Ambridge on the Couch

Meghan Markle and bye bye Bartleby - a fan podcast about The Archers

The Indiscretions of Adam, farewell to Roy and Ambridge and technology #TheArchers

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Duration:: 58m
Broadcast on:: 30 Jun 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

Love this podcast? Support this show through the supporter feature from MakeCast. It's up to you how much you give, and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man, then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Welcome to Ambridge on the couch. Oh, it didn't come up in time. Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, and in because it's been so long, it wasn't in my recent, a script wasn't in my recent, because I haven't been it recently, but nice to be back. Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, and in depth, look at the arches with me, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, no. I, with me, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, Harry Girlmaggle, Matt Rodriguez, Payne, and James Everett. See, it's been so long. It feels like it's been six months since I was sitting here with you, Lucy. Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge. We began the week. Quite a thorough one, please, Lucy. Thank God. You're what, sorry? A recap, please. Okay. We began the week with Neil bringing Chris a massive tart to cheer him up after trying week with Martha. When he heard the news about Alice, he did a night in a brothel, never mind a tart. Adam, in a marvellous display of family loyalty, decided to tell Neil and Chris about Alice wanting a drink, so that was nice of him. The most upsetting part of the week was finding out that Adam's birthday is perilously close to mine, Harriet, and Matt Rodriguez, Payne's. If we do share any personality traits with Adam, I do hope it's not totally discretion combined with pessimistic melodrama. Alice has stopped answering the door to everyone, and he's just sitting and watching Telly. I don't blame her, frankly, as there's nothing more annoying than unexpected visitors, except perhaps unexpected visitors who shout, "What have you done, you lunatic, every time you open the door?" If she's wiling away the hours watching Joyce Grenfell films on talk TV and adverts for walk-in baths, I don't bloody blame her. Lillian drank brandy and talked about how everything was all her fault. Being any bells, Lillian? Carlotta was in danger of being poached, according to Justin, but Lillian had bigger problems. That, as Miranda wanted her support in handling brand, I'd suggest rubber gloves and a damp cloth. It was supposed to be a confidential chat, but Susan Struck Lucky was invited to sit down and then basically welded herself to the chair and refused to leave even when Miranda arrived. From Lillian to Lillian, and her vocal creak was at full throttle, particularly when it was revealed that Roy wasn't coming back, and Oliver was tapping her up to be interim cover large on the strength of her being able to work the printer. This will ruin her hot girl summer, but with Lillian Helm, Oliver can have a hot-old giver summer all of his own. Denim Cut-Off's blonde-high light, sunbathing by the gay-grables pool. He'll love it! Might even get into a situation ship with Meg Matthews, the erstwhile buyer of Bartleby. Everyone was surprised she was staying at gay-grables and had a friend in the laurels, but she was married to Noel Gallagher, she must be bloody loaded. Oliver did have his eye on Veronica for a lick for a situation ship, but as her wrist will be out of action, she's off the table. Harris-Mantern Fallon are Gerindeur, apparently, I don't know what Gerindeur is, it sounds Viking and quite exciting, so I'm pleased for them. Bartleby did his farewell tour around the village before having a last-minute reprieve courtesy of Georgie, who is slowly going mad in a Faustian pact, and thinks that by doing nice things he will somehow balance out the massive wrong he has done. Poor old Meg Matthews, not only is she staying in a hotel where the security guard has sex on the roof, and the work experience skills running the place, she's driven a sodding great horse-box all the way from Notting Hill, only to have the entire family having a massive divver. Eddie did his best to put the wind up, Georgie, by telling him that the barrister will try and trip him up, leg him over on his way up the steps, etc. I don't know what Georgie was expecting unless it was something along the lines of one of the political interviews a BBC used to do. Is there anything else you'd like to tell us, Prime Minister? Tell us Mr Grundy about your heroic acts without going into any detail that might incriminate you. Quick technology check, can we stop putting people on speakerphone, please? Justin was apparently being called upon to impersonate a horse, but truth be told I don't know what the hell he was doing really. Mick called Joy for no reason and stuck him and Joy stuck him on speaker, and then they all had a video call with Roy, which was lovely and everything, but do they not know that the whole point isn't you can all do it from different places. Mick is still pursuing his heartfelt want to get the sack from gay greyballs before his lapel badge has even been tarnished, this time he's decided that timesheets are a waste of time, along with personal hygiene, ironing and punctuality, and we've finished the week with bye bye Bartleby. Mick Matthews drove him off to the Glue factory, and the Grundy's waved him off with tears in their collective eyes after deciding to buy a load of apple trees with the money as well as a pointless bit of marble on the grounds that Bert Fry didn't have any, brilliant. No land for edge to graze his texels, no saving it to prop up their inevitably ailing finances later in the year, marble, because all the marbles they did have, they've lost the end. Yeah, what, the whole week was bye bye Bartleby, bye bye and we were like on day one, it was bye bye and then by day five I was like I'll just get cold, God trot on, shoot it, trot on, honestly the longest dragged out, do you think Bartleby's died in real life, that's why they've all fell well towards the black Sabbath, which was... I mean, I know it's lovely in everything that the whole village want to come and pat him goodbye, but I mean fair enough, but also it was, I think it was supposed to be a metaphor for something, but I couldn't work out what. Well, there was that whole thing with Susan doing the whole, if you done something wrong and then you, you know, you can change your life, if you're looking to the future and you can turn back and do this and basically what I'm saying George is that you're a dead horse, you're a really old horse, is that what it is? Because that's when it all