DumTeeDum - A show about BBC Radio's 'The Archers'

Dum Tee Dum Episode 35 – Bulls, nonsense and 2048

E-mailTwitter

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 35 – Bulls, nonsense and 2048 appeared first on DumTeeDum.

Duration:: 1h 14m
Broadcast on:: 02 Dec 2014
Audio Format:: other

Hey I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speed slower above 40 gigabytes of detail. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B. But with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linkedin, the place to be, to be. This podcast is a Royfield Brown production. Find others on iTunes. Hello, this is Susan Ray. You may remember me from such appearances as bewildered broadcaster in Dumte-Dum or the voice of disapproval in street crime UK. Today I want to use my voice to tell you about one thousand and one conversations a new podcast about the stories we all share. First kiss, first date school, where we were on 9/11. To record your story, your memories to be included in a future show, go to speakpipe.com/10001 conversations. You don't have to leave your name on the recording if you wish your blushes to be spared. The first topic is my first kiss. That's your first kiss, not my first kiss. So, pick her up and go to speakpipe.com/10001 conversations. And tell us your story. This episode of Dumte-Dum is sponsored by Lava Drama, a fully cooperative Lava-based aboture dramatics organisation. Lava Drama, for all your Lava needs. It worries me now, you know, that I know you so well, I know about your Lava-torial habits. So I'm going to say, just popping for a new break, I think that I've got 10 minutes. Well, yes, I do sit on the eye throne, so to speak. I'm playing 2048, have you seen that game? No. It's kind of a bit like Tetris. So, you have these blocks in a much larger grid and they disappear if you match them up and they're in multiples of two. So, there's two, four, eight, 16, 32, etc, etc. And it goes up to 2048, 2048. And when you can join them, then they disappear. But then it keeps on filling up when you don't. And it's kind of very simple, but incredibly addictive. And you just say, oh, I'm just sitting on the eye throne to do some business. And you'll whip out your device. And before you know it, 10 minutes have gone. Yes. Do you know what? I once wrote a piece for personnel today about dirt germs in offices and they took a swab of a man's iPhone and they took a swab off the lavatory seat. And there were more germs on the iPhone because they play it in the loo and then they pop it in their pocket, right, nestling up to things. And also people's office keyboards, when they're eating, because you see people absent mindedly eating over their keyboards, dropping a bit, licking their fingers, sticking it on the keyboard. And then he just said, no, that's about six months worth of molding food, molding, molding food on that. But doesn't that actually make us stronger, makes us more resistant to little bugs and stuff, doesn't it? We can't live in a totally antiseptic world. Yeah, I know, but licking your keyboard, that's going a bit far in it. True. Oh, by the way, we need to give a lot of love out to the diva today. Yes. Did you get the messages? Well, they all came in quite late yesterday, didn't they? Yeah. No, she's been in tears because she thought she'd upset you. Oh, crumbs. Because she wants to re-record her message because she just sent one saying, you know, I'm really sorry that I've upset Roy Field and all that sort of thing. I said to her, no, he's fine. It's fine. You know, she just said, oh, really sorry, I didn't spend more time with you. And I says, you didn't spend any, you know, I was really upset. But I think I put a smiley at the end of it. Right. You know, gosh, you know. It's very sensitive though, I think. Absolutely. And I'm not, that's the problem. And so I did spend about an hour and 45 minutes in the Apple iStore, just charging my phone on Saturday. You know, bemoaning my general existence and saying, I'm just kind of quite pointless. But the good news is that I manage to watch final score and Birmingham City 121 again. Yeah. And like a last minute goal as well. So I'm Birmingham City resurgent. And so am I, I was like, well happy about that. But I was a bit like, oh, I've got nothing to do. I'll just charge my phone. But yeah. But then that Birmingham City's late of late goal victory. Maybe that's the metaphor for you. Yes. No, no, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, you know, Birmingham City bouncing back and so am I. So good. Yeah. You sound very perky. Oh, good. Good. Yeah. Hey, people hated my edit, didn't they? Oh, I've never had so much. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know how I know? How do you know that now we are successful? Because I am getting a hate mail for my edit and be Willy Pictures. Well done. Yeah. I know. Have you had any Willy Pictures? Why would I? Why would somebody send me Willy Pictures? Why the hell would anybody send any? No, but you're a woman. You're a woman of a certain Twitter, Twitter sphere status. So you got to be sent them. But does anybody see it? Wait a minute. Do people send you picture of their own Willy's? Yes. Well, I presume that their own Willy's. I don't know. But you should ask them to do like a like a screenshot. So you know, it's very fun whether it says and not passing off the Willy as this. You can't have Willy's passing off. That is not Joel Willy. So I'm only accepting authentic Willy's. The problem is about editing is it's one of those thankless tasks. And on that note, this is done with the show at the reality doc drama that is entered on Ambridge in the heart of the Midlands. I'm Roy Phil Brown, who's feeding resurgent. Yay. And with me, I have the pun princess. That is Lucy Freeman. And the last part of our that's not Tom is you, folks. Today's rendition of Barrick Green is brought to you by my own muckapool room, Lucy. Yes. Can you remind our listeners how they're in the accolade of Dummy Dumber of the Week? Yes. If you have recently had a voice or personality transplant, feel free. It's 203-03-13105 or on speakbikefiredumptidum.com to tell us about it. Or leave us a dumptidum. Thanks again to Harriet Carmichael from Shambridge for the message. Messages this morning and Derek Fletcher for the loan of the back bedroom. He's on the sofa with Lorraine this morning. As he's twisted his ankle, ice skating at Lower Locksley. It's all part of his naturist Christmas celebrations. He likes to get the roses into his cheeks. People objected, though, someone called security who scared him a bit. And apparently he left skid marks all over the ice. They put down little towels, don't they? Yeah, they do. When you go to a naturist camp, he'll have like a little hand flannel towel. And so when they sit down, they'll put that down first. How do you know? I saw a documentary about it. Did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She subscribed to Health and Efficiency magazine. Do they? Does that still run it? I don't know. But it's such a sort of a traditional naturist gag in it. I'm not sure. I bet it does. I'm loath to look on Google, though. Goals this week come from Dusty Subnices who wants to know if the new editors ever listen to the archers, Cosmo. Oh, we love a bit of Cosmo. Who wants to buy Rob Tichner a drink. John from Newcastle, who has a confession. Jojo Sexy Hills is back. And she's also annoyed with the new Tom. Goddess Deaver, who wants to make it up with me. With me, right field. Don't need to make it up to me, goddess Deaver. At Rosie, who has a five minute archers break at work. And Paul, roomy old mucker. He just can't stop worrying. Oh, and there's another end. And John, late call from John. John, who can foresee a cheesy end for Helen. But first, before all that, let's kick things off with the do-blog-tongue-laden monologue that you're all waiting for. It's Lucy, V, Freeman and a week in Ambridge. Dannekin Skywalker is doing boxing and eating curry and getting in the regiment he wanted. It says Shula proudly, even Kenton sounded faintly disturbed at the level of forensic knowledge Shula has of Daniel's schedule. We do all