DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 68 – We all love Debbie

Podcast 68 hit the streets although Lucy was predicting locks of trouble ahead as she barged away in Cheshire. Debbie was central to the action this week as she was sorting out everyone’s problems at Home Farm with consummate skill, except Lilian who seems to have vanished. Ro.i.field listened to the very good monologue this week so heard the end of it. Lucy admitted embarrassment by feeling some sympathy for Kate’s passionate aims.

Ms Bertho was also touched by smooth diplomatic Debbie offering to fund Kate’s plans! Lucy also wants to re-organise everyone else’s kitchens, but she was on Pedigree at the time. Yokel Bear predicts that Brian will be unable to cope with retirement in complete contrast to Tony. Goddess Deeva returned with a bad back, newly engaged, on drugs and said that Brian cannot be allowed to retire citing the same reasons as Yokel Bear. Fifi Fanshawe provided a wonderful rhyme with ”50 ways to kill Kate”. It has been very busy on Facebook with the Ambridge-English dictionary whilst in TotW Toby told David he did not get a wink of sleep with Pip.

Kosmo

This weeks callerinnerers

Jacqueline Bertho who thinks Debbie is smooth
Yokelbear who is Lucy’s twin without the boobs
Calypso Archibald who thinks Brian’s unprofessional
Claire from Scotland via Canada who’s territorial
Andrew Horne who can’t be arsed
Goddess Deeva who’s engaged!
Fifi Fanshawe who is sick of Kate.

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 68 – We all love Debbie appeared first on DumTeeDum.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 1h 2m
Broadcast on:: 28 Jul 2015
Audio Format:: other

A little self-care can go a long way, especially amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays. That's where Vegamor comes in. Trusted by millions, Vegamor is all about giving your hair the love and care it deserves. With their vegan and cruelty-free formulas, you can nourish and revitalize your strands while indulging in some much-needed pampering. Because let's face it, who couldn't use a bit more me time this time of year? Go to Vegamor.com/acast - code ACAST - that's V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R.com/acast - code ACAST. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. With a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign, go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linked in, the place to be, to be. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. James Breeze for the poshia washer, proud sponsors of Dumtee Dum. This is Dumtee Dum the show, but the reality ducky drama that is centered on ambridge in the heart of the middle and time. The gold carriage clock that is Royfield Brown and with me have been adequate pension. Lucy Freeman. And the last part of our retirement package, folks, is you now. Today's rendition of Dumtee Dum was sent in by Claire from Scotland by Canada and some bubbles. Lucy? Oh, that was quite sweet. Very endearing. Can you remind our listeners all over the globe, all over the planet Earth. How they can win the accolade of Dumtee Dum of the week. Though, I've got some Dumtee Dum news, which I'll tell you about afterwards. Yes, if you'd like to sing us a Dumtee Dum, give us a plot prediction or have a go on the Sweetie Carousel. Ring us on 0203031305 or leave us a message on Speakpipe. Thanks to lovely chambourages for her amazing voices to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us and to Derek alone in the back bedroom. Derek has been practicing with the Morris Dancers all week, but he got a bit carried away in the fertility dance and now his handkerchief of purity is all sticky. Does your mom actually listen to Dumtee Dum? Does my what? She does, yes. You can look us straight in the eye afterwards, don't you? She says this doesn't happen, but I think she thinks there are only about 15 minutes long because she falls asleep quite soon into it and then she listens to it late at night and then she wakes up at the end, so she's always quite quick this week, wasn't it? Sounds like me in the latest Marvel superhero movie. Oh, really? You've had it off. I have trouble staying awake at movies, but that's another conversation because I don't get diverted now. I just stay on message and on track when I do Dumtee Dum. And guess what, we're going to have Dumtee Dum's galore. Are we? Yes, because your boy Andrew Horn and dusty substances both came up the same idea, independent of each other, which is tomorrow, tomorrow's due, get everybody to sing a joint Dumtee Dum and individual Dumtee Dum's. Oh, God, we'll have millions. Absolutely, and Andrew Horn says I've conducted many acquire oil fuel, so don't worry, I'll take it in hand. Yes, he's a surplus to requirements, haha, he was an ex-quire boy. Well, I'm most looking forward to meeting everybody tomorrow, but I'm not any jealous. Well, we're going to drink in your honour, we're going to have a little tipple in your honour, Lucy. And it's nothing. I'm drinking in my own honour tonight, I'll tell you what I'm saying, I'll be packing off, hit the beer already. Where are you off to? I am going on a barge holiday, which would basically be a week of me shouting, "Can I wait for the edge?" Yes, it's going to be fantastically stressful, I think, but everyone keeps telling me, "Oh, what fun it will be!" So I'm trying to believe him, it's my own inner voice. Will you crack open a bottle of champagne when you pass the equator? Can you marry people on there? I'll tell you what, I will crack open a bottle of champagne when I've got through the first lock without drowning, that will do. Well done. And now, on this week... I'm actually going to open on the lock itself. Hmm, that, that, tweet us a picture. On this week's show, we have Jacqueline Bertow, who thinks that Debbie is smooth, Yoko Bear, who is Lucy's twin, but without the boobs. Gallipso Archibald, who thinks Brian is unprofessional, Claire from Scotland via Canada, who's territorial, Andrew Horn, who can't be asked, and goddess diva, who's getting engaged. And we have a special message from Phoebe Fanshawe. We haven't heard of, for quite some time, it's thoroughly sick of Kate. But it's our fault that we haven't heard from her for quite some time, because she said to do it two weeks ago, and we kept forgetting to put it on, "I'm sorry, Phoebe!" I concur with our Lucy, very sorry Miss Fanshawe, but first, before we get to all the cooler rumours, let's have a little bit of loose in our last week in Ambridge. Bert claimed to have heard Frida telling him to pull himself together, and we should have a word with Kenton, too, as the architect wants to show Kenton the plans for the new kitchen. It just needs a huge freezer, a huge microwave, and a huge deep fat fryer. "I wish I had the energy to beat the cake like that," said Jenny Darling, obviously. "Oh, well, I've learned a lot from Alex," said