got confusing, because that's what I started to think is the part, a whole Bartleby thing, a metaphor for, for, you know, old, bringing, I don't know, the old way of life, changing your, turning over a new leaf, blah, blah, blah, because when Susan was doing that sort of profound speech, just before she then went into the speech about, let's go Alice to the wolves, yes, yes, exactly, yes, when she started being poetical, and I thought, oh right, she knows about what George did. You know, she sort of, you thought, okay, well, she was basically saying, if you've done something wrong, you, yeah, I can't even remember what she was saying, but it was all along those lines, wasn't it, so he was changing him, or he must have been, I assumed that now Bartleby's gone, he sees more clearly or something. I don't know what it was, I couldn't look at whether it was like, be more Joe, but then I thought, well, Joe would have lied his ass off, because Joe, Joe was a massive liar, so, you know, Joe wouldn't have told the truth, no, no, but then also, and, and there was supposed to be some sort of redemption of George because he, I just heard my voice Lucy. I know, sorry, the cable fell out, you're back now, you know, it fell out, is it still recorded? Why didn't, did you pull it out, had you had enough? No, it's just given up the ghost now, it just drops out when it feels like it, it forgets to hold on and just. I heard myself wagging on, I just, what is this, Joe, we just shut up, oh my God, get Jeff back, get Jeff back, um, I was, well, I'm actually just talking waffle, because as I said to you earlier, I didn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I would listen to every episode, I, I'd say the arches has been quite low down on my priorities this week, so, yeah, none, none of it went massively in to be honest, but it wasn't, it was a good week for you to move a house and, yes, exactly, exactly, and not be around, exactly, because it was just bye bye Bartleby, yeah, and George churning about, but also, I think they're all being, I mean, the fact that Alice, I feel so devastated for Alice that no one, you know, even Adam hasn't thought to go, that they just all have assumed she's guilty, yeah, but that's what happens, isn't it? If you're told someone's guilty, then you don't even think that then, that there's a chance they couldn't be, yeah, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I thought that was so disloyal of him though, to tell why the hell, and of all the inflammatory people to tell, he tells Chris and Neil, well, because he knows it, and he knows it would get back to Susan, and she'll be on the war path, and, yeah, I know, Adam's, and I was also really disappointed, because it was Chris's birthday as well, clearly, because he said, Chris said Happy Birthday, Adam, and he went, oh yeah, you too, yeah, but Lucy, they are probably Gemini's, I don't really mind, I do, I do, I thought, it's like, you know, when you find out, like, I'm really happy that you, me and Matt have closed birthdays, because we're, we're family, so it, it brings us closer together, almost, you know, but I also got a shock when it was Adam's birthday, because I thought, it's like you find out you're related to someone. He related a Nigel Farage or something, oh, you've muted yourself again, what, oh no, you're back, I didn't do that though, I've, I've unmuted myself, but I didn't meet myself, well how did it happen then, because I'm recording this in someone else's house and there's obviously a poltergeist. Oh, we see. Yes. Oh yeah. That they didn't tell me about before we started recording. Well, at least it's an observation, that's fine. Yes. So, there's any technical issues? Okay. In Spain, Danny Robin. It's nice. Yeah. Can you, can you talk about the rest of the archers please, because I can't remember anything. Oh, it was mostly the horse. It was the horse and Roy, it was goodbye Roy. It was goodbye Roy, which was done very well, apart from the ridiculous, let's all crowd together around one little tiny laptop screen and ways when we could all have done it separately in different houses. Except then Freddie would have turned up and with all that, that, that, that, that uh, bulge. Yeah. Where has he gone again? Sorry. Bulgaria. Yeah, he's gone to Bulgaria. Yeah. And there wouldn't have been one person there. Yeah. So he's actually made sense. Because that's bloody Banitsa. Do you remember, there was, there was like a whole month when no one talked about anything other than Banitsa, courtesy of Lexi, because she made some, and it just went on and on and on and on and on and on and people were googling the recipe for Banitsa and they were, you know, oh my God. And then there it was again. So it was like, it was like the Banitsa tribute to Roy. But what was the town that Kirsty was going to move to? Is that nothing to do with Lexi? It was like, was it splot or split or something? Yeah, split or splot, but that was Lexi's town, wasn't it? Or no? Is that something completely different? No, it was near, but it was a job that Lexi had found for Kirsty and said it to her. Oh, okay. Fine. Okay. It was Lexi related though. Yeah. Okay. Then I was about Bartleby, because Bartleby's not dead. He's just going to another farm, which is probably only a few miles down the road. And they've still split up Bartleby and Gem. Okay. So this is another thing. I was going, who's Gem? Don't you remember? Okay. Luckily, Barbara has come to our aid on this. For you. She said, I seem to remember Gem was an abandoned pony, left somewhere in the village, and Shuler stepped in to find her a happy home. That's when she went to be a companion to Bartleby. So they've got another horse that they don't even, that they've barely mentioned. Yes. Yes. So I was surprised because I thought, all right, it's not just Bartleby there. So I mean, it's all, I know it's drama, but the whole, you know, the upkeep of yet another horse surely is also out of control. Yes. So they've still got bills and everything else. Yes, exactly. So another horse. Yes. Yes. So, yeah. Ridiculous. And why is Meg Matthew's buying Bartleby? And do we believe her? And is she the grey man? Oh, God, don't, don't your star Richard Keeling off again? But what was the point of it all Lucy, otherwise this is why, and why she had a prominent role this week, didn't she? She did. Well, I was thinking, okay, she's had a horsey background. Is she going to take over from Alice? Oh, by the stables. Yeah, just because it seemed to be kind of a, I don't know, she just seemed to be, we learnt more about her. Yes. Yes. There was a lot of investment. Yeah. Yeah. Well, all we need to do is check her Twitter account, don't we? Afterwards, I'll have a look and see what if she actually, because if she says I play so and so on the archers, then