DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 67 – The BBQ

Podcast Summary – Episode 67

In less than an hour DTD covered 75 minutes of The Archers with Roifield admitting that he cannot now imagine the programme without a fucked up Kate in the village and later took to explaining mortgages which is Kosmo’s job! Roifield also guided children on how to discuss sex with their parents whilst there was extensive acclamation for the dysfunctional family BBQ at Home Farm with Lucy asking for it to happen every week.

Paul Roome has been on holiday fantasising about Sabrina whilst Aunty Jean returned to call Kate “obnoxious”. The generational (r)evolutions happening at Home, Bridge and Brookfield Farms were discussed as we are hearing the batons being passed onto a younger generation in each case. The well written rapprochement between Roy and Phoebe was noted alongside evidence of Roy’s rehabilitation. On Facebook Lilian was the most popular dinner invitee. In closing we were all reminded about the wonderful new website where we can message one other or exchange parting shots!

Kosmo

Lucy’s Monologue

This weeks callerinnerers

Miss Mid City who is counting on Ian,
Paul Roome who’s gone au naturel
Aunty Jean who has some advice for Kate
Kosmo who sympathises with Adam
Jon from Newcastle who’s having a nice cringe
Blithe Spirit who wants a cheer for Roy.
Witherspoon who’s been enjoying Debbie’s return

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 67 – The BBQ appeared first on DumTeeDum.

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Duration:: 1h 2m
Broadcast on:: 20 Jul 2015
Audio Format:: other

