DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 71 – No more Wob it’s Daddy now

Early recording this week again whilst at least one of us was stuck in traffic on the M6. Lucy seemed most concerned about Helen’s dowry and Kenton’s decline into a shop doorway-sleeping bum but was upset over the lack of entertainment at the party at the Stables as there was no family present.

Roifield pointed out that Kenton has finally started to realise he is the architect of his own downfall with an incredibly accurate and believable representation of depression hitting an ebullient optimist although Yokelbear has no sympathy for Kenton. Dusty Substances feels that the entire programme has been undermined by personality changes and is thinking of stopping listening (don’t says Kosmo). Scarlett Sparrow is a tap dancing accountant and has a great voice.

Lucy on a rural retreat was bothered by wasps, a biplane and dogs; the latter barking completely disrupted Roifield’s thought processes. Lucy’s mum had no camp coffee for Roifield who recounted his experiences of the excellent Edgbaston hospitality. It has been busy on Facebook and Millie Belle had lots to report.

In summary the deconstruction of Kenton and Helen plus the interaction between Ruthpet and David over Heather makes this week compulsive listening.

Kosmo

On this week’s show we have calls from
Andrew Horn who thinks Adam should be on the minimum wage
Scarlett Sparrow who’s applying to be one of Roifield’s lovely girls
Yokelbear who’s enjoying unravelling of Rob
Dusty Substances who’s furious
Mrs Bentos who thinks Charlie is excited about biscuits
Isaac Q who says hurrah for unpleasantness
Miss Midcity who missed last weeks early deadline
Jo Jo Sexy Heels who says Jolene needs to step up
Witherspoon who says Rob’s been fiddling

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 71 – No more Wob it’s Daddy now appeared first on DumTeeDum.

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Duration:: 1h 20m
Broadcast on:: 18 Aug 2015
Audio Format:: other

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Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of CD-Tails. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dumb Tea Dumb. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith cloths are eco-friendly, usable and washable. And, you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posh-er washer, proud sponsors of Dumb Tea Dumb. Everyone brace yourselves because this is Dumb Tea Dumb in the show, but the reality duck you drum with that is centered on the average in the heart of the Midlands. I'm a suffragist sash that is Royfield Brown and with me have the fish sausage that is Lucy Freeman and the last part of a WY anniversary celebration and spokes is you. Now, today's Dumb Tea Dumb was sent in by Miss Alliance, so I'd like to hit the thought of play again, really. But Lucy, when we need some fresh ones, can you remind? Yes, no, we do need fresh ones, don't we? Yeah, we do, we do, we do, we do. If you'd like to send us a Dumb Tea Dumb to sing us a Dumb Tea Dumb, give us a plot prediction or buy Kenton some deodorant. Ring us on 0203, 031 3105 or leave us a message on speak pipe thanks to lovely sandwiches. Well, one minute. Mom, I'm in the middle of recording. As you were Freeman. I love this because my mum's about to do exactly the same thing. We like a couple of teenagers running a pirate radio station. Mom! Oh, talking about pirate radio stations, I'll come on to that later. There is a most excellent comedy on BBC Three. Okay. People do nothing, but anyway. Oh, yeah, yeah. Thanks to lovely sandwiches for her amazing voices, to Cosmo for his podcast round-ups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Malena is still here. Derek and Malena were off to a gastro pub when I last saw them. Derek was up for the full three courses, but Malena said she'd seen more than enough spotted dick in the last ten days. I love an old-fashioned pudding me. On this week's show, we have calls from Andrew Horn, who thinks Adam should be on the minimum wage. I don't think he quite said that. Scarlett Sparrow is applying to one of Royfield's, one of my lovely girls. You're in. You're in Scarlett Sparrow. Yoko Bear, who's enjoying the unraveling and rub, does these substances, who's furious? Mrs. Bentus, who thinks Charlie is excited about biscuits. Isaac Q, who says, "Hara from Pleasantness." Oh, he's not a first-time call winner. Winnie Peg. That's it, Winnie Peg. Miss Mid City, who missed last week's early deadline. Jojo is sexy, he's who wants Jolene to step up with a spoon, who says, "Rubs being fiddling." But first, before all the juicy, woozy bits, let's have a little bit of loose with her last week in Ambridge. Dear Dowlie. We started the week with Kenton Salking, just for a change. This was another self-inflicted wound, a hangover, caused by Kenton cuddling a whiskey bottle and shouting, "No one loves me and I'll see him as my mommy loves me and my brother is a massive poop." He's now started sleeping in his clothes, he stinks and he's putting nuts on the bar, so that'll be a draw. They'll be fighting to get in. Luckily, however, he bumped into Toby, who invited him out, drinking to complete his transition into a pathetic, self-pitying knob, who cannot find the silent button on his phone. He was whinging on about going back to sea, and quite frankly, I will personally push him off into the shallows at great yarmouth in a rubber dinghy and let him take his chances. However, on the upside, he did manage to get out of going to Schuler's birthday party, along with Pip, Ben, Josh, David, Lily, Freddie, Jolene and Ruth. So, Schuler got to eat a whole pavlour by herself and pretend that she was having a romantic candle lit in with Daniel, so she was happy. Lindy Bottom is hell bent on finding someone else to be the celebrity opening of the shop that he's not the buddiker of Borsachie. And the tabards are here, 100% polyester, so they'll be nice and sweaty when they're all huddled together over the gypsy creams. Susan tried to force one over Linda's head, which created an electrical storm over the shop and fused Kate's juicer. The Tichinob, Helen and Pat's situation has now got so hideous I can barely bring myself to speak of it. Now he has her in his legal grasp. Tichinob is predictably starting to take his frustration out on her at Charlie furtling about in Tichinob's drawers trying to find out the secret of how he impregnated all those cows. Helen, in a feat of idiocy breathtaking even for her, simpered to her mother that Peggy's blood money had felt like a dowry. Poor Pat was so horrified her contact lenses fell in the yogurt, so that's another food safety crisis on its way. Helen then had the gall to say to Ian that you had to put your relationship for everything else. Yes, Helen, before your self-respect, your privacy, your dignity, but he's going to the shed and taking a rake with him. So that's the update from Carol Toboggan, and Hester's bearing up for anyone who was wondering. Jill has gone completely mad at his cooking fish sausage while wearing a suffragette sash and they're trying to put Heather in her home. Pip is still running the farm single-handedly while dreaming of the topical paradise she'll be visiting soon. The humidity, the exotic food, yes, high wicom beckons. Toby cannot understand how Pip would rather show her father plans for a new cow trackway than bump ugly with him, but surely as Toby seems to also have a one-track mind, it can't be that tricky to grasp. Tony and Ed had a stimulating couple of hours browsing Hornhub in the kitchen with the curtains drawn, and they trotted off to the market with some magic beans and bought some calves. I'm not really sure how Ed, who has no money and has sold his land, now has got enough money to buy three cows and some land to put them on, but I do tend to switch off when Ed starts chumtering on about milk prices. The Ruth and Heather storyline has got even more frustrating. David only ever opens his mouth to wedges of the real welly in it, and all the while I'm jumping up and down yelling "Get her a carer or mover into Brockfield! Shut up! Shut up!" Meanwhile, Carolina Oliver are still going all misty-eyed about their escape to Keantishir. I am starting to get very skeptical about this. It was when she said "hot tub". My experience of Tuscan villas, although more limited than I would like, is that the electricity regularly goes off for no apparent reason leaving you falling down flights of stone steps and struggling with moths the size of light aircraft. And the pool is cleaned once a week by a sullen-looking woman in a