DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 70 – Sarah Douglas

Evening from Edinburgh

Roifield and Lucy were joined by Sarah Douglas “Duggers” this week. Kenton’s damp nether regions were re-examined and they also made it into tweet of the week. Duggers loves the Rob storylines and regards him as her favourite character, although no-one (especially Blithe Spirit) understands the current lack of calves or Jazzer. (Roifield – “Les Revenants” is well worth watching and rarely makes sense). Maeve is better and back with us. Lucy gave voice to the way she derives pleasure from TA, Tilling and Blandings, whilst Roifield enjoys particular graphic comic book depiction of Super heroes.

Dealing with aged parents is not easy – we struggled over long periods and therefore I would offer much sympathy to Ruth over Heatherpet; I am less certain that it is a plot device and more an attempt to reflect the real difficulties which can be encountered.

Jo Jo Sexy Heels is back as well – she anticipates that Hazel will shut the shop (as does Huckleberry Jim) – I would add the prediction that the Grundies and the Perks will also be homeless.

Lucy was drinking an IPA whilst Roifield was on the Camp Coffee as usual. Conversely, Millie found that no-one on Facebook would raise a glass to celebrate the recent wedding. There was much gossip about Susan in the same place!

The new website forum sounds well worth investigating and the shop is being relocated so that there will be tea towels!

Kosmo

On this week’s show we have calls from

Maeve in the big press! She’s back!

Felisstee who’s cross with Ruth,

Claire from scotland via canada who wants to take over St Stephen’s choir,

Samaryd who thinks Titchynob is faking it,

Jo Jo Sexy Heels who’s following the yellow brick road,

Huckleberry Jim who’s Lucy’s new crush

Yokelbear who’s warming towards the Farebrethren

Blithe Spirit who thinks Charlie needs to be smarter,

and Witherspoon who’s back from his transatlantic tour

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 70 – Sarah Douglas appeared first on DumTeeDum.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 1h 21m
Broadcast on:: 10 Aug 2015
Audio Format:: other