Phoebe. Jenny Darling said it was hard to imagine Mike without trees. Yes, Mike without wood, sad times. Carol Toboggan has lost her ex-neighbors husband, thoughts go out, etc, etc. I don't know how she keeps going, I really don't. Susan has been reading Retail Week and wants to update the shop layout. There was a bottle neck by the biscuits, apparently, that'll be fat, Paul. They're going to have a red light outside, which might attract entirely the wrong sort of clientele anxious to enjoy a custard cream. Jim wants to move away from sweet kang cells, as the sherbet dips used to make too much noise as they whizzed around on their little horses. Susan wants collapsible bread cup baskets to attract people to her collapsible bread. Jim went a step further and wanted hypothetical collapsible bread baskets. Pat came to have a look and carried on pretending she'd never met anyone before. "Hello, I'm Pat, I own this farm, I think, have we met?" Over at home farm, Ed Vega has apparently got big muscles and kept squashing strawberries, so Adam moved him onto something else, or possibly her. Naughty Debbie is making Machiavelli look straight forward by telling Adam she'd poached him, then warning Brian that he might lose Adam. Then she completely lost her mind and announced that she was going to invest in her talented sister. No, not the wedding planning astrophysicist, Kate, talented, Kate, the three sisters that went for a ride together and there was a lot of "I were right Debbie, yes I'm fine Alice, can you get that Kate, Kate?" Just to make sure we didn't get confused as we are a bit thick. Horse is always come first with Chris apparently, which is probably why he gets paid the big money, especially when he's wearing that leather apron. So it's pip, pip, pip, she's off to Brazil where the nuts come from, one for the kids there. It's worse than death went well, and Kirsty was there, Kirsty and Debbie in the same episode two of "Ambridges Mightiest Women". Linda dressed up as a milk bade, Robert dressed up as a mole, and Elizabeth dressed up as a 99 and charged people 10p a lick. Ruth hit the drink, and has started hanging round bars in Jesmond. Usha went up to see her. "I'd run out of clords!" says Ruth cheerfully. "I could tell," said Usha, backing away with a hand over on those, "poor old Hever cannot even be controlled by a warden now. She's like a wild beast, countering hither and thither across Newcastle, waving her ditches around. But it's alright, because she's now met someone called Marvin House, who's going to look after her." Toby has started feeding the Goslings with chives, so they now come ready stuffed. He's quite done for stuffing pip, too, it seems. While he was salsa-ing pip around hollow tree, Charlie was whichering on about maize and grass mixed to Brian, and muddling the poor old sod up, who just wants to be left alone to run his million pound business from the comfort of his parkanole and his lafrege. And I know just how he feels, the end. "Oh, you kind of, you got smaller at the end there, Lucy, normally you go, 'the end!' And it's like you look like Shakespearean like actor, but you, hm, why was that? "I don't think you end there at the end." Well, I just, you know, normally, because you know I normally nod off or search on the phone for www.cora.com or something, but normally you wake me up with a proper start. Oh, sorry. So it's a good job of actually listening this week. I'll fire some sort of starting pistol, or something. No, I listen to every word I was wrapped, absolutely wrapped. Oh, I thought it was very good this week, actually. Good. Check. Now. Yes. Kate. Yes. One of our listeners, one of our most trusted and lovely listeners, has done a most excellent and rich indestictionary about our Kate. Oh, fruits. Yes. Yes. Which we'll mention right at the end of the show. It's top-cated. Mm-hmm. It's drinking a bottle of wine before your guests even arrive. I love that. And other people on the Twitter's on the new website, I started to join in because it is proper funny and very clever, but we'll come to Mr Rupert Brun and his ambush indestictionary at the end of the show. Okay. Um, thoughts and feelings on this week's go-ins-on in Borsicher? Well, I kind of found myself feeling a little bit sympathetic with Kate. Which, the words have left my mouth now, and I'm already embarrassed. I felt very sorry for Debbie because of her saying that she'd, I think the sub-tech was that she'd gone through the menopause and was now unable to have children, or was going through the menopause and couldn't have children anymore, because she sort of said that she persealed, didn't she? Mm-hmm. I mean, I think she's out of her mind describing Kate as talented, but I suppose maybe if you say to somebody, look, I think you have got potential, no matter how disastrously you've handled everything so far, I still think that you've got a chance. You know, that's all you can do, really. You can't just keep saying to somebody, look, you're an absolute knob, just, you know, pack it in and give up, because, you know, nobody can. You have to keep going somehow, Al. But I don't believe what she said about Lucas, and him, you know, him setting the children against her and all that stuff, but I don't know, she sounded like she was actually being honest for once, rather than just megalomaniac. She did say before that it was Lucas's family that had actually turned her against the kids when she first came back, didn't she? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I thought that scene was quite touching and actually quite believable that Debbie would say, you know what, I kind of believe in you. I think Debbie realizes that Kate kind of has no one, there's no one in a corner at all, and I wouldn't call what Kate has talent, but she's definitely passionate about her ego-centric solipsistic world, and if she can widen that out very slightly to create a set of services of which other people can get benefit from, of which she knows, understands, and believes in, you know what, it's spot on giving her money, because she'll be absolutely monofocused in, you know, in making that business work if she can do the business of business as opposed to-- Yes. I think she'd be very, very good at persuading people to do silly yoga classes and Reiki and all that pants, but it's the, you know, who, I cannot ever see her doing a text. Yeah, the yoga was pants, is it? Well, no, yoga's not Reiki is, but, you know, it's, I can't see her doing the tax return, I can't see her doing the VAT, I can't see her paying people's national insurance, I can't see her sorting out rotors and all that. She's a saleswoman because she's got that level of enthusiasm and passion that you said she genuinely believes that if everybody was more like her, the world would be a better place, which is very dangerous thing to think, but, you know, it's how the thing is actually going to run on