we'll know. Oh, hang on. I've just found her on, on X. Do you want me to tell you who she is? Yes. Is it Sue Jenkins? What? In which, is she the actress? I don't know. Oh, I thought you must know. No. Hang on. Yeah, Sue Jenkins, that's in the cast list, actor, director and co-founder of the actor's love. Oh, right. Wow. So she's, she's properly. Okay. Good, good person. Uh, but doesn't, I don't, doesn't look like she's. She doesn't say pays make Matthews on the archers. Mm. No. Okay. Right. Oh, she hasn't been on for a couple of years. Okay. But it felt like she, it felt like, you know, they wouldn't, it was more than a cameo, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I know that that was partly said that we were all reassured that Bartleby was going to a nice place, although by this stage none of us gave a shit, but. We were just thinking sausage, it, it barely sent to the pounds to feed the hounds for the next month. That would be fine. It's a bit like the happy ending for black beauty, wasn't it? Yes. Yes. Someone said that, actually. Yeah. So that was really very sweet. But what was I going to say about Sue Jenkins slash Meg Markle? Um, I can't remember. Megan Markle. Is that who it was? Yes. It was Michael. Yes. It was the other one. And make Matthews. Um, I really feel as if I need, because the whole thing about the laurels, why even mention the laurels? Because it was to show she was wealthy. And also, if she's got some, I guess if she's got a relative in the laurels, then it shows that she's got links. She's going to be connected. Yeah. She's got links. Yeah. Which got horses too. Yeah. Bob. Bob. Um, okay. Continue, please. Kill. Um, and Cure has realized that the recipe book for her outdoor grill, um, has been written by Febreze of Felpisham because she opened it. This is Anin Ottawa. And it said, "Turn grill on high when grille is heat." She said, "Thank you Febreze. It was delicious." So, I like it when you get in destruction. Will you buy something from Amazon and you, and you read the instructions and the Febreze version. I'm sorry. You should just spend more money. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And you're going, huh? Yeah. What is, what is? Um, Tracey says, "Krusty is the only archer's character I have real views on what she looks like. Can I throw actor Sarah Hadland into the mix?" Oh, for Krusty. Yeah. She's, well, does, so she, well, she doesn't know like Sarah Hadland because we know who she is. Yeah. It's the Adebell Dowler. Yeah. But I could see that kind of not, not sort of overwhelmingly pretty but really kind of animated. Yes. And funny face. Yes. Yes. Yes. Very warm face. Yes. And vivacious. Yes. Yes. Yes. Sparking eyes. Yes. All that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Now we have many joy, joy, joy, things. Joy. Who says, "Family is, they're about to join Rachelle. Family alienation. Technically, that's when one parent turns a child against the other parent. I've seen it with friends and spouses, isolating people and their families. I'm sure someone suggested this before. And I remember Joy saying something about Rachelle not wanting to have anything to do with her. So that was somebody last week said, "I remember that." And me and Jeff were going, "No, really? Because it seemed, oh my God, now my robot Hoover started. Hang on one second." Because your plugs come out. No. That's a whole different set of technology. A new plug's gone in. Go. Is that a robot? In your house? I didn't know you were so modern. Thank you. I am starting the testing. The dog has just got galloping up. This place is filthy. Put me on more often, please. I can do podcasts. He does. He does. I like to think of it as him. He sounded like a girl. He does. I don't think of him as him. He sometimes sends me little messages going, "Help. I am stuck." Well, he's on to chairs and things, which is quite endearing, really. Well, you're so 20, 25, you've lost it. Thank you very much. I'm very impressed. So we were worrying that we couldn't understand how if there was actually a piece where Joy had said she doesn't want anything to do with me that we couldn't remember it because we don't remember it as being that obvious or that blatant and James Everett has found the clip. Wow. Here it is. I know. James is fantastic. Here it is. Joy. Oh, that's something in my eye. I just... Is everything okay? No. Are you feeling I'm well? No. I did something go wrong with you alone. No. It's me. I'm a liar, Tony. I've lied to you. What? Oh, this is so embarrassing. I don't understand. I wasn't on Skype with Rachel and the kids today. No. And they're not coming for Christmas. Even now I've moved to where I was big enough for everyone. In fact, she sent me a text to say she's too busy and I probably won't see them until you, yeah. Oh, so why did you say you'd spoken to her when you hadn't? Because I wanted you to think me family love me. Oh. I see. Oh my gosh. I guess she was always a daddy's girl at heart and she always will be. But who sent a text to the mother? A Christmas a text. That's extraordinary. That we'd all forgotten that. Yes. Yeah. And I don't remember hearing that now. But that was when Joy, it was when she was obsessed with her midget. And it was when she was trying to get into Tony's pants, wasn't it? Yeah. Bonnet. Yes. Oh gosh. So I think we were all focused. We were all looking in the wrong direction. Yeah. We were all focused on the relationship with Tony and actually there was all the stuff with Michelle. And I can't believe that no one, well, I could clearly, some people did say. Yeah. But not many because. Yeah. And how on earth did James uncover that? Because after all the thousands of hours that occurred, no, he's like something. I don't know. I wonder if he has a special algorithm, Lucy. Well, there you go. She does exist. Unless that was all I like. No, but that didn't sound like it, didn't it? No. Well, who'd have thunk it? Well, we're clearly going to find out quite soon, aren't we? Ellen hopes so. She says, listening this week at how compassionate Joy was when talking about Alice, maybe wonder whether Alice's story might mirror her own. Yes. Could Joy and Rachelle be estranged due to struggles Joy might have had in the past. Maybe with addiction or mental health, maybe Joy has kept her secret. She doesn't want Alice to lose hope in her own relationship with Martha. It might also explain why Joy seems to keep Mick at a safe distance too. Perhaps she doesn't trust him or even herself. Hurry up, Joy, and spill the beans. Yes. There was a bit of, you know, coming out of her, her truth coming out a little bit wasn't there. Yeah. Yeah. And with you about Mick, he's hopeless and annoying, when he was, I mean, I know it was to show that no one has much respect for Lily, but come on, you've been there