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Speed slower above 40 gigabytes of CD-Tails. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dumb T-Dumb. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith cloths are eco-friendly, usable and washable. And you know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posh-ah-wash-ah, proud sponsors of Dumb T-Dumb. This is Dumb T-Dumb, the chef at the reality of Dr. Dromer, they're centred on Ambridge in the heart of the Midlands. I'm the welcoming village hostery that is Royfield Brown and with me are the damp foundation that is Lucy Freeman. And we also this week have Archer Superfan. Sarah Douglas. And the last part of our crisis in the bull is you. Now this week's Dumb T-Dumb was sent in by Miss Alliance. Lucy. Yep, sorry. What were you doing there for a second? I was wondering whether Sarah's name was Sarah Duggan or Sarah Douglas. Is it Sarah Douglas? It's Douglas. Douglas is a nickname I got when I worked at Zoom magazine, stuck. Yes, I can imagine Zoom magazine was fairly big on nicknames. It was. But before we go into what Sarah does right now, Lucy? Yes. Let's get back on to remember we're wearing a tight ship, tight ship, tight ship, think ships and tight. Can you remind our listeners how when the accolade of Dumb T-Dumb of the week? Yes, if you would like to sing us a Dumb T-Dumb, give us a plot prediction or crowd-funded new microwave for the bull. Bring us on 0 2 0 3 0 3 1 3 1 0 5, or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thank you to lovely champerages for her amazing voices to Cosmo for his podcast roundups and to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us. Derek has kicked us out of the back bedroom this week as Milena is storing her wigs in there while she's staying. Derek wandered in there in the dark, put his hand on one and frightened himself to death. He thought he'd interrupted Kate doing yoga or something. Yeah, Lucy, you're going to have to start toning these down, you know. Really? You know, middle England, I don't know if middle England can actually cope. He thought he put his hand on her head, I don't know what's, there's nothing rude about that, it's slightest. It's entirely your interpretation. Really? Now, on this week's show we have calls from Maeve in the big friend. Hey! Sorry, I was very, very happy to get this call. No, as happy as I was. And do you want to know why? Why? She's my original girl, wasn't she? Hi, no! I love my Maeve. She's back. Felicity, who's crossed with Ruth, Claire from Scotland via Canada, who wants to take over the St. Stephen's choir. I think Mr Horn might fight for that job. Sam Mary D, who thinks that teaching up is faking it, Jojo sexy heels, who's following the yellow brick road. Hawkerberry Jim. Now, he sounds like a new caller in a row. He is. Hawkerberry Jim, who's Lucy's new, you fancy any bloke that rings in. You wait till you hear his voice though. What effect will it have on me? It may not have to say the fact it's on you. Yeah, sorry. May not have Sarah, I would like her. Probably. Yokelberry is warming towards the prayer brethren. Bly spirit, he thinks Charlie needs to be Sparta. Glen, full of love, who wonders why Pip Archer has had her exam results one month after everybody else in the United Kingdom. And with a spoon, who's back from his mid-Atlantic travels. But first, before we get to the meat of the show, he's a bit of bread, which is Lucy's last week. Last week in Ambridge. We began the week in bed with Adam and Ian, which was a bit hot, particularly as all the windows at gay greibels are welded shut with ferret-proof solder. Ian had a lovely time at the cricket at Edge Baston, he said, despite it not being on. The happy couple broke the news to Pat and Tony about them getting married on the Isle of Spite. Sorry, white. And lovely old Rob used the occasion of his getting away with marrying Helen at time, and the least he could do was be gracious and keep his trap-shot to remind Tom and his entire family about the time Tom's own wedding went totally arse up and was an embarrassing disaster. I would be delighted if someone gave me the opportunity to dodge a wedding, but Emma is furious. She has missed out on the opportunity to wear her Diamante earrings, her Kurt Geiger slingbacks, and get a vajazzle, as it's nice to look smart down there when you get the opportunity. So now she is furious and channeled Vicki Pollard saying, "I reckon it's a bit rubbish." Meanwhile, over at the shop, Susan was having a fabulous time throwing her weight around as the Mary Portus of Ambridge, talking about football and customer experience. She is insistent that all the staff must now wear tabards and name badges. Susan's will be gigantic, as it is going to have to say. Hello, my name is Susan, and I am here to criticise you in a passive-aggressive way until you walk out feeling a bit annoyed, but you can't quite put your finger on why. Jill's badge will just say, "Hello!" in a slightly spooky but caring way, and Jim's will say, "Kaviat Emptor!" Susan did use the telling phrase, "Like a proper shop," which indicates how even Ambridge has cottoned on to the fact that they're using plastic coins and a fissure price till. Adam has decided to put his money where his ego is, but true to form, he spoke to Ian, decided he would take the job Debbie was offering him in Hungary, decided that there was no way he would take Brian's offer, then without talking to Ian at all, took Brian's offer. I don't know why Ian puts up with him. Charlie is going to investigate the spreadsheets and find out where all the money is disappearing to. It's disappearing into Rob's back pocket and from there into the accounts of about 27 deluded women across the British Isles. Oh, sorry, my computer's gone, hang on a minute, there we go. I don't think he just drummed on it. Pip got a 2-1 in milking, saying groan and goose ushering. Fabian, Lottie and Hannah all apparently did very well too. Yes, I thought you'd be pleased. They do sound like the sort of hard-up working-class young people who would struggle to get us farm, as Pip was saying the other day. Jill has decided to force Kenton into a "rap-hosh-mock" linder again, with his family by taking a leaf out of the Aldridge's book because that worked so well and is arranging a massive family party. If that doesn't end in a punch-up, I will eat scruff's bloated corpse. We had a little respite from Home Farm this week, as Kate has been busy working on her business plan. She put on some yoga music and showed Lillie in the plan, but Lillie didn't ask if she could possibly turn the music off, or she couldn't concentrate as it just kept making her want-free pobodoms and a lambooner. "Believe in yourself, Kate!" and then everyone else will too, said Adam. As I keep saying, Kate's problem is that she does believe in herself. The problem is, is that it's with absolutely no basis whatsoever. Heather Pet has gone missing. She ran away on her walking frame. She just had dinner and then left. Must have been a pretty awful dinner. They found Heather scaling the walls of her erstwhile home before she tried to beat Ruth to death with the for sale sign. "I keep thinking there's something we haven't thought of," said Ruth, and we all screamed, "Yes, you stay there and let Pip stay in Ambridge and let's have less of this endless, chilly shallying, because we're in a groove in the M6 the amount of times they've been up and down." And as we all predicted, once we heard Kenton and Jeanine getting all excited about the architects' plans for the open plan bull, the insurance company are not going to pay for it as the foundations were already suffering from damp. Do we all remember when Kenton failed to clean out the drain and it flooded and all Jeanine's spandex shriveled? Yes, let's hope Jeanine doesn't. Otherwise, it could be Kenton's bollocks bobbing in a jar of vinegar on the bar and not the pickled eggs. Not that there will be a bar anymore as the bull is finished, an ancient relic finished off owing to damp foundations. Let's hope Peggy's keeping herself nice and dry. The end. Oh, I really liked it this week. I did, Lucy. I did. Did you, Johnnie Good? And when that little line, when Kenton read out the letter from the insurance company and the line was there about preexisting damp, you know, that was nonsense about the dresses, you know, which did go and make me think goodness, I've been planning this for a long time. Yeah. It all gets there in the end, doesn't it? All the things we laugh at and say, why the hell were we listening to a, you know, seven minute diatribe about damp, you know, about Kenton not cleaning out pipes and then this happens and you think, oh, but of course, if you've not listened every day for the last three years, you wouldn't have a sorting clue. But anyway, there we go. That's just one of the things of listening to the arches, isn't it? Absolutely. Should we go and see what our guest thought of your wondrous monologue? Yes. Now, Miss Douglas, or can I just call you Douglas? Are we friends now? Of course we are. Douglas is absolutely fine. Cool. Right. You do something rather important during your day job. What is that? I do. I'm social media manager at the sun. Right. Now smashing. Now, we've got you one because I want to know how we can get our hits up. What we should be doing right there. No. Let's talk about ambridge. I'll leave it later and tell you my day rate and we can discuss it. This is not working out the way that we can. It was a good few years ago because I started listening to it on the way home. It would be on in the car when I was on my way home from work. I just thought at the beginning, I had no idea who anyone was. But I was still tuning in every day to find out what had been going on. I just got really into it because they seemed to have turned it down slightly over the years. But it used to be just really overdone sound effects that I quite enjoyed. And it would be sort of David being like, "Here we are in a field. Here are some cows." And then he'd hear some mowing. And it just got me really into it. Was it that you were in the car at that time and it was just on and you kind of absorbed it without consciously listening? Was it a certain storyline that attracted you? It was, I just sort of started listening to it. It was all of it. Because like I said, I had no idea who anyone was or sort of any of the back story. So I'd absolutely no idea what was going on. He must have been completely lost for about a year and a half. Think of what the hell is going on? Who are these idiots? Just staring at the radio sort of. It's just all so dramatic. I loved it. I like the fact that you said that there was loads of kind of heavy sound effects and the kind of tone that down. We used to have a whole load of a raucous carrines on, going on a dum-dum. Now we just have the odd meh, don't we? Yeah, we had the odd Didgey-Doo for Maeve. Yup. The boing and your wine and all. Oh not for Maeve, Millie, Millie, Millie Bell. Don't we still have the Didgey-Doo, don't we? Yes. Is it a Didgey-Doo? No, we do. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not Ralph Harris doing it. It's like proper Aussie's doing it. Yeah, you can still mention their name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Childhood rune because of that man. Jesus Christ. Anyway. Who's your favourite character? It sort of changes day to day, but at the moment, and I know this is going to be very controversial. Don't say it. What? It's never Pip. It's Rob. I really like all this sort of... It's sort of... No, you like to hate it. It's really done sociopath type stuff. I'm really enjoying it. And I want more of Rob because of it. Is it you want more of Rob? I kind of want more of Rob because I want the storyline to end. I want to get where it's going and be over. So he's either going to be shot in prison, you know, found out in somewhere, but it's just got to end because it's unbearable. It is a slow burn with the Helen stuff, isn't it? I do kind of want it to just come to a head. I also want to know, like, what's been going on with him basically flooding the entire village and, you know, cooking the books, making up cows and stuff. Oh, it's never happening. I assume that's what he's been doing, that he's been saying. I can't figure out what the hell's been going on. But all they said was something about the maternity? Yeah. No, there's a melody. More cars? Not? Or, you know... It's the multi-field, isn't it? Was it the multi-field? No, no, no. It's the amount of calves that have been produced from the imp... because they feed them all these horrible fertility drugs and God knows what. And it's the amount of calves that have resulted. So there's either more calves than there should be or less. I'm going for less because otherwise that would be quite a good thing, I think. I don't even know enough to know whether that would be good or bad. Well, less might be good for the planet, but bad for Baro Farm is a business. Baro Farm is a business. They hate the planet. They hate the planet. Either way, he's making up cattle, as Sarah said, which cannot be good. I would say more he's making up shit, really. But that's just me and my potty mouth. Now, Sarah, you obviously worked for an August national publication. I do, yes. Right. Now, which member of Ambridge, which resident of Ambridge, you reckon reads the song? Oh, I reckon Rex and Toby, they seem that sit down with a copy of the song. Mm-hmm. And I think Neil would, given half a chance. Oh, yeah. Unless Susan caught him and then made him read the mail. Yes, exactly. So, what are the crundies reading? I don't know. The mirror. Maybe the mirror, maybe like the daily sport. I think that's harsh. Daily sport, that's very harsh. What does anyone know about the daily sport? The daily sport. Jazza. Jazza will be the daily sport. Yeah. Yeah. Where's he been? Oh, god knows. I think he's still even living with Jim. He just disappeared. You think he'd be in full all the time, but he seems like a man who would like a microwave meal. You think he'd be there constantly? Very true. He's another one of the Ambridge disappeared, isn't he? Yeah. Because then what will happen in a couple of months' time, a couple of weeks' time, someone will start saying, "Oh, I've just seen Jazza and then we'll think, 'Oh, hello, he's coming back.' And then in the next scene, there he'll be. Yeah. Have a story line. You just reminded me of Lucy. There was a thing on Amazon, and it was set in France originally, where all these people have died like 10 years ago and all started reappearing. Then they did an American remake, "I'm going to have to. I only saw the first episode and it was really spooky. I want to go back and watch that. Thank you for that. He's got that little seed in my mind. I'll report back next week and how good he was." So you're very much into this Rob and Helen story line. Are there any other story lines that are getting you similarly exercised at the moment? The one that's making me really angry at the moment, which I think unsurprisingly is Kenton. Stop, whinging, he's the one who's blaming David for ruining them and all of this. But then when it comes down to it, he'd rather sell the pub than ask him for help. He even said, 'I'd rather cut my own throat.' And it's like, 'Well, that's pretty much what you're doing.' And it's so OTT. It's not just when I'm pretty pissed off of David. It's like my whole family are conspiring against me. Everyone hates me. I'm going to go and put a TV on the credit card. And it's just like, 'Oh, shush.' It is just fantastically... He's just acting out as an adolescent, isn't he? You're having the little parental rebellion that I don't think he ever had because he was off in the Merchant Navy. It's like he saved it all up until he's nearly 50 and now he's decided to start going, 'Oh, you hate me. I hate you. Oh, no, one likes me.' Oh, the other one, but again, and this is slightly unfair on my part, I think, but Heather, Heather's really annoying me. Because she's still alive. Yes, she hasn't died. She hasn't died. Will you hoping that when she went missing, she's going to be, like, banned dead in a culvert? A little bit, yes. Because just, I mean, it's Ruth being pretty annoying. Like, if anyone says anything to her, she sort of gets really crossed with them, like, 'She's my mum and I'm killing her.' It's like, 'Oh, my God.' But just, you know, I kind of hope that once I'm Heather's age and can't stand up without falling directly onto my face every two minutes, that just I'll go gracefully, like, 'Okay, I need to go into her home. I'll do that. I don't want to be a burden.' I'd sort of martyr myself and make everyone, you know, like me for it. Whereas Heather's just sort of pain in the arse. Well, I think that's a bit harsh. Which is generally, I reserve that kind of statement. Anything that Lucy says, that's a bit harsh. But Sarah, I'm turning it on you now. That's a bit harsh. It's not bad now. Because she's trying to be independent, but it's not working, is it? And I just think what they need to do is just, like, throw her in a car, drive her down to Ambridge, as much as I actually don't want her to be. Exactly. That's what I thought. Exactly. It's what you would do. You'd just say, 'Mom, you can't look after yourself. I'm sorry.' You know, you're coming down to Ambridge. Yeah. And also, she's a nice woman, Heather. She is considerate. And she was always saying, 'Oh, you don't need to come down, Pet' and all this and laughing. So she wouldn't want Ruth to be roaring up and down the, you know, motorway every two seconds, panicking and, you know, all this. Especially this milking to be done. There is milking. But actually, while she's still got her marbles, she would say, and to say, 'Oh, she's still got her friends and her life up there.' She hasn't. She's in her home. She's falling over. And all her friends are dying. Yeah, it might work out, aren't they? Yeah. So, what's she staying up there for? Exactly. Well, because she's lost her teeth as well. So, she hasn't got there many more. There's always a bright side. But just, it's just that sort of thing of, I mean, I'm glad she's not coming to Ambridge, but I think that might happen next. And she's going to die soon. And Ruth will then sort of go mental. And maybe, as you were saying last time, you know, having a fair with the New Dairyman again. I still think it's going to be Ruth will move down there. Because she said this time, you know, 'Oh, if only there was a thing we could think of to do.' And, you know, she's got to go there. And Pips got to stay in Ambridge, hasn't she? That's the only way it's going to work, I think. But I don't know. I don't think Pips leaving. No, not for Brazil. Well, they wouldn't bring in a new actress and then, you know, sack her off for two years, that would be ridiculous. I don't know. Why are you just just thinking, they've done more stupid things than that before. But also, maybe they just hate her as much as everyone hates Pips. So, that's what they've decided. That could be what's happening. Well, I tell you what, the great Ambridge listening public may be starting to turn on Pips, you know, in terms of, like, hating her. Somebody on the book who faces the day says that's your favourite character. Couldn't believe it. No. Couldn't believe it. I think it's because she told Toby to take a running jump. I was quite impressed with her for that. I'm sorry. I was quite impressed with her for that. It was quite good. But with