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at Mint Mobile dot com slash switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of detail. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B. But with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn dot com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn dot com slash results. Terms and conditions apply, LinkedIn, the place to be to be. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. Hello, I'm Sarah Smith, proud sponsor of Dum T Dum. If you want to polish up your Albion, give your optics a wipe or even mop up after you ferrets, Sarah Smith cloths are eco-friendly, usable and washable. You know, a bit posh. Sarah Smith, available from Sainsbury's for the posh show washer. Proud sponsors of Dum T Dum. [MUSIC] This is done, we've done the show at the reality duct drama that is sent an ambridge in the heart of the middle and some of the Hungarian. Folk dance, that is Royfield Brown and with me have the Gulash, that is Lucy Freeman. And the last part of our Debbie Aldrich's visitation, folks, is you. Now, today's rendition of Dum D Dum was sent in by Alvin with his chipmum buddies. Lucy, can you remind our listeners how that went, the accolade of Dum D Dum of the week. We say this every week, they don't, they do not call. They don't know. No, they say, oh, that's interesting. They're saying that thing again. No one, no one, it's a call to action, chaps. I think this is how people hear Dum D Dum of the week. What they hear is this, this is Dum D Dum, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Lucy, tell us about the last week in ambridge, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then it's like it's over, that's it. They listen out for themselves on the call, that's it. Exactly. For those that do listen, tell them how that when the accolade of Dum D Dum of the week. If you would like to sing us a Dum T Dum, give us a plot prediction or a tar and move to Hungary. Ring us on 0-2-0-3-0-3-1-3-1-0-5 or leave us a message on Speakpipe, thanks to lovely sandwiches for our amazing voices, to Sarah Smith for sponsoring us and to Derek for the loan of the back of our drum. He's keeping up his interest in 'Keep Fit' and has bought one of those exercise bands that record your sort of your rapid wrist movements but it must be playing up because yesterday he apparently walked 397 miles. I've got a clean cold hole though. Well I will have when he's finished. That's been making me laugh at all of a week, I'm such a child. On this week's show we have Miss Mid City who's counting on Ian, Paul Roo, who's got no natural, Auntie Jean who has some advice for Kate, with a spoon who's been enjoying Debbie's return, Cosmo who sympathises with Adam, John from Newcastle who's having a nice cringe and belive spirit who wants to cheer for Roy, but first, before all the juicy calls, let's have loose with our last week in Ambridge. We had a day out at the cricket. Paul Higgins is a very decent left-hander, according to Adam, I don't know how he found that out unless he was in the hedge at Lower Locksley as well on New York City. Presumably he's good at cricket too though, and Ian is back sounding as mystified as Brian, Charlie, Debbie and the rest of us are about Adam's maze related mid-life crisis. Charlie is sulky like a sulky sulky sulky, last week he tried to tell Adam's daddy to sort Adam out, this time he wants Adam to tell Titchy knob off because he left him hanging out at Silly Midoff for something ridiculous, rescuing daddy issues anyone anyway, he suddenly said "I don't want to lose you Adam" but he never had him, Adam was too busy worrying about something going straight down deep mid-wickets throat, maybe Paul Higgins was at deep mid-wicket I don't know, Titchy knob had a good laugh at the idea of a gay man being interested in cricket, oh that was nearly as funny as the idea of a man helping with the cricket tease, Brian is still on the verge of cardiac arrest with annoyance with Adam saying "We're not patterned Tony, we're not two retired crap pops operating a carrot shop, we are a multi-million pound international operation rung from Hungary by a woman on Skype, the fair brethren are slowly turning the heat down on the Goslings apparently, they should not be cooking them before they grown up, they'll be completely overdone by Christmas, bloody amateurs, I expect Elizabeth will be interested in hearing what you're up to" said David, "if Toby thinks Pip is a good catch wait till he realises how many Goslings he can fit into lower Locksley, there is nothing like a jolly family reunion and the one at home farm was indeed nothing like a jolly family reunion, Debbie pulled up in the yard at home farm in what sounded like a diesel tanker, to discover a bit of a frosty atmosphere between Brian and Adam and Jenny and Kate and Kate and Phoebe and Jenny and Roorie and Brian and Jennifer, Jenny Darling made it worse by trying to force lemonade on everyone as if they weren't all acidic enough, Kate then suddenly went mad and shouted "Fish are changing gender" so she's clearly got whatever it was that Alistair had when he started shouting "Whis paintings, I think they should both move into the laurels and I wish them joy of it" Ruth was trying to express her worries about Heather Pet and her amazing performing teeth that had bitten one of the nurses or something, but David was fretting because the feed company had sent the wrong sort of pre-carver. Pre-carver is that the bottle of Prosecco you drink while you wait in the carver to chill? Those cattle have a good bloody life. Kenton has gone into heavy sarcasm mode. Oh thank you, oh how kind, oh shut up Kenton, the ever-perceptive shuler failed to pick up on this completely and said "oh it's so good to hear you're sounding so positive" meaning "it's good to hear you're sounding so psychotic" Elizabeth had a little chat with vvattrex and kept asking his age presumably to do some rapid calculations and establish A whether or not he could have been her child and B if that means if it's feasible for her to have an affair with him. There was a very confusing interlude in which Debbie handed in her notice she is bored of home farm and is going to become finance minister of Greece so she is passing on everything to Adam who is also leaving. I'm not sure you can pass things on to people who aren't there anymore but I was too entertained by Brian doing a passable limitation of King Lear after all I've done for you to care. Alex and Phoebe can take it on in between having very responsible sex and getting A-starred A-levels. So much is being made of how very, very safe they are being. I have visions of Alex wearing three condoms at once and Phoebe wearing a decontamination suit. Alex, Quebec's operation, go, go, go. Now I may be imagining things all going out on a limb here but I don't think Jill is a massive fan of the fair brethren you know and I can see why. They do seem to combine hugely intrusive behaviour with massive cheek. Rex in particular seems to have developed a crush on the entire archer's family popping up from behind Shenzhen wheelbarrows saying "What you doing? Can I come? Oh sorry David are you having a poo? Don't worry they'll now just chat to you through the door." They also installed a campsite at Hollow Tree. They'll have to keep Elizabeth back with cattle prompts as once she cops loads of Toby and his undercrackers she'll be hauling him through her tent flaps before he knows what's hit him. The end! That's a triumph. Well done. Oh quite tired now. I quite liked the middle bit. Did you? Yeah but the beginning bit was good also and the end then was stupendous. I thought it all worked as a wholesome thing. At the beginning a middle and an end. That was one. Yeah that's but my favourite bit was definitely the middle. But well done Lucy. Are you just trying to prove that you're... is this your attempt at making me think that you've been listening? No I was looking at Quora.com. I was reading about why didn't the communists use East Berlin as a showcase but actually they did and that's what they answered. Oh