headscarf who gives it the once over with a tea strainer. I think hot tub is pushing it. If she mentions helipad next week, we'll know the stirlings have been had, and we'll try and get a message to them before the Nigerian prince's cotton on. The end! Oh, that is a triumph this week. He read well done, well done. Thank you very much. Mmm. So, are you going to stop brushing up on your Italian? Oh, they're not going to go, are they? Well, there's not even, but there's that, but then also there's the opera, and Jim, and Auntie Cardboard, and Hootie Jill are all going to be brushing up on their Italian for that as well. There's a proper Italian theme coming just around the corner in Ambridge. Yeah, which is making me worried that they're going to get something ridiculous like Gino de Campo is going to come and open the flipping village shop or something. Bonjour, no! [LAUGHTER] Come and stay. [LAUGHTER] Duvé, the shortbread, yes. [LAUGHTER] No, it's going to be like a room with a view. So are you your bedecker. Oh. Mipiache. [LAUGHTER] Did you watch Room with a View in the '80s? No. With Elizabeth Bonham Carter. No, Elizabeth Bonham Carter. No. Helena Bonham Carter. No. Trolling around in olive groves and Julian. I said no five times. I know, but I don't watch Marvel. It doesn't stop you talking about it. That's not true. But what? I don't stop. You've definitely seen a superhero movie. Oh, yeah. It's been on. There you go. That doesn't count. Anyway. Carry on. Should we do the calls? No, I want to discuss stuff. What can we discuss? I don't know. What should I discuss? Let's do the calls then. Do you think, though, that this Tuscan thing is legit? So really, really care. It hasn't really touched on me, to be honest with you. It's kind of just been like burbling away in the background. I'm more interested in the descent of Kenton, which I think I completely, some podcasts ago, got that completely right and said Kenton did notice his fault. And it's all kind of self-loathing and frustration that he, you know, he is messed up yet again. And he said as much on Friday's show. This week was basically the Kenton and Heather Pette show, wasn't it? Absolutely. There wasn't a lot that was going on. Though, David, that will give you some credit here when you have talked about how close David is to his mother. And it's slightly unnatural. And because of his relationship with his mother, I was somewhat taken aback with his kind of, well, you know, Heather's not coming here. She can't come here. You haven't thought about this. Absolutely. He hadn't thought about it because she's in the middle of a crisis. She hadn't thought about the, you know, the minutia of how it would work. But something needs to be done. And I was somewhat taken aback by his response. So it was kind of, he did kind of let himself down a bit there, didn't he? Because it was just a kind of a, oh, what, you mean, this is going to impact on me? Oh, ah, no one mentioned that. You know, there was a, and then she very cleverly said, first of all, I didn't think it was going to be just me that was going to be looking after her. Yes. And I thought, yes, you've tweaked him, haven't you? Mrs. Mm. No. He didn't just let himself down. He let down the David Archer Appreciation Society on Facebook. It was not his finest hour. Absolutely not. But why don't we nip over to the phone lights and see what other people have got to say about this week's goings on. Hello, Ambridge 3962. Greetings all. Andrew Horn here. Lot to get through this week. Wondering about the fair brethren and why they chose to go into geese. And I think the clue might have been in Lucy's monologue where she was talking about pips to one in, in Gosling, marshalling or whatever it was. And I just wondered whether it was Toby's, Toby was an expert in gooseing. And that's what led him towards geese. Who knows with them. Another one, this investigation into the fertility of the cattle and what's been going on in the system. I really hope it does lead back to Stefan and Colvergate because Rob needs to dive for something worthy and not just filling with some, some files. And staying with Mr. Tichner, the reasons to hate Rob number 839 is we've been robbed. We've been robbed of the word "wob" because it is now daddy. And just finally coming back to this point about Adam and his change of financial structure, I think we're all actually much closer than people think. Yes, I agree. It should be bonus related pay and a high element of it. But maybe just stick him on the minimum wage or something. I just think like with a spoon it was too big and drastic a step. Even Royfield was saying that there should be some sort of tailing step change. So I think we're all in the same place. But what has occurred to me is that the reason we're approaching it differently is where we start from. So Cosmo, if I can speak on his behalf and myself are probably in the more traditional employment workspace where Royfield, you're an entrepreneur. So you come at it from projects which are all risk based. So that's your comfort zone. Those of us who are in traditional employment start at the other end. And really that's just my ramblings for the week. Cheers, bye. Rob needs to get caught out for something worthwhile, not just getting caught out for fiddling spreadsheets. I agree. It would be very, very annoying if he gets fired from Barrow Farm for defrauding, making up spreadsheets or fiddling with them. In actual fact he's shoved Stefan up the culvert. Yes, that would be extremely annoying because we want him to get caught for something big, don't we? We want it to be prison or possibly death. But either way, not just asking around with a spreadsheet. He's not going anywhere though, is he? Let's face it. He's too much of an instigator and a provocation point for the village for him to go because he's too valuable in that as a sort of an agitator. Well, there will be a point of crisis when he gets drummed out of the village and then either Helen will go with him or she'll be left distraught and bereft in the village and then he'll be some returning character, Allah, horrible wooly. Because he's obviously going to knock her up before he leaves, that is definite. So then he will have legitimate reason to return. Every now and then there will be booze and hisses whenever he turns up. Did you hear that manipulation though from Helen? What's it like Helen? What's it like to hold your own child? And I thought, shut up, stop, try to force her into getting pregnant, she's not one of your bloody cows. Anyway, and the next caller agrees. Wait a minute, have we moved up Andrew Horn? Yeah, no, we're still on Andrew Horn. Oh, okay, you're just saying that Scarlet Sparrow agrees. Yes, Scarlet Sparrow agrees. Scarlet Sparrow, one of your new recruit. Well, it's about time at New Recruit, don't you think? But anyway, let's just talk about Andrew Horn because he talks about the deal, doesn't he? Oh yes, he said that because you're entrepreneurial, I think you and I, I actually agree with him to a certain extent because you and I are used to not having a secure income, aren't we? What is an income? Yeah, it's when more of it comes in than goes out. Apparently, that's what I've been told. Right, you know what, I've never experienced one myself, but I'll let you know. Right now, I am the living embodiment of Greece, who are you? Oh dear. Yes, and he says that we are, we just went, yeah, well, what's wrong with that? Of course you should risk your whole, you know, your whole income and livelihood on an idea, because we do that fairly regularly. But we said for him and Cosmo, he said for him and Cosmo who are, you know, more of the sort of red you pairing wage slaves, less red you pairing, it's very obvious about David Knobs. He said that to us is kind of just unimaginable that you just lose all your income and have to start against something. What about your pension? What about your company car? What about it? So yes, what's a pension? I don't know. It's you have to have one before you can go to a garden centre. I think that's the thing. I'm not sure. I think that's the book. Anyway. Sorry. I thought Mr Horn was extremely perceptive, though you can tell it's a consummate kind of kind of diplomat, because he says, even though we start off from different places, we end up not too far apart. And yes, I hadn't thought about that, Mr Horn, but you are right. It's where we start off as to what colours are perceptions, whether this is a good deal or not. However, I think that these script writers believe that it is a bad deal, because Ian is the voice of moderation, isn't he? And whatever comes out of Ian's mouth is absolutely the truth. And this is the way that they think. And Ian said, it's a bad deal. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, now, can we talk about somebody that likes me? Oh, I know you two. Scarlet Sparrow here. I got a couple of theories. First one is teaching up. I think he's going to convince Alan that he should leave very fun, because they're so horrible to him. And she'll be in and try and find him a place with that and Tony on their farm, which he will be really horrible when he kills her, because then he'll have his feet under the table, push Tom out and take over the farm. Oh, very nicely. And Adam and Brian, I think they're going to have a really big falling out, and Adam's going to skip off to hungry, and that will leave the field clear for Charlie Barber's red sheet, who will then start working for Brian and make a play on Ian. Very unpleasant. Anyway, I hope I'm wrong, but if I'm not, I get Tony. Can I be one of your girdies? Could you've not had any girdies for a while? I might think I'd be good at it. Anyway, well done, you two. Keep it all up. Thank you very much. Scarlet Sparrow signing out. She thinks that Helen is going to be persuaded by Rob to leave Barrow farm. No, that's wrong. Yeah, that Helen is going to say, "Oh, they're all being horrible to me, Helen." And she's going to say, "Well, why don't you leave then Rob?" And then he will take over as manager of Bridge Farm. And then when the collapse comes, when Rob reveals his true colours, he will actually have shares in the Archer family, and they will not be able to get shot of him as easily as all that. I think that's absolutely a very likely storyline, and I really want to be keenly anticipated if it's going to be incredibly stressful, because I don't like dangling storylines. As we know, I just like everything bad people go to prison or get killed. That's it. That's what I like. Yes, and they have set up that. That's very plausible, because they already have set up the fact that Tom is a little bit wary of him, because remember when Tony got gored by the ball and Tom had to come back and Rob the gig bag had ordered some unorganic feed, hadn't he? And Tom says, "What the hell are you doing?" However, something just occurred to me whilst that thought came into my noggin. Was that Rob and Tom were in communication whilst Tom was in the great country that is Canada, sorry. And there's absolutely no reference to the fact that in inverted commas, they had some back channel line of communication, so they must have been friendly to some degree. There's absolutely no mention of that. But it was just Rob, Tom was in crisis and would have taken direction from absolutely anybody, and Rob just gave him a way out, didn't he? He gave him an address, he gave him. Yeah, but sure, but that was pretty significant. The revelation that Rob had actually been talking to Tom, and there was no when Tom came back, "Oh yeah, thanks for that." They really helped me out, nothing at all. Their only interaction that I remember was Tom basically saying, "You shouldn't have ordered that feed, how cheap it was, it's not organic." But anyway, that was some months ago, so let's move on. Scarlett Sparrow, you're in, you're in the team, membership will be sent to you in the post with instructions of what to do. Lyman. Hell, I don't understand. It's Shokobear here calling from U.I. Yokoland, Kenton. Oh God. I mean, it's like, the way that I feel about Kenton is, you know, when you're searching for something on your computer, and it's like, "Search sympathy for Kenton, searching, searching far not found, I just got no sympathy for him." You know, I think if you look back at Kenton's history, there have been moments where he has been an absolute man child. Then, you know, he married Jolene, and I thought, "Yeah, he's kind of grown up. He's doing the business as a husband." Well, that sounds a bit rude, actually, doesn't it? But you know what I mean? But now, something's gone wrong. It's entirely as thought. You should never, never have spent that money, because, you know, if somebody said, "Look, I'm going to give you loads of money, but it depends on this deal going through." There's no way I'd spend that money until I knew that the deal had gone through. It just stands to reason. Or is it just me? I don't know. So, I really hope they don't do this kind of downward spiral, Kenton redemption thing, because I don't know, perhaps I'm just evil. I've just got no sympathy for him at all. However, on the bright side, really loving Rob, getting kind of, you know, hot under the collar, about what's my favourite character, Charlie. Oh, I've got to love a bit of Charlie, haven't you? Actually, that sounded a bit dodgy as well, didn't it? You know what I mean? Kenton is not doing the business as a husband, then realise that sounded a bit rude. But if Jolene had any sense, she wouldn't be doing the business with him anyway, if he stopped washing, and he's this sort of milked, milked-in, self-pity, and ugh. She did, though, bizarrely, bless her. Sound actually quite sad that he wasn't, that he didn't come to bed early on the night of his birthday, because she wanted to clearly give him a little birthday present, or some descriptions. But I wouldn't want to go anywhere near him. I wouldn't want to go with a barge pole, or anyone else's barge pole. I feel somewhat sorry for Kenton, because, and this is where we need Witherspoon to accurately and professionally describe someone's descent into depression. But Kenton has always been this up-party person, but underlying Kenton has always been the sense of frustration, as I've said before, in terms of he wants to be strived the world, he wants to be the court jester, he wants to command the room, he's the chief entertainment officer, all of those things. Just a microphone. Absolutely. And he feels somewhat stymied and frustrated that he hasn't attained what he believes he should have. You know, he isn't the rock of the family. And this is, yeah, and so, for him to come so tantalizingly close to having his hands on, near his stomach, I don't know, the best part of a million quid, and to be able, in his own words, to be the man you always thought he would be. I do understand. It's not just self-pity, but it's going through your life, and then constantly making mistakes, and there comes a point when you are, because he's in his mid to late 50s now, when it's just one mistake too far. So I absolutely do understand, on a human level, why he's taken this so badly, and he knows it's his fault. And I thought Jolene calling him and basically saying, "Just come home" was actually really quite touching. And I think this has been written quite well, quite well now, because, you know, we all have dreams, and you just see that Kenton just thinks, you know what, I'm just an arse, you know, and I'm not adding to anybody's life. But there's Maryle, who he doesn't see. He's got this great wife, Jolene, and he just feels inadequate. And I just felt, I thought yesterday's episode was absolutely lovely. Yesterday's been Friday's, was absolutely lovely, and I really did kind of sympathize with somebody who's not just having a mid-life crisis, but, and this is where I said that, you know, we really need our resident brain doctor to really weigh in here. I've always noticed that people who are incredibly up and ebullient, always have crashing down, gently. And so, for me, this is incredibly accurate and real, what kind of what's happening to Kenton. I think, can we play Miss Dusty Substances call here? Hello, it's Dusty Substances here, the wrong sort of listener, and I'm afraid I'm really, really angry listener tonight. It's Thursday, and I've just heard Kenton go out on the piss with Toby, and I'm absolutely seething. Over the last 15 decades, Kenton hasn't been perfect, of course, but he's been loyal to his family and friends, and he's been good-natured and fun, caring, considerate when family or friends have been in trouble, and he's been optimistic. And currently, the Kenton we're getting at the moment is none of those things. Normal Kenton wouldn't be aggressive to his family. He wouldn't go off without telling Jolene where he was. He wouldn't say, even if he was drunk, that he was going to disappear off around the world and rejoin the merchant, navy, or whatever it was, and this is all totally preposterous. My only theory is that Kenton is on the verge of a mental health crisis, but I'm not sure I actually believe it, because over the past year, characters and actors have done the personality equivalent of a handbrake turn and become unrecognizable, or all sound the