a day-to-day basis, that's what I can't see at all. Well, there's no two ways about it. She couldn't run the business, the business of the business on her own. She could program the different types of events. She could conceptually put it all together. She could, you know, she'd be a great lead that way, but actually, I think she might get Linda to manage it. That is very clear. Yes. Because Linda is kind of believes in all that as well, is sort of into that and is super organised and stuff and is hanging around and then Roy can take on Linda's job. Linda can work with Kate. Lucy, have you just thought about this now? Yes. No, you haven't. I have. Have you really just thought about this musical cheers in Ambridge? Yes. I'm quite impressed. Anyway, go on, don't let me break your train of thought. Go on. Do you think, though, that an Adam is going to take over at the ball? Adam. Not Adam, sorry, Ian. He's going to become the executive chef at the ball. Is this after Kenton has given it its super duper upgrade? Yes. Yes. I think you're off beam there, but... Oh, really? You were impressing me up until that point. Everything you've said in this episode has been impressive until that. That's not happening. He's too big. He's too big for the ball. Too big for the ball. Yeah. Okay. Make of that what you will. And on that note, let's have some cornering-er-ers. Hello, Ambridge 3962. Hi there, Dundee-dammers. I'm Jacqueline Berto from San Gwen here. I saw the recording a bit early this week, so I thought I'd send something from the two or maybe three episodes I've listened to in quick catch-up mode this afternoon. I was very touched by Kate and Debbie's little conversation. I love hearing Tamas and you Grey. I think she's fabulous in everything that she does, but also to have a comeback and be Debbie and Debbie, she's a really smooth Debbie. On the whole conversation, I didn't know that she couldn't have children. I must have missed something or maybe this is the first time we're hearing of it. And then her offer to invest in Kate. I just hope that Kate will be a silly twerp and mess it all up. Or a PS because I'm so excited today. I forgot to mention it before I might actually be your official first real, real French person. I've had a letter from the minister today welcoming me to France nationality. And so now I am really and truly, well actually from the 24th of June, but I've only just got the letter Emily, my daughter, and I are now officially French. It's not exciting. Bye. Take care. Keep up the good work. Jacqueline Bertot, we have to give her Feliz Tasson, which is not easy to say when you've had a pint and a half of a pedigree. She is now French. Afisioli French. Very good. Well done, Jacqueline. She described Debbie as smooth. And I think that is a very accurate description of Debbie, summed her up beautifully. And I did think when Debbie said goodbye to Brian, who it was interesting, once she once Brian had given in and said, yes, all right, I will let Adam take over the world. Debbie immediately called him dad. And I think she uses that as a kind of a lovey, rudely do what I say. And everything will be all right, sort of thing. And he said, look after yourself, and she said, I always do. And I think she always does, for which we can only commend her. But yes, she's so good, Debbie. She's a proper grown up. She's a consummate politician, isn't she? Yeah. She knows how to work. So she worked Adam and Brian this week, gave me just about enough carrot. Well, she's given Adam literally pure carrot all the way, but there's enough carrot and stick with Brian anyway to get Brian to make the decision, which she wanted, which she believes is in the best interest of the farm, but also in the best interest of her sibling. And she realizes that, you know, he's not getting any younger and he needs, you know, he needs basically to take over the farm now and that Brian does need to move aside. So no, no, it was a consummate performance and it's a shame she's going because I genuinely thought there's going to be something, some kind of triangle between her and Ian. Yeah. And, um, God, Adam, no, her and Charlie. Oh, I see. And Adam. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Though she did, she has worked it out, hasn't she? Yeah, she has. And she didn't, she didn't make a fuss. She just talked about how devastating those kinds of things are, which was, you know, again, the consummate politician, yes, I think she should stand for chair of, uh, stand for leader. I'd vote for her easily, um, Claire from Scotland by Canada. Cleven's Scotland by Canada here with a call I've been meaning to make for ages. And I was only reminded I've been meaning to make it when Royfield won't ask, um, why is it that route theoretates so many listeners? She doesn't actually irritate me as much as I think she irritates quite a lot of people. But what does get on mind nerves particularly is the fact that she is perpetually caught out, surprised by, um, the existence of things like dinner and having to cook for it. And she is forever reminding me of a scene in Eleanor Lippins, my latest grievance, where when the daughter turns to her mother, who is meant to be some kind of liberal lunatic and says, mama's grand's coming to dinner. I've got instructions from the butcher on how to roast this chicken. And her mother says, what do you mean you've got instructions from the butcher? I could have shown you how to roast a chicken. She says, we never have done. And her mother says, no, well, I suppose if we'd had a son, we probably would have taught him how to darn socks and how to cook a chicken. We didn't want to feel femininity was defined by knowing how to cook. And at that point I did something I very rarely do with a book and I chucked it across the room and shouted, knowing how to cook isn't failing at feminism, it's a basic life skill. And I frequently feel that way about Ruth, I feel they worked so hard at making her into the farmer rather than the farmer's wife that they've kind of forgotten to round her out in other areas. Similarly, I quite like Christine and I did think that scene baking worked. Lucy, I don't know, you were clearly not as territorial as I am about a kitchen. I found it excruciating to listen to because Peggy was being an incredibly interfering baker. And had it been me, I would have chucked her out of the kitchen. Which is incidentally why I shall never leave with any of the friends I have made because we are all equally territorial about our kitchens. Looking forward to London, loving the podcast as I take care. Yes Ruth is continually surprised by the existence of the everyday. And I think she's absolutely right and she's put her, she's put her finger on it when she says they were so keen to make Ruth a farmer, they forgot to also make her a rounded person. And that's absolutely right, I really, really think that. And I am so with you about knowing