realise that Shula's killed Alistair, don't we? In an effort to ensure that her edipal bed chamber is open to all offers from Daniel and his entire regiment. Lower Locksley is gearing up for Christmas. Oh, good. Another month of Christmas, jollity and folder roller to stay at home where we all celebrate an England that never existed. With sparkly-eyed country folk staggering around an ice rink half-cut on Waitrose mulled wine reduced to clear from last year, while the lady of the manna counts the money she's made and bounces around on top of a gormless hotel receptionist in a cow shed, compliments of the season, etc. Let us welcome, dear listener, Todd Foster, who sounds indistinguishable from Charlie Barber's spreadsheet, who in turn sounds indistinguishable from new Tom. We now have a positive army of men in wax jackets and cords who call each other "chap". So, hello lovely, drink red wine they can't pronounce, and fancy Fiona Bruce. Anyway. Oh, fancy Fiona Bruce. Ah, you don't wear wax jackets and cords, don't you? Oh, god. You don't even know the pair of wellies. No. No. What's that got to you fancy Fiona Bruce? Because they're the sort of men that do. You know, she's all sort of safe and... That's not true. I fancy and I don't wear those things. Do you really fancy her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She does all that overpronunciation in Wiggly eyebrows that are cheap. Well, all I know, right, is that she's got a nice nice pretty face. However, whenever I say to people I fancy Fiona Bruce, I do get funny looks. Everybody gives me a hug. How can you? But I think she's got a right nice face. Though, she needs to eat a few meals. She's a bit skinny. Is... Yes. Yes. But she's probably... That's why she used to keep moving around on the Antiques Roadshow in case someone mistakes her for a hat stand. I... Yes. Hmm. Anyway, don't let me stop you. OK. Now, I like a bit of... Angela Ripon. Yeah. When I was a little kid, I used to find... No, Selena Scott. I was a Selena Scott. No, no, no, no. No, it was... I never found it Angela Ripon. It was Selena Scott. She was lovely. Oh, God. The 14-year-old me had a real thing for her, I'll tell you. But I think people used to get her a bit confused with Diana Spencer, didn't they? Mm, mm. Oh! And then Angela Ford. Oh! Who was Angela Ford? What's her name, Ford? She used to be on ITV with the dark hair. Anna Ford. Anna Ford, that was it. Yeah, she's lovely. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was, like, a proper... If you were 14, as I was, right. I don't know what was going on about Blondie, and you were... ...at fantasizing about... Oh! Oh, don't start me on Debbie Harry. But... But... Anna Ford, right. She was, like, the first woman who I thought, "Oh, God, she's a bit nice." He was sophisticated. Mm. You know, if you're, like, if you're like a little teenage boy and you like to Anna Ford, you know, she just looked kind of like... She had a little bit of something else about her. What a gorgeous woman. Where is she now? Uh... Wasn't she one of the ones that was moaning because she got binged off because she was deemed as too old? I loved the way that we're still allowed to have old Blamey Michael Burke, who looks like a face like a bag of hammers. And, you know, he's allowed to keep banging on. But unless you look like a 20-year-old supermodel, you get chucked off the telly. Yeah, no, that's not fair at all. Not fair at all. And I would watch anything with Anna Ford on, and sorry for calling you Angela. It's to the arches. I bet she doesn't. I bet she's far too sophisticated. What do you mean far too sophisticated? It's the most sophisticated ducky drama that is on British TV. It had a psychic turkey in it. This would have happened. I don't think that happens if it's okay, did. Oh, I did laugh at that, you know. I did laugh. It's not a one of both. What the fuck? Mind your language, family podcast. Family show, sorry. Anyway, anyway, okay, right, so monologue, go. Okay, I like a bit of sexual tension as much as the next woman, but this Adam and Charlie thing is driving me mad. It's like Hepburn and Spencer Tracy with Fleabane. And just as an FYI, Fleabane is Canadian, so that's Bloody Tom Archer that's brought that back. Anyway, so there they are, Adam and Charlie, sitting in that restaurant with Adam saying, "Artsley, after what you've put me through, I deserve dinner." Then the Amuse Bouche come and Charlie says, "That's a nice little thing, isn't it?" And so it goes on because there are a weight of wandering around with a massive pepper pot just to add to the general phallic subtlety. While Charlie was abusing Adam's Bouche at Carol Toboggan, was it the turkey pardom? The biggest five minutes of insanity ever heard on British radio. She greeted Eddie and Joe with the words, "What a fine-looking pair, which startled both of them." The music in the background appeared to be Fleetwood Mac on a loop. Eddie was dressed as a chicken, Fallon asked the psychic turkey if she should have broken up with the man who arrested her father, and Joe was being George Washington. I just sat there staring at my radio, going, "What the hell?" every now and again. Psychotic Georgie wanted to save the psychic turkey. He fixed it Eddie with a gimlet eye and began to levitate until Eddie panicked and gave in. Horrible. "Listen, I did tell you a few weeks ago, didn't I?" "What?" "George Grundy's not right." "No, no, he's not right." "Leave Henry Archer alone, everyone." "It's George Grundy." "Are you all watching Henry?" "George is painting the living room with blood." Horrible Henry has progressed from saying, "Yes, wob!" to asking the psychic turkey in decisive questions about whether or not Tony would be home for Christmas. The psychic turkey said, "Yes, he would be, but he will have the voice of a speak and spell machine." Lillian's got her eye on Tony's medication. "The drugs they're giving him," she said, "enviously to Jenny Darling." "Jenny Darling Poirot is using her little gray cells, all three of them, to track down John Toboggan's alleged assassin." "This is nuts," she even said to Lillian. "What I could do without it, really, as if A, she's running British Airways, and B, someone else is hoping for her to do this." "So do do without it then, as it's in your head, you mad old bat. You're most distraught, your brother's dying, and you're tilling around playing Cluedo with a witch. Jenny Darling is going slowly out of her mind, pissing around with venison pasties. Get a bloody job, woman." "I hope there is some payoff with this, and this is the most bonkers bit of ludicrous, mismarpled, and I've got no part of it." "You know, is this Cluedo? What is it?" "No, I know, it's just us, but one of the listeners has had a very, very good suggestion about where this could be going." "Oh, okay. All right, then. So I'll say no more." "Jim and Linda want to bring in 24-hour dogging now, if they can find any volunteers. I've got surprised people are reluctant, it must be freezing on that bypass, and Chileans don't off-put a downer on dogging. Um, Newton went in to see new Tony in hospital. Will he remember me?" asked Newton anxiously. "We don't know, we all shouted, we don't know the hell you are either." "But good news from the hospital, Tony is holding his own. Good for you, Tony. Maybe Jim can come in and give you a hand." "That'll take the chill off." "The end!" "Oh, I'm cross this week, I tell you." "Oh, you can tell." "Oh, gosh. You rapped through that at a pace as well." "Did I?" "Yeah, you did." "Do you know what? Can I have a small minor rant?" "Do you mind if I have a minor rant?" "Well, isn't that like my gift to this podcast?" "Sorry. Well, feel free to leave in and rant with me or annoy, or do annoy, or disagree with me, if you like." "Go." "I am a person who you're not." "Yeah, sure. I can't get the first sentence. I'll have to go up to me." "If I am feeling stressed or anxious, or things are getting a little bit on top of me, what I do is I listen to something that I read, something like P.G. Woodhouse, or Agatha Christie, or Gladys Morgan, or one of the campy and margarine aluminium stories, or something that has an