the Toby and Rex thing, she seems to be acting as if she's never met a man before. Every time they speak to her, she's like, "Oh, this is Christ." She saw one of them with their top off and just went mental. Yeah. Just, you know, sit down, take a breath. So funny. So, if you haven't been listening for millions of years, like the rest of us, are there any bits of sort of backstory that you've had to think, why is that so important to so-and-so? What is the deal with so-and-so? Is there anything that's kind of completely confused you for a long time? Well, the one reason is why Helen is just so bloody wet. And then, obviously, I looked at her and, you know, she's so awful. Her first boyfriend shot himself. And that sort of made everything make a bit more sense of why she's, you know, so desperate. But I think she was desperate before that's the reason why, because he was just a weird one, you know. Yeah. But she keeps picking men, or she had to, actually, that's not true. The two men that she sort of picked are both, you know, those women that say, "Oh, well, they like a challenge kind of thing." They're like, "Oh, only I understand him sort of thing." Yeah. They're both quite similar in that respect, Greg and Rob. They're both kind of very men's men. And, you know, they kind of, they were both kind of quite aloof. And there was something in Helen, I think, that she feels the need to prove. I think, Lucy, you're half right. Because when Rob was presented to Ambridge, he was a fully formed man. He was, everybody said, "Oh, he's really quite handsome." And he seemed to be Mr. Perfect. And he had this perfect domestic setup, and the first clue that something was wrong was the fact that his wife didn't move up to Ambridge. But actually, Rob was perfect first up. Greg Nutter. There was something, he was just like, something weird with him. So she might, she wanted to fix him, and she really wanted to fix him and his relationship with his daughters, remember. However, what she was attracted to with Rob was actually, he was seemingly an alpha male, and actually what he's attracted to is misogynists. That's what she was attracted to. Yeah. She's got sort of crushingly low self-esteem, and it's just sort of like, "Yeah, this is the best I can get." You know, seemed perfect, but it's actually really nasty to me at all the time. But she's still not seeing him as being really nasty, is she? No, because he isn't overtly nasty to her all the time. You know, that's a genius of the storyline, isn't it? It is really well done, I think, you know. It's really subtle, and obviously, you know, I suppose when you're a listener, you can see all the puzzle pieces at once, whereas it's not as if her family or friends would see this really nasty, devious side to him. Except Shula, Shula has. That's true. And David. When everyone's asking, now that they've come back married, everyone keeps saying, "Oh, can I see your ring?" And it's like, "Well, it's just a wedding ring." Surely. Yeah, it's the engagement ring. That's the flashy, flashy one, isn't it? Exactly. Oh, the ring's a bit of a giveaway. Well, yeah, but it's not exactly... I hadn't thought of that. I'd be around just staring at people's hands, maybe. Maybe that's what you do in the country. I tell you what I thought was weird, though. And I can't remember exactly... I think it was Kenton, but it's about Tuesday also. And Helen was chatting around Kenton was there. And Kenton hadn't heard the news. Absolute bollocks. It's only a village, and someone's got married, and the member of your extended family, you're going to know within five seconds of them announcing it. And if Susan Carter knows, it's all over. I do like it when you get little bits of... I think what might come to a head is Rob is really horrible to Henry, because he gets close to snapping quite often. Well, he did last week, didn't he? Say, "For goodness sake, Henry, put that down." And then Peggy's purse appeared. I do think the one thing about Rob, though, is I don't think it's sort of... I think even he was a bit like, "Wow, you can't give us 10 grand," rather than sort of rubbing his hands together. Like, "Oh, yes." You know, I read that completely as, "Oh, yes." Oh, really? I thought he'd read it when he sounded like... No, I think he went through, you know, the... The polite notion. Exactly. The polite notion that... Oh, that's just too much. And he's saying, "Thank you." Don't just go, "Thank you." You don't start writing that. Exactly. (LAUGHTER) Pitching. But I don't think I've ever met a person. And I don't think I want to again, Sarah Douglas. And don't take this the wrong way, because that sounds overly hard intended to myself now. She actually likes Rob Titchner. You said he's your favourite character. Yeah. As opposed to you like, you love to hate him. Oh, steady on. Is that the drinks cabinet? You both. But I also... I just think... He just sounds like it's sort of... ...stried around taking charge, and I quite like that. Hmm. I don't... I don't... I do love to hate him, but I also just kind of love him. He's just exciting. Now that sort of everything's got a bit of quiet work. Do you like the part of the posh-toth kind of bad boy? Yeah. He's beyond bad boy, though. He's sociopathic. He's a psycho. I mean, there's Mr Darcy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're just saying he's a psycho, and you like that, Sarah. (LAUGHTER) I probably shouldn't, like, admit this on a podcast. It doesn't make me sound particularly stable. I'm a bit worried that maybe I am Helen. No, but what you've fallen for is what Helen's fallen for. Yeah. Oh, God, I'm Helen. (LAUGHTER) Anyway, our time is up now, Sarah. Exactly. On that note, I think we need to listen to more people's views on the world of ambition. Let's hit those calls. Oh, that was good. Yeah, we love to leave our guests on a sort of a... ...doing a bit of self-analysis and coming to the end of this conclusion. It's always good. (LAUGHTER) Dr. Anthony Cliff, what was his, was his psychiatrist chair? His programme. In the psychiatrist chair. Yes. So tell me why you were a fucking... We just dressed them. You've done up as some nonsense about the artist, but really, yes. Is this an intervention? Yes. (LAUGHTER) Not before time, obviously. (LAUGHTER) Oh, this is terrifying. (LAUGHTER) (BELL RINGING) Hello, Ambridge 3962. Lucy, who's first? Hello, down to down. This is Maeve here. I haven't been listening to the artist for quite a while. I've been recuperating from being poorly. So just started listening sort of late last week again. And Chuck Horr discovered that Helen had never married well. At this stage, I thought that either Helen or Rob are both or might be dead. But hey, Ho, so I think this is going to go on and on and on. One of the strange things about being poorly was that I couldn't bear to listen to the artist during the time. So I think that maybe some of me getting slightly better was actually when I can bear it. But having listened to Friday's episode and the fact that they're now married, I'm not sure. Anyhow, good to be back. Love the new website and we'll keep in touch. Cheers then, bye. Maeve in the big press. Hurrah! I don't care what she said, I'm just very glad that she's back. Me too. Me too. Why original girl? Yeah. And you don't sound quite your old self yet, Maeve. You need to stay on the Guinness and then you'll get sound stronger. Maeve did say that being, when she, because she's been quite ill recently, she's now recovering. But she said some days she just couldn't listen to the archers because it just, you know, just wasn't the right thing. Sort of annoying or whatever. Are there any times when you have not been in the right frame of mind to listen to the archers? Boyfield Brown. No. Really? No, no, no, no, because the archers occupy a very unique place in my kind of life and kind of our landscape in that it's important and it's vital but it's not to do or die. If that makes any kind of sense. So my mood isn't really, it doesn't really affect my mood in any way. If I'm a little bit down. Well, that's not quite true. If I'm a little bit down, it kind of peps me up a little. But if I'm up, for me, it's always just a some positive. But, no. So I'm no go, I just can't listen to it anymore. But, as I've just kind of said on many occasions, I was never an idle man, but that has more to do with my reverse kind of snobbery. And so when he fell off the, you know, when he fell off the lower locks, I couldn't have been happier. But, so, you know, the archers only ever makes me happy, never sad. And, yeah, there's somewhat of a terrible answer to quite a very clever question. Sorry. It wasn't terrible at all. No, I completely understand how it's, I'm in an arring and me thinking on the spot there. But it's how it's outside your own life. It's just a little world, all of its own, which is why, which is why we all love it, I suppose, because it is a self-contained little world. I find it, when I'm stressed, I find it very, there are certain books I go back to when I am stressed or agitated or sad. And, usually, PG Woodhouse, particularly the Blanding's Castle books, and Mapen Lucheer, the Tilling books. And I listen to the archers, and it is because they exist in beauty. And I watch Frasier, because they are beautifully ordered, self-contained little worlds that don't need me to do anything to them. I can worry about Helen, all I like, and I can, you know, get annoyed by characters or whatever, or I can, you know, get infuriated by Elizabeth Mapp in Mapen Lucheer. But I can't do anything about it, and it's a huge break for my brain to just think, you can't, you know, you are our force to be a bystander here. You can't, you can't affect any change whatsoever. And it just reminds your