Union was still in place. Have you seen the women's shot-put team, Royph, in Russia? But all those Russian athletes all look kind of like, blonde and Amazonian, just like- Would you like me to send you a picture? Okay, are they still giving them steroids for breakfast? Yes, they are, yes. Oh, okay, all right. They're bench-pressing longbows on the pictures. For reference purposes, purely. Yes. Right. Now, on the show this week, you have calls from Paul Roome. Oh, I love me a bit of Paul Roome. Paul Roome, who's annoyed by Rob's man-splaining. Mrs. Bajant, who's drifting up. Lady Garth Garth, who's worried about Henry. Mary Nutcantrari, who thinks that John is getting a little too close. Oh, lovely, some hearty jean too. Yes. You know what, loose. We've got all the lovely ones back, haven't we? I know, don't say that. That means all the ones that didn't ring in. We don't think they're lovely ones. We do think you're lovely ones. Now, but you know what that means is great. Have you noticed, by the way? It's going to be fed up of her. Have you noticed? As soon as I incorporate people into Lucy's Band of Mary Men or whatever they're called. We've only got one. They never ring in again. That man that I said had a lovely voice disappeared. Someone else rang in, I said, "Oh, he sounds interesting." Phew, gone. Honestly, I'm the kiss of death. Yeah, he's just a bit too full on Lucy. I am, aren't I? That's what it is. That's what it is. Well, I don't mind you recruiting them into their, you know, into your little band of lovely girls. And I try the same thing. I'm knocking on a locked door, aren't I? There you go. Cat. Yes. Why do you think I can retain my fans and followers in Lucy's band? Does the hit hit her with some home truce? I had absolutely no idea that Lucy was in any danger of losing her fans. I mean, you can't see this because obviously we haven't got our webcams up. I'm sitting here in a Lucy V Freeman placard zone by my noise maker, which just goes, not perfectly, it's a much better approximation of Lucy's laugh. I'm surrounded by the tea tales that I have knitted, especially with Lucy's thype avatar on them. So as long as I live, we will all believe in Lucy V Freeman and not be it. I like, I like it. Can she come back? Podcast. Good God. This is going to be a very torturous and long boring interface. It's going to be a loving between you. So you're wearing your Lucy V Freeman tabard. Oh, yes. And the best paisley. The chartreurs and magenta for that perfect goes really well with the red head colour. Right. Well, you know what? It's my job to keep this show on track. And we're just going to keep it strictly speaking to the archers. Okay. No Lucy Freeman loving chat. No marble chat. Oh gosh, no. Absolutely. We will have the art bill. Listen, Lucy, stop it. Mary, not contrary, who thinks that Johnny is getting too close. Auntie G, I've done that. With a spoon. There you go. I'll go on to with a spoon. With a spoon and Angus Haggis, who's whining. Goddess, diva, who's had her credulity stretch. Yoko Beth, who's annoyed Dylan Nells, but first before all that. Let's hear about Lucy V Freeman. I can't keep a man and her week in ambridge. This week in ambridge was brought to you by the phrase ambridge without the blank. It's unthinkable. We've had ambridge without the bull, the green, the shop, the fate, the village hall, all of them unthinkable. It is now written into the archer's code of conduct that this phrase must appear once a week. As the entire village seems to be dead set on imploding at the moment, they'll be reduced to saying things like ambridge without that telegraph pole. It's unthinkable. Lindy Bottom went to the opera and talked all the way through it. Then had the cheek to Mona Eddy for leaving his phone on. And not only that, but to include it in her review that she attributed to Dylan's knot. This mortified poor clary love. Well serves the working classes right for thinking they could understand or enjoy opera. In other nose news, Auntie Cardboard threatened to rammer doesn't Aaron Cheeney up Jimus' nose if he corrected her Italian again. He was being unbearably pompous and I admired Cardboard's restraint. Can this please be the end of this Italian bolognese? Heather Petts got drips in the attic. I'm not sure if that's you from his own facility. Water on the brain. All you need is a tap on the head. Bum bum. Who, in their right mind, drops wine off first to breathe. You either bring it yourself or decant it as soon as you arrive, don't you? Shula calls her jolene. Linda calls her jolene. And Kenton calls her jolene. Whatever she's called, finally fast up to the boomerang archers assembled in the kitchen like the Borges to create a feast that would shake ambridge to its core. That the ball had hit the skids more dramatically than you saying bolt being bold over by a cameraman on the segue. And good old David with the well-meaning idiocy that got him in this mess in the first place is the very person to counter to Kenton's rescue like Sogala had on a heifer, waving a cheque and a patronising smile. Never one to avoid mixing a metaphor, Susan pulled no punches, kicked up a fuss and called hazel and morally bankrupt vulture with a scratch card, which will utterly baffle anyone reading her letters of the Borges to reco. The flower and produce show is going to struggle, what with most of the village being underwater for six months. There are going to be many entries in the rice category though. Elizabeth wandered the grounds of Lower Locksley inspecting the litter, all she found for the tub of Waitrose guacamole in a book called How to Speak Italian Like What They Do Belonging to Lindy Bottom. In other news, my hearing is going. I distinctly heard Elizabeth say to Shuler, "I suppose you have to shit off now." It turned out to be shoot off, I presume, but I thought her refreshing it was that Elizabeth had resisted the temptation thus far to tell Shuler to shit off. I also clearly missed the point where Rob was offered the role of farm shop renovation project manager. The plans for the clinically sterile farm shop have arrived, pitchy knob persuaded Helen that when she said, "No, I like the rural style," actually meant, "No, I agree with you," Rob. Pip has decided to salvage her conscience at boomeranging back to Brookers by becoming farmer of the year. "Build a road? No problem. I'll do that before breakfast on Tuesday. I'll hire a roller. In fact, I'll just headbutt the rocks into gravel. Shouldn't be easy enough, Dad?" Adam held the farewell do for the pickers. Adam described one of them as a reliable hand. "David extended the hand of friendship to Kenton and Jolene by offering them £26,000 in used notes with which to prop up the foundations of the bull." Kenton inevitably took the hand of friendship, gave it a Chinese burn and bent David's fingers back, shouting in a mature way, shove it up your bottom fathead. Brian has cunningly avoided investing in Kate's yoga centre. In a pleasing synchronicity, Kate, known throughout Borsetture as the Herbal-Lay, will be getting the money for her crackpot scheme from the Herbal-Lay itself, in a move that is guaranteed to have Adam frothing with impotent rage once again. And we ended with, "Oh Kenton!" by Jolene. "I can't take the money," he said. "It's humiliating." Much less humiliating to go publicly bankrupt and descend into alcoholism. Still, the main thing is, Mummy loves you best. The end. That's much better than last week Lucy. Thank you. I'm really tightening things up this week. Yeah, well I don't like to let you down Roy. I think you really raised your game because you have a special guest with us. I did, especially, she's a superhero isn't she, in training. No, she's a journalist from the Telegraph, who looks somewhat like one of my favourite heroines, Jean Grey. And she's really into the X-Men. Introduce yourself, Kat, who are you? Hello, I'm Kat Brown and I am actually sitting at home in my bedroom with the fourth member of the podcast this week, who is also Kat Brown, but is actually a cat called Ambridge. And hopefully she's going to behave herself, but unfortunately, I think it's highly unlikely, because she loads Pip, more than anybody that I've ever met. Do some Pip Chat this week. Just before I zone out and you have your love in with Lucy, can you please explain to me how you know that your muggy hates Pip? I think it's probably because she tends to listen, I listen to the podcast rather than live, and it tends to be just before I'm going to bed, and the cat tends to have decided that the bed is the best place to sleep, and so I tend to involuntarily scream every single time. And at which point the cat's eyes flash dangerously, which I have taken to assume that she is planning to go off and commit some docu-drama murders. So is Pip your nemesis, Pip's your least favourite character? Well, I think that's sort of on a rolling rotation, as the Fitz all arches listeners really. Who else is on your list then? Well, Kathy, mercifully, we haven't heard of, but she was pretty much an equal number one with Helen for absolutely years, just so irritating, but it's been Charlie Thomas for absolutely ages. I think he's just such a weird character. I think his relationship with Adam is just so bizarrely unbelievable, because it's almost as though everybody's forgot that Charlie was just such an awful, passive-aggressive, evil person, really, for so long, and treating Adam so badly. So the idea that they're like besties who go after the pub for lunch and exchange soulful glances is absolutely rubbish. I mean, if they just had a shag and got it over with, fair enough, but not this. He's got very bad manners, and he speaks in this weird, robotic, unreal manner, and he seems to expect everybody to just get on with it. I was disappointed that he didn't sort of break out his robotic guns and kill Rob during that exchange when Rob threw his toys out of the pram and his job as well. But that's why he's talking about, you know, my enemy's enemy is my friend kind of thing. It's because people loathe... Charlie's actually coming like rare and refreshing fruit after Rob, isn't he? Because he's the only one that actually has stuck to his guns and has loathe Rob from beginning to end and hasn't been taken in by him. Everyone's kind of thought thinking, "Oh, Charlie's not too bad actually." I always have a soft spot for old Charlie. Yes, exactly. Well, I think we were so desperate to have somebody who can see Rob for the amazing and brilliantly performed by him for the years. I mean, he's absolutely splendidly active. But I mean, one of the reasons I don't have a soft spot for Rob, and I would quite happily push him off a cliff if I could, but I do like the fact that he has a really clear, identifiable voice. I think I know this is a theme that has been running through the podcast and through the hashtags for absolutely, you know, months now. But God, I'm just so bored of people being hired. You have no distinctive voice whatsoever. All the boys sounding the same. The girls and the new girls are not really having maybe the most distinctive tones, but it is a little bit mid-witch cookies. Rob and all his dastardliness is a very welcome break there. How long have you been listening? When did you first start? My dad is a very keen listener, except he's