amazingly complicated plot, but that all gets beautifully sorted out at the end. All the loose ends get tied up and you shut the book and go, because it's all sorted out properly. Now, as far as I can tell, they're going to need some kind of dredging outfits to get everybody out of the mess and they're all in at the moment. We have got, I dislike dangling things, Roy Field, as we discussed earlier, and we've got, are they going to proder? What's going to happen about the money? What's happening about Jess? What's happening about Adam and Charlie? What's happening about Hayley and Roy? They've got, we're going to have to have like a week of episodes in which one storyline gets tied up every single week. Either that or a comet is going to have to hit Ambridge, wipe everybody out and we'll start again. Because the thing is, when you're reading something like Agatha Christie and P.G. Woodhouse, I have total faith that Daddie is in charge, sort of thing, and that this is all going to get sorted out amicably. I can't see how it's going to be sorted out and I don't care because I know it will be because I trust the author. At the moment, I am not trusting what is going on because I do not have any faith that they are writing storylines for people's characters and it's making me actually feel quite stressed. Does that sound stupid? Yes, and here's the reason why. In a fatal flaw in what you just said, you equated our favorite Ducky drama to novels. They're wrapped up in, I don't know, 300 pages, 200 pages. That's the difference. Here's an example, the Grundy Boys. Has that been resolved in 30 years? No, no. However, I take your point though. I take very essence of really what you're saying is that there are too many kind of dangling, not resolved storylines, but also storylines where we kind of don't really know what's going on. Charlie and Adam, because actually, nada, nothing's happening at all. And as we've kind of said before, it's all in our minds. You know, is there even a gay thing going on? We don't know. He hasn't even touched. No one's touched anybody's knee let alone done anything else. So, and for that, I applaud. Why do you have to say no pain? I did pull myself back. I did pull myself back. I withdrew quickly. So, and for that, I kind of slightly applaud the script writers, you know, to play with us. However, there are too many storylines at the moment. And then there are these weird and wonderful little tangents that we're going off like, um, Cal to Boggum being a witch, because she spent too much time in Argentina. Which I did get four round, you know, last week. And Miss Marple turning up in Ambridge. And just like, oh, there are these distractions. However, this is long for drama. And stories are supposed to weave in and weave out. And little Easter eggs are supposed to be left for us. You know, the bits of storylines. And then the payoff comes, you know, 18 months later. So it's wrong to say, I read PG Woodhouse and everything gets resolved. Because then you're watching, you're listening to the wrong type of drama. Love, sorry. Oh, I felt really stupid. Well, half of the thought after 40 odd years he got used to feeling stupid Lucy. Yes, yes, yes. And for once I've won an argument. So I think we should celebrate by hitting those phone lights. Hello, Ambridge 3962. Hello, it's Dusty Substances here, the wrong sort of listener. I love the idea of Carol skunking everybody up. I could even vaguely see her pissing around within a Ouija board. But Jennifer wouldn't. I mean, what's all that about? So I'm quite like, I quite like the elderly people all getting out of their brains. That's really good. But is this acting out of character thing that particularly Jennifer's doing, but she's not alone? Which makes me have a few questions. Sean, the new editor. Has he ever listened to the archers before? I'm just wondering that he may never have heard it and thinks this is a sort of stuff that would go down well. Or he may have heard it and didn't like it and wanted to change it. I mean, what on earth did the people on the interview panel ask the candidates? If you were going to change all the characters beyond recognition, what would be the wackiest thing you could think of? Oh, says Sean. I'll have a set of 80-year-olds on Class A drugs. Oh, that's good. Have you ever had a stampede and cattle scene before? You have? Did anyone die? Well, that's not a problem. We can kill somebody this time. Maybe dying on Christmas Day. That would be good, wouldn't it? So that must have gone down a storm at the mailbox. Anyway, a little rant about stir-up Sunday. So where was it? Did we have Jill losing her thrifty bits? No, we didn't. Anyway, our spectacularly dim Brookfieldites. A common refrain from me, but I'm sorry, I'm sticking to it. Just in the thing offers way over the odds for a farm that's got planning blight hanging over it. And they don't smell a rat. I mean, it's crazy. And it must be up to something. Oh, no, it's a really good offer. No, it isn't. It's all going to go to its arm. I mean, it would be all right. If we were getting rid of Ruth and Pip. But we're not, are we? They're going to stay there. So can that all please stop? Oh, I'm flipping Tom's comeback this evening, as if it wasn't bad enough. Really fed up. But anyway, let's have more 80-year-olds out of their heads. And if Jim could join in, I think that'd be really, really good. I can just imagine him sort of doing it in declensions in his Latin. That'd be really good. He'll probably know what the Latin for skunk is. I'd be really excited with that. So let's have that. Anyway, well done to everybody who won an award at the awards. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but I've sort of come to all of this a bit late. But you never know. I might come along to the next one. Anyway, thank you for a lovely podcast. And bye for now. Dusty substances. Well, she's just said what we just said, basically has a cheek. What, you know, has Sean ever listened to the artist? There is just a few people who are acting ever so slightly out of character, shall we say, a little bit. I tell you what though, Jenny Darling, and this insanity about John Toboggan. It just makes me want to work until I die. Because this is what happens when you don't have a proper job and you just mess around and your sole purpose in life is to twit around with your kitchen and, you know, worry about who's got what from Underwood's and all that. And, you know, she needs, you know, there are people that need help. She could go in to help them go and do some charity stuff or something instead of just being an idiot. And she's just making stuff up. When Linda said, you know, when Lillian said, so what did he say? She did, it was so highly edited and nuanced as to make it unrecognizable as to what John Toboggan's son has actually said, all done, you know, it was incredible. But yes. Someone said, is there a carol had a lesbian affair? And I thought, oh yes, I could see that. Yeah, because the son said after what she did. If the point of this nonsense is supposed to be that there's a little bit of needle between the pair because of Jenny Darling's affair that she had some 30, 40 years ago, well, yeah, you know. But all we need is just them just to rub shoulders in the shop and then to be frosty with each other. Yes, exactly. As the listeners, then we'd get it. We don't need a flipping murder plot. Yeah, but it's so bizarre. You know, I don't know what's happened to Jenny. Ouija boards, this, you know, accusing the woman of being some kind of black witch because she spent time in Argentina. And she put sage in the tea. I just, but I'm trusting there's going to be some comedic payoff because it there has to be. Well, Rosie, Winter X 27 says this. Hello, it's Rosie here, or Winter X 27 on Twitter. And I just had a couple of things I would like to say. I'm finally caught up with the archers. I haven't listened for a long time because I'm having a new job. And my workplace doesn't have designated archers, 15-minute break for some reason. The first thing I wanted to say was just that I know Jennifer's kind of getting a bit sucked into the idea that mysterious Carol had