good. But I did actually listen. Yeah yeah yeah. So what was your favourite bit of the last week in Enbridge? I think actually. I did love the ache born like. Can I tell you what I enjoyed? Because you were just slightly in ages. This gets to the point Friday was awesome. I loved that barbecue. Yes I loved Kate shouting at Phoebe. She's just because someone said there's something on social. That's what I made her have to do. That's what often gets us. I love the fact she'd drunk at a tie bottle of wine before anyone else had even arrived. Where was Alice? Yeah Christopher. They haven't got any children. The older days are shedding children. I told you it's one in one out. As soon as one new one arrives they'll want us to go. But there is some. Quora Ruari doesn't know. There are a word in edge ways in between bobbing footballs through people's windows. Oh Ruari well you'll keep the noise down. That's you know he's silent about being shouted at Paul Little sod. Did you like the Roy and Phoebe chat? Yes I did. I thought we're talking about bad parenting and then you see an example of really really excellent parenting. He didn't make a first he didn't make it about him. He just said we just want you to you know be safe and be happy. Who Ruari? No he's starting to redeem himself isn't he? Yeah he is. Roy the Redeemer. Yep but this Debbie Aldridge and Charlie Malarkey is that going to be the triangle because old Charlie's bats for both teams doesn't he? Yep well for a start Debbie sounds about 20 years older than Charlie. Not something wrong with that. But you obviously do think there's something wrong with that because otherwise you wouldn't even have mentioned it. Yeah I think it's I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think it's unusual because I think Debbie would think he was an annoying little chunk but doesn't she have somebody in Hungary? I thought she did. I thought she did as well but that doesn't stop anybody does it and she was supposed to be going and she's she's not now going and the dynamic is weird isn't just you sack to me. She is actually interested in him. Yeah there is a flirty flirty. Yep and he's trying to reverse somewhat and not be confrontational but she's apparently she's up and in his grill as Americans would say. Yeah and I like I like Adam getting old. Come on let's chop chop let's stop talking come on keep moving. None of that to her no fratatization. He doesn't like it does he? Ha not at all. And why wasn't Ian at the barbecue? Yes because he said he was going to didn't he? He said to Jennifer. She said are you not working and he said no. But I am loving Brian's frustration. Yeah what am I for if I having affairs with and wearing kravats Brian that's what you're doing. To be fair to Brian he hasn't had an affair in about ten years now. He's hung up he's a fair britchie so to speak personally. Well he's prostate's probably giving him jip as a man a man of a certain age. I love I thought it was very ache porn there was lots of noises off at that home farm especially when Debbie in Debbie was trying to stop the row between Brian and Adam he were both going basically mummy mummy be on my side and she was said look I've only just got out of the car shut up and then all of a sudden we heard from the kitchen and she said oh who was that? And it's Jennifer and Kate at each other's throats but it's very good. And I did like Kate dropping Jennifer in it with Peggy and she was a complete fib. Jennifer never said go on the pill. She didn't say that at all. No she said just go to the doctor and you know look at your options sort of thing. But Kate I love Kate's slightly pissed voice it's brilliant it's so good that kind of I've just had one glass too many and I'm on the verge sort of thing. It's not slurry slurry it's just great. I cannot imagine the arches without Kate Aldridge now. I don't know really why the hell they had a shunted off in South Africa because she's just such a delicious inclusion back into things. Absolute love a lover lover. She's a disruptor in business terms she's a disruptor she won't let anybody. Well I think that's a wrong analogy because a business is disrupted generally if you found a new kind of industry as a business disruptor she's a fuck up is what she is. Uber is a disruptor you know sky piece of disruptive technology Kate Aldridge is a fuck up. She won't let anybody get away with with anything cozy. She just challenges everything all the time. No you're not it's like a three-year-old. I am this no you're not. Prove you are. Dada you know so she says right mum you said you're a brilliant mum you weren't you're rubbish. You claim you're being responsible to Phoebe? No you're not. I'm fed up with being the one who's always in trouble. I'm now going to get you in trouble with your mum. Which is just great when you're talking about somebody who's you know 67 and 93 or whatever it is. Oh yes good old Kate. And actually it proved to be a rather good mother and had an amazing teta tape with her granddaughter to prove that she actually has perspective wisdom and empathy and Jennifer Aldridge you know an absolute rock really and when you sit down and think about everything that she's been through. So you know what we always say all the things she has to put up with from Brian and the fact that you know she brought up in a pub and now she's you know kind of lady muck but she has had an affair of her own and we always forget you know no one ever brings that up. Well it's your script isn't it? I don't mean I don't mean archer script. I mean it's your it's your personality script. That's your first gin of the morning. It is. Chinchin darling. First. First. I am the victim. I am the put upon one. Poor old Jennifer. You know isn't it? And and and it's amazing how long you can keep that that script going without actually having to back it up at all. If you if you in the family if you are or in or in your community or whatever if you are known as poor old so-and-so or she's the lucky one or blah blah blah but you don't actually have to do a great deal to justify that. It just becomes embedded as that is the thing. So everybody if you're the person that's that's the victim and you've actually created quite a lot of the shit yourself that just gets conveniently forgotten by everybody because it's part of everyone's narrative it just becomes fixed. I hear that but now should we hear from the listeners. Yes. Hello ambridge 3962. Call the rinderers. It's your time. Call the rinderers. Unite. Who's first Lucy? Miss Midsity. Hi it's Miss Midsity here and I've got a big smile on my face because I'm very glad that Jenny Darling had the mature reasoned discussion with Phoebe that I'm sure that no real parent or grandparent has ever had about sex and it has happened before Phoebe has had sex. So over to Phoebe now to make sure she uses her own good sense as well as her grandmother's good advice and the discussion they had in my view was a pretty good template of what you might hope would happen between a child and a responsible guardian but it probably never does happen in reality and I use the word child advisedly because she is a child she's not 18 she's not an adult she's not voting yet not as far as I know and yeah if I sound a bit judgmental it's because I am girls of that age think that they are mature and their bodies may be telling them certain things but they are not they are children anyway we wait and see where this goes and whether or not Alex is going to become a permanent fixture or if he is just a jiggler or whatever that doesn't work it was some kid who is um whatever passing through I don't know yeah it's an age of discovery thank you those were my thoughts um she says that no parent would actually have the conversation that Jenny Darling had with Phoebe I couldn't disagree more but go on I know one parent that's had that conversation and and sort of helped her daughter make was very proactive in her daughter making contraceptive arrangements and stuff like that at the age of 60 but I think I think most people's parental instinct or maybe I'm just talking about my own is