how to cook is a basic life skill. It's nothing to do with being male or female or whatever else. You must learn to cook so you can not die, you can survive. And being territorial in the kitchen, yes I have to say that is me. And I always think matter how, you know, how much you love somebody, whether it's a friend or a partner or whatever. If you're in or a boyfriend or girlfriend, if you're in their kitchen, there will always come a point no matter how admiring you are of them when you find yourself saying well that's a bloody stupid place to keep the spoons. There is always other people's kitchens could be so much better organized if you were allowed to do it, but you're not. You just have to sit in your hands and you say, "Where do you keep the strainers?" And they say, "Here." And you go, "No." Because it's obviously a really thick place to keep them and they'd be much better off somewhere else, but you have to just go, "Ooh, okay." So yes, I take her point about Peggy and Christine trying to bake, co-exist and bake. It's a tricky business. Like you ever do it. What bake? Now, I'm sure you do, but you don't co-exist and bake. I imagine you shove everybody out of the kitchen and you just sit there with pom pomming away to whatever podcast you're listening to and everything, but I bet no one's allowed to talk to you or distract you or come in or do anything. No, no, no, no. I can easily share my space with just about anyone, to be honest with you. You haven't tried to share it with me. I'd be moving everything. I'd be moving everything. Who's next? Hello. I'm Calypso Archibald from Australia and I would just like to say that Brian should not have been discussing Adam with Charlie. It was entirely unprofessional and he needs to keep family farm business within the family and he especially should not be maddling off about private matters to people that they made you business with in the future. He was banged out of order. He was. And in fact, I listened to her call and then in this episode, Debbie said to Brian, "What do you mean you've discussed Adam with Charlie?" So she's clearly off the same mind, but yes, I knew it was making me feel uncomfortable for some reason, but I couldn't quite identify why, but it is that it's just massively unprofessional, isn't it? Incredibly unprofessional and just disloyal because ultimately it's a family business and any disagreements should be kept behind closed doors. Now, I understand Brian's frustration in one way in that Adam cancelled the May's contracts with Charlie before at least notifying Brian and that was wrong, but Brian's role really is to be older and wiser counsel and there is absolutely no way that he should be speaking to anybody outside of the family about this. It's one thing to speak to David that's extended family, but really to say do you think he's gone bonkers to Charlie? It was banged out of order and actually, I don't, the concept of business meant that Brian is, I don't really believe that he would actually do that in real life. Oh, I think he would because Brian is all about the ego and he's been dented. Well, in terms of this storyline, you understood the reason why it was done in terms of the storyline because he went to people who he respects as farmers and as business people, Debbie, David and Charlie and all of them said actually, we might not necessarily agree with absolutely everything that Adam's talking about, but he's a bloody good farmer and he's not stupid. So he realized that he was kind of snooker so to speak and that he was, and he even said it on Friday's episode, didn't he? I'm in a minority of one here, that everybody just thinks that Adam is actually the right person to be running the farm. So I have to relent. When Adam and Brian talk to each other, I don't get any sense that their family, Adam seems to have no, you can hear a genuine sense of affection between Debbie and Brian underneath this kind of frustration, this sort of exasperation, oh Brian, but with Adam, there is nothing like that. There's no one at all. You know what? I agree, I agree, but I actually think it's frostier on Adam's side towards Brian. Yes. Yeah. You know, because Brian plays it with a pretty straight back with Kate as well. Yeah. He's not like, oh, Kate, really, really happy to see you, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, but Kate is his child. No, no. But still, Adam's going to be his adopted son or whatever the heck, stepson, and, but Debbie isn't, you know, Debbie isn't his biological child and he thinks the son sounds like the proverbial. Yeah. Yeah. But I actually think that it's Adam who is frostier towards him and I think ever since he's come back into it in the mid 2000s, he's just thought you are stopping me from running this place. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. And I think he took a long time to get over the whole Rory thing as well. He wasn't in the discovery. It was, it was, he's definitely Team Jenny, isn't he? Well, definitely, because he's mother as well, but, but Adam's been great with Rory, though, hasn't he? Yeah. But I think, I think, I think he suddenly saw Brian's potential to hurt Jenny and he doesn't, he lost all sort of trust in him then. You could well be right. Maybe I need to go back and listen to those episodes. It is like 10 years ago, isn't it? Yeah. It is, it is some time. I think they're on the website, the BBC, the Archer's website at the minute. Debbie fighting out about Chavon. Let's go back and listen to him. Very good. Very good. Who's next? Lucy. Yokele Bear. I'm at Yokele Bear here calling from deepest Yokele show. I've quite enjoyed this week on the archers. I've really liked Debbie being back. I had a bit of a problem at first, just simply because I associated so much with their character in black books, of which I'm a big fan, that I kept expecting her to say, "Oh, Bernard." And then Bill Bailey to appear from somewhere. But she's been great. I mean, she's cut through all the crap, hasn't she? You know, straight in there with Brian, what the hell you're doing, giving Adam a bit of a chance. Now, I'm not a big fan of Adam, but he does deserve a chance to have his way of doing things. I think it's going to be interesting. I think she's been bought back by the script writers to kind of set up a plot line where Brian retires and then completely fails to cope with retirement. I don't know. I can't see him letting go, you see. And if he retires, it's not going to be like Pat and Tony. It's not going to be, "Hey, we've had a great holiday and now we're retired and it's great." Brian's going to really struggle with it if that happens. Yeah, I think Charlie's getting a bit more rounded out as a character. I particularly loved that exchange between him and Debbie when they first met each other. It was just joyous, the timing, the barbed comments, really, really enjoyed that. OK, bye. Yoke about you and I need to