brain that you don't have to do everything, I think. You know, that's really quite interesting about the whole idea of kind of coming back to something, you know, time after time. And my initial reaction is to say that actually I don't, I don't find comfort and solace in, you know, retreading a path to something that I've got creatively got something from. But that's not kind of quite true, because I do look at classic photographs or works of art. Like, I love the artwork of Jean-Jacques David, and I primarily kind of came through into his work, through a love of history, particularly Napoleon, kind of early modern European history, and Michelangelo, and also Picasso, and I can forever go back and take something from them again. But it's kind of almost like the arches, all they do is kind of fuel me, you know, and I go and they kind of hit me with a sense of kind of like, you know, wondering, "Oh my God, that was just so amazing, how could somebody do that?" and kind of think that. But on a more slightly kind of home drama personal level, there's a period, like 1967 to 1969, where my favourite comic book artist John Bissima drew the Avengers, and I think the writer at the time was a guy called Roy Thomas. And it's the way that these hero figures were drawn, and it's imprinted in my mind from being about six, because of the British reprint in the mid 70s, but originally they came out in the late 60s in the US. And it so affected me that I still draw, when I draw, I draw like a poor man John Bissima, the way I'm looking at anatomy, and I forever go back and look at those comics and the heroic poses, and the way that he just kind of understood anatomy and understood it to exaggerate it. And just the classic storylines, it's the first time I ever read the term schizophrenia, because one of the characters became schizophrenic, and I always remember to Charla looking at the window, and even though somebody had this coat on and a hat and it was this raining evening, he said, "There's Captain America." And Hawkeye turns this, "How do you know?" says, "I can tell by the way he walks." And it's just these little things that's going to stay in your mind, but the way it was just drawn was so brilliant, and I always go back to those comics, they're absolutely beautiful. There are things, yeah, there are things that you just go back to, it's like going home to something, but it's going back to a place in your brain that you find as comforting as returning to somewhere you feel safe. Absolutely. Anyway, get well soon, Maisa. She's on the road to recovery. Be willderingly long segue there, but anyway, yes, we are very, very glad to hear you back with us. Hello, dumpty-dum. It's Felicity, Ruth. Ruth is driving me bonkers at the moment. I'd like to bopper on the nose or something, because she is completely focusing on what she thinks is best, and what would actually suit her best. Her mother is clearly capable of walking, we know that, because she got up to help somebody when she fell over, but that was just a slip-in hospital. She's capable of going out in a car and visiting a potential residence. She's capable of talking, we know that, because she's expressed her desire not to go into a care home. We don't know if she's completely able to dress herself, and we assume she's able to feed herself. We now know she's also capable of packing a suitcase and making a phone call to a taxi firm. So what Ruth should be doing, while she's spending all this time up in Prada, is to be getting hold of the local occupational therapy services and getting people in to assess Heather Pet's home for AIDS and adaptations, which would enable her to continue living at home with possible additional care. Ruth could also be looking into perhaps releasing some of the equity from Heather Pet's house in order to finance any extra work that needs doing, because she never heard of occupational therapists for God's sake. Well, anyway, that's my little rant. I think that's right. I think this whole storyline is really weird. You are right, you know, they're Lucy. I've had a certain amount of sympathy for Ruth in terms of, look, as your parents get older, they don't gradually become older. It happens in fits and starts and jolts. And, you know, they'll do something. You go, "Oh my God, my parents are old." Right? And Ruth has had that fit start and jolt with the fact that her mother has been seriously ill and really needs to be in her home. So instead of her running up and down, and what does she do when she's up in Prada? She does naffle, right? She should be getting AIDS for a mother, if she's serious about a mother being back in the house. But really in truth, because, you know, as I said earlier, she should just say, "Mom, I don't care what you say, pack your suitcase, or I'll pack it for you, get in the back of the cart, you're coming to Ambridge." You know, if you go in the back of the cart, that sounds bit threatening by now. But, you know, please, this is just ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, it is. It is. Yeah. Yes. I'm angry with you, Felicity. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, they're trying to, they want the story to come out in a certain way. So they're just trying to squish it through this silly mangle of nonsensicalness to, of all nonsense, as we say in English, to, um, to make it come out in that way, even though the mangle that they're putting it through doesn't have any logic to it. They're dragging this out to, so this coincides with the fact that Pip has to go to himself. They're trying to push it to that resolution, isn't it? Exactly. Yeah. Yes. Now, poo to that. Hello, down to down. Clamford's got into my family here calling me to pick about this travel not for company. I mean, can I relax? I have never before encountered a travel not for company, but seems the opera in the original level. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous to your contracts, they said, "What the f**k are you talking about? You insane Hollywood s**t." 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Small business owners like myself are growing their businesses faster on Amazon. By getting help with things like shipping. Shop small business on Amazon. Especially Princeton popcorn. Amazon. Every day better. So I was thoroughly confused when Jim turned to jail and said, "Oh yes, and did I tell you, the operas are going to be signed in Italian." And having to give Kristine Italian conversats only because she doesn't speak or work with it. Of course, she doesn't have regimes in Italy. I mean, but having said that, I won't imagine doing that. Jim to be the sort of person who keeps scores of music, literally scores of music, and to follow along with the simply or the opera. And I certainly would have imagined Kristine to be actually having said this on account of Peter being a touring orchestra conductor or first violinist or whatever it is Peter is. Having said that, I'm done need speaking, and I am now off to plot a takeover of the St Stephen's choir. We don't hear enough about them, and I seek to fix this. Take care. I wish you luck on the podcast, loving it as ever, and all the best. Claire from Scotland via Canada is fascinated by this opera company coming to Lo and Oxley, and singing in Italian. If you're singing in Italian opera, you do sing in Italian, unless you're the English national opera, don't you? Anyway, Claire is quite keen to take over St Stephen's choir, because not enough is heard of it, she said. I think after the last thing, more than enough is being heard of it. Can I just say, this is what I understood from Claire's call, right? right hello don't you don't bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla I didn't you know what opera Italian I did I didn't understand none of that I just but I love her knowledge on this topic and also I love the way that she always manages to get in some kind of reference to classical music and to sing it into her calls yes she's your music correspondent but as I say none of it made any sense to me I trust that it made sense to other people probably Andrew Horn mm-hmm and Miss Alliance just say talking about your boy horn because he's a clever chap and last week you and I opined that Adam should shut his cake hole and just do the have the deals put on the table and I think we have to pause for thought if two eminent business people stroke financial experts basically go hmm that's not such a great deal because Cosmo wrote on his post podcast analysis that this was not a great deal and it chimed about your boy Horn said so the only thing I would say is you know that's the reason why I'm not a successful businessman because I don't know I don't know anything and I will slightly bow to their wisdom in all of this however from the outside to me if Adam is trying to make such sweeping changes in the direction of the farm that to me isn't an employee that is somebody who's hand is very firm on the tiller and should take the risk but I you know I and I think I did correct myself when I said well okay maybe this should be some kind of gradual easing into this because he has financial obligations of his own but still my gut is that if you want to just change the way that everything's been done for 40 years well we'll take the risk but you know if why is a business heads that have made their careers in the world of commerce and and business tell me otherwise well then I suppose you have to go to what they say that's what I want to say about Andrew Horn and Cosmo yeah next quarter in a row Sam Mary Dee hello don't you dumb darlings it's Sam here I'm on the Twitter at Sam Mary Dee I've been listening to last week's podcast which was obviously as marvelous as usual and thinking about what Lucy said about teaching