two weeks at your clock doing your timesheet properly. Yeah. And they're not, and it's not up to you to decide what is a waste of time or not. No. Exactly. You just get on with the job. Yes. Professionally. Yes. Yeah. I find him quite irritating already, actually. Yeah. Yeah. She sounded like Joy quite a lot, I thought. Yes. A golden and warm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very similar tone, which was quite confusing. Yeah. AJ wants to know how come Roy can decide to move to Bulgaria at the drop of a hat? In the real world, he'd have to prove regular income and fill in copious amounts of paperwork, and even then it's not definite that he'll be able to stay. Maybe he'll marry Lexi. That's true. Because we had the Brexit, didn't we? We did have the Brexit. So, unless he's there on a tourist visa and he'll just have to come home every three months. Oh, they couldn't do that. Well, obviously they got it. Can you imagine? Obviously it's just so annoying. Just so annoying. I didn't know. I didn't know. But they could just not mention it. Yes. Maybe he goes to Mike's on his... Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, why didn't they have Mike and Vicki back just for a sort of like dinner? I know. And he's here them on the video call. I know. Anyway. Um, Jean, Artigene says, "Hello, you two, whichever two you are this week. Oliver is paying for full livery from the stables for Duke. This means that he has entrusted Duke's care to the stables and they do everything for him. Oliver only turns up to ride, which means Oliver can't, as another correspondent said last week, have spread it to the stables because he has nothing to do with other horses. Oliver might have spread it to Bartleby in gem, though. It's entirely possible that Bartleby could spread strangles to his new home, a home I hasten to add that no one has bothered checking out." Yes. Weird that they haven't gone there. Yes. I saw a photo of it. Oh, well, that's fine then. She's staying at Great Apple, so she must have been very nice and have a very big field. Yes. Um, Shelley says, "Um, I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring for predictions about Rochelle. I don't think it's anything too awful, just sad. I think Joy's estranged from Rochelle, probably after a mental health issue that Joy had, Rochelle has not been able to get past her to ever happen, and now Joy follows the family from afar so she can talk knowledgeably about what they're all doing, but only because she looks at them on social media." Oh, that's so sad, but again, it wasn't, we sort of did that thing over, I'm listening to the John Ronson podcast, which is very good, and we all fell into the moral panic and we all started catastrophising when actually all along it was just something we already knew. Yeah. That she's estranged. Yeah. Yeah. Weird. Weird. Um, Sarah is in New Zealand. She said sometimes, she said, "I'm writing for the bottom of the planet, sometimes New Zealand is left off global maps." What? Despite this, I promise we do really exist. Oh. Um, it's the best shape. She's the best country shape. She started listening to the arches in 2008 and thought it was a live recording from an English village, and it took her six months to realise it was made up. It sort of is though the way, isn't it, because there's definitely a village that is mimicking the arches every day. Yes. Yes. Um, um, so she says, "Has anyone else noticed that the parents in Amherst never actively parent, they never converse with their children, or wash their clothes, or cook them food? Rosie's a case in point. Pip farms out her care to everyone, marth of the same. When can they not do something because their toddler won't disengage from their leg or when they're late because their kid refused to get in the car?" Um, so, oh yes, and she knows what the, uh, what the hell is happening here was this week, which is very good, except she's wrong. Uh, she's, oh no, I'll do that later when I do that, that bit, but she also says, uh, she's been watching Bridgerton, and whenever Colin is mentioned, I hear Fabrice saying, "Colleen, it's very distracting, but it doesn't make me laugh." They're trying to explain that to anyone else, might be locked up in an insane asylum. Um, and this is, uh, Vicky's Rochelle's prediction, Rochelle is in prison, Joy's whole life was Rochelle, and when Rochelle was sent to jail, Joy feels that she failed in her job of raising her daughter. Now, she's embarrassed about her daughter's predicament, moved to a new village, and is pretending that all is well with Rochelle. Well, James Everett has, I think, sort of disproved that, because she, unless, unless Joy doesn't know she's in prison, and that's why Rochelle texted her. Yep. Mm. Okay, so the plot's still thick. So, Vicky is from Oklahoma and says, "Uh, yes, we do have a Broadway song as our state song, 'Yes, the winds really do go sweeping down the plains.'" Oh, so lucky. Oh, what a beautiful morning! But she pointed out that BBC sounds this week suddenly sent out a message to everybody overseas saying, "Arches content cannot be played outside of the UK." So, everybody went into a panic, I went on to Reddit, and found the, the, the, um, the thread about people going, "What's happening? What's happening? What's happening?" "Is this a new thing? Are we now banned?" And I spoke to, um, one of the nice engineers at Radio 4, and they said, "Ooh, has it? That shouldn't have happened." And then, uh, yes, it was a cock up. So they fixed it. Did you save the world, Lucy? No. Oh, my gosh. And they fixed it, and they said it was a, don't panic, it was a one-off, it, it's not a, it's not a thing, um, it was, it was a cock up, not conspiracy, as these things did you always ask. So, like, if it wasn't for Lucy V. Freeman, no, I think other people had that side. People had noticed. But it's, but, but if you email, because, you know, because we know, no one has your contacts. Because we know the people that work, that work, that work there is, it's faster than going through the, you know, if there is a fault, please, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, yes. So don't panic. If you can't hear the arches, press two. If you can't hear, you and yours. So don't panic. If you've got that message, don't panic. It's not a, they haven't, they're not even contemplating stopping you listening to do it overseas. It was literally a cock up. I would say it's a human right. Yes. And that would, that would be something that would have to be taken to court in Belgium. Yeah. One of those. Yeah. Yeah. But he hands on your head, I agree completely that the writing has been outstanding lately. I believe that the truth will out about George being responsible for the crash, but only after Alice has gone to prison. The writers will make the most of his guilt on the village's outrage at his dishonesty. This story has a lot more to give. I mean, I thank God she is pleading, not guilty. Yeah. Thank God. And I think, I think that's right, actually. Well, I don't know. I think George is just going to come unstuck in court because no one has yet asked any questions. No. Quite. I mean, yeah. I mean, that once the, yeah, once they start unraveling exactly. Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my hundredth mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, when I started this, I thought only I have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com/switch, whatever you're ready. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month, new customers on first three month plan only, taxes and fees extra, speeds lower above 40 gigabytes of city details. Millions of people have lost weight with personalized plans from noon. Like Evan, who can't stand salads and still lost 50 pounds. Salad's generally for most people are the easy button, right? For me, that wasn't an option. I never really was a salad guy. That's just not who I am, but new work for me. Get your personalized plan today at noon.com. Real noon user compensated to provide their story. In four weeks, the typical new user can expect to lose one to two pounds per week. Individual results may vary. What happened? Yeah. There are going to be some sticky questions for George, aren't there? Yeah. Steve Barry has done a little dissection of the case. He says, "If George had just doned up, he would unlikely to be charged with anything. As far as we know, he'd drunk one bottle of alcope up, and so it was unlikely to have been over the limit. The crash was caused by him trying to stop Alice opening the draw of the car and climbing out. Yeah. So, charging him with careless or dangerous driving wouldn't stick, and it's doubtful that it would even be pursued." I mean, it wasn't Alice's fault, but the accident was caused by her because he was sort of trying to restrain me. He said secondly, Alice may not have been driving the car, but she is still responsible for the crash because she was trying to climb out of a moving vehicle while drunk, which is enough to distract most drivers. Oh, dear George. Oh, it's just gone so far, hasn't it? Yeah. But it's interesting because we've now sort of got sympathy with him even though he's been a chite. Well, except that, because I'd sort of forgotten all a lot, I'd forgotten that actually it wasn't his fault. Yeah. Now, you know, in my head, he's just, well, he's the guilty one. Yeah. Oh, it's all a bit of a mess, isn't it? And he says, "Also, Fallon. Fallon has gone up in Steve's estimation. I've been struggling with her, not wishing to talk about the miscarriage while I have some sympathy with her body, her business line of argument. Generally, there can be context. The prospective father does, in fairness, in a stable relationship, have some skin in the game and is at least entitled to an opinion. When she's been saying that Harrison firstly can't talk about it to anyone else, then won't talk about it with him, it puts him in a bit of a bind. When your partner has a faith, even if you don't, then talking to the vicar, other faith leaders are available, is probably a reasonable response. It's not like he was talking to Clary or Susan after all. Last week, when she finally admitted that Harrison did have a right to his own reaction, this made me feel a lot more comfortable about it all. Yes, I agree. Well, yes, exactly. I suppose her anger is all going to kick off again now, isn't it? Because the trial. Now she's pleaded guilty, yeah, not guilty. He says, lastly, has Jeff been doing secret voiceover work? We went to Dunster Castle, and one of the recordings in the kitchen sounded just like Jeff. My God, he's everywhere, isn't he? He's doing these bright and instruction booklets for outdoor grills, voiceovers in castle. I hope it is, Jeff, in the castle. I told him that and he just went, "Plasiela, I'm missing a trick, can't I?" Yes. Yes. There's a lot of work to be had in those, you know, when they all go back in time. Oh, yes. Audio guides. God. Yeah. So this is from Emma, who says, "Despite having listened for nearly 20 years, and rarely if ever missed an episode, I seem to have massive brain lesions where most plotlines are concerned. But can anyone tell me why the hell Lillian Freddy were two of the four members of the Goodbye to Roy this week, where on earth were Oliver Tracy, those actually knew and worked with him. Am I missing some great affection between him and the twins? All I can remember is considerable friction when Roy was discovered to have slept with Elizabeth in a tent at lockspot, or wherever it was. Oh, it would be great if Lillian walked in. Yeah. Hi Roy. Yes, that's how we did. We did. Clothes on. Yes. Because Lillian was like a massive part of the Good Boy. Yeah. Good Boy. Yeah. Good Boy Roy. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, if only they knew. Oh, she says great tribute to Roy well done the script writers. It was. She said, "Hi Harriet, nice to have you back, although Jeff did a sterling job filling in for you." She also says, "I remember Mick saying weeks ago he was having flashbacks to the night of the accident, so maybe he and Joy will start talking about it once they think about being called to court and put two and two together." Yeah, I wondered about that because I thought, "Oh, my brain has just been, there's so many things that I can't remember, mostly where I've put stuff." And I just can't believe that I can't remember where I've put them because they're important things like birth certificates. And so I've been trying to, you know, I've been lying on the floor and trying to, you know, sort of hypnotize my brain so it remembers, there must be a way of finding a memory. Like once it's gone, it's not gone forever, is it? No. Because people do all that hypnotizing stuff. Don't they? Dorothy Elsay is writes about that in them. Oh, really? Yeah, you know. She into all that. No, in one of the... Oh, the P2Msies. Yeah. Right. And it's the one about the murdered surgeon and he talks to all these surgeons and he takes them back through the case and says, "So, imagine you turning over the pages of your..." You know, when detectives say, "What were you doing last Wednesday?" I go, "I was at the cinema!" And if someone said to me, "What were you doing last Wednesday?" I'd have just looked at them helplessly because I have absolutely no idea. Exactly. And he said, "You turn back the pages of your diary and you find something around then and then you go into that memory and then you go into that memory and then you go into that memory." So it's all like layers. Yes. So there must be. I would have thought there's a professional who can help Alice