to just say no don't ever and then have to adjust to reality and be philosophical about it and not and pragmatic and not get ridiculous but I think it's very hard I think that conversation is made more difficult but for many parents because of you know the culture of which of which they sit and you know and I know that on a personal level you know my father for him it was a great point of honor that honors may be the wrong word but for him he had to have the conversation about the birds and the bees with me before we did it in biology at school yeah it's my first year at the senior school together and so if you had sex education yet no no no no if you had it yet yeah yeah and and the poor man was sweating for that for the whole year and then he you know he sat me down and he said um you know how babies are made and I said no and I absolutely did know but I just wanted him to sweat some more but I know many parents that have actually sat down you know it's one thing to have it with a son you know with daughters it is a little bit different you know that have sat down and had similar conversations with daughters and and generally if you can have that conversation and do it in a sympathetic and an empathetic way generally your child stays safe in terms of unwanted pregnancies so you know we've got to have those kind of conversations so I disagree with you miss mid-city I know many parents have actually had it it's not an easy one to have but you know I've had it I think it's almost like as well isn't it's not just about them being safe sexually or whatever it's about them being safe emotionally you don't want anybody to break their heart you don't want them to have such strong feelings about somebody that they can actually get upset by it well no you always want your children to be safe physically, emotionally you know financially every which way but because you know that is our role of parents but it's also knowing that it is going to happen and and to be there for them when you know Johnny doesn't call them back or when such and such isn't their friend at school etc you know it's kind of part of life you know so so it's treading that line between wrapping them up in cotton wool and actually you know pushing them out into the world to a degree so that they just experience the full gamut of human emotions you know yeah but hey um people don't come on this podcast to hear my homespun philosophy's loosey next caller they listen they listen to late road be gone daily hey baby I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs messy greetings lucy ryfield and all dumpty dummers around the world it's witherspoon and angus haggis here sipping on some lemonade and listening to all the opening and slamming of doors at home farm it's been another great week for the archers well kade is definitely not winning any mother of the year awards anytime soon and after spilling the beans in front of phoebe's great grandmother she did make my little poem of last week quite quite prescient at this point kade is just someone her family can't live with and the show can't live without speaking of people we can't live without how about the fabulous tamsung greg wouldn't be great if debbie ever returned from hungry on a permanent basis to tell it like it is all the time so in the meanwhile we have to save her her visits and hope that tamsung continues to enjoy her periodic guest appearances and i just loved it how she gave it good to charlie between the cricket match on sunday and the party on friday the week was not bookended well for our closeted technocrat farmer by the way i also loved last week's dumpty dumm with special guest angela barns the three of you are great together and an answer to ryfield's query i will stand up and say i am a fan of Ruth archer i don't understand where all this hate comes from she's smart hard-working a good wife well most of the time a good mother and daughter and someone i'd have a cup of tea in a biscuit with okay lucy i can hear you laughing in the background and i do agree with ryfield about tom and we'll give him the benefit of the doubt new tom does seem to have been given a personality transplant and appears to be a new man we shall see oh wait angus is telling me that we have to start packing this time next week i'll be leaving on a jet plane can't wait to be on your side of the pond it's with a spoon and angus haggis signing off with a spoon he very much enjoyed the slamming doors at home farm as well and he says about debbie flirting with charlie it was quite heavy-handed flirting though wasn't it debbie's more subtle than that i i don't know i because she's in it so infrequently that i forgotten what a modus or prandai is when it comes to uh you know affairs of the heart and lego business stuff other than she always seems to have somebody kind of in the background and generally kind of ends not not so well yes yeah also she's quite cool and quite reserved though i mean she's actually waving a dickers round aid at the moment well there's a certain level of anger at the moment as well isn't that and she's confronted the man that you know uh got rid of her so you understand that she was oh yeah um i couldn't do my job but charlie doesn't sound like a man when he talks to debbie he doesn't sound like a man he sounds like a work experience boy or something well she does sound somewhat masterful and with uh you know and they had their kind of talk about maybe this was sunday's episode about drones and you know types of lay and whatever the hell we were talking about but the charlie thomas evolved that arrived in ambush this is not the charlie thomas now is it you know he is you know he isn't uh mr mr clip board and mr proficient he is an emotional creature now and he doesn't want conflict and now we know that he hides behind his spreadsheets and everything exactly you know he doesn't want conflict and he's kind of you know tries to reverse out of any situation where he sees that coming yeah i thought i'd call in just to clarify from last week's podcast that no lucy i am not the listener who has the hots for Ruth it must be someone else i'm more of a traditionalist my heart skips a beat whenever the lovely sabrina thwaite is in a scene i've been doing a cosmo the last couple of weeks and have been on holiday walking along the southwest coast path down in devon and cornball while on holiday i like to go own natural and not to shave in a vein in more senses than one attempt to grow a beard unfortunately young alex with his surging hormone levels would i'm sure sports a finer specimen than me but then we all have to cope with the hand we are dealt with in life this got me thinking about beards in the archers and i struggle to recall any characters known for their moustaches beards salt sideburns or even any mention of facial hair of course discussion of beards doesn't necessarily make for great radio but then again peggy and christine baking muffins this week needed a bit of imagination as well being attuned to this i was disgusted to hear Kate in her drunken rant at the home farm barbecue talk of beardy weirdies this sort of beardest attitude shouldn't be tolerated and i've cancelled my holistic massage at her health retreat in protest pull room big fan of sabrina thwaite not Ruth as like how could i muddle up those two obviously as i said last week i apologize pull he's he's done some big long walk oh natural and that for one horrible minute i thought he meant he was the naked rambler but he's not he's grown a bit and he's cancelled his massage at Kate's establishment because of her comments about beardy weirdies poor brian there was a lot of brian love on twitter this week of um of him just being surrounded by well surrounded by Kate largely i think you only need to be you only need to be in the same room as Kate to feel like you've been completely surrounded by her because she is something of a presence isn't she but yes he was getting cheesed off with everybody going all hippie as he saw it thinking about things like the future of the of the world you know no it's hippie no it's just think about the next