of is definitely divorced because Helen's seen the piece of paper well as the proud owner of a decree absolute from the event which shall not be named in the previous existence they're not that hard to forge it's basically just a typed piece of paper it's got a little stamp on it from the court I don't think that would be beyond the wit of man for him to get out his John Bull printing set and forge one of those anyway hope you're all well sorry to not see you in London the other week hope to see you soon lots of love bye bye Titchinob has forged the decree absolute which would make him a bigger missed that'd just be too much come on everybody said that somehow he'd forged the semen sample or what I wasn't a semen sample was it the hair sample with the DNA test was able semen sample and I think because we all know he's evil and he's a pantomime villain but we we are really trying to you know paint him as a villain that is pantomime like and he hasn't done that he's like come on he can't have done that my thing with this whole storyline is he's got enough strikes against him but actually we didn't need him also now cooking the you know cooking the cow books yeah it's just like oh yet another thing you know we could have had that to the list you know we didn't need to add that to the list at all and also when the decree absolute came through wouldn't Jess have rung him because she seems to kind of we always have whenever there's any big traumatic thing happens dramatic thing happens we always get the phone call from Jess don't we and and then him saying well your crackers aren't you that's why I'm not with you anymore Laura well now you're saying that you do believe that he know I was just thinking it's it's it's I don't know but I thought divorces took yonks to come through listens to be that's what I thought to you know so initially when they went away to the Isle of Wight and it just went all incredibly quiet then I went hmm she's gonna come back either wed or married a wed or married wed or preggos I was really even though I said I think she's gonna come back in this decision I actually thought she could be pregnant because I thought there's a certain amount of time there'd be no talk at all of a divorce settlement or oh she wants you know half the house or whatever the heck there's none of that and if ever a controlling angry frustrated get like him he's gonna get upset about it's what he perceives has been right or wrong with a divorce settlement there was none of that yeah Jojo sexy heels hi there damn two demos it's Jojo sexy heels I first of all wanted to say thank you so much to Royfield the meetup at co-cadetic was brilliant and loved meeting the people behind the voices and I was sat next to the space accountant which was thrilling because we've been talking for half an hour before we actually got to that point so loved to everybody who was there I really wanted to have a little talk about what I thought was gonna happen about the shop because quite clearly every time Hazel woolly is mentioned in the back of my head I can just hear munchkin singing ding dong the witch is dead mighty witch is dead because that's really what I want to happen to Hazel woolly but you just know that she's going to be in the arches for years to come and whatever is planned for that village shop it is clearly not gonna be what we want I loved her I'm the professional here she finally has found her nation life she's the boss of the shop and I just have this awful feeling it's gonna get taken away from her so bye for now everyone Jojo sexy heels signing out she reckons Hazel's gonna shut the shop yeah I think we all all reckon that don't we because she was used to after all our hard work tabards so we flog them in the shop Lucy there seems to be some movement some demand that don't you listeners want us to log tabards in our shop I just hate the word I hate I even hate the word tabard so just remind me what Hazel actually owns the property that she owns it's it's the cottage isn't it with a grungy so yeah and the flat above the old shop mm-hmm right yes who's in that now well it was Helen hasn't she moved back into the artist she's working at Jax then she came back so why was why then was Harrison Burns having a shower in the ball she's leaving back of the ball isn't she well after did the shot with it because the shot flooded oh was that you know I can't remember if that was pre or post I think yeah okay okay all right okay all right I'll give you that I give you that I think Jolene had her own personal flood she caught when she caught Harrison in the shower oh that was another unpleasant scene isn't she too old to flood I don't know the art oh god I've just thought no we kind of a Jolene pregnancy story just to put the whole tin out on it really anyway mmm what no he's too old he's too old he's too old can we move on to Huckleberry Jim please thank God hello my name is Jim Irving I am Huckleberry Jim on the Twitter I'm a long-time listener to the podcast but I'm a first-time caller in a row I wanted to talk to you about two things this week the first was the completely unnecessary way that Ruth shouted David's name when she discovered that Heather Pett had gone for a wander I've been a defender of Ruth in the past but she was just really irritating and I think she was clearly worried about Heather Pett but at that point had I been David I would have let her drive up to put her on her own and really bugger the consequences at the second point is a plot prediction really it's to do with the shop and Hazel Willy clearly Hazel's in the midst of doing something she's either selling the shop or my personal prediction is that she's going to reopen it as Willy's Willy's which will be the finest Dildo Emporium in Borsager anyway I think you do a great job with the podcast and I will hopefully call again soon thanks very much first-time caller in a row to be honest I heard the first part of this call and then I thought right you know what I'm just going to love me voice that man's got I know you'll just you know you're all you're gonna smile all over it right I'm just gonna put him in his place right how long did he say he's been listening to don't you don't don't know wasn't listening oh from the very beginning what do you mean you weren't listening he said he's got an amazing voice and you've gone oh no I just I just lost focus on what he was saying I was just listening to his all right well let me bring you back to reality he said from maybe yes okay right what a new caller in are supposed to do when they first I'm calling her in a row they say that they did yes so you know what big black mark against as far as I'm concerned he's trying to give it that listen to me I've been listening to this from from episode one yeah yeah I've been lurking it's like no yeah but he might be something awful it might put me right off well I don't like the man at all and I'm telling you right now any more faux pas like that right you'll never get on there no welcome on board it's lovely to have you know what did he say Lucy well the only bit I can probably made a note before I just started drawing hearts was Ruth shouting David's name going when she found out that our mum had gone missing and that annoyed him I thought Ruth did quite well there I thought that was a bit of good actor ring I thought but I thought David was the right pain in the eye I mean much as you know I my love for David is well documented but he was cut he just said almost and Daisy I hope and I hope you barely Jim and I'm born and but it's David just seen basically any man that comes across your part except you would that be fair no because you come across my path quite often you've had a thing for me before you know you have why you giggling so you just embrace it you've had a thing oh my god yeah you put me right off now I can't be what I was going on about I thought at the time the complete nutter opposite actually but anyway this is this podcast isn't about us you frequently you know it's not about your flights of fancy that's my flights of fancy you need to check a hold yourself woman but anyway hello Dunty Dunne blood spirit calling Charlie needs to wise up doesn't he why on earth would he call Robin sit him down and say I suspect you've been cooking the books I suspect you're an extremely dodgy person and I'm going to tell you about it and now I'm going to investigate it when what he should have done was to go and do it in the background don't tell Rob anything and then get all the evidence and confront him with it because if he tells Rob that he's going to do something like that then Rob will do his level best to cook the books even more and to hide his tracks god Charlie get a ruddy grip doesn't know who he's dealing with does he honestly meanwhile absolutely loving Susan's attempt to turn the community shop into Empire Ambridge I'm looking forward to her actually commissioning a so-ho creative agency to rebrand the whole thing the Tabans won't be the only won't be the only thing she'll be rebranding you'll be the whole thing well if we're not going on an ambridge this week it's quite exhausting but pretty good listen right blind spirit yes that was it was a bit James Bond wasn't it Charlie saying to Rob I have found out that a thing is wrong and I'm going to build up lots of evidence about the thing that is wrong and then I'm going to expose you as the doer of the wrong thing so I'm just giving you plenty of warnings it's a bit like when James Bond's dangling over the crocodile pit and then you know the evil enemy says ah well now you're going to die anyway won't do you any won't do me any harm if I give you the password that's going to stop nuclear war and he says okay then yes it would have been better if Charlie had