same, and it's absolutely not good enough. Did the program learn nothing from the reaction to Nigel coming off the roof? Clearly not, they don't care. And tonight, I truly wished I could walk away from a program that I have loved since I was a baby in the 1950s, and I can't walk away because I'm addicted, but just now, I truly wish I wasn't. And I'm really sorry to rant, but I'm absolutely heartbroken by what is happening to our lovely program. I've never heard a caller who actually sounds on the verge of tears, and she really does, because she is so upset by the way that they're writing Kenton at the moment, because he's always been her favourite character. She's all liked him ever since he came back, and she just feels that this is sort of a betrayal, really, of the Kenton that we know and love, and that she described it very beautifully as a personality handbrake turn of many. Ooh, I'm about to get stoned by a wasp, go away! Sorry. I, everybody knows I love me a bit of dusty, and I was honoured to be sat next to the Dum de Dum de Dum de Dum, and I think on the odd occasion, I might even be like brushed a shoulder, because it were that, you know, cheeked by jowl and sat around the table. But I couldn't disagree with her more, because you can't have characters who are just one note, that there is a legitimate kind of character arc, story arc, and then a character arc. And, you know, I refer you, good listener, to really what I said before Dusty's call, in that this, I would say, is incredibly consistent with somebody who is a party jester, who is the life and soul of the party, that they will have, you can't be up all of the time, and they will have crashing down. And just because Kenton hasn't been, hasn't had such a crisis before, in terms of storylines where he's taken things completely on the chin, doesn't mean that he didn't have this kind of coming. And when you look at his history of broken relationships, because actually, he, you know, he always talks about Mary or she always gets mentioned and she comes over, but he isn't the father that he would like to have been to her. And he didn't have the relationship with the mother that you really wanted, everybody else, you know, Meryl's kind of fond of him and his ex partners fond of him, but there is always this sense of loss that he hasn't actually been stable and secure. And he came so close. So I think this is incredibly consistent, and actually, is a very good examination of the human psyche. You know, you could, you know, if Kenton was always Mr, as you said, Mr microphone, let's get the megaphone out. Let's, you know, that would become incredibly boring. You know, Kenton need the character of Kenton to be believable as a radical human being. We needed something like this to happen. It just surprised us that it happened now, but absolutely, it's consistent and makes completely not a sense. You know, Ditto, to a lesser degree, my, you know, I think the listener's surprise is the way that David has handled the idea of Heather Pet coming back into Ambridge. But actually, the seeds of that have been laid because you and many of the listeners said it was a little bit weird how close he is to his mother. So much so, that, you know, that he can't really understand Ruth's relationship with her mother because he's consumed by his relationship with his own. When his mother had a very similar circumstance, you know, okay, she wasn't physically incapacitated, but she was scared, being a gleeve. And he said, okay, all right, mom, you know, move in. And then the similar things happened with his wife's mother, with his mother-in-law, and his first reaction was, well, she can't come here. You know, you know, we do need, you know, none of us are incredibly consistent, whether it's to do with our, our outlooks on life, with our politics, our ethics and whatever, we all have these kind of inconsistencies. And that's what makes us human beings. I think it's incredibly consistent. And I'm sorry, Dusty, you know, I love you. Big is his tear, but you're wrong. Fighting talk, Dusty, fighting talk. We can actually pop JoJo Sexyheels's call in there as well. Hi there, Dunty-dum. It's JoJo Sexyheels here. Just a quick call, really. I was really, really thrilled to hear Jolene giving Kenton a bit of a telling off and telling him to grow up. Basically, more of this from Jolene is required. Kenton needs a bloody good shake, a kick up the backside, and finally, a slap around the back of the knees from his mother. And finally, he might then wake up, smell the coffee, and realize that all the things that have gone wrong have been his own bloody fault. Hi, Lucy. Hi, Raphael. This is Isaac Q. Calling from Winnipeg. I don't have a top five for you this week, but I just finished catching up with the archers for the week. And I really, really enjoyed it this week. I think the writing was tremendous, which is maybe a little surprising because really all we had this week was a whole bunch of unpleasantness. We had Charlie being unpleasant to Rob and Rob being unpleasant to Helen, Ruth being unpleasant to Heather and then to David and Hazel being unpleasant to everybody. Kenton, surprisingly being unpleasant to Robert of all people. Linda and Susan being unpleasant to each other. The thing is, this week, I really cared about these people and their situations in spite of the unpleasantness. Even Kenton, I think I felt for him for the first time in a long time. I mean, we're so used to hearing him tell others how David ruined his life, but when he was drunk with Toby, we got a glimpse of the real feelings underneath. You know, Kenton knows that it's him. Kenton knows this is all on him, and he does low themselves. And it's really just him puffing his chest out when he's going on about David. So, yeah, I have nothing but good things to say about this week in spite of the fact that it was just all a bunch of unpleasantness. Hurry for unpleasantness. Because yesterday, when he had his big meltdown yesterday, he actually stopped talking about David, didn't he? He didn't say, "My brother, it was all me. I am an idiot. I can't believe I've done this." And poor old Jolene stuck with me, sort of. Yeah, yeah, I called it weeks ago. Did you? Yeah, I did. Oh, yeah, you did. Clever old you, eh? Brain of Einstein. Yeah. Oh, and Isaac. Oh, and Isaac. That's me. Hello, damnty damn. It's Mrs. Bentos here. Well, the honeymoon seems to be well and truly over. How quickly did Titchinob turn? From the minute he got that sparkly ring on Helen's finger. He seems to feel there's no further need to bother with any kind of pleasantries now. He's legally bound his chattel, which apparently also includes Hemway as well as Helen. Even I felt sorry for him this week. His mother seems to have completely lost the plot and just spends her time wafting around in a sort of delirious haze of misplaced joy, framing her gas bills and groveling every time Rob loses his temper with her, which seems to be like a lot at the moment. And all Henry seems to get out of the deal is a toy boat, which clearly will get smashed by Rob in a fit of peak. And Dad, who patently feels very little need to pretend he cares at all about him anymore, which is really horrible. It's quite uncomfortable listening at the moment, and I wonder when or if Rob will properly lose his temper with Henry, and then what will Helen do? We'll have to wait and see. Even Charlie seemed more bothered about Henry and his biscuits more than Rob did, although I think perhaps we found the way through to Charlie's heart. It appears to be baking. Maybe he's a bit over excited this week with the return of the Great British Bake Off. What those of us who are on team, Charlie need to bear in mind. We're only going to win him over if we're good at baking, so I should be alright because I'm quite good. I'm throwing the gauntlet down there to Yoko Bear. I think we should have a little bit of a bake off and see who's going to win Charlie's affections. But anyway, yes, keep up the good work. Thanks very much. Bye. Mrs Bentos says the honeymoon is over for Rob and Helen. She says she's feeling agitated listening to Helen talking, listening to Rob talking to Henry and also Helen now prioritising Rob over Henry, which is unpleasant to listen to. However, on a lighter note, she wants to have a biscuit bake off with Yoko Bear to see who can win the heart of Charlie. Now, I am all for biscuit bake offs for imaginary characters that you have crushes on or whatever, as long as Royfield and I get to test them. Is there a difference between an imaginary character and a real character? No. Right, just checking. So, yeah, I'm all for that and send them in. Royfield and I will be, I will be Mary, I will be Paul Hollywood and Royfield can put his blonde wig on and be Mary Berry and we will test the bake and talk about soggy bottoms endlessly. I think it'd be much more realistic if I... Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous to your contracts, they said, "What the f*ck are you talking about? You insane Hollywood f*ck?" So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes in details. Kenny's family healthcare benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. With two kids, he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's on-the-job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that too. That led to a bigger paycheck, so he was able to get his youngest son a... Drummo, please. Drumset. Next up, Drumlessons. Learn more at about Amazon.com. Amazon. Everyday Better. Need a holiday gift that will keep her sparkling all year long? Blue Nile, the original online jeweler, has experts on hand 24/7 who can help you find the perfect piece. Beyond that, Blue Nile makes the gifting experience easier than ever, with guaranteed free shipping and returns as well as a wide assortment of jewelry of the highest quality. At the best price, right now, get 30% off jewelry at bluenile.com. That's bluenile.com for 30% off, bluenile.com. Where's Paul Hollywood? What with you? Because of your glittering blue eyes and beaming smile. I think our gender is a much more aligned for a start-off. And surely, I'm the eye candy of this podcast. Oh, yes. Well, that's true. Yes, OK, you can be from Hollywood. I think I'm probably more superkins anyway. Are you? Yeah. I laugh like superkins, I've discovered. Anyway, enough about that. With a spoon. Greetings, Lucy Royfield and all dumpty-dimmers around the world. With a spoon and Angus Haggis here, we're currently basking in beautiful summer weather. 30 to 32 degrees by your temperature scale and sunny days on end right now. So, this weekend average reminded me of the old '70s disco song "More More More." More of Rob's deviousness, more of Toby's adolescent behavior, more of Kenton's depression, paranoia and alcohol abuse, and throw in for good measure more of Ruth's whining. These are all pretty obvious topics of discussion, so I'll just bring up a couple of related issues. Once again, the residents of Ambridge seemed pretty reluctant to seek out professional help. Now, Jolene did confide in Linda that she's at the end of her tether, and she thought that Kenton needed to see a doctor. There's a start. But what was Linda's response? Feng Shui therapy is the answer to what Ayl's a chap. Then post-bender, Kenton did admit to Toby that he was feeling quite desperate. Toby, of course, had nothing useful to say, but what else would you expect there? By the way, we still don't know what happened in Brighton, but I imagine that alcohol was involved. Regarding Ruth, though her whining sets one's teeth on edge, she is dealing with a real-world issue. Many of my patients are struggling with similar sets of circumstances as their parents are living to older ages, but with many infirmities. Then again, we all probably threw up our hands and exclaimed with exasperation. Finally, when Ruth figured out that she has to move her mother down to average, whether that means at the farm or in an assisted living facility, we'll leave that fight to Ruth and David. Regarding Rob, well, as Helen's glowed due to the fact that she is pregnant as well as married, did Rob fiddle with their means of birth control? Will Rob whack little Henry in a fit of temper? Will Sherlock Charlie find the proverbial bodies? We will eventually find all of it out in this very slow-moving story. So two lessons from me from this week. I learned what a tabard was, and after months of being too shy to admit my ignorance, I finally learned, after I asked Handsome Husband, what the Buddha Ka of Borchester referred to, the British education of this American continues. So our time is up for this week. It's with a spoon and Angus Haggis signing off until next time. [MUSIC] Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling to salads and scrambled eggs. Message. [MUSIC] Oh, go away, sorry, this wasp won't leave me alone. I can hear it. Go away. This is what happens when you record in rural areas. You get attacked by the wildlife. It's all very quiet out there. It's absolutely heard that, you know. It's great. I know it's flying around the flipping. It's gone, it's gone out the window. This is amazing audio. If I close the window behind it. All we need now is my children and all the dogs to come back, and then all the latch doors to go clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk. With a spoon. Yes. It's been 32 degrees there. And he said, "Bye, on our temperature scale." But with a spoon, I have to point out, British temperature scales and sometimes do not go up to 32 degrees. We hover around 20, and then hurtle back down again into the safety of our opaque tights and thick woolly scarves. He reckons that Rob has been, well, he hasn't yet, or may be about to figgle with his and Helen's memes of birth control. I don't know what to think about his and Helen's. Probably he's got Helen using some medieval form of, you know, flipping lambs bladder or something. Lambs bladder diaphragm that she has to rinse out under the tap. Ugh. Yes. I don't even want to think about what goes on in that bedroom. Really, really not. Especially because everyone keeps saying about how glowing she is. I just keep the good. Lucy. Yeah. Are you the type of woman that when you've had a rather enjoyable role around? I don't like where this goes. It goes off and tells people around how enjoyable your role around. Absolutely not. Do you always keep your cards very close to your chest when it comes to things like that? I keep everything very close to my chest. I can't help it with a chest this size. I, you know, people who talk about it a lot are generally not doing it. That's what I think. People are always making nudge nudge wink wink wink wink wink wink. So jokes. I think, oh, you don't know. But she's not. But she's not though. I really just find Helen Archer a ridiculously fascinating character. And I would like to extend to Mr. Witherspoon the opportunity to give us a proper full analysis of her. Because I just think she's absolutely happy. She's happy and she's like bouncing off the walls happy. And as far as she's concerned, she's got everything she ever wanted. And she just can't hold it in. And that's what this is just a symptom of. Yeah. You know, though, I don't see why they weren't necessarily having good special cuddles beforehand, really. I appreciate, you know, there is wealth. It's just got married. So, you know, but it's nice if that would be in living together for the last 18 months. Yeah. For however long it is. Yeah. But hey, Mr. Witherspoon, I'll put it to you as our resident head doctor. Can you just... Well, you know, it's weird, isn't it? Because you never... You don't know how anyone else... I'm trying to say this tactfully and I can't. You don't know. It's like Tennessee Williams said about you never know what goes on between the woman and the man when in the dark. And you don't... I like it with the lights on. No, but of course you do. None of us know how anyone else feels, what other couples do. You kind of think you're in the right ballpark, so to speak, but, you know, really. And we sort of like it that way. That's how the whole thing functions that is essentially private. And Helen just has... I think she... I think there is something slightly off kilter with Helen in that she will quite often say the unsayable. She doesn't have... She's lacking in empathy massively. Herself, I think. And I think she doesn't understand society's rules. I think that's a bit of a blunt statement. I don't think she's necessarily lacking in empathy. But Helen is felt isolated from the whole kind of flow and river of kind of human relationships. And as you... So, memorably and graphically said in the last podcast that the two relationships that she's had, the multiple ones, you know, they've been with men that were highly damaged. And it's got to be a reason why she's attracted to these types of men. And yes, we greatly wanted to fix. With Rob, it's kind of something else. She's attracted to him being an unreconstructed man. The hunt will probably come through next. I think I'm joking. It will go on for hours, just talk over. Well, I did think to myself last week when I called Rob an alpha male. He's not an alpha male. He wants to be an alpha male. But what he is, he's an unreconstructed