the next year's tax return auntie jean is back good morning auntie jean here i finally managed to catch up with the archers i was a bit behind i just want to say and daddy's back yay but boo she might be going i don't i hope she doesn't but then again if she's got another job in Hungary she's still gonna come back and see her mother hasn't she so let's hope we don't lose her completely and her um backing Adam and brian retiring was just brilliant i thought really well done it had the family barbecue was like the vic in east enders there were so many arguments going on did make me laugh anyway to Kate oh god she's obnoxious but i just want to point out and i may be wrong about this she goes on and on and on about her father not financing her but doesn't she own the cottage she's in didn't her father give her that as allys got given one too because they aren't going to be part of the farm so why doesn't she just mortgage the cottage somebody may need to correct me on that um comedy moment of the week was chris and peggy making scones and having muffins with caroline looking or sounding very embarrassed about the whole thing they're like an old married couple already i think that will probably go on and on but it'll be quite good and she also liked the barbecue i think we all did let's just have the oldrages home farm barbecue every week and yes Kate does own that cottage doesn't she she was given the cottage because brian devied up everything else between the other children so auntie jean says why can't she just mortgage it if she wants some money i'm not a hundred percent sure as whether she was given it i think she was i'm just not a hundred percent sure but if she was that does make a whole load of sense because that's going to be worth a pretty packet and she'll be able to get absolutely she'll be able to get a decent mortgage on it but she but then you still have to prove some form of income to pay the mortgage oh yes yes yes so it's it's slightly slightly chicken and egg you know shouldn't she prove income through this stupid massage center isn't that perhaps it's not it's not proof of income though is it no well it's imaginary isn't it really if this was pre the economic grass of 2008 i think you do sell certification on a mortgage okay as you can just make it up and you get it post 2008 it's much harder however in theory auntie jean yes but she might have to she might have to have someone to to guarantor you might have to in effect uh secure it on something else right but but she could work it out she's got a massive asset there she'll probably secure it on one of our children won't she part exchange cosmo hi everyone at dumpty-dum cosmo here it's only a couple of weeks until my next holiday when i'm going to Scotland enjoying the podcast and sometimes the arches as well i hear goddess diva has been missing me so here i am i keep finding you've also finished the recording before i can make my contribution first off i want to report much joy the right writer for a couple of weeks ago was joanna toy who had reportedly left and so i want to welcome back her experience and knowledge can i also clarify that grace is not returning to the arches per se but to a play about the event surrounding the fire which is also to be written by joanna toy at the time i believe that there was high skullduggery about the fire isan churchman who played grace returned later as mary pound and other characters and why get all your holiday decorations delivered through insta cart because maybe you will only bought two wreaths but you have 12 windows or maybe your toddler got very eager with the advent calendar or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling whatever the reason this season insta carts here for hosts and their whole holiday haul get decorations from the home depot cvs and more through insta cart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders service fees in terms apply kenny's family health care benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at amazon with two kids he was a big fan of that then he took advantage of amazon's on the job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development kenny liked that too that led to a bigger paycheck so he was able to get his youngest son a drum roll please drum set next up drum lessons learn more at about amazon.com amazon every day better hey i'm ryan riddles at mint mobile we like to do the opposite of what big wireless does they charge you a lot we charge you a little so naturally when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you that's right we're cutting the price of mint unlimited from 30 dollars a month to just 15 dollars a month give it a try at mint mobile dot com slash switch 45 dollars up from payment equivalent to 15 dollars per month new customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees extra speeds lower above 40 gigabyte ctales it's like terry miloi she has also been in dr who where she is the oldest living actress it was a great pleasure to hear Debbie this week but i fear that she had forgotten or the writers had forgotten but brine is a part owner of the consortium employing her in hungry and we're there for already now she was leaving on a slightly different subject if i ever had him try to watch a game of cricket and everybody kept coming up to me and talking to me about farming i would be deeply unhappy the game is far more important since i was last with you i've been to that london to see the mentalist bear with me there is a reason for mentioning this one of the main characters their incomes from a place called swindom and speaks with the west country accent so no doubt yoke will bear would be able to understand the strange accent emanating from the character concerned played by steve and merchant the kate phoebe and jenny discussions i shall leave to others with better knowledge however i do remember the time the eldest daughter throw up in the bedroom door when my wife and i were participating in what might be turned intimate discussions but i would rather say no more time to go hopefully i'll be around for again before too long bye for now bye bye debbie i don't want debbie to go i love debbie arriving hmm we want a debbie right yeah i think i have always related to debbie really yeah i don't know why um i don't think you should just say you don't know why i think we need to investigate the reasons why you feel the one that's who debbie because she's quite sarky and she she's a bit of a business wiz lucy yeah in that case i don't know why an earth i relate with her relate to her yes no that's probably just me being hopelessly idealistic that i relate to debbie which always would be horrified i don't know she's just she's just interesting and she's quite sort of bright and she doesn't believe all the the ambridge housewife shite does she just like i think though we we need to take three minutes to discuss this pattern of the baton in both farm yeah and i don't think it's by accident that we have the same time exactly yeah and it's not by accident that we have this new um orchestrator of all things ambridge and a year into his tenure it's a case of out with the old and in with the new yeah there's even green shoots of this changing of the guard so to speak i'm not mixing my metaphors over um with with david and pip isn't that yeah you know no david's not about to retire tomorrow but you know pip is definitely being you can see her you know being groomed for the succession so to speak mmm no strips of Brazil or not i i'm kind of torn here i know brian got a lot of a lot of sympathy this week but also he loves what he does and it's not very hard really he swans around he drinks whiskey and he gets away from the rest of the family and sits in his study with his laptop and he has a nice time and he feels like he's the leader of all these surveys and he has the rule of all he fits face and he has little little shenanigans and and and kind of um power games on the very boards of various things why would you want to give that up why what's he going to do that people talk about retirement as if somehow they're