just cracked on and found out what the thing was but then we wouldn't have known that's what he was doing would we so you can kind of see the point is it difficult exposition and things kind of that's the word the very very word now blind spirit even though I didn't quite agree with what you said there because has said we kind of do need some things explaining because it isn't a visual drama all right so sometimes things didn't be spelled out but isn't it but no it's not Lucy I just thought I don't know my radio tuned in from no well no I think surely the gag would have been I've got my TV tuned in properly but anyway but our blind spirit she's a very visually literate person because she posted on the twitters are you team Charlie which is got a whole load of love on Facebook actually and on on the twitters and she only designed a team Charlie t-shirt I saw it it's great I had a little call very cool very cool I'm almost thinking maybe we should back that in our shop what do you have bloke spirit if you if you will allow us to do that I will put that design up but let us know cool next quarter in with a spoon should be should be we should be more sympathetic to Helen greetings Lucy Royfield and all dumpty dumbers around the world with a spoon and Angus Haggis here and some husband and I are back from our holidays in London buzzing as always and Scotland beautiful as ever while Angus was enjoying a fortnight in New England we missed a long string of 90-degree days while we were away instead enjoying the chilly and damp weather on your side of the pond nevertheless the warmth of our friends great food and drink and spectacular landscape among other things made up for it while I couldn't attend the dumpty dum get together hanging with Royfield for an evening was a bonus he's as lovely in person as he is on the internet ironically we didn't listen to the archers for our entire trip so I embarked on some marathon listening since I've been home Royfield alerted me that there were major happenings while I was away I guess I also wasn't that surprised that Rob and Helen tied the knot but I've enjoyed listening to the responses of our fellow dumpty dummers to their marriage I think we should be more sympathetic to Helen yes she's been oblivious to the darkness that lurks inside Rob but it's easy to understand why and she does always seem to be off camera so to speak when his anger flares did you catch another one of his brief outbursts directed toward Henry so has Rob indeed been cooking the books will Charlie and covered this as well as the secrets of covert gate how will Rob react and some husband suggests that Rob will kill Charlie far fetched I do think but Miss Alliance last week first theorized about Rob's alleged murderous past as there ever been a murder on the archers this could be a first remember Rob's violent reaction to the man who was taking pictures of the hunt maybe it's not so far fetched after all to believe that Rob is capable of such a dastardly deed and as for my take on Brian and Adam and Adam I'm on team Adam and team Andrew Horn on this one I know that Brian owns the farm and Adam works for him but Brian's coming across as a bit of a bully which I've previously accused him of being yes it makes sense to set up some incentives for Adam even strong ones but to take away his salary strikes me as rather scrooge like I was surprised that Adam so quickly agreed to the new arrangement and Brian does appear to be playing out something else here related to the stepfather stepson relationship I must disagree with both Lucy and Royfield I think the river of animus flows downhill from Brian to Adam and back to the not so surprised nuptials my biggest laugh of the week came when I heard Emma complaining to no end to Ed about Robin Helen deciding to marry without first consulting her and thus depriving her of her God-given right to be a bright maid good to hear a bit of her self-centeredness returning she'll turn into her mother yet one last comment now that the insurance company has put the kibosh on the changing room plans for the bull which I don't think was a nice thing to do will Kenton accused David of colluding with the insurance adjuster just wondering well it's good to be back I think we've run over in our session today till next week it's Witherspoon and Angus Haggis signing off hey baby I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs and handsome husband with a spoon's handsome husband thinks that Rob will kill Charlie which I'm not quite sure how he's come to that conclusion but it would certainly be a dramatic end to the storyline but you know as we keep saying Rob as he gets trapped takes bigger and bigger risks he's already you know conveniently disposed oh one of the things I thought off was do you reckon that you know this money that's going missing from Baro Farm it's not going to pay maternity whatever or anybody it's pay off money to Stefan oh gosh yes well that makes sense yeah because it's disappearing it could also be vaguely run through the business because you know he we could say it was a it was a payoff or a final payment or a holiday but you know I mean you could kind of get it through them it wouldn't be like him just withdrawing you know three grand in cash and then Fedexing it to to Stefan it could be done under the within the cloak of the business well no no no no you're kind of right but I think you're wrong slightly on the detail because any payment to Stefan is gonna gonna gonna be done through the payroll and in effect you have to involve HR because Baro Farm is gonna have a person that looks after that those things but what he could do he's gonna have to say there was I had to pay a little bit extra for some feed or for something yeah and he's gonna manufacture some invoices that's for the for the shortfall right he cannot say I'm giving Stefan money because that's out of his purview but he can lose it and other bits of the business where he's actually ordering but genius Lucy like that ever thought of hosting an archer's podcast because you could have pretty good handle on things I tell you no I'm too busy doing this one okay great psychiatrist chair that's all and that's it that is the end of the calls right then let's take five I'm gonna have myself some camp coffee what are you gonna drink today I am drinking a wait one moment I'm just throwing the bottle in Queen of Queen of diamonds India pale ale made from wild card brewery which is my local brewery micro brewery at the road jolly good it is - tell you my friend Jennifer Reba when I was in San Francisco got me into the on pale ale they drink it over there like it's going out of fashion is cracking stuff mmm lovely all right now we've done that kind of advert for a random company that's not gonna pay us for it why don't we have some brand hello I'm Sarah Smith proud sponsor of dumpty-dum if you want to polish up your Albion give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets Sarah Smith clothes are eco-friendly reusable and washable and you know a bit posh Sarah Smith available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer proud sponsors of dumpty-dum fancy getting your mouth around something warm something comforting you can really get a firm grip on why not buy a dumpty-dum mug from the shop at dumpty-dum.com that was damn lovely. Good day everyone Millie Bell here just to comment on the subject of Calypso's interest in the arches that was raised last week you're right Calypso does sometimes land up listening to the arches when she's home from university I don't think she chooses to but it's on in the room and I say really quickly but she does tend to ask a lot of questions about what's happening and she got very incensed about what she believed was Brian's betrayal when I explained that he was the dad and he was talking about Adam she got really upset so I said well look you know if you're that strongly about it you need to phone him dumpty-dum and she did so she's not a fan of the arches yet but I'm an optimist. This week on our Facebook page I was interested to say that people still don't like Rob Tichina do they but let's start with the first question we asked was who wants to raise the glass to the happy couple apparently nobody does. Nancy Dickey said in the sense that the mere thought of being married to Tichina would be enough to drive anyone to drink I mean Delirie said I'll raise a bottle over Tichina's head and bring it down again hard and I have to say that Asha Wolf Robinson Margaret Jones Rosie Cross Vicky Berry Kate Newey Lorne of its Patrick Jackie Reese M. Johnson and Leo Horstmeyer Horstmeyer all agreed nobody wanted to drink to the happy couple we then asked who should we get to open the village shop Susan has left the possibilities hide open even though she is the only professional and the general consensus seems to be that people would like a row I feel and at Lucy to open shop which I think is something lovely idea someone else suggested Benedict Cumberbatch which I really like I love Sherlock and Denise Tom and that was Alexander Allport and Denise Tomlinson said I think Susan is totally genius gymnast in a tabard is just such a sensational and I did put up a post on Friday I was so amused so completely taken aback by the idea of Susan thinking that a tabard represents retail modernisation I just couldn't I couldn't type anything about it I couldn't say anything about it but eventually I managed to and said you know am I the only one that's been giggling over this and Kate Newey said oh I am in awe of Susan I wouldn't dare giggle such professionalism tabards I mean tabards and this if that isn't enough lame badges we all have so much to learn from her our tree rehabilitation scheme for ex prisoners wonderful Sharon