something to do with John's death. And I was just wondering whether this is in fact the case, but it was kind of done in good faith. Maybe John and Carol had originally come to some sort of decision where if one of them got to a state of health that just, you know, they weren't able to, you know, look after themselves and they were going to be completely dependent on the other person, that they should maybe be helped along in some way. And maybe this is a kind of, going to end up being some sort of euthanasia storyline and people's different attitudes towards that. That might be quite interesting. And then the second thing I wanted to say was I was a bit annoyed for Shuler when she was discussing cashing in his chair. And she said that no offense Ruth, but I wouldn't want my money tied up in a farm in the north. I know she's probably saying this for sentimental reasons. But for me, Prado is like a member of my family, I suppose. I can slack it off as much as I want because I live there. But as seen as someone else kind of puts their order in, he doesn't know what they're talking about. I get a bit annoyed when it goes to the whole of the north, really. So, you know, Shuler, it's lovely up here. The other thing is I don't think I'm going to get Ruth and David as neighbors. I just don't, that's just not going to happen. So they're not going to sell Brookfield. I can't imagine Ambridge without them. So yeah, that was all I had to say. And I'm enjoying being back on the tweet along and listening to the podcast and the young inverse. So thanks everyone. Bye. She says that it's a euthanasia storyline and that Carol actually helped John through his pain, possibly with a bit of herbal niceness or with a pillow over the face. I don't know. Ginger, weed. Yes. I can't say that, but yes. Of course you can. I just, I'm ridiculous when I say. It could be that. It could be anything, couldn't it? But I think that's quite likely. But then why would the sun be crossed? Because unless he disagreed with it. Yeah, no, he's disagreed with it. Yeah. It's like Roy and Hayley are curry, isn't it? You know, is this it was a storyline? Same story line. That makes a whole load of sense. Yeah, yeah. And Rosie was so said about the attitude of the Schuller and Elizabeth and Kenton to the money that they might get from Brookers. It really annoyed me when Schuller said, "What about if they built all from homes?" You think, "Well, what about if they built nice homes, Schuller, for nice people who need somewhere to live and who don't just inherit houses and vast amounts of money, you know, who want to live in the country, but unless you are cashed up to the eyeballs, you've got absolutely no chance." Yes. Anyway, Schuller does get on my wicks, he really does. Did you read that article in The Guardian over the weekend that 30-some things are leaving London? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I forget how many thousand thirds. Good, I might get a seat on the Victoria line now. I hope they all go at once. I'll be popped. Guess what? Guess what? The number one UK destination is for 30-some things who are leaving London. Bristol. Birmingham. No. Absolutely. I think Bristol's number three, Manchester's number two, and then know this from NHS Records, because people are transferring from, you know, from their doctors and stuff. And so the pattern of migration is you finish university, you go down to London, you have a gay old time, start a family, you go, "Hold on a minute, can't afford to live here." You know, we've all got, we've all got kids. Me and I too, yes. I've got half a bedroom flat. Yeah, so the editor of this short list magazine, that trendy fashionable thing, he actually now lives in Birmingham and he was chatting about it, and yeah, yeah, Birmingham number one, Manchester number two, Bristol number three. No wonder you're feeling resurgent, what with Birmingham City winning, and then half the country moving to your hometown. But by definition, I should be with him though, shouldn't I? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But I'm a 40-something now, so maybe I shouldn't. But anyway, where were we, you won't be talking about? I'm not. How the hell? How do we get onto this? There's a UK housing shortage cut in top of, oh, it's because, yes, that was it, that was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not built home for anybody except me. Hello, dumb to dumb, Cosmo here again. Sorry I missed all the fun in shortage. I hope the hangovers were not too bad generally. I did see the video stream and thank you for providing it. I think my faulty towers experience was about as much fun. But I did miss the opportunity to buy Rob Tischen at a drink, to congratulate him on his skills in looking after poor Helen in the last year. Making her feel so well-looked after and protected from the bad things in the world must be a very difficult job. I am sending this on Friday morning, so I've not heard the entire week. But it has become clear that Jennifer has unearthed, that we must have been mispronouncing Mrs. de Boggins' first name. She has a track record, as I must remind you, as a husband-killer, as being a witch. She must have cast the spell, which killed Charles Grenville and John's first wife Janet in a car crash. So I suggest in future we refer to her not as Carol Tobogum, but as killer Tobogum. Of course, serial killers do a bound in Ambridge. David killed off Jethro and a Badger, whilst Lizzy killed off Dan and Nigel. You haven't heard from me for a couple of weeks, because I have been so distressed over the entire Brookfield business. Having thought about it, I have decided that the only explanation was mentioned by Tim when he was on the podcast a few weeks ago. He wants to get away from memories of Ruth, and the herdsmen, and the affair. So perhaps in that light, they do have to go. What else? Well, do not get me started on the in-expressive and unrecognizable voices, being used by Pip and Tom, who have obviously walked out of central casting, rather than being embedded in village life for the last 20 years as they grew up. Quite unbelievable. And finally, can I suggest that I'll be farming only got the contracts, because Charlie wants his evil way with Todd Foster, and Adam has simply not been putting out, so Charlie has to go elsewhere for his oats. Nothing posh next week, but I will try and send you a message later if I can. Bye. Cosmo, he wants her to change her name, to kill her to bug him. Because of this very thing. Did you notice the way that Cosmo, just very calmly and suddenly told me off in the last podcast, and he says, you know, to stop with the criticism of that forum, Roy Field. I know, he's quite a masterful, isn't he? Absolutely, absolutely. I think he probably has an underground lair and a white cat. But he's not on Twitter or Facebook, so we'll never know. You know when Fallon pitched up a killer to Boggins house with a headache? Yes. And she said, come in and I'll make you some tea. If someone said that to me, I would run like hell. What? Well, isn't that the most English of things? You know, like I'll make your copper. If you have a cup of tea, you know, like Yorkshire tea bags, hard water like I have, that's lovely, yes, rashing. But not one where you don't know what the hell they put in it. It's like those people that say, I'll give you a massage. And you say, do you know anything about massage? And they say, no, and carry on anyway. And you think that's really hurting and you don't know anything. You wouldn't have someone say, oh, you've got too thick. Let me have a crack. Let me have a crack at it, you know. I finished the dentist. I know how it's done. No, you wouldn't, would you? So you said I wouldn't drink herbal tea made by a weird old woman. All right, now, wait a minute, how weird is she? Well, she's not. She's not that weird, no. In fact, I just couldn't. I wouldn't even call her old myself. No, I know, I've just completed. All right, so she's not a weird old woman. I said, that's it. So an ordinary woman, you've racked up at her door, you've got a headache, and she says, it's a little old. Then something funny out of her garden, the bird fries probably weaned on. I think something's really upset you this week. You just, like, be honest, like, I know. Listen to Lucy, go, and considering you are moaning about everyone calling her a white witch black witch, whatever, you know, your feminist hackles were raised last week. Leave her alone. Now, listen to you. What can I say about woman that'd been consistent? Now, have we got to the point of why Cosmo wanted to buy a rub, teach me a drink? Um, because he said he's protected. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it at progressive.com. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row, as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B. But with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com/results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my 100th mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15 and what. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch, whatever you're ready. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes of CD-Tails. Ting Helen so well. He's joking. I think he's joking. You better be joking, or we're not putting him on air again. No, yes, no, he just meant because Rob's doing such a good job of protecting Helen. Also, he said about David last when Ting was on the show and he said about Ruth and the herdsman and that that was never properly resolved. Cosmo says that does David is David happy to leave Rookers because it would mean getting away from any sort of residual memories of Ruth and Sam the cowman. I had a little plot prediction. I had a little thought this morning in the shower. I thought what if Heather dies halfway through this ridiculous cash fest? What about if halfway through Heather dies? They don't have to go. Ruth still wants to go. David doesn't because he wants to stay because he wants to stay with his mum and with his birth right and all that and he says to her you've got to choose. Cos Tim Benton said something about he's still never sure where her allegiance lies. But remember he also said that the moral compass of the show, so they'll never really split up. Oh yeah, but they won't though. She would she would back down. That's why they went to the show. Okay, well we just know they're not going anyway, aren't we? Yes, I do. There's some aquifer and running underneath it and yadda yadda yadda. So they ain't going whatever. They ain't going whatever. And from Newcastle again, this week I'm calling in with a bit of a confession. About a year ago I moved in with my partner Richard who is very very patient and forgiving when it comes to my love of the archers. He never mind me listening to it full blast in the kitchen, never mind me talking about it and discussing it at length with my well, how a mutual friend Gillian from Gateshead who called in a few weeks ago. But a couple of weeks ago I think this was ever so slightly tested because it was the episode when Tony gets knocked over and stamped on by Otto and it was a very very tense episode as you know. And we're both stood in the kitchen listening to this episode when the scene happens where Tony gets trampled by Otto and it's when he's in the helicopter afterwards and the doctor is phoning in saying that they had a 60 something year old man who has been knocked over by and then trampled by a bull. At which point Richard let out what could best be described as a massive gefor or chuckle. At which point I'm ashamed to admit I ordered him out of his own kitchen. Bearing in mind this is Richard's house and although I've lived here for a year it is his house and I ordered him out of his own kitchen. Full of Gilles and full of the bores, I am making this call to confess to you all this and hope that Richard will forgive me because there this is a bit of a bit of an example of how the arches fandom and the obsession that many of us have for this fantastic drama can play a bit of an impact on our relationships. So take this as a warning for you all. Congratulations on the awards as well. Unfortunately I couldn't be there but I did watch a lot of the live stream and I was swapping Facebook messages with Gillian from Gates Head who was also watching the live stream mainly saying how jealous we were that we couldn't be there. So congratulations again and hopefully myself and Gillian will make it down to London for next year's awards ceremony and if he hasn't thrown me out by then maybe Richard will come to have a great week and speak to you soon. Bye. John from Newcastle has confessed that he sent his boyfriend out of his boyfriend's own kitchen. He evicted him from his own house because he laughed when Tony got trampled by the pool. John it is not us who need to be apologizing too. I think it's your boyfriend that you probably need to buy some flowers. Say I'm very very sorry and yes. It was either the kind of script writing anything genius or I think it was Cosmo or somebody said a week or two back or it was just absolutely incomprehensible. But that episode with a moon, Tony got down and you did know what the bj's I said got. And so I so as I said before I didn't exactly I didn't get all emotion about it at all. I just didn't however I know that really the payoff was in kind of Pat's performance but you know and to be fair little Johnny you know granddad you know in the next episode but you know I didn't know what the hell went on there and I suppose you weren't supposed to and as I say it was either a bit of script writing editing audio editing genius just the confusion but it's Henry I thought it was Henry that was squished. Well it would have been too harsh though wouldn't it? Yeah you can't you can't have it the child gored to death on our on our radios but we can have a six-year-old man literally gored to death on our radius that's fine yeah shall we do JoJo now? Yes oh by the way John from New Hands The City watched the live stream and he enjoyed it but he didn't mention whether or not he enjoyed the bit where we broadcast the role of Gaffetape. I apologize I apologize for number one not noticing that the camera the iPad had actually fallen over and was actually broadcasting a role of Gaffetape so you know what that's what we've get our sponsorship from. We've had a great deal of exposure over the last year Gaffetape and the fact that I put it right at the back of the room and really I should have put it right up front and center and just zoom so we could have just zoom straight in on the stage but next year I'll be one year older and definitely wiser so I'll do that then and I was so impressed we had a live stream I didn't think that would ever. Well I was shocked and stunned how easily it worked and then it was really nice just wandering around with the camera and just like putting in front of people's faces and talking to them and it's all still on if you go to ustream.com I think it's full/dumbly-dumb all the clips are still there so you can watch them and there's some nice little interviews which I do with people so they're all still there impurity forever. They're never farming. You know what you were saying about when you did your ball impression? Yeah. The sound effect. You know Martin Greaves, beautiful glamour studio. Greavesy. You know he's rebuffed my offers of a bromance. Yes he. Yeah. No little DM to me let's have a drink then Roy for anything. I'm proper gutted but I you know but I'm not going to make a thing out of it. It's best not to mix work and romance isn't it? So as he's our studio assistant I don't want you to furtling around in this. What are you going to say anyway? He said in the olden days when they used to have sound effects on cassettes you know and you just bum them in the thing and pick sound effect you want. You had a book that had all the different sound effects listed out and they used to play sound effect bingo where one of the sound technicians on the archers would shut their eyes and just stab their finger into a book and whichever sound effect they landed on they would use that sound effect. They would have to see if they could get it into the show without anybody spotting them and apparently there was one memorable episode where Eddie Grundy started his car up in the farmyard and it