go out for a drink because we agree on everything. I can't listen to Debbie without thinking. What, you agree that Swindon is the greatest city for ungod's earth. He's now renamed it Yokele Bear Lanza. Yes, I just associated with black books and I'd just see her sitting there with lipstick smeared all over her face in a fagganging out the corner of her mouth. But yes, yes, but basically Yokele Bear and I agree on absolutely everything. So everything he said is what I think. So there we are. We don't need to go into that anymore. Thank you. Greetings, Dumpty Dummers. It's Andrew Horn here. Not been in touch for a couple of weeks because I haven't really been bothered, not with you, my friends, but with the archers, not much to spark imagination. Still all about generational change at Brooker's Bridge Farm and Home Farm. Each dealing with it in their own way. But what's happening with the real story? Rob and Helen are away on holiday. Wise and Charlie rifling through Rob's draw at Berro Farm, trying to find the elusive phone numbers and email addresses so we can bring a conclusion to Colvertgate. That's what I want to be listening to. I'm really enjoying diplomat Debbie and the way she switches from a subtle approach to a more direct approach and trying to get Adam and Brian on the side and deal with Charlie. I'm not sure she really is flirting with him properly. Hi, this is Christopher Kimbell from Milk Street Radio. I often shop at Whole Foods Market since they sell the kind of food I like. Big vegetables, a great meat counter, and of course, a great staff. For Thanksgiving, Whole Foods offers Brian Turkeys, as well as a spiral cut bone in ham. The Whole Foods Market Bakery has a large assortment of pies, even a vegan pumpkin pie, or grabs some brioche and butter flake rolls for the table as well. Or you can ask the Whole Foods team to cater your meal for you, including the bird, the sides, and desserts. Get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous to your contracts, they said, "What the f**k are you talking about? You insane Hollywood s**t." So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at Mint Mobile.com/Switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Show more about 40 gigabytes of details. To remind you that 60% of sales on Amazon come from independent sellers, farmer Bob of Princeton Popcorn, we'll read 60% of this ad, fire away Bob. Small business owners like myself are growing their businesses faster on Amazon by getting help with things like shipping. Shop small business on Amazon, especially Princeton popcorn, Amazon, every day back. Better. I think she's toying with him like a cat and a mouse and he seems to be a bit powerless in front of her. That's all much fun. And now coming back to Ruth, topic for the last few weeks. Why does everyone, except with a spoon, dislike Ruth? And I don't think it's that people dislike her. My view is it's her accent. She just sounds like a perpetual winch bag. She opens her mouth and it's a drain, a drone, winch, winch, winch. That's what I don't like about Ruth. Anyway, this is Friday, so looking forward to tomorrow, hoping it won't be too wet as we trek across London. Lucy, you can take the weather with you on holiday and lose it somewhere in the sea. And speak to you all soon. Andrew Horn wants to know why isn't Charlie rifling through Rob's draws in an effort to put an end to culvert gate. I think Charlie's trying to fight everyone else off rifling through his draws, to be honest. There was more sexual tension this week with Kate getting all breathless and Debbie was sort of sparring this faux kind of faux I'm very across with you, you know, business. I'm starting to feel quite sorry for Charlie by the end of it. But yes, we need to have an end to this bloody Stefan thing, don't we? Well, I can't believe that Charlie is not above a bit of skull doggery. And I really think that if I had an employee like Rob who was a shifty as Rob and Rob went away for a week, I would be in there like buggery trying to hack his email and everything else. That makes me sound dead professional, doesn't it? And Godess Deaver, congratulations, Godess Deaver! Hello dumpty-dum, Godess Deaver here, back from the Worlds of Dorset, where I got ended up with a damaged back and engaged, so one, one, yay! Because of damaged back and painkillers, I've not really been able to keep my head straight so I wrote some notes about this week's The Archers and see if they make any sense now. Kirsty, welly-wanging, woo! Lizzie lost her purity hanky when she used it to mop up her ground sheet. I think I was being quite rude, I'm not quite sure what's going on there. Jennifer is happy to watch Brian smash stuff with his balls. So, Tom and Kirsty are studying awkward and are studying Kirsty being bloody marvellous and... Brian, talking to Brian, he cannot be allowed to retire, you just can't. He would be nightmare, all he would do is moan at Kate, put beef paste on her tofu and tell her how useless she is, and we all know how useless she is, but we don't need that to be as raised on Denscha, so no, Brian cannot be allowed to retire. And Jill's Raspberry Jam! Why, how can she get so fucking excited over Raspberry Jam? Seriously, I'm talking about seriously, bloody piss off Kenton, you're getting right on my nerves though, everybody's trying with you and you've got on my last nerve, I've got no more blooming patients. I'm finding it hard to read my own handwriting out, bloody love Debbie, yes, bloody love Debbie. Hooray! Hurry up and piss off to Brazil, Pip. Yep. What music is Usha and Ruth listening to, when Usha goes up to the new castle, wherever she's blooming gone, it's the blooming arches, not a fort, it's detective film chutz, it was all a little bit, nice jazz club. So yeah, that's my rambling, my pain-colored rambling, hopefully I'll be less off my tits next week, and I have to say, I will speak to you next week, you've got to Steve without. Two lots of congratulations for this week. Is this the first dum-dee-dum nuptials? It is. Oh no, no, John the First. John the First. John the First. John the First. John the First. John the First. John the First. John the First. John the First. Yeah, it depends. Wait a minute. Have you had your official invite for John the First wedding? No. Me either. I thought my hat, obviously. Wait a minute, should we revoke his night ship? He could, yeah. I think he should, he can be the honorable John until he, until he, until he. I think just call him just Bloody John. Bloody John. Just Bloody John. Until he issues false with the invitations. Absolutely knighthood. Are we wrong? The full zip down, didn't we? We're not going to do that buffet nonsense. Absolutely. And I want to be... We are called smoked salmon, some mayonnaise that's on the turn, and a bit of watercress. And a pavlova, as that is what you eat at a wedding, oops. I want to be there for the ceremony too. Always