Evans posted up a really good picture of an identity card and it's headed with finish shop Susan Carter chief got it and spite mung her you know that was a very official title Diane Talford said I was surprised she didn't suggest nice nylon uniforms oh gosh you are a funny lot so yes we'll have more to discuss next week I'm sure keep them coming we are increasing every week with a number of people who like our Facebook page so more and more people are getting involved go you and I will see you next week Lucy yes very quickly hashtag the arches tweets of the last seven days thank you much please Hemingway DM I have it on good authority that granny Heather has signed a three season deal with Amazon Prime AEC 0303 said people be in that caravan with the Trek slabs the bottle of vodka and some goose fat before you can blink dusty substances described Pat hearing the in investment is a good news about the wedding gosh you could almost hear Pat's delighted smile cracking like a pensioners knee joint double agent 73 said I'd like to toast my extraordinary granddaughter yes we all wish you would Jill and Dr. Wellington is a tweet of the week who said the foundations aren't cheap they are boss it's his premier Motown tribute act that's very good this is the end yes let's let's let's crack on with a little bit of dumb to dumb calm news we've got a forum on dumb to dumb calm and it's most awesome this week the debate can we call it the dumpty dumb forum or against them well why don't you log on for a change and go and change to make you exactly okay remember we're a partnership Lucy sorry yes okay yeah now debate this week has been about Rob and Helen in wedded bliss where Landis gentry 44 started the oh Adam thread I am perplexed by Adam I've always liked him and enjoy him showing that you can be gay and boring well not boring but the gay thing doesn't mean that you spend your life in clubs sniffing lines of coke of speedo clad go-go boys also on dumpty-dum.com we have Blind Spirits article which needs your comments are you team Charlie as Rob is concerned yes go get them slugger so go and log on if you needed any more reasons to remember we've got some merch on there and by the way shop news we need some bongs here or something we are moving the shot to zazzle.com away from cafe press because guess what do they do bongs no sorry what yes probably do actually the very with it you know on that zazzle.com I'm sure we could put our logo on and one of them bongs sticks or whatever they're called but anyway Lucy yes the real reason why we leave to zazzle.com is take a while guess think out I'll tell you they're cheaper no what well this is a bit of a worry folks right because you've got we do actually have our logo on a tea towel they sell it yay that's all dot-com yeah indeed who put it on let's take an ages it has but what's the bad bit yeah the bad bit is it seems to be a little bit pricey how much you normally pay for a tea towel I've no idea what would for ages well exactly eight quid or something well these are like 12 oh well they're special aren't they well Sarah would you Sarah Sarah would you spend 12 pounds on the tea towel yeah so audience research done right brilliant okay well then I don't need to feel bad and then I'm gonna whack the link in tomorrow so and we have some special because the nation has demanded it special bespoke we hate you Rob fucking titchin of details coming and you say that today no no because I said just a pet to cue you up sorry you think we'd actually got this double at working after like 70 episodes right because you see have written some pithy one line is haven't you I have I can't remember what they were great all right all right let's move on then but they're gonna be really funny folks trust us oh I wash my hands if you titch now was one isn't it that's that's pretty good that's pretty good are they all of that standard I think I'm a good hang on a minute I will I'll tell you what they were oh talk amongst yourself for a minute well I have a look Lucy this is this is I was gonna say this is great radio but it's not even that it's yeah right why don't we just move on okay and be able to click on to our website and see what puns you've come up with okay that's a good idea all that oh there we go look titchin of must die sorry titchin of must die I wash my hands of you Rob titchin of while I dry the dishes titchin of sleeps with the fishes and free free the ambridge one save Helen titch now actually that was worth the wait yeah they get I'm glad you ignored me and just plowed on regardless you are always glad when I ignore you Roy field and one day you will realize the benefit in me ignoring you now this week we've also had some of our great listeners sporting arm merch on social media we had Glenn full of love spreading the dumpty-dum gospel in the south of France in his manly dumpty-dum t-shirt with a spoon from the US on the move in Bonnie Scotland and dressed to impress sporting our wares and finally if you needed proof of the international of nature of the dumpty-dum world look no further than at Sarah CM knits on Twitter with Franklin at sorry at Franklin habit and at green side knits looking sexy smart and ready to crochet at Midwest knits this weekend at the Renaissance Hotel and Conference Center in Schoenberg Illinois US of A we got dumpty-dum merged four points of planning earth folks right now don't forget you can go to patreon.com we can donate two pounds a show which is patrons which is spelt P A T R E O N dot com four slash dumpty-dum we support the show which is for two dollars which is round about one pound thirty in real money and you can also donate to the show by going to our site and hitting the donate button order of John Archer news Lord never born has decided to look a little more closely at some of the application submitted as he only wants the right sort of chaps in the order but he assures us that this should be ready next week and there will be a new page and dumpty-dum dot com listing all those in the order and we will publicize it and the Johns yes Morgan NYNY we know that there is a colonial meaning to the expression Johns and of course this was furthest from our mind when we devised this most prestigious new order for the show we are not casting us versions on your anyone's moral attributes by naming them John not on this podcast no remember to get in contact you can send us a voice message via speak pipe on the site we can call us an 02031 3105 to leave us a message you can also find us on Twitter where we are at dumpty-dum waiting to eat me when I'm at Royfield me at Lucy V Freeman Sarah Smith at Sarah Underscore Smith or Sarah you know what Lucy what I enjoyed this week's show did you yeah I Sarah on and she was even last year than I am I was vile in a nice way she's smiling a good spirit you're a woman with opinions I that's what I would say you know a woman with pointed opinions and you know our podcast needs such a woman can you come on again listen sometime yes please mm-hmm we'll definitely get you one now normally at this point after we've done the you know the psychoanalyst the psychoanalysis of one of our guest dressed up as talking about the archers you know they they kind of thank us and leave lots of money on the side and then wander out the room and then the next guest comes in obviously obviously so how much do you think your counseling session was worth this week oh I don't know what do you reckon I think I mean I'm definitely gonna buy a tea towel though I wish I could get one that said I hate Rob fucking Titch you know when she wouldn't then use because you disagree you're a complicated you would cross it out and you know almost I'd like it for show so that other people then think that you know this was all just a joke and I am normal but um obviously definitely going in donating but I might have a few glasses of wine first to sort of loosen up my uh my Canadian fingers that's very good most of our purchases are made by people in an advanced state of rest we've decided yeah okay but how Sarah how does somebody who likes the archers end up working for the Sun because the two demographics don't readily overlap in my mind no they don't do they I don't think they do for me either um it's just great both of both things that are equally great but um as as you said I'm a complicated woman so I just like to like to mix it up and keep people guessing obviously and very diplomatic as well well both of them are nationally institutions aren't they it is true there you go that's maybe that's their sort of Venn diagram crossover so the next thing is probably is Buckingham Palace I could see with the press office at Buckingham Palace you have apparently you have to let tights all through the year if you work even the men's that's ridiculous absolutely well it's just a stop present where does doesn't make us pause listen dog is bugger up we'll we'll we'll catch on here at the time but listen thank you for being part of our little match thank you thank you so much for having me thank you bye bye 1800flowers.com is more than your birthday anniversary or just because gift giving destination we put our hearts into everything we do to help you celebrate all life special occasions with friends and family from our farmers and bakers florists and makers everything from 1 800 flowers is made with love every step of the way because we know that nothing is more important than delivering a smile to learn more visit 1 800 flowers.com/acast that's 1 800 flowers.com/acast forging ahead together drives Colorado's pioneering spirit at Chevron we donate funding and volunteer thousands of hours in support of the communities we call home we also employ our neighbors to 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