remember or at least help Yes. Joy and Mick remember. Yeah. Or maybe they'll get in there. Or you find things that you've lost. I'll never find... I mean, there's so many things and I'll just never find them. And maybe on my deathbed I'll go, "Oh, why would them?" But now... Second drawdown! No! It's just weird though because it's weird to completely lose a memory in such a short... No, it's a short term memory. Yeah. So I'm not used to not remembering. But I've just... But there's so much going on I suppose that those memories have been shoved away to get down somewhere. Yes. Well, if they're not... When you get full up, I think, your brain's like, "No, we don't need that." It's only going to remember the most important things, like how to walk and things like that, where the car is. Stuff like that. Yeah. Everything else. And never over the passports. No. Gone. Oh. Kate Lloyd Jones is talking about this, but she's talking about the script writers amnesia. But she said this week it was like everybody, everything got stirred up again. Buddy Bethany and Abby, with a reference to Down syndrome, which would totally confuse the newbie listener. All of us daughter in the States, I'd completely forgotten how it works. Oh, hi. Me too. Yeah. Nice that the backstory isn't completely forgotten or rewritten. But once in a Blue Moon reference, it's a bit too hard to take, she says. It reminds me that Kenton recently said to Fallon, "You're like a daughter to me." And she shouted back, "And when did you last mention your actual daughter?" And surely Johnny should have sailed back from Brazil by now. But she said, "But then again, when I were a lass, Adam and Kenton with a forgotten offspring posted off to foreign climbs and dropped into the script once a year, and now look." Oh. Hmm. So that, yeah, that's interesting. That must be so fun if you're a script writer, because you've got all those characters that are dotted all around the globe. Yeah. And you could decide to bring one back and play with it and see how it does and then send it back. If you don't like it. Um, this is from Mander Champagne, best name ever, again. Best name ever. She said, as we call her. You were surprised to hear that Wayne Fallon's father was working in the back of the ball and wondered when that happened. This week, I happened to be listening to the Archers archives, and Wayne had just started working at the ball in February 2016. Frida had died after the flood, and they struggled to find a replacement chef. Is it possible Wayne has been silently slaving away back there since then? Yes. I've always pictured Harriet and Lucy as Mel and Sue, Harriet being Mel and Lucy being Sue. I have since looked up your pictures, but my brain remains convinced otherwise. I don't know if I'm flattered or not. I'm flattered. I think I love super. Yeah. They've both got those quirky faces, Lucy, bit like that. Well, we're a bit like what you described, Sarah Hadlander. As my mother once said to me, "Well, darling, you're no Julia Roberts." Oh, God. I was complaining about our boyfriend not being good-looking enough. And she just hammered down the truth. What a bitch. You know, actually, yeah, it was a good wake-up call. Reader I married him. Oh. No. It wasn't Rufus. I couldn't possibly say. Anyway, Richard Keeling managed to get off the topic of the Grey Man for one email and said, "What a lovely send-off to Roy this week." It was obviously tuned to the sadness due to the circumstances, and yes, it was a bit strange. Them just talking about a video call, but it was done in such a way that you could really imagine what the call looked like. Yes. I'll always have a soft spot for Lexi. She was my first new character, but I was always really annoyed with her and Roy splitting up. So this was a perfect ending, in my opinion. I just think, as you said, they could have had-- I mean, if you were going to not-- I mean, obviously, you don't, as you said, for a video call, you don't need to be in the same room. But if they were going to do it, why not do it properly and have 10 people over? Yes. Because then it's a party video call, which is different to just some randoms. First, you're going, "Oh, my God, I'm not sure Roy's going to be happy because it's just me so I'll just do about the next person I bump into." And he said, "When they did a toast for Roy at the end of the episode, it really felt like it was the actual actors honoring the actor who played Roy, as well as the characters honoring Roy. I'm not going to lie, I did well up a bit, which caught me totally off guard." Exactly. That's a thing. You know that the actors were thinking of him. And he's also sent something for you, which he thought you would appreciate, so I'm going to forward it to you, which is a link to a TikTok thing. Thanks. What else have we got? Bum, bum, bum. Anyone going on a hot girl summer? That was my favourite bit of the week. My hot girl. My hot girl. My hot girl summer. She could have just said, "My holidays." Yes. It was so funny, but of course it was precious that she said it to all of us. My hot girl summer. No. We've had a hot girl summer Lucy. Me? Yeah. No. Have you? Do you live in Roberts? I had so many, Lucy. How do you even know what it is? What is it? I did. I mean, is it just you go away with your hot girlfriends? No, it's when you have a glow up. No. What? I thought it meant she was going to go away with her hot girlfriends and they were going to be singing a little hot. No, no, no, no. You are the girl in the hot girl summer. It's about you. You have a summer of love where you just want about looking fantastic and everybody Frances you. But you can still do that at work. And also, what are you going to do if you're not at work? Just want about by being into Kirstie and going to video. Cool. Apparently. Yes. Yes. You just, you know, get a tan and well I think we should vow to have one. Okay. I'm going to try it. It's pissing down here. Can I have a damp girl summer? Are you kidding? Yes. Is it pissing down in Wales? Yeah. We haven't got above, we haven't got above 65 degrees yet. Don't tell me. No, we didn't have all the sunshine. No, we didn't. We had one day. We had one day where it got to 72. That was it. What's that in degrees? I don't know. Like 20. One, two, three. It was 30 degrees in London. I know. It was too hot. Yes. I can't believe you didn't get the sunshine. It's been proper, proper summer here. Yeah. All right. Thank you. I'm surprised. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I'm sitting in a hoodie. Looking out. I might as well be living in the Norfolk broads because there's so much cloud. I can't even see to the end of the garden. Let alone the mountains. I'm in my neighbor's house. She doesn't know. Well, she does know. I'm babysitting. But anyway, I'm also forecasting. She doesn't know that way. But anyway, I'm using her Wi-Fi. But I went into there. I've been using my fingers as a student. They were broken in. But yeah. I've got to get me some keys. I've basically been using everyone else's Wi-Fi this week, but I went into their attic where the study is. It was so hot. I had to just. I've come into a different room. So you are having a hot girl summer? I am having a sweaty girl summer. Yes. I am having a sweaty girl summer. Yeah. I'm having a damp one. Nice. Such an attractive book. Hot, fresh summer. Hot, fresh summer. I'm having. Oh, my God. Ah, dear. Good. This is from Sloane Garrett, who says, "Abridge Guffin struck the globe when Tuesday's episode was temporarily geo-blocked on all platforms. The sorry this content can only be played in the UK message, reminded us like a headmaster wrapping our knuckles with a stick that Britannia rules the airwaves and can shut down transmission whenever she wants. Am I the only 50-something man in Canada working out how to stave off archers withdrawal? I wondered to myself as I furiously pumped iron between rechecking BBC Sans My Podcast feed. That blip aside, I loved how Alice's not guilty plea was told and not shown. An actual courtroom scene, gasps and all, would have been trite. Hearing about it's second hand from Adam was actually very evocative. He should quit the farm under eight audiobooks instead. Let us eat us loads. I also enjoyed Linda's haughty dismay at Joy's ambitions for a frippery free fate. I don't know why Linda has decided to loosen her own grip on the event as being president or emperor or whatever it is of the cricket team does not seem all consuming. I think she likes to say she's not going to do things so that everyone will a go, "Oh no we can't do it without you, Linda!" "I really enjoyed Linda and Joy and Joy just going, 'No, it's fine, oh don't it!' "Yeah, it's just a put your mantle on, she said, 'Yes, I wasn't sure, I've taken it off.' "And if it fits very well, give me a mantle back, Joy, I thought that was so funny all of that, I loved it, I loved it, I loved it." Now this week Japs, Harriet is on a tight schedule, so I'm not going to read. "It's my tight girl Summer Linda, I'm studying. "I am not going to read all the emails, I'm saving some for next week." Sorry, I'll be on a less of a tight, after Wednesday I'm in a much less tight schedule if anyone wants to give me some work, thanks, bye." So now we're going to have a quick, 'What the hell is happening here?' Last week, well I won't tell you because you didn't listen and you don't know, but who got to say it? "I'm not going to say it, Lucy!" "No, you didn't." "I just didn't have time." Sarah Radford said, "This week was from when Elizabeth returned from her institution where she'd recovered from depression, Lily and Freddie didn't know what to do or help or how to treat her and were walking on eggshells, maybe four years ago. You are wrong, Sarah, it was not that, it was when, oddly, Lily and Freddie had followed Elizabeth to a conference where they saw her and Vince together. "Oh, oh yes, I remember that." Not obeying social distancing, as Lily pointed out. "That's right, they were stalking their mum." Yeah, and that was from 2020, and this is this week's clip. "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom." "What the hell is happening?" "What the hell was happening to you?" "Great, right." "Why don't you ask Rex to stay up?" "Hey, that's a good idea." "You know, he's much better behaved than his brother, okay?" "How about it, Rex? Do you fancy staying up 'til dawn?" "Something I would never say." "It's really not, but you have got to come and see this." "Hey, what's that?" "Linda on the bongos, and she's really going for it." "Who was that?" "Yeah." "Oh." "It's a good job, I haven't got to go to work tomorrow." "Thanks for staying." "I think I lost track of time about three hours ago." "It's shame if he didn't come." "Yeah, I know." "But she's 18." "No." "Where did all the years go?" "It's scary, isn't it?" "I haven't exactly been the greatest parent, Roy." "Me neither." "Phoebe's turned out okay, though." "Oh, she's brilliant." "So, we must have done something, right?" "That's more down to you than me." "Oh, I don't know." "No, it is, Roy." "I don't know where she'd have been without you." "Especially when I wasn't even here." "Yeah." "Awww, cute." "Oh boy." "Do you remember that?" "Mmm." "Was that time when they got those fish together?" "Phoebe gave them a fish each." "Oh, yeah, it could have been, couldn't it?" "They could." "Yeah, and they had to keep them alive." "And Kate had to keep Roy alive, and Roy had to keep Kate alive." "Exactly, but they both died." "And Kate kept Roying about half an hour." "That was excellent, another excellent storyline, I love that." "Oh, that's very sweet." "Yes." "I don't remember the fair/festival/birthy party they were at." "Wrecks sounded really young." "Yeah." "Yes, he did, didn't he?" "Yeah, he was trying to work out." "Why, he sounded really different." "He sounded very different." "Mmm." "Wrecks, would you like to stay up is something I would never say?" "All night, would you like to stay up to dawn?" "Wrecks." "No." "No." "Would you like an early night?" "Well, I'll like it." "No, you're having one." "Yes, it is." "Oh, and now it is the sketch, and today we are going over to election night special with Febreze of Felpisham." "We are going over to election night special with Febreze of Felpisham." "We are going over to election night special with Febreze of Felpisham." Colleen, Colleen, "I have been papped." "Yes, apparently there is photo of me in Boardchester life. Have you seen?" "Oh, pass me this week issue. There was photographer outside the cafe over the road last week, and he papped me. It is very difficult being a celebrity and living life in the lime kiln." "I had to walk past him nine times before he put down his sandwich and take photo." "Oh, here I am." "It's say, Febreze of Felpisham, flaunt is fuller figure in...oh, oh, depress is disgrace. Can you destroy all copies, please?" "Yes." "No." "Oh, now." "Hello, hello, this is me, Febreze of Felpisham, looking like I have just stepped out of the salon because I have...welcome to my erection special. I am very excited as I have never been involved this close with an erection before, and this is a general one, so it is even better, an erection for everyone. You have to remember your ID, so I am bringing passport, driver's license, even though that was registered in Eurovision, so the picture has been colored in by hand, and I don't know if that counts, and a selection of studio shots of me in different mood." Febreze, the visionary, sexy Febreze, and chief executive Febreze, which is quite like sexy Febreze, except I wear a tie, nothing else, just a tie. So, in the interest of