feels short changed if I'm told just to come, come for food or the, or the disco. If I'm going to a wedding, I want the whole kitten caboodle. Don't palm me off for just the disco. Do you know what I mean though, Lucy? Oh, he wants to palm you off. Right. Good. Good. Particularly not at a wedding. Uh, yes, she says piss off Kenton and Hera, Kirsty is back. Yeah, the music caused very odd in that wine bar. I don't know, I don't know what sort of, I don't know, well, I can't imagine that Ruth, those shit from Chainolo when it comes to, you know, picking good venues to meet. There are several people I would trust to pick a suitable, uh, you know, bar, probably Kira would be more likely to do it than that. That's a bit harsh. But you know, have you ever been to Jezmond? No. It's very nice. Is it? Yes. Have you not? No. It's very, it's just a very appealing place. Um, no, it's very pretty, you know, kind of down by the river or it's the bridges across the gate. It's very pretty. But Jezmond is just north of the city center and it's kind of where all the, uh, slightly more grown bars are because my God, does that tangent rowdy at the weekend? Ah, okay. Yeah. It's bonkers rowdy. So that's why they wouldn't meet up in the center. Oh God, no. They'd meet somebody like Ruth would be in Jezmond. Okay. Right. Right. Uh, I get it all right like that. It's good as well. Well, yeah, they kind of do their research. Yeah. That's what it is Lucy, you know, to be fair, to be fair. We do pay, you know, 145 pounds a year for them to get this stuff right. Yeah. Mm. Every penny of it well spent. Absolutely. All right. That's it for lay calls. Mm. No emails? Uh, no. Oh. Fifei Fanchor. Ooh. Let's have a touch of Fifei right now then. Hello. Fifei Fanchor here. I know over the past couple of weeks, like many others, Kate Aldridge has got so far up my nose. I'm going to need Diner on to get her out again. I've just been forced to put pen to paper. Kate Aldridge, do I hate her? No need to stop and think. I'd stuff her down the waist disposal in a mother's sink. And hit her with a poker, choker, smoke her like a kipper, strap her to the rails of Blackpool Pleasure Beach, Big Dipper. Suffocate her with a cushion, pillows, duvets, rocks, and make her eat both Joe and Eddie Grundy's on washed socks. In case they're heading concrete, chuck her in the river am, beat her around the temples with a frozen leg of lamb, throw her like poor Nigel off the lower Locksley roof, and sure that she got trampled under raging bovine hoof, fire her from a cannon over Lakey Hills tree tops, fill her flapping mouth with hydrochloric acid drops, bash her head on Kentons until one of them saw sense, if not then nail them both to Brookfield's best electric fence. Use her for an anvil in Blacksmith Countess Forge, make sure she was buried somewhere deep as cheddar gorge, feed her so much laxative she'll spout crap from both ends, shove her in a Kenwood chef and watch her as she blends, take her on safari and lever out his bait, just make the bait stop talking, oh god how I hate Kate, I hate Kate too, no, but I love to hate her, thought we've said this before, right so let's take a quick five minute break, come back with a touch of Millie and then go into our hashtag #TheArchesTweetsArbWick. Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dumpty Dum, if you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets, Sarah Smith Cloths are eco-friendly, reusable and washable, and you know, a bit posh, Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posher washer, proud sponsors of Dumpty Dum. Fancy getting your mouth around something warm, something comforting you can really get a firm grip on, why not buy a Dumpty Dum mug from the shop at www.dumdidum.com, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store, go to the store and go to the store, go to the store, go to to cause. Irradicate to eliminate an unpleasant pest. Fabricate to make up excuses for one's failings. Fornicate, the result of mixing equal parts of a mature woman, young man and alcohol in a swimming pool, garnished with rattle. Indelicate, the act of entering the bedroom of a teenager without first seeking permission. Intoxicate, the direct result of lubrication and medication. Lubricate to drink expensive wine in the belief that it will make you easier to get along with. Medicate to drink expensive wine in the belief that it will cure social ineptitude. Cravaricate, to put off writing a business pen and go horse riding. Suffocate, the consequences of all the air in a room being consumed by someone self-pity. Trunkate to cut short a relationship. Vacate, when the source of an unpleasant atmosphere leaves the room and finally vindicate the belief, usually brought about by drinking an expensive wine, but one was right all along. That's absolutely wonderful. I do hope you managed to post that onto our website, Roped, and if you can't, let me know and I'll do it for you. We asked you if you could tell us about someone who's influenced your life. Rosie Cross said to her friend and fellow artist enthusiast, Alex, who famously told her to defrost Grow Cross. That is stopping such a pessimist from time to time. And also Dolly Parton, who is also an all-round legend, whose music and rhinestones remind me to do said defrosting and that it's okay to look completely OTT if it takes your paths. Doug Font said, "Captain Robert Walbridge set me on the path that I followed for the past seven years." Jacqueline Bertho said, "Mr. Barnby, my junior school teacher, for the last two years at Alan Drive Juniors, who through bullying sharpwags with a ruler and the slipper forced me to learn my tables, alternative words would get and got and how to mix washing up liquid with powder paint for a better effect, all skills which I've been trying to use for the last 50 years." Vicki Berry said, "Tony Ben, he gave a speech at my student union in 1982, which completely opened my eyes and showed me how political decisions and government policy directly affected me and what was happening in my life. It sounds obvious, but when you're 19 and very naive, it isn't." Then came the minor strike in Greenham Common, neither of which I would have really understood or supported if it hadn't been for him putting it all in context. Mark Everton, "Not only is he my teacher," says Dee Leary, "but he's also my friend, a mutually assured destruction partner, and he also introduced me to my fiancee, oh and also to the archers." Well that was lucky. And Claire Steep said, "Miss Allfoot was the first formal music teacher I had, and I hold her single-handedly responsible for introducing me to the opera by way of a very bad VHS production in common, insisting against all of that I was indeed a soprano, shoving masses of German down my throat, and an enemy with a love of all things leader as a result, and writing one of the references that brought me to St. Andrews." I