a devoted listener to the on the best edition, so really whenever I go and see him, I'm like, "Oh my God, dad, what's been going on this week?" And he's like, "No, I am weak." So I sort of listened to it a bit in the car when I was a teenager, but I really got into it when I was doing my university finals and just having a series of obligatory university finals related meltdowns. And it was 2004, and it was, I started listening during the sort of burgeoning swell of Brian and Chavon's affair. The most fantastic time to start listening, all of the entry behind the scenes, and then just all of the fallout is everybody found out about it. And then of course, and then Chavon became ill, and then Rooroorooroorree ended up being adopted by Jenny Darling, which is still implausible and delightful. But that was a fantastic time to crack on. It is. Chavon was a very interesting cat, because she was not a nice woman. She was not a bakie, cakey, worry about the family type woman. She was. I think that's a bit harsh to say she wasn't nice, but she had a very clear agenda, and she was kind of much more rounded than your typical home county's cakey bakie woman. Well, I mean nice in that average way, nice in the way that she was nice and you know, just respectable. Oh, oh, she was not nice. No, but I mean respectables. But yes, the ridiculous trope of the nice woman and having to behave, it was just, I think even though I'd only just started listening to the arches, it was pretty clear that I didn't really like Chavon at all, but I found it absolutely fascinating. And by extent, she made Brian, who, you know, I love, I love dearly because he's Brian, and he's brilliantly written and very set in his ways, and they know exactly what the character does and how he reacts. But he's not, he's not a thrilling chap, and his association with Chavon just made it all the more exciting. Remind me who Ushavon's best pal was. It wasn't Ushav, was it? Oh, was it Lizzie? Lizzie, because they fell out. Yeah, because then Jenny Darling didn't really want to be friends with Elizabeth after that. So you've got a bit frosty as these things do. Now, I miss Chavon, I think we need, because there was sort of Lillian has got a little bit of that, but ultimately, she is, you know, a good sort. We want a few women who are not good sorts, but then we've got, you know, Pantomime Dame Hazel Willy, Pantomime Badty Hazel Willy, who's, you know, just an easel sort, which is just, she's not a sort really, she's just a... I mean, I always, I always love when, when Hazel's around, because she is, I can sense that the script writers are having an absolute field day writing her. Yeah. Just that all wonderful standoff between her and Peggy about that dreadful headstone that she wanted to do. It was just marvelous. But also, I'm really enjoying Kate, who used to be on a par with, with Kathy for just sheer nails down a chalkboard cringe whenever she'd appear. But again, whoever's, whoever's been writing the scripts for her recently has obviously been having a lovely time because she's so ridiculous, but also just clearly taking such joy in, in being herself with her, with her assorted weird ceremonies and faffing around. I think the only weird thing with Kate is that her children in South Africa are just almost never referenced, and I, I just find that very, very weird. I wish they'd hurry up and do something different with Brian now, because all he ever says is, "What's for lunch, Jenny?" And she says something in the fridge and he goes, "Huh!" And that's it. It's sort of, apart from him having random goes at Adam about, you know, the herbal lay and everything, he hasn't got any, he was always good for a bit of intrigue, you know, either it was bought just a land or, you know, other women or something, and now he's this this man old man stomping around looking for Cornish pasties under sofa cushions. He's just kind of, you know, he's lost his, he had a bit of pizzazz Brian, but it seems to have gone a bit recently. What's, is this focus on, on the, on the brothers as well, who are just so amazingly anodyne? Yeah. And, and so on, on Pip and, and the focus on the archers, I couldn't, I actually nearly cried when Pip made the inevitable decision. He was not reasonable. I was just like, "No, my, God, selling Brookfield again." They just cannot, they cannot do this to us. This endless setting up of, "Oh, my God, it's going to happen. Something's going to happen." And of course, it's not the archers. I mean, nothing. And I feel jolly silly, jolly silly, jolly sad for poor old David, who's just got ever more boring and ever more impatient and ever more, "Oh, God, martyred. Look, I'm just wheeling this cross around with me at all times, but you know, I've got to go and do something with cows and just general Brookfield. We need a break from Brookfield. I don't care about the concentrating on the archers, pick better ones to concentrate on for a bit." I want to know what the hell's happening with Jamie and Kathy Perks. I mean, what is, because Jamie's apprentice to, wasn't he apprentice to, but no, who was he apprentice to? He was, it's up trees, isn't he? Yeah, but wasn't he apprentice to Mike? Well, that's a good point. Oh, nobody's finished that at all. I mean, that'll make the commute a bit difficult. Maybe it goes to Birmingham and chops down telegraph poles or something, practices. That's really odd. I'd say the tell you what, you'd have a lot of work in Brump cutting down trees, more trees in any other city in Western Europe, Birmingham. You bet they probably don't want them chopped down, do they? They'd probably like to hang on to them where at all possible. You'd probably achieve that title by keeping tree surgeons firmly away from their overruns. Very true. I'll tell you what, I'll continue to butt out of this conversation, ladies as you were. I mean, it's, there are so many lovely characters over the years who have just sort of, you know, disappeared off and I understand that there's this strategy to, you know, bring it all back to the archers. I think what needs to be appreciated is that the archers are not always terribly interesting. And it says something that, you know, that can be an amazing family summit, you know, spearheaded inadvertently by Jolene to sort of, to, to give Kenton and Jolene this money and, and for it, just to actually be a bit boring, boring. And it's just like, just Lizzy and, and Schuller going, well, I can probably give 4,000 pounds. What about you, Schuller, or something? I don't know. I've got so many horses that I need to be, I've got so many things I need to get ready for Dan when he comes back, including this little effigy that I've made of Dan, which I'm here from to make human. Yeah, it's just tedious and, and poor old Lillian as well, who I don't think has ever recovered from that storyline with her with Paul, with Lillian, stopping Lillian and just turned into somebody else entirely. Do you remember that weird passive aggressive section during the, the Paul and Lillian thing when he weren't quite sure where the Paul was going to turn out to be a serious wronging? I think, I think that was a practice for Rob. I think whoever wrote that, kind of quite enjoyed writing that ambivalent character. And, and then said, could we have another one like that? And they kind of let him loose or her loose then on them on Rob? Because they were, they were great huge similarities. Yeah, my, my absolute favourite thing about Rob actually is how the plarches portray them, love, love just so much. And they just, they just get an absolutely spot on every time. Rob with his, I didn't even know that Playbabill had a vampire. The last thing with it in about 1986 and I imagine things have moved on somewhat. I just loved it. When she came on the podcast, she was so funny, we sort of saying, well, I can't, as people will know, we kind of have two choices, arms up in the air in outrage or surprise or down by their sides. Quite happy, really. That's it. They're the two choices. And Rob's always got his cloak flaring and his arms up in the air. Smashing. I'm devastated, actually. As soon as I, as soon as I first encountered the joys of the plarches, I dropped, I dropped them a line. I was just like, I would really like to speak to you for the telegraph, please. And I think they went, no, no mainstream, no awful telegraph thing. Whereas really, I'm an archer's fan and I'd really like to speak to you about this. But to be honest, it's been so delightful just just watching the, watching the scenes pan out every week. It's just brilliant. I think what they're doing is absolutely incredible. They're simply lovely things that have spun up around the archers, particularly on, on Twitter and on Facebook. And obviously, dumpty-dum is just the best of all. Yeah, exactly. We're the roles Royce of Archers Bandum, aren't we? We got, we got our first nice review, didn't we, from telegraph? Lucy, you didn't let her answer. Sorry. Oh God, was there a question that I've tangented away from? No, Lucy, Lucy jumped in. You're supposed to like, bigger suck then. Yes. Oh, no. She said we were the best. What more do you want? Yeah, more of the same. I should have read a website friendly quote, shouldn't I? I should say the, like the, dumb to dumb. It's almost as good as the plarches. How about that? Yeah. Pretty unbeaten as far as Archers Band podcasts go. How does Ambridge fit into your real life? You were able to talk about the world of Borsetcher in your columns. Yes, I mean, I wish, I wish that the telegraph really had a dedicated Archers column as, obviously, the Guardian has lovely, lovely, brilliant Nancy Fanksmith who's just absolutely must read every month. Jillian and Elara Radio Columns focuses in quite hard, which is really good. And then I've written pieces around anything that sort of popped up like the sheer ludicrousness of Will Grundy being Ed's best man, which I had to take to my bed for quite some time to recover from. And of course, The Flood, which was wonderfully done. There's actually been so much great writing, particularly over the last couple of years. There's also been some absolutely frankly baffling character decisions, which sort of can rather overwhelm them. But I thought The Flood, for example, was just so brilliantly done, really sensitive. I'm just quite sad that they didn't, you know, Biff Charlie a bit harder over the head. And I'm also quite sad again that Rob had to end up being some kind of hero. Just like, he's, I think Rob is inherently a coward. And I wish we'd saw a bit more of that, you know, just him running away and perhaps leaving somebody in the boat for Christine. Well, but... Well, he would have done, wouldn't he? Had he not had a boat full of people behind him, shouting, "Get Christine! Get Christine!" he kind of had to. He couldn't really say, "No, sod off!" and row away fast in the opposite direction. Oh, he was so unimpressed with Christine. No, it wasn't he. Well, he was shouting at that, wasn't he? Get in the boat! But anyone's somewhat not impressed by Christine, aren't they? I mean, everyone, i.e. the listeners. I don't understand the point of her. She is the physical embodiment of the colour beige, Christine, isn't she? And when she was so, you know, arming and arguing about moving house and everything, it's