suddenly going to do all the things that they never had time to do but if you want to do something you do it you kind of you know you make time for it um but no in he doesn't have any hobbies he doesn't do anything no he does he does a bit of golf yeah him and mac Crawford with it all the pain and golf and stuff but no in in the case of somebody like brian who is managerial and has been a chairman retirement is such a gradual thing because actually he's been withdrawn from day to day management and get his hands dirty for a very long time it's not as if he's been going somewhere nine to five o'clock in and then clocks off yeah in effect maybe from about the age of 50 you know he was on the BL board uh you know he's been looking at various different interests etc and actually he's delegated massive uh you know day to day management to Adam and to Debbie and he is a classic chairman in that respect so he doesn't necessarily have any work in relationship with with the farm hands you know the the the pickers he doesn't interview them he doesn't actually know who they are you know recognize them and whatever he doesn't have a relationship with them it's you know through the chain of command through through Debbie through Adam etc so for him to be told we do not need you as wide as wise counsel is absolutely a massive shock though actually you do his man hours in terms of the running of the business it's probably i don't know eight hours a week or something yeah but he says on i'm sorry for anyone but this isn't much of a spoiler he says on Sundays my he said on Sundays episode my job has the purpose of my life has been to provide for me and the family and and he's done that to stop what am i what am i for what am i supposed to do and i really get that i don't know listen i i i i get it too i get it too but i suppose there's come a point where he is in effect the chairman of the chairman of the farm so to speak in terms of he doesn't have the day-to-day hands-on making you know they're kind of micro decisions it's a case of large strategic ones and just checking that everything's going tickety-boo so to speak yeah but then there is this massive divergence of of opinion in terms of strategically what the farm should be doing and then that's called into brought into sharp focus what how relevant brian actually is because he's been running the place he said for 40 years he's owned it for 40 years he's made uh and a mate he's done an amazing job it's secured the family's future and some and now is the time to pass on the baton but you absolutely do understand it from his point of view it's a case of oh you know we don't need your wise counsel anymore we don't you know you are not up with the latest farming techniques you're not you are becoming somewhat of an irrelevance yeah in terms of modern farming kind of techniques and it's just hard if he is if he clocked on every day nine to five as i said before and had done so for 40 years then um it retirement would be a much more immediate thing but it's being gradual and he hasn't realized he's been you know shunted to one side and i suppose he would even say that when adam came back um he he very deliberately made space for adam didn't need to come back in the farm instruction it was all the argy bargey between adam and debbie yeah you know that went on in for a good year 18 months with adam but as long as brian is the silverback and he is the the one who is at the top of the table he's like charles dance in game of thrones as long as he's the one at the top of the table you don't watch game thrones i don't watch game thrones um she won't know that he's a Lannister then so i know so he's like charles dance in game thrones just to get the top of the table while the underlings bicker as long as he doesn't mind how anyone bickers as long as he is in the center and he is at the top of the table what his fear is now is that he's not going to be top of the table anymore i don't that might be a really good analogy or a bad one because charles dance was killed by his son oh in game that's right well that would be rury then wouldn't it because adam isn't his son at next call blithe spirit hello time to dumb blithe spirit calling was it just me this week or did the whole of the collective out there in ambridge land give a massive cheer when jennifer said to kate you try the patience of a saint oh sweet relief at last someone has actually said it to her meanwhile peggy and auntie cardboard lots of fun and games in the kitchen they're not so much the golden girls is really turning into the odd couple aren't they very entertaining to listen to what really stood out for me though this week was the rat parchment between roy and phoebe and it was beautifully written beautifully played absolutely lovely to listen to um i think really what's happening for phoebe is that you know she's had to go through an awful lot of shocks especially for a girl of her age um in terms of being introduced to you know adult relationships and so far that it's not been very good but she's coming round to the idea of her father as you know a human being who has great generosity of spirit who has a good heart but he's you know he's like everyone else he makes mistakes and their relationship at the moment is going really well i think and i i predict what will happen is that she will move back in with him who knows you never know that might even lead to a some kind of reconciliation with haley could be further down the line when when uh jennifer said Kate you would try the patience of a saint um and uh peggy and arcticard board as the odd couple that i didn't like that scene i didn't get it it felt like they were trying really really hard to do something and i couldn't quite see what it was were we supposed to think oh my god they're going to get on terribly badly sharing this house oh no but actually this is they're quite happy bickering over the scales and this is my mixer and i know how it works i was supposed to think that's a good thing or what sounded bloody awful to me i think the setting this up to show us that these aren't just a couple of old biddies who will just of course will just rub along nicely that actually there are two women who have lived on their own for some time now yeah and of course um you know that scene that played out will you know will where is the i forget exactly what christine couldn't find you know where's the sugar where's the whatever the heck and peggy is confronted by this person who she's known for all these years her sister-in-law but actually with another person intrusively in her in her life who she's going to have to put up with and christine is a bit of a pain in the arse isn't she she's a bit soft you know right and you could just could just feel peggy just going oh god and and there's so many times when you know people get thrown together for whatever reason and you know is that personal dynamic you know it's a case of and god you know they've left the towels out in the bathroom owls like them put away they've done this and and these incredibly minor things but they're just irritating on on a personal level and i just thought that was what it was um right an insight to i just didn't think that worked at all but i think we don't actually know enough about christine's character to apart from that she's annoying she doesn't really have she's quite two-dimensional isn't she she's well anti-cardboard she's kind of got nothing she's there doesn't seem to be any anything to grab hold of there so you are right you you kind of wonder why she's kind of being literally brought back from the dead so yeah exactly because her and Jim that's kind of going nowhere fast yeah you know there's the the assides about her and her tweed skirts and you know if you're dressed in tweed all the time and you're completely right you know we've brought this character back from the seeming depths of you know nothingness and she brought nothing really to the party yeah let's fire her fired next don't mean to be harsh but please crack hey that ships sales uh john the first cape screeching like a banshee hello