said, "All of that went in after she insisted I would someday write something meaningful, and generally gave me much of the confidence I am possessed of as a result. I still haven't written with something meaningful, but I plan to." Absolutely fantastic, and I do feel as though we're getting to know you very well. We also asked you, "If you had to give one sage piece of advice to an Ambridge resident, what would it be?" And you had a range of answers. Sue Hopkinson said, "David, you should get rid of their bread when before it's too late." Vicki Berry said, "Pit, put them away dear, less is more." Rosie Cross said she would tell Helen, "It is perfectly okay to have a job on a child. It is perfectly okay to dress exactly how you want to dress. It is perfectly okay to have friends around without consulting your partner first. These are parts of a normal, healthy relationship." Stephen Porter wants to tell Kenton to just chill out and lighten up everything is going to be fine. Heidi Griffiths says she wants to tell David to take those rose tinted glasses off where papers confirm she's a lazy man who ought to be pulling her weight more around Bookfield. M. Johnson would tell Kate to get a job, "To work for yourself is worth far more more money from Dad." Jack Rice said Kenton, "Grow up and take some responsibility for your situation and recognise that those around you want to help you not patronise you." Andrew White wants Pip to know that those brothers are swine. Andrea Melling would tell Helen to run more advice for Kenton, stop whining and grow some and the recipes family, stop trying to talk him round. Leave him alone and he'll be back because he won't be in the centre of attention anymore. Andrew Horn wants to tell Adam to forget Charlie in his ten times the man he is and Mark evidence says Adam back off mister because Charlie's mine. Becky Land said, "Charlie, if you are thinking of pursuing another grinds offspring, do it somewhere Adam can't see." Like Hungary, Pete Mavot said, "To any character, do not go on holiday. You may come back a very different person." Kate Newey would advise Haley to come back to Anchorage and save her daughter from her daughter's mother. And Kate should read Bertoli Brex, a Caucasian chalk circle, not that she realised why it was applicable. Andy Bent also has advice for Adam, "You need to make your mind up what you feel for Charlie. Tell him, stop messing the poor sort about and stop treating your hubby as an emotional insurance policy in case you get left on your own rather than someone you want to be with. You can't spit your dummy out because Charlie wants you to keep on growing maize, flounce back to hubby, then start running interference when somebody else flirts with Charlie. And I'm going to give the last piece of advice from Witherspoon, Pima Kosh Wilson, the 33. These are all excellent pieces of advice. It seems that the residents of Ambridge are in great need of our help. So his advice is that they should all start listening to Dumpity Then. Lucy Lucy Lucy, hit us with your top tweets. Polar Dog 56, "Would Ruth's mum please shuffle off this mortal coil and bait me for a younger, more interesting subplot?" The entire life and death has just been, you know, denigrated to the role of subplot. A old bod said, "I swear my wife listens to the archers' podcast in the shower just so I don't try and join her." I just made me laugh. And now this, I couldn't make this tweet to the week because no one else might think it was funny, but I just thought it was, there was something about it that very much appealed to me. Now, I can't pronounce, uh, seared Pontier. I don't know how you pronounce it, but it was obviously in the middle of a strident conversation with lots of other archers' people. And it was the most Alan Bennett thing I've ever heard. He basically, when he said, "Genie had four children by three fathers. I think she knows how to make cocoa." That is the most, most English innuendo I've ever heard. And I see somebody nice looking, I bet he knows how to make cocoa. Elizabeth Bounds said, "If this is a pick goes for right, brother, wrong, brother storyline, it would help if we A) cared and B) knew which was which." I still have no idea. I actually don't know which is rex and which is Toby. When they're saying, "Oh hello Toby" and the other one after, which is rex, I still don't know Lucy. There was quite a lot of Twitter chat after the bit where Toby kissed Pip with people going, "Who was that? What was going on?" Someone said, "That was a Brian, was it?" And the stick. Lucy. Yeah. Can I interject? Okay. You didn't make reference to the kiss, did you? No. Why is that? Because A) it annoyed me and B) it wasn't really anything. It needs to develop some more because if she has got the slightest iota of sense, which I'm beginning to think she hasn't, she will just dismiss it as he is the type of bloke that does that with pretty much, you know, he tries it on with every woman he meets. She'll hopefully just think, yeah, dick, and then move on to somebody else or get on with her life and go to Brazil and all that. If she then transpires that she is an absolute banana and is going to change her plans because of him, then, and not before then, will I address it? All right. I've been told. I have been told. What did you think of it? It was suitably ambiguous in that it obviously wasn't a full-on snog. No. But you don't know if he gave a lingering one on the lips or a lingering one on the cheek. Yeah. You don't know. All you know is that he's done its delivery just to mess with her head a little and her head has been messed with a little, but you don't know how full on that kiss actually was. Yeah. Yeah. Which takes us nicely into Tweeter the Week. Oh. Which was John is very catchy Twitter handle. John Cauve 2009 2-2-3-4-2 said, "David, did you sleep with my daughter, Toby? Not a wink, mate, not a wink." Very good. Very kind of slimy-gipped thing that Toby would say. You sure it's Toby and not Rex? No, it was Toby. Okay. So you actually do know who's who? I do. And now I know. Yeah. It took a while. Yeah. I still don't like Charlie and Tom talking to each other, mate. Right. We've gone through this at a proper click. This is good Lucy. This is good. I like to do the next show on Pedigree, hadn't I? We record at nine o'clock in the morning, so it might not be such a good idea. Might knock out the rest of the day. We wouldn't want that. Lucy? Yep. I've had a whole load of fun with you this week. Now, I thought last week was a little bit strained. Didn't you feel the tension between us last week? No. Should I have done? Oh. So, yeah. Because you are the talent, sometimes, you know, your mood can be a little bit kind of a little bit, you know, but you are the talent, so I just got to treat you kind of with good gloves. But you've been in absolute joy this week, so thank you for that, Lucy. No, I mean, you've left me absolutely