was the start of the Le Mans rally and no one noticed. I love that. I'm sure they don't do anything that silly anymore. They're very sensible and grown and professional now. Hi there Dhamtidomas. It's Jojo's sexy heels here. Haven't sent a message for a couple of weeks. I thought I'd better just let you know my thoughts on the return of Tom or new Thomas. We're all referring to him. Have you ever heard a speech with more me me me me me? He's sitting at his poor father's deathbed and all about me. Interesting though he didn't say what he was doing in the cabin in the backwoods. Little hints of a broke back mountain approach. Maybe he and Adam need to have a man to man talk but oh new Tom. Well I prefer his voice to the new Pip. Don't like her voice at all. She's a bit gravelly and growly. What happened to Winy Pip? You know the woman we love to hate. So don't like new Pip. Think I prefer new Tom. The voice is okay but me me me me me. Can't bear it please. If you've learned anything in the backwards of Canada Tom stop all this self-centered nonsense and just get on and save the farm because Titchinob's got his claws in and he's not going to want to let go. So get out there get your hands dirty get your wellies on and go save Bridge Farm. Okay speak to you soon. Bye. Jo Jo Sex is yours wants to know what Tom was doing in that cabin in the mountains. I don't care what he was doing. She says she doesn't like new Pip and she prefers but she does prefer new Tom. Did you know that new Tom is apparently new Tony's son in real life? Really? Apparently so. I think I've got that right or I could have dreamt it but I'm fairly sure that's right. Yes. If you listen to what Tom says in that episode there's loads of nods and winks to us the listeners. Yeah. It's like oh it's like I'm a different person. Yes. Oh it is me. Tom is that you? Oh no it's not. That's the answer. No. I just love the way Titter Twitter just roared into life the second he opened the door and Helen went Tom I don't know. No. It's kind of tidal wave of abuses and sounds like immediately. Poor Jack. But to go back onto the point that you made some weeks ago which the lovely very clever Harriet kind of brought up about the indistinguishable ability of the voices it is like come on now. I know. They all sound the same. He sounds so much like Charlie Barbara's spreadsheet. Oh it's even their intonation is the same. They all sound the same and we you know and you don't you can't have this in radio drama. No. You can't. I mean admittedly you can't have thought you couldn't have you know we've got Jazza we couldn't have somebody from you know Ireland and somebody from but we've got that haven't we we had with Ian but you know you can't have wildly different but I don't know how the women manage it when the men can't. We should have on some kind of vocal coach in a future episode. Oh I've got one. I know one. My friend. Get her on. Have her. Get her on. No seriously we need to get her on because you know the other thing is is that you know these actors aren't actually not all of them anyway actually speaking in their natural voices you know so it has to be you you can you know when you sit down you listen to show us a second time. You can just lay wash over you and then you do hear dare I say the acting and and then when you hear them speak normally and he really is not speaking in their real voices but there are so many that just sound absolutely blandly the same. Like like Danakin I know he's not in it really but Dan is interchangeable with new time. He's interchangeable with Davey Zell and his BBC cost cutting. The Daily Mail will be happy then. Do you know what we should get her on and we should also get Harriet on as well and we can dive into what makes you know the different voices kind of so unique and whatever. The sale of Brookfield is still troubling me greatly. I know a lot of people say it's not going to happen. The script writers move on but I just can't relax. They might be calling our bluff and Brookfield does get sold to Justin Elliott head of Demarara Sugar. I keep waiting for the spring to have sprung with water washing away any hopes of root B or perhaps the holder Brookfield will fall down a huge sinkhole and there'll be nothing left to sell. Another outcome does play on my mind. Shuler, Kenton and Elizabeth are all very happy with the thought of their share of seven and a half million but as uber god Kerry Davies tells us on the archers blog the amount of the shares was never specified and it is very unlikely to have been a quarter each as some listeners speculated. So what if it was only piffling numbers of shares they each received and Ruth and David practically got the lot? Did Phil set it up this way to stop arguments with all thinking they got something but not knowing the actual amounts? Not imagining the Brookfield would ever be sold and the truth come out. Questions I have are are all the siblings company directors? Can they veto the sale? If they see Ruth and David potentially trousering the lion's share of the seven and a half million if the shared division was not fair could one or all of them not allow the sale of Brookfield and so it all falls through. I can't recall hearing anyone mention the actual percentage division of the shares or what sums of money they will all receive. A bit odd really as in everyday conversation surely Ruth and David would say we'll need this much to buy out the others or they've got X percentage of shares each but it seems as if it's been deliberately not mentioned to produce a plot twist. After they settled my capital gains tax queries so efficiently I'd like the advice of the dumpty dum accountants again please. Paul Rimm wants to know. Paul Paul Paul Paul. If Schuller and Penton Elizabeth know what I want to know well he's getting muddled up about the finance so am I. I don't understand how a mortgage works and I think Paul is mistaking us for money box life. We're more kind of money box arfed. All right listen I'm switching off you just said the magic words money box live and that's it I'm out of this garden. We've now got people reading and asking us how to cash in their Ices. My advice is if you're going to cash in your Ices you go on to the PayPal section of the dumpty dum website and cash it in right there that's what I think. Anyway um oh and just just whilst we there yeah um what we what we're going to say about our PayPal button. It puts some money in it don't it? Because two people have done this week and we love them dearly. Oh yes they have a delay. Yes yes yes. Gosh that was such a surprise. It was. It was. It takes me a lot of money. We've had on our site dear listener for quite some time um a little button and it says give us some cash and we've never publicized it because I've placed it on the website it's in a bit of a rubbish place and we've never really talked about it however it is there and it's really nice of you if you just want to just click on it and just say hmm I don't you know I don't really need a t-shirt. I don't really need a mug however I really appreciate what these pair do and I appreciate they do have some costs so you can just like whack us a bit of cash. So I've got people this week whack us a bit of cash. You can whack us whatever you want and it's just very lovely of you and it really just like really perked me up. It's part of the reason why I'm feeling resurgent. There you go. So go on to our website and it's just kind of there and just says donate and you hit donate and just give us a little bit of your hard-earned money. Yes. Anyway, Paul, I don't know what happens if Sheila, Kent and Elizabeth all pull out their shares and then the sale goes wrong. Will Ruth and David be left owing them somehow and also... But surely it will don't do it afterwards, wouldn't they? Because they've got to have the money real large. But you know what Kenton's like, he'd have spent his. Also, someone said to me at the Duntedham Awards and God help me. I've got no idea who it was. I've got a feeling it was Rupert Broome who said well Kenton's already had some of his money because he got into some sort of difficulty and for the life of me I can't remember