just, Christine used to be, used to be quite fun. I mean, she was never as fun or as formidable as Julia, obviously, Julia, Julia of Nigeria. Yes, grateful. But she was, she was a bit of fun for Jim and they had a nice time doing the crossword together. Whereas now, whenever they have a scene or particularly talking about the Italian, it's almost as though, you know, Christine's a nervous horse who requires extra suite of colleagues to sort of put her in the right direction. Come over here to Italian, Christine, don't be frightened. And it's, oh, just, I don't. Don't rush up behind Christine, she'll kick it. She'll kick you, she'll kick you. She lashes out. I mean, I suppose, you know, it's an interesting way of treating the aftermath of the flood and everything. But, you know, Christine was a pretty redemptable character beforehand, and it just sort of feels as though any shred of that iron centre has just sort of melted away into a pool of, you know, yes. So who, who are your favourite characters? Because you, like, you've dissed everybody, but who'd you actually like? Well, I think I love, I love to diss my favourites. I've actually, from this, sadly, now defunct Twitter account called Earca Fercher, where they used to illustrate tweets. And I've got an illustration of a tweet that I sent out in a rage when Helen was giving birth to Horrible Henry. And during that period, and that is one of my absolute treasures, because hating Helen, or at least thinking that she's an incomprehensible weirdo, is one of my greatest joys. But Lillian, of course, Lillian is absolutely my favourite, because she is the closest to somebody that I recognise of all of Ambridge. And she, she always, there's no nonsense about her, except when she's, you know, given a slightly strange storyline. She's always there for gin, she's always there for love, she's always there to celebrate or, or, or commiserate, or just to, just to be there for her friends. I think she's a good friend. She's really super relative. And, oh, the, the ending of the, the matte, the matte storyline was just enraging for her and, and, and for us, and for me as a Lillian fan, that was sending him off to Costa Rica. Yeah, okay, jog on. Considering that they've managed to send, you know, Debbie off to Hungary quite well, they could quite happily have just left Matt as a silent character, although he was wonderful and I loved their relationship together. I think you can't, when someone, when, when someone's got that strong, a narrative voice, you can't leave them as a silent character. Because it's too irritating for people. Because it's just, I don't want to hear, hear say, I want to hear him saying it, you know. But then is that, is that more or less irritating than just having, oh no, all my stuff has disappeared and here's, and, and, and, and, considering how central that relationship had been, you know, whether you like it or not, let's say, to ambridge extra and to ambridge, they needed, they needed to more of a fallout in terms of not just the, all my stuff has gone, but it should have played out longer. It should have played out longer and Lillian should have been much more obviously devastated. Yes, she's had a little bit of Botox and et cetera, but considering all this Helen and Rob stuff that, that we've actually had, they should have, you know, Lillian should have gone into an absolute freefall. Yeah, an absolute freefall. And I think the Matt and Lillian relationship was so crucial to ambridge because it was a different sort of relationship. Yes, exactly. Two people who were completely independent, who weren't, you know, like, nice people, who certainly weren't golden people, but you, you know, and also late in life had sort of found each other. Yeah, absolutely. And it was just, you know, rather than just sort of having these chased crosswording relationships like Christine and Jim or, or having to go and get married, like, like, Jolene and Kenton, then then immediately, you know, backfiring and Kenton having an absolute nurbo. There was such a great example of a mature, interesting, unrepresented relationship rather than just, oh, gosh, we're just going to go around being married and making Chutney or talking about sheep. And that's a real shame and ambridge is very much the poorer for it. But at least we've still got Lillian. Yeah. Please let Lillian leave. I don't know what anybody would do. Well, please let her just carry on being Lillian and not have some kind of character epiphany where she abruptly changes into, you know, that woman who presents songs of praise or something, you know, you just want, we want Lillian to stay Lillian, to stay Ginny, to stay cackling, to stay smoking, to stay making unwise choices that, you know, the kind of ones that we can all go off at God's sake, but no perfectly well, that's exactly what we would have done. And somebody who appreciates Shades of Grey and not in the dreadful book sense. You can see all sides of the story and who has had enough life experience. Yeah. Interesting things. I mean, again, one of the, one of the things I love most about Lillian is her complete blind spot when it comes to that dreadful James. I remember when James was trying to persuade her to invest in a development in, what did he call it? It was like, he called it East Greenwich or something. She was like, "Isn't that debt for darling?" And, but just absolutely delightful. But she did say the other day, didn't she, to Jenny Darling? Because Jenny was talking about Adam might be leaving and, and, you know, we'd dare be away in hunger and everything. And Lillian said, "Well, some of us find it easy if our children are a nice long way away." And I did think, "Ah, do you actually, are you?" Yeah, no, she, no, she does know that her sons are not a twank. And also, there was video, but she knows, she's her name as well, wasn't she? Yeah. And I love the relationship between, between Linda and Lillian about the terrifying next generation of, of son and daughter and little mongo and everything. Very, I realize I'm sort of going through like every single archer's character now, but Linda and her, you know, attempt to get on with Lillian and Coriander and everything is really touching and lovely. Yeah, yeah. Right, are we done the archers now? All of the archers is done, is finished. Shall I go off, shall I go off and have my shower now then while you two talk about Marvel and then I'll come back in about 15 minutes to reckon? We won't be too long, Lucy. Just a splash and dash for you, a splash and dash darling. Now, how the Dickens does a tall, a telegraph journal, a bastion of the establishment, as you are, and an archer's fan, love a bit of Marvel. How did that happen? Well, Marvel's the establishment, there really isn't it? It's been going since the '60s. It's got, you know, it's got pillars, pillars of the establishment. I mean, my, my absolute addiction has always been to the X-Men. A friend introduced me to the X-Men. It was about 10 when we had the comics and we had the TV cartoons on Saturday, which is just splendid. And I love them because they're just, they're all about outsiders, and particularly when you're an extraordinarily tall ginger girl, as I was, and indeed, still am. It was really lovely to sort of read about people who were misfits, but still had special powers and could still go and do amazing things. And I think I very much identified and loved the X-Men much more than I did any other of the Marvel characters, like Spider-Man or Superman's DC, isn't he? Traitorous? Yeah, Boohist. Yeah, Boohist, Boohist for an old Spider-Man and Superman. But I think that's absolutely fantastic. And the sheer variety of characters in the X-Men, I guess a little bit like bringing it back to the Ambrid, bringing it back to Ambrid, really, is that there's always one. There's always one for your mood, and there's always one for the back or to disapprove of or to find fundamentally weird, such as when they reinvent them. I suppose they've done with Pip. So are you finding that, you know, with all this Marvel movie malarkey, that the world has kind of come to you in terms of its appreciation of taped goodies? I think that's really lovely, actually. I think I'm much more pleased that now a wider audience can enjoy comics, or at least comic characters, and appreciate that they aren't just for geeks or for, you know, misunderstood people who only go and hang out in comic shops. Although, amazingly, I once got 20% off in a comic shop in Chichester, because my mobile phone went off with the X-Men ringtone. One of my more celebrated moments there. I mean, it's like when people start getting into the archers as well, and one of my great friends, his boyfriend, was into the archers for absolutely ages, and we all went on holiday together about five years ago, and every day we'd have to troop down in the car to somewhere that had Wi-Fi, sit in the car, and then listen to what was going on. And, and poor old Pip was just so bewildered by the whole thing, because it was when, it was when Pip Archer was going out with Jude, and that whole things Jude thing was going on. So Will and I were basically just shouting at the radio go, "Stop being so horrible! G7 team! Why are you so weird? This is all weird and wrong." And obviously by the end of the holiday, real life Pip had completely come over to it, and he's now just as we all are. It's like joining a cult. I really spend it. It is. There's something very satisfying about falling in love with something which has a unit, an enclosed universe, and then understanding all the characters and how they interact within it, and then sharing that with one or two other people. And it's almost like special handshakes, like joining the Freemasons or something or another. And there is something incredibly, I feel like a tiny bit. And this is somewhat analogous between the world of kind of Marvel superheroes. One of the reasons why people get so, I have such a fervent kind of loyalty and incredibly defensive about the arches is because we've been, for the most part, we've been listening to it pre-social media, and it was a solitary exercise. You listen to it by yourself, or maybe with your family, but most people listen to it by themselves, and there was somewhat kind of shunned if you spoke about it. And then all of a sudden, social media comes along and you realise that there are five million other people in the UK that felt a little bit kind of odd and peculiar, and that were kind of into this. And it's kind of ditto with the whole world of kind of superheroes, because you read the little comics as kids, or maybe you watched the cartoons as a teenager. But then you were told, basically, to grow up, to put that to one side. But it was all this little thing in the background, and all of a sudden, all these films have kind of come out, and nobody says, "I've always kind of quite like a bit of Captain America." And it's stepping out into the sunlight, isn't it? It's coming out of that closet, whether it's the arches closet, or whether it is the superhero closet. It is absolutely, and I think social media is such a wonderful thing anyway, because I never really got into Mustardland or any of the art rooms, because I was never really a forums person. I found them oddly, just slightly frightening, just