man who hides it first off. But you scratch the surface very, very lightly and he has the sexist kind of patriarchal attitudes to women. You know, oh, hello. What? It's just a dog. It just seems to seem to be answering my point. And I just, I can't concentrate because I'm pretty tall. Theo, shut up. Nope, that's made a worse. Sorry. The startling thing for me is that Helen has this, you know, progressive, liberal, feminist mother. And then it's absolutely attracted to the fact that Granny has given them £10,000. It felt like a dowry and that is romantic. This is the reason why I want somebody to explain to me this woman. Because on the one hand, and again, it's this kind of inconsistencies of character on the one hand. She actually does want to be running the shop and does a good job. It's nice that she's incompetent. She's actually very good. She understands the detail of retail and that if the right produce are displayed in a certain way, it up sales. And things need to be a ship sharp and Bristol fashion, so to speak. So she's very good. She is competent. She has skills. But it just feels so deficient when it comes to being in a relationship. And I love it. She's just so fascinating. Yes, she is hugely annoying, but fascinating. Hi, it's Ms. McCity. I am Team Charlie. Words I never thought I'd say, but words which were provoked by a blind spirit posting an article on the Dom2Come website. However, I say I'm Team Charlie with a small caveat. It's on the basis that he leaves Adam alone. It is not cool to be chasing another man's man, however subtly you think you're doing it. And Adam, it is not cool to be forgetting that you're supposed to be committed to Ian. Chris from Brittany. He's a first-time e-mailer, but has listened to every episode of Dom2Dumb. And has been listened to the archer since 1978 when his roommate at university got him interested. It was my fault, Chris. I didn't read this out last week when it was sort of relevant in terms of EdgBaston. He said, "In the summer, he plays for Central Brittany Cricket Club. It was great to hear that Adam Ian and Charlie were going to the test match at EdgBaston for a day on Saturday. It was peculiar to hear them talking about it afterwards and how good the hospitality was, even though in real life the test match was finished on Friday. I remember going to see Brian and Sheila do an archer's Q&A evening in Burton on Trent about 15 years ago and commenting on how they always have alternative scenes up their sleeve or call actors in for re-records if national events change. Clearly this one slipped through the net. He says, does that mean he knows that Jacqueline Beto also listens from Brittany? And he said, "If she's close, perhaps we can meet for an archer's chinwag or jointly host your proposed Dom2Dumb get together in Brittany. They're halfway between Medrinjak and Pierre May. Perhaps you can put his in touch with each other." Well, I think we should. Yes. Mm-hmm. We will facilitate that. If we're going to do this France thing, it's obviously next year. So I'm going to speak to Jacqueline this week and we'll most carefully and lightly pencil maybe something in for next year. But let's just push that to one side. Okay. There's also been another Dom2Dumb kind of meetup this week. In Essex, did you know this Lucy? No. Paul, Charles Wilkins and the lovely last one. Oh, yes, I saw a picture, yes. Such a pair of lovelies then, Pierre. [LAUGHTER] Thank you for the picture, Paul. And he's such an old gent. You know, he's just what a beautiful human being. And he just wants to help out and do so much with Dom2Dumb. And really kind of, again, just like to thank him for not only picking up Margaret and bringing it to the Dom2Dumb do's some weeks ago, but also for his work kind of behind the scenes. And, you know, he's very much a part of the gang. And just thought I'd just say, you know, hello and thank you again. Mm. Now, when it comes down to, I've got a couple of things to say. Now, I'm presuming that because the test match was won so quickly on the Friday, and it was unforeseen, they just couldn't call in the actors to rewrite that. You know, it's one thing, because I know that there's been football matches, like when England were in the World Cup, et cetera. And then you've got like Tony going, oh, God, we lost against Italy. You know, you can literally phone that in down the lines, you know? Yeah. And they could, you know, they could even have alternate kind of lines there. Because when Princess Anna died, we just had Pat going, "Ooh, isn't she awful?" Yeah. And then we all carried on. But maybe this was on a Friday and it was just two, you know, two last minute and that to go, you know, go with the fact that, you know, because actually it was a bit of an integral part of the storyline as well, wasn't it? You know, the Ian is trying. He realized he's that something is up with Adam and Charlie, not that, you know, there is this kind of love thing going on. But there is some kind of distance and he's trying to show Adam that, you know, he's making an effort and kind of part of his world, et cetera. Hence, he went to the cricket the week before. But moving on from that, I've been to Edge Baston and the hospitality. It's awesome, Lucy. I went with my dad about 50. Oh, my God. It's almost 20 years ago now. It's invited by the Birmingham Post and Mail to have corporate hospitality. I couldn't even tell you who Warrick you were playing. It was so irrelevant, Lucy. I got there with my dad. And it, and this is before they done Warrick your cricket ground, but it was lovely then. And it's a beautiful cricket ground. So there were some men in whites doing something on this green bit of grass. And we sat down in his corporate box. Oh, the cricket court hitting it with their cricket rackets. Exactly. Yeah. Listen, I love cricket, but I just was not bothered with what was going on there. The feast that was laying there. So we got there about a half ten and said, "Would you like something for mid-morning, sirs?" And so they fed us. And then just as my dad let out a little bit of a burp. And then undid his trousers, you know, because he was just like, "Oh, God, son, that was lovely." He said, "It's lunch now. Can you take all lunch?" It's like when you want a really short BA flight. And they just keep, you just pack any way your breakfast seats. And then they say, "Coffee, and now lunch." And you're like, "What?" I'm still awash with cracker crumbs. What are you talking about? It was bonkers. So who has we finished that? It says, "Oh, you know, take all this for lunch." And the dad says, "Well, son, this is free, so we need to feed up." Right? Which time he's taken his trousers completely off and hung them over the back of the chair? Yes. So we had this lunch, and I couldn't, you know, this three-course lunch, right? So, and as the lunch has just gone down, right, and the cricketers come back out, you know, and dad says, "We really should actually go and look and see what's happening." As we walk out, somebody says, "Afternoon, tea." [LAUGHTER] My dad longed to me, says, "Son, are they trying to kill us?" And I said, "Of course." He said, "It is free." [LAUGHTER] So we tried back in the afternoon and say, "And Lucy and I kid you not." That was the earliest supper I had ever eaten in my life. It must have been about four o'clock of noon. So my dad just went, "No, no, no more, no more." It was the most beautiful day. And the sun was out. And as I said, what you were playing with somebody, but it was totally irrelevant. And the hospitality there was just phenomenal. Thank you Birmingham Post and Mail for 20 years on for today. [LAUGHTER] You know, inviting my father and I down there. It was such a great day, great day. Have you come to the week now? We have. And the wasps back, just to let you know, update you on-- I told you to close the window behind it. But the window makes a lot of noise as well. The window makes more noise than the wasp. Right, the wasps temporarily bugged off somewhere. So I'll crack on. It was Glenn Fullalove who said, "Well, we'll be talking about why we listen to the archers and, you know, are there any time you can't listen?" And he said, "One of the reasons for me is that from time to time the story mirrors what's happening in your own life. Being of a similar age to David and Ruth, we, my wife and I, are going through the aging parent process. And the Heather Pet story is there for one of those stories. As I'm sure it is for a lot of listeners. There's a lot in this story I can relate to. We have had the David and the "I must get in the car now and go" moments. Warfield said last week on