everybody it's john the first here aka john from new castle yes i'm still here it's been a couple of months since i've called in it's sunday afternoon and i've just listened to friday nights episode on podcast and how fantastic was it it was so quingy it was unbearable in parts listening to kate downing a bottle of wine and screeching like a banshee at phoebe because she was sending something on snapchat i think it's called the oh i can't even put into words just how much i loved it it was so dysfunctional um i loved the fact that peggy came in and acted all shocked and and offended and you know 1950s about the whole thing you know with uh jennifer suggesting that phoebe goes on the pill which she didn't really do but she was just being responsible in many ways she was probably the most responsible of all of them so poor jennifer she's had a bit of a hard time i loved the conversation at the end with uh brian and debbie talking about how brian should retire incidentally i love having debbie back and i'm i'm pleased she's staying a few more days i've actually never heard of her before because i've only been listening for a couple of years and um i think i missed her the last time she was on but i'm a huge fan of tampton greg so it's it's great to hear her um but there was the whole thing about you know should brian retire or shouldn't he retire because he's 71 nothing against people working when they're older but in my opinion i i certainly hope to be retired by the age of 71 i think brian deserves the rest um i think he should hand the the baton over to the younger generation because otherwise how are they gonna learn unless they can move it on and progress the farm that way plus he's 71 i mean i'm 33 and i'd retire next week if i could so so yeah thanks very much oh and i love the new site as well i think it's brilliant and i love the order of john archer badges as john the first i yeah i heartily approve yes like a bit of kate speech like a bunching but he's going on about you know passing things on again it's back to brian retirement passing things on to the next generation and you kind of think yes well that i think no but then i think bloody hell adam is nearly 50 and he's still working for his stepdad thought back a bit like that i did think yeah mate he does need to sort of get out you know someone on twitter said good brian just cut all the money and see how they manage without you then you know just if they want to be independent great but don't let them capitalise on what you've done just cut them loose i think they do quite well with that brian to be honest with you but they've all had you know that the traveling and all that was sort of funded by brian wasn't it or by jennifer putting a word in with brian you know adam macy didn't have to work in sainsbury's for three years to save up money to go traveling around the world and go and work for his charity and everything to do i mean that's not the kind of thing that working class kids get to do because you need money behind you to actually sell funds through a lot of these things doesn't mean then that your child is or your stepson your step and stepchild is then beholden to you for the rest of their life no but i think once you're propped up by that kind of cushion of money pretty much what you know if you have this sort of feeling things are never ever going to be actually that bad because i know i can always fall back on family money you're never ever you're going to be a lot less brave because you you don't need to or maybe more brave i don't know but you need to just got less to lose all the time i think this is potentially quite quite a dodgy argument that you're trying to make there because i would say that debbie has made her own way in life adam ditto he might have come back to the family farm but um he's a smart bright hard work in individual ditto with with our list he has her own career um you know she's living in a cottage bought for her by her parents as his cat but then we just get into it a slightly circular argument about rural property prices and you know let's not do that yeah let's not do that all right then i'll stop that's it we've done all the corn and for us that was really quick yay gosh all right so why don't you top up your your glass of gin okay he's just drinking it needs was actually only tonic in it there's some lemon oh all right i'll have another sip of me camp coffee we haven't mentioned camp coffee in weeks and uh we'll see you on the side hello i'm sarah smith proud sponsor of dumpty dum if you want to polish up your albian give your optics a wipe or even mop up after your ferrets sarah smith cloths are eco-friendly reusable and washable and you know a bit posh sarah smith available from sainsbury's for the posher washer proud sponsors of dumpty dum fancy getting your mouth around something warm something comforting you can really get a firm grip on why not buy a dumpty dum mug from the shop at dumpty dum.com goes down lovely and my name is Kate my name is chow my name is mikala my name is susan herke me my name is mary parkinson i'm in hope house as a client um i have had addiction issues um i hope as um i was inclusion eating disorder heroin and addiction symptoms methadone and alcohol i'm here because it got really bad hope house started off as an 8-bit unit in made of ale and um we're in all women units read an article about a new house some months before and when i read about it what i read or what i took away from the article was that this was a place where women worked to help other women coming soon to iTunes one thousand or one conversations a new podcast from royfield brown g'day everyone it's millie bell here we've had a really really busy week on our facebook page so i'm not going to have time to do much over around up with the other pages if at all we asked who you would like to invite to dinner if you'd invite three people from ambridge and the standout invitee was lillian health supreme everyone had reasons for choosing who they did and in fact most people in ambridge brought a bit of a goonsie from adam and charlie and eon or china from kirsty but there's nearly every person wanted to invite lillian so we're going to have to make sure that she is on our invitation list the other thing that was so lovely was that uh we asked um which of our caldera is would you like to invite to dinner and everybody chose me isn't that great okay i'm tricky no the really lovely thing about it is that everybody mentioned many of our regulars and it was completely across the board so i am now a little bit jealous because i know that a few of you are meeting soon and i rather think you're going to have a lot of fun because you clearly like each other you clearly love what each other has to say so i can see that this is going to be quite amazing and i i'm hoping that someone will take photos and maybe even some secret recordings or whatever the other thing that we discussed and this was so amusing uh we were we just asked you what look what are you doing this weekend everybody doing anything that we might want to join in with and it was just awesome you're obviously all very very busy people there's lots happening we had Kerry who was decorating and we had people just some bathing like Fiona Graham Winder some people were traveling Vicki Cole was on a train from Washington DC to Chicago and she was like because she had some dumpty dum and some artist to catch up on boys weekend for some Andrew Horn he had a boys weekend with you from them uh there's some barbecues happening and some oh there was obviously some cricket happening you have a range of activities and i guess it really brought home to me that there are a range of people who listened to the artist a huge range we discovered last weekend and there were a huge and diverse range of people who listened to the dumpty dum and that of course is what makes it so awesome not going to give you a round of the other Facebook pages this week because really we had so much to say on our site and what i think i now realize is that you have lots of opportunity to talk about arches and ambridge