not particularly welcoming, whereas I really love, like, follow the Twitter longs and everything that sort of happens on a Sunday, and you can guarantee around 703 every week night there's going to be people saying, "wonderful, witty, or horrified things about what's going on." And that becomes like a lovely community, but it was the one that you can just dip in and out of. But thinking about The X-Men, I remember when I was 17, 18, the very first film in the series came out, and I was just so blown away, because it wasn't somebody going, "Oh god, look at this weird thing, that weird people like it was somebody who had looked at it and gone, "Okay, you know what, let's do this properly." It was such a joy to see, and I felt a little bit like that with Blind Spirit last Christmas, because I thought it was a lovely, a lovely idea from the BBC, it didn't quite come off, but just, you know, taking the arches play that is a real part of our listening calendar every single year, and sort of taking it out and doing it properly was just, it was a lovely mark of respect for listeners, I think, and just a lovely, a really welcome bonus. And goodness, Fallon's a fantastic actress, isn't she? She absolutely is, absolutely. Lovely. Yeah, really, really enjoyed all of that. Just to finish up with the whole world of Marvel and movies, one of the best scenes out of all of the films, I must admit, I've never massively been a devotee of the X-Men, you know, I know who they are and whatever, and what Chris Claremont did in the 70s was absolutely brilliant, to reinvent the X-Men and to make it much more overtly political, you know, absolutely genius, but that scene with Nightcrawler and movie two at the very start, where he's in the White House, and that was stunning to me because it wasn't just the visual effect, but it was actually grounding their abilities in a world that kind of made sense, and it's incredibly powerful, you know, when he's going from room to room, and then he gets into the Oval Office, and you had a real sense actually of this ability, and that to me is kind of the genius thing about what they've done with this kind of Marvel superhero world, as opposed to, let's say, the old Superman movies, where Superman was flying around the planet and spinning it backwards, you know, if you suspend a little bit of belief, it kind of makes sense in terms of the physics of actually what they're doing, and that is just one of the most clever and beautiful scenes, I think, out of any one of these kind of movies, but we should start talking about superheroes, because we are fundamentally a show about, what will you show about Lucy? I've forgotten. Baking, isn't it? A couple of old lushes that like to just talk about crap. Yeah. Yeah. Shall we now see what the other call arena is for breaking about the last weeks going on? Yes, why not? Hello, Ambridge 3962. I hope that you, Lucy, and everyone else affected by recent story lines are doing okay. Recent difficult and painful scenes have got me pondering more than ever. I'm afraid I can't see any good he robbed at all. Every word he says has an edge to it for his own manipulative advantage. He has a particularly annoying vocal mannerism that gets me every time. Whenever he explains something, it really is for his own benefit, but he is trying to make out he is being selfless. He gives a little semi-last mid-sentence that becomes part of the intonation. I think I'd rather have a few more right URs than hear Rob using this vocal trick once again. The storyline worries me in that will it ever reach a conclusion in the near future? I can see it generates a lot of interest in the programme, but it feels like a negative version of in Frasier, where once the Daphne and Niles will they won't they thread was ended, the fears went out of the programme. Is it being painfully strung out to keep interest up with Rob being an eternal baddie? I'm afraid Roy feel that I don't buy that Rob is nice to Henry at times, as all his interactions are just too aggressive and short-tempered. I have a long-standing fear with Rob from a scene right when he met Helen a couple of years ago when Helen came across him photographing scenes of ambridge for a barrow farm brochure or open farm Sunday advertising or some such, so he said near the village playground. Along bells rang in my head, although perhaps I was being too PC, but surely having Rob near the playground with his camera was a bit odd. I've been fretting since that he has been slowly grooming Henry, but sincerely hope I'm wrong as this would be just too much with the other recent storylines. On a lighter note, I was pleased to see the script writers took my pleadings to heart with a beard mentioned in the programme, as the arches was missing this, even if it was a disparaging remark by Adam about one of the pickers whose beard looked like it smudged his chin with a marker pen. I hold out hope for a full scene discussing facial hair very soon. Paul, I agree completely. It is the chuckle, isn't it? It is the mansplaining chuckle that Rob delivers when he's trying to force people. He tries to undermine people and make them think that what they said isn't what they said, or tries to make them feel as if they've somehow been a bit flaky, a bit inadequate. He's like, "Oh, I'm gently amused at your funny little ways in the meantime, do what I bloody well say." It's horrible, but yes, it is a mansplaining chuckle, and I doubt there are many women listening to this podcast who have not been on the receiving end of a mansplaining chuckle, to be frank. And yes, it is painfully strong out, this storyline, but it's the pain because it's true. If it was a lesser soap, it would have all been done and dusted in 10 days, but it is painfully strong out because it is real life, and that's horrible. Hello, dumb to dumb. It's Mary, not contrary, calling from a very hot and sunny Toronto. I just wanted to say that I found the scene between Helen and Johnny when they were at the lagoon's very eerie. I mean, Johnny was just getting a little bit too close for comfort for Helen in terms of her state of mind, and she was very sort of shutting down, pushing her away, just don't say I'm unhappy, Johnny, don't say I'm unhappy. But I thought the sound effects were brilliant because you could hear the birds in the background sort of crying in a very eerie way, almost like it was Helen's psyche or her soul screaming out. So well down to the sound effects team, and yeah, it's a bit of a nail bite of this one. We'll see where it goes, but I really hope Helen does wake up and be honest with herself that she's not happy and she deserves better. Okay, thanks everyone. Bye. Mary, not contrary. Yeah, that was a very interesting exchange. That, Johnny getting too close to Helen, kind of identifying her hurt and also the fear that she showed in saying, no, I'm not, I'm not happy. And you don't tell anybody I'm not happy, Johnny. It's the fear of saying, you know, because she knows what that will inevitably mean that Rob will take that personally and blah, blah, blah. Now, remember last week, I was calling the week before, and we talked about the role with Ian specifically with the deal, the Adam and Brahman deal. And the fact that whether you and I thought it was a good deal or not, the writers have penned it to be a bad deal. And that's been revealed by Ian's reaction to it, because Ian is kind of like conscience of the show, so to speak. And like Ian has already punched Rob. Okay, so Ian is actually, you know, it's a similar thing also with Johnny, that Johnny, you know, Johnny has already picked up that there is something off with Helen. And so the, you know, so the role of Ian and Johnny are somewhat kind of analogous in that, you know, this slight, the slightly to the outside of the families that they're in. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation, they said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous to your contracts, they said, what the f*ck are you talking about? You insane Hollywood s*ck. So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speed slower above 40 gigabytes of details. Ready to pop the question? The jewelers at bluenile.com have got sparkle down to a science with beautiful lab grown diamonds worthy of your most brilliant moments. Their lab grown diamonds are independently graded and guaranteed identical to natural diamonds and they're ready to ship to your door. Go to bluenile.com and use promo code listen to get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more. That's code listen at bluenile.com for $50 off bluenile.com code listen. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B. But with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linkedin, the place to be, to be. And they have and kind of emotionally they have much more kind of empathy and you read into how they see situations as in the writer's truth. And that's what I kind of got with the whole kind of Johnny thinks. So Johnny has noticed and Johnny will be the person who will see and be much more attuned to kind of Helen's descent. Alla Ian in terms of understanding characters, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. Hello. It's Catherine Beige and James's Bentos on the Twitter's. I wanted to give you a call even though I wasn't incredibly inspired by this week's offering on the arches. I think, Blimey, it wasn't exactly a stellar set of episodes this week really. I mean, the Rob story continued and it was creepy and chilling and well written. I kept zoning out of that and focusing on little unimportant things and then just obsessing over them for the rest of the episode. I had to keep going back and listening again because I hadn't noticed actually what was going on. Just really silly things like Brian didn't use a kettle to make his pot of tea, which Jenny insisted he made. They must have one of those boiling water taps in her Albion posh kitchen. I just kept thinking about that, how I didn't hear the noise of the kettle. And then I noticed that I just kept fixating rather on the fact that Jenny was able to magic Cornish pasties that will out of her fridge. So I can see why Brian stays with her. And then I got on to the fact that there are pigeons in the park in Ambridge, which is quite unusual for the country. So I don't really see any pigeons around here. And then the frogs left in the brownies by the brownies in the cupboard. Again, I started thinking, oh, it's not a very good time of year for frogs, is it? They're kind of feeding up for the winter and beginning to hibernate, especially as it's so cold. So she can probably tell I wasn't really that engaged with the storylines. I kept drifting off into quite dull wonderings, but there we go. They did lose me a bit on the U-Hogs scene as well, though I do quite like the sound of the sheep association. I'm wondering what they do on their raucous nights out. Maybe they share one another or knit or have rattle parties or something. But so talking of uninspiring, I just found Pip and Rex incredibly boring. And I'm just now quite concerned they are going to get together because, or nation yawns, they're incredibly boring and dull. I'm sure when I was that their age, I wasn't filled with anxiety about what the older generation thought of my life decisions. Because I don't