being fair to everyone, all local candidates will be allowing same amount of time to tell us what their policies are. So first up, Mr. Minskasey, for the Conservative Party, you are live on the air, tell us all about your erection. "I beg your pardon." "Well, tell us about your policies." "How was she? Right. Well, immigration has come right out of hand, except for the Filipinos. I need them for the Abattoir, and they don't nick everything that isn't nailed down, so they're good boys. Also, I am right behind this National Service Scheme, especially for Lily Pargeter. In fact, if it was only for Lily Pargeter, I'd be even more behind it. Also, we need to do something about the NHS. I don't know what exactly, but I am forming an idea about a dual-function Abattoir author of PIVX Board. We've got the room, we've got the tools, whip your old whip out, and off your trot. Also, Viagra needs to be available over the counter." It is already, isn't it? "No, not just the chemist's counter, news agent, curry house, you name it." "Okay! Thank you, Mr. Minskasey, time is up, and now, Krusty Miller, who is going green." "Oh, hi Febreze, my mission on behalf of the Green Party is to offer subsidized public transport to encourage more people to leave their cars at home. There's one boss in Ambridge, which leaves at 9.15 in the morning, and gets you back the following Saturday. We should be recycling more, too. I want 75 bins for each household, and the death penalty for anyone who doesn't wash out their tin cans. And let's tackle the water companies about sewage in our rivers, you can practically walk across the am." "Thank you, Krusty Miller, and the last emmer grandi on behalf of Labour Party, who is on the parish council. So she has already handled quite a few erections in her time, and to know what she is doing." "You're not wrong there, Febreze. Oi, emmer grandi, am here to protect the working classes from the monstrous exploitation of the ruling classes, with their land and their money and their cafes. Small farms and boat chisters struggling with the effects of climate change, while local land owners are making them grey-shaped on cricket pitches, and not that anyone has been doing that, I'm sure. Also, if anyone is looking for any tree work, may I suggest M&A tree services, branches across the west level?" "Oh, I had to cut that short there, as it did not meet the guidelines. So there we are, vote early, vote often, as we do in Eurovisia. I hope that helps you make up your mind about what you are going to do. Remember, it is your erection." Bye!" "Radio Borsett's here." "And that's it. Oh, that's it, well done Lucy. This is like an incredible producer." "Thank you very much." "We've got two minutes." "Yep." "And it's partly we're having to end it because the dog is an hour late for his dinner and he's hopping around behind me, sighing heavily, which is so noisy, I think you can actually hear on the recording." "And your plug's about to go." "And my plug's magic. Just drop it." "And this time when we record next week, there will have been Hanhelexion." "Yes." "And this week that we are recording, we've said both of a year older." "Yes." "And can I just say a big happy birthday to Matt and thank you so much for my card, which is really lovely and I didn't send anyone a card, including Lucy, but next year it will be a really massive card instead." "One of those huge ones, like with a padded satin teddy bear on something." "Yes, exactly. Like glitter that falls out when you open it." "Because I don't know where my envelopes are, Lucy. It's another thing I've lost." "Are they with the birth certificate?" "Yes, they are." "I don't know where they are, I can't send anything, because they're special ones which are coloured and big. They're like blue and yellow and red and they're an extra big one. So I'm so sorry everybody, I can't send any questions." "Where's all this stuff to get hypnotized?" "Where is your house got to be done?" "Crust must?" "Really, that's what they said." "No, no, no. In a few weeks, we just need to sort ourselves out." "Have you got water?" "Got cold water." "Cold, cold." "In one basin, we've got one basin with cold water and we've got a shower hose. And it's fine for me because I only shower in cold water anyway, but the kids haven't showered for two weeks, but they're fine, they don't sweat. It's been sunny." "Have you got something?" "Next week, we'll have an oven and it's been, the kids have loved it. We've had takeaways, we've been out for, I was like, such a horrible, like, gross London life. We've been out for breakfast every day. They're having a brilliant time, they're loving it." "They're having a hot kid summer." "Yeah, they're having a hot kid summer. And it's a good thing I am like cold showers, in fact, because with my hot girl summer and no hot water, that wouldn't be great for anybody, especially because I'm wearing short sleeves." "Thank you so much for having me." "Thank you, thank you. And Matt is also enjoying this, the heat as he puts it." "Feet." "This is my weather," he says, "in honour to the sun gods, I offer a carnival arrangement. You're all just taking the piss now, aren't you?" "Oh, sorry Lucy, and it's always sunny on our birthdays, but it's not now you've moved." "So yes, so we've got carnival archers now." "Cool." "Okay, with Linder on the Bongos, okay." "Linder on the Bongos, goodbye everybody, we love you a lot and we'll speak to you next, I mean, see you next week." "Thank you. Thank you everybody. Goodbye." "Huck girl, huck girl, huck girl summer, huck girl summer, huck girl summer." "Huck, huck, huck girl summer." "I mean, I'll go some way you should think." "I want to know, I'm be able to know that was pretty good." "Huck girl." "I love this." "Do you need a good job on the Bongos and she's like, she's so good." "Oh, the whole is good, the summer." "Do you like it?" "What girl summer, huck girl?" "I love this. I love this. Oh, that was so good, Matt. I'm sorry for ruining it. I'm like talking all over it. Hopefully it's on here without having a chum-tongue all the way through it. He emailed me and I sent it to you. Hopefully it's on SoundCloud already. I'm going to Matt's page on SoundCloud for the uninterrupted, much better version. Sorry, Matt, I just couldn't resist. Bye! Bye! Imagine the softest sheets you've ever felt. Now imagine them getting even softer over time. That's what you'll feel with Bolin Branch's best-selling signature sheets in 100% organic cotton. In a recent customer survey, 96% replied that Bolin Branch sheets get softer with every wash. Start getting your best night's sleep in sheets that get softer and softer for years to come. Try their sheets with a 39 guarantee. Plus get 15% off your first order at Bolin Branch.com code "Buttery." Exclusions apply. See site for details.