nowhere to go now, for you. Just reverse me up a really, really narrow alleyway, and now I'm stuck. It's hard for that. You know, I love you every week. But anyway, folks, go to DummyDum.com to try our new website. Or you can comment on the shows, and where you, good listener, can go and create your own little bit of DummyDum by creating a profile and an article on anything arch is related. Now, DummyDum.com news. There is a forum, and the forum needs your contribution to Rupert Brun's excellent, I say, fantabulously excellent Ambridge English Dictionary. Here are just three funny entries, abdicate. To deny all responsibility for the consequences of one's actions. Or authenticate. The act of proving you are who you say you are by acting entirely as those who know you predicted you would. And communicate. Shouting, stop, wait, listen to people who are running away from you with their fingers and their ears. There are loads of these that Rupert did, and other people are joining in and adding things to our Ambridge English Dictionary. So please go on to DummyDum.com and hit forum to add away. Also, we have a contribution from our very own Cosmo who's now doing summaries of the podcast on every show. So you have even more reason to hit on our show pages, folks, to see Cosmo's contribution, and then you can also comment on that as well. So thank you, Cosmo, for joining our team. Nice. I know. He's a proper brickysr Cosmo. Yes. He is. Now, you can go on to patreon.com, which is P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com for said DummyDum. We can support the show for about $2 an episode, which is about $1.30. And you can also donate to the show by going to our site and hitting that donate button. Oh, and we saw Claire, Claire from Scotland by Canada. Yes, yes, yes. With her super duper hoodie, looking very, very lovely, and I'm going to be meeting her tomorrow. She's coming along to the do. We're meeting everybody. I'm meeting, who else are we meeting tomorrow? Oh, I tell you I'm meeting tomorrow. It's quite easy to tell you I'm meeting tomorrow. But you do, Lucy. Whilst I'm talking to you, I go on to a thing called the book of bass and then I click on who's going and then it tells me. Karen Rudd, Denise Tomlinson, Angela Nagle, Witherspoon, Paul Charles Wilkins, Nancy Dickey, Vicki Berry, Katherine O'Sullivan, Andrew Horns, Sarah Hides, Jennifer Preston, Katherine Cavanaugh, Mark Everdon, Catherine Richards, Kate Nichols, Claire Steep and Alison Jones, and Sarah Hides Hubby, and Paul Charles Wilkins is bringing a pal. It's going to be most awesome, but it's not going to be a full dumpty dumpty. I don't have dumpty dumpty without you. I'm going to be in Cheshire trying to make my dog wear a life jacket. Do you foresee that being a big problem? Well, we've already done a dry run, so to speak, and I got his cock caught in the velcro. So now he's... It's what caught in the velcro. Cock. His penis. So now he's doing a mortal fear of the life jacket. The understandable, really. Yeah. So I'm going to be, if anyone is in the Nantwich region and he's a high-pitched screaming noise it'll either be me or the dog, I'm not sure, but you carry on with your drink in and you're carousing in West London, I'll be fine. We will. Yeah, I know you bloody will. And we will send pictures and we will tweet about it to a heart's content. I'll send you a picture of the dog in a life jacket. And his penis caught in a velcro, please don't. Yeah. You can call us folks. Have we done the speak pipe thing? I don't remember. Yes, we have. Well, everyone knows anyway, don't they? Go to speak pipe and talk into it. There you go. And you can call 01030313105, leave a message. No, no one ever does anymore. No. Other than your friend. No. Oh, you can find us on the twitters as we're at, dumb, you're dumb, or you can tweet me at Royfield and everybody knows how that's felt. Or Sarah Smith at Sarah_Smith. You're not on Twitter anymore, Lucy. Nah. That's a damn lie. Well, I'm on it, but I don't use it anymore. I've just got bombarded with spam, I'm fed up with it. Really? Yeah. It's like, you have got seven new followers, and they're all ladies of their boobs out, telling me that they're bisexual, and if I follow them, they'll follow me back immediately. And they've all got unlikely names. Like astral vent and things like that, and I think, mmm, you're not real. Because they might be, mightn't they? Maybe I just hold a certain fascination for bisexual, large-chested ladies called astral vent. Who knows? Maybe this is something I should capitalise on. I don't know. I'm not sending you pictures of that. What time do you leave tomorrow? Back of sparrow-fart, six, I think. Well, you'll probably need to continue with your packing. I will. I'm going to continue with my pedigree. I'm going to drink myself into a stupor and then just come to it six o'clock in the morning with everybody shouting at me, probably. I will develop some enthusiasm for this trip. I will, I will, I will. Good. Mmm. Mmm. What are you going to do while I'm away, apart from have fun with all our friends? Um, having some drinks with a spoon on Monday, it's my nephew's 25th, sorry, it's my nephew's 21st on Sundays, that's a bit of a family do. And I think I might then go to Birmingham on Tuesday for a few days. Keep my head down. Ooh. What are you planning on doing at your nephew's 21st that requires you to go into isolation for the rest of the week? I think you've missed out a valuable bit of information which I've told you. I'm going, I'm having cocktails with a spoon on Monday. And then you're running away to how I do that. Mmm. Ah ha. Okay. Well that makes more sense then. There you go. There you go. There you go. Just with a spoon. No, what do you expect? He does. Okay. I'm sure I'm going to disappoint him massively. I'm sure you won't. I will. So, Lucy the Freeman, goodbye. See you next week. See you. Bye. Bye-bye. Love. Kenny's family healthcare benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. With two kids, he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's on-the-job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that too. It led to a bigger paycheck, so he was able to get his youngest son a drum roll please. Drum set. Next up, drum lessons. Learn more at about amazon.com, Amazon, Everyday Better. Forging ahead together drives Colorado's pioneering spirit at Chevron. We donate funding and volunteer thousands of hours in support of the communities we call home. We also employ our neighbors to deliver the energy needed as the state's largest oil and natural gas producer. All to help improve lives in our shared backyard. That's Energy in Progress. Visit Colorado.chefron.com. (gentle music)

Kosmo

This weeks callerinnerers

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 68 – We all love Debbie appeared first on DumTeeDum.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.