the "Dumb to Dumb" podcast that your parents don't age gradually, but go down in steps, which is absolutely right. What happens is that something happens to take them down a step but their convinced they'll recover back to their previous level. Heather appears to be of this mind as a child challenging this conviction of recovery is seen by parents as restricting their independence. It's a bit like dealing with a teenager in reverse. It is therefore a long process to get them to change anything in their lives, even quite minor things that would actually improve them. If we just seen this exception, there won't be 100% ever again. It is also true and inevitable that you see things differently if it is your parent rather than your spouses. And then he goes on to talk about if they did move Heather into Brookfield. He said, "I think this would be a disaster. I can just imagine Heather getting up early one or to morning. Struggling to take Ruth a coffee while she's milking and falling over in the yard." He said, "It would be interesting, though, to see how David would react if it was Jill going through a decline." Well, I think we know how he reacts, don't we? Yeah. She got spooked about the, yeah, and at Gleeb and you know... I can't quite understand. I live with us. And sorry, I can't quite understand whether we are supposed to think that Heather Pet is suffering from dementia or whether she's just becoming physically incapacitated. Because she seems to me, to be perfectly aware of what's going on, she's just not accepting it. And when Ruth said, "Oh, you know, one minute, she seems finer. The next minute, she's upset and everything." But that's not dementia, is it? That's just a reaction to the actual circumstances she's living in. No, you know what? It could be in the whole thing somewhat kind of ill-defined and it's not as if we're really hearing Heather Pet either of us. No, no. Everything's through this filter of the odd telephone call then, you know, dispatches back to Brookfield. So it could well be that it is early onset of, well, not even early. It's not early onset. Go away! This bloody wasp, honestly. It could well be that it's dementia or it could just well be that she's just, you know, physically now infirm. Yeah. But, you know, still got a fact there's a battle, but it's just frustrated with the whole situation. However, I completely think that Glenn is right. You could see that because she's, you know, she has been a naval woman. And... That was my mum. Would you like a cup of coffee, Roy Finn? Oh, yes, please. Camp. We haven't got any camp, have we? No milk, though. No milk, please. No milk. He says... Black. Black. He likes his coffee like he likes himself. Sorry, yes. That is obvious. Thank you very much, mum. I got a biscuit as well. Mmm. Mmm. Right. Yes. Was that it? Have you finished? No. Okay. No. Because she, I think you called her a nice woman before last week, but she's also kind of, she has been independent and active that she will, you know, see it as a duty to try and help out. And you could see, you know, in a cold autumn or winter morning she'd be, you know, going out to the milking parlor with a cup of tea and, you know, fall flat into a cow pat and break a hip. You know, that's absolutely what would happen. Yeah. But I don't see that there is another way around it because she's not quite ready for a home. No. She's not quite ready for a home. She needs interim care, doesn't she? Exactly. And that's kind of getting the care in at home. Yeah. But I think they have, to be fair to them, I think they have discussed it, but it was very expensive. It was something like, was it two grand a week or something like that? David said. What? An awful lot of money. And it is very expensive. I know. I know from a couple of friends. Yes. No. Painful storyline to listen to as well. But just because of there is no nice resolution is there, apart from, you know, Pip giving up her job and moving in or staying, giving up the job, staying with David. Well, Ruth goes, I don't know. Yes. Well, is that call or an email or an email is done? Yes. It's fantabulous. All right. Let's take a quick commercial ITV type break. Hello. I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dunty Dun. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith Cloths are eco-friendly, reusable and washable. And, you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer. Proud sponsors of Dunty Dun. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm? Something comforting. You can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a Dunty Dun mug from the shop at DuntyDum.com? Goes damn lovely. G'day, Dunty Dhammas, Millie Bell here. Roy Field asked, "Which character have you been on a journey with?" All this talk of Team Charlie has got him thinking, "Is there a resident of that ambridge that you once loomed, but now rather like?" For me, it has to be Linda. Back in the 80s, I was not partial to her at all. Now, she's right up there for me. Also, the opposite direction works, too, so we asked you. If your opinion has changed, let us know. Lorna Fitzpatrick used to like Ruth, but she really annoys her now. Rachel Louise used to hate Emma, but she likes her now. She used to like dual Kenton and Ruth, but she hates them all now. Rosie Cross says Linda has such a good heart, can be snobby and gosby, but she really is a gem. And Denise Tomlinson said, "Susan Death, I used to be that irritated by her, but she is so three dimensional and consistently portrayed in love at a bit." I really agree with you, Denise. I must admit, I posted this one. I said, "A dowry. A dowry." I was so taken aback. And Rachel Hannah said, "I'm more worried about the lack of bank account in her name. What assets does Rob have?" Helen's bringing Tang Rand a huge share in the farm and potentially the launch to the party. Good point, Rachel. Andrew White said, "Pat had it right. You have the funniest ideas of what part is romance, Helen. Helen is so hoofed," says Andrew. With a spoon, the 35th says, "At least Helen has held the line about wanting another child at this time, but is a glowing Helen indeed pregnant now. After all, Halrop have been going at it like a pair of teenagers as Helen, overshared with her mother, has Rob sabotaged their means of birth control?" And Peter Mavitt said, "It's like waiting for the big one in San Francisco. I think the worst is yet to come." I also was interested to know if there was ever a time when you just can't listen to the archers. This follows on from the podcast from last week. Dee Leary said, "When the black dog bites me on the arse, I don't want to listen to anything. But I make myself listen to the archers on nougas, and follow on Twitter even if I don't tweet much. Reminds me that there is a place I belong where they miss me if I don't turn up and it makes me feel a bit better." Vicki Berry said, "Any time loads some of the only in James come back into it." Thank God for the fast forward button on the podcast. Peter Mavitt says, "Never always something to look forward to every morning on my way to work and M. Johnson said, 'When they're talking during breakfast, the crunch of toast and slurping makes me have to turn off.' And I must miss somebody. Oh, Rosie Cross said, 'Snogging. When listening through headphones, not me snogging. When the character snogging, thank you for the clarification.' And we also asked the plot predictions for how Kenton's storyline will resolve. Hannah Whitley asked, "Do debt as prisons still exist?" Good question, Hannah. Caro McAdams said, "No idea. He's becoming unrecognizable, but I'd encourage him to run away to see and to never come back." And finally, Vicki Berry says, "It's got to involve reconciliation with David as well, so somehow David fails him out financially. My guess is that it's Kenton's only option, so finally, after much persuading from Jolene, he goes to David Cap in hand. They become reconciled on the surface. David thinks it's all as well, but it leaves Kenton with a seething resentment that brombles on under the surface." Wonderful predicting, everybody. You really are very clever. And we've noticed again and again, I've noticed again a lot of the Facebook pages, how often listeners are right. So it's worth putting out those plot predictions because you sometimes create them and sometimes they're hopelessly wrong, and it's all good fun. So, hope to see you on Facebook this week, hooroo. We is back, and that was Milly Bell, with a roundup of all things on the book of Face. Now, Lucy, why don't you hit us with some action on the Twitters that has happened in the last seven days that has the hashtag #TheArch is somewhere within 140 characters. The Starchers said, "Dear bids, at the end of his heavy tether." Archers listener said, "Perhaps Rob could murder Hazel Woolley, perhaps Rob could murder Hazel Woolley and stuff her in a culvert. A mercy killing." Guess it would be lovely if those two finished each other off in some way. A Bernie guy said, "Pippie's sounding older by the day, she'll have retired before she starts her new job." Commentator said, "Isn't Kenton do his A-level results today?" "Oh no, he's an adult, isn't he?" And my favourite was Hinge Zandal, because people were talking this morning about Caroline and Oliver's dubious trip to Keantashir. Hinge Zandal, this is Tweeter the Week. He said, "Well, they did book it through front." "The boy plane you've got now?" "Yeah, we're near the aerodrome, of course we are." Hinge Zandal said, "Well, they did book it through Grundy's World of Tuscany." Very good. Very good indeed, very good indeed. I've enjoyed this week, Lucy. Sorry about all the noises off from my head. No, no, no, no. That is actually a biplane. It genuinely is. Isn't that what I said? Yes, I know. I'm very impressed that you can tell that just by the noise. Hmm, exactly. You can tell. I've got an if, these things. This week's been stonking. I think we've really helped the understanding of two key archers characters this week with our musings, Lucy. Really? Yeah, Kenton and Helen. And also the dynamic between Ruth and David regarding Heather Peck. I think we've done some good podcasting this week. And if you're a good listener, think we've done some good podcasting too. Why don't you go to www.dumbdidumb.com to log on and tell us what you think of the show. We can do that by going onto the show page and comment and see. And as well as going onto our show page, you can go onto the page of any of our wonderful caller inners and you can review them. Here are two reviews for Catherine Pageant. My New Faith by Roy Fieldbrand. Awesome caller inner, a dry wit with a great delivery. Putting things in our mouths by David Archer. My family and I have tried your recipe for mouth trifle last night, Pip and Josh loved it. We needed another reason to log onto www.dumbdidumb.com. You can do so to buy our merch. This week we had purchases from. Philippa Davey from Devon. And Miss R.E. Crafts from Northumberland who purchased stuff from our shop or store as our North Americans call it. Don't forget you can also go to patreon.com/dumbdumb to support the show for $2. And you can also donate to the show by going to our site and hitting the donate button. Order of John Archer News. Lord Netherborn has had the National Trust in this week so things were a little busy at Netherborn Hall so he hasn't got around to it. Sorry everybody. But okay, here is a plea. I'm all over the place with this. Now, can you email me? If you've been... The Queen doesn't have to do this with the honours list. Bloody hell, I've forgotten who I said. Look, if I have knighted you, if you've got a letter from me saying that I'd knighted you, please drop me text me. Love from Elizabeth II. No, you're right. Well, but the thing is, the Queen doesn't actually not only decide who's going to get a knighthood. No. And then bestow them and then lick the envelopes and post the letters. You know, we're a two-person band and I really admit I'm all over the place with this. And I can't remember who John VI, the 7th and 8th are now. So, right. The first four or five I've got. Right, but the others, it's all a little bit of a rumble. You've got to be confusing. And we ordered a posthumous... We did give a posthumous one, which didn't help. Exactly. It's all over the place. It's all over the place. And I'm trying to pass this off on to Lord Netherborn being somewhat tardy. But it's actually me. If, didn't listen... If you've been awarded an order of John Archer, can you please just call in? Sorry. Email in via the site and just say, right. Give us your name and then what John you are. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, so whatever. Right. And then I will then put that on the page and then it'll all be straight. And then when the next order of John Archer is given out, I'll know that it's the 9th or the 10th and who it's supposed to be given. Right. That's the confusion here. Right. In other news. Michael Blake. Tweeted. Mickey Boy 929. Hey, Roy Field. The French TV show was the returned. Oh, yes. That's what I mentioned last week. Yeah. Wasn't it? Yeah. And he says, don't bother with it. After eight hours, I still have no clue what it was about. And our cosmo also concurred. No, it's well worth watching and rarely makes sense. So I won't be watching that one. But it did look very good for the very first episode. But can I just say, just before we go, if you wanted to see a slice of genius, on BBC 3, on iPlayer, people just do nothing, which is a mockumentary about a West London pirate station corrupt FM. I started watching it yesterday. MC Grinder, very funny. If you wanted to see a bit of a satire on working-class culture in modern Britain, please watch that. Absolutely brilliantly observed. It's very funny. People just do nothing. It's on iPlayer. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Go watch that. But I know you'll just be watching one of your kind of a Bronte adaptation, so it's something won't you? Are you talking to me? Yes. No, I will watch that. I really liked PhoneShop. Did you like PhoneShop? Oh, PhoneShop was another slice of genius as well. Yeah. Owl. Me and my sister still say, owl. But he said about the tattoo. I turned around and it was owl. I don't really want to go on a one person rant about the depiction of Britain that we see on our TVs. But this is in stark contrast but is so well observed and just very funny as well. So please, please, please give it your time. So remember, you can also contact us by sending us a voice message on the site, which is the little red tab over on the right. We can call it on 0203, 031, 3105, to leave us a telephone message, though no one does it any more. Or you can find us on the Twitter's where we are at. We can tweet me or I'm at Roy Field and sorry for the badly constructed tweets that I sometimes send out. But yeah, I do delete them afterwards. Me at Lucy P Freeman or Sarah Smith at @Sarah_Smith and Sarah_Smith has a jolly funny blog which he writes about her children and stuff that has been happening to her and it is funny, genuinely. So have a look at that as well. I just realised I've broken a golden rule. Scarlet Sparrow again. Scarlet Sparrow, first time caller Inra. I'm a tap dancing accountant for my sins. Anyway, it's all I need to say. Sorry, sorry I missed it off. Yes, Scarlet Sparrow. For some reason, this is the first time anyone has ever bothered to do it. Did you hear her voice? Yes. So lovely. [LAUGHTER] Gosh, aren't you flattered, aren't you? Isn't that the point? Isn't that the point? Oh, listen to this caller, isn't it? [LAUGHTER] Add you to tap dancing accountant. What more could you want? Shuffle step spreadsheet. She could be my finance minister if I'm Greece. Yes. If she's a... You could be like Berlusconi and have this troop of very young eligible glamorous women being met. She's a Iranian country. What? Berlusconi is Italy. I know. Oh, all right. I thought we were talking about Greece. No, his whole cabinet was made up of... Oh, it wasn't. Pretty much. His whole cabinet wasn't. Oh, all right then. Cool. Lummi Charlie. Anyway, she... You say I'm going to have a bungabunga party, Scarlet Sparrow. You would love to have a bungabunga party with Scarlet Sparrow. [MUSIC] So good, so good, so good. Perfect gifts. We've got them at Nordstrom Rack Stores now. Ugg, Nike, Barefoot Dreams, Kate Spade New York, and more. Find everything on their wish list, all in one place. Steve Madden? Yes, please. It's perfect. Did we just score? The greatest gifts of all time? Yeah. Head to your Nordstrom Rack store to score. Great brands, great prices, the greatest gifts of all time. Kenny's family healthcare benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. With two kids, he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's On The Job Skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that, too. That led to a bigger paycheck, so he was able to get his youngest son a... Drum roll, please. Drum set. Next up, drum lessons. Learn more at AboutAmazon.com. Amazon. every day better.

In summary the deconstruction of Kenton and Helen plus the interaction between Ruthpet and David over Heather makes this week compulsive listening.

Kosmo

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