things on the other pages you don't need to do that on our page so we will continue to use our page to get to know ourselves a little better and to enjoy our company each other's company so thank you i'm really loving my new group of friends speaking thank you millie lucy yes one of you hit us with some hashtag the arches tweet of the last seven days or septumana as they say need to leave uh grievesy as in derrick pacher said christ on a bike debies gay dairies as fucked as capes clearly runs in the family guide gibson dog said ooh lemon drizzle cake and compacted soil today be still my beating heart uh yes you do get episodes like that don't you uh wendy pit said we talk about brian and uh things he might do when he's retired she said possibility of daytime sex until novelty wears off or heart attack that's a bit bruce wendy debruch said brian will not retire it looks like assassination is the only answer april oh you may said can't they put him out to stud he's 72 years old um and edepus cat said when debbie handed the notice in i can do arable me hashtag darryl make peace and uh john reed is tweet of the week he's awesome on the twitters he's very good uh phoebe oh fuck off mother kate oh fuck off mother jennifer oh fuck off mother peggy oh really they're very good oh i need to say something before we go on to the end of the show and say that it's all over i want to do these uh yoga mats with you you're messing with me chakras yeah okay all right so that's what i want to do and um somebody very kindly on the twitters found a company that will allow us to print on tea towels and onto yoga mats and for the life of me i cannot find that tweet neither can i we spent half of sunday looking didn't we i looked for a good hour before i said lucy um i'm going a bit mad can you look the new look um you just can't find it so please good listener who i don't know about a month or two back found the link for a company that will allow us to print on the tea task because dog point has even now posted a bloody thread on on our new forum and donnedidum.com for those that are interested uh saying tea towels owls determined on saturday to just like get this sorted and i can't so can't find the tweets of please uh put me out my misery and please don't tweet it just email royfield@gmail.com please just email me with the link of the company uh because uh i want to do those yoga mats at the tea towel right now um i think it's now just about the end of the show i've enjoyed this one lucy have you yeah not that i haven't enjoyed the other 66 that we've done before but um i've enjoyed this because i've just been basking in your general glow of cleverness and and i just sit i sit here and i just marvel i really do right okay oh i do genuinely genuinely okay well that's nice i don't know what you're playing at but i'm not going to join in you know are you don't don't engage with me at all nope if it's not about the archers there's no band with you anymore no because you're upsetting me up so i'm going to say something and then you're going to take me down aren't you no not at all you know i was actually setting up for a massive compliment but you didn't want to take it so i thought all right i'll just move on and say go to dumedydum.com to try our new website we can comment on the shows oh yeah it's really important folks so you can actually now um go to the show page and say hmm i thought lucy's monologue was most excellent i'm giving it 15 out of 10 uh this week or anything like that and also when you go on to a new site you can really soon create your own bit of dummy done by creating a profile and an article about anything archers related yes folks you heard it here first if you want to tell the world how you got into ambridge but are afraid to phone in writing there's even a bit where people are talking about what has wound them up in borsett shit in the last week and lucy you know what what you can see the caller rinares i've had a look at them i've had a good old look i have have you yeah did you like the look of them i did you see miss miss city's plats i did she looks exactly like i thought she would look considering you didn't even know she was black at first yes one said readjusted that but yes and here is another tip for you folks you can even message the other caller rinares through the site if you want to send a private message to cosmo or arrange a date with yokel berel goddess diva log on and go there and can we see their private messages no of course we can't hence their private oh it's not i always think that people at twitter probably read everyone's private dms pictures of willies probably the nsa are reading them gchq don't forget you can go to patreon.com for such dummy dumb waiting to support the show for two dollars you can also donate to the show by going to our site and hitting the donate button so that's it dummy dumbies over remember also to go to dumbd dumb dot com to buy stuff you can also send us a message via our site on speakpike hitting the big red tabby thing over on the right hand side or you can call us on 0 3 0 3 1 3 1 0 5 to leave us a message via a phone or you can find us on the twitters where we're at wdum waiting to eat me at royfield or sarah smith at sarah underscore smith full stop full stop right um any parting shots oh do you know where that comes from no aggression the parting shot it's a patheon shot oh really so what um the what they the cavalry used to do the patheon's and the mongol's and all of those kind of from the asian steps used to do so they would ride up towards the roman infantry or the greek infantry and then appear to flee the turn around and then heading back and then what in their saddles the patheon shot was then they turned that you know they physically shot was that yeah and then you know shot back in so the parting shot is the patheon shot well aren't you mr clever well nam just mr boring history nerd no that's not boring that's great because it's to do with the english language that's the only reason why you're interested in it because normally when i say things like oh the island man is not a constituent part of the united kingdom you're good you nerd and i say it exactly like that as well don't i well you you are very disparaging am i i'm sorry i don't need you are disparaging you are it's guilt that's what it is it's guilt really yeah because is it white guilt what yeah no is it white privilege and guilt i'll wave my copy of the garden in the end it's because i feel i should know my history is terrible and i really should know i kind of know what happened in different parts of history but i can't put it all together in one coherent hole which is what you could do and i feel really really bad that i i can't do that and sometimes it shouldn't ask me things and i think oh crikey i don't know that i feel terrible but you know i can deconstruct words so there we go that's handy well we both bring our different talents to the dumbly dumb table then don't we do talking of talents mmm about with the pumps sotted off so you cold hole is still a wash is it all right then children aren't we we aren't children i'll i'll go edit this then shall i write it kenny's family health care benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at amazon with two kids he was a big fan of that then he took advantage of amazon's on the job skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development kenny liked that too that led to a bigger paycheck so he was able to get his youngest son a drum roll please drum set next up drum lessons learn more at about amazon.com amazon every day better this episode is brought to you by progressive insurance you chose to hit play on this podcast today smart choice make another smart choice with auto quote explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once try it at progressive.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates not available in all states or situations prices vary based on how you buy

Podcast Summary – Episode 67

Kosmo

Lucy’s Monologue

This weeks callerinnerers

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