really think I even agonized about life decisions that much when I was their age. I hate to say it, but I'm sort of with Toby on this one. Maybe if they spent less time wondering about what other people thought about them and how they were taking their responsibilities seriously, they might have a bit more fun. I mean, even Toby would show a girl a better time than having a sausage sandwich with sliced cucumber and tomato in front of a caravan. I think, to be honest, I didn't really blame Pip for wandering off and welcoming the limestone, Laurie. I think I'd have gone too. Anyway, I'm off now to see my future in the future, as Pip might say, because she's quite right, isn't she? Because the future does tend to be in the future. That's where it normally is in the future. Catherine Beijing. Brian didn't use a kettle to make a pot of tea. No, they do have those one of those boiling water taps. I remember Jenny Darling going on about it, saying that they had a cold water tap in the Albion and a boiling hot water tap, because I remember thinking how lethal that sounded. Yeah, I know what you mean about your focusing on the tiny little details. I think it's because the Robin Helen storyline is overwhelming so much and the Kenton storyline. It's also gigantic and cosmically awful. You can't actually deal with it. So your brain just says, oh, that's too stressful. I'm just going to worry about, you know, whether or not they've got, you know, whether or not they've remembered to take that quiche out of the oven or something, you're just kind of, you're trying to give your brain something less hurtful or less stressful to think about, which I remember when, if I have very, very big unpleasant news, I go and fold washing because it just makes me feel like whatever else is going on, my washing will still be folded. It's just that sort of thing. It's your brain's doing a bit of mental laundry, I think. And yeah, Catherine, Catherine said about Pip sort of worrying so much about Pip and Rex and Toby worrying about, well, not Toby, because he doesn't give a bugger, but Pip and Rex worrying about what people think, you know, about with it. This is the time of your, they are at the time of their lives where they can make massive cock-ups because it doesn't really matter. They have family to support them. They don't have family to support. So therefore, if they do make stupid decisions or, you know, mess up interviews or stuff up meetings or leave jobs, it's kind of okay. But I think not to go on about this generation again, like I did last time, sounding like a very, very old lady. I think they are very frightened of failure this generation because I don't think they've ever really, they've kind of been protected from it a lot. I don't know if I agree with that. Really? You know, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying I do not know. I think there is much. One of the massive changes in terms, you know, sociologically in Britain is obviously was kind of brought about in the 80s, but the fact that that you said everybody could be an entrepreneur and you could start your own business and you look at the kind of the explosion of people who are self-employed and every year it goes up exponentially, but it really started significantly towards the middle to the end of the 1980s. And that is kind of tied with the death of people, the slow decline, I would say, in terms of people being castigated for failure, bankruptcy doesn't have the stigma it used to be. So I'm saying I don't know. Well, I just, I agree with that. A couple of years ago, I did a lot of work with a young people's charity and we dealt with children that had been, that were sort of hard to reach or been excluded or whatever, sort of secondary school sort of age. And we, it was all about teaching them to sort of manage their own stuff, not being sort of nursed through situations. And they had budgets to manage. And if they went, if they made a mistake, they gave up instantly. And we said, why did you give up? And they said, and it wasn't them giving up being defeatist. They just said, well, you're going to, I've got it wrong. So you're going to take it all off me now, aren't you? And we said, no, you, you know, you made a mistake. That's okay. You just, but you, but you carry on. That's what everybody makes mistakes, you carry on. And they had never come across that because the way they'd been taught was that at school was that, you know, if there was no such thing as a, as a, as a, as a fate, oh, no, I'm getting myself tangled up. It wasn't there was no such thing as a fail, but just you could either do it or you couldn't. And if you couldn't, you didn't, you got one chance, if you couldn't do it, that was it. You've moved on to the next thing then. I think there might be a bit of a class divide in this. And my, my instinctive gut is that your commoner garden, average middle class, young adult, like Pip. Yeah, you know, we'll go around the world, a little bit of traveling, come back, have a nice hairbrane scheme and get some money from family and friends to open an artisanal bakery and shortage or something like that. Yeah. And it might work and it might not. And if it fails, they do not feel like, Oh my God, my world is, is cracking around me. They've dossed themselves off and go and get themselves a proper job or have another idea. And in America, those people absolutely celebrated as engines of the economy and good on you and blah, blah, blah, over here. Yeah, we are still 20, 30 years behind that. And there is a certain amount of, well, I knew that wasn't going to work is what people would say behind your back, etc, etc. But I don't think that that stigma hangs around that person in a way that it did, let's say 30, I think 30, like 50, 60 years ago, where people would say that person was a failure. You know, they tried to do something. It didn't work. They, they are a failure. And I think that there is a bit of a class divide in this in that. And I see very much with members of my own family, who will talk about ideas, you know, for years and never do them. And it isn't just because they can't find the money to know something you've talked about before. But it's also because actually they're scared of failure. Well, actually, now you've said that it is, it's like if Ed Grundy had got a job and left it after two days, he would have absolutely, Eddie and Clary would have ripped his head off, wouldn't they? They'd have said, what the hell are you doing? And he would have felt mortified. Yeah. It was a great opportunity to be in the first person in the family to go to Brazil and travel the world. Pips like, Oh, something else will come along. I really hadn't thought of that. That is a very good point, Mr. B. Next caller in a row. Bathking in your, in your success. Next. Hello, Duncy Dunns, codice diva here, having her credulity stretched, it would seem by the archers. Not at the idea of the domestic abuse, although harrowing as it is, it's very realistic. Not at the idea of Kenton's depression, which awful as it is, is very realistic. But at the idea that they just happens to be affordable property, the harassment burn Alan to move into. Really, really, it's ridiculous. It seems that even with the fact that Darryl couldn't get a break, Darryl who is a craftsman in couldn't get a break where it came to property, nothing at all. It would seem that harassment and Fallon can move straight into Auntie cardboard's house. Well, well, as soon as it's ready anyway, it's ridiculous and stupid. Anyway, this week's "Titchin' Off Must Die" comes with a special request, which has amused me no end, from I think it was at gene R, something I can't remember. I'm sorry, lovely. Who wanted giant wasps involved? So, here is the giant wasp version of "Titchin' Off Must Die". So "Titchin' Off" nomates, goes out and has a little bit of a picnic on his own, because everybody else is at work and nobody wants him. And he's sat drinking his own brew when a swarm of giant wasps come and attack him. He literally shits himself and he can't move because they've got him pinned down. Three days later, when they finally let him go and he struggles his way home, he's got a really nasty rash on his arse. This rash turncept tick goes all the way up to his bum and his bowel, so he will die slowly and painfully covered in pus and his own effuance. The end. Anyway, that's it for me this week. I'm, oh, apart from Doleen, get that man of yours some help. He needs some bloody help and just take the money, really. I know when you're married and stuff, it's supposed to be a team, but just take the money because he's not making rational decisions right now. If he's not making rational decisions about, about the business and you need to do it for him because at the end of the day, if I remember rightly, it is Joleen's business. Godless diva is having a credulity stretched. Yes, that brought tears to my eyes. You, yeah, property in the village for God's sake. Well, it's what I said last week, isn't it? All of a sudden there's no property for startups. Would you like a lovely free bedroom cottage? Yes, please. Okay, there you go. Off you go. How convenient. But yes, I think it was egg stones who said Woodbine is going to end up being the t-shop. So we're presumably going to have the t-shop at the front and harassment and Fallon shacked up in the back of Woodbine, just as we're going to have the shop at the front of the ball and the bar at the back of the ball. Are we talking about, um, Fallon? Yeah, I love you trying to ban camp and I'm just saying that. I think she knows, you know, I think you've mentioned it before. I think, I know, because actually, if you were to go back and listen to our podcasts, our podcasting output, went to last time, I even mentioned. Yeah, it was a long time ago, actually. No, a long time ago, long time ago. And I just wanted to know, I'm still hanging on in, but when you leave, Harrison? Yokel Bear. Oh, and can I just say very quickly before going to Yokel Bear? That I line up behind Miss Van Campen with her thoughts and her feelings about the refugee crisis and she sent out a very lovely tweet, which has been retweeted a few times and right behind you. And I think all right, minded and thinking people are with this kind of current crisis that is going on throughout Europe. Yokel Bear, as you were. I heard them, stomach Shokel Bear here. There were moments that I really, really love this week. Susan, especially going, she gets the bit between her teeth. She's a community campaigner extraordinaire, really, isn't she? I think in this fight over the shot, she's going to leave Linda standing in terms of taking on Hazel. I think this could be a Titanic showdown, please script writers. Please, let's have a Barney between Hazel and Susan, because it will be brilliant. Other things I've enjoyed this week is how much of a patent Jim is. Even though I spent most of my time shouting at the radio going, don't be a pedant. I just, he just can't help himself, can he? You know, somebody pronounces something Italian wrong and he's got to correct it. He just can't help himself and it has been quite amusing. So yeah, I mean, I don't know. I'm with Roy Field as well. I feel a bit short changed over this big thing. And oddly, I'm beginning to warm to Rex. I've said before, but