what that was either because Kenton's always in some sort of difficulty. But Phil pulled out his cash early and gave him some of the money. What's this to do with Jacks? Yeah, possibly. See as soon as it goes, I'm up with the... You switch off when it's farming, a nice switch off when it's money. It's like when you said how much locks vest was costing. I just sat there with my mouth open thinking, "Really? No idea. Is he talking about?" Yeah, so I don't know. I don't understand it. I'm very uncomfortable with all this money chat, especially because it's such vast sums. But yeah, I mean it just... Why would they be happy as well that Schuller? Oh, so they're happy that Schuller is pulling out her money from the farm. Why are they happy about that? Well, I suppose it just means that they don't have to call together any shareholder directory meetings when they're howdy-hock. It just means that the ownership structure is just much more simple. You know, they'll not beholden to anybody. Okay. And there's still enough moolah going around that they can have as near as damn it, no mortgage on the new place, even when the other siblings are taking their pound of flesh. Right. Okay. Right. But it's not going to happen. No, it's not, is it? But somehow there's going to be a big mess, isn't there? Absolutely. Somehow this is going to end up where either Kenton spent the money already, or Elizabeth said, "Well, I want to pull my share out anyway, even if they decide not to leave." Are they have to re-mortgage or something? Or is that just an idiot? Or something something? I don't know. They're so not going. There's too many scenes with David and his mum, you know, said, "Oh, look at the office. Look at the view, blah, blah, blah, they're not going anywhere." So it's just, yes. But there will be some financial ramifications you're absolutely right on that. Well, aren't they interesting? Otherwise, I'm nodding off again. Hi, this is Johncock135. Looking into the future, I'm a bit worried about all the incidents of crushing that we've had at Home Farm. Firstly, John got crushed by the Fergie tractor, then Tony crushed by his bull. If things go in three, who's next? My prediction is that it's going to be Helen, and she's going to be crushed by a giant cheese. Rob is going to take over cheese production and start putting them in these giant bales that make a cheese factory use, and he's going to stack them up so high that her hella opens the door. Cheese will fall on top of her and crush her. Thank you. Johncock says that Helen is killed by cheese. Johncock. Wait a minute, is he new cholera? Yes, no. He's a cholera from a long time ago. He doesn't call a rinnerer very often. He says Helen's going to be killed by cheese, that Rob's going to increase production of the dairy and make some ginormous monster cheese, mega cheese, like the mega dairy, which is going to fall over. Hill, Helen, I'd rather she was squished by sterling gold than by Rob, to be honest, and as she appears to have stopped eating again. What about Borsett's your blue? Yes, Borsett's your black and blue. As Helen appears to have stopped eating again, so you could probably knock her out with a dairy-y triangle, I think. What, those things like crack cocaine when you went on a school trip, you know, in the junior school, everybody wanted a dairy-yly triangle, didn't they? Oh my god, you got a dendy chunk, oh, I'll get a bit of that. How did you give someone a bit? Because you opened the packet and it just immediately spreads itself over a surface area for about 100 miles, and very recently, when we went on school trips, we were told nobody is going to open their pattern, we'd, everybody would have eaten their pattern just by the time we got to the end of the road, or everybody swapped enders. You've got cheese and pickle, I don't like cheese and pickle. That's it, that's all the calls. Oh, and goddess diva's call, what are we going to do about that, because we haven't had it yet? Well, if we get it before I put it in and if we don't, I can't. Dear Boyfield, goddess diva here, really, really, really sorry, I didn't get to spend more time with you last weekend. I was hoping we could all go out and get a drink afterwards, but the lovely Susie dragged me off to her lovely house and let me sleep in her lovely bed for a couple of hours, so I didn't have to stay up all night. I'm actually really gutted you thought I was ignoring you. I'm very, very sorry from the bottom of my heart and hopefully, if we ever get this tweet up in Bristol, I can make it up to you then. I don't even have it in me to comment on the arches this week, but I'm to say that's not tough, it's just not on. And even then, it's in a half-hearted manner. Dear listener, can I just make a little bit of a request? Is that me? No, you're not a listener. Oh, okay, I'm listening. But you're not a listener, though, are you? You are a co-host. Okay. You're the talent. No. You're the beating heart of the show. Now, Paul Roome is a doctor. We said this last week, remember, and he wanted to train to be a vet, but he needed more qualifications to be a vet than a doctor. He says, I'll be a doctor instead. Hence, I made a little quip last week that he says, if you're real, right, go see a vet, because actually more qualified than doctors that I didn't exactly make that explicit. That's a little joke between me and Mr Roome, which I'm now sharing with the whole of the Dundee-dom listenership. Now, just for a week or two, I want to run a bit of an experiment. When you're calling, can you just say what your occupation is? Because I'm just somewhat intrigued. I like getting to know our listeners. So, what do you cosmo say was? Is cosmo actually an accountant? He's retired accountant, I think. So, from here on in the next couple weeks, just say, cosmo here, retired accountant, or JoJo Sexy Heels, owner of shoe shop, just whatever. You do not realise that people will make stuff up wildly, don't you? That's kind of half the fun. Okay. Yes. I thought you were doing some sort of sociological survey. Not really, but I just want, I'd love there to be some Vickers listening. The real Vickers. There's a Vickers on that with a feed. And there's a Vickers wife, who I know. You've had a profession, Vickers wife. Well, I think the amount of work she does for it, it ought to be, but it isn't. Cool. All right. Smashing. Well, that sounded a bit kind of slightly pointless, but it just, it'll just, it'll just please me. We can start up some kind of Dundee-dom LinkedIn. We can have the accountants linked up with the other accountants and, you know, start some sort of, you know, professional networking. Like, because of shoes, you could only buy services from other dumbness companies. We could be the Stanford Hill of the podcast world. Sorry. Oh, I like it when you make that. Don't make that little clearing of your throat noisy enough. You don't, you know, if you've done it about two or three pug as well. It's going to like, you know, I've come to a full stop with that and I'm slightly embarrassed myself. I'm going to move on. Top five hashtag the arches tweets of the week, Lucy. Well, you're all getting too bloody funny. Could you stop being funny because it's going to turn into top 27 hashtag arches, the arches tweets tweet. Mading crowd said, what, started just in Elliot. This cannot happen. Oh, he's 45 year old Pip. Maybe she, ah, Keith does it. Said, had a great, I was with him up until right the last bit, time for Lillian to bid in the auction on behalf of Matt, because I'm just in Elliot and Brian, then sell Brookfield. This is a bit where he lost me, which is a Russian mafia. The starches, Julian Smith said, Pat is the winner of the arches. Happy families with a full set of new Helen, new Tony, new John and new Tom. And Jay Gallagher said, as Pip has become a language divorcee, George seems to have become a 14 year old adolescent. This is true. His voice is very nearly broken in the last episode. Andy, Andy, make the tea. I really like this one. He said, ah, they grow up so fast. One day soon, it'll just be us, tweet along us, pottering about with no arches under our feet. And it was Bob Paulkin, Salvatore