Toby, no, not so much anymore. He's just feckless and that gets boring after a while. It's been a bit of a strange week in Enbridge. Oh, sorry, I've got to go. That's my other phone going. Jim is a pedant. He was shouting at the radio. Yes, Jim was being slightly unbearable, wasn't he? But the thing is, poor Jim never has, he has so scant opportunity to show off. He reminds me of Marvin the paranoid android on them, you know, hitchhiker's guide when he says, can you make me a cup of tea? And he says, yeah, I've got a brain the size of a planet. Of course, I can make a cup of tea. And you kind of think, yeah, he's, you know, he has such scant opportunity to show off his historical knowledge, his linguistic abilities and all that. So whenever he gets the chance, you cannot hold the man back. But yes, he was being extremely irritating. And that ringtone thing is just so patternizing. Oh, hated it. Hated that episode. Hi, Dumty Dum. It's Lady Gaff Gaff here. I called in a couple of months ago and I've meant to call in frequently since, but things have been busy, been on honeymoon in Canada and all sorts of lovely things. I realized I broke the rules last time. I'm really, really sorry. I hope Lucy and Roy Field can forgive me. I'm a languages teacher in a secondary school. I teach French and German, unfortunately, not Italian, which made the last couple of weeks completely incomprehensible, I have to say, mainly Jim and Linda. I did like the introduction of Italian because it made Jim seem very pretentious. But I thought it went a bit too far even for a linguist like me. There was so much of it that I couldn't understand, which in a 15 minute episode is a little bit off-putting. I don't know what everybody else thought. Anyway, just listen to Sunday's episode and had a couple of thoughts. Rob has clearly given up work so he can be around Helen all the time, which is very controlling and sinister and also not only controlling Helen, but controlling Bridge Farm and really, really getting his feet under the table. And it seems like things have really gone up a gear in that respect. I think Helen might have realized just in time, but that remains to be seen, whether she can do anything about that. I can't work out his feelings for Henry, though, because over the past couple of weeks, as other callerinerers have commented, he seemed very short with Henry, very short-tempered, seemed maybe that it was escalating towards some sort of violent behaviour. But then on Sunday, he was very, very cheerful, talking about taking Henry to school, very loving and in much more sort of fatherly way. I suppose that's just the writer's painting him out to be a very complex character, but it is interesting and I'd like to know your thoughts on that. Worried about Henry? Yes, I, yeah. It is getting, I don't, I disagree with you a little bit, Royph, as well, in that I think there's been an undercurrent of impatience with Henry all the way along. And do you know what? Lucy, Lucy, I've, I've, I've totally acknowledged that. Oh, have you sorry? No, no, no, no. I see, he's completely losing and I know Paul rooms are the same thing too, that he kind of disagreed with me, but I acknowledge that he's losing his patience with Henry, right? But because we do not like the character, we gloss over the fact that he does share, or at least he has shared moments with Henry. And they make, the writers have made a massive play of the fact that he always takes him to the park. Yeah. You know, once a fortnight is down that bloody part where all the other fathers, you know, with their children's biological or not, they're at work. He's never at bloody work, is he? Well, a lot of this is actually on the Sunday episode, there is, you know, so, you know, yes, is an arse, yes, he's evil, yes, he's Dracula, yes, he's a pantomime villain. And yes, we worry about Henry's safety going, you know, going into the future because this man has got a dreadful, dreadful temper. But the truth of the matter is, he does spend some time with Henry. That's fact. And I, and I put that, you know, and that's good. I think one of the clear reasons why somebody like Pat who is no fool, has given him the wide benefit of the doubt because as far as Pat's concern, she sees this kind of loving, traditional, you know, family and her grandson apparently being loved and taken care of by this man. It's just, you know, they've just, I'm not wrong in this, you know, but yes, he, going forward, heaven knows what's going to happen to the poor. Did you hear when he was, and this made me, is so cleverly done, when Henry, Horrid Henry was shouting at the pigeons, trying to kick them. And Helen said, stop doing that, Henry, it's horrible. And Rob was laughing. And I thought, you are the sort of little salt that would have run, you know, kicked ducks by the park, when all the other kids are feeding them, you would be the one that would be creeping up on them, trying to throw stones at them, you little arse. I mean, Rob, not to Henry. But yes, the sooner Henry gets away from that influence, the better. Because he's only going to learn his relationship with women through, through Rob, you know, and there's going to come a time where he's going to be saying, to Helen, no, I'll do what I want and you've got to do this and you've got to do that if this carries on. Oh, crumbs, you know, your spot on, you know, this is going to echo throughout the generations. I hadn't, I hadn't thought about at all. Because Henry did start off. As soon as he could kind of talk, he was a bit of a handful in the ship, wasn't he? Yeah. And actually, he's somewhat calmed down and being somewhat obedient since Rob's been about. Well, yeah, because you don't know whether Rob's walloping him. I don't think he is, but what we do know, though, is the whole rob at the end of that Thursday, it'd be said for last, was about the fact that he, that interest do on the set E, but he was rough with it, wasn't he? Yes, Bruce, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, the horrid horrid horrid. Um, let's do, Auntie Jean wants to talk about Rob and, uh, so does Witherspoon, so we can put those two together. Okay. Hello, Lucy and Roy Field is Auntie Jean here. Just ringing, I'm a week behindal, again, by the way, so I am ringing about the rob heading of last week, the awful events. I think it's Lucy's right, though. I don't think that Helen was dragged. I think she just got tipsy on an awful lot of wine, and, uh, I get quite tipsy very easily on wine. I think that's exactly right. I think she just had too much, and she didn't, she just expected a nice night in with her husband, and that's what she got. It's, that's not what she got at all, and it was awful to listen to. The question is, how long is it going to go on for before Helen does anything, because some people stay in abusive relationships for years, don't they? And if Helen, and she has got very low self-esteem, we know. If Helen thinks, well, I brought this upon myself, I just have to get on with it, then it could go on for an awfully long time, let's hope not. And that's for Pat's sudden, oh my God, what's wonderful, and aren't you lucky to have him? Where did that come from? Seriously, just because he had to go at Jim. I don't think so. That, that, and how she didn't pick up on Helen's incapacity to say very much, um, it's just not very real at all. Pip on the other hand, oh my God, we're stuck with Pip. Well, what can you say, really? And just because she wasn't going to go to Brazil, and, and she was going to have to do some actual physical proper office work. Well, I don't know. Anyway, Kenton, I think this is right about that, as well. I think up to a point, you would say, oh, city sod, you know, it's all his own fault, but now he's in the spiral of just drinking, and a very low self-esteem, and blaming himself for everything, and thinking that nobody wants him, or he deserves anybody, this is going to be quite interesting, because lots and lots of people get like that, and don't ever ask for help. One hopes that somebody will get to him and help him, and it'll turn around, but again, it could be quite a long time. Anyway, I'm prattled on for over two minutes, and you've got limits on your show, so I will let you get on. Thank you for the podcast. As per usual, it's very good, and I'll speak to you again soon. Bye! Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling, toss salads and scrambled eggs, massive! Greetings Lucy Royfield and all dumpty dimmers around the world. It's with a spoon and Angus Haggis here wishing you a happy Labor Day weekend from America. More beautiful weather, the twice-annual Greenwich Village Art Fair taking place, returning NYU students and a bank holiday on Monday. What could be better? The same could not be said for some of the residents of Aembridge this week. First on my list, Kenton. He's an interesting character, in that he's been garnering such conflicting feelings from us. At times we're very concerned about him, as I outlined two weeks ago, he can appear clinically depressed and is definitely in need of professional evaluation and treatment. He has low self-esteem, money worries, and a bit of a drinking problem. From that point of view, he has gone our sympathy, or should I say empathy. On the other hand, he's made poor decisions, including one horrendous one, and has focused his anger unfairly onto his family, most especially David. From that point of view, I also understand why someone would have the urge to just slap him across the face, moonstruck style. However, we do need to resist that urge and try to get him the help he needs. On Friday, we left him with the big decision. Will he or won't he accept the money? If we have, and it's a wonderful life scenario, then once again, as has been discussed, the script writers will have unsatisfactorily wrapped up a conflict with a nice red bow. On the other hand, many listeners want the Rob Hellen storyline wrapped up, because it has been so disquieting. This touched a nerve for those of us who have experienced something similar, and for those of us who have not, hopefully most of us, we are very upset by Hellen's powerlessness, because we are experiencing that powerlessness as well. It is palpable. We are appreciating the excellent writing, it's like a suspenseful novel, but if we're reading a well-written book, we know we could read more quickly to get to the end. But here, we're on a terrifying journey in which the script writers are in control. So come on, Tom, you can be our representative and figure this out. We need relief and Hellen need your help. Finally, on a lighter note, Pip. So Pip resigned her long-sought after first job after graduating from university two days after beginning it. Actually, I could understand. I have a patient the same age as Pip who just graduated from university who quit her first job two weeks after starting it. She did give it more time than Pip did, she was miserable there, and it was a bad fit, and she has quickly gotten a new job because she's very talented and outgoing. Now, Pip has left her job to return to the farm where she grew up and has spent her whole life and now may very well spend the next 70-odd years at. So why did Pip actually go to university? And the reason I'm really angry with Pip, and this goes to what