Rosa, who is the most British understated and beautiful tweet. He just put, come on, Heather, do the decent thing. But I also have another tweet of the week, which is not nothing, I have two tweets of the week. Because this was nothing to do with the arches. Oh, okay. It was about, you know you're cheating. Couldn't that be on another podcast then? You know, but it's to do with you though. You know, you know, you're cheerleading thing that you do. Yes. Can you tell people what it is? Right. So I'm working with a great social enterprise called Ascension Eagles in East London, and they're kind of award-winning. They go all over the world and cheerlead. No fun-poms at all. It's about getting local kids, working class kids, fit healthy and just, you know, working together as part of a team. And as kind of most cheerleading teams, it's kind of 95% female. So they're trying to recruit more boys. And they've got me on board to devise a campaign for them, a social media campaign, of which I did a photo shoot, I've done posters, I'm doing some press to get more boys to become cheerleaders. Did you see there was a, sorry, this isn't the thing, but this is another thing. On Twitter the other day, somebody posted, it was a mental health account, I can't remember which one, about, they asked a group of nine-year-old boys what they hated about being boys. And they said things like, we're expected to like violence, and I'm expected to like football. And one of them said, one of the comments was, I can't be a cheerleader. Oh, really? Yeah. And I thought, if you, I'll find it and send it to you, because I'll please do it. But yeah, anyway, the alternative tweet of the week is Yoko Bear, who read your thing about the cheerleaders, and pointed out that he was a member of a cheerleading team. And he sent us a picture of him and his cheerleading team. And you said, were you good? And he said, we were rubbish. He's in medical attention after attempting to split it. They did look like a sorry bunch of teenagers, didn't they? It's all a dear. Anyway, that was it, that was my other tweet of the week. And picture tweet of the week, which is the related to Dum-dum-dum, is from Sarah C.M. underscore Nitz, who proudly flaunted her new Dum-dum t-shirt. I saw that. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you Sarah. And should we have a quick advertisement break? Why not? Fancy getting your mouth around something warm. Something comforting you can really get a firm grip on. Why not buy a Dum-dum mug from the shop at Dum-dum.com. Goes down lovely. So that's it, Dum-dum-dum. He's over. Remember to go to our site, Dum-dum-dum.com to get involved. Oh, Lucy. Hello. You're a modern woman, aren't you? Nope. Here you are. You're on Twitter for God's sake. Okay, if that counts then yes. Do you buy things from the popular Amazon rainforest shopping website? I do not buy rainforests from anywhere else. Well, guess what? What? You can buy our mugs on Amazon. Can you? Absolutely. Don't you get them from Dum-dum-dum? Well, for some strange reason, I did a little bit of googling this morning, because I was trying to find any old website in the whole universe of the internet, where somebody's written a review about us, and I couldn't, but I bumped into the fact that Amazon, because it's Cyber Monday, are selling Dum-dum mugs. Really? Absolutely. And guess what? They're only £6.99, 40% saving. Core. Core indeed. So if you want to get yourself a Dum-dum mug, like Pronto, now it says it's a Cyber Monday thing. I've got a sneaky feeling I'll be able to do this all week. Go onto Amazon, the popular South American River website, and type in Dum-dum-dum, and you can get it super duper cheap. And we have a new range of clever pun related wares. That will be going live this week on our normal shop. So if you go to www.dum-dum.com, and if you fancy a t-shirt that says hello YouTube, or a baby gross bought in the legend, made in Ambridge, click on shop on our website. Yes. Review, news, news of reviews. Well, this is a section we might have to retire soon, because it's not going in the pointless category, you don't have so much else. We better not start putting on this. This is a bit pointless thread on the whole bloody podcast line. Right, we had niche nada or niente, as the Italians say, nothing, which means we will probably never get to the top of the podcast charts. And that's going to be really sad, because Lucy's bum jokes require it. You know, they don't mind it really. So I think that's sad. Oh, so very sad. However, next week is my birthday. I know. So if you want to send me a birthday present next week. Oh, sound effects. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Stop now. Have you comported yourself? Have suitably refreshed? Yep. Great. Right. Now, if you want to get me a birthday present, just write us a review on iTunes. That'd be great. Right. Now on the Facebook, we now host 555 likers. Oh, yes. This week, we asked you. So Royfield listens to the arches while on the tube or eating a plate of mince pies. Where and how do you listen to the docu drama. Hello, O.S. Day said I save the omnibus podcast for my Sunday run. I'm out in the boonies, so I can shout at Helen, Ed, Tony, as the need arises. Uh, C. Rowan Jones continued in bed knitting. And here is our millie bell with other arches related Facebook goings on. G'day, everyone. It's millie bell here, just with a bit of a Facebook roundup of the week. There's been a lot of activity on the dumpty-dum site. Had a bit of a look on some of the other pages and I noticed that most of the activity was actually about the new Tom. And the first one that caught my eye was from Jenny Stevens on Andbridge Addicts. And she said, "No point hoping that Tony will regain consciousness with Tom at his bedside tomorrow night. He won't bloody recognise his voice." On the Arches Appreciation Group Roy Carter said, "Ooh, you Tom." Completely unbelievable. He's not mentioned sausages or ready meals, and he spoke nearly a whole paragraph. And finally, this one caught my eye from Bridget Deutsch, who was on Andbridge Addicts. Pip went away and came back 10 years older. And Tom now sounds 16. There they go. Gallifrey in his favour, the new Tom did get some of quavering of voice the old Tom had. So thank you to everyone for those amusing posts. And I guess anything that manages to mention Dr Who and the Arches in the same sentence is always going to grab my attention. Please let us know if you see anything amusing. And other than that, have a great week and keep chatting on Facebook because you amuse us all over the world. Remember you can also send us a voice message via our site or you can call 0-0-3-0-3-1-3-1-0-5. From a normal phone to leave us a message, you can also ping us a regular text message if you like via our website or you can find @dum-dum-dum on the Twitters or tweet me @royfield or me @loosecv-freeman. So please, please, please keep the reviews coming because we want to be top of the podcast charts before Miss Marple moves into Ambridge. Very good. All right then, that's me. I'm going to watch The Walking Dead and then I'm going to take a walk to Starbucks but I'm not because I can never download anything from that Starbucks. Really? No, no, no, no. I can't upload. Oh, you know, yeah. Oh, well, because it's too sketchy. I think they've actually, oh, we have to say goodbye, haven't we? Goodbye! Goodbye, dear listener. [Music] Hey, it's Mark Marin from WTF here to let you know that this podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance and I'm sure the reason you're listening to this podcast right now is because you chose it. Well, choose Progressive's name your price tool and you could find insurance options that fit your budget so you can pick the best one for your situation. Who doesn't like choice? Try it at Progressive.com and now some legal info, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliate's price and coverage match limited by state law, not available in all states.

Dum Tee Dum Episode 35 – Bulls, nonsense and 2048

Podcast rss feed

E-mailTwitter

The post Dum Tee Dum Episode 35 – Bulls, nonsense and 2048 appeared first on DumTeeDum.