Lucy was talking about last week, is that she left nice Rex Fair brethren in the middle of his sausage barbecue. With hardly any, I'm really sorry to do this to you. Very poor form Pip. So with that, Angus and I will sign off. You want to walk in Washington Square Park, you're all welcome to say hello if you're in town. So next week. This is an agonising storyline because it's going in real time, and we can't like with a spoon said, we would like to speed it up and get, if you're reading an unbearable story, you know, if I really want to, I can, you know, read this book until three o'clock in the morning to find out what happens. But on this occasion, we're just stuck, we're stuck with when they decide to do the reveal. We're absolutely held in there in their control as Helen is by Rob. So it's a good metaphor, I suppose. Very good. Very good, very good. And I think, and I know I've been somewhat impatient with it, but what is delicious about this is the real time nature of it. Can you hear them cutting the grass out? Yes. Is that your team of gardeners working away? Yes, yes, on my grounds, so to speak. Grains. Grounds, yes. Yeah. It comes out in his sit-on. We have no worries about that kind of expression on his way, haven't we? We haven't. Oh, we've had some, I don't know, but we've had some emailerinerers, shall I do then? Have we done all the calls? We have. Well, I was going to say something meaningful. Sorry. Yeah, but you know what, your tick of mind kind of threw me. So go on, let's do the emailerinerers. Sorry. Angela Nagle. I did empty dump. Obviously, I don't listen to the archers myself. I don't know why you're pretending not to Angela, and as if it's anything to be ashamed of. But my friend, in his verticommas, told me that Mike and Vicky were spotted in Birmingham's reflex 80s bar last night dressed as fairies and tangoing to Madonna. My friend is still covered in the fairy dust Vicky was throwing around, as were half the clubbers, and we understand that there is a new glitter trail, tourist opportunity, franchise available, if anyone would like to make a bid. Thank you for that, Angela. Anybody who's interested in new business opportunity contact us, Bank of Kenton Archer. Before you go on, now, the reason why that was sent in is because Angela, Emma and Jenny invited me up to Birmingham this week, known that I was a brumming because they are kind of clever management nurses, and they meet up around the country a few times a year, and they invited me up to Brum for their nurse's weekend. Now, I do not have the stamina two nights out with these ladies. So I was going to say, you want a nurses weekend? My god, it's like a carry-on film. Lucy, that goes a lot of fun. I'd never see you again, would I? That would be it, podcast over. I'd get a postcard in four months time from Costa Rica saying I don't know what happened. They are a lot of fun, and thank you, thank you, thank you for inviting me up. There were 13 of them on the Friday, and then another seven turned up from Liverpool and wherever on the Saturday. But that one nurse flying from Ireland, you know, it's like a big deal. And I managed to convert somebody into being an arches fan, because I was definitely at the end of the arches table, and we were chatting away, and she went, "Isn't that that dreadful thing with the silly theme tune?" And you'd do a podcast. But by the end of our meal at Cafe Rouge, she said, "Okay, very enough. I'm going to listen. I'm going to listen." So thank you, Angela, for a wonderful weekend, and whenever the next one is, I will be there. Cosmo, who has many, many questions of the type that only Cosmo can ask, right? A, how come Lillian can find £26,000 at the accountant after the mess created by Matt and Anthony are both leaving? Well, Lillian's not finding the full 26, is she? Oh, well, no. But there was this thing about the share, though, isn't it? Oh, yes, sorry. So it was a good six, she's supposed to find. Uh, Jamie B. Jamie was left a bit of the pub by Sid, so why is his lack of contribution not mentioned? And that was briefly mentioned, um, cos I've, um, Jamie leaves a bit of a pub, a pump or something, an optic. I'd want the gin. Jolene did say something about, she did mention Jamie in passing. Oh, okay. You did, though, um, about his kind of share. And the other thing, uh, is that it is Jolene's share of the pub, not, not Kenton. So yeah, Jolene really could just go and grab that money, couldn't she, and just say, "To hell with, hell with you." You know, I'm getting me blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. See, how come David has money on deposit most farmers survive on overdrafts? Yeah, here's the thing, right? Because you far be it from us to try and pull Cosmo to task, right? But if you have somewhere worth, what, 7.0 million? And, okay, Justin Elliott over egged the pudding by about a million, didn't he? Because he just wanted the sale done. So let's say it's worth six and a half. And, but you operate on an overdraft, you're still going to be able to go to any bank manager and say, come on, you know, forward me, five, 10, 15, 20, 50 grand. So, but whether that could be done in a matter of days, you know, yeah, probably not. But far be it from me Cosmo to lock horns with you about anything financial, just saying, though. D, a bank manager, this goes up to G, by the way, T, a bank manager would ask Lily, Lizzy, Lizzy difficult questions about 4,000 pounds out of the overdraft, not for business purposes. No, he wouldn't, he wouldn't realize, or she wouldn't realize, until she'd taken out. I don't think, I thought Shuler and Alistair had money problems after his gambling, has that all gone away? Presumably, yes. How much did, how much did Shuler say she's going to throw into the pot here? Four. Makes me jump now, because they never used to mention figures, when they, on the arches, whenever they talked about money, they never actually put a figure on it. They'd call it that amount, or whatever, and you'd just be screaming at the radio, how much? Try to just put it in context. But now they've gone to reverse, they're like, it's 27,000 pounds, 947 pence, you know, it's just. Is that new pence? Yeah. That's a predestible thing is, though, right? Money problems are all relative, though, aren't they? Right? Yes. Some people say they have money problems in the dance of their last half a meal. Yeah. Some people say they have money problems in the dance of their last 500 quid. Yeah. So, Shuler and Alistair have been money problems, completely and utterly relative. And I would have thought, a solid middle-class couple like them, they should be able to rustle up four grand in a week. Yeah. I would have thought. Yeah. If I am not surprised that Jill has the money, as she has rent coming in from Carol to Bogon. That's very true. I had forgotten that. Yes. And gee, he says there was never any chance of Kenton accepting handouts from his hated family. Well, yes, I think we could all see that coming. But no, you don't understand. I can't do it. They're all hate me. I'm stupid man. Oh, well, not stupid, but just, oh, I just feel really sorry for Jolene because she can't move. It's like, it's like hauling a tanker along behind you. She actually wants to get things moving to fix stuff and he's just got the brakes on. And it's really hard work. And she's being amazingly cheerful. Good old Jolene. I don't know what it takes to actually make Jolene full-on miserable. Well, if you remember, after they got married, she did go into miserable mode, wasn't she? She was always snapping and, you know, biting at Kenton. Yeah, but she wasn't miserable. She was just angry. That's right. Very true, very true. But she is energetic. Depressed is true. Yeah, true. But she realizes that something's up weekend at a good time. And so she is trying her best to be a supportive partner in the way that she knows how to, you know, so. And Sean Harris said this has been... Oh, isn't there? Isn't there a Z? Sorry. No, we've got, we got, we got to G. That was it. Okay. Sean Harris said this has been bugging him for months. He said, "When Brockfield was being flogged and they were moving up to Handy Hawk, Ruth and David were going to buy the other three out of the business. They could obviously afford to do so then. So what's to stop them now? Remorgating the farm or whatever the equivalent is. I'm giving Kenton the money who so desperately wants. Problem solved, surely. Yes. I don't know. This seems to be... It's... It seems to... You know, when your mood alters, depending on your... Your disposable income alters psychologically, depending on what mood you're in. So if you're in quite a jolly mood, an optimistic mood, you think, "Oh, yes, I can afford that because I'm sure I'll have loads more money coming in." And then when you're depressed, you think, "Oh God, I'm not sure I can afford to buy milk. I'll just get a hundred milk, Artan." And I think that seems to be what's happening with Brookfield. One minute there, you know, practically bankrupt the next minute. They remembered that they live in a seven million pound house and it just seems to sort of expound and contract, depending on what they want. And I think this is Sean as well. "Where are Kate's guests going to find toilets and showers in the Herbalay?" "B, why would you dare you manage to know anything about project managing a building job?" Well, he just kind of... It's because it's got a bloody title, hasn't it? And it enables him to wander around willy waving and not actually doing anything, bloody Rob? Well, I think, but I don't know if I agree with that. I think, fundamentally, the link is the word manager, in both his project manager, dairy manager, that if you can manage efficiently... Oh, sorry, this is cost, though, again. These were... This was more of Cosmo. So it wasn't just G. We'd got... We had gone on. Okay, so what, we're on to... Cue with you, formatting. That I think... I think we talked about this before, last week or the week before, that Rob has many faults, but actually, if we take it that Charlie is no fool and he isn't, and he is absolutely a details person, he realises that Rob is decent at his job. Not saying he's brilliant, but he's decent at his job. And he's the type of arse that could deal with a grumpy over, isn't he? Exactly, and will the attention to detail be a bit of a pendant. It's all about process. You said you were going to do this and you said that and blah, blah, blah. So actually, a very good dairy manager could be a very good project manager. But he wasn't a very good dairy manager, because he got stuffed all his spreadsheets up, didn't he? Yeah, but he managed to remind Charlie that the reason why the fertility went down a rock ball sideways was because of the nonsense after the flood, and Charlie went, "Oh yeah." He also wants to know if Ian Adams hot tub has been restored to working order? Cosmo, and finally, if they're moving back home, how come no one else is? Well, that one was answered, because there was an exchange where, I think it was Caroline said, "Oh, I wish we had your insurers, i.e. I wish our company that we're with was as efficient as yours that we could be moving back home too." So they obviously must be a rarity, the fact that they're moving, they've moved back and no one else has. Hello, Ian. The emailing errors. Tit comes revving up out there. You sure you haven't, he's not doing the Isle of Man thingy. Is the rally cross going on on the sit-on mower outside? Yes, no. Lizzie got Titke, a big one, a sit-on mower thing last time, and Titke is rushing around my ground. Is that emailing or is it? It is. All right, smashing super, let's take a quick five and then hashtag the arches tweets of the last week. Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dumpty Dum. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe, or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith Cloths are eco-friendly, reusable and washable, and you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer, proud sponsors of Dumpty Dum. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm, something comforting you can really get a firm grip on? Why not buy a Dumpty Dum mug from the shop at dumptydum.com? Goes down lovely. Lucy. Yes. Give us your hashtag the arches tweets of the last seven days please. If we had any ham, put, raise his hand, please miss, I thought Lewis lived in Julia's old room, a lower Locksley, are he and Jill going to share? Yes, good point, that's another bloody person who's just sodding vanished. Peter Scott said, hmm, wonders if I might be able to snap chat with Sabrina Thwaite, hashtag opera selfie. MJH Moonbug talked about pip. Yes, that's right, bravery is exactly how I described quitting a job after two days due to a massive sense of entitlement. Susan Cassab said I am off now to puzzle over that rude word on the tea urn that so shocked Jill, bottom, boobies, poo, we should be told. And tweet of the week was Scott Mathewman. And so Pip leaves Rex to deal with his sausage alone again. I'm beginning. Do you know what? Do you know Rex and Toby? There's something about them that is reminding me of James Heriot and Tristan Farnan. What's it called? The vet program, you know, all creatures great and small. Yeah, yeah. There's kind of, you know, reliable, boring James. And then the Loris Tristan, who's a bit of an arse, but kind of quite attractive and you know, all that and and Rex stumping along hopelessly, you know, lusting after Pip, but being all Hugh Grant and he can't say it. And yes, but it's a I always imagined them in kind of Oxford bags and sort of tank top knitted woolly tank top type things. That would be three eight nine? Yes. Anyway, that's possibly just me. I don't know. Did you really isn't? No matter what bonkers things I say, someone will always then tweet. Yes, I thought so too. And I think it's not me. I'm not entirely nuts. That'll probably be the hand, but there you are as well. Oh, are you done? I am. Goodness. It's like a one woman show. I'm knacking down. Blooming L loose. Well, I tell you what, right? Every week we just get better and better, don't we? I reckon I thought I'd done something wrong then. When you go blooming L loose, I kind of think, Oh, no, I forgot to write a bit in the script or something. No, no, I'm just saying, you know, we've got a wonderful community of listeners. You know, we have these super duper guests. You know, I reckon we've peaked. I really do. I reckon this has been peak, dum-dum-dum. It's downhill from here. You can't get any better than this. Archers chat, superheroes chat. You got a telegraph journal, blooming L, we're a cawking podcast. Do you think we can win an award? Yeah, probably several. Such as fencing panel of the year, something like that. Do you think after do an award for podcasts? Well, I'm hastily scribbling the words "baffter" onto this piece of doweling that I just haven't. I'll be winging its way to listen, folks. If you think we deserve an award, why don't you go on to dum-dum-dum.com and go on to our forum and post a thread saying you guys should win an award. Also, yeah, yeah, all several. And also, you can go there to see the ways in which goddess diva reckons that teaching nub must die, which is a rather funny thread. And also, you can donate to Alice in Segan Tyler's fundraising for Mind. She's done a run, but you can still donate to it, and Mind is a wonderful charity. And she's also co-sponsored this show. So go there and let forth your thoughts and feelings about the whole world of archerdom. And if you needed any other reason to go to dum-dum-dum.com, you can go there to buy a mug or a t-shirt or something which has our logo or Lillian only spelled with one L as somebody pointed out. So I am not buying a team Lillian t-shirt as much as I want one because then you've got one L. So we're going to fix that at some point this week. Right now, we do this for love, but if you want to throw some of your shackles in our direction, you can do that by going on to patreon.com, which is spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/dum-dum. We can support our show for approximately two dollars every episode. You can also donate to the show by going to our site and hitting the donate button. Oh, and we'd like to thank the following for their donations in the last month. Chloe Sastry. K.R. Whitbread. Felicity Ward-Smith. Maureen Freiburger. Maggie Wood. Suzanne Hardy. Oh, sorry. I missed that didn't I? Sorry. Lonnie J. Baha. And. Mrs. Sheila Snowden. Oh, we love you Sheila. Order of John Archer News. We received another email regarding the Order of the Johns. Maureen Freiburger says I am the grandmother of John VI. Do I have a title like Regent or something? We don't have that in the colony that got away. Anyway, little Johnny Freiburger is now a little over three months old. My husband and I have started daycare for Sir John since his teacher mother started school. We were sitting on the porch swing today, listening to your dumpty-dum podcast and The Archers. It was a highlight of our very hot summery day in Iowa, USA. I'll send a photo of Sir John VI if it is okay with his parents. Really enjoying your podcast and of course The Archers, well done you. Thank you Maureen. Maureen, have you met Donald Trump? Did you go to the Iowa State Fair? She's probably been doorsteped by all these Republican politicians. Please tell us if you have been. Because, you know, I've got to speak thinking about American politics. But anyway, that is another podcast. Remember to get in contact where you can send us a voice message by a speakpike, which is the little red tab on our website. And also it's on your tablet too. And it's probably on your mobile phone. It is. It's the little red tab over on the right. Just hit that and then you can just leave a voicemail message because it's awesome like that. Or you can call us on 020313105 to leave us a telephone, old-fashioned message if you get discombobulated by new technology and want to use a technology which has been around for about 120 years. Or you can send us a tweet. All follow us on the twitters where we are at, dumbly dumb. Or you can tweet me. But I'm so rubbish on the twitters. I don't know really why you would. But if you can be bothered first, I'm at Royfield. You can follow me at Lucy V. Freeman, Sarah Smith at @Sarah_Smith. And I am Cat Brown 82 with a cave. Goodness. I tell you what, you're good. Every guest we've had on. It's always been like this massive gap. We go, "Hello!" And they go, "Oh, is it me now?" Yeah, there nearly was. Andbridge just happily took a couple of inches out of my wrist with her claws to make sure the tension. So it seems like that sharpens the mind. Well, that's it. Another don't be dumb is done. Thoughts and feelings, Cat Brown, on Lucy's performance on a monologue. So now you've listened to every word of that, didn't you? I thought it was absolutely spectacular. Which bit? Which bit? Which joke, in particular? We need to go and have another coffee. This is very, very mean because they haven't claked me the monologue yet. We can't possibly take up more of your time instead of probably chats about Marvel. So what's next for you, Cat? I am going to pick Andbridge off of my lap. This is the cat rather than the entire village and spend probably approximately the next 20 minutes removing cat hair from this incredibly ill-advised choice of black jumper that I've made. And then toddle into town for a meeting and then go to work. Another day, another day dawns with my X-Men multi-genre powers. Could I make a special request, please? Could you arrange to push Jillian Reynolds down the stairs so that I can have her job? Because it is my ideal job. It has been my ideal job since I was about 12. Do you know, I think precisely for this reason, she never comes into the office. There's a queue of people waiting to shove them away. There are very few stairs at the telegraph actually. I think I've never really seen any of the critics go anywhere near them. I think just in case somebody casually goes, I've already lined Michael Hogan up to do it as well, but he said he can't get near her either. So it's bloody hopelessly. I will bear that in mind and probably not do it for the reason. They'll let you have podcasts in prison and that'll be very sad. Well, in that case, I'm just going to leave you to it and I am going to go and make a donation to Remind, which is a spectacular charity, and I'm very, very happy that we're all supporting it. To remind you that 60% of sales on Amazon come from independent sellers, Farmer Bob of Princeton Popcorn. Howdy. We'll read 60% of this ad. Fire away, Bob. Small business owners like myself are growing their businesses faster on Amazon. By getting help with things like shipping. Shop small business on Amazon, especially Princeton Popcorn. Amazon, every day better. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linked in. The place to be. To be.
Parakeets rule – listen to DTD for an explanation! Lucy and Roifield are joined by Kat Brown of the Telegraph and her cat. Their discussions gave proper consideration to the ill treatment accorded to the Lilian / Matt relationship which was peremptorily ended rather than handled with a decently treated story. This chat also brought to mind that perhaps Paul was a proto-Rob creation (similarly Jean Harvey was a proto-Lynda Snell). I can clarify that Jamie is apprenticed to Isaac on the Berrow Estate, not Mike Tucker (which is odd because Ed is having to trim the estate hedges in lieu of rent on his land). Attention briefly turned to Marvel super heroes on which Kat is also an expert. Kat did not mention her new boots but did consider the entire podcast worthy of a Bafta.
Calls covered sounds – Rob’s unpleasant chuckle, the pigeons, the lack of a boiling kettle; the lack of a housing crisis; plus Rob and Helen of course. Roifield has heard mention of Jamie’s share of the Bull which Kosmo missed completely. Probably drowned out by the sound effects.
Millie Belle had technical problems so is missing but on the website forum Goddess Deeva keeps creating new ways for Rob to die.
Kosmo
On this week’s show we have calls from:
Paul Roome who is annoyed by Rob’s mansplaining
Mrs Baigent who’s drifting off
Lady Garf Garf who’s worried about Henry
Mary Not Contrary who thinks Johnnie’s getting too close
Aunty Jean who’s cross with Pat
Witherspoon and Angus Haggis who’s whining
Goddess Deeva who’s had her credulity stretched
Yokelbear who’s annoying Dylan Nells
The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 74 – Kat Brown and Cat Brown appeared first on DumTeeDum.